This chapter is full of goofiness and fluffy cuteness. Oh, and some more after-war angst, for good measure. Right, Wufei?Wufei: Don't resist! >.< Give into temptation!
He's sexy, right?
Onward! 
Chapter Four:
Spell of the Necromancer
Duo finished lacing his black combat boots and prepared to bolt out the door. It was the middle of the night and, as far as he knew, Hilde was fast asleep. He should have had no problem leaving their apartment undetected. Hilde, however, was wise to Duo?s late-night antics, which occurred far too often. Her voice stopped him short.
?Duo?? She emerged from her bedroom, rubbing her eyes. ?What the heck are you doing??
He turned to face her and grinned sheepishly. ?What do you know? The Preventers called me. I got an invitation to stay on the new ship and help them start planning the next one. See?? He waved a pile of papers at her. ?I got the blueprints right here.?
Hilde rolled her eyes. ?You?re over-explaining, as usual, which means something?s definitely up. Let me see those.? She snatched the blueprints out of his hands and examined them closely. ?These are the plans for the Aventinus, dummy, not a new ship.?
Duo shrugged. ?Guess they liked the original so much, they decided to make a copy.?
She let out an impatient sigh. ?No, see, that makes too much sense? and nothing you do ever makes sense, so I know you?re full of crap!? Hilde balled her fists at her sides. ?You?re sneaking off to go sleep at Keiko?s, aren?t you??
Duo chuckled. ?You?re talking crazy, Hilde-babe! Who the hell is Keiko??
?Don?t play innocent with me,? Hilde glowered. ?She?s that cute new Japanese exchange student in our econ class. Don?t tell me you haven?t noticed her??
?Nope.? Duo grinned broadly. ?Been too busy staring at you.?
?You mean copying my notes!? Hilde retorted. She peered at Duo closely. ?If you?re not heading out to cheat on me, then what are you really up to??
Duo sighed. ?Okay, you win. I really am going to the Aventinus, but not because I was invited; Heero needs me.?
Hilde waggled her eyebrows. ?Ah, so you are cheating on me!?
Duo shot her an incredulous look. ?Are you serious? You?re gonna start with the gay jokes now??
His girlfriend laughed sardonically. ?Don?t expect me to pass by a great opening like that. Now, what?s really going on with Heero? Didn?t you send him off to woo Relena, with flowers and all??
Duo leaned against the doorjamb and exhaled deeply, causing his bangs to blow off his forehead. ?Yeah, but there?s been a slight complication??
Hilde waited while Duo paused, tapping her foot impatiently. ?Well, what is it??
?Wufei beat him to it.?
Hilde?s eyes popped open in shock. ?Wufei? That angry martial arts guy?? She wrinkled her nose. ?How did he get to Relena first??
?Simple. He told her he liked her and kissed her.?
?Yeah, but didn?t Heero do that months ago? Last time I saw Relena, she was practically swooning!?
?He did, but Mr. Perfect Soldier never followed through with his sweet talk... which for him, was probably no more than, ?Relena??? Duo shook his head sagely, lamenting his friend?s blunder.
?Wow,? Hilde breathed, running a hand through her short, dark hair. ?Do you think Relena got sick of waiting for him??
?Could be. But don?t worry; I know how to get them back on track.? Duo held up a large black duffel bag, grinning like a child on Christmas morning.
Hilde looked anything but impressed. ?And what, exactly, is that supposed to be??
Duo gaped at her, exasperated. ?Come on, sweetheart! You?ve been with me long enough to recognize my bag of tricks when you see it.?
Hilde?s eyes went skyward. ?Right? that thing. So, what?s your master plan?? Duo just kept grinning and opened the bag, inviting Hilde to view its contents. She fished her hand around until she found something that caught her attention. To her chagrin, she produced a pair of metal handcuffs. She eyed Duo warily, but he just laughed gleefully and snapped them around her wrists.
?Isn?t it the best idea ever??
Hilde looked dismayed. ?Whatever you?re scheming, I know Heero?s going to hate it. And probably try to kill you for it.?
