Beautiful Disaster - PG-13 "lemony-fresh" oneshot
Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 12:29 pm
Yes, this story was inspired by the Kelly Clarkson song of the same title, but it is not a songfic. However, I think I should post the lyrics before the story to help lend a deeper understanding as you're reading. If you're already familiar with the song, feel free to skip ahead; but I highly recommend listening to it as a soundtrack while reading, if you have the means. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think! As always, I value the opinions of 1xR fans above anyone else's in the universe (except, perhaps, God's). 
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme, I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And If I try to save him
My whole world would cave in
It just ain't right, it just ain't right
[Chorus]
Oh, and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Lord, would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster?
He's magic and myth
He's strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
But do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold me tight, baby hold me tight
[Chorus]
Oh, and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster?
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm searching for some kind of a miracle
Waiting so long
I've waited so long
He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end, he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
[Chorus]
Oh, and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster?
He's beautiful
Lord, he's so beautiful
He's beautiful...
Beautiful Disaster
Heero Yuy stepped off the airplane in the Sanc Kingdom airport and straightened his dark jacket, a man on a mission. It felt like ages since he?d been here last, and far too long since he?d seen the only person he ever visited in this small European country. He was returning to Earth after an extended undercover assignment in space. He hadn?t been able to contact Relena, and he knew instinctively that she would?ve been worried about him after all this time. But that wasn?t the only reason he came.
Spending months in an obscure colony had given him ample time to think. For the first time, he found himself not only dwelling on the blonde Vice Foreign Minister, but missing her. Terribly. When she wasn?t around, he had no one to really talk to; she was the one person who seemed interested in his inner thoughts. Without her, there was no one to comfort and take care of him. A man could protest his feelings all he wanted, but there was no denying that he needed a woman in his life to provide certain things he would never find elsewhere. God did not create man to live alone, he recalled reading somewhere.
He no longer intended to live alone. Relena would probably be shocked to hear that confession from him, if he could ever bring himself to say the words. His feelings for her would hit her out of nowhere, and he preferred it that way. This is why he didn?t bother to call her and alert her of his return; if she had time to prepare for him, she would only fuss getting her home ready. Then she?d have more time to prepare for him emotionally, as well; when she knew she was going to encounter him, she cloaked herself in a detached and cool demeanor, steeling herself against him. He knew, for whatever reason, that she didn?t want to get hurt. As if he would ever hurt her. Sure, he had threatened to kill her, long ago, but the years had stretched between that time and now. Now he was no longer a brooding teenager on a mission to kill anyone who discovered his true identity?now he was willing to share his identity, his life with her.
Just as he didn?t pause to call Relena, Heero also didn?t bother to check the area weather report, and was unprepared for the torrential downpour he faced as soon as he exited the airport. A little disappointed, not to mention soggy, Heero plodded through the rain to the taxi he?d hailed, undaunted. Nothing short of a hurricane could deter him from his objective. He would make his declaration to Relena and, if necessary, he would do it soaking wet.
As the taxi sloshed through the rising water on the streets, Heero could only hope he?d catch Relena at home. She still lived in the Peacecraft Castle she?d inherited, but the ornate structure sat unoccupied most days of the year. Relena traveled extensively around the world and colonies to attend conferences and give speeches on pacifism. Her efforts had kept the Earth and colonies out of war for years now. However wonderful her work was for the rest of the world, it wreaked havoc upon her personal life. She hardly had time for anyone, something that used to suit Heero fine; his work as a Preventer also left little room for relationships. But now, he?d decided that things were about to change. If they both had to be busy, he reasoned, they might as well be busy together. Heero had heard on the news that Relena was supposed to be in Sanc this week and hoped the rumor was true. He could easily call and find out, but that would ruin his surprise.
At length, the taxi pulled up in front of the castle gate. The driver had eyed Heero suspiciously when the Preventer had told him the destination.
?Pull forward,? Heero urged him now. ?I need to punch in the code, then you can take me through the entrance.?
The driver?s eyebrows shot up his forehead. He took in Heero?s casual, slightly dirty attire and looked him up and down disdainfully. ?And how would you know something like that??
He obviously didn?t recognize Heero as the ?saviour of Earth? and Relena Darlian-Peacecraft?s personal protector, which was fine with Heero; he preferred to keep a low profile as much as possible. For the most part, he kept in the shadows, but once in a while people surprised him by coming up to him randomly and thanking him for all he did as a Gundam pilot during the Eve Wars. Apparently, that wasn?t about to happen now.
?Relena Darlian is a good friend of mine,? he explained, ?and I?m here to pay her a visit.? Heero could tell that the driver didn?t believe him by a mile. ?Now if you?ll excuse me?? He gestured to the electronic box affixed to the gate. The driver grudgingly eased the cab forward, and Heero rolled down the passenger window and punched in Relena?s password: the numeric value for INROSE. The driver was shocked when the gate swung open, admitting them inside. The driver dropped him off outside the castle door, just as Heero had asked. Heero paid him a generous tip and the cab sped off.
?Here goes,? Heero murmured, taking a deep breath. He pushed the doorbell and was taken aback when the door flew open, almost immediately. An immaculately-dressed butler that Heero didn?t recognize stood there and greeted him.
?Ah, you must be another one of the refugees,? the elderly man spoke in a British accent. He, too, gave Heero the once over. ?Right this way.?
Now Heero was confused. ?Refugees?? His eyes tightened into a glare, but he tried not to appear too threatening. ?What are you talking about??
The butler blinked at him. ?Why, surely?? He dropped his words, scratching his head in bewilderment. ?Er, one moment if you would, Sir.? The butler ran frantically into the grand hall, leaving Heero alone in the foyer. ?Miss Relena!? He could hear the man call.
A moment later, Relena joined the butler walking back into the foyer as he bumbled in his explanation about the young man he?d found at the door.
?Really, Miss Relena, your security guards should better regulate the kind of riff-raff that just show up around here??
Relena smiled and said nothing. She knew exactly what kind of ?riff-raff? he was referring to?his description had sounded like the only person she ever wanted in this castle with her. Sure enough, she entered the foyer to find Heero standing there, eyes downcast and looking a bit perplexed. She couldn?t help it?her heart skipped a beat. She stopped short just a few feet from him.
?Heero.?
He looked up at her, expressionless. ?Relena.? A small smile tugged at his lips, betraying his true feelings. Relena broke into a grin and flung herself forward. One step, and he caught her in his arms and drew her close. One arm enveloped her small waist while the other grasped her shoulders, and he raked his hand through her long hair.
