Fall to Ashes (Chapter 2) - by Coley Merrin

[miaka mouse]

Desert Bloom...thank you so much for reviewing! I'm so glad you thought it was IC, and I really appreciate your comments. :0) Hope you enjoy this next chapter as well!

***


Last chapter: Relena is hospitalized after nearly giving her all to her
job. Heero has stood by her throughout, and now that she is well again, he
refuses to watch her return to her selflessness.

***

Fall to Ashes

Chapter 2

***

There's a love inside us
Deep down inside
That goes without saying
Don't say a word
But I'll tell you just the same
And that love will fan the flame
And that flame will warm the heart that's waiting

-Somewhere Somehow -- Michael W. Smith & Amy Grant

***


They were so alike in that respect, and it occurred to him that she knew it.
The sense of having no direction, it was in her eyes. He knew nothing of
family and home, and Relena nothing but work and diplomacy. He a soldier,
she a princess, both torn from their places and thrown together in a puzzle
that to his mind was just taking shape.

***

Heero watched as Relena paced through her office, her face a mask of
concentration. It pleased him to see that her color was back, and she'd
almost regained all of the weight she had lost. A one hundred percent
recovery was definitely in sight. When she got tired, and her face became
shadowed, he wanted to grab her and take her to the nearest doctor. Every
time it was just fatigue and he would nag with his eyes until she relented.
This office wouldn't be hers for much longer, all of her personal items and
papers would be moved into an office at her private residence so if her help
was required it would be close at hand.

She didn't want to leave the room, that much was obvious. Plain and simple,
Relena was stalling. Moving about the office, she rechecked the plants to
see if they needed water, or flipped through her file cabinets, grabbing
more files to add to her already enormous stack. Her whole way of life for
the past few years was about to disappear. The way he saw it her future
would be a lot brighter if she wasn't stuck in this public imposed rut. He'd
waited for weeks to put his plan in motion, and there had never been a right
time. But now...now the opportunity seemed to open up in front of him.

"Relena?" he questioned softly from his place near the door, seeking her
attention.

"Yes, Heero?" Relena stopped, looking up at him expectantly.

For a moment the words seemed to stick in his throat, but he fought against
his instinctual urge to just shut up and protect himself.

"What are your dreams?" he forced out.

She paused, letting his question sink in. Heero wasn't one for
conversation, so for him to come out and ask such a loaded question threw
her completely off balance. Looking back at the pile of folders she was
straightening, she answered him.

"Trying to help so that there are no more wars, marrying the man I love, and
starting a family. Being happy. Why do you ask?"

"Relena..."

She could feel the heat pouring off his body and across her side. When had
he gotten so close? When had that 'I'm not taking no for an answer' look
crept into his eyes? Breathing became harder when he moved closer to her,
leaning down beside her ear.

"Look at me. Do you love me?" His whispered tones tickled the soft hairs
near the back of her neck.

"Heero?" she asked, confusion coloring her voice. What was happening?

He took a step back. "Am I the man you love, who you want to start a family
with?"

"Heero, I..."

"I just need an answer, ok?" he asked in a sharp voice . Heero cut through
the air with his hands as if he wanted to wave away her words. "I'll
understand either way."

"I just don't want to put you under any pressure."

"You remember who you're talking to."

"Er...yes." She took a deep breath. It was hard to escape his eyes. They
were just too focused on her. Oh, she wanted them to be all right, but she'd
hoped it wouldn't be quite so...unnerving. That almost made her laugh. When
was Heero *not* unnerving? She looked into the Prussian blue eyes that had
haunted her dreams for years, searching for some sign. If he had looked
uninterested, she wouldn't have answered. But while he wasn't the picture
of shining anticipation, he wasn't indifferent either.

"You have been for a long time, Heero," she answered truthfully. "The only
one."

Her eyes begged him not to hurt her. Oh, how he wanted that to be possible.
He reached out and cupped her face with his hand, reading the surprise, and
pleasure, that came because of his action.

"Do you trust me?" he asked in a softer tone. A tone that had Relena
wondering when she'd fallen, hit her head and woke up on a different planet.

There was no hesitation in her response. "I trust you with my life."

"And your heart. Something so very..." he seemed at a loss for words, "
precious. Look how I've treated that."

"Some things you can't help," she protested, still trying to read his eyes
while forgiving him in that one statement.

"Some things you can change."

Heero took hold of her left hand, his eyes never leaving her face as he
watched recognition play on in her features as she realized he was pressing
something into her palm. It was a simple gold band adorned only by a
delicate golden rose.

"Heero..." her voice was small.

"Would you..." he swallowed. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. "Relena,
would you marry me?"

"I don't know what to say," Relena admitted, lifting her eyes from the ring
in her hand to meet his gaze.

"Yes would be a start."

Relena searched his eyes, amazed again at how close he was standing to her.
Surely this was a dream and in a minute she would wake up, and all would be
normal. Her job would be waiting for her, and the world would proceed as
always. It was hard to reach out and not pinched herself, just to make sure
everything was real. But as she clutched the ring in her hand, it was clear
to her that she knew which she would prefer.

