Endlessly [ 2xR songfic, PG-13 for language ]

Post and read fanfiction centered around "alternative" GW couplings - like Quatre x Catherine, Duo x Relena, Heero x Hilde, etc. fics

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Nausica?
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Endlessly [ 2xR songfic, PG-13 for language ]

Post by Nausica? »

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters, terms, and affiliates of Gundam Wing are not mine, but belong to their respective owners, Shin Kidosenki, Bandi, &c.

Notes: I am no stranger to alternative pairings in gw. Far from it. AP's are my favourite fics to read online, second only to 1xR's, of course :wink: What I am a stranger to is forum posting. This is my first, but hopefully not my last! But to make my AN short n' sweet, the song ?Endlessly? is sung by the group B4-4. Such a sweet song *_* I?ve been planning this for a while, figuring out which is my best approach. A lot of detail? A lot of dialogue? First person? Third person? That type of thing, and hopefully, I haven?t over done it.

All comments, criticisms, and rants are welcome. Just as long as you say something, Naus will be a happy camper.

Have fun...



Endlessly
written by: Nausica?



Late at night you called on a phone,
We talked about the day,
When you found out he was cheating.



The incessant ringing of the phone jolted me awake, its bells echoing in the silence of the dark room. Rolling onto my stomach and dragging a pillow over my head, I attempted to drift back to sleep, trying my damnedest to ignore the sound that seeped effortlessly through layers of goose down. But when the ringing continued, I pulled up a corner and glared balefully in the direction of the noise, shooting invisible bullets that, of course, did nothing to silence the phone. The triple ring ring! continued, sounding urgent and somehow distressed enough that I conceded defeat. Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, with grumbles muttered beneath my breath, I trudged over to the phone and plucked up the receiver.

Hoarse with impatience, my voice rasped unpleasantly into the phone. ?Hello??

?Duo? P-please, I?m sorry it?s so late to call where you are, but? I need to talk to somebody,? came the reply, raspy as mine, I noted.

But not with impatience.

With tears.

Back at my bed, I switched the bedside lamp on and leaned against the headboard, legs stretched before me. I was now wide awake, hearing the thinly veiled plea for an ear to listen in the voice on the line.

?Ok, breathe? Now, tell me what happened, Relena.?

?Just give me a second, Duo. It?s hurting too much right now.?



You tell me that it hurts to the bone,
To trust someone that way.
To find that he was deceiving,



Between sobs and lapses, Relena?s story came out.

Apparently, during a rare break for the Preventer agents, Wufei Chang and Heero Yuy had decided to get away from stuffy office walls and eggshell wallpaper. They?d chosen a moderately sized club, one that I remembered visiting on a few occasions when in the Sanq Kingdom. Secretly relishing their evening off, Wufei and Heero bought their poison and sat at the bar.

Surprisingly enough, even with our extensive training, the pull of the alcohol had sucked them beneath its malt infused surface. One drink became two, two became three, and? well, you know how it goes?



The glass hit the bar with unneeded force, and Heero Yuy glared at the blurry image of the Chinese man beside him. ?What did you say??

?I said,? Wufei jeered, pointing at the two Heeros he was seeing, lip curled in distaste. ?
you are pussy-whipped. Just because she?s got a pretty face and a pretty body, you?re letting her have her way. Look at you. By the end of this month, she?s gonna have you chained to her for the rest of your miserable life. And by a week after the wedding, I wouldn?t be surprised to see Relena leading you about with a leash, you?re that weak. Fuck, you disgust me.?

Heero felt the anger course through his veins alongside the alcohol. ?Shut the hell up, Wufei. At least I?ve got a pussy whipping me. Sally?s old enough to be your mother.? He took a slug of his drink, ignoring the burning in his throat. ?Probably lose yourself in all that loose skin ? that is, if you even
manage to get in her pants.?

?Uh-uh-uh,? Wufei singsonged. ?I?ll ignore that shit you just said. You?re trying to switch the spotlight on me.?

Wufei heard a growl of anger and smiled smugly.

?We are here to discuss what a pushover Heero Yuy is, the legendary pilot of Wing Zero,? he belted out to the passersby. ?He?s getting married in two weeks and already she?s got her meat hooks in him deep. She knows his schedule by heart, cause he?s with her 24 frikkin? hours a day! He even lets her straighten his clothes if he doesn?t look good enough in the morning. Can anybody say ?sucks to be you???

