Missing by a Mile Chapter 32 (rated PG-13/R)

[blackrose]

<center><u><b>Missing by a Mile</b></u><p align="center">By the Black Rose</p></center><p><b>AN:</b> I didn't think I'd make it. But, I'm pretty darn close. It's an hour and 45 minutes before midnight ? California time. Of course, I haven't even read over it in its completed form, because frankly, I've been looking at it just about nonstop for the last 6 hours. So, I'm hoping that it's all right.</p> <p>In the meantime, deadline for chapter 33 is?December 11.</p><p>Thank you so much to those who are still with me! *hugs* Love, Rose</p><p><b>Warning: Heero says the f word at the end of the chapter. Rated PG-13/R.</b></p><u><hr size=1 width=100% noshade></u>
<p>Chapter 32</p><p>The image of Relena at the luncheon had long since faded from the screen. To be replaced by the image of Relena riding in the car next to Trowa, which gave way to Relena arriving at her host's home for dinner. Next up would be Relena being driven back to her hotel with Trowa and Wufei at her side, and then Relena going up to her room; this included a thorough scan of the area outside her hotel and all the back hallways and meeting rooms, as well as a quick look through her suite when her personal security detail did their check.</p><p>But it was 7:30, and Heero's shift was over.</p><p>"Sergeant." Mwu LaFllaga's voice sounded from the doorway.</p><p>The Preventer let his gaze drift from the monitor. He glanced down at where his hands gripped the edge of the desk. "Lieutenant."</p><p>"Your shift's over."</p><p>Heero sighed. "I thought I was supposed to find you."</p><p>"I found you instead."</p><p>The Preventer glanced up at the monitor. Relena was sitting in the back of her limousine, her head resting on Trowa's shoulder and her eyes closed. Heero ground his teeth as the surrounding monitors played images of the traffic, and upcoming bends in the road.</p><p>"Sergeant."</p><p>The Preventer let out a breath and turned his eyes from the monitor to focus on Lieutenant La Fllaga. "I volunteer for evening duty."</p><p>The Lieutenant's eyes narrowed. "You and I both know that's not such a good idea."</p><p>"You've been talking to the Colonel."</p><p>Mwu crossed his arms. Something caught the overhead lighting with the movement. Heero squinted to make out what it was. <i>'A wedding ring.'</i></p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>The Preventer scowled at his supervisor and turned back to the monitor. Something had changed on screen? Relena no longer sat near Trowa. In fact, she was too close to the backseat windows on the drivers' side. Someone needed to make her move. If he was there?.</p><p>"Sergeant."</p><p>"Tell me what it is I'm going to do from a hundred thousand miles away."</p><p>The Lieutenant chuckled. "You were a Gundam pilot. I hear they had some sort of magical powers during the war."</p><p>"I wish." Heero shot his superior a look over his left shoulder. "I'm sure a magic wand would have come in handy fighting those damn mobile dolls."</p><p>Mwu's eyes darkened. The small curve of his mouth fell away. "You need to go home."</p><p>Heero glanced back at the monitor. "What did you want to talk about?"</p><p>"It wasn't anything on the record." The Lieutenant's voice came closer; shoes tapped against the tile floor. "I see Alan and Milly are already gone."</p><p>"Yeah." Relena moved off screen. Heero turned his focus to examine the control set in front of him. They consisted of a joystick-like device that he'd been gripping most of the day, a keyboard with a digital audio mixing board, and a left-handed keypad to execute the commands: play, fast forward, rewind, and pause. "They didn't take lunch."</p><p>"Neither did you." The Lieutenant stood at the end of the desk and towered over Heero.</p><p>The Preventer glanced at the wall on the other side of the room.</p><p>Wheels whirred and clacked against the floor's surface as the Lieutenant must have pulled a chair from another table to sit at the end of the one with Heero's workstation. The Preventer went back to staring at the monitors. The small entourage of security personnel and Relena had arrived at the door to her hotel room.</p><p>"You know, I got to ask a bunch of questions about your history and get the answers that would otherwise be classified."