The butler looked surprised, to say the least. He quickly turned his heel and went back into the hall.
?Heero,? Relena whispered, ?how long has it been??
?Too long,? he answered in his deep, rich tone. Relena laughed lightly and pulled away from his embrace to look him in the eyes. ?My mission is complete now,? he continued.
?Thank goodness,? she breathed. ?I was getting so lonely?? she gestured to the hall where the butler had disappeared to. ?I?ve started filling my home up with other people.?
Heero raised his eyebrows in alarm. ?What? kind of people??
?The kind who don?t have homes of their own. It?s an idea I?ve had for a while now?I?m planning on moving out of here soon and giving this castle back to the people of Sanc.?
Heero nodded in understanding. He knew Relena had a big heart, and this was exactly the kind of thing she was known for doing. Now he knew why the cab driver and the butler had been so wary of him?they thought he was a homeless person seeking shelter.
?That?s generous of you, but you do have to be careful what kind of people you let in your home,? he spoke gently. ?People you can trust. I don?t want anything happening to you.?
?Don?t worry, I?m very careful. I do have other bodyguards, you know,? she teased. ?And it?s not all the time; just for emergencies like this.?
?What?s the emergency??
Relena blinked in surprise. ?You mean you don?t know? I thought perhaps that was why you came here?to make sure I was safe.?
Heero frowned as his inner alarm went off. ?Safe from what??
Relena gazed at him, wide-eyed. ?I?m surprised you haven?t heard. Our city is one of many along the coast that have been given flash flood warnings; we?ve had them for a few days now. Didn?t you notice all the water??
He had, but hadn?t paid much mind to it. He just thought it was unusually tempestuous.
?So, you?re sheltering people??
?Yes. I hate to think that there are people outside in this who have no way to stay safe and dry. And look at me, I have all this space, and all these warm beds?? Her statement stirred something within him, and he grasped her close to him, wanting to tell her why he?d come. ?Oh, that reminds me,? she said, interrupting his flow of thoughts. ?Normally I don?t let anyone in your room, but in this circumstance??
?Understood. I can find somewhere else to sleep.?
Relena smiled up at him, her eyes dancing. ?I?m sure you?ll have no trouble doing that at all.? She stepped out of his embrace again, this time reaching for one of his hands. ?Come on, let?s go get you settled.?
Heero?s heart pounded as he and Relena headed into the castle?s grand hall. He knew they were probably headed to her room, where they could finally be alone, and he could finally tell her?
What he saw in the hall made him stop short. There were people everywhere. Some were milling about and chatting, some sat on the furniture, most were eating, and many were spread out in sleeping bags.
?When you said filled with people?? Heero began.
?I meant filled,? Relena finished. ?Isn?t it amazing how many bodies can fit into this place?? She looked delighted.
?Yeah. Amazing.? So much for being alone, he thought. The storm and approaching flood had certainly put a damper on his plans. Likewise, the stench of the wet and grimy crowd didn?t exactly help create the romantic atmosphere he?d hoped for. How was he supposed to confess his intimate feelings for her with all these people around?
Heero followed Relena across the hall, stepping around the vast number of bodies as they made their way to her tall staircase. To his chagrin, there were people all over that as well. To Relena, each one of these people was an individual, precious jewel, and she greeted as many as she could as they made their ascent. Normally Heero would find this endearing, but right now he found himself annoyed. Finally, they reached the solace of her bedroom. Heero noticed as Relena shut and locked the door behind her.
?See? I?m keeping myself safe,? she pointed out.
?Good,? he replied, setting down his small suitcase. Relena plopped down on her large, four-poster bed and watched him. ?What?? he asked after a minute.
?Nothing?? But the gleam in her eyes revealed that there was, indeed, something on her mind. Heero took a seat beside her.
?So? Is it safe to assume that we?re staying together?? Relena nodded as Heero went on. ?I don?t want to state the obvious, but??
?But what??
He blinked. ?You won?t? find it awkward??
Relena started playing with her hair. ?No, not at all.? She wasn?t looking at him anymore, but Heero could see the flush in her cheeks. He reached out a hand and caressed one, and the color deepened.
?You?re nervous,? he murmured. He moved a little closer to her, and she stiffened.
?Why should I be?? She met his penetrating gaze, her sky blue eyes flashing defensively. But he could see right through her. He used to be the one who kept his guard up around her, because she always seemed able to read him; now he had developed her gift of discernment, and she was no longer a puzzle to him.
?You tell me. I figured we were past this stage.?
?Past what? We?ve never slept together before.? The words flew out of her mouth before she could reconsider them, and she blushed even more.
Heero was amused. ?So, that?s what you had in mind??
?Heero! I didn?t mean it that way.?
?How else could you mean it? We?ve fallen asleep next to each other before, so in that sense, we have slept together. This situation shouldn?t embarrass you? unless, of course, you were thinking of the term in a less literal sense.?
She glared at him. ?I was only being literal, and nothing more.?
?Then you were wrong. We have slept together, and more than once.?
?But never for the whole night.? She whirled to face him. ?You?ve never once stayed with me. You?ve fallen asleep next to me, and are always gone by the time I?m awake. I hardly think those times count.?
His eyes continued to search hers. ?Are you angry with me??
?No,? she sighed. She went back to twirling her hair. ?I guess I am? a little nervous.?
?Don?t be.? He tilted her chin up with his hand and leaned forward to kiss her. She trembled a little, but met his lips with a light kiss. Their kisses, few and far between over the years, had never been deep or passionate? until now.
Relena wasn?t prepared for Heero?s blatant desire. His kisses grew deeper until it seemed like he would devour her. He held her closer against him than she had ever been, until she swore she could feel every inch of him. He became increasingly aggressive and tumbled on top of her. They were now horizontal on her bed with Heero straddling her, missionary-style. And Relena was terrified.
Where had all of this come from? The last time she had seen him, he had barely kissed her goodbye, and he was gone for so long. Perhaps all that time away had made him lonely, even aching for her. Was it possible that he needed her now? Relena couldn?t see how that was possible. He was so strong. Sure, he was only human, but since when did he depend on her so much? She found the whole situation disconcerting, and a little suspicious. She abruptly stopped his hands as they began to wander.
?Heero.? He halted immediately and looked down on her, questioningly. She decided to pose her question to him. ?Where is all this coming from??
?What do you mean??
?You know what I mean.? She pulled herself up into a sitting position and ended up face to face with him. ?You never?act like this. Why now??
