Missing by a Mile - Chapter 33

[blackrose]

<p align="center"><u><b>Missing by a Mile</b></u></p><p align="center">By the Black Rose</p><p>AN: My apologies for being two days late. I really wanted to get this done over the weekend, but had to work. And then, I admit, something about this chapter just kept? I dunno. I procrastinated. I admit it. I apologize. I have one more chapter written (needs editing) and then I'm still poking at chapter 35 ? which I thought would be the last chapter, but I think the finale could take longer than 1 chapter to write out. So, let's say 3 chapters and an epilogue? Which means I'm guesstimating 38 chapters. I wanted to have this all completed by February 2006 ? 5 years from when I began posting this on FFN. But, I'm re-thinking that at the moment.</p><p>I'm going to go with Chapter 34 being posted by January 16th. At that time, I'll check in with progress and let you guys know when to expect the final chapters.</p><p>Happy Holidays and thanks so much to those that are still reading. After all these years?</p><p>Much love,</p><p>Rose</p><p>PS - thanks to Caliborn for looking over this chapter for me tonight! </p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade><p><b>Chapter 33</p></b>
<p>-</p><p><i>"Heero?" Her voice slid into his ear, soft and breathy. Heero felt his body react just to the words and the warmth of her breath against his earlobe. </i></p><p><i>"I've missed you."</i></p><p><i>"Relena?"</i></p><p><i>She slid her arms around his neck, and pressed her nearly nude form against him. Heero couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips. It felt so good?</i></p><p><i>Her skin, her soft skin, and her soft body?He bent his neck to kiss her--</i></p><p><i>CRASH!</i></p><p><i>She evaporated in his arms. "Relena?" He searched for her, turning this way and that. "Relena?" Where was she? Was she in some sort of danger? He sprinted?Heero didn't know where he was sprinting, he just had this overwhelming sense of urgency - this feeling that she was in trouble.</i></p><p><i>CRASH! SMASH! CA-RACK!</i></p><p><i>"RELENAAAAAAAA!"</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>Heero shot upright. Sweat trickled from his temples to his neck. He wheezed and gasped for air.</p><p>"Hey, hey. Not your average visit from the sandman, eh?"</p><p>The Preventer tried to focus; shapes blurred and spun around his head.</p><p>"Yuy, put the gun down."</p><p>Heero blinked. His vision sharpened?somewhat. There was a tall blurry shape and a shorter blurry shape standing on the edge of his living room. And they sounded familiar?. But? <i>'But where's Relena?'</i></p><p>The former Gundam pilot squinted at the human-like shapes. "Where is she?"</p><p>"Where is?who?"</p><p>"Don't play games." He removed the safety on his pistol. He tried to lift himself off the ground, but gravity seemed to hate him at the moment. "Where's Relena?"</p><p>"Oh geez. He's lost it." The shorter blurry figure seemed to do all the talking. Heero glared at him.</p><p>And finally, a wide grin came into focus. The devil was smirking at him; he leaned forward with his arms crossed over his chest. A long braid fell over one shoulder.</p><p>"Duo."</p><p>"Hey there, time to rise and shine."</p><p>Heero squeezed the trigger. The deafening crash of a gunshot split the air. He liked the sound. The Preventer also liked the way his friend jumped and looked terrified when Heero shot at him.</p><p>Unfortunately, the other, taller blur didn't appear to be fazed. He moved from the entryway into Heero's living room.</p><p>"Leave."</p><p>The taller blurry-shape-turned-Zechs paid no attention. He rounded the corner and-- "Oh God?" Relena's brother stopped in his tracks and stared at something behind the owner of the apartment.</p><p>Heero jumped from his seat. He turned back to the monitors, his eyes scanning the many screens for any sign of trouble. <i>'No one in the hall - clear, her room - clear, she's sleeping - clear, clear. Outside her window, that one's clear.'</i> The crowd of LCDs sat in careful rows of increasing heights.</p><p><i>'Front of the hotel - clear, lobby - clear. Next one, north hallway - clear, south - clear, parking lot - clear--'</i></p><p>"How many?" Zechs's usually deep voice seemed higher pitched. "?are there?"</p><p>Heero blinked. "How many what?" <i>'Elevator - clear, roof - clear, door cam - clear, next door cam - clear, breakroom - clear--'</i></p><p>"These are all?" Duo started to say something. Heero continued to glance from screen to screen.</p><p><i>'Stairwell - clear, suite - clear, and clear.'</i></p><p>"What?"</p><p>"How many monitors?"</p><p>"Eighteen." Heero let out a breath. He didn't know what had prompted Zechs's expression, but for a moment? "These are all the camera feeds observed by the various security teams. I even found a couple that are internal to L4 that aren't being sent to Preventer."</p><p>Duo's boots came closer. Heero continued to observe the different monitors - only three feeds were broadcasting an image of Relena; her face was mostly hidden in shadows, but there was enough lamplight--</p><p>"Oh good God, what is that smell?" Duo exclaimed.</p><p>"I think it's him." Zechs's voice sounded closer. Heero glanced up to see Relena's brother staring in the direction of the monitors.</p><p>The young woman who was supposed to be Mrs. Yuy by now stirred on screen. Her mouth parted and her tongue darted out to lick her lips?</p><p>"Geez, Heero," Duo's voice sounded like he had suddenly developed a cold and his sinus cavities were stuffed up. "When was the last time you showered?"</p><p>Relena pushed the covers down to her waist and rolled over on to her back. Light trickled in from somewhere off screen and played across her features. He watched her chest rise and fall with her breathing.</p><p>"Hn."</p><p>"And when did you start drinking?" The annoyance known as Duo kept talking. Heero wondered if the idiot realized he wasn't paying attention.</p><p>Ever.</p><p>"?damn Strong Ale?in a bottle?"</p><p>Relena continued breathing deeply. In and out. The muscles of her face were relaxed. She looked the same as she did when they were fifteen. Heero growled. "It's got a slightly higher alcohol level than most domestic beers."</p><p>"And it's cheap, Duo." Zechs stepped between the Preventer and the huddle of monitors ? cutting off his view of sleeping Relena.