Ok, first of all, a massive apology for not updating sooner. My internet is shite, to say the least, and hasn't been working for about a month, but also i've just been horribly busy.
anyways, this chapter is 12 pages in Microsoft word, and to be fair, i did ask you people if you wanted it in one or two parts, and you said one. So here it is, ALL 6000 WORDS OF IT lol I don't even know if one page can hold that much...oh dear.
right, here we go, lemon at the end of this chapter and my first one at that, so give me a break if it's a bit crap
oh dear...here we go...*winces*
enjoy
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Relena had barely seen anyone for 3 months. She had also barely spoken to anyone since she had come out of hospital, and the only thing she asked for there was to see Heero. She hadn?t managed to.
It turned out that after she had passed out from utter exhaustion, shock and pain, she and Heero were found. They had been locked in the basement of an old, abandoned school just outside the city.
The voices she had heard prior to her fainting were those of her neighbour, whom she barely knew, and the officers that were accompanying her. Her neighbour had been slightly perturbed when she had seen Relena being sped out of the parking lot with a stranger who had shouted at her to get in her car. She had called the police a few minutes later, only to find that they were already investigating a sudden car crash involving her vehicle. Through footage of the crash from CCTV, they managed to track the car Caan had been driving. God knows how they had traced it to the school.
Relena had been in hospital for a week afterwards. The cuts on her neck and lower abdomen caused some initial worry, but she was told they would heal in time.
She almost cried when her doctor told her that her scars would always be visible.
Almost.
Heero had been in there a lot longer. He had been in bad shape when they found him. He?d lost a lot of blood, had broken several ribs and had suffered a number of head injuries. Fortunately, everything could be treated.
Relena brushed her perfectly un-knotted hair and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was pale, her eyes lost to the memories flashing before them. She hadn?t been to work for the last three months; nobody would let her go back. That was because no-one understood.
No-one understood that when her mind was left to wander, when she wasn?t distracted by anything, her thoughts would always settle on that night. She always heard his laugh, saw his face as he lay there dying? by her hands. The noises she heard, digging the knife again and again into his flesh?the look he gave her?his eyes?
His smile?
She dropped the brush as she fell forward onto her dresser. She had never cried when she thought about it, she had only felt weak, helpless, like she was back in that room all over again.
She didn?t know how long she stayed like that. Time didn?t seem to have any meaning for her anymore. Each day passed without her being aware of it. She would wander aimlessly around her apartment, not knowing what to do with herself.
She was completely alone.
When she wasn?t thinking about what she?d done, she thought about Heero. She wondered how he was, whether he was still in pain. She didn?t even know if he was out of hospital yet. She began to ask herself if she even wanted to see him again?
Or if he would ever want to see her?
She stood up and walked out of her bedroom into the sitting room. She needed to take her mind off the memories swimming around in her head, struggling to surface yet again.
She flopped onto the sofa and switched on the TV, hoping something would distract her. There was something on about dolphins, another channel had a very shrivelled woman telling someone they needed to go on a diet; another had a black and white film on. Eventually, she flicked the power button off.
Who was she kidding? She would never forget. The feeling would never leave her.
The numbness?
The emptiness?
She touched the side of her neck tentatively, feeling the raised skin where a scar had formed.
No?
She would never forget?
Countless people had told her she had done the right thing. They had told her she had no other choice. It was a ?kill or be killed? situation according to everyone. Self defence. Her only chance. He deserved to die.
Then why did she feel so unclean?
Like she would never wash the blood from her hands?
Like his smile would never leave her?
She shuddered without realising. Wrapping her cardigan around herself more tightly, she stood up, walked into her bathroom and turned the shower on. She had been washing so much recently, her flawless skin was almost fluorescent.
After removing her clothes quickly, she stepped into the flow of steaming hot water. She exhaled a large breath, revelling in the relaxation she felt at that exact moment. She continued to wash herself, her hair ? every inch of her skin.
Then she heard something.
A faint knocking sound. Actually, it was becoming a lot louder. She hastily rinsed off the remaining soap and shampoo from her body, stepped out of the shower and grabbed the rather flimsy looking bath robe on the door.
