Do You Know Where You're Going To? (Songfic / Chap 2b)
Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2006 1:16 pm
Notes: Boy, am I EVER sorry this came out a wee bit later than I had originally wanted. 
I swear, I've been going through this fic and editing and re-editing like a crazed fangirl on helium because I really want to make sure that discrepancies are ironed out properly. Hehehe... Anyways, I hope you like this one. 
*******
Relena came out of the building about an hour later. Heero had been wondering for some time when she would come out after his third cigarette but after he saw the lights of her office flicker out, he slid into the car and got it started.
She had chosen not to put on her blazer and instead draped it over her arm. A slight evening breeze ruffled her blouse as she strode towards him. In another hand she carried her briefcase that was full of paperwork. With every purposeful step, the heels that were as thin as icepicks clicked on the pavement. She then climbed into the backseat, placing her briefcase neatly beside her as she nodded for him to head home. Slowly, Heero shifted gears and drove the car carefully out of the parking lot.
From the rearview mirror, he occasionally glanced at her, spying the tired circles around her eyes when passing streetlights illuminated her face. Still, she kept herself awake, taking out her digital planner and studying her itinerary for tomorrow very carefully.
"Relena, maybe you should get some rest when you get home," he said, giving her a brief glance from the rearview mirror. She looked up and shook her head.
"There will be plenty of time for me to rest when I'm dead, Agent Yuy," she replied, a ghost of a smile flickering on her lips and fading just as quickly.
Heero had stiffened, not knowing whether that was a joke or not. It was becoming very difficult to tell. Relena had been learning to perfect a poker face since she was fifteen. Ten years later, she looked very much like she had been carved out of stone. He had missed the traces of that smile as it had been hidden in shadows.
He averted his gaze from the road again to regard her a little longer. "I don't think anyone would be very happy if that happens, Relena..."
Relena raised an eyebrow at him. "Relax, Agent Yuy. It was an attempt at a joke," she said in a rather clipped tone. "My term doesn't end for another three years and I have no intentions of dying on the job."
'Gee... That was comforting, huh, Yuy?' a small voice spoke up. For a moment, Heero actually thought it sounded just like Duo Maxwell.
"Relena...that's not what I meant. I'm really sorry..." Heero trailed off, shaking his head and deciding to concentrate on his driving. He was already at a loss what to say - partly because her crisp responses were not the conversation he had wanted to have with her and partly because there were a million things he wanted to say to her...confused feelings, words that had no sense, emotions that were full to bursting and if he grabbed onto just ONE of those thoughts, there was more probability that he could end up saying the wrong thing.
She effectively ended their conversation again, saying, "Apology accepted, Agent Yuy. No offense taken."
Heero nodded and said nothing more. As they drove on, he tuned his thoughts to the past he shared with Relena. It amazed him that the lives of so many could be so intricately-woven with hers. During the war, he had not thought of anything more than to complete his mission at the cost of his life. At that time, she had been a mere slip of a girl, a distraction he was determined to eliminate. But by and by, the war set everything in motion and Relena became the only reason why he and the others had survived for so long.
They were soldiers fighting in different wars. He had fought his long and hard while Relena was still fighting hers. Even now, when peace seemed to be more real, more felt, she was as relentless as ever in her crusade to end violence. Yet she had become more aware of the realities of the world. That it is in times of peace that people prepare feverishly for war.
As Relena settled more and more into her duties as Vice Foreign Minister, Heero constantly struggled with his newfound freedom. Things he had never fully comprehended before were surfacing and he found that with the peace that they now had, things were a bit easier to accept. It was still a little difficult to strike a conversation, yes, and he always felt like it was easier to stay quiet than to add to any more noise, especially where Duo was concerned. But he was starting to accept that there would be no more wars. He would make sure of it. His friends would make sure of it.
In the years that he came to understand his humanity, Heero had been around a lot of people from all walks of life. From families strolling in the park, to couples sharing a picnic blanket underneath trees, Heero was slowly starting to understand that life was never as simple as it looked. That beneath all the happiness that people shared with one another they shared an instinct to protect each other as well. And their lives were forever entwined because of that.
He was only starting to understand then that Relena was his life.
?I tell ya, buddy, I?m NEVER going through that war EVER again,? Duo Maxwell declared, waving a fry at him one afternoon that they were eating at a fastfood store. ?Hilde and I have something real good going. We?re young and people say we?ve all got a lot of time ahead of us, but hey, we may never have enough time.?
?You always never have enough time,? Heero retorted sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at the braided man. ?Everything from the food cabinet to used machinery sales is a race for you.?
Duo laughed and nodded. ?Yeah, and I know you didn?t mean to be funny when you said that, man, but it sounded like a joke to me.?
His violet eyes turned serious then as he stirred the remains of his soggy hot fudge sundae. ?I just don?t want to waste my life on regrets,? he continued. ?I?ve got so many of them that I feel I?ll go crazy if I screw up anymore. I want a real life, Heero. A real life with no trauma, no nightmares, no waking up and wondering if you?re still alive or if you?re half-dead. And you know, a mini-Maxwell would do me some good, too,? he drawled, his eyes twinkling with mischief as Heero paled slightly.
