All I Can't Have Ch.4

[fallen dove]

<b>All I Can't Have
Chapter 4</b>

Heero awoke from dark, lewd dreams of Relena. Relena soaked, scared? her dress falling from her. Without knowing why, Heero could feel her hot, soft flesh against his own rough hands, and then he remembered.
Shooting up from his bed, Heero left his room wearing nothing but the plain plaid boxers he had gone to sleep in. Before he could stop himself he was at Relena?s door, knocking more harshly than he meant. There was no answer.
?Relena!? he called, just loud enough for the occupant of the room to hear him. No answer. Pacing, Heero produced his cell phone, the origins of which will never be fully understood, and dialed Cass?s number.
?Good morning, Heero!? cried molten sunshine.
?Has Relena left the manor?? He asked. Heero could have just as easily called his own security team, but he did not feel like going through all the channels. He just wanted the answer to one question, and Cass could answer him.
?Um, yes she did. I had thought she was leaving a bit early but she said she had a breakfast date. Oh, I wonder if it?s with President James?! Oh that is just to excit-?
Heero hung up on her.
Moving slowly back to his room and shutting the door, Heero replayed the night?s events in once again in his mind. His hand burned, and her face would not leave his eyes.
?Jesus?? he muttered, surprised and angry with himself for what he had done. There was no excuse, none at all. What she must think of him! <I>What the hell is wrong with me?</I>