?Are you kidding me? He?ll thank me for the rest of his life.? Duo jangled the handcuffs as he removed them. You see, these babies are gonna get him laid!?
Hilde sighed dramatically. ?I was wrong; Relena?s going to kill you.?
?Not when she finds Heero cuffed to her bedpost! Or maybe her shower? Do you think the shower?s better? Ow!? Hilde had just smacked Duo on the side of his head.
?You pervert! Can?t you think of a better way to hook them up? Something less kinky??
?Aw, come on, Hilde! Even the perfect soldier and Princess prim-and-proper need a little R-rated fun!?
?Yeah, right,? Hilde interjected. ?What you have in mind is probably X-rated.?
?Hey, hey,? Duo said, holding his hands up in mock defense. ?It?s none of my business what they do with the handcuffs; I?m just introducing them to the concept. I doubt they?ll have any trouble getting creative. Oww!? Hilde landed another blow.
?You can?t just tell Heero to take Relena out to a romantic dinner or something? Why do you have to be so over-the-top??
?Because Wufei will probably try that kind of stuff before Heero works up the nerve. He needs to give her a message that?s powerful and direct. What?s better than, ?Hey baby, I?m here. Come and sex me!?? Hilde went to strike again, but Duo had the sense to dodge. ?Hey, darlin?, you?re edgy tonight! Maybe I should calm you down before I leave?? With that, Duo cupped Hilde?s face in his hands and kissed her full on the lips. She kissed him back but broke away scowling.
?Don?t think you can do that every time you get out of hand,? she scolded. ?I won?t forgive you that easily.?
Duo gave her an exaggerated pout. ?Come on, Hilde; don?t be mad. I?m just trying to help a friend here.?
?Yeah, by interfering,? she grumbled in response. ?Why can?t you leave them alone? I?m sure the two of them could work something out. If not, maybe it?s not meant to be.?
?But I can?t leave them alone; Heero?s dangerous left to his own devices! I hate to think of the disaster this will be if he goes it alone.?
Hilde laughed dryly. ?I have a feeling it will be a disaster, no matter what.?
?Aw, Hilde?? Duo placed his hands on her shoulders, gazing at her affectionately. ?Everything?s gonna work out fine. You just gotta have a little faith.?
She shook her head, bewildered. ?I doubt Heero or Relena will appreciate your meddling. Why can?t you just let them be? Maybe Relena really does want to be with Wufei.?
?Hah!? Duo?s staccato laugh rang throughout the small apartment. ?No way. For her, it?s Heero or nobody.?
?How do you know that?? Hilde poked him in the chest. ?Besides, why are you so hell-bent on keeping Wufei from Relena? What?d he ever do to you??
?No, it?s not like that,? Duo protested. ?I have nothing against the guy. But it?s clear that Heero belongs with Relena.?
Hilde rolled her eyes again, a practiced habit. ?Again, you can?t know that for sure. It?s beyond your control. I think,? she continued, thrusting her finger at Duo?s chest once more, ?that you?re just biased because Heero?s our roommate. You?re tired of seeing him sulk around. You probably want him to start dating so he doesn?t have to be our third wheel anymore.? She smiled and stepped back, satisfied with her analysis.
Duo scratched his chin thoughtfully. ?It?s true that I?m sick of seeing him act like a miserable old man. But there?s more to it than that.? He looked at Hilde imploringly. ?Heero loves Relena, Hilde. She alone has the ability to make him happy. And if I have the power to help Heero get that happiness, I won?t just stand idly by.?
Hilde opened her mouth to argue, but ended up relenting. ?All right? I won?t stop you,? she conceded. ?How long do you think this little escapade will take??
Her braided companion grinned and pulled her into a bear hug. ?I?m not coming back,? he murmured into her ear, ?until somebody gets laid.?
?Duo!? Hilde gasped. She leveled him with another smack. ?It?d better not be you!?
He laughed and kissed her forehead. ?You?re so cute when you?re jealous.
?You won?t think I?m so cute after I?ve murdered you in a jealous rage!?
