Codename Lightning Chapter 1 (PG-13)
Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 12:26 am
Codename: Lightning
A Shin Kidou Senshi Gundam W fanfic by Preventer Void
Chapter 1: Second Life
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the revised version of my original Codename Lightning fanfiction. Over time, I decided to go back and correct certain parts of the story that I had problems with. This includes spelling and grammatical errors, plotholes, and just parts of the story that I wanted to be different for other purposes. For now, the original version is still on Fanfiction.net, until I can finally get the inspiration to finish Chapter 6.
Personally, I rate this fic at about a PG-13 for violence, language and adult content/situations. I originally rated it an R for safety, but my friends warned me that since the yaoi fics have basically taken over FF.net's R section, I would be advised to set it as PG-13 instead. Additionally, I feel compelled to mention that later chapters make reference to other Gundam series; while knowledge of these series is not mandatory, it helps out when it comes to some of the little jokes I snuck in.
Originally, this included a disclaimer warning that yours truly is fiercely pro-Relena and would not tolerate any yaoi fangirls whining about the fact that this fic sets her and Heero up in a very intimate relationship...but for this MB, it really isn't needed. ^_^;;
********************
The noonday sun pierced its way through the curtains in the office, casting a golden reflection upon the clear brown sea in Relena Darlian's teacup. She spooned up a modest portion of sugar, poured it into her cup, and stirred it until the white cloud vanished before taking a sip. Setting the cup down, she looked at her companion.
"So, how has everyone been doing?"
Duo Maxwell looked up from the generous helping of cream he was pouring into his tea. "Oh, right. Well, let's see...Zhang and Sally have become quite the team lately."
The young diplomat smiled. "I had a feeling he would outgrow that whole 'women are weak' phase when he met someone who wouldn't take it, like Sally."
"Or you," supplied the braided boy.
"Me? Oh, please. I'd just as soon have killed him with a bobby pin."
He chuckled. "I'd pay to see that. Anyway, Quatre's doing alright, even though he says that there are days when the necktie feels like a noose around his neck."
Relena smiled and shrugged. "I can understand the sentiment. I wasn't really used to being an important government official at age 15, so he's not alone. In fact, tell him that if he needs someone to talk to about it, my doors are always open."
"I'll do just that. Meanwhile, Trowa ran into a girl he knew from his pre-Gundam days, and they've really hit it off."
"That's great. I was starting to feel sorry for him, since everybody else had someone." Instantly, her heart reminded her that her own someone had walked out two years ago and never returned. But this was about her friends, so personal gripes could wait. "Speaking of which, how are things on your side of the world?"
Smiling, Duo took a sip of his tea before replying. "She said yes."
A grin parted her face and she clapped her hands together. "That's wonderful! I hope I'll be on the guest list."
"Of course, unless you're worried about all the public exposure."
Relena shook her head. "For my friends, everything else takes a back seat."
The braided Preventer smirked at her last comment. "How about your family?"
She looked at him, concern showing on her face. "Why? Is something wrong with Milliardo?"
Her friend smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Not exactly...unless you consider the fact that he won't be getting much sleep in a few months."
"What?"
"One word: triplets."
The young woman had to keep from spitting her tea across the desk. "WHAT?! Why didn't he or Noin tell me?"
Duo shrugged. "Well, he's off at Mars with the terraforming project and he's been busy."
"I'LL say he's been busy!"
That started them laughing, and it was several minutes before either of them could speak. When they did, she couldn't keep herself from asking the question that had been on her mind for two years. "What about Heero? How's he doing?"
Here, the young Gundam pilot looked nervous. He tried to keep from looking at her and instead let his eyes wander around the room. He looked at the wide bookshelves crammed full of dusty tomes, the mahogany desk, the stylish new PC, the...
"Duo!"
His eyes snapped back to Relena, who had that look on her face. One of the things he admired most about the young princess was her tenacity; when she cared about something, she stuck to it like a pit-bull. At the moment, however, he wished she had even an ounce of bend in her. She WOULD know about the Perfect Soldier, come Hell or high water, and he would have to be the one to tell her. Sighing, he summoned up the courage to mumble an answer.
"...Heero got himself a girlfriend."
Duo braced himself for the Apocalypse. He expected it all: crying, shouting, random small objects being thrown...but instead, Relena simply looked a little wide-eyed. "Did he now? Have you met her?"
Still shaky, he nodded and continued. "Um, yeah. Girl named Claire. Works at a radio station at an L1 colony. Nice girl."
She lowered her head to stare into the waning ocean of brown inside her ceramic cup. "I'm happy for him." Her voice was level, even somewhat pleasant. But still, Duo sensed that his presence was making her uncomfortable. Rising to his feet, he thanked her for the tea and left as quietly as possible.