Wufei got only a few chuckles out before hands closed over his throat. He was jerked around to meet a pair of icy cobalt eyes. He could see the reckless question hovering there.

Drunkenly, he smiled. ?Find someone. Any other will do. And prove it.?




She?d found them the morning after ? that morning for her, actually. Heero hadn?t answered the doorbell, so she?d let herself in with the set of keys he?d given her.

The disorder of the house alerted her that something was wrong, so she ran straight for his bedroom. Flinging the door wide and expecting to see Heero injured or unconscious, Relena was in for one helluva painful surprise.



She ignored the masculine clothes strewn haphazardly everywhere, a jacket on one side of the room, a pair of pants across from it. It was the bra hanging on the bedpost that caught her attention. Slowly, unbelievingly, she lifted her eyes to see red lacquered toenails attached to small feet, connected to smooth white legs. And intimately entangled between them were the larger, hairier legs of her fianc?.

She couldn?t speak, continuing to lift her gaze up the plain, blue blanket, the twinges of her stomach warning her that she might not be able to hold in her breakfast with what she might see next. But she had to. Had to see that at least he had the presence of mind to pick someone who didn?t look like her?

Luck had turned its back on her.

With nothing left to do and having nothing to say, Relena screamed.




And I know I've always just been your friend,
But if you look my way,
I'll make sure you'll never hurt again.



?Oh god, Duo, you should?ve seen how he?d looked,? Relena cried. ?He looked so happy right in the arms of another woman! And he didn?t even look one bit embarrassed when he woke up to my screaming.?

I struggled for words, I was so shocked. ?Relena, I-I don?t know what to say.?

?You know what he did, Duo? He actually took my arm and pulled me downstairs and told me to wait. I had to sit there for an hour, while he showered and got dressed. I even had to see his fuck of the night out the door!?

Closing my eyes, I listened to the rest of Relena?s recount silently, choosing to take out my growing anger on the pillow next to me. I knew that Heero was emotionally challenged, but I thought even he knew that you don?t get in bed with some hoe off the street two weeks from your wedding day. Doctor J might?ve taken his emotions away, but he never lost his common sense.

?And then he asked for the ring back, Duo. The ring. It?s over.? Her voice was breaking with the endless talking she?d done.

And I was at my wits end. There were only two things I knew for sure. One, I had to see Relena before she pulled anything drastic, and two, I was going to find Heero and do my best to beat the shit out him. He lost the best thing that ever came across his path. Did he even know how the rest of the guys would kill for? well, for the love of that woman?

?Do you want me to do anything for you, Relena?? It was all I could manage for now.

There was a pause, and I thought she wouldn?t answer me. What I got in answer was the one thing I knew I probably could never do as long as Heero Yuy walked the face of the earth.

?Yeah. Make the pain stop, Duo. Please,?



Do you know I exist, just to promise you this,
Endlessly to be true to you,
And if you answer my prayer,
I cross my heart and I'd swear
Endlessly to be true to you,

And if you'd only see,
How beautiful you and I would be, endlessly.



After many reassurances and goodbyes later, I finally hung up the phone to a sleepy, emotionally exhausted Relena. She was a wreck. And it was all because of one boy?s stupid ? and not to mention useless ? move to preserve his dignity. Notice how he?s a boy and that I left out ?manly? before dignity. He doesn?t deserve to be called a man after what he?s done. Did he even know what marriage was about? What that ring he?d taken back from Relena meant? Did he think that the marriage vows were just that ? another set of vows or missions he would undertake to uphold?

Damn it, I?m feeling sick enough to vomit.

If it were me, things would be different.

Yeah, if it were me?



I remember when you fell in love,
I could not believe.
That it was not with me.



Somehow, I managed to get back to sleep, amazing since I felt like tearing apart the next thing that moved. But it wasn?t a peaceful sleep. Nope, not even close.

I dreamt of the day she said, ?I?m in love with you.?

To Heero.

I had followed Relena into the hedge maze that spanned most of her back lawns, my turn in our game in finding her. I?d found her within five minutes, but decided to let her think she?d escaped for just a bit longer. I?ve regretted waiting since, but I think now that it would?ve just been delaying the inevitable.



?Relena? You shouldn?t be out here by yourself.?