?Don?t worry, okay?? He chuckled. ?I?ll be back in a few days at the most.?
Hilde gave him a mock scowl. ?Fine. But you and Keiko better send me a postcard!?
After gaining Hilde?s reluctant approval, Duo headed to a nearby space port to rent a small civilian shuttle. Heero had given him the coordinates of the Aventinus?s current location, and Duo was determined to reach the ship before morning. It took him a few hours roving through space before he found the ship, bound for the L3 colony cluster.
Most everyone onboard was sleeping when Duo arrived, save for a few crew members. Duo, who knew the ship like the back of his hand, had no trouble finding a vacant room to crash in. First, he decided to head to the kitchen, where he found Heero pacing.
Duo glanced at his watch. Five A.M. He suspected that Heero hadn?t bothered to go to bed yet. The amazing thing was that Heero always looked the same, no matter how much or how little sleep he had gotten. Duo chuckled as he made his way over to his friend.
?Let me guess?you?ve been up all night agonizing over this whole Relena thing, haven?t you??
Heero lowered his head. ?It?s bad,? he muttered. ?Nothing went according to plan. We need to do something? and fast.?
Duo began rummaging through the refrigerator. ?Well, we can?t do anything about it now, can we? Everyone?s asleep, and you should be, too. You?ll be able to think more clearly after you catch a few winks.?
?It doesn?t matter,? Heero grunted. ?Why sleep now when everyone will be up soon??
Duo stifled a yawn as he poured himself a glass of milk. ?They get up this early around here? Man. These Preventers must be working pretty hard.?
?I?ll say,? came a male?s voice from the doorway. Duo jumped, startled. Heero just casually lifted his head.
?Wufei,? he said tonelessly.
Wufei nodded at him, then turned to Duo. ?And what, exactly, brings you here so early in the morning??
Duo swallowed the remains of a donut. ?Why, I?m here to volunteer, of course.?
One of Wufei?s black eyebrows lifted. ?Don?t you have classes to attend??
?Pssh,? Duo said, waving a hand dismissively. ?Attending class is for goody-goodies. I?ll just get the notes from Hilde later,? Duo smirked, ?like Heero does.?
?Do you skip often?? Wufei directed the question to Heero.
Heero took a swig of water before muttering, ?Duty calls.?
Wufei opened his mouth to say more, but was interrupted by Sally entering the kitchen. She sashayed in wearing a blue silk bathrobe, her light brown hair tumbling over her shoulders in loose waves. In the midst of yawning, she failed to notice the boys until she opened her eyes.
?Oh!? She cried. She looked at the three young men?s faces, blinking. ?Um? Good morning, boys. What are you all doing up so early??
Wufei?s face was flushed red, and he was avoiding Sally?s gaze; however, he still felt obligated to answer her. ?You mean up late, in his case.? He jerked a thumb at Heero.
Sally?s almond-shaped eyes, still heavy with sleep, widened marginally. ?Is that true, Heero? You haven?t even gone to bed yet??
Heero appeared to be studying the water in his glass. ?I don?t need much sleep,? was all he said.
?It?s true,? Duo chimed in. ?The man?s amazing; he gets less sleep than anyone I know, and still manages to be all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed!?
Sally turned toward Duo, noticing him for the first time. ?Duo! I didn?t know you were coming. Are you here to help with the new plans??
?You bet, gorgeous!? He winked shamelessly. It cost him a hard nudge in the ribs from Wufei.
?Don?t talk to her like that,? he seethed. ?She?s your superior.?
?Ouch! Sorry,? Duo winced.
Sally laughed airily. ?It?s quite all right, Duo. I appreciate the compliment, especially since I just woke up and am hardly at my best. Speaking of which, I?m in desperate need of a strong cup of coffee.? She brushed past Duo to access the cabinet nearest the refrigerator, pulling out a can of coffee and paper filters. She hummed to herself as she scooped grounds into the coffee maker.
Duo caught Wufei staring at Sally unabashedly as she worked. There?s love in those eyes, he thought gleefully. How can Heero be so threatened by him? He?s obviously way into Sally. He made a mental note to point this out to Heero later.