</p><p>Trowa opened the door, and disappeared from one camera. He reappeared a second later on the feed from the main suite. "Preventer is the only one that tries to keep my 'record' a secret."</p><p>"Proud of yourself, are you?"</p><p>"No." Heero glanced over at his superior officer, then back at the monitor. Trowa appeared to be doing an adequate job of searching the different corners of Relena's room ? for intruders as well as any sign of forced entry.</p><p>"Yeah. Right."</p><p>"Hn."</p><p>"Ya know. I really would have thought you'd be a cocky bastard, seeing that you were the pilot of the famous Wing Zero. But, I guess we all have our ghosts."</p><p>Trowa gave the sign that all was clear. Relena moved into the suite and shut the door. Heero snarled. <i>'Why is Barton still there?'</i></p><p>"Do you ever wish it could have been different?" The Lieutenant kept talking like someone in the room still cared to listen to him.</p><p>"That you didn?t have to fight?"</p><p>Relena removed her suit jacket and set it on the back of a chair. Trowa stood nearby, but it was past time for the bodyguard to leave. "Hn."</p><p>"Or kill?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Relena moved across the screen. She sat down on the small sofa, and removed her heels. She threw a glance over her left shoulder and said something Heero couldn't make out. Trowa stepped forward, stopped, then finally situated himself near her on the couch.</p><p><i>'Barton, get the hell out.'</i></p><p>"Do you wish?" Mwu began again. The man was beginning to rival Duo in the mouth department.</p><p>"?that you'd never met her?"</p><p>"No!" Heero's head snapped up and he glared at his commanding officer.</p><p>"Hm." An odd smile formed on Mwu's face. The Lieutenant tucked his hands behind his head and continued. "And so the Colonel was right after all."</p><p>"About what."</p><p>"I'm afraid I can't tell you that. I can tell you, though, that it's time for you to go home. Get some rest and report back tomorrow."</p><p>Heero's stomach flipped over at the words 'it's time for you to go'. He felt the urge to cling to the table and dare the man to drag him away.</p><p>"Now that her schedule has kicked in, the Minister will be on the move pretty much every day for the duration of her trip."</p><p>"Yeah." Heero shut his eyes. It took every bit of willpower he had to get up and trudge to the door. He had no idea why his feet felt so heavy, or like he was having to drag them. His eyes drifted over to the main monitor - where Relena still sitting with Trowa. She leaned over and rested her head for the second time that night, on her bodyguard's shoulder. She looked so?</p><p>-</p><p><i>Blond hair spilled over the pillowcase, except the few strands that clung to her cheek. Her pink lips were slightly parted, and emitted little sounds as she breathed deeply in and out; her body was cast in amber-colored light, but her skin still looked pink and alive?</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>His hand reached and grasped the doorknob.</p><p>"You've shown an extreme amount of bravery and courage on the field of battle." Mwu's voice carried across the empty BioMet room. "The Gundam pilots always fought the losing battles, and weren?t afraid?. That's what people admired. Even the late Treize Krushrenada admired your heart and spirit."</p><p>Heero yanked the door open.</p><p>"But it takes a different kind of courage to commit to loving someone for the rest of your life."</p><p>He urged his feet to walk; Heero didn't want to hear anything else the Lieutenant had to say. But his shoes seemed to be glued to the floor.</p><p>"And you, Sergeant?" Mwu's voice changed to something lower, almost menacing ? like he was about to issue a challenge. Or a threat. "You're a coward when it comes to her."</p><p>The doorknob fell from his hand. Or maybe it was the other way around. "You're wrong."</p><p>"Am I?"</p><p>"The Gundam pilots?were afraid. But we fought those battles because someone had to." He raised his head and spoke to the empty hallway. "And I was trained to do it - to fight, to face the enemy, to challenge death, and keep fighting."</p><p>-</p><p><i>"What do you regret, Heero?"</i></p><p><i>"Killing that little girl."</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>"Any good soldier--"</p><p>"I was never trained for?this." Pain wrapped its arms around his ribcage and squeezed. Heero winced; his hands clenched. "Never? I'm not?"</p><p>"You're not what?"</p><p>The ache dissipated, and Heero expected to feel some amount of relief. But all he felt?</p><p>"For her."</p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade><p>Heero trudged down the corridor to his apartment, and somehow managed the energy to lift his feet up the stairs. Tired. He felt tired. Like the kind of tired that sunk into the skin after a battle and made him want to sleep for days. The only time he could remember?