Relena saw emotion burning behind his eyes, but she couldn?t sense what it was?Happiness? Passion? Anger?
?I?ve missed you,? he answered simply.
?Haven?t there been other times when you?ve missed me? You?ve never come back to me like this before.?
His dark eyes clouded over. Again, she couldn?t detect what his expression was trying to convey to her. She drew in a sharp breath and decided to face her worst fear.
?Is there something you?re not telling me? Did something happen in space??
?I don?t follow you, Relena. Explain.? His eyes were back to being expressionless. He continued to peer at her with his face mere inches away, awaiting her answer.
?I have to know?? She started to shake. ?Did you meet someone else?? His eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to reply, but she kept going. ?Have you? been like this with another woman? Because you certainly didn?t learn this from being with me.?
He shook his head. ?Relena, you?re taking this far too seriously.?
?Oh, so this isn?t serious to you?? she retorted. ?Is this just some kind of game? Am I just some sort of plaything to you??
He reached out a hand to pull her back to him. ?Relena??
?What am I to you, Heero?? She jerked away from him. ?You think you can just show up here after being gone for months and expect to seduce me? What were you thinking??
?Relena, that?s not why I came here. I came to see you. Period. Stop overreacting.? Frustrated, he ran his hand through his dark shock of hair.
?I hardly think I?m overreacting,? she fumed. ?You can?t possibly know how I?m feeling, when you?re the one who all but attacked me like an animal and??
?Like an animal?? Now he was the one who was furious. ?Is that what I am to you, Relena?? At that moment, he almost felt like one?he could have howled like a wolf for the pain her words caused him. Perhaps coming here was a bad idea; perhaps he was destined to remain a lone wolf.
Tears filled her eyes, and she spoke more softly. ?No, Heero. I didn?t mean it that way.? She reached out to touch him, but this time he was the one to jerk away. ?Heero, please. I?m sorry. You just? caught me off-guard. I wasn?t ready.?
He didn?t answer her. He could hardly believe what was happening. Here he was with the one person he thought understood him better than anyone, and she?d been terrified when he touched her. And here he thought she had been leading him up to this point with the way she looked at him and teased him. He had been wrong?he didn?t know how to read her after all. He had tried to show her how he really felt for her, and she had turned on him. He didn?t know how to respond. He only hoped he could find somewhere else to sleep tonight.
Relena didn?t know how to convey her feelings, either. She felt so lost. She knew how deeply she cared for Heero, but she wasn?t ready to throw caution to the wind and make love to him. She needed to have something solid to base their relationship on; she needed to know that he loved her. He had never told her if he did, but she didn?t want to sleep with him until she knew. Ideally, she had hoped to remain a virgin until marriage, but now that Heero had made a move she no longer felt it was possible.
And if I don?t sleep with him, she thought, panicked, someone else will. But would he really do that to me? Would he go to someone else to get whatever I don?t give him? Fresh tears sprang into her eyes. He can?t? I need him.
She turned toward him again, but he was cold, unreachable. ?Heero?? She whispered his name, and her voice caught in a sob. Before she knew what she was doing, she leapt up and ran out of her bedroom, clumsily unlocking the door before she bolted down the hallway.
Heero looked up. ?Relena?? But it was too late. She was gone, and he didn?t think he had the heart to go after her. He never thought that she would reject him like that. If she wasn?t ready for intimacy, she could?ve said something?they?ve could?ve talked about it. But did you even give her a chance? His thoughts nagged him. You idiot. You were supposed to tell her you loved her. Then you could?ve seen where things went from there. You didn?t come here to jump into bed with her. His eyes widened. And that?s exactly what she thinks you did. She thinks? you?re here to use her. You?re a fool.
Heero raced out of Relena?s room to find her, come hell or high water. In this case, it was going to be the latter; as Heero searched the castle for her, he was certain that she had to have gone outside in the pouring rain. This thought was met with a sinking feeling?her being outside in this squall was beyond dangerous. He went out the castle?s back entrance and saw her standing at a distance in the garden, soaking wet and shivering.
?Relena!? He called to her as he ran in her direction.
She shook her head at him. ?I don?t think I can talk about this anymore, Heero.?
?Please.? He came to a halt a few feet away from her. ?Let me explain.?
Her blue eyes regarded him sadly. ?What is there to explain? I know why you came here now, Heero??
?Relena, wait. If you think I?m trying to use you, you?re wrong.?
?Then why? were you so aggressive with me? You?ve always been so gentle and cautious before.?
?Because? I was afraid.?
She blinked at him in disbelief. ?You? Of what??
He took another step toward her. ?Afraid of letting anyone get too close. Anyone I?d ever allowed in died. So I?ve always kept you at arms length.? He finished closing the distance between them. ?But I don?t want that anymore. I?m tired of feeling like I have to continue living like a soldier. The war has been over for years, and yet we?ve both denied ourselves the everyday happiness that we fight to protect for other people.?
Relena?s eyes narrowed. ?So your idea of happiness is??
?Love, Relena,? he interrupted. Her eyes flew open as she gasped, and she quickly placed her hand over her mouth to conceal it. But Heero took her hand away and brought it to his lips.
?I love you.? He stared at her, his chest heaving from the emotional effort it had taken to finally speak the words out loud. ?That?s what I came here for,? he finished. ?That?s all.?
She wanted to say something, but she could only stare at him in wonder. The rain was pounding them, and his wet, dark hair hung in his eyes. Those deep blue eyes that looked like the color of outer space as he gazed at her in the cool, wet darkness. Her breath caught in her throat as fresh tears mingled with the rain on her face.
?Heero,? she whispered, at last. ?I love you, too.?
He gave her small, knowing smile and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her to him for a slow, tender kiss. As the rain continued to cascade over them, their kisses grew more and more fervent. They could hear thunder rolling in the distance, but were too absorbed in one another to realize it was growing closer. They were completely unprepared when lightning struck the ground around them.
Relena abruptly ended their kiss with a shriek, and Heero tightened his hold on her protectively. Sparks danced around them like blue fire. It lasted for only a brief moment, and when they realized they were safe, they looked at one another and began to laugh?Relena with her girlish giggle, and Heero with a barely perceptible chuckle.
Heero could care less that they were standing in the middle of the worst storm he?d ever seen. All he wanted to do was continue holding her like this. But at the same time, he still felt it was his job to keep her safe.
?We should get inside before it gets any worse,? he murmured.
?Do we have to?? Relena?s eyes glinted mischievously.