As Sally made the coffee, Duo found himself faced with something he couldn?t stand?awkward silence. Wufei was staring at Sally, Heero was still staring into his glass, and Duo was stuck in the middle of it all. What to do? He asked himself. It was times like these when he decided that all there was left to do was sing.
Reaching for another donut, Duo belted, ?Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh, what a beautiful day!? He earned three faces staring at him in alarm, but continued undaunted. ?Come on, Heero! Do the whistling!?
?Shut up, Duo,? the dark-haired stoic replied.
?Fine, party-pooper.? Duo?s tenor rang out as he sang, ?I?ve got a wonderful feeling??
?Everything?s going my way,? a female voice finished in a soft soprano. Everyone?s attention swung to the door, where Relena stood, clad in a red silk kimono, her blonde hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. ?Good morning, everyone,? she said with a sweet smile. She was greeted with a smile from Sally, but the guys just stood there staring, jaws scraping the floor.
Heero recovered the fastest and cleared his throat. ?Relena,? he murmured by way of greeting.
She sent a dazzling smile his way. ?Heero,? she said back. Then she made her way over to Duo. ?Nice to see you again, Duo. How?s Hilde been??
?Hey, Rel!? Duo grabbed her and hugged her tight. This caught Relena off-guard, but she laughed delightedly. ?Hilde?s great!? Duo said as he released her. ?You should come to L2 more often so we can all hang out? me, Hilde, you and Heero?? He winked at Heero, who said nothing; yet his eyes spoke volumes as he gazed steadily at Relena. Wufei looked slightly alarmed at the insinuation.
?I?m sorry I haven?t been able to visit lately,? Relena said to Duo. ?Maybe after this I can make a stop there before I head back to earth.?
?What will you do when you?re on earth?? Wufei finally spoke up, stepping closer to Relena. Duo noticed Heero bristling. He, too, crossed the room, but bypassed Relena to pour himself a steaming cup of coffee.
?I hope you like it strong, Heero,? Sally said with a grin.
?Hn.? Heero began sipping it black.
?Well,? Relena was answering Wufei, ?I have some public appearances to make, and then I?ll be having a party for my birthday in early April.?
?Party, eh? How come you didn?t say anything about that before?? Duo asked. ?We?ll have to do something special for you. As I recall, last year?s birthday was pretty uneventful, right? All you got was a teddy bear from some guy???
Relena giggled as Heero turned red. ?Funny, Duo,? he sneered.
?You don?t have to worry about my birthday, Duo, really,? Relena said, still giggling. ?And the party?s hardly going to be anything fun; it?s really only for PR. A bunch of politicians are going to be there, so I?ll be playing hostess.? She rolled her eyes.
?If you let me in,? Duo said, his eyes gleaming, ?I?ll find a way to liven things up.?
?That?s probably not a good idea, Duo,? Wufei broke in. ?I doubt the guests would appreciate your gate-crashing.?
Duo pouted. ?It wouldn?t be crashing if I was invited!?
Relena stifled a laugh. ?If you really want to come, I can arrange it; but I guarantee you?ll be bored to tears. We?d be better off just doing something fun together after the big event.?
?Yeah?? Duo looked encouraged. ?You mean it??
?Sure,? Relena said with a shrug.
?All right, then? I?ll start planning the party of the century!? Duo grinned slyly as he helped himself to a third donut.
Wufei just shook his head and began searching for some breakfast in the refrigerator.
?Don?t bother Relena with future plans, Duo,? Heero growled from behind his coffee mug. ?She?s too busy for that sort of thing.?
?Oh, really?? Relena moved closer to Heero. He edged backward until he was against the counter, looking hesitant; Relena only looked amused. ?I make time for people,? she said, ?who are willing to make time for me.? She looked at Heero pointedly. He blinked.
?Relena,? he began. ?I just??
?Well, I certainly have time on my hands today,? Wufei interrupted. He smiled warmly at Relena, but to Heero, it was a chilling gesture. ?Is there anything in particular you?d like to see while you?re onboard with us??