<p><i>'No. Don't think. The way to beat this is not to think.' </i>He finally dragged himself up the last step to the landing. Heero stepped around the rail and stopped.</p><p>A man sat in front of Heero's door; correction, was leaning back on Heero's door. Smoking a cigarette and looking like this was some place he belonged.</p><p>The Preventer grabbed his gun, removed the safety and aimed it at the man's head. "You have two seconds to explain."</p><p>Dark eyes glanced up at Heero, the gun, then away. "You live here?"</p><p>"Explain. Now."</p><p>The man took another drag on his cigarette. "She dumped me." Smoke punctuated every word.</p><p>Heero blinked. <i>'She. Dumped. Me.' </i>He lowered his gun. "What?"</p><p>"Natalie. She dumped me." The guy shrugged. "I's just hangin' out. Didn't know who lived here or what." He stuck the cigarette back in his mouth; the end brightened.</p><p>The Preventer glanced at the door next to his. Flower pots lined up neatly along the sides of the porch, and a frilly sign hung on the wood panel with decorative swirly writing that spelled: Natalie.</p><p>"Hn." He put the gun back in its holster. <i>'He's just the neighbor.'</i></p><p>"You got a girl?"</p><p>Heero closed his eyes.</p><p>-</p><p><i>The moonlight played on the tips of the crashing waves, as they rolled into shore. Relena tugged on his hand as she dragged them both, barefoot, out into the shallow waters where the last breath of the crests washed over their toes. </i></p><p><i>She looked up at him. ?What was it like ? piloting your Gundam??</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>The Preventer took a deep breath ? filled with secondhand smoke; he choked, and gasped for air.</p><p>"Yeah, same here."</p><p>Heero opened his eyes and glared down at the man sitting in front of his apartment. His dark hair was shaved close to his head, and he had olive-looking skin. Light from the setting sun fell on one half of his face.</p><p>"What do you want?"</p><p>"Eh, nothin." The man's dark eyes stared straight ahead like Heero wasn't even there. "Jus' want her back, ya know?"</p><p>The Preventer didn't respond.</p><p>-</p><p><i>Heero caught up with her about the time she had unlocked the door and reached to open it. He slid his arm around her waist from his position behind her and leaned down to nuzzle her neck. Her skin was so soft and he could smell the faintest tinge of seawater in her hair. </i></p><p><i>He kissed his way up to murmur in her ear: ?Invite me in.? </i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>"I don't know what it is. I jus'?" The cigarette was out. He held his head in his hands. "It doesn't feel right, ya know what I mean?"</p><p>Heero sat down on the floor facing his neighbor's boyfriend - no doubt half of the noise problem from the other night.</p><p>"She wanted me to tell 'er all this stuff. Like I love 'er and I want to marry 'er or some shit. I don't know about all that."</p><p><i>'Sounds familiar.'</i> Heero couldn't keep the thought from popping into his head. He nodded and waited for the trespasser to continue.</p><p>Instead, he just sat there, his fingers clenching in the short strands of hair.</p><p>The Preventer sighed.</p><p>"I couldn't say it." The guy shook his head and dropped his hands to his sides. He glanced up and one side of his mouth turned down. "So?she tossed me out. An' 'ere I am." He shrugged like it was no big deal after all.</p><p>Heero looked down at the concrete floor.</p><p>"I'm Nick by the way."</p><p>The Preventer didn't bother to look up. "Heero."</p><p>"So, you got lady problems, too?"</p><p>Heero felt his lips tighten; a bitter taste of blood or battery acid filled his mouth. "No."</p><p>"No? You're sure?"