?Yes.? With that, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her back into the castle. She laughed as she held on to him, enjoying the way her hands felt on his wet shoulders, wishing this feeling would never end.
Heero and Relena could hardly stop kissing one another as he made his way to her room, still carrying her. He took one of the castle?s back staircases in an attempt to evade her guests; he could only hope that he?d succeeded, because he was too preoccupied with Relena to notice anything else.
After what seemed like an eternity, they reached the refuge of her bedroom. This time, as they tumbled onto the large bed, Relena was the one who knocked Heero down forcefully; he didn?t mind, to say the least. His mind grew hazy as she straddled him with her hips, and pulled at the fabric of his shirt. She lifted it gleefully over his head and ran her fingers over his chiseled chest and abs. Her light touches were driving him crazy, and he longed for something deeper. The laces of her summer dress were undone in just one tug, and he could easily slip it off of her. She was beginning to shrug out of it herself when something held Heero back.
?Relena.? He pressed his forehead against hers. ?Relena, wait.?
She seemed shocked that he had stopped her. ?What is it, Heero??
?Something?s not right,? he said, shaking his head.
She blinked. ?But? I thought you wanted to do this??
?Yeah, I do. But not if you don?t.? He tipped her chin up with his hand. ?And besides, I already told you?that?s not what I came here for.?
?So? you really came all the way here just to tell me you love me??
?Yes.?
?Then,? she slowly trailed a finger down his chest, ?what did you expect in return??
He caught her hand in his. ?Nothing.?
Her eyes widened. ?Didn?t you at least hope I would say it back??
He shrugged. ?I hoped you would, but I didn?t know what to expect. I thought you might be angry with me for staying gone so long.?
?Oh, I know better than that,? Relena said pointedly. ?Work is work. We both understand that. I knew you?d be away for an extended period this time. How did that undercover thing go, anyway??
Heero gave her a small, seductive smile. ?If I told you,? he murmured, kissing her hand, ?I?d have to kill you.?
She laughed and settled against him. ?Well, that?s nothing new... But how about we finish this first?? Her eyes sparked with desire, and she leaned forward to kiss him.
?Wait, Relena.?
Her eyes flashed again, and this time she looked slightly hurt. ?Why do you keep doing that??
?Because I don?t want you to compromise yourself. I want you to be sure.?
?Compromise myself? Heero, I know you?re not trying to force me.?
?You thought I was earlier,? he pointed out.
?No, I didn?t,? she sighed. ?I just thought that was all you were after. All I wanted to know was that you loved me first. If we do it this way, we can let things progress in a more natural order.?
Heero shook his head. ?It still doesn?t feel right. I need to give you more than this.?
Relena raised a delicate eyebrow. ?Why? I know you love me. Why don?t you think that?s enough?? She rested her head against his bare chest. ?It?s all I?ve ever wanted, Heero. Honestly.?
?I do love you, Relena,? he murmured as he began to stroke her hair. ?But I don?t want you to do anything you?d regret. So let?s relax for a while; see where this goes.?
?Relax?? He could practically feel her temper flaring up, something he was beginning to find amusing, since usually she was so serene. With this newfound temper came fireworks they had never shared before. He decided that he could get used to arguing with her, even enjoy it. ?What do you mean, relax?? she continued.
?It?s getting late. We should probably just sleep.?
She exhaled, blowing her bangs off her forehead in the process. ?If that?s what you want, Heero. But I think we?ll have a hard time sleeping beside one another tonight.?
With that, she crawled off her bed, clutching her nearly discarded dress against her. She grabbed a nightgown out of a dresser drawer and slipped into her adjoining bathroom. Heero dug out the few items he needed from his suitcase, changed into dark blue pajama pants, and waited outside the bathroom door. When Relena opened it a few minutes later, her jaw nearly hit the floor.
?Heero! You can?t sleep next to me wearing that.?
He glanced down at his attire and shrugged. ?Why not??
She rolled her eyes. ?Because if you?re only wearing that, I might as well sleep naked.?
He cocked an eyebrow. ?Not if you want to keep your virginity intact.?
She met the challenge in his eyes and smiled. ?Maybe I don?t. I thought that was the point.? To her delight, his face turned red. ?Oh, wait. You wanted to spend a chaste night sleeping together, not sleeping together.? She spun her heel and sashayed back into the bedroom.
Heero watched the womanly figure walking away from him, the silk nightgown hugging her every curve. This is going to be harder than I thought, he realized.
They spent the next few hours tossing and turning in the large bed, each consumed by inner torment. Finally, Relena turned to him.
?Heero,? she said hotly, ?remind me again what we?re waiting for??
He placed a finger against her lips. ?Go to sleep,? he murmured.
?I mean it! I don?t see why we need to torture ourselves; I don?t know about you, but I?m going crazy over here.?
?Relena?? His eyes studied her, even in the dark. ?You may not think you want something more now, but you will.?
?What do you mean by something more??
?I mean a deeper commitment.?
?This would be a deeper commitment.?
?Not enough.? He shook his head solemnly. ?Not for me. I want to be able to provide for you.?
She started to laugh, but then she realized he was serious. ?But Heero, you don?t have to earn my love.?
?I know. But I want to. I have to be able to give you more than just? myself.?
She slipped her arms around his neck. ?But you?re all I want.?
He pulled her against him, suddenly, and gripped her tightly in his arms. ?Then marry me.?
?What? Are you serious??
?Why wouldn?t I be?? He kissed her neck softly. ?I told you?I love you. I?m tired of being separated from you. It?s as simple as that.? He kissed her face, going from her forehead to her nose and, lastly, to her lips. ?Let?s get married.?
?Heero.? Relena didn?t know if she had whispered his name, or just thought it. Her voice seemed lost somewhere inside of her. She opened her mouth, but became speechless once more as she saw that Heero was holding a small velvet box. He opened it to reveal a traditional, princess cut diamond solitaire. Even though most of her room was obscured by the night?s darkness, Relena could see the ring reflecting the moonlight from her window. She blinked. ?Heero? Where did you get that?? She hadn?t realized his pajama pants even had pockets. She reached down and felt for herself? There were none. ?Seriously, Heero. How did you pull that out of nowhere??
He smiled. ?The same way I pull out my gun. Now? will you??
She was so dazed by his surprise that she had forgotten to answer him. Tears misted her eyes as she whispered, ?Yes, Heero. A thousand times, yes!?