Relena didn't say anything for a long time. After the maid cleared away the dishes, she went back to her bedroom, closed and locked the door, and then she let his words sink in. Instantly, her legs gave out on her and she fell back against the door, slowly sliding down to the floor. The tears came, no matter how she tried to keep up her usual facade of calmness. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her body; it felt cold, even though it was July. But that didn't matter...nothing did. It was over.
She leaned against the door until the digital clock on her nightstand read 10:00. She ignored the butler when the Japanese ambassador came by for their four o'clock meeting. She ignored him when he told her she was going to miss her dinner with the President. She even ignored him when he said that her brother was coming by for his week off. None of his words reached her; she was withdrawn into her own mind, reflecting over and over again on the past four years. Finding him on the beach, dancing with him at the school, talking with him in the Kingdom, listening to his little speech before running off to fight the final battle, and finally collapsing into her arms after stopping the rebellion that following Christmas. When she leaned his head against her shoulder, she thought that everything was perfect: the feel of his soft hair on her cheek, the rhythmic beating of his heart against her chest, the warmth that spread throughout their bodies...but it wasn't. He had vanished a few days later, and the most recent time she heard about him was Duo's gossip this afternoon. He doesn't care, she told herself. You were some dreamy schoolgirl hopelessly chasing that boy, and all the time he thought of you as just a symbol, like everyone else...
She could feel the pressure building behind her eyes. The strain of her work, the careful effort to keep from slipping up and giving her detractors some ammunition against her, the feeling of giving up her youth for everyone else, and now the thought that the one person whom she thought cared didn't...it was too much. She knew that the migraine was coming, and she went to her private bathroom for aspirin. Two, four, six, eight...automatically, without thinking, she popped thirty of the small white pills into her mouth, taking a swig of water between each pair.
As she walked to her bed, she glanced to the side and saw herself in the vanity mirror on her dresser. Her hair was a tangled mess, her eyes were lined with red, and her face was flushed. Her conscience spoke to her in a familiar male voice, telling her to call the hospital. Hearing the even-toned voice, her lips twisted into a snarl and, in a sudden burst of rage, she punched the mirror, disregarding the pain that shot through her knuckles.
"Shut up! Shut the hell up! What do you know?! You're just some inhuman solider! You don't understand me at all! And I was the only one who defended you! When everyone else thought you were just some living weapon, I knew you were a human being. Well, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you ARE just some weapon! There's no way you could be human and still miss all the obvious signs I was giving out. Didn't you see?! Couldn't you tell how much I loved you? How much I cared about you? How you're the only thing that keeps me going in this miserable excuse for a life? How...how..."
She broke down again, unable to continue her tirade. The throbbing behind her eyes was growing. Without even getting undressed, she went over to her bed and laid down, falling into a fitful sleep soon after.
********************
Death, Relena thought, wasn't at all like she had suspected. There was no expanse of white clouds filled with relatives long gone. Neither was there a pit of fire and brimstone, roaring with the cries of the damned. In fact, it was more like being hung-over, except that the desire to curl up and die was much greater. She slowly emerged from oblivion with the painful realization that she was, in fact, still alive. If she had been in full control of herself, she would have noted the irony that taking large amounts of headache medicine simply made the pain in her mind worse. However, right now she only cared that she wasn't dead, despite her attempts to remedy the situation. She tried to move, but that just made her head hurt more.
When she opened her eyes, she saw that she wasn't in her mansion or a hospital, but rather in a bedroom within an unfamiliar apartment. Looking around, she took note of the fact that the furnishings were rather Spartan: the walls were eggshell white, and the only furniture was the bed upon which she lay, a dresser, and a nightstand with a lamp on it. There was a relaxing smell of lavender and vanilla, coupled with a spicy undertone that, without a doubt, marked the residence as a man's. She saw an IV machine set up next to the nightstand, the tube trailing underneath a bandage on her arm. Removing the needle, she stood and walked out the open doorway.
The living room was very similar to the bedroom, which did nothing to allay her suspicions about whose apartment she was in. It was painted the same white, and had only a couch, a couple of chairs, an end table, and a television in an oak entertainment center. She knew who lived here, as plain as if his name were scrawled on the walls in gigantic red letters. As she walked around the room, she could hear the silence of night being broken by the sound of faint snoring. She went to the couch and saw his lean form sprawled out across its length, resting soundly. As she watched him, her earlier anger returned and she had to do her best to keep from strangling him or worse, finding something sharp like a razor or a broken bottle and cutting him just to watch him bleed, to see him suffer a fraction of the pain he had given her. The young girl she had been years before was shocked at such malicious thoughts, but the woman who had lived through loss and suffering accepted them readily.
Fortunately for Heero Yuy, he sensed her presence and awoke from his light slumber before she could act on her violent fantasies. Sitting up, he looked up at Relena, who was hiding her rage behind a neutral mask. "You're up. Are you feeling better?"
Since she wouldn't show her anger, she let it out in her words. "I'd feel a lot better if I was in the hospital or the grave like I wanted. Why am I here?"