</p><p>The Preventer scowled. <i>'I should have just shot him and pitched him over the rail.'</i></p><p>"You look like ya got woman problems. That and we could hear ya through the wall the other night. Eh? Eh?"</p><p><i>'Mental note, definitely kill him later.'</i> He leaned back against the iron railing and glared across the hallway at Nick. "She left."</p><p>The guy nodded and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. "Sounds like we're in the same boat, my friend. Same boat." Nick turned the small box upside down in the palm of his hand. "You smoke?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"No cancer sticks, eh?" Nick shoved the 'cancer stick' into his mouth, and stuffed the pack back in his pocket. Heero expected him to light it, but the guy didn't pull out a lighter or a match.</p><p>"Any clue how to fix it?"</p><p>-</p><p><i>"You should find someone you can love, Heero."</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>Heero snarled at the words she had written in the letter. It didn't help that when he remembered?He heard her voice. "No."</p><p>"Do you love her?"</p><p>The Preventer shut his eyes. "No."</p><p>"Yeah. Me neither."</p><p>Heero reopened his eyes and stood up. He looked down at his uninvited guest.</p><p>"I'm sorry, you need me to move, don't ya?" Nick got slowly to his feet and stepped away from Heero's door. The Preventer crossed the remaining distance to his apartment and pulled out the key.</p><p>"What are you going to do?"</p><p>He stopped. "I don't know."</p><p>"How do you know you're not in love with her?"</p><p>"I don't."</p><p>"Yeah. That's my problem, too. I should just tell 'er, don't ya think? I mean?if it's that important to 'er. And we both know, I ain't goin' anywhere." The man let out a short bark of laughter. Smoke filled the air again, and Heero figured Nick had finally lit his cigarette.</p><p>"Ya know what I mean? I mean sure, there's other girls, but none like her. Not like my Natalie."</p><p>Heero pushed open the door.</p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>The Preventer turned around.</p><p>"Thanks for listenin', ya know?" The guy took the cigarette from his mouth and gestured with both hands. "I mean?I know yous don't even know me, but, it helped." He shrugged both shoulders and cocked his head to one side. "So, uh, thanks."</p><p>Heero nodded. He pivoted and stepped into his apartment.</p><p>Before he could shut the door, Nick called out: "Hey!"</p><p>The Preventer felt his shoulders tense. He turned around.</p><p>"Are you--"</p><p>Heero sighed. "Yes, I'm a Preventer."</p><p>"Are ya gonna call her?" His dark eyebrows creased his forehead. "Or something?"</p><p>Heero glared at Nick. The man took a step back. "I mean, I hope things work out with your girl."</p><p>The Preventer turned back towards his apartment and moved inside.</p><p>"Wait, you're a Preventer?"</p><p>He slammed the door. Heero sighed and sank back against the panel. His muscles decided they no longer wanted to support him, and he fell to the floor. He buried his face in his hands.</p><p><i>'Relena?' </i></p><p>Bang! Bang! Thump! Heero's head snapped up.</p><p>"Natalie! Will ya let me in already?"</p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade><p>The limousine ride had been mostly silent. Until the car reached the five mile marker to the hotel - a convenience store named "Robb and Stickies". The first time she and Trowa had seen the sign, the jokes just flowed like a river between them. She couldn't help but smile, even now.
<p>Street light blurred into sharp streaks of color just outside the window. They were the only 'stars' on the colony.</p><p>"I screwed up."</p><p>Relena blinked and focused on his reflection in the glass. His mouth was a razor-thin line; his skin seemed paler than usual. She smiled. "Trowa, it's ok. Really. I-I didn't mind?"</p><p>His mirror image narrowed its eyes. "You cause more injuries with your dishonesty than you prevent."</p><p>She turned away from the window and glanced down at her hands. "I'm sorry."</p><p>"I know. You care about me." His voice trembled.</p><p>Relena felt her heart twist. She had to clasp her hands to keep them from shaking. "I don't want to hurt you?"</p><p>"I know that, too."</p><p>"I don't want you to worry about me, anymore, either." She glanced up as she said it and met his gaze.