"Is that a joke?" she asked haltingly.

"Did it sound like one?"

Damn him for being so...so...breathe, Relena, she told herself.

"Heero, you made a joke."

"So," he crossed his arms across his chest, a stubborn expression toying
with the corners of his eyes.

Relena had to stifle the giggle that rose in the back of her throat. "Are
you going to be like this for the rest of your life?"

"Maybe. You..." he hesitated, "you could change me."

The playful mood was pushed aside as their conversation became serious
again. "I love you as you are. But I've never really seen you like this
before, it's a side you've never let me see before."

"We could see them together," he mumbled.

"Yes."

The word dawned on both of them before Relena knew she had spoken. There
really was no question whether she wanted to or not. It took all she had to
keep herself from leaping into his arms and shouting it to the whole world.

"Yes...what?"

"Yes, we could. Yes, I'll marry you. Yes, yes."

He didn't smile, couldn't smile, but she had a feeling he was on the inside.

***

Heero didn't want to be standing at Duo's door. He didn't want to knock;
didn't want to watch the door open and Duo greet him. He wanted something
to drink, preferably something cold, possibly alcoholic, and a book maybe.
Yeah, a book was nice. Books were safe, and comfortable. Books did not smile
at you and ask silly questions.

The door opened anyway.

Duo paused when his gaze landed on Heero standing on his doorstep. It took
a moment to hide the initial shock and play it off as if having Heero show
up at his door was an everyday occurrence. He took a good glance at his
friend, noting the troubled look he was trying to hide in his eyes. If he
asked too many questions too soon Heero might be inclined bolt and run.
Heero was funny that way, but still they seemed to get along.

"Heero! Come on in. Have a seat," he invited, stepping back to let him in.

Eyeing Duo as he entered, Heero walked passed him and into the living room
before he sat cautiously on the couch, allowing himself to relax slightly.

"Thanks."

Heero could almost smell the curiosity coming off of Duo. If Duo got any
more complex he'd need a dictionary just to figure him out. Wiggly as a
puppy waiting for a toy to be thrown one minute, and dead serious the next.
Tender and "friendly" with Hilde (though everyone knew they should be more)
and then rough and tumble, one of the guys.

"What's up?" Duo asked as he took a chair across from Heero, noticing the
other man's discomfort. It had to be big all right; big enough for him to
run to Uncle Duo for help. It was always satisfying to him for Heero,
someone he'd come to trust, to display a mutual trust in *him.*

Heero shifted subtly, noticeable only to him.and to Duo's too-shrewd eyes.
It was hard enough to do this without having someone who knew you too well
analyzing your every move.

"What makes you ask that?" Heero asked, attempting a casual tone of voice.

Duo smirked and pretended to look thoughtful for a moment.

"Let's see...you at my place.." Duo tapped his lower lip, wondering how long
to drag it on, "yeah, there's definitely something up."

For the last time, Heero steeled himself into saying the words. The notion
itself was no longer scary unless he thought about it in depth, but he had
blocked himself from that once his decision had been made. The thought of
saying it aloud outside of the presence of Relena, however, was terrifying.

"Relena and I are getting married."


He watched with mild interest as Duo had to spit his drink back into the
glass to keep from choking.

"What?" Duo gasped between coughs. "What did you say?"

That, Heero pondered, had been much more satisfying than it had been scary.

"I think you heard me," he said unable to resist the tiny inflection of a
smug tone.

Shaking his head, Duo continued to deny that he had heard *those* words come
from Heero's mouth. "No, no, see I'm going deaf and I didn't know it
before now," Duo put his hand up in a "stop" gesture. "You did *not* just
say you and Relena are getting married."

Heero did nothing but stare at him, his silence speaking volumes. Duo's
mouth dropped when the reality hit him. Heero looked altogether too
un-confidant for it to be a joke.

"You *are* serious!"


"What gave you the impression that I wasn't?"


"I thought maybe you'd hit your head or something." He paused and turned
back to his friend. All the shock had disappeared and his curiosity was
back in full swing. "When did you ask her?"

"Yesterday," Heero answered simply.


"Aw, Heero," Duo said, with his hands over his heart, "And you're just
telling me now? You set a date yet?"


Heero didn't hesitate with his response. "Tomorrow." He silently counted
off the seconds, waiting for Duo, who was lost within his brain, to catch
that one.

"Oh, that's nice..." Duo hadn't paid much attention to that last part. His
brain was already racing forward to thinking how Hilde was going to react to
the news. "Tomorrow what?"

Heero smirked. Just like he thought. "Tomorrow is the date."


"You asked her *yesterday,* and you're getting married tomorrow?" Duo asked,
once again at the mercy of Heero's little information bombs.


"Yes."


