Her Wicked Ways [3xR - Rated PG-13] 4/?
Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 12:13 am
Her Wicked Ways
By Andrea Sinisterra
Romance
Rated PG-13
Standard Disclaimers Apply
Author?s Note: I come bearing good and bad news. Good news: I?ve updated. Yay, me! ? Bad news: This is the last chapter I have written to completion. I?m currently working on chapter five, but just keep in mind that I won?t be updating every one/two weeks. Sorry!
Special Thanks: To GG for proofreading!!
Disclaimer: El Pomodoro is a real restaurant here where I live; I don't think there's one in NY. If it does exists, then, coincidence, coincidence. If there IS a Pomodoro in NY, please omit any erroneous location, description, etc.
Warinings: Mild sexual innuendos and situations. And I'd like to add cursing just for good measure. I don't remember if there was any potty-mouthing in this chapter...
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<b>Part 4</b>
Krista McKenzie strode into my office shrouded in a cloud of Chic and with an attitude that didn?t bode well with me. She threw her long wool coat on my leather sofa along with her purse, flinging her hair over her shoulder with an air of arrogance that had me two seconds away from calling security and have her kicked out of the building. I would give my entire fortune to see her face when Rob left the imprint of his G. I. Joe combat boot on her ass.
It would have been easier if she had at least knocked on my door; I?m not even asking for a simple good morning? But some courtesy would?ve helped. I know she must be upset since she believes I?m marrying her boyfriend?God, how amusing and strange that sounds?but there are ways to talk things over. This is my office, damn it.
I could already feel the bitchiness taking over my mind. I wanted to laugh at my silly thoughts. She can shove her Trowa up where the sun doesn?t shine or wherever the hell she wants, like I cared.
Her tone made me wince. Did I really compliment this Krista McKenzie? Was I mad? I must have been drunk.
?Relena Peacecraft.? My name was spat out as if it was a disgusting piece of rotten cheese; full of contempt. ?I think you have some explaining to do. I want answers.? With that, she slammed the Times down on my desk, folded with ?the? article and picture to the front.
I was suddenly grateful for the broad, solid expanse of my mahogany desk between us; I had the abrupt feeling this crazy woman could struck me anytime. She seemed like a very volatile person, and I know she had all the right to be, but why lose your cool and resort to violence? I was so not in the mood for a catfight, especially if it was uncalled for. To give Trowa the opportunity to gloat over the fact that two women were fighting over him? Pigs will fly before that happens. I cleared my throat, more to get my focus on her than to get <i>her</i> attention on me. ?Ms. McKenzie, please, take a seat.?
She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly, but after a moment, she seemed to huff and sunk into the soft leather of one of the two chairs before my desk. She still had her arms crossed tightly over her chest, and the slight protuberance of her lips revealed the childish pouting and subsequent sulking. I wanted to laugh.
She was still regal and beautiful though, despite her tantrum. She sat straight in the chair, chin and nose raised high; her manicured nails tapping restlessly against her arms; her legs were crossed elegantly at her knees. She was tall, perhaps taller than me, with long dark brown hair that curled at the ends; bright, hazel eyes and light freckles over pale, flawless skin. She was dressed impeccably in a soft pink business suit, the skirt reaching just above her knees. She just needed to grow up a little?mentally. She probably was a good lay; I didn?t think Trowa would enjoy spending so much time with her otherwise. And he was obviously fooling around on the side. I, now, was positive that Krista was not the woman my mother had seen Trowa with at that restaurant. Man-whore.
Hmm, that was something we had to discuss. If he was thinking of ?cheating? on me, something I really didn?t care about, he had to make certain it will remain quiet and kept out of the public eye; otherwise I would be abolished by the press and then subsequently turned into a martyr. He, most certainly, would be spit on by every single person he passes by from his apartment on his way to work. Not to mention Alice, his secretary?who adores me?would probably poison his coffee.
I could already see the scandalous headlines at that.
Krista cleared her throat loudly, glaring at me through her thick dark lashes. ?Well? I would like to know how it is that I wake up this morning to discover that <i>my</i> boyfriend, Trowa Barton, is engaged to another woman?? God, she made Trowa sound like he was some sort of deity?or the son of some important President. Girl, get over yourself.
?Ms. McKenzie.? I sighed dramatically, bleeding this for all it was worth. ?It happened so suddenly. It was completely unexpected, for all of us, I assure you.?
She was shaking her head vigorously. ?I will not accept that. You were with Trowa when he was with <i>me</i>. You took him from me! I?ve been cheated in the worst possible way.?
So, okay, I could sympathize with her. I could only imagine the embarrassment she must have gone through when she came across the announcement this morning. I could probably die if I opened the paper one day and found that my boyfriend was engaged to another woman. She had been a victim in this whole affair. But, if only Trowa had mentioned something, anything about Krista, something could?ve been done about it. But how do I tell a woman her boyfriend hadn?t even thought of her when he accepted to marry someone else? How do you tell a woman that she?s just another warm bed in an endless line of beautiful females?
Trowa, you pig-minded, heartless, conceited, shit-headed asshole!
I sighed. ?Listen, Ms. McKenzie. You are right. Unfortunately, there?s nothing I can tell you that will make you feel better. And believe me, yelling or crying your heart out to me won?t help you either. I suggest you call Trowa, or better yet, go see him right now, and let him have a piece of your mind. You can hit him, I don?t care. Slap him a few times, it?ll make you feel better. Trust me.?
She looked at me, and to give her credit, her eyes hardened instead of the torrent of tears I had been expecting. She nodded once, a small smile on her perfect, pink lips. She stood up and gathered her coat and purse, turning around a moment to regard me silently. ?You know, you?re not like I pictured you would be.?
I laughed. ?Yeah, I get that all the time.?
She nodded again, and headed to the door. She straightened her shoulders when she opened the wooded panel, and turned around one last time. ?Thanks.?
I shook my head, smiling at her. ?Not at all. Thank <i>you</i> for understanding. Punch him hard for me, would you??
She laughed, shaking her head before she closed the door behind her.
It wasn?t even an hour later when Trowa barged into my office followed by a very ecstatic-looking Meredith. Trowa walked to stand in the space between the two leather chairs, just in front of me, arms crossed tightly over his chest. His brown bangs partially covered his eyes, but the emerald was still strikingly brilliant through the curtain of hair.
?Thank you, Meredith.? I emphasized every word to let the not-so-subtle meaning down in my secretary?s head. She nodded her head looking a little disappointed, but dutifully closed the door behind her.
Trowa still stood passively in front of me, and I noticed how he looked a little? disheveled. His hair was messier than usual, his tie was almost undone, and his shirt looked like it was? wet? Sweat? My brows rose in surprise when I put the pieces together. ?So, I see you and Krista made up. How? cozy.?
?Made up, when exactly? Before she slapped me, or maybe when she dragged me across the room? Or no, wait, perhaps while she dumped her glass of water on me? That could?ve been fun. I think her shirt was see-through. Maybe next time I?ll be able to squeeze some TLC in between all the violence.? He plopped down on one of the chairs, and I mentally cringed at the thought of the expensive Italian leather getting soaked and soiled.
I couldn?t help myself as I laughed at his defeated tone. He just looked too adorable. ?Oh, you poor thing.? I leaned a little over my desk, shaking my head as I rested my chin on my upturned palm. ?Trowa, how could you have overlooked the fact that you had a girlfriend??