Ignoring the dark tone of her voice, he continued on. "Pagan told me that he found you in your bedroom and called the paramedics when he saw that you weren't breathing. Care to explain?"
Inwardly, the young diplomat cursed her family's aged butler for his intervention. "I have nothing to explain to you."
The brunette boy reached into the back pocket of his navy slacks and pulled out a folded piece of paper, and then carefully opened it up and read the message on it. "Then why did they have to pump your stomach to get out almost 10,000 milligrams of aspirin?"
Her violet eyes narrowed on him. "It's none of your concern."
"And why's that?"
She turned away from him, barely able to keep from screaming at him. "I thought you made things clear when you started seeing your new girlfriend."
"Oh, that."
Those two words echoed in Relena's mind until she lost all control. Spinning around, she caught him across the jaw with a right hook, staggering him and sending sharp knives of pain up her arm. When she looked at her hand, she saw the bandages that had been swaddled around it as they began turning red. She looked back to him as he stood up off the couch, a hand gingerly touching his sore cheek.
"And that...?"
She couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face as she looked into his deep blue eyes. "How can you be so totally clueless?! For the past four years, I've all but shouted my feelings for you at the top of my lungs, and you reward me by picking up some other girl? Did you expect me to be happy?!"
Heero sighed. "Relena...I'll explain, if you'll let me. Tell me why you're so famous." She answered without hesitation. "My family name." She was still frustrated with the fact that most people saw her as just a living symbol of the long-dead Peacecraft dynasty.
"Exactly, a family built upon the principle of non-violence. And what am I?"
A little confused, she looked at him without malice for the first time since she had woken up. "A Gundam pilot."
He nodded. "Yes. And wouldn't all your detractors just love it if you were seen anywhere near a soldier as famous as I am? How long do you think it would take them to vote you out of the government?"
"Not very." As much as she hated to admit it, he was making plenty of sense.
"That's why I did what I did. Because if I caused you to lose your job, I'd never be able to forgive myself."
"The job doesn't matter! I would gladly throw away my entire career and name just to be with you, Heero!" That caught him off guard. She saw the faintly stunned look in his eyes and continued. "Once, a while ago, I told you that just knowing you were alive made me happy. But now I can't say that anymore. I never realized how completely alone I was before now, and I can't go back to that."
The young soldier looked into her eyes. He could see the tears she was holding back. He remembered seeing that look on her face before, many times in the past. When her adoptive father was assassinated, when her homeland was threatened by the Romafeller Foundation...even on that day when he had washed up on the beach. He wondered if she had held back her tears for that long, and if so, how taxing it was. Heero understood fully well what it was like to deny one's emotions; he had barely escaped from Barton's "re-education" training. Thankfully, Doctor J had thrown out the inhuman regimen and told the boy to keep his heart locked up when he was on the battlefield. And right now, he was about as far as one could get from the battlefield. Without a second thought, he reached out and embraced her, pulling her head against his chest.
Relena cried into his shirt, then and there. And for the first time in nearly three years, she was truly happy.
********************
She woke up on the bed the following morning, forgetting for a minute where she was. She shook off the mental cobwebs and walked into the living room, where he was asleep on the couch again and snoring almost inaudibly. That brought a smile to her face. Slowly, carefully, she leaned down and kissed his cheek.
"...Hmm?"
She pulled away from him slightly as his eyes slowly opened. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
Heero sat up and attempted to smooth out his ruffled hair. "Don't worry, I'm a light sleeper. How are you feeling now?"
"Better than ever." She sat down next to his feet and brushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes. He sat up and looked at the wall clock, the number 7:13 glowing in faded red digits.
"Damn, I need to get you back to the hospital before your brother comes after me with a gun...or Tallgeese."
She instantly felt the warmth vanish altogether, as if she had been thrown bare naked into a snowdrift. The familiar emptiness came back with a vengeance. She stood and wandered away from the couch. "I can't."
He looked up at her retreating form. "Relena..."
"I can't!"
The harsh edge in her voice made him flinch as if he had been punched. She looked back at him with pleading eyes. "I didn't mean to yell at you, but I can't go back...to the hospital OR that way of life. If you take me back to that hospital and walk out of my life again, it'll be the same as killing me yourself."
He looked straight into her eyes. "Why? Whenever I saw you on TV, you looked like the happiest person in the Earth Sphere."
Relena looked back at the man she loved. "If you want an explanation, how about we get cleaned up and have something to eat first?" He nodded his consent and started to get up, but she pushed him back down onto the couch. "You get some more sleep. I'll take care of breakfast." A sly smile on her face, she walked out of the bedroom. Shaking his head, Heero lay back down and dozed off again. An hour and a half later, he was pulled back to consciousness by the scent of bacon emanating from the kitchen. Not wanting to deny himself a good breakfast, he rushed into the shower and got done as quickly as possible. The sight that greeted him when he finished changing and entered the kitchen area almost made him do a double take. There was Relena, setting the table, but her clothes...
