Do You Know Where You're Going To? (Songfic / Chap 2a)
Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 11:29 pm
Notes: Chapter Two. In the first chapter, we see a glimpse of Relena's personality changes. And just when Heero is starting to acknowledge his emotions, Relena has already started to throw hers away. What will happen to them and to the people who equally care for them? Stay tuned!
The song, by the way, is by Diana Ross. It was revived by Mariah Carey at one point and then by Jennifer Lopez at some other point. While both these women are understandably hot and well-endowed, I don't like their renditions as much as I like the original version. So there.
And this chapter is rather long, so it's going to be split into two parts. 
On with the fic!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
"Do you get what you're hoping for?
When you look behind you, there's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
"No, President Stanton, I believe you are missing the point! These negotiations are not a cop-out but neither did I say that they will prevent war. However this is a course of action that has been agreed upon by the ESUN and the United Federations Alliance. The colonies do not want war and neither do the people of Earth. We have seen one war too many and we will do whatever we can to keep the peace we have struggled and died for!"
Relena had long ago forgotten her dinner and had abruptly stood up, slamming her open palms face-down on the glass table, nearly upsetting the fine china. Heero, who had been quietly eating at one end of the long table looked up as his water glass shook. Relena's glare had turned frosty, and her eyes were nailing President Stanton like twin icicles as she retorted to his earlier remark about another war. The other delegates who were with them were all watching in awe and some of them had even stopped in mid-bite, their forks still poised above their plates.
President William J. Stanton, a burly man in his mid-sixties who hailed from the Americas, regarded Relena sternly. Heero and the rest of the Preventers knew that he was one of the few politicians who did not exactly accept the idea of pacifism. During the war, he had been a decorated naval officer, rising in the ranks until he became Admiral and commandeered the ships stationed off the coast of the Bahamas. When the war had ended, he had found his military skills of practically no use as both Earth and the colonies started to accept total pacifism so he had retired and decided to run for president. Wufei had once said that Stanton was the kind of man who found pleasure in the art of war and that he was of the opinion that Stanton only wanted to run for presidency so he could have an excuse to wage war against some of the trade partners of America.
Heero also knew that he was one of those who did not warm up to the idea of Relena assuming power as Vice Foreign Minister. Stanton was a bigot and a misogynist. He hated being lower in ranks to someone who was both half his age and a woman and Heero knew that he would not sit well with Relena in power for a very long time.
"Miss Peacecraft," Stanton began but was sharply cut off by Relena.
"That's VICE FOREIGN MINISTER DARLIAN to you, President Stanton," she interrupted, her eyes narrowing. "I believe I have not granted you permission to address me so condescendingly."
Stanton turned red as he glowered at Relena. "Very well, Vice Foreign Minister Darlian," he amended. Heero could actually see the man's jawline working in spite of the amount of facial hair he had.
President Stanton paused, trying to carefully choose his words as he regarded the young woman who now had her hands on her hips as she stared down at him. "I was merely suggesting that the Americas be allowed to ensure protection for their sovereignty. The Middle East is still going through unrest from what my sources have told me. I only wish to protect America and its citizens. Everything I am telling you is for the greater good. I have nothing but America's best interest in mind."
No sooner had those words left President Stanton's mouth when Relena let out a sharp, brittle laugh. "Is it really in America's best interest or in YOUR best interest, President Stanton?"
'Right on the button,' Heero mused silently as he watched the older man fume in his seat. Relena had learned everything about politics and was becoming a hard and professional power player. Dinner had long been forgotten as the rest of the delegates seated at the table observed the battle of political wits between two individuals from different generations and yet, had been in the same war. It seemed that the elder would not give in and was about to speak, but whatever he had wanted to say in retort had died on his lips. This gave Relena the opportunity she had been waiting for. She was now confident that she had everyone's full attention so she wasted no time in laying down all her cards to seal the game and her victory.
"I have made it known to the ESUN and the UFA that I will not and will NEVER condone any action that will lead to another war," she said in clear, ringing tones that reverberated through the vast dining hall and Heero thought she had never looked so beautiful then. "People have fought long and hard for the peace we now enjoy. People have died for it. And I will be damned to hell before I see that peace destroyed," she declared, her face hardening with resolve.