?You have a real opportunity to see the inner-workings of the Preventers,? Sally spoke up, stirring creamer into her coffee. ?We?ve got new recruits starting today.? She turned to Heero and Duo. ?Want to help me train ?em??
?Train? Am I allowed to do that?? Duo asked, scratching the back of his head. ?I?m not even a full-fledged Preventer.?
?You?re a former Gundam pilot,? Relena said assuredly. ?I?m sure anything you can teach new recruits will be invaluable to them.? She beamed at Sally. ?I would love to meet the new recruits and observe their training, if that?s possible.?
?Of course it is! I?m sure they?ll be thrilled to be able to meet the Vice Foreign Minister, as well,? said Sally.
?Oh, dear,? Relena said with a light laugh. ?In that case, I?ll try to be discreet. I wouldn?t want to get in the way.?
?You won?t be,? Wufei said kindly. ?There?s a monitor room I can take you where you can watch the training without being seen yourself. Afterward, you can meet with the recruits, if you?d like.?
Relena touched her hand on Wufei?s arm and gazed at him affectionately. ?Really? That sounds perfect!?
Wufei?s eyes locked with hers. ?As you wish,? he said softly. Relena blushed.
Heero scowled. ?That?s my line,? he muttered.
?Huh?? Relena whipped her head toward Heero. ?What did you say??
He took a slow sip of coffee before answering her. ?I said that sounds fine,? he lied.
?You?ll help with the training, won?t you, Heero?? Sally addressed him.
He nodded curtly. ?Whatever you say. I?m gonna go get ready.? Heero made his way to the door. Duo swallowed one last donut before bounding off after him.
?Catch ya later, Wufei!? He called, waving. ?And I?ll see you around, lovely ladies.?
Relena laughed as Duo exited. ?It?s so nice to be here with all of you. Thanks again for letting me stay.?
?It?s our pleasure,? Wufei said, bowing his head.
Sally smirked at him from behind her coffee cup. ?Yeah? pleasure,? she purred. Wufei shot daggers at her with his eyes, begging her to keep quiet. She winked at him in compliance. Once again, Relena noticed the rapport between them but chose to stay out of it. She must have a crush on him, she thought. Will she be angry when she finds out that Wufei and I kissed?
?Training begins at eight o?clock sharp,? Sally was saying, ?so you have about two and a half hours yet.?
?Wow,? Relena exclaimed. ?I didn?t realize it was so early! I?m not used to having so much leisure time in the morning.?
?Would you? care for some breakfast?? Wufei implored. His dark eyes searched hers, and Relena could see the fear and nervousness he was trying to suppress. So who does he like more? She wondered. Me, or Sally?
?I would love some,? Relena replied.
?Good. I?ve got a recipe for hash I?ve been waiting to try.? Wufei rummaged through a drawer and pulled out mixing bowls, a skillet, spatula, and apron.
Sally grinned as she caught the stunned look on Relena?s face. ?You didn?t know he could cook, did you,? she observed. ?He?s a pretty mean chef.?
?Was that an attempt at a pun, Sally?? Wufei jibed. ?What were you going to say next? That I whip the cream and beat the eggs??
Sally laughed warmly. ?No, but that was pretty cute, Wufei. I?m sure you?ve impressed Relena with your quick wit and charm.? She rolled her eyes good-naturedly. ?Well, have fun. I hear the shower calling my name.? Sally refilled her coffee cup, then swept out of the room.
Wufei added butter to the skillet and fired up the stove. ?So, what would you like? Can I make you an omelet??
Relena smiled, leaning against the counter. ?To be honest, I?m not much of a breakfast-eater. I usually just grab coffee on my way to morning meetings.?
?I figured as much. But you?re sort of on vacation now, so I think it?s acceptable to indulge a little.? Wufei pulled a carton of eggs out of the refrigerator. ?Come on,? he urged softly. He gave Relena a small smirk as he leaned closer. ?Give into temptation.?
Relena?s breath caught in her throat as Wufei brought his face mere inches from hers. She thought about the way Sally and Wufei teased each other, and the heated conversation she?d had with Heero the night before. Everything was already so complicated; should she risk getting romantically involved with Wufei?