He thought he had seen her pantsuit folded on the counter in the bathroom, but he passed that off as the fog of morning. Somehow, he couldn't imagine the modest Princess cooking in the nude, as much as that thought enticed him. It turned out that she wasn't wearing her suit, but she wasn't in the altogether either. She removed the apron, revealing a white button-down shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans, the latter belted tightly around her waist.
"Relena...you're..."
She turned at the sound of his voice, hands on her hips and a wry grin spreading across her face. "Are you going to stand around with your jaw slack, or do you want to eat breakfast?"
Breakfast, it turned out, was scrambled eggs and bacon with coffee for him and orange juice for her. Heero wanted to finish eating so they could have their discussion, but that thought vanished when he took a bite of the eggs. They were good...better than the ones he made whenever he made breakfast. He glanced up at her and saw pure satisfaction on her face when she tasted her own cooking. She must not get to cook often, he mused.
They finished the meal at a decent pace, and then she led him back to the living room, where they sat down on the couch. Their eyes met, and he knew that she was ready to resolve his curiosity. "Care to explain where you got the outfit?"
"Well, you didn't expect me to cook in a suit, did you? Besides, I wanted to be more casual, so I borrowed some things from the back of your closet." Relena smiled and ran a hand over the faded denim of her new jeans. "I think I could get used to this."
He fought back a smirk. "Used to what?"
"Wearing jeans, this is the first pair I've worn in my entire life."
For a minute, Heero thought she was teasing him. Then he saw the sincerity in her face and went back in his mind, remembering all the times he had seen her. She had skirts aplenty, with some pants for her suits, but this was indeed the first time he could recall seeing jeans on her.
She went on, bringing him out of his reverie. "That's also the first time in years I've actually cooked for myself or anyone else. My mother...I mean, my adoptive mother, Mrs. Darlian...taught me how to cook, but I've always had someone prepare my meals for me. And as much as I love my cook, I think those eggs tasted better than anything he ever made me."
"Well, he usually cooks out of duty as a paid servant. You did it because you wanted to make me happy, so you put real love into it and made sure I would like it."
A light laugh escaped her lips. "Well well, Heero Yuy, Zen chef? When did you become an expert on the heart of the food?"
He shrugged. "I asked Noin for some tips, since I'm more used to preparing field rations than normal meals. She said that I got the job done, but it wasn't as good as it would have been if I had a real reason to cook."
"'Anyone can fight, but if you put your heart into the battle, and then you'll shine like the brightest star.'"
There was a pause as Heero recalled that quote. "Treize said that, didn't he?"
She nodded briefly. "It was something he told Milliardo when they first met at Victoria Base. I always thought it summed up Treize's personality very well."
"Relena, about the job...what could be so horrible that you don't want to go back?"
With a sigh, she lifted herself off the couch and walked over to a nearby window, which gave her a wide view of the busy city below. "To put it simply...my heart's not in it anymore. When I started with my father's job, I hoped that I could make a difference and actually bring peace. But now..."
She sighed, then looked back at him and continued. "It's strange how one little incident can change everything. I think it all began after Dekim's failed coup d'?tat. Before that, I got lots of respect from the senators and other office-holders. But a couple of months later, it was like I had become a totally different person. The older ones who used to treat me like a granddaughter started acting like I was some airheaded little blonde intern. And the younger ones...ugh."
"If you don't want to talk about it..."
"No, I promised," she said after another sigh. "The younger ones...well, I won't mince words. They acted like I was there to grant them sexual favors. For the love of God, one of them actually tried to slip me some Rohypnol at a state dinner."
Heero's eyes narrowed at that name. "Rohypnol, the date-rape drug."
She nodded. "I only learned about it because he dropped the bottle and I picked it up while he was in the men's room. The worst part is, I couldn't report him."
He jumped up from the couch, the anger in his voice all too apparent now. "Why not?!"
"Because, as he so 'kindly' put it, my word isn't worth jack shit in the UN government nowadays. If I told people about what he did, he would have just said I was lying and everyone would believe him. The truth would have ruined me."
The dark-haired boy plopped back down onto the couch with a sigh. "How did that one incident change you from the most respected member of the government into a lame duck?"
Relena walked back over and sat down next to him. "Because I was captured so easily, it made me look like one of those fairytale princesses who constantly needs to be rescued. On top of that, Preventer, of which I was a strong supporter, was almost totally powerless. Without the Gundams, Dekim would have won."
"Preventer isn't powerless anymore. All of us except for Quatre have joined up, and we're working on ways to deal with future crises."
She looked into his eyes, and he could see the pain she had endured. At the same time, she saw a familiar look of loneliness she had worn all too often before. She made her decision; if anything was going to change, she would have to do it herself. Her hand settled on top of his and she looked into his eyes. "I think I'm ready to go back now."
His eyes showed the confusion that last comment brought to his face. "After all that, you still want to go back? But..."