"Kind of short notice? And she agreed? Well, obviously since the date is
tomorrow. I thought girls wanted all those frills that take months to plan,"
Duo shuddered in the middle of his ramble, "but tomorrow works..."

"We appreciate your consent."

Heero's tone didn't indicate appreciation. In fact, Duo narrowed his eyes,
if he didn't know any better, the ex-soldier across from him was enjoying
keeping him off balance.

"You must be pretty excited about it," Duo observed, ""I mean you're here
telling me after all. All we need is one of those pointy party hats, and
you'd look downright festive."

"I'm not here to be festive," Heero said, now ready to get down to business.
"We want you and Hilde to be the witnesses. I wouldn't be here at all but
she said it was polite to ask in person."

Duo leaned his chin on his fist as he took that in. "Polite, huh? I guess
miracles really do happen." Casting aside his normal buoyant self, Duo
became serious and regarded the man across from him with assessing eyes.
"So what brought this on, Heero? Why ask her now?"

The million dollar question. In some way Heero dreaded telling Duo the
truth, but he had known it would come to this. It occurred to him that he
was seeking Duo's approval.or if not that, then at least his acceptance.
When had he come to rely on the other man almost like a conscience? It was a
scary thought.

"There's been talk of people trying to pressure her into a political
marriage. It's a possibility that I may be called away for a time, and I
won't be here to keep these people from leaning on her too hard. It seemed
like the best thing to do."

All traces of his previous smiles had slipped from Duo's face. Worry and
just a touch of anger had crept into his eyes, as well as his voice. "So
you lied to her to get her to marry you so she could be safe from pressure
while you're gone?"

Heero winced. The thoughts he had suppressed tended to follow the path Duo
had just led them down. "I never," he stated firmly, "lied to her."

"Never?" The expression on Duo's face was hard, focused, and in some way
comforting. Duo cared enough to help and protect his own. "Let's review
Heero...you asked her to marry you, a huge step for someone like yourself, a
step one normally equates with *love* and I didn't hear you mention that
little fact in your reasons."

"That isn't relevant."

"The hell it isn't!" Duo practically shouted, jumping from his chair to
pace. "She loves you, you idiot! For reasons unknown to mankind. And she
obviously thinks you love her! Are you trying to kill her *again*?"

Heero blinked.

"Again?"

Duo sat back down hard, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You have no idea, do you? It will crush her to know you married her only to
keep her politically safe. You're planning on going through with the whole
thing, the wedding night and everything?"

"If I didn't she might begin to wonder," Heero pointed out.

"I don't believe you. I don't even know the person I'm talking to. To think
I actually thought you cared..."

The niggling seed of fear and doubt that Duo had planted began to fade. What
he said now would be the difference between Duo's peace of mind, and him
continuing to attack Heero like a mother bear protecting her young.

"I never said I didn't care," Heero said carefully. "If I get called away,
if I have to leave and I came back to find her married to someone else...I
don't know what I would do. I don't want to take that chance."

"You'd rather leave her hear pining after you," Duo shook his head. "She
would anyway, married or not I suppose. How long have you thought on this?"

"For a while. It's the last thing I can think of. I've gone over dozens of
possibilities, and this is the only one left. I don't want to lose..." Heero
stopped, let his words spin out into the air unfinished.

"You don't want to lose her," Duo sighed in relief. His own doubt and fear
was fading, trusting in what Heero was faithfully, and somewhat
uncharacteristically imparting. "I guess you really do care. I'll keep quiet
and not say anything about this on one condition."

Heero sat up straighter at this, some feeling of anticipation and dread
pricking at him. What happened if he couldn't make this "condition" of Duo'
s?

"And that is?"

"If you don't get called away, or even if you do and come back," Duo
clarified, "you better use whatever perfect abilities you got in you to love
her and make her happy, or the toll exacted may be greater than you are able
to pay."
"I know. I wouldn't have told you if I didn't think you'd keep quiet about
that."

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be happy at that or not." Duo held his
head in his hands and looked at the hard wood floor under his feet. "Just
so long as you know I wish there were another way. There's no way I'd not be
yelling this to the world if I didn't know you had a shred of decency left
in you."

"Duo, there's one other thing." Heero watched as his friend lift his head.
"If I leave, you'll look after her?"

Duo smiled, a genuine happy smile, knowing the answer right away. Heero
would not ask him for many things, but it was beyond any declaration of
trust that he should ask Duo to watch over Relena. It was, in its way, far
more satisfying than Heero's faith in his abilities as a pilot.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: miaka mouse on 2002-07-20 00:26 ]</font>

[Jannbond]

Oh Heero, you foolish, foolish person. Poor Relena. ^_^; But naturally, I love the twist! I hadn't expected him to marry her, and I love the reason he's doing it, mean as it is. My hope is that he'll eventually come to his senses and realize he loves her, but you won't disappoint us, now will you? ^_~

Again, your writing is superb and the characters are all right-on, Duo included. Write more, please! I'll have to pester you endlessly if you don't. ^^