It would be a lie to state that she wasn?t afraid of answering the door. Even the knocking sound had caused her heart to stop beating momentarily. She tried to fight the constant paranoia, but she just couldn?t. Her mind was a maze of ?what ifs?.
As she came out of the bathroom, the knocking stopped abruptly. Before she could even sigh in relief, it started again, and this time with increased impatience.
Hadn?t people heard she wanted to be by herself? Had someone not told this person outside her door that she didn?t want to see anyone?
They have to stop knocking eventually?
She waited for quite a while, but still the knocking continued. She?d had enough; if this person wasn?t smart enough to figure it out on their own, she?d just have to tell them.
It?s probably just some stupid cleaner or something?
At 9 o?clock in the evening? Who are you kidding?
Look, I?m just talking to them, it?s not like I?m unlocking the door or anything.
Her mind seemed to be arguing with itself. Maybe everyone was right...maybe she was going crazy. She shook her head, hoping it would clear the pointless thoughts.
She took a deep breath and swallowed.
?He?Hello?? She tried to speak over the loud knocking. It stopped. ?Sorry, but please go away...? her shaky voice was as loud as possible.
The knocker remained silent, though she could hear a very audible sigh outside the door.
?Relena, it?s me. Open the door. Please.?
Relena?s eyes widened. She didn?t breathe. It was?he was here? But?why? Why would he want to see her after-
?Relena??
She jumped a little at the impatience in Heero?s voice. Her mouth opened slightly, ready to say something, yet no words came.
?I know you?re standing on the other side of the door, don?t try and pretend like you?ve just disappeared?Relena, please open up??
Didn?t he understand? Did he not understand that all she wanted to do was disappear? To never think or feel or remember anything ever again?to just fade away into the nothingness she felt inside herself, into to the emptiness she would always feel?
?Why are you here, Heero?? She leant back against the door, running a hand through her wet hair and closing her eyes.
?I want to talk to you?? He said after a moment. ?I haven?t seen you since-? He stopped. They both knew how long it had been since they had seen each other. The words weren?t necessary. ?Relena, please?can I at least look at you? I just want to know you?re alright?? She heard another sigh from the other side of the door, ?please??
?I?m fine.? She muttered, ?There. You can go now.?
There was silence for a few moments.
?You should know by now, Relena, that just because you don?t open the door, does not mean I won?t come in there.?
Relena opened her eyes. Oh shit! He?s gonna break my door! Oh SHIT! He?s gonna see me in this!
?Ok, ok...? She backed away from the door, eyeing it suspiciously. ?Um?just?uh?wait there for a second, I-?
She heard locks being undone from outside.
?He?Heero what are you doing?! Since when did you have a key to this place?!? She shouted through the door.
It opened. She retreated back even further, until her legs almost touched the arm of the sofa.
?I?ve had it ever since you moved in?? He came in and without looking up at her, turned around and locked the door again. After he had done so, he turned to face her and continued, ?I am your bodyguard, remem-?
Heero?s eyes widened as they finally settled on her.
?-ber??
Relena hastily looked down at what she was wearing. The thin, translucent black fabric of the dressing gown trailed down to the floor, but above where it had been tied at the waist it hung quite loosely, of course not showing anything but the scar down the centre of her chest. Still, Heero swallowed as he noted how the garment clung to her damp skin.
Relena did not let the blush she felt rising settle on her pale cheeks. She pulled the fabric around herself more, closing her eyes and recalling that Heero had infact seen much more than this?
She shuddered at the memory.
Heero blinked and forced himself to concentrate on why he?d come here. He looked at her face, but noted how she had closed her eyes, and how she was shivering.
?Relena?? He walked forward quickly, his features forming a worried frown. ?Relena, what?s wrong?? He put his hands on her upper arms, but she flinched at his touch and moved away as if he had burnt her.
?Don?t touch me?? she whispered as she retreated back. Her eyes had opened, though her gaze was fixed on the floor.
?Relena-?