He shrugged, letting his long body melt into the chair. He tugged at his tie halfheartedly, trying to knot it back to some semblance of normalcy. ?It?s not like what we had, had been anything serious. She was even dating someone on the side. A coworker or something. I don?t really give a shit. And cut me some slack, would you? It?s not like I had time to consider my options. One moment you suggest we date to get our mother?s off our backs, and the next, we?re engaged and kissing in front of a multitude!?
I gasped. I stalked around the table stopping to stand in front of him. ?Oh, well, I wasn?t the one who put it upon herself to give the audience consisting of New York?s wealthiest tattle tellers ?a show they would never forget?!?
There was a very sexy tug to one corner of his lips as he regarded me through lowered lids. He lazily drew back his outstretched legs, only to tower over me as he pushed some hair out of my face. ?And I was right.? He reached for my left hand, his fingers twirling the engagement ring teasingly. ?I don?t think Krista was that upset. It was just her female pride that got a little wounded.?
I snorted, shaking my head at his words. ?Trowa, how can you be so cynic??
?We are but two of a kind, Relena.? He moved forward a step, and as I stepped back, I found the edge of the desk against the back of my thighs. His musky cologne and aftershave formed a capsule of heady desire around me and it took all my willpower not to close my eyes and succumb to its call.
His breath fanned against my cheek, warm and slow. ?You know,? He whispered, his lips moving against my skin, touching but not quite kissing. ?I should be thankful? You have no idea how long?? He kissed the edge of my jaw; his hands holding my waist firmly. He moved up to kiss the skin under my ear. ??I?ve wanted you.?
He was intoxicating. His scent, his touch, his words, everything caused an unexpected reaction within me and for a moment I felt as if the very marrow had been drained from my bones. ?Trowa,? I pushed him back a little, yet his hands still remained steadfast on my hips. His biceps flexed where my hands gripped them, and I could see the strained look on his face. His eyes were dark; the emerald was so dark it was almost black, even if their depths still managed to sparkle. ?There?s something I wanted to talk to you about.?
I moved around him, his hands falling from my sides as I took a seat. He followed suit and sat in the chair beside me.
?Look, we still have to settle a few things. How long will this last? I don?t intend to stay engaged to you for too long, and neither am I thinking of getting married. If we keep it too short, they?ll say we didn?t try hard enough. If we drag this for too long, either they start pressuring us to get married, or they won?t believe us if and when we break it up. I think we should stay engaged for a couple of months? let?s say four to six months, and then we can just tell them it didn?t work and that we?ve decided to go our separate ways.?
He jerked his head once in a brisk nod. ?I agree.?
I waited for him to say something more, but he just sat there, defying me with his eyes. ?And? You agree, so? You don?t have anything else to add??
He let out a deep breath? there was a tinge of something?disappointment, maybe??in his eyes and voice. ?No, I just find this whole issue a little hard to absorb and more than a little ridiculous. It was fine agreeing to fool our mothers, but fooling everyone else??
I laughed lightly at the sarcastic amusement in his voice. ?Well, it could?ve been worked out a little easier if you hadn?t kissed me like some sex-driven macho. Then that picture wouldn?t have gotten to the press and this would all have been way easier to deal with.?
?Just tell me how did you weave this and turned it against me? How is this my fault?? The he grinned at me, his head tipped low as he regarded me through dark, lowered lashes. ?But admit it, you liked it. In fact, I was a faithful witness to your enjoyment of said sex-driven activities.?
I laughed at him, letting my head fall back on the chair. ?I will not compromise myself to that, Trowa.?
His words were husky as he lowered his voice; the sound floating sexily to where I sat. ?You know very well that if I were to kiss you right now, you?d be with me the entire way. You want me, Relena, there?s no point denying it.?
Arrogant prick. ?You?re so full of bullshit I?m amazed you?re still able to balance your head on your shoulders.? I made my smile sweeter just to taunt him as I walked around my desk to sit behind it. I did want him, I have no qualms accepting it, but I?ll be damned if I told him that. ?You?re still allowed to have your women, I don?t plan on us changing our routine for this, but we have to keep our affairs out of the public eye to try to prevent a scandal; our mothers would probably die.?
His eyes hardened somewhere along my short speech, and there was a visible tightening of his jaw as his lips thinned, forming faint lines around his mouth. ?Good to know,? he said gravely.
I frowned at his tone, not really knowing why he was suddenly so upset, but decided it really wasn?t my problem. And neither did I care. He should be overflowing with happiness that he?s allowed to have his women? not that he needs my permission.
?I?m sure Quatre Winner will also be pleased with this. He must?ve thrown a fit when he found out about our engagement.?
I kept my face straight out of sheer willpower. He really was an asshole. My hands itched with the urge to wring his neck and mangle him into oblivion. I took a mental breath. ?Hmm. Well, it?s not any of your business. And speaking of which, I know you only come here to fuck around, but some of us actually come here to work. So, since I still have a bunch of things to go over, I suggest you go find something usefu?just something to do.?
He stood up; his expression was completely closed up. He walked around the desk and I only had a second to register his movements before he seized my mouth, kissing me so harshly I almost whimpered by the force of his kiss. I tried pressing my lips closed but soon his lips softened on mine and I couldn?t help but surrender to it as he kissed me so thoroughly I feared I would faint. His tongue stroked mine sensually; the slide smooth and passionate. He nudged me up to stand on my feet, and it was all I could do not to sigh when I felt his solid frame against me; his chest pressed against my breasts and one of his legs wedged between mine. I was once again surrounded by his scent, and I seemed to have lost all my strength for I didn?t complain when he took a step forward and pressed the back of my legs to the desk. He slid his hands behind my thighs and hefted me up in one swift motion onto the cold mahogany surface.
His mouth left mine, and I was almost relieved as I sucked in a deep breath, but lost it again when he ducked his head to trail his tongue down my neck to my clavicle. I threaded my fingers through his silky hair, throwing my head back as I allowed the bliss to take over my body. The exquisite sensations that coursed through my blood were intoxicating, just like the feeling of his hands and mouth on my skin. One of his hands moved up to cup and knead one of my breasts through the silk of my blouse, his thumb drawing lazy circles over the nipple.
The sound of my own voice as I moaned wantonly broke me out my trance, and I jerked in surprise when the intercom buzzed. I hopped off the desk and turned around, running a hand through my tussled hair trying to smooth it out; I pressed the flashing button, opening the link as I took a deep breath. ?Yes, Meredith??
?Ms. Relena, Ms. Schbeicker is here and is asking to see you. She doesn?t have an appointment either??
I smiled. Meredith hated when the day didn?t follow her agenda. She was as meticulous and as perfectionist as they came, and she had no qualms letting the world know she didn?t appreciate their rudeness. ?Rudeness? being, of course, not calling in to arrange an appointment. ?That?s okay, Meredith. Mr. Barton was just leaving, anyway. Give me five minutes, then send Hilde in?and could you please bring us some coffee? You?d be my hero forever.?
Meredith?s laugh was soft and girly, and I knew the petite woman had to be blushing. ?Will do.?
I sighed when the line was terminated; perfect, just what I needed?to be drilled for something this stupid at ten in the morning by a self-proclaimed ?neglected? and furious best friend. I won?t even need to sit for long before said best friend screeches her head off at my actions. And she probably has every right; I would certainly die if one day I open the paper to find her wedding announcement.
