Three Wishes for Disaster.

[Adaon]

A/N: Many thanks to An for beta-ing.

This was originally written for and MBF challenge.

Three Wishes for Disaster.
Rated: G
Humor
Narrative from Heero's PoV

You would probably think having not one, but two genies was a good thing.

You never met Duo and Hildie.

It started about two months ago when I was walking along the beach planning out the perfect spot to propose. I'll get back to that in a little while. And for the first time in my life I experienced a loss of balance due to an outside influence, some might call it tripping, but I say it's like that old thing about a tree falling in a forest and no one hearing it. There was a bottle, it was a somewhat fancy (although dirty and seaweed-covered) and oreintalso I decided to bring it home and use it as a vase on the table when I took Relena out to propose to her.

I got home, cleaned the bottle up, and when I pulled the top off I had a face full of smoke. When my vision cleared up I wondered if this was how some one managed to put gas in the bottle that caused me to hallucinate. In front of me suddenly were a man and a women, wearing cloths that looked like they came out of the "I dream of Jeanie" wardrobe, and making out. They didn't stop, not for another two minutes, I was surprised they could go that long without breathing, but I soon understood why.

When they stopped the woman looked at me and blinked a couple times. The man was attempting to continue the make out session. I was reminded of Gomez Addams.

"Duo, stop."

He didn't, but mumbled out something similar to "why?".

"Duo, we aren't in the bottle anymore."

That got his attention. He started looking around until he saw me, then he got way to close for comfort and started looking me over. So I did the only natural thing: I pulled my gun and told him to back off.

Well it turned out their names were Duo and Hildie, and they were married genies. I didn't know genies could be married but I found it generally not worth the effort to ask them any questions. And from what they told me I'm stuck with them until I either get rid of the bottle or die, why that makes my trigger finger twitch I'm not sure.

I decided to make the best of it and let them occupy themselves doing things around the house. They have proved somewhat useful, but Duo is no longer allowed to touch electronic devices. How you make a toaster do that, I'll never know.

Anyways, back to my proposing to Relena. We had been going out since high school, I can honestly say I love her, and I have been planning for a month to make it perfect. Then I learned from Hildie that there is some crazy rule that anyone who is planning to marry a master of a genie gets three wishes without them knowing it, apparently it's some kind of test to make sure they will be ready for the news about the genie. After seeing what could happen, I was not looking forward to this.

The first thing I picked was the night to propose. It was the four year anniversary of when we officially became a couple, I figured she'd find that romantic. The forecast said rain so I scrapped the beach idea and made reservations at an Italian place she likes. And this is where Relena's first wish came in. Of all things to say, she had to use the words "I wish you hadn't gone to all this trouble." Duo's way of granting that was making her wake up at home. She thought it was just a dream and was mad at me for two weeks before she forgave me about forgetting our anniversary. I left Duo stuffed in that bottle for another two days after that, I probably wouldn't have let him out except Hildie gave me one of those sad puppy-dog looks.

One month later I decided to try again, same day just one month later. And it was the anniversary of our first kiss, so there was still ample romantic value added. Duo was put away in the bottle for the night. The weather on the beach was clear so courtesy of Hildie, I set everything up, the meal was planned, the ring was placed in a desert tray, and the table was candle lit with a perfect view of the sunset. So what could possibly go wrong? When dinner came out Relena wished to herself that "she could have flounder." The problem? She's allergic to flounder, but still had a fodness for it.

Fortunately after Relena started having labored breathing Hildie realized her mistake and changed it to some kind of pasta. Well the night was ruined after that and Relena was apologizing, not knowing "what had come over her." But then came the big one, she said "I wish I knew what has been on your mind all evening. Now I was more then happy to answer, I decided to salvage the night and propose anyway. But Hildie was compelled because of the wish, and informed Relena that I wanted to propose. After receiving a death glare Hildie made herself scarce leaving me with Relena, who asked if that was true. So I simply got on one knee and presented her the ring.

The night was saved, she accepted. We were happily married, Duo and Hildie were only let out of the bottle only after promising absolutely NO wish granting at the wedding.

Things went well. Relena's friend Sally caught the bouquet, much to the distaste of her boyfriend Wufei. Relena and I are happy, although she avoids using the word "wish" at all times now. She and Hildie have grown close, apparently Hildie took an instant liking to shopping malls.

And Duo is still not allowed near any electronic devices. How he did that with a refrigerator, I'll never know.

[Wingnut]

And from what they told me I'm stuck with them until I either get rid of the bottle or die, why that makes my trigger finger twitch I'm not sure.

I think it stems from the desire Heero often has in fanfics to want to shoot Duo for being a complete and total moron.
So what exactly does Duo do with electronic devices anyway?

[lilac310]

This is an epitome of creative genius! :razz:

[Morrighan]

[Stephy]

very cute

[matisleonhart]

Adaon man, I have got to admit that you are one funny motherf***er

[Adaon]

Umm, thanks, I think?

[Adaon]

And from what they told me I'm stuck with them until I either get rid of the bottle or die

I think it stems from the desire Heero often has in fanfics to want to shoot Duo for being a complete and total moron.

So what exactly does Duo do with electronic devices anyway?

To answer that would take away half the fun. [/b]

[lildragonfly]

haha, that was funny

[Adaon]

Glad you liked it.