?Why are you here?? She asked him again, aggression in her voice this time, the forgotten sting of tears behind her eyes. She looked up at him. She noted how his hair was longer than it had been?There were no visible scars on his face.
His face?that face?
?no, it hadn?t changed a bit.
His eyes searched hers.
?I told you?? He said quietly, stepping closer to her. ?I wanted to see you?to talk to you?I-?
?Oh, and what are we going to talk about?!? She shouted, ?I wonder?let?s see?how about how you got tortured?or hmm, um, threatened with my life, perhaps?!? She screamed at him, closing the space between them, not even thinking about what she was saying, ??oh no, actually, let?s talk about how I-?
?How did you know the code?? he asked quietly, interrupting her with ease. Relena?s mouth stayed open, ready to continue, but she didn?t. She just blinked, surprised at the choice of question he had asked. She looked down again.
?I wouldn?t be much use if I didn?t know the code to it, would I? It was the first thing I did when I assumed this role. I spent a long time burning that number into my mind?? Her eyes caught his again. She was surprised to see his mouth curled slightly at one edge?he was smiling.
?I should have known I wasn?t the only one who knew?? He spoke softly.
?Well it wouldn?t have done any good would it? It would just make you even more neurotic about my safety, right?? She folded her arms. Heero?s smile fell. His intense eyes seemed to lose some of their fire.
?It seems I can?t keep you safe no matter how hard I try?? He looked away from her, his low voice now barely audible.
Relena?s arms fell to her sides.
?You kept me safe, Heero?? She tried to assure him.
?We both know that?s a lie, Relena? He looked up at her again, his voice no longer weak, but filled with anger. It only took Relena a moment to realise the anger was directed towards himself. ??It was my fault-?
?It wasn?t your fault?remember?? She interrupted him, ?It was mine...It was my fault he found you?I was your?your?? She hesitated for a moment?
??weakness??
A familiar, almost comforting silence passed between them.
?Heero, I?? Relena began, but realised she couldn?t find her voice to continue. Heero was staring at her. God how she hated that stare. It was like he was reading her mind?like her every thought was being processed by him. She could feel his eyes boring into her, feel their sharpness piercing her, feel their heat scalding her. When he looked at her that way, she found she had to stop whatever she was doing. She found that she infact could not think, so therefore wondered how Heero could be reading her mind at all.
His expression was unreadable, as always. She didn?t know if he was ever going to say anything; she didn?t know if she wanted him to say anything.
?Do you remember the day that I told you I knew?? the sudden sound of his voice made Relena jump. It took her a while to process what he had just asked.
?I?? Relena?s eyes were wide.
Jesus, why is it I seem to forget how to speak when I?m with him?
?I?? thinking that there couldn?t possibly be anything she could say to make the situation any worse, she simply went with, ?I?don?t know..?
Oh God, why do we have to talk about it?
She turned away, walking over to the large window that took up most of the wall. Her thoughts went to how she would love to just jump through it?
?You don?t know?? She had rarely heard such a sceptic tone in his voice, ?What kind of an answer is that, Relena??
She heard him step closer to her on the soft carpet. Not knowing if he wanted an answer, she simply sighed, hoping the subject would miraculously be dropped.
?I remember it.? He continued, quietly. ?I remember you denied you felt anything for me??
Relena winced as he spoke. She turned to face him.
?Heero...I didn?t-?
?Relena?? His cold voice echoed around the room. He took a step forward. ?I?ve heard enough lies to last me a lifetime??
Another step.
?Don?t lie to me.?
His words caused painful memories to rack through her. She heard Caan?s voice screaming the same words in her ear.
She closed her eyes and covered her ears, taking a step back from him. She started shaking her head. ?Stop, please stop!? She screamed. Images of him, of Caan, tore through her. His face flooded her mind. She could hear his laugh, hear his screams, see his smile. She could see Heero, covered in his own blood. She remembered how the fire in his eyes had died, how he seemed to die with it.
?Relena!? Heero sprung forward and took hold of her shoulders, ?Relena?! It?s ok, it?s me! Relena!? He shook her surprisingly hard, ?Snap out of it! Relena!?