James listened to Relena?s edited account of the mystery man at her window and the calls with a stunned silence. When she had finished she fell back upon the couch, melting into it. Relena did not feel her best at all, and, unfortunatly, it showed.
Relena had rushed out that morning, throwing her hair up without washing it, and simply threw on the first suit she could find- a rather large one that made her look old and dumpy. But despite all this, she was still a beautiful woman; James gaze told her so.
?My God, Relena, how have you dealt with all this? What has your security team said? Have they not caught this freak?? James said, his eyes full of the concern they held last night. He grasped a hold of her hands. Relena looked guiltily away.
?My? my security team knows nothing. I haven?t told them about any of it,? <I>Except Heero.</I> But Relena suppresses this thought, his name hurting her to even think it. Here sat a man, a kind, generous, intelligent, handsome man who looked at her not with contempt, not even with lust, but with pure, undiluted concern. Heero- she pushed the whole thought concerning him from her head.
?What! Relena, how could you have not informed your people?! They might have been able to catch this stalker last night!?
Relena stuttered, a testament to her weakening constitution. ?I?I had just thought it was some lonely, poor man looking to make a few prank calls. I thought he would stop?? her voice trailed off.
?Relena?? James half scolded as he shook his head. Releasing her hands he stood and moved over to his phone. Relena looked up.
?What are you doing?? she asked sharply.
James looked at her, surprised. ?Calling your security team. They need to know, and you?re going to tell them.?
Relena stood, taking the phone from him and putting it back down, cutting off James? secretary. ?No, please, I can?t talk to, ? <I>Heero</I> ?them,? she finished unconvincingly. James picked the phone back up.
?Do you wish me to tell them?? he asked, his eyes taking hold of hers.
Relena, usually so strong- so sure of herself, simply nodded and sank back onto the couch. What was wrong with her?
?Yes, hello. This is James Turner. Yes. Yes, I am calling in regards to Miss Relena Darlian. She has informed me of some? trouble?? Relena closed her eyes to ignore the rest of what he said. He was babying her, treating her like a precious child in danger of hurting herself if left to her own defenses. Relena had always hated this attitude, especially from men in regards to her, but she was just simply to tired to argue. And from James, it was rather nice.
When he finished he put down the phone and moved back to the couch with Relena. ?Your head of security will be here shortly,? he said, brushing a strand of loose hair from her paling face.
?He what?? Relena said, barely disguising the rise in her voice. James looked at her, puzzled.
?He is coming, says he wants a full account from your lips. I?m sorry, Relena, but you are going to have to tell your men what is going on. But? I can stop him, talk to him myself if you need me, too.? James said, grasping her hand tightly once again.
Relena?s eyes flicked to the clock. ?Oh God, the meeting is starting in 5,? she said with a groan. James didn?t hesitate.
?We can miss it, I am the President and you are the Vice Foreign Minister, after all,?
?And that is exactly why we <I>can?t</I> miss it,? Relena said as-a-matter-of-factly, in the manner which she usually spoke. James seemed a bit relieved at this return in attitude. ?Or, at least, not both of us. You go; James, and I will get there after I inform He-? she still couldn?t say his name. ?The head of my security.?
?But Relena-? he began, Relena cut him off as she stood, pulling him up along with her.
?I am not a child, I am sorry if I have given you that impression. I did not get much sleep last night; one of you at the meeting will be better than the both of us while I am in this state,?
James grinned. ?You know, my dear, that almost sounds like an insult,?
Relena pushed him playfully. ?It will be if you don?t get to that meeting! If I don?t get there for a bit, can you bring up those topics we discussed at our last actual meeting??
?But Relena, those are your ideas and all that-?
?It?s fine, just go!? Relena ordered as she walked him to the door and nearly pushed him out of it.
?My secretary will show Heero to this room, you can sit at my desk if you want!? He called back as he moved of towards the elevator. Yes, the elevator-he was the President after all. <I>Well, as long as a secretary is leading the way, Heero will have no trouble following.</I> Relena thought bitterly as she turned, heading towards the desk. And then, thinking better of it, she took a seat in one of the two chairs sitting just in front of it.
She didn?t have to wait long.
Somehow, she felt Heero?s eyes lock on her even before he opened the door. And when he finally did, the Prussian blue?s narrowed to a point, Relena felt herself quiver. Not wanting to appear the meek one, she stood and met his gaze with both her feet firmly planted on the ground. What had happened the night before flashed through both of their minds, the room crackled with furious electricity. Relena hating Heero, Heero hating himself.
But there was no time for that now, Heero told himself. He crossed his arms across his chest and stared at her. If he didn?t cross them he would have run across the room and slapped her. Why was it she only raised the two most annoying emotions in him? Anger and l- he forced himself not to finish the thought.
?Why didn?t you tell me?? He said simply, monotonously. Relena scoffed.
?You didn?t believe me, remember?? she said, attempting to match his tone but failing. She felt like a bad child being chastised by her father; she didn?t like this archetypical situation one bit.
?I would have taken the apparition seriously if I had been informed about the calls.?
?I thought you traced all of my home phone calls?? she asked accusingly, as if it were his fault, the whole thing.
?Our tracers showed that you called out to a payphone, not that it called you. And we can?t trace your cell phone, we made sure that no one could trace that.? He informed her.
?But I called no one!? Why did he portray no emotion, none at all? How dare he be so composed after?after?
?And the cell phone, why was I not informed??
?Maybe you would have been if you hadn?t been off screwing my secretary!? Relena shouted before she could stop herself. Once again she found her own hands clamping over her mouth, a child saying a naughty word and then attempting to use force to reverse what was said.
Now this did get a reaction from the ever-impassive Heero.
His eyes flashing, Heero moved as if her were going to rush forward. Relena fell against the desk. Heero had stopped himself mid-step, placing his feet back together. He kept his arms at his sides, his face dark; unreadable.
?What I do in my personal time is no concern of yours, Miss Darlian. However, everything in your life pertaining to your security and the security of those who work for you is a concern of <I>mine</I>,? Heero said, neither affirming nor dissenting her accusation.
At his refusal to even justify her claim with anger or showing any extended emotion at all, Relena resigned herself to the inevitable and dropped her gaze, giving up. Heero was as he always was, concerned for her safety but not for her. She had been trying, God knows she had, but it was just to much for her to handle anymore. Bringing her gaze back up, she stared at him, devoid of all emotion herself.
?I?m sorry, all right. I didn?t say anything about the calls because I thought it was just some stupid prank. It might still be-?
?That?s not for you to decide,? Heero interrupted her.
Relena bit back her own snappy defense; he was not making resignation easy.
?So what are you going to do about all this?? she asked, getting nowhere fast in their new form of unfeeling communication.
?Tonight, after you finish up with everything, you will come home to find your personal line removed from your room. It will be in the data room, waiting for the ?freak? to call. You are to come straight home when you have finished with the days meetings and you are not to go out, for any reason, unless it is a business call.?
Relena grumbled, she couldn?t help herself. ?Anything else, mother??
Heero thought for a moment. He held out a hand. ?Give me your phone,?
<I>My phone!?</I> she mentally shouted. But Relena pulled it from her pocket anyway, handing it over.
?Once he calls, it could be possible to identify his voice. That is all. Have a pleasant day, Miss Darlian,? Heero said, turning from her and leaving the room. Relena had a strange, almost unbelievable hunch that Heero Yuy, the human robot, had enjoyed that five-minute lecture.