Then, once more, they became lost in the sea of one another?s kisses. And that night, the fiercest storm couldn?t part them as they began their new future as one.
Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm,
For love is as strong as death
Its jealousy unyielding as the grave
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame
Many waters cannot quench love;
Neither can floods drown it...
(Song of Songs 8: 6-7)
END
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme, I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And If I try to save him
My whole world would cave in
It just ain't right, it just ain't right
[Chorus]
Oh, and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Lord, would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster?
He's magic and myth
He's strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
But do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold me tight, baby hold me tight
[Chorus]
Oh, and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster?
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm searching for some kind of a miracle
Waiting so long
I've waited so long
He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end, he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
[Chorus]
Oh, and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster?
He's beautiful
Lord, he's so beautiful
He's beautiful...
Beautiful Disaster
Heero Yuy stepped off the airplane in the Sanc Kingdom airport and straightened his dark jacket, a man on a mission. It felt like ages since he?d been here last, and far too long since he?d seen the only person he ever visited in this small European country. He was returning to Earth after an extended undercover assignment in space. He hadn?t been able to contact Relena, and he knew instinctively that she would?ve been worried about him after all this time. But that wasn?t the only reason he came.
Spending months in an obscure colony had given him ample time to think. For the first time, he found himself not only dwelling on the blonde Vice Foreign Minister, but missing her. Terribly. When she wasn?t around, he had no one to really talk to; she was the one person who seemed interested in his inner thoughts. Without her, there was no one to comfort and take care of him. A man could protest his feelings all he wanted, but there was no denying that he needed a woman in his life to provide certain things he would never find elsewhere. God did not create man to live alone, he recalled reading somewhere.
He no longer intended to live alone. Relena would probably be shocked to hear that confession from him, if he could ever bring himself to say the words. His feelings for her would hit her out of nowhere, and he preferred it that way. This is why he didn?t bother to call her and alert her of his return; if she had time to prepare for him, she would only fuss getting her home ready. Then she?d have more time to prepare for him emotionally, as well; when she knew she was going to encounter him, she cloaked herself in a detached and cool demeanor, steeling herself against him. He knew, for whatever reason, that she didn?t want to get hurt. As if he would ever hurt her. Sure, he had threatened to kill her, long ago, but the years had stretched between that time and now. Now he was no longer a brooding teenager on a mission to kill anyone who discovered his true identity?now he was willing to share his identity, his life with her.
Just as he didn?t pause to call Relena, Heero also didn?t bother to check the area weather report, and was unprepared for the torrential downpour he faced as soon as he exited the airport. A little disappointed, not to mention soggy, Heero plodded through the rain to the taxi he?d hailed, undaunted. Nothing short of a hurricane could deter him from his objective. He would make his declaration to Relena and, if necessary, he would do it soaking wet.
As the taxi sloshed through the rising water on the streets, Heero could only hope he?d catch Relena at home. She still lived in the Peacecraft Castle she?d inherited, but the ornate structure sat unoccupied most days of the year. Relena traveled extensively around the world and colonies to attend conferences and give speeches on pacifism. Her efforts had kept the Earth and colonies out of war for years now. However wonderful her work was for the rest of the world, it wreaked havoc upon her personal life. She hardly had time for anyone, something that used to suit Heero fine; his work as a Preventer also left little room for relationships. But now, he?d decided that things were about to change. If they both had to be busy, he reasoned, they might as well be busy together. Heero had heard on the news that Relena was supposed to be in Sanc this week and hoped the rumor was true. He could easily call and find out, but that would ruin his surprise.
At length, the taxi pulled up in front of the castle gate. The driver had eyed Heero suspiciously when the Preventer had told him the destination.
?Pull forward,? Heero urged him now. ?I need to punch in the code, then you can take me through the entrance.?
The driver?s eyebrows shot up his forehead. He took in Heero?s casual, slightly dirty attire and looked him up and down disdainfully. ?And how would you know something like that??
He obviously didn?t recognize Heero as the ?saviour of Earth? and Relena Darlian-Peacecraft?s personal protector, which was fine with Heero; he preferred to keep a low profile as much as possible. For the most part, he kept in the shadows, but once in a while people surprised him by coming up to him randomly and thanking him for all he did as a Gundam pilot during the Eve Wars. Apparently, that wasn?t about to happen now.
?Relena Darlian is a good friend of mine,? he explained, ?and I?m here to pay her a visit.? Heero could tell that the driver didn?t believe him by a mile. ?Now if you?ll excuse me?? He gestured to the electronic box affixed to the gate. The driver grudgingly eased the cab forward, and Heero rolled down the passenger window and punched in Relena?s password: the numeric value for INROSE. The driver was shocked when the gate swung open, admitting them inside. The driver dropped him off outside the castle door, just as Heero had asked. Heero paid him a generous tip and the cab sped off.
?Here goes,? Heero murmured, taking a deep breath. He pushed the doorbell and was taken aback when the door flew open, almost immediately. An immaculately-dressed butler that Heero didn?t recognize stood there and greeted him.
?Ah, you must be another one of the refugees,? the elderly man spoke in a British accent. He, too, gave Heero the once over. ?Right this way.?
Now Heero was confused. ?Refugees?? His eyes tightened into a glare, but he tried not to appear too threatening. ?What are you talking about??
The butler blinked at him. ?Why, surely?? He dropped his words, scratching his head in bewilderment. ?Er, one moment if you would, Sir.? The butler ran frantically into the grand hall, leaving Heero alone in the foyer. ?Miss Relena!? He could hear the man call.
A moment later, Relena joined the butler walking back into the foyer as he bumbled in his explanation about the young man he?d found at the door.
?Really, Miss Relena, your security guards should better regulate the kind of riff-raff that just show up around here??
Relena smiled and said nothing. She knew exactly what kind of ?riff-raff? he was referring to?his description had sounded like the only person she ever wanted in this castle with her. Sure enough, she entered the foyer to find Heero standing there, eyes downcast and looking a bit perplexed. She couldn?t help it?her heart skipped a beat. She stopped short just a few feet from him.
?Heero.?
He looked up at her, expressionless. ?Relena.? A small smile tugged at his lips, betraying his true feelings. Relena broke into a grin and flung herself forward. One step, and he caught her in his arms and drew her close. One arm enveloped her small waist while the other grasped her shoulders, and he raked his hand through her long hair.
The butler looked surprised, to say the least. He quickly turned his heel and went back into the hall.
?Heero,? Relena whispered, ?how long has it been??