</p><p>Trowa's eyes widened. "I don't--"</p><p>"Yes. You do," she said and let out a small sigh. "You're treating me like I'm wounded or physically injured in some way."</p><p>"Relena, a broken heart isn't something to take lightly."</p><p>She looked back down at her hands resting in her lap. Trowa sounded patient?and all too knowing.</p><p>"It requires time?"</p><p>"I know." She watched her fingers twist together and had the vague thought they looked like how her heart felt: like a mess of incongruous emotions all tied up in knots. "And I intend to give it time."</p><p>Silence crept back into the car and sat between them.</p><p>"You're going to stay, then?" Trowa said in a quiet voice.</p><p>"I'm considering it." She turned her gaze back to the colony streets outside the window. The car slowed down. The lights no longer formed streaks, but single pin pricks in the dark sky. "I've never really wanted to be that sort of leader. I don't like people using me as a crutch. But I?"</p><p>"Don't want to face him."</p><p>She closed her eyes. "I think I can do some good, here."</p><p>"You're running away."</p><p>Relena turned away from the window and looked at her friend. He was leaning back into the seat cushions appearing perfectly at ease. She felt her pulse quicken and the air in the car seemed to freeze in an instant. "You said yourself I needed to give it time. What's the difference between taking time and running away, Trowa?"</p><p>He met her gaze. "Taking time is staying away from the person who hurt you. Telling him that you need space, that you need some time to heal. Running away is leaving everyone you care about behind. There's a difference."</p><p>"I can't face him." She turned to study the leather on the seat across from her and felt the temperature in the car change again. Her skin no longer felt cold. "He must think I'm such a fool? That I fell for it, that I fell for him. How could I--"</p><p>"Relena, no one thinks you're a fool."</p><p>"I do. I should have known what he was up to, it was so obvious how quickly he changed and what he was after?." Her stomach tied itself into a knot with her heart. "I should have known he only wanted to protect me, that someone like him would never--"</p><p>"Love someone like you?"</p><p>She bowed her head.</p><p>"Relena, he's the fool." She heard his voice tremble again. Trowa was angry. The thought only made her feel more miserable.</p><p>"Maybe, but?Trowa, how long does it take?" She swallowed and blinked back unwelcome tears. "How long before I can forget?before it stops hurting?" The knot inside her chest grabbed hold of her throat and tried to add it to the mess.</p><p>"Because minutes pass, or even hours, and I really am fine. And then?the next thing I know." She paused to gulp down air. "Then something happens to remind me, or my mind drifts...and I see his face."</p><p>The knot tightened and Relena swore it had hold of every part of her body. Trowa's left hand cupped her chin and turned her head to look up at him.</p><p>"How long until that stops? How long?"</p><p>The corners of his mouth turned up, and the look in his eyes? The tightening knot inside her relented a bit. His right thumb caressed her cheek.</p><p>Relena moved her head to look down ? breaking her friend's gentle hold on her chin.</p><p>"How long until it stops hurting?"</p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade><p>The monitor beeped, alerting Relena to the incoming call. She groaned and raised her head off the pillow just enough to glance across the room at the call her security team had let through: Peacecraft Manor.
<p>She leaned her head back into the pillow and glared at the ceiling. "Brother."</p><p>With a sigh, she threw aside the covers and stumbled out of bed. It was only ten thirty, but sleep had been about to welcome her into his embrace.</p><p>And it was a lovely embrace?.</p><p>She flicked the switch and her brother's image came on screen. His long, blond hair appeared a shade darker, and fell in large, wavy strands that indicated it was wet. He wore his red, terry cloth robe that Noin had bought him two Christmases ago.</p><p>"Hello," she said and rubbed her eyes.</p><p>He closed his. "Relena?"