____
Relena opened her eyes. Expecting a very agitated Heero to be standing in front of her, she was surprised to find herself in her own bed. She groaned, realising it had been a dream. She couldn?t believe it?now her own dreams seemed to be mocking her sanity. Her heavy lidded eyes scanned the room. Abruptly, they shot wide open.
Her gaze had settled on Heero sitting on a chair facing her, next to her bed. She felt the ghost of a smile pass her lips when she realised he was sleeping. It was such a rare thing for her to smile these days, she appreciated that it was Heero who made her do so.
She was relieved that she hadn?t been dreaming. She had wanted to see Heero for so long, though she hadn?t seemed to let herself realise it until he had forced her to see him. She wondered how she had ended up where she was, in bed. The last thing she remembered was him telling her?
Oh?
Relena groaned inwardly and fell back on her pillows. She supposed she had fainted again. God knows how many times she had done that in the last few months?
She turned her head towards him. She had never seen him sleeping before. He had never seemed more beautiful to her. His features, usually held with such tension it seemed they would crack, were charmingly relaxed. His mouth was slightly open, Relena could hear his breathing from where she was. Stray locks of thick brown hair fell before his eyes. She longed to get up and smooth them out of the way. She?d never had so much time to study his face in such a way, she wanted to see every single part of it.
Her gaze drifted to his mouth again. She noted the shape of his lips, their colour, their soft texture?well, what she had imagined was their soft texture, they certainly looked soft. The amount of times she had imagined them on her?
She forced herself to turn over on her pillow, not wanting to let her thoughts drift any further in that direction, even though she preferred that direction to any other.
Relena supposed she had better get up. She sat up on the edge of her bed and gasped when she remembered what she was wearing. The thin black, almost see-through fabric was all crumpled, as she had expected. She couldn?t believe Heero had seen her in such a thing, she blushed just thinking about it.
She stretched as she stood up, realising that she hadn?t actually slept that well since?since before. She was just reaching for the door of her wardrobe when she heard movement from the other side of the room.
Relena turned around to see Heero standing up next to the chair he had previously been sleeping on, hastily smoothing down his clothes. He looked up when he felt her gaze on him.
?Good morning?? He said quietly. She had to hold back a smile, noting how dishevelled he looked. She mentally shook herself as her thoughts strayed to how it only served to make him more attractive.
?Good morning, Heero.? She replied, wrapping her dressing gown tighter around herself.
Yea, like that?s actually going to stop it being SEE-THROUGH, Relena?
?I, uh?I apologise for fainting or whatever I did before in there?? She rubbed her arms in an attempt to rid herself of the goosebumps that had formed on them. She soon realised that they weren?t there because it was cold?
?That?s Ok?? He waved a hand as if to shake off the apology. He was about to say something else when he paused a moment, a look of slight confusion gracing his features. ?Are you cold or something??
?ehehehe?heh?? Relena laughed nervously. Noting the look of confusion that still lingered on his face, she realised she actually hadn?t answered his question, so added hastily, ?yea, I guess I am actually??
It was too late to deny it by the time he had walked over to her. She inhaled sharply when he brought his face close to hers. He smelled fantastic.
?Can I do anything to warm you up?? his low voice sent shivers down her spine.
Relena didn?t think that he had ever asked a question quite like that before. Their gaze locked for a moment before she swallowed and simply replied, ?uh??
As if coming out of a dream, she realised he could not have possibly meant what she thought he had meant. She shook her head, attempting to clear it, and took a step back from him so her back was against the door of her large wardrobe.
?I don?t think so, Heero. I?ll?I?ll be fine.? She ran a hand through her long hair and looked away from him.
She could have sworn something passed through Heero?s eyes at that moment, but she couldn?t tell what it was. Probably anger at the fact he couldn?t help her with something.
?I think you uh?I think you?d better go, Heero.? She said quietly, her voice unsteady for some reason. "It was nice of you to see how I was...but I think I need to...Heero?" She looked up at him, only to find him looking away from her. She noticed how his fists were clenched at his sides. His brow was creased?in anger?