?Too long,? he answered in his deep, rich tone. Relena laughed lightly and pulled away from his embrace to look him in the eyes. ?My mission is complete now,? he continued.
?Thank goodness,? she breathed. ?I was getting so lonely?? she gestured to the hall where the butler had disappeared to. ?I?ve started filling my home up with other people.?
Heero raised his eyebrows in alarm. ?What? kind of people??
?The kind who don?t have homes of their own. It?s an idea I?ve had for a while now?I?m planning on moving out of here soon and giving this castle back to the people of Sanc.?
Heero nodded in understanding. He knew Relena had a big heart, and this was exactly the kind of thing she was known for doing. Now he knew why the cab driver and the butler had been so wary of him?they thought he was a homeless person seeking shelter.
?That?s generous of you, but you do have to be careful what kind of people you let in your home,? he spoke gently. ?People you can trust. I don?t want anything happening to you.?
?Don?t worry, I?m very careful. I do have other bodyguards, you know,? she teased. ?And it?s not all the time; just for emergencies like this.?
?What?s the emergency??
Relena blinked in surprise. ?You mean you don?t know? I thought perhaps that was why you came here?to make sure I was safe.?
Heero frowned as his inner alarm went off. ?Safe from what??
Relena gazed at him, wide-eyed. ?I?m surprised you haven?t heard. Our city is one of many along the coast that have been given flash flood warnings; we?ve had them for a few days now. Didn?t you notice all the water??
He had, but hadn?t paid much mind to it. He just thought it was unusually tempestuous.
?So, you?re sheltering people??
?Yes. I hate to think that there are people outside in this who have no way to stay safe and dry. And look at me, I have all this space, and all these warm beds?? Her statement stirred something within him, and he grasped her close to him, wanting to tell her why he?d come. ?Oh, that reminds me,? she said, interrupting his flow of thoughts. ?Normally I don?t let anyone in your room, but in this circumstance??
?Understood. I can find somewhere else to sleep.?
Relena smiled up at him, her eyes dancing. ?I?m sure you?ll have no trouble doing that at all.? She stepped out of his embrace again, this time reaching for one of his hands. ?Come on, let?s go get you settled.?
Heero?s heart pounded as he and Relena headed into the castle?s grand hall. He knew they were probably headed to her room, where they could finally be alone, and he could finally tell her?
What he saw in the hall made him stop short. There were people everywhere. Some were milling about and chatting, some sat on the furniture, most were eating, and many were spread out in sleeping bags.
?When you said filled with people?? Heero began.
?I meant filled,? Relena finished. ?Isn?t it amazing how many bodies can fit into this place?? She looked delighted.
?Yeah. Amazing.? So much for being alone, he thought. The storm and approaching flood had certainly put a damper on his plans. Likewise, the stench of the wet and grimy crowd didn?t exactly help create the romantic atmosphere he?d hoped for. How was he supposed to confess his intimate feelings for her with all these people around?
Heero followed Relena across the hall, stepping around the vast number of bodies as they made their way to her tall staircase. To his chagrin, there were people all over that as well. To Relena, each one of these people was an individual, precious jewel, and she greeted as many as she could as they made their ascent. Normally Heero would find this endearing, but right now he found himself annoyed. Finally, they reached the solace of her bedroom. Heero noticed as Relena shut and locked the door behind her.
?See? I?m keeping myself safe,? she pointed out.
?Good,? he replied, setting down his small suitcase. Relena plopped down on her large, four-poster bed and watched him. ?What?? he asked after a minute.
?Nothing?? But the gleam in her eyes revealed that there was, indeed, something on her mind. Heero took a seat beside her.
?So? Is it safe to assume that we?re staying together?? Relena nodded as Heero went on. ?I don?t want to state the obvious, but??
?But what??
He blinked. ?You won?t? find it awkward??
Relena started playing with her hair. ?No, not at all.? She wasn?t looking at him anymore, but Heero could see the flush in her cheeks. He reached out a hand and caressed one, and the color deepened.
?You?re nervous,? he murmured. He moved a little closer to her, and she stiffened.
?Why should I be?? She met his penetrating gaze, her sky blue eyes flashing defensively. But he could see right through her. He used to be the one who kept his guard up around her, because she always seemed able to read him; now he had developed her gift of discernment, and she was no longer a puzzle to him.
?You tell me. I figured we were past this stage.?
?Past what? We?ve never slept together before.? The words flew out of her mouth before she could reconsider them, and she blushed even more.
Heero was amused. ?So, that?s what you had in mind??
?Heero! I didn?t mean it that way.?
?How else could you mean it? We?ve fallen asleep next to each other before, so in that sense, we have slept together. This situation shouldn?t embarrass you? unless, of course, you were thinking of the term in a less literal sense.?
She glared at him. ?I was only being literal, and nothing more.?
?Then you were wrong. We have slept together, and more than once.?
?But never for the whole night.? She whirled to face him. ?You?ve never once stayed with me. You?ve fallen asleep next to me, and are always gone by the time I?m awake. I hardly think those times count.?
His eyes continued to search hers. ?Are you angry with me??
?No,? she sighed. She went back to twirling her hair. ?I guess I am? a little nervous.?
?Don?t be.? He tilted her chin up with his hand and leaned forward to kiss her. She trembled a little, but met his lips with a light kiss. Their kisses, few and far between over the years, had never been deep or passionate? until now.
Relena wasn?t prepared for Heero?s blatant desire. His kisses grew deeper until it seemed like he would devour her. He held her closer against him than she had ever been, until she swore she could feel every inch of him. He became increasingly aggressive and tumbled on top of her. They were now horizontal on her bed with Heero straddling her, missionary-style. And Relena was terrified.
Where had all of this come from? The last time she had seen him, he had barely kissed her goodbye, and he was gone for so long. Perhaps all that time away had made him lonely, even aching for her. Was it possible that he needed her now? Relena couldn?t see how that was possible. He was so strong. Sure, he was only human, but since when did he depend on her so much? She found the whole situation disconcerting, and a little suspicious. She abruptly stopped his hands as they began to wander.
?Heero.? He halted immediately and looked down on her, questioningly. She decided to pose her question to him. ?Where is all this coming from??
?What do you mean??
?You know what I mean.? She pulled herself up into a sitting position and ended up face to face with him. ?You never?act like this. Why now??
Relena saw emotion burning behind his eyes, but she couldn?t sense what it was?Happiness? Passion? Anger?
?I?ve missed you,? he answered simply.
?Haven?t there been other times when you?ve missed me? You?ve never come back to me like this before.?