</p><p>"If I recall, it's a favorite on L1."</p><p>Heero snarled up at Relena's brother. Zechs glared back.</p><p>"I'm out." The Preventer leaned to his right to try to see around the recently-debunked head of Relena's security. "Duo, go to the store and get another case."</p><p>"Oh. Yeah. Right." Something sounded like it hit the wall. "Like we're going to let you STAY rotten, stinking drunk in your apartment watching eighteen monitors with pictures of Relena."</p><p>Heero scowled and moved to have a clear view of the monitors again. Sleeping Relena in what looked like a thin nightdress opened her mouth to yawn, and her eyelashes fluttered. The obstruction moved. Heero shifted further to the right.</p><p>Sleeping Relena had her eyes closed again and seemed to be resting peacefully. The covers were shoved completely aside; her nightgown was not very long and it gave Heero an excellent view of?</p><p>"I'm not drunk." The obstruction finally moved?.somewhere.</p><p>"And only three have Relena right now."</p><p><i>'And only two that anyone ELSE can see.'</i></p><p>The feed to Relena's personal quarters had a higher level of encryption ? no one was supposed to be monitoring it; it was only there in case of emergency. If something happened to her, Preventer would be able to submit a request within 72 hours to view the video. BioMet was responsible for destroying all such recordings after the time limit had passed.</p><p>Sleeping Relena's long legs rubbed against each other before she turned over again. The nightgown hiked up in the back.</p><p>"At around eight twenty-four pm, when she's in the hallway of her hotel, there are seven different feeds that display various angles--"</p><p>"So at eight twenty-four, there will be seven monitors with pictures of Relena." Duo sat down to Heero's left. Zechs had, at some point, already found a seat on the Preventer's right.</p><p>A hand grabbed his left shoulder and shook. "This is a new level of pathetic. You realize this."</p><p>Heero threw Duo a scathing look out of the side of his eye. "Shut up, Maxwell." He wrenched his shoulder from his supposed friend's grip.</p><p>"You still want to deny you're in love with her?"</p><p>Heero closed his eyes. "I'm protecting her. I promised her I--"</p><p>"What's this?" Zechs stood, grabbed something from the floor and turned to hold it up. Heero felt his stomach lurch: it was his comforter. He snatched it away.</p><p>Relena's brother arched a light-colored eyebrow and had the nerve to let the corners of his mouth turn up like he wanted to smile. "You've been sleeping in here?"</p><p>Heero hung his head. "I can't go in my room." He placed the blanket next to him on the couch ? in the seat formerly occupied by Zechs.</p><p>Duo stood up. "Whyyyyyyyy?"</p><p>"I have a strange, dizzy sensation, and light-headedness combined with chest pains." He glanced up at his two visitors, then looked passed them to the monitor displaying her picture. "When Relena comes back, I may take a day off to go to the doctor."</p><p>"That's?odd," Zechs said.</p><p>Sleeping Relena frowned on screen. Her lips parted and formed the word 'no'. Her hand gripped the pillowcase.</p><p>"Do you have these symptoms anywhere else besides in your room?"</p><p>Her mouth moved again. <i>"Heero." </i>Relena's eyes snapped open and she stared in the direction of the camera. Like she was looking straight at him.</p><p>He had to glance away.</p><p>"Geez, buddy. Just admit you miss her."</p><p>The Preventer looked up at his friend. "It doesn't help."</p><p>"I suppose you've tried?" Zechs crossed his arms over his chest and glared.</p><p>"Yes." He turned his gaze back to the monitor. She'd pulled the covers over herself again and shut her eyes. But Heero knew she wasn't asleep.</p><p>"Every time I walk into my room, I?know I do."</p><p>-</p><p><i>He stared at her through the peep hole in the door, a thousand things running through his mind in one steady stream; only one thought distinguishable from the rest: she's in danger.</i></p><p><i>Heero threw the door aside just as she turned away. He grabbed her around the waist with his right arm and clamped his left hand over her mouth. The Preventer pulled her into his apartment and fell back against the door to make it shut.</i></p><p><i>She turned to face him. He wanted to tell her how she shouldn't be there, rail at her for putting herself in danger? But there was something in the way she looked at him that made him hesitate. </i></p><p><i>'Why do you care so much about me?'</i></p><p><i>He opened his mouth and before he could utter a sound, she pressed her lips against his; her arms went up to wrap around his neck.</i></p><p><i>"I want to?"</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>"What's special about your room, aside from its tendency to make you ill?" Zechs's expression went from dark to black.</p><p>Heero felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up.</p><p>-</p><p><i>She tugged the knot out of the fabric strap; the front fell open. Relena wore a silky-looking slip of a nightgown underneath - and, from the looks of it, nothing else. It stretched over her shoulders and pulled tight against her chest. The light blue fabric fell from the bottom of her breasts, over her hips, and stopped abruptly at the line that probably, in the back, just covered her rear.</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>Heero squared his shoulders and stared at the wall behind Relena's brother. "I refuse to answer the question based on the law's protection against self-incrimination."</p><p>"Great."</p><p>Heero risked a glance at his old enemy. Zechs's pale complexion turned white; his hands dropped to his sides.</p><p>"She snuck over here and you slept with her."</p><p>He looked away again. "I can neither confirm nor deny the accusation."</p><p>Stomp! Stomp! Two hands half struck-half grabbed his shoulders. The idiot with the braid pulled Heero off balance. "STOP BEING A SOLDIER!"</p><p>The Preventer shoved Duo aside. Hard. "Get out of my way." He stepped passed his friend and threw himself to the floor in front of his laptop. "I have a job to do."</p><p>Heero grit his teeth and pulled up his telnet session; he began checking the stats on the video feeds?