She put a finger to his lips, stopping him in mid-sentence. "I plan on doing something about it. Please trust me." He nodded his approval, and she leaned in for a kiss. After they broke away, he helped her to her feet. "You're going to need to change. Something tells me that Zechs would have a heart attack if you showed up in that."
She smiled and started off for the bathroom to get her clothes, but then she stopped and looked up at him. He could see something in her eyes. "What is it?"
Trying to hold back her anxiety, she looked him in the eyes and said, "I'll need your help with this, but I don't know if you'll approve..."
He smiked. "How bad could it be?"
********************
"I see they're still talking about it."
Heero glanced up from his newspaper and saw Duo, a look of concern on his face. The braided teen was apparently indicating the front page story about the recovery of the Vice Foreign Minister's shuttle...or what was left of it, rather. Nonchalantly, the Perfect Soldier went back to the article he was reading.
"Hey, aren't you going to say something? Relena's shuttle blew up last month and all you can do is read the goddamned paper?!"
At that point, Heero stood and folded the paper. "Maxwell, you're overreacting again. Now calm down before you wet yourself."
Duo was incredulous. For ages, he had defended his friend's humanity against the accusations of people who called him a robot. But now he was even starting to doubt it himself. Maybe it was denial? Or was he trying to put on a strong face? Whatever the reason, Heero's face changed not a bit.
Just then, the phone on Heero's desk rang. He hit the speaker button. "Yes?"
A feminine voice came in through the tiny speaker, distorted by faint static. "That new recruit is here, shall I..."
"Go right ahead," he interrupted. The door opened, and in she walked. Instantly, Duo's jaw dropped. Heero simply raised his eyebrows.
She was wearing a denim jacket over a forest green halter-top, which was tucked into a denim miniskirt. Her pair of knee-high leather boots made faint thuds against the carpeting as she stepped in. Her fiery red hair gleamed in the sunlight like a polished ruby. The second her violet eyes met Heero's, a sly grin crossed her face.
"Good afternoon, Mister Yuy."
Heero nodded. "How's everything been going?"
"You can imagine how my brother tried to get me to reconsider, but Noin helped me convince him." She paused when she noticed Duo, lips moving like a goldfish's. "Gee, did I break his brain?"
With a smirk, Heero rose from his chair. "You can't break what never existed in the first place. Shall I give you the guided tour?"
Her smile broadened. "Sounds like fun."
They started out the door, but she stopped and looked back at Duo. "Five dollars says he's still like this when we get back."
"You're on."
The sounds of their friendly conversation faded down the hallway as Maxwell returned to reality. He looked at the open doorway and shook his head. "I need a drink."
********************
AUTHOR'S NOTES (again): The next four chapters of this are currently on Fanfiction.net, but if I get enough response, I'll post them here, giving you guys a sneak peek at the revised chapters.
A Shin Kidou Senshi Gundam W fanfic by Preventer Void
Chapter 1: Second Life
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the revised version of my original Codename Lightning fanfiction. Over time, I decided to go back and correct certain parts of the story that I had problems with. This includes spelling and grammatical errors, plotholes, and just parts of the story that I wanted to be different for other purposes. For now, the original version is still on Fanfiction.net, until I can finally get the inspiration to finish Chapter 6.
Personally, I rate this fic at about a PG-13 for violence, language and adult content/situations. I originally rated it an R for safety, but my friends warned me that since the yaoi fics have basically taken over FF.net's R section, I would be advised to set it as PG-13 instead. Additionally, I feel compelled to mention that later chapters make reference to other Gundam series; while knowledge of these series is not mandatory, it helps out when it comes to some of the little jokes I snuck in.
Originally, this included a disclaimer warning that yours truly is fiercely pro-Relena and would not tolerate any yaoi fangirls whining about the fact that this fic sets her and Heero up in a very intimate relationship...but for this MB, it really isn't needed. ^_^;;
********************
The noonday sun pierced its way through the curtains in the office, casting a golden reflection upon the clear brown sea in Relena Darlian's teacup. She spooned up a modest portion of sugar, poured it into her cup, and stirred it until the white cloud vanished before taking a sip. Setting the cup down, she looked at her companion.
"So, how has everyone been doing?"
Duo Maxwell looked up from the generous helping of cream he was pouring into his tea. "Oh, right. Well, let's see...Zhang and Sally have become quite the team lately."
The young diplomat smiled. "I had a feeling he would outgrow that whole 'women are weak' phase when he met someone who wouldn't take it, like Sally."
"Or you," supplied the braided boy.
"Me? Oh, please. I'd just as soon have killed him with a bobby pin."
He chuckled. "I'd pay to see that. Anyway, Quatre's doing alright, even though he says that there are days when the necktie feels like a noose around his neck."
Relena smiled and shrugged. "I can understand the sentiment. I wasn't really used to being an important government official at age 15, so he's not alone. In fact, tell him that if he needs someone to talk to about it, my doors are always open."
"I'll do just that. Meanwhile, Trowa ran into a girl he knew from his pre-Gundam days, and they've really hit it off."