?Oh, I?m not alone, Heero. Duo?s out there somewhere looking for me. Hide and go seek ? a game we still play from our childhood.?

?Hn.?

?Did you play games when you were little, Heero??

?No. There were no games for me.?




They went on and on about Heero?s childhood, and I was surprised that he opened up so much to her. But when their conversation turned to the subject of his future, Heero clammed up like a? like a clam. It turned ugly from there.



?Why won?t you think about the future, Heero? You?ve got such a bright one ahead of you. One, I hope, that includes me.?

?How do you know, Relena? I could die tomorrow or even-?

?Don?t say that! I love you too much to let that happen to you!?

?What did you say??




I literally felt the air electrify with her tension. She could barely get her next words out.



?I said? I said ?don?t say that.??

?No, after that.?

?I don?t know what you mean.?




An obvious lie, and they both knew it. I, for one, was willing to believe. Anything, just to live in the fantasy that there was hope for me.



?I said ?I love you too much to let that happen to you!??



Thousands of invisible knives sunk deep in my heart. But it didn?t break until she?d said it again.



?I?m in love with you.?



I sent a secret prayer up above,
And put my heart away.
So that you could be free.



The scene of Heero and Relena sharing their first kiss after her declaration of love faded into blessed darkness, but another came to replace it. One that was almost as equally painful as seeing her in Heero?s arms.




The quiet creaking of the door was followed quickly by a gasp of surprise. I hurriedly dropped my shirt, turned, and pasted an overly bright smile on my face.

?Hey, ?Jousan, what?s up?? I gritted. I tried to move casually to block the object on my bed, but signs of what it was littered my room. Relena nudged me aside and stood looking down at the small suitcase.

?You?re? leaving??

I shrugged carelessly and turned around, busying my hands with folding shirts. ?I?m wasting my time here, Princess. You?ve got Heero now to protect you. He?ll probably do a better job of it than I did.?

?
Do, Duo.? she corrected. I felt a small hand on by back and shivered. ?You can?t leave.?

Hating myself for it, I felt my will crumbling. But just the thought of living under the same roof with the knowledge that the one I loved was with another ? well, the heartache of never seeing her again was bearable compared to what I?d feel if I stuck around.

I turned to face her and froze when she fervently jumped to wrap her arms around my neck. For one crazy moment, I let myself entertain the thought that she might kiss me, but as if she would. Hello, earth to Duo Maxwell, you just saw her the night before playing tonsil hockey with your best bud. She would never settle for second best.

?Please, Duo?? she pleaded. ?Don?t leave.?

Sighing, I gently took her arms from around my neck and placed them at her sides. I ran my hands up her small arms, memorizing her features. ?Sorry, Relena. As much as I would like to stay and watch over you two, I?ve got places to be.?
And people to forget.



I left her standing there with a whisper of a kiss on her forehead. I rather would?ve aimed that kiss lower, but she was taken now. Off limits. Huh, wasn?t it always like that?

That night, three years ago, I boarded my plane and left the Sanq Kingdom behind. And with it my heart.

I didn?t look back.



And I know that right now you're broken in two,
But did you know my heart's been broken since that day I met you?




She?s still awake and she?s still crying. I can feel it. But what can I do besides be the shoulder to cry on?

It?s not like I can be the knight in shining armour and fly back to the Sanq to rescue her from her troubles. It might work for a while, but what?s happened will always linger in the back of our minds, waiting for something to trigger its memory. And then it?ll all come back in full force.

I can?t make her forget. Not Heero. She?d fallen for him the moment she?d laid eyes on him.

Just like me when I saw her.

I remember. I tried to be the knight in shining armour then too.



Do you know I exist, just to promise you this,
Endlessly to be true to you,
And if you answer my prayer,
I cross my heart and I'd swear
Endlessly to be true to you,

And in my sweetest dream,
You've learn to put your faith in me, endlessly



It?s been a year since her late night phone call, and since then, things have moved slowly. The kind of if-you-moved-any-slower-you?d-be-moving-backwards kinda slow. I hate seeing her so frail and withdrawn, but hey, at least she?s showing signs of improvement.

She?s planned to visit me for two weeks, and here at the airport, I just saw her golden head. I wave enthusiastically at her and she sees me. My breath catches with the smile she gives me. It?s the one she reserves just for me.