His dark eyes clouded over. Again, she couldn?t detect what his expression was trying to convey to her. She drew in a sharp breath and decided to face her worst fear.
?Is there something you?re not telling me? Did something happen in space??
?I don?t follow you, Relena. Explain.? His eyes were back to being expressionless. He continued to peer at her with his face mere inches away, awaiting her answer.
?I have to know?? She started to shake. ?Did you meet someone else?? His eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to reply, but she kept going. ?Have you? been like this with another woman? Because you certainly didn?t learn this from being with me.?
He shook his head. ?Relena, you?re taking this far too seriously.?
?Oh, so this isn?t serious to you?? she retorted. ?Is this just some kind of game? Am I just some sort of plaything to you??
He reached out a hand to pull her back to him. ?Relena??
?What am I to you, Heero?? She jerked away from him. ?You think you can just show up here after being gone for months and expect to seduce me? What were you thinking??
?Relena, that?s not why I came here. I came to see you. Period. Stop overreacting.? Frustrated, he ran his hand through his dark shock of hair.
?I hardly think I?m overreacting,? she fumed. ?You can?t possibly know how I?m feeling, when you?re the one who all but attacked me like an animal and??
?Like an animal?? Now he was the one who was furious. ?Is that what I am to you, Relena?? At that moment, he almost felt like one?he could have howled like a wolf for the pain her words caused him. Perhaps coming here was a bad idea; perhaps he was destined to remain a lone wolf.
Tears filled her eyes, and she spoke more softly. ?No, Heero. I didn?t mean it that way.? She reached out to touch him, but this time he was the one to jerk away. ?Heero, please. I?m sorry. You just? caught me off-guard. I wasn?t ready.?
He didn?t answer her. He could hardly believe what was happening. Here he was with the one person he thought understood him better than anyone, and she?d been terrified when he touched her. And here he thought she had been leading him up to this point with the way she looked at him and teased him. He had been wrong?he didn?t know how to read her after all. He had tried to show her how he really felt for her, and she had turned on him. He didn?t know how to respond. He only hoped he could find somewhere else to sleep tonight.
Relena didn?t know how to convey her feelings, either. She felt so lost. She knew how deeply she cared for Heero, but she wasn?t ready to throw caution to the wind and make love to him. She needed to have something solid to base their relationship on; she needed to know that he loved her. He had never told her if he did, but she didn?t want to sleep with him until she knew. Ideally, she had hoped to remain a virgin until marriage, but now that Heero had made a move she no longer felt it was possible.
And if I don?t sleep with him, she thought, panicked, someone else will. But would he really do that to me? Would he go to someone else to get whatever I don?t give him? Fresh tears sprang into her eyes. He can?t? I need him.
She turned toward him again, but he was cold, unreachable. ?Heero?? She whispered his name, and her voice caught in a sob. Before she knew what she was doing, she leapt up and ran out of her bedroom, clumsily unlocking the door before she bolted down the hallway.
Heero looked up. ?Relena?? But it was too late. She was gone, and he didn?t think he had the heart to go after her. He never thought that she would reject him like that. If she wasn?t ready for intimacy, she could?ve said something?they?ve could?ve talked about it. But did you even give her a chance? His thoughts nagged him. You idiot. You were supposed to tell her you loved her. Then you could?ve seen where things went from there. You didn?t come here to jump into bed with her. His eyes widened. And that?s exactly what she thinks you did. She thinks? you?re here to use her. You?re a fool.
Heero raced out of Relena?s room to find her, come hell or high water. In this case, it was going to be the latter; as Heero searched the castle for her, he was certain that she had to have gone outside in the pouring rain. This thought was met with a sinking feeling?her being outside in this squall was beyond dangerous. He went out the castle?s back entrance and saw her standing at a distance in the garden, soaking wet and shivering.
?Relena!? He called to her as he ran in her direction.
She shook her head at him. ?I don?t think I can talk about this anymore, Heero.?
?Please.? He came to a halt a few feet away from her. ?Let me explain.?
Her blue eyes regarded him sadly. ?What is there to explain? I know why you came here now, Heero??
?Relena, wait. If you think I?m trying to use you, you?re wrong.?
?Then why? were you so aggressive with me? You?ve always been so gentle and cautious before.?
?Because? I was afraid.?
She blinked at him in disbelief. ?You? Of what??
He took another step toward her. ?Afraid of letting anyone get too close. Anyone I?d ever allowed in died. So I?ve always kept you at arms length.? He finished closing the distance between them. ?But I don?t want that anymore. I?m tired of feeling like I have to continue living like a soldier. The war has been over for years, and yet we?ve both denied ourselves the everyday happiness that we fight to protect for other people.?
Relena?s eyes narrowed. ?So your idea of happiness is??
?Love, Relena,? he interrupted. Her eyes flew open as she gasped, and she quickly placed her hand over her mouth to conceal it. But Heero took her hand away and brought it to his lips.
?I love you.? He stared at her, his chest heaving from the emotional effort it had taken to finally speak the words out loud. ?That?s what I came here for,? he finished. ?That?s all.?
She wanted to say something, but she could only stare at him in wonder. The rain was pounding them, and his wet, dark hair hung in his eyes. Those deep blue eyes that looked like the color of outer space as he gazed at her in the cool, wet darkness. Her breath caught in her throat as fresh tears mingled with the rain on her face.
?Heero,? she whispered, at last. ?I love you, too.?
He gave her small, knowing smile and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her to him for a slow, tender kiss. As the rain continued to cascade over them, their kisses grew more and more fervent. They could hear thunder rolling in the distance, but were too absorbed in one another to realize it was growing closer. They were completely unprepared when lightning struck the ground around them.
Relena abruptly ended their kiss with a shriek, and Heero tightened his hold on her protectively. Sparks danced around them like blue fire. It lasted for only a brief moment, and when they realized they were safe, they looked at one another and began to laugh?Relena with her girlish giggle, and Heero with a barely perceptible chuckle.
Heero could care less that they were standing in the middle of the worst storm he?d ever seen. All he wanted to do was continue holding her like this. But at the same time, he still felt it was his job to keep her safe.
?We should get inside before it gets any worse,? he murmured.
?Do we have to?? Relena?s eyes glinted mischievously.
?Yes.? With that, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her back into the castle. She laughed as she held on to him, enjoying the way her hands felt on his wet shoulders, wishing this feeling would never end.