"That's great. I was starting to feel sorry for him, since everybody else had someone." Instantly, her heart reminded her that her own someone had walked out two years ago and never returned. But this was about her friends, so personal gripes could wait. "Speaking of which, how are things on your side of the world?"
Smiling, Duo took a sip of his tea before replying. "She said yes."
A grin parted her face and she clapped her hands together. "That's wonderful! I hope I'll be on the guest list."
"Of course, unless you're worried about all the public exposure."
Relena shook her head. "For my friends, everything else takes a back seat."
The braided Preventer smirked at her last comment. "How about your family?"
She looked at him, concern showing on her face. "Why? Is something wrong with Milliardo?"
Her friend smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Not exactly...unless you consider the fact that he won't be getting much sleep in a few months."
"What?"
"One word: triplets."
The young woman had to keep from spitting her tea across the desk. "WHAT?! Why didn't he or Noin tell me?"
Duo shrugged. "Well, he's off at Mars with the terraforming project and he's been busy."
"I'LL say he's been busy!"
That started them laughing, and it was several minutes before either of them could speak. When they did, she couldn't keep herself from asking the question that had been on her mind for two years. "What about Heero? How's he doing?"
Here, the young Gundam pilot looked nervous. He tried to keep from looking at her and instead let his eyes wander around the room. He looked at the wide bookshelves crammed full of dusty tomes, the mahogany desk, the stylish new PC, the...
"Duo!"
His eyes snapped back to Relena, who had that look on her face. One of the things he admired most about the young princess was her tenacity; when she cared about something, she stuck to it like a pit-bull. At the moment, however, he wished she had even an ounce of bend in her. She WOULD know about the Perfect Soldier, come Hell or high water, and he would have to be the one to tell her. Sighing, he summoned up the courage to mumble an answer.
"...Heero got himself a girlfriend."
Duo braced himself for the Apocalypse. He expected it all: crying, shouting, random small objects being thrown...but instead, Relena simply looked a little wide-eyed. "Did he now? Have you met her?"
Still shaky, he nodded and continued. "Um, yeah. Girl named Claire. Works at a radio station at an L1 colony. Nice girl."
She lowered her head to stare into the waning ocean of brown inside her ceramic cup. "I'm happy for him." Her voice was level, even somewhat pleasant. But still, Duo sensed that his presence was making her uncomfortable. Rising to his feet, he thanked her for the tea and left as quietly as possible.
Relena didn't say anything for a long time. After the maid cleared away the dishes, she went back to her bedroom, closed and locked the door, and then she let his words sink in. Instantly, her legs gave out on her and she fell back against the door, slowly sliding down to the floor. The tears came, no matter how she tried to keep up her usual facade of calmness. She shivered and wrapped her arms around her body; it felt cold, even though it was July. But that didn't matter...nothing did. It was over.
She leaned against the door until the digital clock on her nightstand read 10:00. She ignored the butler when the Japanese ambassador came by for their four o'clock meeting. She ignored him when he told her she was going to miss her dinner with the President. She even ignored him when he said that her brother was coming by for his week off. None of his words reached her; she was withdrawn into her own mind, reflecting over and over again on the past four years. Finding him on the beach, dancing with him at the school, talking with him in the Kingdom, listening to his little speech before running off to fight the final battle, and finally collapsing into her arms after stopping the rebellion that following Christmas. When she leaned his head against her shoulder, she thought that everything was perfect: the feel of his soft hair on her cheek, the rhythmic beating of his heart against her chest, the warmth that spread throughout their bodies...but it wasn't. He had vanished a few days later, and the most recent time she heard about him was Duo's gossip this afternoon. He doesn't care, she told herself. You were some dreamy schoolgirl hopelessly chasing that boy, and all the time he thought of you as just a symbol, like everyone else...
She could feel the pressure building behind her eyes. The strain of her work, the careful effort to keep from slipping up and giving her detractors some ammunition against her, the feeling of giving up her youth for everyone else, and now the thought that the one person whom she thought cared didn't...it was too much. She knew that the migraine was coming, and she went to her private bathroom for aspirin. Two, four, six, eight...automatically, without thinking, she popped thirty of the small white pills into her mouth, taking a swig of water between each pair.
As she walked to her bed, she glanced to the side and saw herself in the vanity mirror on her dresser. Her hair was a tangled mess, her eyes were lined with red, and her face was flushed. Her conscience spoke to her in a familiar male voice, telling her to call the hospital. Hearing the even-toned voice, her lips twisted into a snarl and, in a sudden burst of rage, she punched the mirror, disregarding the pain that shot through her knuckles.
"Shut up! Shut the hell up! What do you know?! You're just some inhuman solider! You don't understand me at all! And I was the only one who defended you! When everyone else thought you were just some living weapon, I knew you were a human being. Well, maybe I was wrong. Maybe you ARE just some weapon! There's no way you could be human and still miss all the obvious signs I was giving out. Didn't you see?! Couldn't you tell how much I loved you? How much I cared about you? How you're the only thing that keeps me going in this miserable excuse for a life? How...how..."