Relena had almost forgotten what it was like to be coddled, and she still hated it. The entire day Lance, Heero?s favorite new lackey, had all but sewed himself to Relena?s hip. She could go nowhere alone, except the bathroom, of course. By the end of the day, Relena had taken so many ?potty stops? just to rid herself of him that the man must think she has a condition.
The meetings were almost just as bad, or they would have been had it been anyone other than James who babied her. In each meeting they shared, Relena got to enjoy a few silent hours while James announced and defended his and her own plans and ideas. It was quite strange, seeing Relena, renowned for her way with words, to be sitting by while someone talked for her. It irked Relena only a little, after all, James had good intentions. She would let him play her knight in shining armor for one day alone.
By evening, Relena was simply exhausted by doing nothing; sawdust filled her veins. Entering her manor, after accepting a quick peck on the cheek from James, Relena looked around for something to <I>do</I>. Relena passed by Cass?s desk, it was empty. Hating herself for doing so, Relena began wandering if Heero was gone, too.
<I>?I will protect you, I promise,?</I>
Relena bit back feeling as his words hit her, words of an emotionless boy who she had lov- <I>No! I will not think about him!</I>
Relena headed up towards her room, stopping as she saw Heero began to head down the stairs. Relena didn?t pause for a moment, she only rushed passed him. He had been wearing a t-shirt, a dark army green, and jeans. He wasn?t ?on the job?, he was going out with her again. Her protection no longer came first, maybe it never did.
But why had he touched her the night before? Why had he held her like that unless he cared for her at least a little? Or maybe, just maybe, he wasn?t getting what he wanted from Cass. Disgusted with herself, Relena ran the rest of the way up to her room, throwing herself on the bed. <I>Well, good job, Relena. You have now gone from infant to whiny teenager. I am so proud.</I>
Relena rolled over on the bed, something crinkling beneath her. It was a note, folded once with no name upon it. She picked it up and opened it, a familiar handwriting, small and neat, read, ?I?m sorry,?

[samta22]

You are killing me... this is so good!!!!

Now I know why I like and hate suspense ...

[Aristale Wolf]

Now I know why I like and hate suspense ...

gggggggggrrrrrrrrr......i know those sentiments exactly.....this is way to good for you not to add more.....its gettin to the good part...i can just feel it....hehehehe

[fallen dove]

Thank you for all your comments on this and the previous chapters. The quality in this one, I'm sorry to say, is not up to my best but I do hope everyone is able to muddle through it. This chapter was a bit rushed, I might even rewrite it for ya'll when I get the chance.

Now I know why I like and hate suspense ...

^_^

[HiFreak]

Relena rolled over on the bed, something crinkling beneath her. It was a note, folded once with no name upon it. She picked it up and opened it, a familiar handwriting, small and neat, read, ?I?m sorry,?

I cried when I read this. I was just thinking what a morron Heero is and that maybe he doesn't deserve her. I was just getting really mad and ready to kill Heero my self. Then you had to go ahead and write this!
Please continue so I can decide to kill Heero or not.

[takisha16]

The suspense is literally killing me!
What is going on in Heero's head?! He is seriously an insane unfeeling robot!!!
I hope James has nothing to do with what is going on, I have a feeling that that
he does for some strange reason. :-?
Relena must feel like shit right now! I hope she temporarily moves on from Heero.
This seriously pissed me off:

?Jesus?? he muttered, surprised and angry with himself for what he had done. There was no excuse, none at all. What she must think of him! What the hell is wrong with me?

Why doesn't he find out why he did that by talking it over with Relena instead of
acting like a computer! jajajaja

?Maybe you would have been if you hadn?t been off screwing my secretary!? Relena shouted before she could stop herself. Once again she found her own hands clamping over her mouth, a child saying a naughty word and then attempting to use force to reverse what was said.

BURNNNNN...that was really mean!
And then Heero calls her Miss Darlian, oh he makes me so mad! :x
Update soon!

[Aeris_Eithne]

Gwaaaaaaahhh!!! I'm dying here! I know you're doing your best to get these chapters out, and I appreciate it.... but I need to know what the hey is going on with Heero and Cass! Right now I want to kill both of them, and it's just not a happy feeling! You've done a great job building suspense... it seems like all your readers are on the edges of their proverbial seats. You should pat yourself on the back!

I do have one little nitpicky thing to point out... I know you said you rushed and will probably rewrite this later, so please be sure that there's agreement between your tenses. My advice is to use present tense only when exploring your characters' individual thoughts; otherwise, everything should be past tense. I don't want to be the editing Nazi here, because I love your writing and can't wait to read more of this story.

[fallen dove]

Thank you, Aeris. Don't be so scared to "nitpick", I need it. I see exactly what you mean, I do the "switch tense" thing usually when I am writing as fast as I can to keep up with the story in my mind. That's why I wanted to rewrite this one, I didn't even edit it before posting!
Thanks again to you, Aeris, and everyone for your complements and critiques, see you in a few days!

[star fighter]

I'm very curious to know what's happenning. Heero confuses me. I don't know if I want Relena to kiss him or slap him. Keep up the great work

[amulak]

Ugh, poor Relena being babied all day. I can totally feel her frustration. Heero- hurry up and get a grip, although the I'm sorry note was nice
Excellent- Keep going!!