Heero and Relena could hardly stop kissing one another as he made his way to her room, still carrying her. He took one of the castle?s back staircases in an attempt to evade her guests; he could only hope that he?d succeeded, because he was too preoccupied with Relena to notice anything else.
After what seemed like an eternity, they reached the refuge of her bedroom. This time, as they tumbled onto the large bed, Relena was the one who knocked Heero down forcefully; he didn?t mind, to say the least. His mind grew hazy as she straddled him with her hips, and pulled at the fabric of his shirt. She lifted it gleefully over his head and ran her fingers over his chiseled chest and abs. Her light touches were driving him crazy, and he longed for something deeper. The laces of her summer dress were undone in just one tug, and he could easily slip it off of her. She was beginning to shrug out of it herself when something held Heero back.
?Relena.? He pressed his forehead against hers. ?Relena, wait.?
She seemed shocked that he had stopped her. ?What is it, Heero??
?Something?s not right,? he said, shaking his head.
She blinked. ?But? I thought you wanted to do this??
?Yeah, I do. But not if you don?t.? He tipped her chin up with his hand. ?And besides, I already told you?that?s not what I came here for.?
?So? you really came all the way here just to tell me you love me??
?Yes.?
?Then,? she slowly trailed a finger down his chest, ?what did you expect in return??
He caught her hand in his. ?Nothing.?
Her eyes widened. ?Didn?t you at least hope I would say it back??
He shrugged. ?I hoped you would, but I didn?t know what to expect. I thought you might be angry with me for staying gone so long.?
?Oh, I know better than that,? Relena said pointedly. ?Work is work. We both understand that. I knew you?d be away for an extended period this time. How did that undercover thing go, anyway??
Heero gave her a small, seductive smile. ?If I told you,? he murmured, kissing her hand, ?I?d have to kill you.?
She laughed and settled against him. ?Well, that?s nothing new... But how about we finish this first?? Her eyes sparked with desire, and she leaned forward to kiss him.
?Wait, Relena.?
Her eyes flashed again, and this time she looked slightly hurt. ?Why do you keep doing that??
?Because I don?t want you to compromise yourself. I want you to be sure.?
?Compromise myself? Heero, I know you?re not trying to force me.?
?You thought I was earlier,? he pointed out.
?No, I didn?t,? she sighed. ?I just thought that was all you were after. All I wanted to know was that you loved me first. If we do it this way, we can let things progress in a more natural order.?
Heero shook his head. ?It still doesn?t feel right. I need to give you more than this.?
Relena raised a delicate eyebrow. ?Why? I know you love me. Why don?t you think that?s enough?? She rested her head against his bare chest. ?It?s all I?ve ever wanted, Heero. Honestly.?
?I do love you, Relena,? he murmured as he began to stroke her hair. ?But I don?t want you to do anything you?d regret. So let?s relax for a while; see where this goes.?
?Relax?? He could practically feel her temper flaring up, something he was beginning to find amusing, since usually she was so serene. With this newfound temper came fireworks they had never shared before. He decided that he could get used to arguing with her, even enjoy it. ?What do you mean, relax?? she continued.
?It?s getting late. We should probably just sleep.?
She exhaled, blowing her bangs off her forehead in the process. ?If that?s what you want, Heero. But I think we?ll have a hard time sleeping beside one another tonight.?
With that, she crawled off her bed, clutching her nearly discarded dress against her. She grabbed a nightgown out of a dresser drawer and slipped into her adjoining bathroom. Heero dug out the few items he needed from his suitcase, changed into dark blue pajama pants, and waited outside the bathroom door. When Relena opened it a few minutes later, her jaw nearly hit the floor.
?Heero! You can?t sleep next to me wearing that.?
He glanced down at his attire and shrugged. ?Why not??
She rolled her eyes. ?Because if you?re only wearing that, I might as well sleep naked.?
He cocked an eyebrow. ?Not if you want to keep your virginity intact.?
She met the challenge in his eyes and smiled. ?Maybe I don?t. I thought that was the point.? To her delight, his face turned red. ?Oh, wait. You wanted to spend a chaste night sleeping together, not sleeping together.? She spun her heel and sashayed back into the bedroom.
Heero watched the womanly figure walking away from him, the silk nightgown hugging her every curve. This is going to be harder than I thought, he realized.
They spent the next few hours tossing and turning in the large bed, each consumed by inner torment. Finally, Relena turned to him.
?Heero,? she said hotly, ?remind me again what we?re waiting for??
He placed a finger against her lips. ?Go to sleep,? he murmured.
?I mean it! I don?t see why we need to torture ourselves; I don?t know about you, but I?m going crazy over here.?
?Relena?? His eyes studied her, even in the dark. ?You may not think you want something more now, but you will.?
?What do you mean by something more??
?I mean a deeper commitment.?
?This would be a deeper commitment.?
?Not enough.? He shook his head solemnly. ?Not for me. I want to be able to provide for you.?
She started to laugh, but then she realized he was serious. ?But Heero, you don?t have to earn my love.?
?I know. But I want to. I have to be able to give you more than just? myself.?
She slipped her arms around his neck. ?But you?re all I want.?
He pulled her against him, suddenly, and gripped her tightly in his arms. ?Then marry me.?
?What? Are you serious??
?Why wouldn?t I be?? He kissed her neck softly. ?I told you?I love you. I?m tired of being separated from you. It?s as simple as that.? He kissed her face, going from her forehead to her nose and, lastly, to her lips. ?Let?s get married.?
?Heero.? Relena didn?t know if she had whispered his name, or just thought it. Her voice seemed lost somewhere inside of her. She opened her mouth, but became speechless once more as she saw that Heero was holding a small velvet box. He opened it to reveal a traditional, princess cut diamond solitaire. Even though most of her room was obscured by the night?s darkness, Relena could see the ring reflecting the moonlight from her window. She blinked. ?Heero? Where did you get that?? She hadn?t realized his pajama pants even had pockets. She reached down and felt for herself? There were none. ?Seriously, Heero. How did you pull that out of nowhere??
He smiled. ?The same way I pull out my gun. Now? will you??
She was so dazed by his surprise that she had forgotten to answer him. Tears misted her eyes as she whispered, ?Yes, Heero. A thousand times, yes!?
Then, once more, they became lost in the sea of one another?s kisses. And that night, the fiercest storm couldn?t part them as they began their new future as one.
Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm,
For love is as strong as death
Its jealousy unyielding as the grave
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame
Many waters cannot quench love;
Neither can floods drown it...
(Song of Songs 8: 6-7)
END