I was suddenly aware of Trowa standing behind me, pressed so close to me I could clearly feel every single contour of his hard body. Every. Single. Contour. The edge of his teeth on my earlobe was tempting enough for me to surrender completely, but I had already done too badly in this game, I wasn?t about to make things worse.
If he wants me in his bed, he?ll have to work hard for it.
I stepped out of his embrace, incrementing the distance between us, allowing my body to cool down and my breath to go back to normal before Hilde walked in and my disheveled, breathless state would give what had just happened away. Trowa?s eyes were still dark with unadulterated lust; his chest was slightly heaving and his lips were almost red and a little swollen from his fierce kisses. I imagine mine were the same, if not worse, and I hoped Hilde would not notice them.
?I think you should leave. I don?t?? His face was passive; so calm and collected I felt the urge to hit him for looking so damn good. ?Trowa, you have to understand I?m not interested in having a serious relationship? or any sort of relationship. I don?t want to sleep with you, so I?ll ask you to please stop this.?
?Have you always been such a bitch or did you take classes?? I guess the shock must have shown on my face because he shook his head. ?I didn?t mean??
Where did <i>that</i> come from?! What the hell was his problem? ?Sorry to burst your bubble, Sparky, but I?ve always been a bitch. And I don?t appreciate you manhandling me like a piece of meat. This? arrangement between us is a farce and I don?t plan on marrying you; I?m not even planning on staying engaged for too long. We will not live together and I will not change my life because of this. Now, if you?d please leave, I have things to do.? By the end of my speech, I reached to open the door, leaving all subtleties and politeness aside; I had dug my nails into my palms trying to keep myself from cussing him out of my office. Something like ?I have things to do, so get the fuck out? kept running endlessly back and forth on my tongue.
He stood for a second or two without uttering a word, still as a stone, before he jerked into motion and left my office in a couple of long smooth strides, his gaze completely avoiding mine. I didn?t even have time to close the door and give in to the feral desire of sagging against the wooden panel when Hilde walked in, her bright red stilettos drumming a sexy staccato against the dark marble floor. She carried a folded newspaper under her arm and as soon as she reached my desk, she slammed it right down next to Krista?s?both with ?the article? folded out.
?Okay,? she plopped down on the couch, dropping her purse to the floor. ?Now, I?ve given this some thought since I bought the paper 15 minutes ago, and I?ve decided I?m just going to let you talk.?
I bit down a smile as I closed the door behind me. Hilde Schbeicker; I met her four years ago at NYU because she was hungry, and every time I tell someone this story, I have to assure them that, no, I?m not kidding. We had been sitting in class waiting for our International Investments Analysis professor to come, and the 10 minutes I endured in that room had been torture; she couldn?t stop complaining every other minute about how hungry she was, how she hadn?t eaten anything all day, how she didn?t have any money to <i>?buy a freaking crumb!?</i>. So, I had taken pity on her?well, actually it was more to shut her up?and offered her a gum.
Since then, we?ve become inseparable. She?s the kind of classic, dark-haired beauty who walks into a room and everyone freezes around her, agape and in awe of being in the same breathing corner with her. Petite, but with enough attitude to make up for her lack of height, Hilde is a menace that I?m proud to be friends with.
?Who the hell am I kidding?? She snapped, pointing angrily at the mangled newspaper resting on my desk. ?Explain that right now! It?s true, isn?t it? That was Trowa I saw coming out of your office? and looking quite rumpled, if you ask me.?
I moved to sit at the other end of the sofa, tucking a leg beneath me as I turned to look at her. ?I?m not asking you. Krista broke up with him a few minutes ago and apparently she left with a bang? Unluckily for him, it wasn?t the kind of ?bang? he was expecting.?
Hilde winced even if a smile still etched her lips. ?Ouch,? but she didn?t sound the least bit sympathetic. ?I didn?t know they were dating officially; I mean, he went with Alexandra Tsavaras to Tom Ford?s Christmas party at the Plaza? So, wait? Are you saying Krista found out??
I was already nodding, confirming her half enquiry when someone knocked once on the door and then Meredith squeezed her head in. ?Excuse me, here is your coffee. I apologize for the delay.? She pushed the door open with her knee, balancing our coffees in a small black tray which she place on the small table in front of us.
I smiled at her, as Hilde and I leaned over to take our mugs. ?That?s alright. Thank you, Meredith.?
She nodded her head, a small smile on her lips as she turned around and left, shutting the door softly behind her.
??yeah, she pretty much barged into my office this morning and demanded answers. I just can?t believe Trowa never mentioned her!?
Hilde frowned, looking at me with a perplexed sparkle in her eyes. ?So, wait. How long have you two been dating and why wasn?t I notified about this??
I laughed. ?Well? It?s a really long, sort of complicated story. Let?s just say that our mothers cornered us into dating and tricked us into getting engaged.?
?Do you have any idea how weird this sounds??
She was laughing, and all I could do was narrow my eyes in mock-indignation. ?Oh, believe me, I know. It turned up a few more notches when Trowa came knocking on my door early this morning with a newspaper in hand announcing to the whole world that we were engaged?pictures and all. Apparently Kara, Trowa?s mother, has been trying to set him up with ?respectable? women for some time now.?
Hilde sipped her coffee thoughtfully. ?Hmm, sounds awfully familiar. My parents have been trying to set me up with this lanky guy? I think he?s a hot-shot publicist or editor or something. Not going to happen.?
I laughed. ?What?s up with parents these days? I mean, one, we?re grown ups; I think we?re old enough to make our own decisions; and two, this isn?t the Middle Ages!... Hilde! What am I going to do? I just told him we?re going to stay like this for approximately four to six months?how am I going to survive this? He?s driving me crazy already, and it?s only been the first day!?
Hilde chuckled; I can?t believe she?s laughing about something so serious. ?Relena, seriously, come on! What?s wrong with staying engaged to a man like Trowa Barton? Do you have any idea how many women in New York would kill to be you right now? You have to admit he?s quite a catch.?
I mimicked her tone; that haughty, overly confident yet mocking tilt she used when she wanted things to be done her way. ?I have to admit nothing. You know me, Hilde; I?m going to go crazy before three months.?
?Relena! What do you have against the man? It?s not like he?s got cooties or anything!?
I don?t know what?s wrong. I really don?t. Why was I so afraid of diving into this commitment? It?s not like it?s real; I only have to fake I?m engaged to Trowa Barton for a few months, attend social gatherings with him, and then we break up and go back to our lives like nothing ever happened. Really, what could be so bad?
I sighed. We?ve been in this game for five years now. This whole attraction that only seemed to grow deeper every time I turned him down; he never faked nonchalance, never pretended he wasn?t attracted to me, I just always found a way to move around him and keep on with my life. But that?s all it is; I?m just someone he?s attracted to, someone who?s turned him down more times than it?s considered healthy?healthy for his prime-time male ego. And that?s the thing; I?m just a trophy to him. And I won?t deny that I feel superior for not giving in to his advances because if one of the things that I?m aware of is that people talk. Just like I know that by tonight, half of Manhattan will know that Krista was dumped in the vilest way.
I would have been happy to go along with this charade had it been any other man; with any other man, I would feel like a goddess, completely in my element. Always in control. I manage to detach any emotional link to my surroundings, keeping my cool as I do and say what I please knowing they won?t ever have the guts to refuse me anything? But with Trowa? It just is different. He makes me feel frustrated and excited at the same time; he?s passionate and so deep unlike the shallow dimwits I?m used to dating.