Before she could make up her mind, he broke away, turning back to the stove. ?How do you like your eggs?? He asked. ?Let me guess?sunny side up?? He gave her a genuine smile, and her heart flipped over.
He?s so different than how I originally pictured him, she realized. Under that warrior?s exterior, he?s a real sweetheart. That?s the way I always thought Heero was? Could I have been wrong about him, too?
She realized too late that she was staring at Wufei; he caught her gaze and held it.
?Um?? She cleared her throat. ?Sunny side up is fine.? She tried to control the heat rising up her neck.
Wufei nodded and got to work on the eggs. ?You know,? he murmured. ?You look really good in Asian clothing.? He gestured to her kimono. ?It looks like it was made for you.?
Relena smiled, sweeping a loose strand of hair off her forehead. ?That?s because it was; the prime minister of Japan presented it to me the last time I was there.?
?Oh?? Wufei quirked an eyebrow. ?When was that??
?You?re going to laugh,? Relena said, her eyes sparkling.
?No, I won?t,? Wufei said as he flipped the eggs with his spatula. ?When was it??
?Back when I was queen.?
Wufei smirked. ?Now there?s a sentence you don?t hear everyday. Though I suppose the longer I?m around you, the more I?ll get used to hearing things like that.?
Relena stiffened. ?Listen, Wufei. About that??
?About what?? He turned from his cooking to give her his full attention.
?This? thing between us??
Wufei let the spatula drop in the skillet. ?This thing? I?m afraid I don?t follow you.?
Relena took a deep breath and step closer to him. ?The truth is? I really like you. And I?m glad we have a chance to get to know each other.?
Wufei?s brow furrowed. ?I feel the same. So what?s the problem??
?I just want to be sure we?re not jumping into anything blindly? I don?t know if I?m ready to be in a relationship with someone.?
?Neither do I,? Wufei intoned. ?You don?t have to worry about me pushing you into anything, if that?s what this is about.?
She shook her head frantically. ?That?s not it at all! It?s just that, if you want to get involved with me, I think you have a right to know what you?re getting into.? She lowered her gaze to the floor. ?You see? Recently I?ve been trying to get over someone I?ve been attached to for the past few years.?
?Oh.? Wufei nodded in understanding. ?You just broke up with a boyfriend??
Relena?s cheeks turned red. ?Not?exactly. There was someone I was pretty infatuated with, but he didn?t seem to return my feelings. He actually started to kiss me once or twice, but never followed through.? She shook her head sadly. ?I couldn?t be with someone who would jerk my heartstrings like that, so I decided to get over him.? She twisted a strand of hair around her fingers. ?But that?s proving to be easier said than done.?
?Well?? Wufei set down his cooking utensils and placed his hands on Relena?s shoulders. ?I?ve been trying to get over Meiran?s death, but that?s proving to be impossible.? He tilted her chin up with his hands, gazing at her sympathetically. ?But sometimes you can?t force yourself to get over something. Your heartache is like the war that just ended; you?re not ever going to forget what it was like watching the final battle, are you?? Relena shook her head, and Wufei continued. ?You can?t expect yourself to forget your pain. All you can do is accept it as part of you, and let it make you stronger.? He stroked her cheek gently. ?I know there?s a lot of strength in you; don?t let this guy you?re talking about weaken you.?
Relena fought back tears, nodding resolutely. ?You?re right. It?s time I put the past behind me.?
Before she could say anything else, Wufei brushed his lips against hers. This time, there were no interruptions.
He needs love, too! But I guess you can see what my pairing leanings are. This is my first foray into alternate pairings, and I just can't keep Heero and Relena apart. 
You'll just have to wait and see who Relena chooses in the end. 
Er, come to think of it, the only person who doesn't get near her is Wufei... so this story makes up for it! 
we love a man that can cook. Eggs are a good sign 
But I'm sure she would like to think so! 
Okay, so a confrontation like that probably isn't in the story's future... At least, I hope not.
But I'm just getting started!