</p><p>She dropped her hands to her lap and studied her brother's face. His skin seemed pale, and his mouth was set in a strange half-smile, half-grimace; his light-colored eyebrows drew together into two points in the middle of his forehead. He opened his eyes again and stared at her through the monitor.</p><p>"Brother."</p><p>"Were you asleep?"</p><p>She nodded and raised her hand to stifle a yawn. "Almost."</p><p>His frown deepened. "I'm sorry for disturbing you."</p><p>"No, really, it's all right." She shook her head and found herself leaning closer to the screen. "I-I'm glad you called."</p><p>"How?how are you doing, Relena?"</p><p>"The Marcellas's keep my schedule pretty full, so I've been busy?" She glanced down at the keyboard resting on the small desk. "But I'm sure that's not why you called."</p><p>"No. It?" He stopped. Relena looked up at her brother's image.</p><p>"It's not." He finished in a quiet tone.</p><p>She nodded and attempted to smile. "I think I can guess. So."</p><p>"So." Her brother stared at the screen.</p><p>She found she couldn't stand to stare back.</p><p>"Relena, I? I don't know where to start or what to say except? It's killing me. To think you're angry with me."</p><p>"I was angry at you. That you would help him to deceive me, to make a fool out of me?in so many ways. I was angry with you. But, you're my brother. And that's what happens, sometimes - I mean, we can't get along all the time." She risked a look up at the monitor. Her brother gazed back; his blue eyes seemed warmer than they were when he first called.</p><p>"No. I suppose that is impossible."</p><p>"So, I guess, what I'm saying is?"</p><p>"I'm sorry. I can't give you a reasonable excuse for my behavior, so all I can do is say?I'm sorry."</p><p>She smiled. "Thank you."</p><p>Milliardo didn't respond. He frowned again and lowered his gaze. Her heart felt like someone tied a weight to one end; it sank towards her stomach. <i>'He's still upset.' </i>Relena sighed with the thought<i>. 'Oh, Milliardo?'</i></p><p>"Brother?I know that? Even when I was angry at you?I want you to know. I never stopped loving you."</p><p>He looked up. Relena gave him what she hoped was a more cheerful smile.</p><p>"You are my brother."</p><p>The right corner of his mouth turned down. "I do worry."</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>"That you?Could stop?loving me. From the moment our parents brought you home and placed you in my arms, I knew. I knew that you were my sister to protect."</p><p>"But, I?"</p><p>"You were gone, too soon. I wasn't there to watch you grow up; all I saw were glimpses from a distance. And it wasn't enough, but?" His lips curved up at both ends. "You didn't come with a manual."</p><p>"Yes." Relena made a face, but couldn't help but laugh. "I hear that is a common problem these days. Babies being born without the manual."</p><p>He chuckled. It was a deep laugh that sounded strong and comforting. "I know I haven't always done the right thing by you. I know I've erred?"</p><p>"We both have." She leaned forward and folded both hands on top of the desk. Relena wished she could be there to comfort him, to throw her arms around his neck and have him tell her everything would be all right.</p><p>"I realize, now. I've been trying to be your father, and I?"</p><p>"But, you're not my father. I had a father, I never really had a brother."</p><p>He winced.</p><p>Relena paused and tried to soften her tone. "Can't you be my brother?"</p><p>"I'll try," he said and gave her a lopsided grin. Relena nodded. She gave him a small smile, held his gaze for a moment, then looked down at her hands on top of the desk. She sat up and moved them to her lap.</p><p>"Relena. About He?"</p><p>"I know?why you did it." She stared down at the hands in her lap. Her fingers twisted together.</p><p>"Relena?"</p><p>"It's because I asked you to, isn't it?"</p><p>"It's my fault, Relena."</p><p>She shook her head and looked up at him again. "I asked you?to make him love me. But?we can't do things like that. No one can make another person love them - no matter how much they?I may want to."</p><p>"No. We can't." He leaned forward, towards the camera on his end of the connection. One hand rose up and touched the monitor screen, then fell back to the desk. "But you're my sister, and no matter what, Relena."</p><p>She swallowed against a lump in the back of her throat. Milliardo flashed her a rare, genuine smile.</p><p>"I'll always love you."</p><hr size=1 width=100% noshade><p>Heero dragged the monitor from his bedroom closet and hoisted it up in the air. He leaned the screen side against his chest and took a couple of steps forward. The thing wasn't heavy, just?difficult to grasp. That and his concentration was a little?preoccupied.