?Why are you doing this?? He asked her in a level tone, his voice betraying no emotion. His eyes locked on hers once more. Relena thought she might have collapsed, had it not been for the door behind her. His eyes?were filled with?pain. The pain she had seen not so long ago?
?Why are you doing this?!? He shouted, his voice now filled with anger. Not able to stand his gaze any longer, she looked away again.
?Doing what?-?
?Don?t bullshit me, Relena!? His voice made her flinch. Relena felt her back touch the wardrobe as he stepped towards her. ?You know exactly what you?re doing! So tell me why!?
She opened her mouth, but he interrupted her before she could make an excuse.
?Tell me why you?re doing this! Why you are denying everything when you already know how I feel!?
Relena swallowed.
?How you?how you feel?? she whispered, more to herself than to him.
?Yes, how I feel?about you?? he sounded exasperated, as if he was close to just giving up on everything. Giving up on her...
She could feel herself doing it again. She could feel herself wanting to push him away?She could feel fear welling up inside her.
?Why?why do you care so much about feelings?? She found herself asking him. She noted how he began to shake his head in disbelief at what she was asking.
?What are you-? He started.
?Why do you want to know how I feel?!? Her voice was getting louder, ?Why do care so much?!? She locked her eyes onto his, building herself up to ask the question she had wanted to ask for so long.
?Why do you care about me?! WHY?!?
All the air left her lungs as she was pushed up against the door of the wardrobe. Heero had his arms either side of her.
?Because I love you! Remember, Relena? I love you!? He shouted as he pinned her to the door. He was breathing heavily. She could only stare at him in disbelief. She realised that he wasn?t being threatened, he wasn?t being forced, nobody was telling him to say it?yet?he said it.
?I love you?? He whispered helplessly again, putting his head beside hers, ?and?I don?t want to lose the only person I?ve ever loved??
Relena felt tears run down her face. Her eyes were wide with shock. This couldn?t be real. This couldn?t possibly be real?but?
She felt the length of his whole body up against her. She felt his heat. She felt every single part of him. She brought her hands up and laid them on his chest; over his heart. She could feel every pulse of life beating through him.
This was real.
This was happening.
He loved her.
He really loved her.
?Heero?? She whispered. His head came up, his gaze holding hers once more, ?you?re not going to lose me??
He shook his head slowly, ?Relena, how can you say that...? He looked down, ?I?ve already lost you??
Relena closed her eyes at the pain of his words. They stung with the new tears that had formed.
She had to tell him. She couldn't do this anymore.
?No?? she tilted his chin up with her finger so she could look at him, ?you haven?t lost me??
Heero swallowed, his brow creased. She took a moment to study how he had matured within the years she had known him; not just physically, but how he had changed within himself. He was not the boy she had met 5 years before.
Relena brought a hand to his face, smoothing the crease that had formed in his brow.
?how?? he asked so quietly she could barely hear him, ?how do you know that??
The pain behind his eyes made her want to hold him in her arms forever, to never let him go.
She had never seen such pain in anyone?s eyes but her own.
?I know?? she ran her fingers down his cheek, letting them rest over his lips, ?because I love you??
Heero took in a slow breath. Relena closed her eyes as she felt him kiss her fingers softly. She slowly moved her hand behind his neck as he leant towards her. Their warm breaths mingled for a moment. Relena could feel Heero?s lips brush hers.
?I know?? he whispered against her lips. She was finding it so hard to hold back. She desperately wanted to kiss him, to feel the softness of those lips. She felt him smile.
?I?ve known all along??
And then he kissed her.
All the times she had imagined it had been nothing like this. She had never felt anything like this before. She had never felt the warmth of his lips on hers, or felt his skin under her fingertips. Both her hands went behind his neck, one roaming into his hair as Heero deepened their kiss. She opened her mouth to his, moaning helplessly as she felt his tongue stroke hers, the closeness of his body making her weak at the knees. His hands began to roam over her back, their gentle touch filled with unmistakable need making her shiver. Their kiss had become so passionate, filled with such longing, such understanding, Relena could barely stand.