</p><p>"And what exactly IS this job of yours?" Duo continued his turn at 'let's see how far we can push Heero until he has to kill people'. "Staring forlornly at images of Relena as she jets about the colony on speaking engagements with Trowa and Wufei?"</p><p>Heero stopped typing; numbers continued to scroll up his laptop LCD screen. He glanced up at the image of Relena ? who had managed to fall back asleep. She wore a slight smile on her lips?.</p><p>The Preventer cleared his throat and returned his attention to his computer. "I am watching for any signs of foul play or criminal activity surrounding the ESUN Vice Foreign Minister. I have direct access to the biometrics software to identify suspicious individuals and the Colonel's private line is on direct-dial in case I find anything and immediate action must be taken."</p><p>"On your cell phone?" Duo coughed and choked.</p><p>Heero sighed. "Yes." The Preventer glanced up at the cluster of monitors and checked all the images once again. Every fifteen minutes?</p><p>"The one that's dead?"</p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade><p>Duo plugged his left ear with his index finger and continued shouting into his mobile phone.
<p>"He's giving us a bit of trouble. He needs a shower, he needs?"</p><p>CRASH! Duo winced and refused to turn around to watch the battle. "?probably to be power washed and this apartment needs to be napalmed to save the rest of humanity."</p><p>BAM! Hissssssssssssssssssss!</p><p>"I'll?.ARRRRRRRGH!" Heero's voice growled in the midst of the fight. "I'm gonna?"</p><p>SMASH!</p><p>Duo ducked his head and hid around the corner from where the two combatants were going at it in the kitchen. Early on in the fight, several projectiles had been launched in various directions. Along with the necessary insults and accusations?</p><p>"You're still intense. Let's see how you like it IN HELL!"</p><p>"Zechs is wrestling with him, but?you know how that will turn out. Especially when Heero has the added advantage of the worst stink on Earth to overpower his opponent."</p><p>Une's voice came through the connection sounding clipped ? as usual. "Do whatever you have to in order to bring him in."</p><p>Duo groaned. He peered around the corner, trying to watch the fight and listen to the Colonel at the same time. Heero and Zechs were locked in the match of death. Zechs had the younger man's shoulders pinned to the counter near the stove.</p><p>But he didn't have the upper hand for long.</p><p>Heero smashed the bottom of his shoe into his opponent's thigh. Zechs grunted and apparently loosened his hold just enough. The former Zero pilot crunched his head into Zechs's skull. Relena's brother staggered back.</p><p>Duo scratched his head and cringed. "It may require shooting him dead. He's on fire."</p><p>"That may be--"</p><p>Duo blinked. And blinked again. Something about what he said was disconnecting between his mouth and his brain. Heero and Zechs, hands locked around the other's neck battled to see who could throttle the other. Considering the younger man's recent all-beer diet?"He's really on fire."</p><p>"There are two of you," Une's voice rose. "And both of you are former Gundam pilots. I'm expecting, no, I'm ordering--"</p><p>"Oh shit, he's on fire!" Duo dropped the phone and leapt across the room. "You're burning! You're burning! Heero!" He vaulted over the counter and into the kitchen. Duo flung Zechs aside, and wrested his friend away from the stove.</p><p>He beat on his friend's back. "Your shirt is on fire."</p><p>Heero struggled against him, still trying to land a punch to Zechs's face. "Go to hell."</p><p>Relena's brother stepped back. The former Deathscythe pilot finally got hold of his friend; he shoved Heero back several steps. The Preventer glowered.</p><p>"You're exasperating." Duo wound up and threw his whole body into a vicious right cross. He connected with Heero's cheek and the man's head slung back. Duo shoved his friend to the ground, took off his jacket, and put out the small, smoldering flame.</p><p>He rolled Heero upright on the kitchen floor. "There. You're---" His friend's eyes remained closed. He didn't move. "I think I knocked him out."</p><p>Zechs came and stood next to him. He peered down at the body. "Huh."</p><p>Duo blinked and looked down at his fist. "I knocked him out."</p><p>"So it appears."</p><p>"Ha ha! I knocked him out!" He smirked down at his unconscious friend. "My special punch, all for you. Buddy. Can't say I didn't warn ya."</p><p>"Celebration can wait. We should capitalize on this lucky break."</p><p>"Lucky break?" Duo held up his right fist and pointed to it with his left index finger. "It was all skill."</p><p>"Right." Zechs brought two fingers of each hand up to rub his temples. "But we can't exactly take him in to headquarters like this."</p><p>Duo looked down at Heero. Days worth of stubble had grown long enough to at least start a rumor he was trying to grow a goatee. Dark circles rimmed his eyes. His friend appeared thinner.</p><p>And then there was the smell? Duo pinched his nose to block it out. "No, they'd throw us in the brig with him for bringing in such an awful stench.Geez, how long has he been missing?"</p><p>Zechs sighed and leaned back against the counter. "Eight days. Why Lieutenant La Fllaga didn't bring it to our attention earlier?"</p><p>Duo turned around and stared at Relena's brother. "He's been sitting in here eight days, drinking beer and doing nothing but watching Relena. On 18 highly expensive, quite possibly stolen monitors. Does this qualify as heartbreak?"</p><p>"As close as someone like Heero gets."</p><p>Duo glanced over his shoulder at the fallen Preventer. "What do we do with him? He needs a shower, bad."</p><p>"He also needs some food. And water. He's probably dehydrated and suffering from early stages of malnutrition."</p><p>Duo turned back to look at Zechs. Relena's brother had a scowl on his face ? and a cut under his left eye.</p><p>The former Deathscythe pilot brought a hand up to the top of his head. "And even then, he was going to kill us both rather than let one of us come between him and his duty."</p><p>Zechs crossed the room to glare down at Heero. The toe of his shoe 'nudged' the younger man's ribs. "He could have, too."