<p>Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump. "Ohhhhh, BABY!"</p><p>Apparently, Nick had apologized to Natalie with striking results. Or, at least, the headboard was striking the wall again and again and again. The Preventer swore he could see the thin divider vibrate.</p><p>Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump.</p><p>Heero scowled and then had to turn in order to make progress again towards the door. His eyes swept over the bed; the same bed?</p><p>-</p><p><i>"I'm happy, Heero. Just to be with you like this. I feel?closer to you somehow. Do you feel that way?"</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>The Preventer stopped; he shut his eyes, and felt his heart crash against his ribcage. He quickly spun and dropped the monitor on his dresser before the feeling doubled him over. Heero knelt on the ground, his right hand clutched at the pain in his chest.</p><p>-</p><p><i>He glanced down at where Relena curled against his side. She stared back at him, her eyes asking for an answer. But? </i></p><p><i>He swallowed, and finally said the truth: "I don't know."</i></p><p><i>"Heero?" Her eyes flickered, and tears slipped from the corners of her eyes</i></p><p><i>"I'm being honest, Relena. I don't know how I feel."</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>Something gripped the lower three ribs on his left side and squeezed. Heero's other hand found the floor and kept him balanced. But the walls seemed to close in around him.</p><p>-</p><p><i>"I just feel like?I don't want you to leave."</i></p><p><i>-</i></p><p>Someone shouted; the sound echoed in the room and in his ears, but it wasn't his neighbors. He couldn't even tell what it was that was yelled?.</p><p>Heero heaved for air, and struggled to his feet. He turned away from the bed, the one he hadn't slept in since that night?</p><p><i>'Don't think.'</i></p><p>The Preventer threw himself against the dresser and grabbed the monitor again. He ripped it from its resting place and staggered out the door.</p><p><i>'What's wrong with me?' </i></p><p>Once he was out of the room, he was better. The symptoms seemed to dissipate. He had no similar attacks outside of the apartment - except on a couple of occasions when the traffic was bad on his way to work, and his mind wandered to Relena.</p><p>Inside the apartment, his body was more prone to these 'attacks'. He had noticed a pattern that seemed to indicate it was something in his bedroom causing the problem. Whenever he entered the room?</p><p>That bed, in particular, seemed to be provoking the same sort of reaction time and time again. He had tried not looking at it, he had tried avoiding it. But, the only bathroom was attached to that room, so?</p><p>He deposited the monitor on the chair he had set up in the living room. Heero connected the cable to his laptop, then hit the button combination to split the signal between his LCD screen and the flat screen. It was an old monitor without the wireless capabilities. Perhaps his next check from Preventer would have to remedy that.</p><p><i>'Can't volunteer?'</i> Heero smirked as he dialed into the Preventer mainframes remotely, and set to work locating the digital video streams sent to the BioMet room. He ran a search for streaming digital; two thousand records came up.</p><p><i>'What? Why so many?'</i> As soon as he asked the question, he knew the answer. The Preventer groaned.</p><p>"This is all of the video streams. Not all of them are Relena."</p><p>He sighed and submitted another query. Heero glanced up from the screen and looked back at his kitchen. The Preventer turned to face the screen.</p><p>"Searching?. "</p><p>"Searching?"</p><p>He climbed to his feet and moved towards the kitchen. "I'll need coffee."</p><p>Ca-PLINK!</p><p>Heero rushed back to his laptop.</p><p>"Search complete. 1843 records found." The palm of his left hand slapped against his forehead and slid down his face.</p><p>"Fuck!"</p>