Two weeks alone with me is the longest she?s been without being under constant surveillance. It?s a short two weeks, but we made the best of it: going for ice cream sundaes, feeding the ducks at the park, visiting the traveling carnival, taking relaxed drives that lead to nowhere in particular, and catching the chick flicks ? for her benefit, of course.

And at the end of the day, she slept in my bed.

I slept on the couch, much to her embarrassed realization that she?d taken the only bed.

When she was too tired to stand awake long enough for me to open the door, I?d tuck her in and brush my lips across her forehead. She?s looking a bit more peaceful in sleep, I noticed. The line between her eyebrows is relaxed.

The nightmares didn?t come as often as they did before, but they did make their appearance now and again.

That?s why I?ve awakened to a warm body curled up against me, its shivers shaking the blanket covering us.

?Duo, it happened again.?

I shushed her fearful whimpers and pulled her close, feeling her bury her face against my neck.

?It?s alright, Relena. I?ve got you.?

It was always the same scenario. She?d open the door to see Heero and that girl asleep in each other?s arms. She?d see the lack of remorse on his face when he woke. She?d see the satisfied smile as the girl left the house. And she?d see her hand dropping their engagement ring in his.



Sometimes the thing you need,
Is the one thing you can't see
If you put your faith in me,
How beautiful you and I would be.



God help me but it?s the last night of her stay with me. She?d taken to dragging me to the bed and sleeping beside me, so in the case that she?d waken with her nightmare, I?d be right beside her to grab and cling to.

I don?t mind the clinging at all, but I do mind the wistful, unconscious sighs.

?Heero,?

?Heero,?

?Heero,?

I?ve had enough.

I regret it the moment I finished shaking her to wakefulness. ?Damn it, let go, Relena!?

She doesn?t pretend not to understand.

?Don?t you think I?ve tried, Duo? Why do you think I visited you this whole time? I just can?t??

I couldn?t help myself. ?Can?t or just won?t?? When she visibly flinched, I felt guilt claw at me. ?I?m sorry. That?s none of my business,?

?Don?t be. I deserve it. I just ruined our last night.?

?If you just let it go, Relena, you know everything would turn out right again. Let it go, Relena. Let him go.?

?I don?t know if I can. He?s been the centre of my life for so long. I can?t help but think about him.?

Ever heard of the saying ?Think before you speak??? Huh, should?ve taken the advice.

?You want to know why you?re like this, Relena?? I whispered. ?You?ve been hurt terribly, I know. But you?ve spent too much time with the past, when you should be looking at what?s right in front of you.?

She?s not slow, but it took a while for her to understand what I meant. I knew the moment she understood ? her body grew rigid.

?Duo? I-I can?t,? her voice was small.

I spent the rest of the night back at my couch. Didn?t do much sleeping, but got to be a great philosopher, wondering on the follies of love.



Do you know I exist, just to promise you this,
Endlessly to be true to you,
And if you answer my prayer,
I cross my heart and I'd swear
Endlessly to be true to you,

And if you'd only see
How beautiful you and I would be, endlessly



Now, it?s been a year since she left after two weeks spent with me, two years since her phone call. Oh yeah, and ten hours since I made the biggest mistake of my life and blurted out my deepest secret. At least she?d been able to stay around me when she hadn?t known.

Now it?s my turn to sulk and give unconscious sighs. Luckily, no one?s around to hear me. Yup, just me, myself, and I.

The doorbell rings, and I answer it, expecting the pizza I?d ordered.

She stood there instead, knocking the wind completely out of my lungs without a bat of a lash.

?Can I come in, Duo?? she asks.

Speechless, I only nod and back away as she moves inside.

?It?s been a while,? I manage.

?It has,? she answered, slipping her jacket off. Silence follows her quiet words, and I realize that she?s just as nervous as I am.

We make small talk for the next few minutes, both of us aware that we?re beating about the bush but refusing to be the one to take charge of the conversation. I don?t blame her. I?m terrified.

But I have to know.

?Why are you here, Relena? Why are you back??

I watch her set down her glass with deliberate slowness. ?I?ve been thinking.?

?About what??

?Everything that?s happened. Heero?s sleeping with another woman. Our engagement being broken. My sulking? and your? and your words.?

Against my will, my hopes began to rise. ?And??

?And something?s happened.? she replies, a small smile on her face.

?Like?? Could she have possibly realized she loved me?

?Heero wants me back.?