</p><p>"Yeah. I know." Duo decided he wanted to sit down, but needed to sit someplace far away from the stink-monster from beyond the deep. He settled for hoisting his butt on top of Heero's counter.</p><p>"I can admit: we're not prepared for this." Zechs turned in his direction; he held one hand up in an odd fist ? where the first finger formed a loose almost-circle with the thumb ? almost to his lips. It was a similar mannerism to Relena's 'I'm thinking' pose.</p><p>"Who will he listen to?"</p><p>Duo groaned. "The person who doesn't want to talk to him."</p><p>"Who else?"</p><p>"Quatre? Or Noin. Maybe Sally." He buried his face in his hands. "I don't know?." He looked up and made a face at Zechs. "Anyone but us, probably."</p><p>The older man rolled his eyes; he pulled out his cell phone and gave Heero another 'nudge' with the toe of his shoe. "I'll call Noin."</p><p>"And I'll start dragging his ugly ass towards the shower." He hopped down from the counter.</p><p>"But I'm not undressing him. He's going in there, burned holes in his shirt, gross jeans, and all."</p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade>Noin arrived to what should have been declared a national disaster area. And she wasn't sure those present could quite qualify as 'survivors'.
<p>Heero slumped over his one raised knee from his position on the floor. Blood dripped from his knuckles down the side of his hand, and from a wound on the left side of his head. Around him, what had to be at least a dozen LCD monitors were arranged around a central point - his laptop.</p><p>Across the room, her husband leaned back against the wall of the kitchen. He was out of breath and gasping for air. Duo lay not far from him - on his stomach, his arms struggling to raise his body off the ground. His left eye was starting to swell.</p><p>"Heero?"</p><p>He didn't respond. On the left-most monitor, Noin caught Relena's image as she walked across a hallway. Her profile appeared on the right-center screen. Noin shook her head.</p><p>"Heero."</p><p>The young man-- <i>'Wait a minute, is he wet? Ugh, he looks soaking wet.'</i> She sighed; Heero showed no sign that he even heard her.</p><p>"Sergeant Yuy."</p><p>"Hn." A grunt issued from what sounded like the back of his throat, but his eyes didn't move. They followed Relena's progression across the screen.</p><p>But the sound was?somewhat promising. Recognition that he heard her. She figured it was a long-shot talking to him in military terms - she was never sure if he'd been trained as an actual soldier. But, he wasn't responding to anything else?</p><p>Noin squared her shoulders, raised her head, and began shouting like back in the old days ? when she was a mobile suit pilot instructor for cadets.</p><p>"Sergeant. These barracks are a disaster. And quite frankly, you look like shit."</p><p>His head slowly - the movement was painfully slow - turned in her direction. Heero glared at her from the side of his eye, beneath dripping-wet hair.</p><p>"Is this any way to greet a commanding officer?"</p><p>The near-side corner of his mouth lifted. The Preventer growled.</p><p>"You have one hour, Sergeant, to get these barracks in order and clean yourself up. I want you showered, shaved, dressed, and this pig sty in order. Lieutenant Commander Merquise and Commander Maxwell will assist you. Do you understand these orders?"</p><p>Heero snarled; she saw his left hand clench into a tight fist.</p><p>She sent him what she hoped was still a stern look. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND THESE ORDERS, SERGEANT?"</p><p>He stood and spun in her direction; his eyes narrowed to mere slits, but his mouth uttered the words: "Yes. Sir."</p><p>"Dismissed."</p><p>The Preventer stomped off in the direction of his room.</p><p>"I can't believe that worked." Duo managed to struggle into a sitting position on the floor.</p><p>"It does make some sense." Zechs, now recovered, stood and crossed the room. He came closer, and opened his arms like he intended to embrace her. Noin pushed him away.</p><p>"You heard me. Get this place cleaned up."</p><p>Her husband's jaw dropped. "What?"</p><p>"You have your orders." She sent him the same glare she gave Heero.</p><p>"You've got to be kidding me." Duo's voice pitched higher into something like a man's version of a whine.</p><p>"This place is a?"</p><p>Noin shot him a scathing look.</p><p>The former Deathscythe pilot froze in the midst of standing up. "Yes ma'am."</p><p>A hand smoothed down her back and her husband tried to exploit her weakness. He breathed huskily in her ear. "You know how sexy I think you are wh--"</p><p>"I'm serious." She shoved Zechs away and ignored the incredulous look he gave her. "Get busy picking this place up, or there will be hell to pay when you get home."</p><p>Her husband scowled, but turned away and began picking up the bottles, cans, boxes, and discarded electronic components strewn about the room.</p><p>Noin crossed her arms and couldn't help but smirk. "Amateurs."</p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade><p><b>5 minutes later?</b></p>
<p>It wasn't a gigantic pile of clothing, but it was easy to guess that it probably consisted of all the former Gundam pilot owned. Three tank tops, four pairs of jeans - all in various stages of wear-and-tear; six t-shirts, seven pairs of socks, and five pairs of underwear. Noin sighed. "Relena, if you knew how big of a mess he was right now?"</p><p>She picked up one of his tank tops with the tips of two fingers and held it at arms' length, but the smell was overpowering. "How lost he is without you?"</p><p>The former Oz Lieutenant shook her head and pitched the article of clothing back into the pile. "He needs something clean to put on his sorry butt."</p><p>She turned and stepped out of Heero's room and headed back towards the front door of the apartment. The other two boys were still muttering under their breaths and picking stuff off the floor.</p><p>"Ugh. What the hell is this?" Duo exclaimed.</p><p>Noin didn't bother to look. From the sound of it, she just didn't want to know. "Just put it in the garbage and keep picking up."</p><p>"Yes, sir."</p><p>Noin continued passed the living room and into the entryway. But froze at the door.</p><p>"And geez, just what's with her, anyway?"