[Caliborn]

Rose, you are amazing. I can't believe you got this out on time (and since I'm on Californian time, you did -indeed- get it out on time!) and it's done so well!

Gosh, where to begin? I thought for sure Trowa was going to try and sleep with Relena (at the very least, in a platonic sense of the word) with how close he was to her through all this. At least our boy is rightfully jealous. Maybe it'll push him into -some- sort of action?

...I like Nick. He's that annoying wise guy-type character, and it's hillarious how he's unknowingly tormenting The Preventer. If only Relena was as easily swayed so that she and Heero could get married and start lovin', the way it's supposed to be.

But it's good that Heero's gotta work through his issues first... If only he would start accepting them. But he continually refuses to admit the real problem... and that's the first step on the twelve-step program. *Pictures Heero going to RAA (Relena Addicts Annonymous) and stepping up to the platform: "Hi, my name is Heero Yuy and I have FINALLY admitted that I have a problem..."*

But, anyway, this was a great chapter, and I am still stunned that you managed to finish it on time. *hugs* You are amazing. Thank you so much and great job!

[star fighter]

I'm very happy that Heero is suffering. He deserves to be in pain after what he's put Relena through. On the other hand, I'm sad because it's taking too long for them to meet again. Great chapter, Rose


PS: December 11? That seems to be such a short period of time. I'm kind of doubtful

[perfectpeach]

the last few lines..hilarious! the whole chapter...gripping. the fic in all...priceless. mastercard... :razz:

[The Angry Angel]

Poor Heero Yuy is overloading himself!!!

I wonder.....where it is now, he's doubling over in pain and [screaming], will the next installment see a Heero Yuy in tears? Sobbing? Or are you not willing to take Heero's emotions to that level of breakage?

WOW!!! It was great!!

Uh-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........................is Heero going to see or hear something he's not supposed between Relena and Trowa--or rather, is Trowa going to be seen doing or saying something he's not supposed to be by Heero?

Send me the measurements for Barton's coffin if that's the case

snazzy little installment--the further they progress, the better they become! Well done, babe

We'll see Rose December 11 (during finals )

[Stellar-Soldier]

Lets see... there have been few times Heero has been under this kind of extraordinary stress, and all those times, he was only that stressed for a few hours. Following the psychological standpoint of our favorite 'Perfect Soldier', he will probably put up all of his psychological defenses again and revert to what he once was, though not to a point where he would revert back to pre- Endless Waltz.
Luckily for everyone there, Heero is a much more stubborn person than people seem to realize, otherwise you'd have a rampaging lunatic who could rebuild Wing Zero from a wrecked Taraus doll, infiltrate almost any high-security fortress and kill everyone while they're asleep, and laugh in a maniac-like, but still cool sounding laugh ive ever heard a crazy person laugh, ever.

[amulak]

Poor Heero. I wish that there was some way that Heero could communicate with Relena and let her know the agony that he's going through. I feel sorry for both of them. I think Heero finally just needs to be able to figure out his feelings for Relena, and then they need to be able to talk about it. Blast Relena for running away! (Although I can't say I blame her) I just wish more people would empathize with Heero, instead of shunning him.

[melrose_stormhaven]

And fuck is something Heero isn't getting for a long, lomg time now...in this fic, at least...

Okay. Wonderful chapter.

Heero, you really, really need counselling.

[AnShino]

*laughs* I have to say, this:

Heero rushed back to his laptop.

"Search complete. 1843 records found." The palm of his left hand slapped against his forehead and slid down his face.

"Fuck!"

Was my favorite part of the fic. I loved itto bits and pieces Rose! *bounces* And so Heero suffers. Moo haha!

[Red Ninja]

Rose you kill me honestly....I should just read your completed work honestly. I'm so impatient.

Great great fic writing as usual. You've inspired me to finish the next chapter of my RK fic.