Watching You
Author:illy23
Rating:PG
Author's Note: This supposed to be a story written on Valentine's Day but I could not have a chance beingout of the town that day, so I am sorry for that.
Summary: Heero watches Relena and sees something thatstill brings him hope
I watch her as she sleeps, as every intake of breath makes her breast rise and fall. I listen to her quiet slumber, letting the small sounds of her dreams fill the chamber. I watch as the darkness folds around her, sweeping her up in a tender embrace, almost hiding her from my sight. I cannot sleep this night, it has been long now since I had a good night's rest. All I do is watch her, and fear for her.
You told me this would happen, beloved. You told me of your fear that I might leave you when the time came. Indeed there were, but none that I loved like I loved you. Like I still love you with all that is left of my heart.You are not the only one who is aging, Relena. When I look into a mirror I see not the young man I once was, but a stranger looking back at me. Dark hair has become ashen, clear eyes are slowly losing their
fire. I do not show it, but also my strength is fading, the strength and passion that won your affection.
I watch your hair falling over the pillows, over your slender shoulders. How I loved to run my hands through those golden strands! How I loved to wash your hair, to brush your hair and braid it like you wanted. The
light of the sun and the burden of many years have left that hair barren, cold and dull like a grey morning in fall. And I know that when you open your eyes to look at me, the vibrant colours of green and blue have changed into that same, ocean blue tone. I stroke your cheek, softly so that you will not wake. You need to sleep, my love, to rest and recover the
strength a hard day's labour has taken from you. Your skin is hard under my touch, but there are few wrinkles. Your face still too fair for me to describe, just as it was that day when hope returned.
Yes, you are beautiful Relena, you will always be beautiful to me. There is so much that I am grateful for, so much in life that I treasure. Everyday when I look upon our children my heart swells with joy. Every time I see your smile in the mornings I know that life is worth living. Where would I be today without you? Who would I be? What will I do when you are no longer here? I will be there when the time comes to say farewell, to hold your hand, to watch you as I've always watched you, while you fall into a peaceful sleep.
We grow old, and we die. Somewhere in between we manage to live, to
write great stories of bravery and love, and even before it is over we despair. For we know that it is all lost to us in the end. That the fruits of our labours can never be ours to keep. Such a short flame,but so very strong. I watch your face and try to imagine life without you. To wake one morning and know that you will not be there to smile at me, to tease me and kiss me and hold me and scream at me. I try to imagine the feeling of
an empty bed, an empty space in my heart, and somewhere inside of me I find that I can do this. I can live without you, because I have to. It was the price we paid, that I paid to love you, and it will all be worth it in the end. You have given me your light and happiness. Somehow I will learn to deal withyour loss.
I will live, Relena, and your memory will follow me until the end. Not in despair, my love. We will never fall to despair.If I ever fail, then I shall remember watching you. Watching you desperate and resolute in the gardens, when your eyes cried for death and my heart feared. Watching you upon the terrace as the cloak flowed around you, the sun finally broke through and touched your golden head, and my heart loved you.
Watching you holding a child in your arms, our child, when I knew for sure that I would always worship you. As I watch you now body aches. I cannot feel you as I once did, not hold you like I used to. But I can love
you, my lady, and that is enough. And the day you depart, when I open my eyes and find that you're missing, you will not be dead to me. Death cannot touch us, my white dove of peace!
I lay down beside you, feeling your scent with every intake of breath.
This is immortality, to sleep by your side.This is when we touch upon eternity.
FIC: Watching You 1/1
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Heero In Love
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