She broke apart from him, feeling as if she had literally torn herself away from his warmth. She rested her forehead against his, ?Heero?? She managed between shallow breaths, ?I?m...so sorry?for everything?? she panted. He only smiled.
?don?t be??
He kissed her again, this time slower, deeper. He held her tight as she moaned into his mouth. He smiled and trailed kissed across her jaw, making his way down her neck. As she tilted her head back with the pleasure of it, she breathed his name. The hand in his hair fisted as his mouth found hers again.
She was kissing him?actually kissing him, feeling his hot lips on hers, feeling his hands hold her as if she would fall away at any moment. She was kissing the man she had loved for five years, that she had dreamt of holding liket this for five years. She had been so scared, too scared to tell him, to admit how she felt about him. She had even tried to make herself forget, to force herself to stop loving him.
She knew though, that she could never, would never stop loving him.
Heero?s hands slid sensuously down Relena?s back as he brushed his lips over her neck. She let out a drawn out sigh as he did so, whimpering slightly as his hand found the barely covered skin of her breast. She found herself pressing against him, huskily whispering his name in his ear. She could feel every inch of him as he pressed back, her breathing becoming more ragged as she realised she felt more of him than she expected. She ripped her mouth away from his once more, clutching his face in her hands. The sound of his shallow breaths made something in her stomach twist pleasurably.
?Wait?? she breathed. The lust in his eyes was driving her insane with her own need. But, she didn?t know if she wanted to do this?or if he did?
?Wait for what?? He whispered, leaning in to capture her lips once more. She pulled back. Heero?s brow furrowed. ?What is it?? He ran a finger down her cheek. He couldn?t help but smile as he noted the flush on her flawless skin.
?Do we?do you?want to do this?? She found herself asking, looking up into his striking eyes. ?I mean?are you?do you want to?? she stammered. She almost felt embarrassed to be asking such a question, and felt even more-so when she noticed his lop-sided smile. She couldn?t hide her own smile when saw it. ?What?? she asked, almost laughing.
?Relena, you truly are the most amazing woman I have ever known??
He leaned in towards her again, Relena momentarily forgetting why they had parted in the first place. She did, however, remember again and pulled back from him once more. He sighed playfully, the smile still on his beautiful lips.
?You didn?t answer my question, Heero??
Before she had a chance to do anything, Heero held her face in both hands and kissed her long and deep.
?Yes, I did?? he breathed as they parted.
Relena grabbed him by his collar and kissed him hard. The desperation inside her to feel more of him finally overwhelming her. Heero trailed his hands down from her face, running them along the edges of the translucent fabric that didn?t really do anything to cover her body. He found the loosely tied belt that held the gown closed. Slowly, he pulled the bow undone. Laying open the flimsy fabric, Heero broke their kiss and pulled back slightly. Relena shrugged the rest of the pointless garment off her, and revelled in the heat of Heero?s gaze. She had never felt quite so much like a woman as she did at that moment. She had never thought anyone could want her in such a way as Heero did then. She had never seen such lust in another person?s eyes. But then she saw his gaze falter.
Oh shit...the scars?
No?
In an instant, she was hastily trying to cover herself, turning away from him, too ashamed to do anything else.
?Relena, what are you doing?? He held her and turned her back to him, his brow creasing again, ?what?s wrong?? he asked, his voice filled with worry for her.
?I?m?? She spoke through her tears, ?I?m sorry you had to see them?I?m so sorry?they?re so disgusting?I?m so disgusting?I?m so sorry?? She cried softly.
To her surprise, Heero stared at her a moment before he simply backed away. Her hand came out to him, but he was already too far away to touch. She realised she already missed it ? his touch. She didn?t know what she had expected?but for him to just walk away?
Relena?s eyes widened as she noticed Heero unbuttoning his shirt. With several of the buttons undone, he simply lifted it over his head and threw it to the floor. He walked towards her again.
?Tell me Relena,? He said quietly, ?do you find me disgusting??