She broke down again, unable to continue her tirade. The throbbing behind her eyes was growing. Without even getting undressed, she went over to her bed and laid down, falling into a fitful sleep soon after.
********************
Death, Relena thought, wasn't at all like she had suspected. There was no expanse of white clouds filled with relatives long gone. Neither was there a pit of fire and brimstone, roaring with the cries of the damned. In fact, it was more like being hung-over, except that the desire to curl up and die was much greater. She slowly emerged from oblivion with the painful realization that she was, in fact, still alive. If she had been in full control of herself, she would have noted the irony that taking large amounts of headache medicine simply made the pain in her mind worse. However, right now she only cared that she wasn't dead, despite her attempts to remedy the situation. She tried to move, but that just made her head hurt more.
When she opened her eyes, she saw that she wasn't in her mansion or a hospital, but rather in a bedroom within an unfamiliar apartment. Looking around, she took note of the fact that the furnishings were rather Spartan: the walls were eggshell white, and the only furniture was the bed upon which she lay, a dresser, and a nightstand with a lamp on it. There was a relaxing smell of lavender and vanilla, coupled with a spicy undertone that, without a doubt, marked the residence as a man's. She saw an IV machine set up next to the nightstand, the tube trailing underneath a bandage on her arm. Removing the needle, she stood and walked out the open doorway.
The living room was very similar to the bedroom, which did nothing to allay her suspicions about whose apartment she was in. It was painted the same white, and had only a couch, a couple of chairs, an end table, and a television in an oak entertainment center. She knew who lived here, as plain as if his name were scrawled on the walls in gigantic red letters. As she walked around the room, she could hear the silence of night being broken by the sound of faint snoring. She went to the couch and saw his lean form sprawled out across its length, resting soundly. As she watched him, her earlier anger returned and she had to do her best to keep from strangling him or worse, finding something sharp like a razor or a broken bottle and cutting him just to watch him bleed, to see him suffer a fraction of the pain he had given her. The young girl she had been years before was shocked at such malicious thoughts, but the woman who had lived through loss and suffering accepted them readily.
Fortunately for Heero Yuy, he sensed her presence and awoke from his light slumber before she could act on her violent fantasies. Sitting up, he looked up at Relena, who was hiding her rage behind a neutral mask. "You're up. Are you feeling better?"
Since she wouldn't show her anger, she let it out in her words. "I'd feel a lot better if I was in the hospital or the grave like I wanted. Why am I here?"
Ignoring the dark tone of her voice, he continued on. "Pagan told me that he found you in your bedroom and called the paramedics when he saw that you weren't breathing. Care to explain?"
Inwardly, the young diplomat cursed her family's aged butler for his intervention. "I have nothing to explain to you."
The brunette boy reached into the back pocket of his navy slacks and pulled out a folded piece of paper, and then carefully opened it up and read the message on it. "Then why did they have to pump your stomach to get out almost 10,000 milligrams of aspirin?"
Her violet eyes narrowed on him. "It's none of your concern."
"And why's that?"
She turned away from him, barely able to keep from screaming at him. "I thought you made things clear when you started seeing your new girlfriend."
"Oh, that."
Those two words echoed in Relena's mind until she lost all control. Spinning around, she caught him across the jaw with a right hook, staggering him and sending sharp knives of pain up her arm. When she looked at her hand, she saw the bandages that had been swaddled around it as they began turning red. She looked back to him as he stood up off the couch, a hand gingerly touching his sore cheek.
"And that...?"
She couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face as she looked into his deep blue eyes. "How can you be so totally clueless?! For the past four years, I've all but shouted my feelings for you at the top of my lungs, and you reward me by picking up some other girl? Did you expect me to be happy?!"
Heero sighed. "Relena...I'll explain, if you'll let me. Tell me why you're so famous." She answered without hesitation. "My family name." She was still frustrated with the fact that most people saw her as just a living symbol of the long-dead Peacecraft dynasty.
"Exactly, a family built upon the principle of non-violence. And what am I?"
A little confused, she looked at him without malice for the first time since she had woken up. "A Gundam pilot."
He nodded. "Yes. And wouldn't all your detractors just love it if you were seen anywhere near a soldier as famous as I am? How long do you think it would take them to vote you out of the government?"
"Not very." As much as she hated to admit it, he was making plenty of sense.
"That's why I did what I did. Because if I caused you to lose your job, I'd never be able to forgive myself."
"The job doesn't matter! I would gladly throw away my entire career and name just to be with you, Heero!" That caught him off guard. She saw the faintly stunned look in his eyes and continued. "Once, a while ago, I told you that just knowing you were alive made me happy. But now I can't say that anymore. I never realized how completely alone I was before now, and I can't go back to that."