"We will continue to rely on negotiations and peace talks to strengthen the bonds of unity between America and the Middle East as well as the other trading partners of the ESUN. There will be no further taking up of arms. We do this in honor of the heroes who have fallen before us, the silent ones and the glorious ones. I will not allow any threat whatsoever to follow through on what the people of the Earth and the colonies have worked hard to achieve.
"It is quite clear to me," Relena said, not yet finished with her targets. "that America will NOT continue ANY attempt at war with the Middle East."
*******
Heero volunteered to drive Relena home when she had sent her chauffeur ahead of her. She was going to stay late again at the office to finish more paperwork, Heero knew as he surveyed the young woman bidding goodbye to her remaining guests. President Stanton had been sufficiently put in his place and although the rest of dinner had progressed with a rather awkward silence, Relena had made sure that no stone had been left unturned and the conference that had been overextended into dinner ended in a success. One of the delegates, a Frau Schlegel had congratulated her, saying that her acting had been sublime and she would be proudly telling the story to the rest of the ESUN next week.
He had snorted derisively at that. Relena NEVER acted. Everything that she said, everything that she did, she carried about with courage and conviction. With her position of power and her tremendous influence, it was a miracle that she had maintained integrity and for that she had been re-elected twice for the position of Vice Foreign Minister by the United Tribunal. They knew as well as Heero that there could never be anyone more perfect for the post than Relena.
As the last delegate said goodbye, he noticed the slight slump in Relena's shoulders even as she crossed the hall and opened the door connecting her office to the dining hall and walked out. The echo of her heels died and he was left standing there, letting the remaining debates trickle into his mind. Her speech and her delivery of her project proposals had been swift and ruthless. None of the delegates could even utter a word as she rattled off statistics in rapid succession, countering whatever loopholes she found in their arguments. In the political arena, Relena Peacecraft was a force to be reckoned with. She was more precise with her work now, more dedicated than ever before and far more ruthless. Though she never resorted to what politicians often referred to as "dirty tactics", she had gained a confidence that enabled her to fight and win.
Her debate with President Stanton proved that all too well. The man had attempted to sweet-talk Relena, using carefully-chosen words to sugarcoat the truth about his intentions but he had underestimated her. Relena saw right through it.
Heero smirked. The old man had forgotten that Relena had grown up. Had the rest of the Preventers been there, they probably would have applauded at how the Vice Foreign Minister had handled the entire dinner "conversation". Wufei would probably even give a respectful nod to Relena.
Relena.
His thoughts rested on her all throughout dinner. When she had mentioned the war heroes in her passionate retort against Stanton, he thought he saw her eyes rest briefly on him, but he realized he probably only imagined it. Relena never spared him a glance unless she needed his attention and usually it was when she was giving him instructions about security or giving him authorization to proceed with a mission when he needed her signature. He felt sometimes that he was just a piece of furniture now, blending in with the wall as Relena often walked past him without noticing he was there. Sometimes he actually had to speak up and greet her with a 'good morning' so she would actually respond and call him by his name, however formal it was.
He snapped out of his train of thought when he heard her summon him through the intercom.
"Agent Yuy, please come into my office."
Heero shook his head to clear his thoughts as he crossed the dining hall. Reaching for the knob, he carefully turned it and slowly pushed the door open and walked in, knowing that Relena would not expect him to knock anymore. He closed the door quietly behind him, regarding Relena carefully beneath the mess of his bangs.
She was busy at her desk, signing documents and going through a pile of folders. In spite of the stress from what had transpired earlier, her posture never wavered and she kept close attention to everything she was signing. Bringing a hand up, she beckoned him silently to come closer to her side.
She had removed her blazer and draped it over her chair to reveal the sleeveless white v-neck blouse she wore underneath. He noted how her arms were toned but still retaining their slender shape as they stretched out on the desk. Hilde called them 'ballerina arms' once, saying that she envied how graceful ballerina's arms looked next to her slightly more muscular ones. In the harsh light, Relena's skin glowed with health and Heero wondered what her skin would feel like now. He had held her before when they were teenagers, yes. But the physical contact dwindled through the years until he felt he was no longer allowed to touch her. She refused to be guided through throngs of unruly reporters, preferring that he go ahead of her instead to fend them off.