Relena, too shocked by the question to answer, shook her head vigorously. No-one had ever seemed more beautiful to her than Heero. How could he ask her something like that? How could he think?
It was only then that she understood why he had asked her. She looked down the length of his torso, realising that there were too many scars on him to count. He took her hand and laid it on one of them, one that she distinctly remembered seeing him get.
?Am I really so disgusting, Relena? Does a scar change me? Does it make me a different person?? He asked, his voice heated. She was looking at the floor again. He cupped her chin, a little roughly, and made her look at him. ?Does it?!?
?No?? She whispered, her voice unsteady.
He gently let go of her chin and rested his hand over her cheek, ?then don?t tell me,? he put his mouth next to her ear, ?that you are anything other than what you are?? He kissed her neck,
?beautiful??
?Heero?I-? she breathed.
He had already found her lips again. They felt luscious against her own; she had never felt anything quite so sensuous as his lips against hers. Her hands roamed across his chest, feeling the hills and valleys of him, memorising every rise, every fall of his sculpted muscles, savouring the feel of his warm, soft skin. He moaned as she did so, letting his own hands travel across her body. When Relena felt one of them caress her bare breast, she couldn?t stop herself from calling out his name. She felt her nipple harden and grow with every movement of his fingers.
?Heero?please?? she panted.
She felt him smile against her mouth. With one hand on her breast, his other trailed lower, lower until it found her heat. She gasped as she felt him enter her. As his fingers slowly began to move in and out of her, she broke their kiss to look at him. If she had wanted him before, now, after seeing the raw need, the passion in his eyes, nothing, not anything could stop her.
She cried out as he drove his fingers deeper inside of her. She moved her hands into his hair and fisted them with the mounting pleasure he was giving her, pleasure she had never felt the like of before. She was bucking wildly against his hand, her control slipping with every movement he made inside her.
?Heero?uh?oh god?Heero, please?I??
When she felt his warm lips on her breast, she knew she couldn?t hold back anymore. Her world seemed to stop momentarily and she couldn?t feel anything but him, the ecstasy she was in, the pleasure she felt?
She cried out with release and leant against him, holding onto him with all the energy she possessed. His shallow breathing tickled her ear.
?Have I told you that I love you?? he whispered, chuckling seductively. His voice made something within her move, it made something within her snap, heat, boil, explode ? it made her want him more than anything she had ever known.
?Heero?? she spoke huskily, not knowing if her voice would survive what she had to tell him?
?I need you?please, God, I need you so much??
She pushed against the large bulge in his trousers. Heero sucked in a breath through gritted teeth. He didn?t need anymore convincing than that.
Without even realising it, she?d been swept up in his arms. He walked over to the bed and placed her gently on the quilted cover. He then stood up and hastily tried to undo his belt buckle. His quick fingers made light work of it, and soon after releasing the catch, he removed the rest of his things.
Relena forgot her own name as her eyes ravaged his naked flesh. She had caught herself imagining him like this at times?but this?this was far superior to anything she could ever imagine.
Her eyes followed his every move as he walked towards the bed and gently lay down beside her.
Before he could do anything, Relena positioned herself over him and gave him a chaste kiss. He smiled again. She couldn?t believe how something so small as just hearing his voice, seeing his smile could make her want him so much.
She kissed him again, this time not so innocently. His hands came up to her waist, moving around to her lower back. She pulled back from the kiss and gave Heero a smile of her own as she moved down the length of his body. He propped himself up on his elbows as she trailed light kisses down his chest. She caught a nipple in her mouth and heard him inhale sharply as she bit down on it lightly.
She trailed her lips slowly along the raised skin of a long scar running over his taught muscles. His warmth almost made her dizzy, along with the sounds he was making. She kissed lower and lower until she came to his hard length. She dragged her hands away from his torso, scratching his skin slightly as she did so. He elicited a long hiss as she brought her fingertips to the base of his erect member. She stroked him lazily for a few moments, feeling his whole body tense and hearing a low moan of pleasure escape him. She looked up at him, only to see his own eyes closed, his head thrown back on the pillow, shallow breaths escaping from his parted lips.