I don?t think I?ve ever felt this contradictory and confused. I don?t know what to feel; how to feel. I know that if I let Trowa get to me, he?ll shred me to pieces and then step over the remains of my dignity, and by the way I feel, or better yet, given the way he makes me feel when he talks to me or touches me, I know I?ll allow him anything. I?m weak and oh-so-pathetic when I?m with him. The saddest thing is that I know and accept all this.
It?s like that guy you like when you?re in high school, but you?re just content with the attraction; you don?t have any intentions of pursuing anything because you?re positive it would never work. It?s more or less like trying to teach an old bird to talk; it?s hard and nearly impossible, and after a while, you just get tired and give it up. That?s how Trowa is; he will never change his ways; he will always be a womanizer. I had given up on him, had decided to just give up to this stupid attraction I felt towards him since the day we met? I curse my mother for putting me in this situation; curse her for making me face all these feelings I had buried long ago.
Curse her, damn it! And curse Kara, too, just for good measure.
?You?re beating this poor bush to death, Relena, now spill it! I want to know how it happened!? Hilde?s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. ?And show me that rock!?
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?Next time, we?re getting a cab.? I grumbled irritably, shivering as the cold January air bit into the skin of my legs, our heels clicking a symphonic against the sidewalk. ?Leave it to you to drive a car in New York City, Dorothy.?
We had to park kilometers?miles!?away from El Pomodoro; it was a miracle we had found a space at all. But that was Dorothy, alright, totally brazen and a risk-taker. Driving in New York? Only if you wanted to die of suffocation while stuck in traffic.
?Ah, Relena, lighten up; it was fun. Plus, I hate cabs; they?re filthy and there?s always the risk of you breaking something by the way they? can it even be called ?driving??? she drawled with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
We finally made it to El Pomodoro, this small restaurant stuck in a niche between a bookstore and a gift shop; you could easily overlook it since it was so small, tucked between two equally small shops, but very expensive?the quiet, exclusive and pricey kinds of restaurants billionaires like Quatre Winner preferred.
Now, Quatre Winner has always been a mystery to me, I must confess. I used to hear countless stories his sisters droned on and on endlessly back at boarding school, speaking wonder upon wonder of their younger and only handsome brother. But even through all the storytelling I had to endure during those few years, I had never even had a glimpse of him. He had always been like this sort of figure, you know, the kind of person you?ve heard so much about you feel you actually know him, but he?s still a complete and literal stranger to you.
Quatre Winner? It was a shame I had met him under such circumstances. Have you ever felt like you?ve met someone you clicked with in so many deep and diverse ways, you know he?s the one for you? I used to think Quatre was that man for me. We had so many things in common; we came from the same backgrounds, we were both passionate about our jobs, single-minded beings who strove for success. At one point, I had been more than willing to take the risk and go with it, you know, get to know each other on a much deeper level?on a more personal level.
I guess I?ve always been afraid? I?m not sure of what exactly I?m afraid, but I?ve always had reservations regarding any sort of serious relationships.
And lately, more than often I?ve found myself comparing Quatre?s boyish good looks to Trowa?s devil-may-care, debonair quality with his ?I am too sexy for this world, could you give Satan a call?? philosophy. And while I am sure any sort of relationship with Quatre will be a guarantee of a life-long commitment, I know that with Trowa, though bumpy, it would be one hell of a ride.
It?s the classic paradigm: choosing the bad boy who will certify your living on the edge on a daily basis. And while I know it would be fun and rejuvenating, it would also be painful.
I?ve realized that along these five years I?ve worked in the company alongside Trowa, I?ve developed some sort of sentiment toward him, much deeper than whatever thing I thought I had towards Quatre. And yet, neither of them are possibilities; one is a client and the other a coworker.
Grand life of mine, dropping two guys into my life that I can?t have.
And while being engaged to Trowa, even if it?s against our will, will be hard and a test to my self-control. If I were to leave it to him, he would have married me, fucked me, cheated on me and divorced me in a single breath with a promise of a nightly visit now and then in remembrance of past good times. Just look at what he did to Krista; though I couldn?t care less since I don?t really know the woman, I sympathize with her. And that?s just a crude, real proof of how frivolous Trowa really is; it?s all about sex and having a good time for him; sentimentalities are discarded like garbage and put to freeze outside his window while he enjoys his latest lady friend.
What kind of woman in her right mind would submit herself?willingly?to such treatment?
It kind of makes me admit what a hypocrite I am; to censure and condemn him in one breath for his foul behavior when mine?s been almost or just as dire as his.
I guess I know the truth to my fear now? I think I?d prefer to stay in denial. People say that there?s no love without fear or hate? People say that fearing or hating someone is a cruel and cold manifestation of love?
?Relena?? Quatre?s arm around my waist as he leaned in close startled me. His blue-green eyes flickered with concern as they looked straight into mine, and all I could do was stare dumbly in return. ?Bring me a glass of water!? He barked demandingly to someone to his left, taking me by the arm and helping me into my seat.
He really was an enigma. I wanted to know what he really thought of this ?engagement?. Why would he look almost disappointed when I told him I didn?t want to stretch it for too long? Why would he get so easily upset with simple truths? Most likely he just got upset that he wouldn?t get to fuck me for as long as he probably wants to. That?s what all this is about, now that I come to think of it.
In love with Trowa Barton? And then, all I could think of was what happened earlier this morning at my office; the pressure of his body against mine, the passion in his face, the lust in his eyes, the brutal evidence of his body. It all meshed into one multicolored work of lustful art in my mind and crashed into the emptiness inside my heart. Empty? I could never love someone like Trowa Barton.
I just couldn?t allow myself to love someone like him. It would be self-destructive and I would only be lying to myself thinking sexual gratification is enough.
But then again, I?m just being foolish by even thinking this; I bet he?s sitting on his ass right now, pretending to work while thinking which society babe he can screw next. I could very well suggest a ?no strings attached? deal to him but I don?t think it would work right now seeing as we?re already engaged.
I wanted to laugh, really laugh until I could no longer take it. How was I to think that I would enter the New Year engaged? How could I have foretold my mother?s plan? It was all so ridiculous and, one would think, impossible; things like this don?t happen in real life, right?
This time it was Dorothy who shook me, her face a mask of concern and impatience. ?Relena, are you okay? Are you sick??
I forced a smile to my lips, shaking my head as I reached for my briefcase and pulled a copy of the contract. ?Not at all. Now, shall we??
Diligent. Straight-forward. What was I thinking! I felt like laughing. Trowa will rue the day he tried to mess up my world. I guess I just needed a little ice-shock to bring me back to reality. I had been stupid enough to let him kiss me during New Year?s, but to let him kiss me and? manhandle me like he did so freely this morning?
I smiled at Quatre?s handsome, worry-filled face?so sexy and attractive; such a cultured gentleman.
Yes? It was time for some damage control.
To be continued?
AN: Hoho! I know you were expecting a major confrontation between Krista and Relena, but I?m just not good with cat-fights, and neither do I like them. In fact, I despise how women act so uncivilized when arguing over a man. Plus, Krista is a key player in this story and I just couldn't go ruining her character and credibility.
Please review! Remember I?m a review whore and a constructive criticism addict and I need my continual dose. Don?t make me suffer, please. I don?t like pain.