It sometimes amazed him how she could actually meet so many demands on her job and keep her desk perfectly organized. Then again, with the insane hours she worked, Heero knew that Relena was on top of her game. She woke up early, arriving at her office at five-thirty in the morning when all of her staff was still asleep where she would be alone until seven or eight in the morning and she left at nine in the evening, locking up the office herself. Between conferences, charity dinners, raffles, lectures and other such obligations, Relena made sure that she brought enough of her office workload with her to accomplish. As a result, she was never behind schedule in meeting deadlines.
She cleared her throat, jolting him to attention as she handed him several folders from the pile. "Have Jenny send these out to Prime Minister Gascoul, Agent Yuy. France's trade union has been quite shaky as of late and they need these documents tomorrow. They won't give in to trade agreements until they are assured of their standing in the ESUN."
He nodded, accepting the folders from her and tucking them under his arm. He was very close to her now, standing over her as he watched her work. He wanted to say something, anything to get her to say something more so he said the first thing that came to mind.
"You were amazing back there, Relena." And he meant what he said. She HAD been amazing. She WAS amazing. Now if only she would look up and smile at him.
Relena nodded her thanks, never pausing in her work and never glancing up at him. "President Stanton is a good man, Agent Yuy. He is just occasionally misguided."
Heero found himself smiling slightly at that. "He may become a fan of your work yet, Relena," he said mildly, although he knew that she was skeptical.
Relena only replied "Hn..."
And just like that, their conversation ended.
Heero stood there, tongue-tied and unsure of what to say next, but he saw how Relena could not be distracted and he sighed inwardly. "I'll go get the car started up, Vice Foreign Minister Darlian," he said, bowing slightly and turning to leave her office. Once outside the office, Heero leaned heavily against the wall, hearing only his heartbeat in the vast dining hall.
'Agent Yuy'...that was what she called him now. Not even in the times when he'd be alone with her did she revert to 'Heero'. He was simply just another agent now and that bothered him. He had never expected Relena to change into someone this...cold. He had hoped, in fact, that she would NOT change. He had seen her grow up from a distance and outwardly, the changes in her had been stunning. She lost some of her baby fat and her face was now a little more elongated and defined. Her hair, he suspected, was longer now, but she never let it down now, preferring to wear the same severe hairstyles everyday to work. She stood taller now at five feet and eight inches, having had a sudden growth spurt when she was eighteen. He was still taller than her at six feet and two inches just like Duo and Trowa, but Duo had once remarked that he often felt small around her now, especially with her new 'personality'.
He wished he could confide in Duo as well about how it bothered him at certain times that Relena never noticed him and how she also made him feel 'small'. But he didn't understand why he was feeling that way. He argued with himself that he ought to be happy that Relena had pretty much sorted out her priorities and wasn't following him around anymore or asking any mundane questions about his health, but the more she brushed him aside, the more he found himself wanting to take back every hurtful thing he had ever said to her if only to have the old Relena back.
It hit him in the gut one morning after he had escorted her to a conference in France that he MISSED her. He missed the smile in her voice, he missed the way her eyes used to dance when she'd point out something beautiful to him or tell him about her dreams. He missed how she would suddenly smile and brush her fingertips briefly over his knuckles to reassure him that she was okay. He missed her beautiful laughter when Duo regaled her with his jokes. He missed the way she would say his name, sometimes in a breathy rush that made him think of a summer field and wind blowing through long grass.
He missed what she used to be. And the ache for that part of her grew stronger everyday that she waved him off or comepletely ignored him.
What caused her to change, he really had no idea. Noin pointed out that it was because he wasn't always around and he had missed seeing the subtle hints of her changes until it was too late. He could tell that Relena's sister-in-law was missing her too. Living in that mansion and not having Relena's vibrance made her sad. Zechs, no matter how grumpy he was, often spoke of how the changes seemed to have affected the mansion itself. The servants seemed to be intimidated around Relena now and though they still spoke of her with fondness, there was a shared sadness that passed between them.