She wanted more from him. She wanted to do to him what he had done to her. She wanted to be the one to do it. Without hesitating, she took her hands from him, and took as much of him as she could into her mouth. He called out her name, his voice cracking, his breathing ragged. She moved up and down his length slowly, torturously, sucking gently.
Heero was getting frantic, moving his hips in time with her, gripping the bedsheets so fiercely Relena feared they would rip.
Suddenly, without any hint of warning, he sat up, lifting her off him, grimacing as he did so and rolled them both over so he was on top of her. He did this with such ease, it almost felt as if such a manoeuvre had been practiced.
?Heero?? She panted, ?what are you??
All thoughts and words escaped her as he pushed himself inside her. She gasped in pleasure as she felt him fill her completely.
?Relena?? He whispered huskily as he began a slow, steady rhythm, thrusting in and out of her. Relena brought her hands shakily up to his back as she met his thrusts with her own, calling his name out softly as he moved deep inside her. Heero rested his forehead against hers, their eyes locked in a heated gaze that made Relena?s blood boil with her need. The intense pleasure that washed over his striking features made her own pleasure rise instantly, her hands gripping onto him tighter.
As their pace quickened, Relena felt the stirrings of a fire within her, her cries becoming louder, more desperate than before. She needed him, she wanted him, she felt every inch of him inside her ? she longed for sweet release, she longed for it from him.
She clung onto him even tighter as she rocked with him. She couldn?t stop crying out for him, calling out words that meant nothing.
?shhh?? he cooed as she cried out his name over and over. He kissed her, trailing his lips down her neck and shoulders before letting them linger between her breasts.
She bucked her hips desperately against his, screaming for release. She could feel it, it was so close. Her hands came up to hold the back of his neck, one fisting as she brought it into his tousled hair. She could feel his arousal throbbing with his own need, deep inside of her. He was part of her. They were one.
She came as Heero?s lips found hers again, her cry of ecstasy stopped by his mouth on hers. Her whole body seemed to freeze as wave after wave of intense pleasure ravaged through her. Time seemed to stop with that long moment of sweet release.
As her inner walls tightened and her thighs squeezed against him, Heero tore his mouth away from hers, letting out a long, drawn out moan of satisfaction. He tensed above her for a moment, breathing heavily, before slowly resting his weight on her. He laid his head on its side between her breasts and closed his eyes, attempting to regain some ounce of composure.
Their sweat-slicked bodies stuck together uncomfortably, but Relena didn?t care. As their breathing evened out, she tangled her fingers in Heero?s brown mop of hair, smiling as he opened his heavy lidded eyes and looked up at her.
?I love you.? He whispered, moving forward to kiss her lightly. As he withdrew from her, she pulled him back, realising she never wanted to let him go again. She didn?t know what she?d do when he?d have to leave. When she pulled away, she swallowed, wondering whether to say something she?d wanted to say before.
?Heero, I love you more than anything in world?? She looked into his eyes intently for a moment, ?I would give my life for you?I would have given my life for you?when?when we were-?
?I know,? He interrupted her, wiping her tear away and trailing his fingers down her cheek, ?but I wouldn?t have let you??
Relena sighed, smiling slightly ?Always so stubborn??
Heero grinned as he drew her into another long kiss, ?Always.?
As she held Heero in her arms, feeling his heart beat against her own, Relena realised that she hadn't really been alone all this time. Heero had always been with her, somehow, whether he was in her thoughts, her dreams or in her heart, he had always been there since the day she had met him.
She finally realised she had nothing to be scared of anymore.
With Heero she was somebody; with Heero she was real.
With Heero, she could do anything.
She was finally whole.
The end
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So, I guess that's it....
I hope you've all enjoyed reading the different chapters. This is my first fanfiction, so I hope it wasn't too...hmm...well, un-readable.
wow...I don't really know what to do now...
lol
please review if you have anything (good or bad) to say about it!
thanks again for all the support from everyone!
<---- Kawaii so desu a ne 
"Where is that monkey? I really want to shoot something!!!!! 
simply LOVED it, I don't think other words are needed