By Andrea Sinisterra
Romance
Rated PG-13
Standard Disclaimers Apply
Author?s Note: I come bearing good and bad news. Good news: I?ve updated. Yay, me! ? Bad news: This is the last chapter I have written to completion. I?m currently working on chapter five, but just keep in mind that I won?t be updating every one/two weeks. Sorry!
Special Thanks: To GG for proofreading!!
Disclaimer: El Pomodoro is a real restaurant here where I live; I don't think there's one in NY. If it does exists, then, coincidence, coincidence. If there IS a Pomodoro in NY, please omit any erroneous location, description, etc.
Warinings: Mild sexual innuendos and situations. And I'd like to add cursing just for good measure. I don't remember if there was any potty-mouthing in this chapter...
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<b>Part 4</b>
Krista McKenzie strode into my office shrouded in a cloud of Chic and with an attitude that didn?t bode well with me. She threw her long wool coat on my leather sofa along with her purse, flinging her hair over her shoulder with an air of arrogance that had me two seconds away from calling security and have her kicked out of the building. I would give my entire fortune to see her face when Rob left the imprint of his G. I. Joe combat boot on her ass.
It would have been easier if she had at least knocked on my door; I?m not even asking for a simple good morning? But some courtesy would?ve helped. I know she must be upset since she believes I?m marrying her boyfriend?God, how amusing and strange that sounds?but there are ways to talk things over. This is my office, damn it.
I could already feel the bitchiness taking over my mind. I wanted to laugh at my silly thoughts. She can shove her Trowa up where the sun doesn?t shine or wherever the hell she wants, like I cared.
Her tone made me wince. Did I really compliment this Krista McKenzie? Was I mad? I must have been drunk.
?Relena Peacecraft.? My name was spat out as if it was a disgusting piece of rotten cheese; full of contempt. ?I think you have some explaining to do. I want answers.? With that, she slammed the Times down on my desk, folded with ?the? article and picture to the front.
I was suddenly grateful for the broad, solid expanse of my mahogany desk between us; I had the abrupt feeling this crazy woman could struck me anytime. She seemed like a very volatile person, and I know she had all the right to be, but why lose your cool and resort to violence? I was so not in the mood for a catfight, especially if it was uncalled for. To give Trowa the opportunity to gloat over the fact that two women were fighting over him? Pigs will fly before that happens. I cleared my throat, more to get my focus on her than to get <i>her</i> attention on me. ?Ms. McKenzie, please, take a seat.?
She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly, but after a moment, she seemed to huff and sunk into the soft leather of one of the two chairs before my desk. She still had her arms crossed tightly over her chest, and the slight protuberance of her lips revealed the childish pouting and subsequent sulking. I wanted to laugh.
She was still regal and beautiful though, despite her tantrum. She sat straight in the chair, chin and nose raised high; her manicured nails tapping restlessly against her arms; her legs were crossed elegantly at her knees. She was tall, perhaps taller than me, with long dark brown hair that curled at the ends; bright, hazel eyes and light freckles over pale, flawless skin. She was dressed impeccably in a soft pink business suit, the skirt reaching just above her knees. She just needed to grow up a little?mentally. She probably was a good lay; I didn?t think Trowa would enjoy spending so much time with her otherwise. And he was obviously fooling around on the side. I, now, was positive that Krista was not the woman my mother had seen Trowa with at that restaurant. Man-whore.
Hmm, that was something we had to discuss. If he was thinking of ?cheating? on me, something I really didn?t care about, he had to make certain it will remain quiet and kept out of the public eye; otherwise I would be abolished by the press and then subsequently turned into a martyr. He, most certainly, would be spit on by every single person he passes by from his apartment on his way to work. Not to mention Alice, his secretary?who adores me?would probably poison his coffee.
I could already see the scandalous headlines at that.
Krista cleared her throat loudly, glaring at me through her thick dark lashes. ?Well? I would like to know how it is that I wake up this morning to discover that <i>my</i> boyfriend, Trowa Barton, is engaged to another woman?? God, she made Trowa sound like he was some sort of deity?or the son of some important President. Girl, get over yourself.
?Ms. McKenzie.? I sighed dramatically, bleeding this for all it was worth. ?It happened so suddenly. It was completely unexpected, for all of us, I assure you.?
She was shaking her head vigorously. ?I will not accept that. You were with Trowa when he was with <i>me</i>. You took him from me! I?ve been cheated in the worst possible way.?
So, okay, I could sympathize with her. I could only imagine the embarrassment she must have gone through when she came across the announcement this morning. I could probably die if I opened the paper one day and found that my boyfriend was engaged to another woman. She had been a victim in this whole affair. But, if only Trowa had mentioned something, anything about Krista, something could?ve been done about it. But how do I tell a woman her boyfriend hadn?t even thought of her when he accepted to marry someone else? How do you tell a woman that she?s just another warm bed in an endless line of beautiful females?
Trowa, you pig-minded, heartless, conceited, shit-headed asshole!
I sighed. ?Listen, Ms. McKenzie. You are right. Unfortunately, there?s nothing I can tell you that will make you feel better. And believe me, yelling or crying your heart out to me won?t help you either. I suggest you call Trowa, or better yet, go see him right now, and let him have a piece of your mind. You can hit him, I don?t care. Slap him a few times, it?ll make you feel better. Trust me.?
She looked at me, and to give her credit, her eyes hardened instead of the torrent of tears I had been expecting. She nodded once, a small smile on her perfect, pink lips. She stood up and gathered her coat and purse, turning around a moment to regard me silently. ?You know, you?re not like I pictured you would be.?
I laughed. ?Yeah, I get that all the time.?
She nodded again, and headed to the door. She straightened her shoulders when she opened the wooded panel, and turned around one last time. ?Thanks.?
I shook my head, smiling at her. ?Not at all. Thank <i>you</i> for understanding. Punch him hard for me, would you??
She laughed, shaking her head before she closed the door behind her.
It wasn?t even an hour later when Trowa barged into my office followed by a very ecstatic-looking Meredith. Trowa walked to stand in the space between the two leather chairs, just in front of me, arms crossed tightly over his chest. His brown bangs partially covered his eyes, but the emerald was still strikingly brilliant through the curtain of hair.
?Thank you, Meredith.? I emphasized every word to let the not-so-subtle meaning down in my secretary?s head. She nodded her head looking a little disappointed, but dutifully closed the door behind her.
Trowa still stood passively in front of me, and I noticed how he looked a little? disheveled. His hair was messier than usual, his tie was almost undone, and his shirt looked like it was? wet? Sweat? My brows rose in surprise when I put the pieces together. ?So, I see you and Krista made up. How? cozy.?
?Made up, when exactly? Before she slapped me, or maybe when she dragged me across the room? Or no, wait, perhaps while she dumped her glass of water on me? That could?ve been fun. I think her shirt was see-through. Maybe next time I?ll be able to squeeze some TLC in between all the violence.? He plopped down on one of the chairs, and I mentally cringed at the thought of the expensive Italian leather getting soaked and soiled.
I couldn?t help myself as I laughed at his defeated tone. He just looked too adorable. ?Oh, you poor thing.? I leaned a little over my desk, shaking my head as I rested my chin on my upturned palm. ?Trowa, how could you have overlooked the fact that you had a girlfriend??