</p><p>She backed up and stuck her head back in the living room. Zechs was scrubbing at something on the carpet while Duo dragged a large black trashbag around the space, picking stuff up, and jamming it into the plastic sack. He looked oh-so-happy to be doing it with the deep scowl etched into his face.</p><p>"Is it that time of the--"</p><p>"Duo Maxwell, I can hear you."</p><p>The former Deathscythe pilot looked up and she could see his adam's apple bob in his throat when he gulped. Noin spun on her heel and started back towards the door.</p><p>"She's going to kill me."</p><p>"If you're lucky." She heard her husband grumble.</p><p>"I'm going to go buy him something wearable so we don't have to wait for his clothes to wash." She called out from the entryway.</p><p>"They need to be burned anyway," Duo shouted back.</p><p>Noin shook her head. "Probably."</p><p>"No, seriously, did you catch a whiff of that stink?" Duo popped his head around the wall separating the living room from the foyer. "I didn't know anyone could smell that bad."</p><p>"It's the beer," Zechs said as he joined the conversation ? and the gathering in the entryway. "This stuff is stout. I think it congeals at room temperature."</p><p>Noin rolled her eyes. "You all smell that bad. Especially you two after you've been working all day under a car." She reached for the doorknob and pulled open the door.</p><p>"And Relena and I really DID burn the clothes you worked in after you were done." She turned and stepped out the door. But she didn't get it closed before her husband's forlorn-sounding voice slipped outside behind her.</p><p>"That's what happened to my favorite shirt?"</p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade> <p>Heero stared into the mirror as he rubbed the foam over his chin and around the edges of his mouth, under his nose and up his jaw line. Though, the word 'rubbed' indicated a much more fluid motion than the patting and scraping it took to get the shaving cream over the five day old beard. His eyes, despite the hot shower, were still bloodshot, and the desire to drop to the floor and die still didn't sound like a bad option?</p><p><i>'She's happier without me.'</i></p><p>His mind replayed the many instances over the last week - of her smiling, of her laughing or grinning. Usually at something Trowa said, but there were also many instances of what appeared to be happiness when she spoke with her host family, other Colony diplomats?.</p><p>Too many of them were men.</p><p>Nights, however, were always the worst. It was no wonder that Alan had started a fight. If Heero could have screwed up the face of the man who had made Relena cry, he would have.</p><p>Unfortunately, he was looking at the already-screwed-up face in the mirror. Complete with greenish white shaving cream beard.</p><p>-</p><p><i>Relena stood in her hotel room, too close to the window for her to be safe. Her bodyguards should have told her she wasn't allowed to pull the drapes like that and stand so close--</i></p><p><i>"Heero?"</i></p><p><i>The Preventer's ears pricked up. Her lips moved again, and he had to wait for the sound to catch up - he could read her lips, but the delayed sound always messed up his translation; it often times changed the context of her speech as well.</i></p><p><i>"I still miss you." Her right hand came to rest on the fabric of the curtain. "Why?"</i></p><p><i>"You're the one who left, Relena. You tell me why."</i></p><p><i>Her face crumpled and her hand on the drapes tightened. Tears streamed down her cheeks.</i></p><p><i>"Relena?"</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>"Here's some fresh underwear and t-shirts." Noin's voice sounded from his room. The bathroom door was open.</p><p>"I also bought you-- Dear God!" Noin turned her back towards him and faced into his bedroom.</p><p>Heero turned his attention back to the mirror. And making sure he had enough shaving cream on his face to avoid razor burn. "What?"</p><p>"Do you not have a towel or anything you can wear?" Her voice sounded louder than it needed to be. They were in the same room?</p><p>He caught her eyes in the mirror; she blushed and looked away.</p><p>"No." Heero glanced down; he'd forgotten that he was standing there, nude, in front of his sink - shaving while he dripped-dry on the floor mat.</p><p>"Oh for crying out loud!" Noin huffed and stomped away. It sounded like she went all the way through the bedroom and back out into the hall.</p><p>The Preventer shrugged. <i>'Nothing she hasn't seen before. I'm sure Zechs?Disengage. Just disengage.' </i>He glanced back at his reflection and reached to pick up his razor. Heero dragged the blade over his skin in an upward motion ? from his chin to his cheekbone.</p><p>-</p><p><i>"You're running away, Relena." Trowa said from his position sitting too close to her in the backseat of her car.</i></p><p><i>"I'm not." She looked away from her substitute bodyguard. "I'm distancing myself from things?someone who is painful to be around right now."</i></p><p><i>"Including me? Including your brother?" He grabbed her chin and turned her head back to look at him. "Are you going to shut everyone out because Heero's an incompetent asshole who can't figure out how to love you?"</i></p><p><i>"It's not--"</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>"Here!" Something fluffy hit him in the backside and slipped down his leg to the floor. Heero dropped the razor into the sink; he scowled and turned to pick up a?</p><p>Pink towel?</p><p>"Oh for heaven's sake. It's a nice ass, Heero, but put a towel around it. It's been a long time since I've had to run a dormitory with a bunch of pilots-in-training running about with no shorts on all the time. It wasn't one of the perks of my job, you know."</p><p>"You're a soldier. And you forget. I've heard you and Sally talking."</p><p>"I was single then."</p><p>Heero finished wrapping the towel around his waist and knotted it. "I was never trained as a soldier."</p><p>"Oh?" She leaned against the right hand side of the doorframe.</p><p>"No." He turned back around and grabbed his razor out of the sink. "Assassin, mercenary?" Heero continued shaving. "I don't always take orders." He turned on the tap and ran water over his razor to wash off the shaving cream, then returned to the task at hand?</p><p>"So I've noticed." She crossed her arms and shot him a dark look. "But I suppose what you're telling me is that you didn't have to obey."