Final Redemption [FMA | PG]

[Leia Avenrose]

<center>Disclaimer: I don?t own FullMetal Alchemist. I only own the little ficclet-like storyline that I?ve gone and randomly produced with my museless mind. Yes, museless, that?s how it?s been for the past while now. And so, the song used is called MINT and it?s by Olivia; it?s very exotic!
Dedication: To Mellie, a true FMA fan, my lover, and best friend. MWOHAHAHA!~


Final Redemption
By: Leia Avenrose
Rating: PG

I am tripping out on myself,
I am tripping out on myself;
I have to watch my thoughts,
Before they come to life,
Before they come to life;

To get you out of my head,
I have to swallow my tongue
I have to find where I went,
Before she comes to life

They?re coming to get me,
They?re coming to take my away;
She?s getting closer

I can?t hide my secrets;
They?re listening to me,
They?re always listening to me

They?re coming to get me,
Coming to get me,
Coming to get me;
She?s coming to get me,
Coming to get me,
They?re coming,
She?s coming
They?re coming, coming,
She?s coming?[screaming]</center>


?Final Heaven?? A sharp laugh came from the other room. ?Why do you ask about it anyways? It doesn?t exist!?

?How can you say that? I hear you praying every night. I see you in the Church almost every day, Edward. How can you say it doesn?t exist when you clutch to it like it?s your last deliverance?? Winry argued for the umpteenth time that day. ?If you don?t believe me, then speak to Al. He?ll tell you the same thing. I worry about you, Edward. I?m afraid of what you?re going to do next; Alchemy?s dead, you can?t keep it alive forever.?

A tall man with broad shoulders and a long golden ponytail draped down the front of his lean body stepped through the doorway. He absently rubbed his right forearm, wincing. Winry frowned, seeing him, and rose off the chair. She moved to his side, pushing back the sleeve on his right arm.

?What did you do??

?I did nothing,? Edward muttered. ?It just ? hurts.?

?I?ve begun to notice that it starts to hurt on a daily basis now.? Winry lifted his arm, examining the auto-mail. She shifted his fingers to and fro, making sure they were still in working condition, and then tested the elbow joint. ?You might just need to get some oil in the??

Edward jerked his arm out of her grasp, pushing the sleeve back down. ?It?s fine,? he bit out, and brushed past her to the small desk in the corner of the room. He began shuffling through papers and discarded books, the edges frayed.

Winry turned to watch him, hands clasped in front of her. ?Edward, please. You have to stop this.?

?Winry, fifteen years,? he cut in, not turning to face her, ?we?ve been married now. You know me well enough to know that I?m the stubborn type. I see things through to the very end.?

?I know,? she murmured. Rubbing her upper arms with her hands, feeling suddenly cold, she walked towards him and, stepping up behind him, wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face into his back. She felt the muscles ripple as he shifted around to face her.

?You know how I feel about Pops? work. I have to finish it. With ? with?? He couldn?t finish. Every time he thought about it and how his last remaining family had passed on so abruptly, his throat tightened and his eyes burned.

Edward squeezed his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around the woman leaning into him and pulled her against him harder. She was all that was left. The new babe slept peacefully in the other room, secure in her cradle, dressed all in white lace. They were all he had now. They were his family. He had nowhere else to go; he would go nowhere else. He belonged here, but there was something missing, something he couldn?t quite place his finger on. Winry pressed her face into his chest, sighing softly, and soothingly ran her hands up and down his back. After a moment she felt him relax into her.

?I know it?s still tough,? she whispered, her voice breaking. ?He was my brother, too. You can?t ? you can?t go back and change what happened.?

Edward said nothing, keeping his face pressed into her shoulder. Winry used his silence to continue, her voice soft and firm now. ?Edward, Katherine and I will always be here for you. Equivalent trade; I may know close to absolutely NOTHING about it, but I know my fair share, enough that makes me comfortable with it being a daily thing in my life now. It?s always been a constant thing in my life, that?s because you?ve always been here.

?Alphonse had enjoyed life to the fullest. It wasn?t our calling, but his. Please, accept it.?

?You know the reason why I go to the Church.?

Winry nodded, nuzzling her lips against his breast. Edward tightened his grip on her, shifting against her. ?Maybe ? just maybe once I?ll get to see it,? he murmured more to himself then to her or anyone in particular.

?You said it doesn?t exist??

?I did, and I meant it.?

?Then why must you persist with it, Edward? Why? Why can?t you just let it be?? Winry pulled away from him. Edward grabbed her by the upper arms, his golden eyes wide, yet a comforting sight to her.