He shrugged, letting his long body melt into the chair. He tugged at his tie halfheartedly, trying to knot it back to some semblance of normalcy. ?It?s not like what we had, had been anything serious. She was even dating someone on the side. A coworker or something. I don?t really give a shit. And cut me some slack, would you? It?s not like I had time to consider my options. One moment you suggest we date to get our mother?s off our backs, and the next, we?re engaged and kissing in front of a multitude!?
I gasped. I stalked around the table stopping to stand in front of him. ?Oh, well, I wasn?t the one who put it upon herself to give the audience consisting of New York?s wealthiest tattle tellers ?a show they would never forget?!?
There was a very sexy tug to one corner of his lips as he regarded me through lowered lids. He lazily drew back his outstretched legs, only to tower over me as he pushed some hair out of my face. ?And I was right.? He reached for my left hand, his fingers twirling the engagement ring teasingly. ?I don?t think Krista was that upset. It was just her female pride that got a little wounded.?
I snorted, shaking my head at his words. ?Trowa, how can you be so cynic??
?We are but two of a kind, Relena.? He moved forward a step, and as I stepped back, I found the edge of the desk against the back of my thighs. His musky cologne and aftershave formed a capsule of heady desire around me and it took all my willpower not to close my eyes and succumb to its call.
His breath fanned against my cheek, warm and slow. ?You know,? He whispered, his lips moving against my skin, touching but not quite kissing. ?I should be thankful? You have no idea how long?? He kissed the edge of my jaw; his hands holding my waist firmly. He moved up to kiss the skin under my ear. ??I?ve wanted you.?
He was intoxicating. His scent, his touch, his words, everything caused an unexpected reaction within me and for a moment I felt as if the very marrow had been drained from my bones. ?Trowa,? I pushed him back a little, yet his hands still remained steadfast on my hips. His biceps flexed where my hands gripped them, and I could see the strained look on his face. His eyes were dark; the emerald was so dark it was almost black, even if their depths still managed to sparkle. ?There?s something I wanted to talk to you about.?
I moved around him, his hands falling from my sides as I took a seat. He followed suit and sat in the chair beside me.
?Look, we still have to settle a few things. How long will this last? I don?t intend to stay engaged to you for too long, and neither am I thinking of getting married. If we keep it too short, they?ll say we didn?t try hard enough. If we drag this for too long, either they start pressuring us to get married, or they won?t believe us if and when we break it up. I think we should stay engaged for a couple of months? let?s say four to six months, and then we can just tell them it didn?t work and that we?ve decided to go our separate ways.?
He jerked his head once in a brisk nod. ?I agree.?
I waited for him to say something more, but he just sat there, defying me with his eyes. ?And? You agree, so? You don?t have anything else to add??
He let out a deep breath? there was a tinge of something?disappointment, maybe??in his eyes and voice. ?No, I just find this whole issue a little hard to absorb and more than a little ridiculous. It was fine agreeing to fool our mothers, but fooling everyone else??
I laughed lightly at the sarcastic amusement in his voice. ?Well, it could?ve been worked out a little easier if you hadn?t kissed me like some sex-driven macho. Then that picture wouldn?t have gotten to the press and this would all have been way easier to deal with.?
?Just tell me how did you weave this and turned it against me? How is this my fault?? The he grinned at me, his head tipped low as he regarded me through dark, lowered lashes. ?But admit it, you liked it. In fact, I was a faithful witness to your enjoyment of said sex-driven activities.?
I laughed at him, letting my head fall back on the chair. ?I will not compromise myself to that, Trowa.?
His words were husky as he lowered his voice; the sound floating sexily to where I sat. ?You know very well that if I were to kiss you right now, you?d be with me the entire way. You want me, Relena, there?s no point denying it.?
Arrogant prick. ?You?re so full of bullshit I?m amazed you?re still able to balance your head on your shoulders.? I made my smile sweeter just to taunt him as I walked around my desk to sit behind it. I did want him, I have no qualms accepting it, but I?ll be damned if I told him that. ?You?re still allowed to have your women, I don?t plan on us changing our routine for this, but we have to keep our affairs out of the public eye to try to prevent a scandal; our mothers would probably die.?
His eyes hardened somewhere along my short speech, and there was a visible tightening of his jaw as his lips thinned, forming faint lines around his mouth. ?Good to know,? he said gravely.
I frowned at his tone, not really knowing why he was suddenly so upset, but decided it really wasn?t my problem. And neither did I care. He should be overflowing with happiness that he?s allowed to have his women? not that he needs my permission.
?I?m sure Quatre Winner will also be pleased with this. He must?ve thrown a fit when he found out about our engagement.?
I kept my face straight out of sheer willpower. He really was an asshole. My hands itched with the urge to wring his neck and mangle him into oblivion. I took a mental breath. ?Hmm. Well, it?s not any of your business. And speaking of which, I know you only come here to fuck around, but some of us actually come here to work. So, since I still have a bunch of things to go over, I suggest you go find something usefu?just something to do.?
He stood up; his expression was completely closed up. He walked around the desk and I only had a second to register his movements before he seized my mouth, kissing me so harshly I almost whimpered by the force of his kiss. I tried pressing my lips closed but soon his lips softened on mine and I couldn?t help but surrender to it as he kissed me so thoroughly I feared I would faint. His tongue stroked mine sensually; the slide smooth and passionate. He nudged me up to stand on my feet, and it was all I could do not to sigh when I felt his solid frame against me; his chest pressed against my breasts and one of his legs wedged between mine. I was once again surrounded by his scent, and I seemed to have lost all my strength for I didn?t complain when he took a step forward and pressed the back of my legs to the desk. He slid his hands behind my thighs and hefted me up in one swift motion onto the cold mahogany surface.
His mouth left mine, and I was almost relieved as I sucked in a deep breath, but lost it again when he ducked his head to trail his tongue down my neck to my clavicle. I threaded my fingers through his silky hair, throwing my head back as I allowed the bliss to take over my body. The exquisite sensations that coursed through my blood were intoxicating, just like the feeling of his hands and mouth on my skin. One of his hands moved up to cup and knead one of my breasts through the silk of my blouse, his thumb drawing lazy circles over the nipple.
The sound of my own voice as I moaned wantonly broke me out my trance, and I jerked in surprise when the intercom buzzed. I hopped off the desk and turned around, running a hand through my tussled hair trying to smooth it out; I pressed the flashing button, opening the link as I took a deep breath. ?Yes, Meredith??
?Ms. Relena, Ms. Schbeicker is here and is asking to see you. She doesn?t have an appointment either??
I smiled. Meredith hated when the day didn?t follow her agenda. She was as meticulous and as perfectionist as they came, and she had no qualms letting the world know she didn?t appreciate their rudeness. ?Rudeness? being, of course, not calling in to arrange an appointment. ?That?s okay, Meredith. Mr. Barton was just leaving, anyway. Give me five minutes, then send Hilde in?and could you please bring us some coffee? You?d be my hero forever.?
Meredith?s laugh was soft and girly, and I knew the petite woman had to be blushing. ?Will do.?
I sighed when the line was terminated; perfect, just what I needed?to be drilled for something this stupid at ten in the morning by a self-proclaimed ?neglected? and furious best friend. I won?t even need to sit for long before said best friend screeches her head off at my actions. And she probably has every right; I would certainly die if one day I open the paper to find her wedding announcement.