"I wish things were different..." he murmured as he stepped out of the building and walked Relena's parked Mercedes.
~TBC~
The song, by the way, is by Diana Ross. It was revived by Mariah Carey at one point and then by Jennifer Lopez at some other point. While both these women are understandably hot and well-endowed, I don't like their renditions as much as I like the original version. So there.
And this chapter is rather long, so it's going to be split into two parts. On with the fic!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
"Do you get what you're hoping for?
When you look behind you, there's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
"No, President Stanton, I believe you are missing the point! These negotiations are not a cop-out but neither did I say that they will prevent war. However this is a course of action that has been agreed upon by the ESUN and the United Federations Alliance. The colonies do not want war and neither do the people of Earth. We have seen one war too many and we will do whatever we can to keep the peace we have struggled and died for!"
Relena had long ago forgotten her dinner and had abruptly stood up, slamming her open palms face-down on the glass table, nearly upsetting the fine china. Heero, who had been quietly eating at one end of the long table looked up as his water glass shook. Relena's glare had turned frosty, and her eyes were nailing President Stanton like twin icicles as she retorted to his earlier remark about another war. The other delegates who were with them were all watching in awe and some of them had even stopped in mid-bite, their forks still poised above their plates.
President William J. Stanton, a burly man in his mid-sixties who hailed from the Americas, regarded Relena sternly. Heero and the rest of the Preventers knew that he was one of the few politicians who did not exactly accept the idea of pacifism. During the war, he had been a decorated naval officer, rising in the ranks until he became Admiral and commandeered the ships stationed off the coast of the Bahamas. When the war had ended, he had found his military skills of practically no use as both Earth and the colonies started to accept total pacifism so he had retired and decided to run for president. Wufei had once said that Stanton was the kind of man who found pleasure in the art of war and that he was of the opinion that Stanton only wanted to run for presidency so he could have an excuse to wage war against some of the trade partners of America.
Heero also knew that he was one of those who did not warm up to the idea of Relena assuming power as Vice Foreign Minister. Stanton was a bigot and a misogynist. He hated being lower in ranks to someone who was both half his age and a woman and Heero knew that he would not sit well with Relena in power for a very long time.
"Miss Peacecraft," Stanton began but was sharply cut off by Relena.
"That's VICE FOREIGN MINISTER DARLIAN to you, President Stanton," she interrupted, her eyes narrowing. "I believe I have not granted you permission to address me so condescendingly."
Stanton turned red as he glowered at Relena. "Very well, Vice Foreign Minister Darlian," he amended. Heero could actually see the man's jawline working in spite of the amount of facial hair he had.
President Stanton paused, trying to carefully choose his words as he regarded the young woman who now had her hands on her hips as she stared down at him. "I was merely suggesting that the Americas be allowed to ensure protection for their sovereignty. The Middle East is still going through unrest from what my sources have told me. I only wish to protect America and its citizens. Everything I am telling you is for the greater good. I have nothing but America's best interest in mind."
No sooner had those words left President Stanton's mouth when Relena let out a sharp, brittle laugh. "Is it really in America's best interest or in YOUR best interest, President Stanton?"
'Right on the button,' Heero mused silently as he watched the older man fume in his seat. Relena had learned everything about politics and was becoming a hard and professional power player. Dinner had long been forgotten as the rest of the delegates seated at the table observed the battle of political wits between two individuals from different generations and yet, had been in the same war. It seemed that the elder would not give in and was about to speak, but whatever he had wanted to say in retort had died on his lips. This gave Relena the opportunity she had been waiting for. She was now confident that she had everyone's full attention so she wasted no time in laying down all her cards to seal the game and her victory.
"I have made it known to the ESUN and the UFA that I will not and will NEVER condone any action that will lead to another war," she said in clear, ringing tones that reverberated through the vast dining hall and Heero thought she had never looked so beautiful then. "People have fought long and hard for the peace we now enjoy. People have died for it. And I will be damned to hell before I see that peace destroyed," she declared, her face hardening with resolve.