</p><p>"Hn." He finished the right side of his face.</p><p>"So then, why did you?"</p><p>"Two reasons." He moved on to the left side.</p><p>"Okay?"</p><p>"One: because I know you always want what's best for Relena." Heero finished shaving the left side of his face; he rinsed out his razor.</p><p>"And the other reason?"</p><p>He met her eyes in the mirror and smirked. "Because I figured it would piss off Zechs and Duo. To have to admit a woman beat them." He stepped passed her into his room; the Preventer kept his eyes on the wall ? and away from his bed.</p><p>Noin called after him: "That was a very Wufei thing to say, Heero!"</p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade><p>With the apartment in better shape ? at least resembling something a human could inhabit ? and a Heero Yuy who even looked somewhat human himself, Noin figured it was time to start plying for answers. Her interrogatee sat on the couch, still facing the sad display of monitors. He didn't appear to be watching what was on screen any longer, but Noin knew that didn't mean the former Gundam pilot wasn't still, somehow, absorbing every detail?Every move Relena made.
<p>The former Oz Lieutenant crossed her arms and stood between Heero and the monitors. "You've been missing for eight days from your post."</p><p>"I've been?" He lifted his head; his gaze inched up to meet hers. "?working from home."</p><p>Noin glared. "So I see." She began to pace the small space between Heero's couch and the stadium-seating arrangement of security screens. "The Colonel, however, did not approve the change in venue nor your authorization to these video feeds." She paused and raked her eyes over the former Zero pilot. "You hacked in."</p><p>Heero crossed his arms and looked away.</p><p>The overwhelming urge to strangle him caught her around her ribcage and made it difficult to breathe. She counted to ten under her breath before trying again. "Heero. Why don't you just admit--"</p><p>"Admit what?" His expression was blank. He moved his right hand from the arm of the couch to rest on top of his thigh. The former Zero pilot blinked in what looked like slow motion.</p><p>Duo moved from his position near the kitchen counter towards the center of the conversation. Zechs leaned against the wall of windows that led to the balcony.</p><p>"Admit that?" Noin cleared her throat before continuing. "?that you're in love with her."</p><p>"I'm not," Heero said in a tone of voice like someone had asked in the middle of a poker tournament if he was bluffing.</p><p>Duo slapped one hand to his forehead. "OH PLEASE!"</p><p>Noin felt like slapping him to the floor.</p><p>"I don't deny that there's something?" Heero spoke while apparently staring at nothing, like he was in a trance. "I never intended to want to be near her, to miss?"</p><p>He blinked. "It doesn't matter."</p><p>"It does matter. You don't think it matters to her how you feel?"<br>
She could see his jaw protrude where it connected with his skull.</p><p>"If it mattered," red blotches appeared on his cheeks, "she wouldn't have left!" His hand gripped the arm of the couch so hard his knuckles turned white. Heero looked like he was gasping for air.</p><p>"You're hurt?" Noin moved and sunk down beside him. He scowled and looked down at the floor.</p><p>"You really are hurt." She touched his arm. "That's why being in your room bothers you - you're reminded of her, and you're feeling emotional pain."</p><p>Heero stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I wasn't aware that emotional pain could manifest into physical symptoms."</p><p>"It can. That's how come people cry or laugh. Biologists can't explain why humans express emotion in these ways. That's why it's attributed to the human soul."</p><p>He turned around. "I don't believe in that."</p><p>"Maybe not, but you are human. And you don't have to believe in a soul to have one."</p><p>Heero scowled.</p><p>"Admit you're hurt."</p><p>"Fine. I'm hurt." His eyebrows formed a peak in the center of his forehead. "Will that bring her back?"</p><p>"No, but it's a first step." She gave him a smile.</p><p>Heero spun away to face the monitors again. Noin stood from her seat on the couch. "She doesn't plan on coming back for a while. Not?" She laid a hand on his shoulder. "Not until she's over you."</p><p>He grabbed her hand and wrenched it from his arm. Heero whirled around. His face contorted; red and white streaks marred the skin of his cheeks. "SHE LEFT. I didn't leave her."</p><p>His grip on Noin's hand felt like he was trying to crush her fingers. She yanked it away.</p><p>"I was going to marry her, spend my life protecting her. It's the only thing--"</p><p>"That gives your life meaning?"</p><p>Heero bowed his head.</p><p>"You're in love with her."</p><p>"I'm not." His voice left with a sharp exhalation of air. "I'm not in--"</p><p>"You're just being stubborn, dammit!"</p><p>"I'm not in love with her." He glared up at her from under his bangs. "I can't be--"</p><p>Heat pulsed through her body and her pulse quickened. Of all the stubborn, mulish men in the world?</p><p>"You have nothing else you care about, nothing else to focus on!" She gestured at the collection of monitors in the center of the room. "For Christ's sake, Heero, you're watching her twenty-four seven, miserable without her, drinking away the pain!"</p><p>"I can't be in love with her. I--"</p><p>She stomped her foot. "I saw what you did to your bedroom! I saw the disaster - the things you've thrown around this apartment, the anger is as plain as day on your face. If you didn't--"</p><p>"I can't be in love with her." He turned his head and she saw him close his eyes. "You don't--"</p><p>Noin took a step forward. "If you didn't love her, you wouldn't be hurt that she left. If you didn't care--"</p><p>His head snapped up. "I CARE ABOUT HER, BUT I CAN'T LOVE HER." Wild, blue eyes stared at her. For a second, she thought?she thought he looked like he might?</p><p>And then all the emotion was gone.</p><p>"And why can't you."