I was suddenly aware of Trowa standing behind me, pressed so close to me I could clearly feel every single contour of his hard body. Every. Single. Contour. The edge of his teeth on my earlobe was tempting enough for me to surrender completely, but I had already done too badly in this game, I wasn?t about to make things worse.
If he wants me in his bed, he?ll have to work hard for it.
I stepped out of his embrace, incrementing the distance between us, allowing my body to cool down and my breath to go back to normal before Hilde walked in and my disheveled, breathless state would give what had just happened away. Trowa?s eyes were still dark with unadulterated lust; his chest was slightly heaving and his lips were almost red and a little swollen from his fierce kisses. I imagine mine were the same, if not worse, and I hoped Hilde would not notice them.
?I think you should leave. I don?t?? His face was passive; so calm and collected I felt the urge to hit him for looking so damn good. ?Trowa, you have to understand I?m not interested in having a serious relationship? or any sort of relationship. I don?t want to sleep with you, so I?ll ask you to please stop this.?
?Have you always been such a bitch or did you take classes?? I guess the shock must have shown on my face because he shook his head. ?I didn?t mean??
Where did <i>that</i> come from?! What the hell was his problem? ?Sorry to burst your bubble, Sparky, but I?ve always been a bitch. And I don?t appreciate you manhandling me like a piece of meat. This? arrangement between us is a farce and I don?t plan on marrying you; I?m not even planning on staying engaged for too long. We will not live together and I will not change my life because of this. Now, if you?d please leave, I have things to do.? By the end of my speech, I reached to open the door, leaving all subtleties and politeness aside; I had dug my nails into my palms trying to keep myself from cussing him out of my office. Something like ?I have things to do, so get the fuck out? kept running endlessly back and forth on my tongue.
He stood for a second or two without uttering a word, still as a stone, before he jerked into motion and left my office in a couple of long smooth strides, his gaze completely avoiding mine. I didn?t even have time to close the door and give in to the feral desire of sagging against the wooden panel when Hilde walked in, her bright red stilettos drumming a sexy staccato against the dark marble floor. She carried a folded newspaper under her arm and as soon as she reached my desk, she slammed it right down next to Krista?s?both with ?the article? folded out.
?Okay,? she plopped down on the couch, dropping her purse to the floor. ?Now, I?ve given this some thought since I bought the paper 15 minutes ago, and I?ve decided I?m just going to let you talk.?
I bit down a smile as I closed the door behind me. Hilde Schbeicker; I met her four years ago at NYU because she was hungry, and every time I tell someone this story, I have to assure them that, no, I?m not kidding. We had been sitting in class waiting for our International Investments Analysis professor to come, and the 10 minutes I endured in that room had been torture; she couldn?t stop complaining every other minute about how hungry she was, how she hadn?t eaten anything all day, how she didn?t have any money to <i>?buy a freaking crumb!?</i>. So, I had taken pity on her?well, actually it was more to shut her up?and offered her a gum.
Since then, we?ve become inseparable. She?s the kind of classic, dark-haired beauty who walks into a room and everyone freezes around her, agape and in awe of being in the same breathing corner with her. Petite, but with enough attitude to make up for her lack of height, Hilde is a menace that I?m proud to be friends with.
?Who the hell am I kidding?? She snapped, pointing angrily at the mangled newspaper resting on my desk. ?Explain that right now! It?s true, isn?t it? That was Trowa I saw coming out of your office? and looking quite rumpled, if you ask me.?
I moved to sit at the other end of the sofa, tucking a leg beneath me as I turned to look at her. ?I?m not asking you. Krista broke up with him a few minutes ago and apparently she left with a bang? Unluckily for him, it wasn?t the kind of ?bang? he was expecting.?
Hilde winced even if a smile still etched her lips. ?Ouch,? but she didn?t sound the least bit sympathetic. ?I didn?t know they were dating officially; I mean, he went with Alexandra Tsavaras to Tom Ford?s Christmas party at the Plaza? So, wait? Are you saying Krista found out??
I was already nodding, confirming her half enquiry when someone knocked once on the door and then Meredith squeezed her head in. ?Excuse me, here is your coffee. I apologize for the delay.? She pushed the door open with her knee, balancing our coffees in a small black tray which she place on the small table in front of us.
I smiled at her, as Hilde and I leaned over to take our mugs. ?That?s alright. Thank you, Meredith.?
She nodded her head, a small smile on her lips as she turned around and left, shutting the door softly behind her.
??yeah, she pretty much barged into my office this morning and demanded answers. I just can?t believe Trowa never mentioned her!?
Hilde frowned, looking at me with a perplexed sparkle in her eyes. ?So, wait. How long have you two been dating and why wasn?t I notified about this??
I laughed. ?Well? It?s a really long, sort of complicated story. Let?s just say that our mothers cornered us into dating and tricked us into getting engaged.?
?Do you have any idea how weird this sounds??
She was laughing, and all I could do was narrow my eyes in mock-indignation. ?Oh, believe me, I know. It turned up a few more notches when Trowa came knocking on my door early this morning with a newspaper in hand announcing to the whole world that we were engaged?pictures and all. Apparently Kara, Trowa?s mother, has been trying to set him up with ?respectable? women for some time now.?
Hilde sipped her coffee thoughtfully. ?Hmm, sounds awfully familiar. My parents have been trying to set me up with this lanky guy? I think he?s a hot-shot publicist or editor or something. Not going to happen.?
I laughed. ?What?s up with parents these days? I mean, one, we?re grown ups; I think we?re old enough to make our own decisions; and two, this isn?t the Middle Ages!... Hilde! What am I going to do? I just told him we?re going to stay like this for approximately four to six months?how am I going to survive this? He?s driving me crazy already, and it?s only been the first day!?
Hilde chuckled; I can?t believe she?s laughing about something so serious. ?Relena, seriously, come on! What?s wrong with staying engaged to a man like Trowa Barton? Do you have any idea how many women in New York would kill to be you right now? You have to admit he?s quite a catch.?
I mimicked her tone; that haughty, overly confident yet mocking tilt she used when she wanted things to be done her way. ?I have to admit nothing. You know me, Hilde; I?m going to go crazy before three months.?
?Relena! What do you have against the man? It?s not like he?s got cooties or anything!?
I don?t know what?s wrong. I really don?t. Why was I so afraid of diving into this commitment? It?s not like it?s real; I only have to fake I?m engaged to Trowa Barton for a few months, attend social gatherings with him, and then we break up and go back to our lives like nothing ever happened. Really, what could be so bad?
I sighed. We?ve been in this game for five years now. This whole attraction that only seemed to grow deeper every time I turned him down; he never faked nonchalance, never pretended he wasn?t attracted to me, I just always found a way to move around him and keep on with my life. But that?s all it is; I?m just someone he?s attracted to, someone who?s turned him down more times than it?s considered healthy?healthy for his prime-time male ego. And that?s the thing; I?m just a trophy to him. And I won?t deny that I feel superior for not giving in to his advances because if one of the things that I?m aware of is that people talk. Just like I know that by tonight, half of Manhattan will know that Krista was dumped in the vilest way.
I would have been happy to go along with this charade had it been any other man; with any other man, I would feel like a goddess, completely in my element. Always in control. I manage to detach any emotional link to my surroundings, keeping my cool as I do and say what I please knowing they won?t ever have the guts to refuse me anything? But with Trowa? It just is different. He makes me feel frustrated and excited at the same time; he?s passionate and so deep unlike the shallow dimwits I?m used to dating.