?Duo, I?m warning you, if you dare to have too many versions of you, you?re never raiding my apartment again for free food,? Heero glared. ?I may not be a Gundam pilot anymore, but I?m still licensed to carry a gun. And NO, I?m not babysitting your brats,? he added when Duo opened his mouth to protest.
?Not even if I offer you some motorcycle parts for half the price?? the American asked.
?Fuck off.?
Eight years ago, Heero would have found it very difficult to relax. He would have found it very difficult to understand Duo?s sense of humor or even reply with sarcasm. Even silent Trowa was learning to ease up. At least now he could calmly return a joke with Duo or manage to exchange pleasantries with the rest of the Preventer staff. Wufei still retained some of his views about women, although he begrudgingly admitted that there were more efficient women staffers working for them than there were men.
This was the peace they had only imagined, Quatre had told them once when he had been on one delegation from L4. They had once thought it would remain a dream and would die when they died, but they had won and the dream became a reality. Now and then, yes, there were small disturbances, but those who bore the scars had learned from them. At the helm was Relena, a living and breathing symbol of hope and determination. Now that weapons were being laid down, it was Relena who was fighting the hardest against high-ranking officials who could not accept what had been restored.
It was for her that the Gundam pilots and so many others had devoted their lives. For her and for the cause she continued to uphold.
The sound of ocean waves brought Heero slowly back to reality. He looked out his window and saw the beach and how the moonlight danced on the water. The salty breeze wafted through his nostrils and he realized that Relena had opened her window to let the fresh air in. Following her lead, he opened his window and breathed in. The smell brought back a memory of Relena, quite as clear as all the others and Heero realized that he had smelled that same salty air when he had first met her. Back then, it had mingled with the more metallic odor of blood and he knew he had been injured, but he remembered the sight of a splendid pair of clear blue-green eyes most of all.
The girl had been shocked to see that he was still alive. There was another look on her face, one he could not understand. She looked like she wanted to tend his wound and she had asked if he needed any help. He had threatened to kill her back then. But each and every time he had the chance, he saw her eyes that glittered calmly as she stared back at him and he found he could never bring himself to pull the trigger.
She had been worried about him that time. She had worried about him ever since. As they both grew up, she showed tireless concern for him and he had come to welcome it.
?But she doesn?t worry about you anymore, Heero...?
He glanced up again at the rearview mirror. Relena had completely ignored the ocean view and was studying her planner again, her delicate brows knitting together in concentration.
?No,? he silently agreed. ?I worry about her now...?
~TBC~
I swear, I've been going through this fic and editing and re-editing like a crazed fangirl on helium because I really want to make sure that discrepancies are ironed out properly. Hehehe... Anyways, I hope you like this one. *******
Relena came out of the building about an hour later. Heero had been wondering for some time when she would come out after his third cigarette but after he saw the lights of her office flicker out, he slid into the car and got it started.
She had chosen not to put on her blazer and instead draped it over her arm. A slight evening breeze ruffled her blouse as she strode towards him. In another hand she carried her briefcase that was full of paperwork. With every purposeful step, the heels that were as thin as icepicks clicked on the pavement. She then climbed into the backseat, placing her briefcase neatly beside her as she nodded for him to head home. Slowly, Heero shifted gears and drove the car carefully out of the parking lot.
From the rearview mirror, he occasionally glanced at her, spying the tired circles around her eyes when passing streetlights illuminated her face. Still, she kept herself awake, taking out her digital planner and studying her itinerary for tomorrow very carefully.
"Relena, maybe you should get some rest when you get home," he said, giving her a brief glance from the rearview mirror. She looked up and shook her head.
"There will be plenty of time for me to rest when I'm dead, Agent Yuy," she replied, a ghost of a smile flickering on her lips and fading just as quickly.
Heero had stiffened, not knowing whether that was a joke or not. It was becoming very difficult to tell. Relena had been learning to perfect a poker face since she was fifteen. Ten years later, she looked very much like she had been carved out of stone. He had missed the traces of that smile as it had been hidden in shadows.
He averted his gaze from the road again to regard her a little longer. "I don't think anyone would be very happy if that happens, Relena..."
Relena raised an eyebrow at him. "Relax, Agent Yuy. It was an attempt at a joke," she said in a rather clipped tone. "My term doesn't end for another three years and I have no intentions of dying on the job."
'Gee... That was comforting, huh, Yuy?' a small voice spoke up. For a moment, Heero actually thought it sounded just like Duo Maxwell.
"Relena...that's not what I meant. I'm really sorry..." Heero trailed off, shaking his head and deciding to concentrate on his driving. He was already at a loss what to say - partly because her crisp responses were not the conversation he had wanted to have with her and partly because there were a million things he wanted to say to her...confused feelings, words that had no sense, emotions that were full to bursting and if he grabbed onto just ONE of those thoughts, there was more probability that he could end up saying the wrong thing.
She effectively ended their conversation again, saying, "Apology accepted, Agent Yuy. No offense taken."