A pathetic ?oh? tumbled from my frozen lips. ?Con-congratulations, Princess. Is the date set again??

She shook her head. ?There won?t be one, Duo.?

The ghosts of my hopes were rising but this time I stamped on them firmly. ?Why is that??

?Because,? Relena replied. ?I told him there?s someone else.?

?Who?? I ask. There was someone else? Someone I hadn?t even heard about? Question after question bounced in my mind, but all thoughts were shattered when she leaned over and gave me a soft kiss.

?Yeah,? she said, her eyes twinkling. ?It?s you.?




She?s never said ?I?m in love with you? yet, but with her by my side, it?s a start.



Notes: * sigh * I like this one, I really do! :D I wrote this for just the fun of writing it, but if it had made you 2xR fans out there happy - then that's a bonus. 2xR?s can happen too! Sorry with the slight Heero bashing but it had to be done!

And as for replies: Give it to me, sweets!
Last edited by Nausica? on Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Beck
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Post by Beck »

Oh wow, what a heartwrenching fic. I want to take a bat and beat Heero senseless for doing that to Rel and not showing any remorse. BUT I also want to beat Wufei up too for putting those thoughts in Heero's head. Oh well, Heero's loss though.

2xR is one of my many fav alt pairs that I like to see Relena with. I really liked this fic, I hope to see more from you. :D :D
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Post by Stuntcat »

*fluffs feathers and make noises of contentment*

It was lovely!

*drawling* I adooooored it daahhling.

*jumps in happy circles*

I'm just annoyed Heero didn't get his come-uppance. No offense...but look what he did to Relena! *whimper*

^____^ Great job~
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Post by tornin1/2 »

i love this fic, it's sooo good.
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Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself."
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Post by cHiMes »

this fic....its just so....*cries* I don't know but its so...goood.......
"When I was suffering, you were there behind me" Anon....unless i made it up...

"If she dies, the World Nation and this false peace will disappear. Relena, I'll destroy you."

"Zero won't tell me. Wufei, tell me, how many more times do I have to kill that girl and her dog? Tell me, Wufei." [Heero]

You can find me on Gaia online as Melicent....
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Post by lilac310 »

Your fic kept me attached to the computer screen!!!!!! :bounce: This is good even if it's not my fave couple, which is 1*R, however, 2*R is my next fave couple.....YAY!!!!!!!! :lol: Goo job here!!!!!!

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Post by wicked »

Huzzah (as stolen from Rose and others)! I love this fic! You did a superb job throughout. And for whatever reason I don't mind the Heero bashing on bit. I tend to do it from time to time myself.

I have to rank the 2xR up there with my love/adoration/obsession for 3xR. Shhhh but don't tell anyone, but I think I like 2xR more than 1xR but of course not more than 3xR. Shhhhhh!

As I asked in the 1xR forum, do you have any more? I must have more! :bounce: I don't like to admit it, but I think I kinda love Duo too. Poor Trowa, he has so much competition! :roll:

~Wicked

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Post by Nausica? »

Hey, sweets...

Wow, am I a lazy girl, or what? This fic was posted how long ago, and I'm only replying to it now? :-? I'm such a bad author - here I am, asking for replies, and when I get them I don't even have the decency to reply back. * sigh *

Good thing Ley isn't here to see me... * Naus ducks behind her desk just in case*

But yeah, to all of you who replied - the few, but oh-so amazing few:

Thanks for all your comments. They were a joy to read.

But aside from saying thanks to you guys for reviewing, I believe I forgot to tell you guys that there was a sequel to Endlessly. Most of you guys wanted to see what happens to Heero, and that's who the next fic is centred on. It'll be a songfic in his P.O.V. And as for titles, it's titled after the name of the song it's based on: Get Away, performed by Avant.

Don't know when it'll be out, but just thought I'd give you guys a (rather late) heads up.

See you soon...


- Naus
Last edited by Nausica? on Sat Feb 18, 2006 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by War Dove »

I remember reading this fic elsewhere and thinking of how much I liked it and rereading it now I think the same thing. :D

And I think Heero isn't really bashed just bastardized (sp?) somewhat.

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Post by mystic_jade »

* Smiles * Loved it! I don?t read songfics often, but now I most defiantly will; very well put together, and very well done. Loved the portrayal of Duo. Wufie, heh, why is it I can actually see him doing that? Can?t wait to read more from you. Jade.
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