I don?t think I?ve ever felt this contradictory and confused. I don?t know what to feel; how to feel. I know that if I let Trowa get to me, he?ll shred me to pieces and then step over the remains of my dignity, and by the way I feel, or better yet, given the way he makes me feel when he talks to me or touches me, I know I?ll allow him anything. I?m weak and oh-so-pathetic when I?m with him. The saddest thing is that I know and accept all this.
It?s like that guy you like when you?re in high school, but you?re just content with the attraction; you don?t have any intentions of pursuing anything because you?re positive it would never work. It?s more or less like trying to teach an old bird to talk; it?s hard and nearly impossible, and after a while, you just get tired and give it up. That?s how Trowa is; he will never change his ways; he will always be a womanizer. I had given up on him, had decided to just give up to this stupid attraction I felt towards him since the day we met? I curse my mother for putting me in this situation; curse her for making me face all these feelings I had buried long ago.
Curse her, damn it! And curse Kara, too, just for good measure.
?You?re beating this poor bush to death, Relena, now spill it! I want to know how it happened!? Hilde?s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. ?And show me that rock!?
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?Next time, we?re getting a cab.? I grumbled irritably, shivering as the cold January air bit into the skin of my legs, our heels clicking a symphonic against the sidewalk. ?Leave it to you to drive a car in New York City, Dorothy.?
We had to park kilometers?miles!?away from El Pomodoro; it was a miracle we had found a space at all. But that was Dorothy, alright, totally brazen and a risk-taker. Driving in New York? Only if you wanted to die of suffocation while stuck in traffic.
?Ah, Relena, lighten up; it was fun. Plus, I hate cabs; they?re filthy and there?s always the risk of you breaking something by the way they? can it even be called ?driving??? she drawled with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
We finally made it to El Pomodoro, this small restaurant stuck in a niche between a bookstore and a gift shop; you could easily overlook it since it was so small, tucked between two equally small shops, but very expensive?the quiet, exclusive and pricey kinds of restaurants billionaires like Quatre Winner preferred.
Now, Quatre Winner has always been a mystery to me, I must confess. I used to hear countless stories his sisters droned on and on endlessly back at boarding school, speaking wonder upon wonder of their younger and only handsome brother. But even through all the storytelling I had to endure during those few years, I had never even had a glimpse of him. He had always been like this sort of figure, you know, the kind of person you?ve heard so much about you feel you actually know him, but he?s still a complete and literal stranger to you.
Quatre Winner? It was a shame I had met him under such circumstances. Have you ever felt like you?ve met someone you clicked with in so many deep and diverse ways, you know he?s the one for you? I used to think Quatre was that man for me. We had so many things in common; we came from the same backgrounds, we were both passionate about our jobs, single-minded beings who strove for success. At one point, I had been more than willing to take the risk and go with it, you know, get to know each other on a much deeper level?on a more personal level.
I guess I?ve always been afraid? I?m not sure of what exactly I?m afraid, but I?ve always had reservations regarding any sort of serious relationships.
And lately, more than often I?ve found myself comparing Quatre?s boyish good looks to Trowa?s devil-may-care, debonair quality with his ?I am too sexy for this world, could you give Satan a call?? philosophy. And while I am sure any sort of relationship with Quatre will be a guarantee of a life-long commitment, I know that with Trowa, though bumpy, it would be one hell of a ride.
It?s the classic paradigm: choosing the bad boy who will certify your living on the edge on a daily basis. And while I know it would be fun and rejuvenating, it would also be painful.
I?ve realized that along these five years I?ve worked in the company alongside Trowa, I?ve developed some sort of sentiment toward him, much deeper than whatever thing I thought I had towards Quatre. And yet, neither of them are possibilities; one is a client and the other a coworker.
Grand life of mine, dropping two guys into my life that I can?t have.
And while being engaged to Trowa, even if it?s against our will, will be hard and a test to my self-control. If I were to leave it to him, he would have married me, fucked me, cheated on me and divorced me in a single breath with a promise of a nightly visit now and then in remembrance of past good times. Just look at what he did to Krista; though I couldn?t care less since I don?t really know the woman, I sympathize with her. And that?s just a crude, real proof of how frivolous Trowa really is; it?s all about sex and having a good time for him; sentimentalities are discarded like garbage and put to freeze outside his window while he enjoys his latest lady friend.
What kind of woman in her right mind would submit herself?willingly?to such treatment?
It kind of makes me admit what a hypocrite I am; to censure and condemn him in one breath for his foul behavior when mine?s been almost or just as dire as his.
I guess I know the truth to my fear now? I think I?d prefer to stay in denial. People say that there?s no love without fear or hate? People say that fearing or hating someone is a cruel and cold manifestation of love?
?Relena?? Quatre?s arm around my waist as he leaned in close startled me. His blue-green eyes flickered with concern as they looked straight into mine, and all I could do was stare dumbly in return. ?Bring me a glass of water!? He barked demandingly to someone to his left, taking me by the arm and helping me into my seat.
He really was an enigma. I wanted to know what he really thought of this ?engagement?. Why would he look almost disappointed when I told him I didn?t want to stretch it for too long? Why would he get so easily upset with simple truths? Most likely he just got upset that he wouldn?t get to fuck me for as long as he probably wants to. That?s what all this is about, now that I come to think of it.
In love with Trowa Barton? And then, all I could think of was what happened earlier this morning at my office; the pressure of his body against mine, the passion in his face, the lust in his eyes, the brutal evidence of his body. It all meshed into one multicolored work of lustful art in my mind and crashed into the emptiness inside my heart. Empty? I could never love someone like Trowa Barton.
I just couldn?t allow myself to love someone like him. It would be self-destructive and I would only be lying to myself thinking sexual gratification is enough.
But then again, I?m just being foolish by even thinking this; I bet he?s sitting on his ass right now, pretending to work while thinking which society babe he can screw next. I could very well suggest a ?no strings attached? deal to him but I don?t think it would work right now seeing as we?re already engaged.
I wanted to laugh, really laugh until I could no longer take it. How was I to think that I would enter the New Year engaged? How could I have foretold my mother?s plan? It was all so ridiculous and, one would think, impossible; things like this don?t happen in real life, right?
This time it was Dorothy who shook me, her face a mask of concern and impatience. ?Relena, are you okay? Are you sick??
I forced a smile to my lips, shaking my head as I reached for my briefcase and pulled a copy of the contract. ?Not at all. Now, shall we??
Diligent. Straight-forward. What was I thinking! I felt like laughing. Trowa will rue the day he tried to mess up my world. I guess I just needed a little ice-shock to bring me back to reality. I had been stupid enough to let him kiss me during New Year?s, but to let him kiss me and? manhandle me like he did so freely this morning?
I smiled at Quatre?s handsome, worry-filled face?so sexy and attractive; such a cultured gentleman.
Yes? It was time for some damage control.
To be continued?
AN: Hoho! I know you were expecting a major confrontation between Krista and Relena, but I?m just not good with cat-fights, and neither do I like them. In fact, I despise how women act so uncivilized when arguing over a man. Plus, Krista is a key player in this story and I just couldn't go ruining her character and credibility.
Please review! Remember I?m a review whore and a constructive criticism addict and I need my continual dose. Don?t make me suffer, please. I don?t like pain.
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