Heero nodded and said nothing more. As they drove on, he tuned his thoughts to the past he shared with Relena. It amazed him that the lives of so many could be so intricately-woven with hers. During the war, he had not thought of anything more than to complete his mission at the cost of his life. At that time, she had been a mere slip of a girl, a distraction he was determined to eliminate. But by and by, the war set everything in motion and Relena became the only reason why he and the others had survived for so long.
They were soldiers fighting in different wars. He had fought his long and hard while Relena was still fighting hers. Even now, when peace seemed to be more real, more felt, she was as relentless as ever in her crusade to end violence. Yet she had become more aware of the realities of the world. That it is in times of peace that people prepare feverishly for war.
As Relena settled more and more into her duties as Vice Foreign Minister, Heero constantly struggled with his newfound freedom. Things he had never fully comprehended before were surfacing and he found that with the peace that they now had, things were a bit easier to accept. It was still a little difficult to strike a conversation, yes, and he always felt like it was easier to stay quiet than to add to any more noise, especially where Duo was concerned. But he was starting to accept that there would be no more wars. He would make sure of it. His friends would make sure of it.
In the years that he came to understand his humanity, Heero had been around a lot of people from all walks of life. From families strolling in the park, to couples sharing a picnic blanket underneath trees, Heero was slowly starting to understand that life was never as simple as it looked. That beneath all the happiness that people shared with one another they shared an instinct to protect each other as well. And their lives were forever entwined because of that.
He was only starting to understand then that Relena was his life.
?I tell ya, buddy, I?m NEVER going through that war EVER again,? Duo Maxwell declared, waving a fry at him one afternoon that they were eating at a fastfood store. ?Hilde and I have something real good going. We?re young and people say we?ve all got a lot of time ahead of us, but hey, we may never have enough time.?
?You always never have enough time,? Heero retorted sarcastically, raising an eyebrow at the braided man. ?Everything from the food cabinet to used machinery sales is a race for you.?
Duo laughed and nodded. ?Yeah, and I know you didn?t mean to be funny when you said that, man, but it sounded like a joke to me.?
His violet eyes turned serious then as he stirred the remains of his soggy hot fudge sundae. ?I just don?t want to waste my life on regrets,? he continued. ?I?ve got so many of them that I feel I?ll go crazy if I screw up anymore. I want a real life, Heero. A real life with no trauma, no nightmares, no waking up and wondering if you?re still alive or if you?re half-dead. And you know, a mini-Maxwell would do me some good, too,? he drawled, his eyes twinkling with mischief as Heero paled slightly.
?Duo, I?m warning you, if you dare to have too many versions of you, you?re never raiding my apartment again for free food,? Heero glared. ?I may not be a Gundam pilot anymore, but I?m still licensed to carry a gun. And NO, I?m not babysitting your brats,? he added when Duo opened his mouth to protest.
?Not even if I offer you some motorcycle parts for half the price?? the American asked.
?Fuck off.?
Eight years ago, Heero would have found it very difficult to relax. He would have found it very difficult to understand Duo?s sense of humor or even reply with sarcasm. Even silent Trowa was learning to ease up. At least now he could calmly return a joke with Duo or manage to exchange pleasantries with the rest of the Preventer staff. Wufei still retained some of his views about women, although he begrudgingly admitted that there were more efficient women staffers working for them than there were men.
This was the peace they had only imagined, Quatre had told them once when he had been on one delegation from L4. They had once thought it would remain a dream and would die when they died, but they had won and the dream became a reality. Now and then, yes, there were small disturbances, but those who bore the scars had learned from them. At the helm was Relena, a living and breathing symbol of hope and determination. Now that weapons were being laid down, it was Relena who was fighting the hardest against high-ranking officials who could not accept what had been restored.
It was for her that the Gundam pilots and so many others had devoted their lives. For her and for the cause she continued to uphold.
The sound of ocean waves brought Heero slowly back to reality. He looked out his window and saw the beach and how the moonlight danced on the water. The salty breeze wafted through his nostrils and he realized that Relena had opened her window to let the fresh air in. Following her lead, he opened his window and breathed in. The smell brought back a memory of Relena, quite as clear as all the others and Heero realized that he had smelled that same salty air when he had first met her. Back then, it had mingled with the more metallic odor of blood and he knew he had been injured, but he remembered the sight of a splendid pair of clear blue-green eyes most of all.
The girl had been shocked to see that he was still alive. There was another look on her face, one he could not understand. She looked like she wanted to tend his wound and she had asked if he needed any help. He had threatened to kill her back then. But each and every time he had the chance, he saw her eyes that glittered calmly as she stared back at him and he found he could never bring himself to pull the trigger.
She had been worried about him that time. She had worried about him ever since. As they both grew up, she showed tireless concern for him and he had come to welcome it.
?But she doesn?t worry about you anymore, Heero...?
He glanced up again at the rearview mirror. Relena had completely ignored the ocean view and was studying her planner again, her delicate brows knitting together in concentration.
?No,? he silently agreed. ?I worry about her now...?
~TBC~
Heero refusing to babysit Duo's kids even when offered motorcycle parts for 50% off.... 
Poor Heero! He must certainly know how it feels