</p><p>Heero seethed through clenched teeth. "The definition of love is to have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude towards another, or to show love or great care. Neither of these definitions equates to anything comprehensible to me and I've searched every dictionary I could find for some sort of meaning that makes sense!" He ran a hand through his hair and threw himself down on the couch. "What kind of a lousy definition contains the word being defined I want to know?" He yelled at the palms of his hands before digging his fingers in his dark brown hair.</p><p>"You?The reason the dictionary reads that way is because no one can adequately find the words to define love."</p><p>He slumped forward and rested his elbows on his knees.</p><p>"Most people?well, that is, some people experience the emotion and instantly know, can identify what it is."</p><p>She heard a door open and looked up in time to see her husband disappear out the balcony door.</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"They?" She tilted her head down and tried to peer into Heero's. "Do you want me to go into a scientific rationalization? Will that help?"</p><p>He sat up. "Can't hurt."</p><p>Duo flopped onto the floor in front of the couch. "I say we just throw in the towel and pull the plug," he said with a deadly-looking smirk.</p><p>"What pl?"</p><p>She could feel Heero bristle from a foot away. "I'm not. A robot."</p><p>"You act like one."</p><p>"Fuck off."</p><p>"Oh yeah? I already knocked you out cold, once, wanna try for two?"</p><p>Noin sighed. "That's enough you two. Duo. Stop talking."</p><p>Heero snorted.</p><p>"When humans are born?"</p><p>He shot her a look that said 'If I was an assassin, you'd be dead by now'.</p><p>"I am human."</p><p>Noin shook her head. "I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be funny." She smiled at him.</p><p>"When people are born, as babies, they experience the love of their mother, their father, their siblings?"</p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade><p>The door banged shut, and Heero felt his stomach drop. Every muscle in his body tensed. Plastic bags rustled from the entryway, followed by the sound of Duo's voice: "Honey, I'm home!"
<p>"Where's an automatic when I need one?"</p><p>"I brought food, since Heero didn't seem to be expecting company and did not prepare appropriate munchies. And?I hit paydirt."</p><p><i>'This can't be good.'</i></p><p>To prove the point, Duo rounded the corner grinning ear to ear. "I say we eat first, quiz second."</p><p>Heero frowned. "Quiz?"</p><p>"This is pathetic." Noin sighed.</p><p>"But, if it helps!" Duo raised a fist in the air. "Pathetic we shall be."</p><p>Zechs groaned but didn't say anything intelligible. Heero had no idea what these 'love quiz' things were that Duo kept saying Hilde subjected him to all the time, but he supposed that anything was worth investigation?</p><p><i>'Especially if it will bring Relena back.'</i></p><p><i>"She doesn't plan on coming back for a while. Not?not until she's over you."</i></p><p>Movement flickered on one of the monitors set up on his make-shift control station. He turned his attention to the screen.</p><p>Relena had just stepped away from the podium, and was walking towards stage left. Light reflected off something that looked like water on her left cheek, but her lips were arranged around her teeth into a smile. She glanced to her right, at someone she must have recognized. Heero moved his gaze to the correct monitor. <i>'Of course. Trowa.'</i></p><p><i>Was it ok?</i> Her mouth moved. The idiots who had shown up to annoy him had turned off the sound. He could still kill them?</p><p>-</p><p><i>I'd rather go back to the hotel. I'm really tired.</i></p><p>Heero couldn't see Trowa's part of the conversation, but he could usually guess?</p><p><i>I'm fine. </i></p><p>'You're not fine.'</p><p><i>I know, you remind me of that just about hourly, I think.</i></p><p>'It's the truth.'</p><p><i>I really will be okay. I know that. And I think I can do some good here.</i></p><p>'Or maybe?maybe I just wish it were.'</p><p>-</p><p>He closed his eyes and bowed his head. All the energy drained from his body and he felt like he could just collapse on the floor. He took a deep breath and brought his hands up to press against both sides of his head.</p><p>SQUISH! Something soft collided with his shoulder, and then the floor.</p><p>"Incoming!" Duo's warning was about two hours too late.</p><p>Heero glanced up and stared at the food-tossing idiot.</p><p>He grinned and tucked one arm behind his head. "Woops?"</p><p>The Preventer glared at the wax paper-wrapped burger lying on its side. Fatigue was quickly replaced with an overwhelming desire to kill Duo.</p><p>"Give me." A muscle twitched in his right shoulder. "ONE reason." He ground his teeth together and stood up. "Not to murder you."</p><p>Duo took a giant step back. "Because I brought food?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Because I'm here to help?"</p><p>"You're not."</p><p>"Because?" He looked away and seemed to scan the counter for something. He leapt for the plastic bag he brought back.</p><p>"Because I hold in my hand, the power to prove your love to Relena." The overly-optimistic-thinks-he's-hysterical-but-is-really-a-pain-in-the-ass former Deathscythe pilot was back to smiling.</p><p>Heero crossed his arms. "Alleged."</p><p>His friend's face crumbled. "Alleged?"</p><p>"Alleged 'love' for Relena." He sat back down and snagged the burger off the floor. "You believe I'm in love with her. I believe I am not."</p><p>Duo stomped over to the kitchen table and tossed the sack of mystery items on its surface. He leaned down and got right in Heero's face. The Preventer didn't flinch. He wouldn't give the idiot the satisfaction.</p><p>"I believe you're being purposely dense. That you keep saying you don't know how to love her because you're afraid she doesn't really love you in return." His breath was hot and smelled of onions. But before he could shove his 'friend' away, Duo stood up.</p><p>"But that could just be me."</p><p>"It's not." Zechs's deep voice spoke for the first time since their earlier altercation.</p><p>"No, I'm afraid I agree with Duo on that, too," Noin said with a laugh.</p><p>Heero grit his teeth; he could feel the hot blood pulsing through his head.</p><p>Duo picked up the bag from the table and held it out at arms length. The Preventer watched it swing from side to side before glancing up into his friend's smirking face.</p><p>"And I'm going to prove it to you."</p>