"We will continue to rely on negotiations and peace talks to strengthen the bonds of unity between America and the Middle East as well as the other trading partners of the ESUN. There will be no further taking up of arms. We do this in honor of the heroes who have fallen before us, the silent ones and the glorious ones. I will not allow any threat whatsoever to follow through on what the people of the Earth and the colonies have worked hard to achieve.
"It is quite clear to me," Relena said, not yet finished with her targets. "that America will NOT continue ANY attempt at war with the Middle East."
*******
Heero volunteered to drive Relena home when she had sent her chauffeur ahead of her. She was going to stay late again at the office to finish more paperwork, Heero knew as he surveyed the young woman bidding goodbye to her remaining guests. President Stanton had been sufficiently put in his place and although the rest of dinner had progressed with a rather awkward silence, Relena had made sure that no stone had been left unturned and the conference that had been overextended into dinner ended in a success. One of the delegates, a Frau Schlegel had congratulated her, saying that her acting had been sublime and she would be proudly telling the story to the rest of the ESUN next week.
He had snorted derisively at that. Relena NEVER acted. Everything that she said, everything that she did, she carried about with courage and conviction. With her position of power and her tremendous influence, it was a miracle that she had maintained integrity and for that she had been re-elected twice for the position of Vice Foreign Minister by the United Tribunal. They knew as well as Heero that there could never be anyone more perfect for the post than Relena.
As the last delegate said goodbye, he noticed the slight slump in Relena's shoulders even as she crossed the hall and opened the door connecting her office to the dining hall and walked out. The echo of her heels died and he was left standing there, letting the remaining debates trickle into his mind. Her speech and her delivery of her project proposals had been swift and ruthless. None of the delegates could even utter a word as she rattled off statistics in rapid succession, countering whatever loopholes she found in their arguments. In the political arena, Relena Peacecraft was a force to be reckoned with. She was more precise with her work now, more dedicated than ever before and far more ruthless. Though she never resorted to what politicians often referred to as "dirty tactics", she had gained a confidence that enabled her to fight and win.
Her debate with President Stanton proved that all too well. The man had attempted to sweet-talk Relena, using carefully-chosen words to sugarcoat the truth about his intentions but he had underestimated her. Relena saw right through it.
Heero smirked. The old man had forgotten that Relena had grown up. Had the rest of the Preventers been there, they probably would have applauded at how the Vice Foreign Minister had handled the entire dinner "conversation". Wufei would probably even give a respectful nod to Relena.
Relena.
His thoughts rested on her all throughout dinner. When she had mentioned the war heroes in her passionate retort against Stanton, he thought he saw her eyes rest briefly on him, but he realized he probably only imagined it. Relena never spared him a glance unless she needed his attention and usually it was when she was giving him instructions about security or giving him authorization to proceed with a mission when he needed her signature. He felt sometimes that he was just a piece of furniture now, blending in with the wall as Relena often walked past him without noticing he was there. Sometimes he actually had to speak up and greet her with a 'good morning' so she would actually respond and call him by his name, however formal it was.
He snapped out of his train of thought when he heard her summon him through the intercom.
"Agent Yuy, please come into my office."
Heero shook his head to clear his thoughts as he crossed the dining hall. Reaching for the knob, he carefully turned it and slowly pushed the door open and walked in, knowing that Relena would not expect him to knock anymore. He closed the door quietly behind him, regarding Relena carefully beneath the mess of his bangs.
She was busy at her desk, signing documents and going through a pile of folders. In spite of the stress from what had transpired earlier, her posture never wavered and she kept close attention to everything she was signing. Bringing a hand up, she beckoned him silently to come closer to her side.
She had removed her blazer and draped it over her chair to reveal the sleeveless white v-neck blouse she wore underneath. He noted how her arms were toned but still retaining their slender shape as they stretched out on the desk. Hilde called them 'ballerina arms' once, saying that she envied how graceful ballerina's arms looked next to her slightly more muscular ones. In the harsh light, Relena's skin glowed with health and Heero wondered what her skin would feel like now. He had held her before when they were teenagers, yes. But the physical contact dwindled through the years until he felt he was no longer allowed to touch her. She refused to be guided through throngs of unruly reporters, preferring that he go ahead of her instead to fend them off.
