I completely agree with Melrose on the reading thing. Being dyslexic myself, I found growing up that one of the main reasons I was able to overcome it was because I LOVE to read... there is no better way to grasp the concept of style and structure of sentences than by seeing them applied by those already skilled and learned at the process.
Plus it allows you to discover for yourself what you yourself enjoy to read... as that will definately influence the style you go on to write. Afterall... you wouldn't write a scientific thriller if you had neither the interest nor the patience to read it. The same as writing a romance, if reading one makes you want to wretch.
And again... I'm with Anshino too. Not just with starting the sentence either, but repeatedly using he/she through out the paragraph. Use the characters name in places... it's really a case of balancing it out. Avoid being repetitive.
As for the imagery thing... something that I personally think is the heart of any story, I know it's what draws me in to a story. Nothing beats being 'right there' in a scene. Rather like being a fly on the wall.
There are some excellant authors here at BI that are quite skilled at it.
For describing a setting... say if you were describing a... house. Every word choice you make has an influence on the reader. The key to description is to include not only the house but how the character moves towards and through the house. All too often I've seen fic writers literally stop mid-scene, simply to give a down to the bone description of something... whether it's a house, room, what the character is wearing or looks like... it really breaks the flow of the story, and has no indication of how that place/item has influenced the character.
What you want to do is describe things 'on the run', through the viewpoint of the character. What they notice, or what has some impact on them, you describe. There's no need to describe the paisley foot stool on the other side of the room. Not unless the character just tripped over it.
If you were simply to say 'Heero walked into the house", the reader isn't really given much to go on. Pretty two dimensional right? But change it to 'Heero stalked into the meagerly furnished apartment.' and it gives a little more of a picture.
Try to make the most of the character's emotional reaction to the setting (combined with whatever else is going on in their life). It also gives the scene a more emotional depth.
Any description can be handled the same way. Describe it as the action continues and through the viewpoint character's perceptions. You should ask yourself how it would smell, taste, feel, sound to that character. Utilise the senses... you don't have to use all five obviously, but just by using them you can bring a vivid image to life for the reader. You want to do everything you can to help the reader experience this scene the way you have seen it in your own imagination.
And of course... don't forget your dialogue.
This helps the reader feel involved in the action itself. It helps bring the story to life much better than a chain of unbroken narrative.
And I've rattled on for far too long.
I hope some of this is helpful to you!
Good luck with your writing heaven's girl! Hope to read some of your work soon!
But for now, I'd better get back to my own writing. Adaon is going to have my hide...
<a href="