[freelight01]

That must be, the most scarist, irrantic, strangest chapter i have EVER read!

and you know what? i loved every minute of it!!!

but poor heero!! or should that be duo? he always seems to be at the bad end of heero's death threats *shakes head in dismay* LOL

anyway, i can't wait to see what happens next!! and i want more relena and trowa action!! *hides from the glare of 1xR fans* hey, i am heero and relena fan too!!! i just don't mind a little trowa and relena goodness!!!

^_- lol

[The Angry Angel]

HUH!!! :evil:

Noin got to see Heero's tooshie?! I'm so jealous!

If I were in Noin's position, I'd feign clumsiness and take a good pass at what I imagine is a tight, muffin butt! You know, swat at it?

Woo-wee! And then I'd take that shaving cream--whipped cream would be more appropriate--and make a speedo! Is that pushing it?

Thank you, Rose!

[pilot03]

Stinky Heero...LMAO!!! Love will do strange things to people. Keep up the good work ma'am warlord.

[Morrighan]

You're such a suck-up.

I think you already saw the two other reviews I left on other sites.... ^_^

Love, love, love, love, love this chapter. And Noin kicks ass. ^_^

[sitboy007]

Best line ever: "The Preventer shrugged. 'Nothing she hasn't seen before. I'm sure Zechs?Disengage. Just disengage."

Really great chapter. Nion is amazing.

Heero = yummy

Stinky druken Heero = not yummy

Poor guy.

Cant wait for the next chapter.

[matisleonhart]

Oh fuck, Lord Jesus pray for this child!

[star fighter]

:razz: :razz: This chapter was so funny. Heero, Duo and Zechs were hilarious. Noin was great too. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter

[Wingnut]

This is why we love Noin so much. I lack the words to say just how good that was and there are not approperate emoticons to express my feelings at certain points of the chapter. "Amateurs" indeed.

[perfectpeach]

power to the women!

Dude, this was a long chappie. @_@

Yet, a very very amusing one! made me giggle. A nice start to a perfect weekend.