It sometimes amazed him how she could actually meet so many demands on her job and keep her desk perfectly organized. Then again, with the insane hours she worked, Heero knew that Relena was on top of her game. She woke up early, arriving at her office at five-thirty in the morning when all of her staff was still asleep where she would be alone until seven or eight in the morning and she left at nine in the evening, locking up the office herself. Between conferences, charity dinners, raffles, lectures and other such obligations, Relena made sure that she brought enough of her office workload with her to accomplish. As a result, she was never behind schedule in meeting deadlines.
She cleared her throat, jolting him to attention as she handed him several folders from the pile. "Have Jenny send these out to Prime Minister Gascoul, Agent Yuy. France's trade union has been quite shaky as of late and they need these documents tomorrow. They won't give in to trade agreements until they are assured of their standing in the ESUN."
He nodded, accepting the folders from her and tucking them under his arm. He was very close to her now, standing over her as he watched her work. He wanted to say something, anything to get her to say something more so he said the first thing that came to mind.
"You were amazing back there, Relena." And he meant what he said. She HAD been amazing. She WAS amazing. Now if only she would look up and smile at him.
Relena nodded her thanks, never pausing in her work and never glancing up at him. "President Stanton is a good man, Agent Yuy. He is just occasionally misguided."
Heero found himself smiling slightly at that. "He may become a fan of your work yet, Relena," he said mildly, although he knew that she was skeptical.
Relena only replied "Hn..."
And just like that, their conversation ended.
Heero stood there, tongue-tied and unsure of what to say next, but he saw how Relena could not be distracted and he sighed inwardly. "I'll go get the car started up, Vice Foreign Minister Darlian," he said, bowing slightly and turning to leave her office. Once outside the office, Heero leaned heavily against the wall, hearing only his heartbeat in the vast dining hall.
'Agent Yuy'...that was what she called him now. Not even in the times when he'd be alone with her did she revert to 'Heero'. He was simply just another agent now and that bothered him. He had never expected Relena to change into someone this...cold. He had hoped, in fact, that she would NOT change. He had seen her grow up from a distance and outwardly, the changes in her had been stunning. She lost some of her baby fat and her face was now a little more elongated and defined. Her hair, he suspected, was longer now, but she never let it down now, preferring to wear the same severe hairstyles everyday to work. She stood taller now at five feet and eight inches, having had a sudden growth spurt when she was eighteen. He was still taller than her at six feet and two inches just like Duo and Trowa, but Duo had once remarked that he often felt small around her now, especially with her new 'personality'.
He wished he could confide in Duo as well about how it bothered him at certain times that Relena never noticed him and how she also made him feel 'small'. But he didn't understand why he was feeling that way. He argued with himself that he ought to be happy that Relena had pretty much sorted out her priorities and wasn't following him around anymore or asking any mundane questions about his health, but the more she brushed him aside, the more he found himself wanting to take back every hurtful thing he had ever said to her if only to have the old Relena back.
It hit him in the gut one morning after he had escorted her to a conference in France that he MISSED her. He missed the smile in her voice, he missed the way her eyes used to dance when she'd point out something beautiful to him or tell him about her dreams. He missed how she would suddenly smile and brush her fingertips briefly over his knuckles to reassure him that she was okay. He missed her beautiful laughter when Duo regaled her with his jokes. He missed the way she would say his name, sometimes in a breathy rush that made him think of a summer field and wind blowing through long grass.
He missed what she used to be. And the ache for that part of her grew stronger everyday that she waved him off or comepletely ignored him.
What caused her to change, he really had no idea. Noin pointed out that it was because he wasn't always around and he had missed seeing the subtle hints of her changes until it was too late. He could tell that Relena's sister-in-law was missing her too. Living in that mansion and not having Relena's vibrance made her sad. Zechs, no matter how grumpy he was, often spoke of how the changes seemed to have affected the mansion itself. The servants seemed to be intimidated around Relena now and though they still spoke of her with fondness, there was a shared sadness that passed between them.
"I wish things were different..." he murmured as he stepped out of the building and walked Relena's parked Mercedes.
~TBC~
You could say it's karma, but I'm letting this story come alive by itself. 