?I could?ve stayed there. I didn?t have to come back, but I did. We?ve gone over this thousand of times now, Winry. I came back for you. I couldn?t let you go, not after I had lost Mother, and then ? Pops. After Pops left ? Alphonse just ? lost his light. I may be just making up excuses for his death and for my reasons to go to Church, but hear me out, I beg of you, Winry?Final Heaven does not exist, but I will see that it does.?

?In order to achieve Final Heaven, Edward Elric, Alchemy needs to breathe!? Winry tore away from him, rubbing where he had gripped her. She could already feel the bruises. She shook her head, her face flushed, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. ?If Alchemy is dead, Final Heaven goes with it. Do you not remember the Old Testament? It was in your father?s Alchemy journal.?

Edward sighed heavily, brushing his bangs off to the side. ?You?re not an Alchemist, you wouldn?t understand what it takes to achieve Final Heaven.?

Winry felt the knife he had stabbed into her heart twist. Her chin trembled at his words. Regardless of her being unable to produce Alchemy, she knew her fair share. And she knew that her husband wasn?t being fair about this situation. He was being selfish; he was pushing her away, putting distance between them. He always did this when going on and on about this Final Heaven.

?Edward, Final Heaven isn?t what you think it is. Going through the Gate was one thing but this is entirely different! You and Alphonse practiced the Body Alchemy. You tried to transmute your mother back to life. And it failed.? She didn?t feel any better at the hurt that entered his eyes, or the grimace he made with his lips. She knew it hurt to speak of, but she had to get her point across and this was the only way.

?Final Heaven is death, Edward,? she went on. ?Is that what you want? When you passed through the Gate, you didn?t see death, but the Universal Truth. You saw it all. Both you and Alphonse saw it, including Izumi. I don?t doubt that your father saw it, as he, too, had practiced Body Alchemy, but he, too, went for Final Heaven, Edward, and look at where it got him?in a box, six feet under the bloody ground! Is that what you want? Is that what you want for our family? Katherine will grow up without a father??

?That?s better then growing up without a fucking mother!? Edward shouted at her, his composure finally snapping. ?You don?t know what it?s like! You never tried it. Once your parents were gone, you went through life as a normal kid. You had no idea what we went through all those years.?

Winry brought a hand to her mouth, trying to stifle the broken sob. ?You?re wrong. You?re so wrong. I knew exactly what you went through! I was THERE, Edward, damn you! I was THERE!? She whirled, walking out of the room, sobbing into a hand, trying her best to keep it all in.

Edward watched after her, silent. Breathing heavily from the outburst, he made no move to calm his racing heart. He knew what had to be done. They both did. Until he was dead, he would forever continue to beg for forgiveness. All his life he had sinned. From the very moment of his mother?s death, straight to this very day. He didn?t bother with grabbing the discarded notes and books. Instead he grabbed some paper and ink and a quill and scribbled out a small note.

He left the house in silence, tears blurring his vision.

Edward knew what had to be done. Katherine ? she had her mother. As long as she had her mother, that?s all that mattered.

He entered the Church, panting for breath having run from the house, through the fields and the cemetery. The doors slammed off the wall from the force of his entry, the noise echoing throughout the hollow building and off the empty pews. The day was overcast; the stained glassed figures of God were dreary and silent as they observed him making his way shakily to the front where the altar stood. Edward fell to his knees, bringing out the ebony rosary.

?Final Heaven, I am without thee,? he whispered in reverence, clutching the beads closer to his heart. ?Final Heaven, bring onto me what I have undone onto you. Take my breath, steal my heart. I am forever yours, Final Heaven. Hold me close, share thy pain; I was never apart from thee. I give onto you what you failed to bring to me, Final Heaven, I am without thee.?

[Mellie]

That was so emotionally charged and beautiful. There was so much unspoken grief echoing throughout this story. I could feel tears in my eyes while reading this, unable to tear myself away from the sheer emotions. It was very powerful and amazing. And without a muse, nonetheless!

*glomp!* <3

[Caliborn]

Sad and serious... I really liked it. They seemed really in character, and although angst fics usually make me really sad, I can also understand the pain . . . poor Ed. Forever tormented... if only he could realize he's already been forgiven by the people that love him. I can see him getting dependent on the church and praying sessions, but it's an empty hope, really, because he'll never get the kind of response he really wishes for.

I had to go back and read "Final Heaven" after this. ^_^ There's not enouygh good FMA fanfiction out there... I must say, I really like your style of writing! I eagerly await your next peice.

[AnShino]

Heh, I couldn't breathe while I was reading it. Simply amazing. Very in character. You're a truly talented author, Leia.

[Leia Avenrose]

Thank you, all. I love Ed and I love writing about him... I understand his angst. The poor guy.. *strokes Ed*

[LittleRooster]

OMFG!!! that was so emotional toward Ed and Winry! I love it!! what happens next?