The young soldier looked into her eyes. He could see the tears she was holding back. He remembered seeing that look on her face before, many times in the past. When her adoptive father was assassinated, when her homeland was threatened by the Romafeller Foundation...even on that day when he had washed up on the beach. He wondered if she had held back her tears for that long, and if so, how taxing it was. Heero understood fully well what it was like to deny one's emotions; he had barely escaped from Barton's "re-education" training. Thankfully, Doctor J had thrown out the inhuman regimen and told the boy to keep his heart locked up when he was on the battlefield. And right now, he was about as far as one could get from the battlefield. Without a second thought, he reached out and embraced her, pulling her head against his chest.
Relena cried into his shirt, then and there. And for the first time in nearly three years, she was truly happy.
********************
She woke up on the bed the following morning, forgetting for a minute where she was. She shook off the mental cobwebs and walked into the living room, where he was asleep on the couch again and snoring almost inaudibly. That brought a smile to her face. Slowly, carefully, she leaned down and kissed his cheek.
"...Hmm?"
She pulled away from him slightly as his eyes slowly opened. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."
Heero sat up and attempted to smooth out his ruffled hair. "Don't worry, I'm a light sleeper. How are you feeling now?"
"Better than ever." She sat down next to his feet and brushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes. He sat up and looked at the wall clock, the number 7:13 glowing in faded red digits.
"Damn, I need to get you back to the hospital before your brother comes after me with a gun...or Tallgeese."
She instantly felt the warmth vanish altogether, as if she had been thrown bare naked into a snowdrift. The familiar emptiness came back with a vengeance. She stood and wandered away from the couch. "I can't."
He looked up at her retreating form. "Relena..."
"I can't!"
The harsh edge in her voice made him flinch as if he had been punched. She looked back at him with pleading eyes. "I didn't mean to yell at you, but I can't go back...to the hospital OR that way of life. If you take me back to that hospital and walk out of my life again, it'll be the same as killing me yourself."
He looked straight into her eyes. "Why? Whenever I saw you on TV, you looked like the happiest person in the Earth Sphere."
Relena looked back at the man she loved. "If you want an explanation, how about we get cleaned up and have something to eat first?" He nodded his consent and started to get up, but she pushed him back down onto the couch. "You get some more sleep. I'll take care of breakfast." A sly smile on her face, she walked out of the bedroom. Shaking his head, Heero lay back down and dozed off again. An hour and a half later, he was pulled back to consciousness by the scent of bacon emanating from the kitchen. Not wanting to deny himself a good breakfast, he rushed into the shower and got done as quickly as possible. The sight that greeted him when he finished changing and entered the kitchen area almost made him do a double take. There was Relena, setting the table, but her clothes...
He thought he had seen her pantsuit folded on the counter in the bathroom, but he passed that off as the fog of morning. Somehow, he couldn't imagine the modest Princess cooking in the nude, as much as that thought enticed him. It turned out that she wasn't wearing her suit, but she wasn't in the altogether either. She removed the apron, revealing a white button-down shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans, the latter belted tightly around her waist.
"Relena...you're..."
She turned at the sound of his voice, hands on her hips and a wry grin spreading across her face. "Are you going to stand around with your jaw slack, or do you want to eat breakfast?"
Breakfast, it turned out, was scrambled eggs and bacon with coffee for him and orange juice for her. Heero wanted to finish eating so they could have their discussion, but that thought vanished when he took a bite of the eggs. They were good...better than the ones he made whenever he made breakfast. He glanced up at her and saw pure satisfaction on her face when she tasted her own cooking. She must not get to cook often, he mused.
They finished the meal at a decent pace, and then she led him back to the living room, where they sat down on the couch. Their eyes met, and he knew that she was ready to resolve his curiosity. "Care to explain where you got the outfit?"
"Well, you didn't expect me to cook in a suit, did you? Besides, I wanted to be more casual, so I borrowed some things from the back of your closet." Relena smiled and ran a hand over the faded denim of her new jeans. "I think I could get used to this."
He fought back a smirk. "Used to what?"
"Wearing jeans, this is the first pair I've worn in my entire life."
For a minute, Heero thought she was teasing him. Then he saw the sincerity in her face and went back in his mind, remembering all the times he had seen her. She had skirts aplenty, with some pants for her suits, but this was indeed the first time he could recall seeing jeans on her.
She went on, bringing him out of his reverie. "That's also the first time in years I've actually cooked for myself or anyone else. My mother...I mean, my adoptive mother, Mrs. Darlian...taught me how to cook, but I've always had someone prepare my meals for me. And as much as I love my cook, I think those eggs tasted better than anything he ever made me."
"Well, he usually cooks out of duty as a paid servant. You did it because you wanted to make me happy, so you put real love into it and made sure I would like it."
A light laugh escaped her lips. "Well well, Heero Yuy, Zen chef? When did you become an expert on the heart of the food?"
He shrugged. "I asked Noin for some tips, since I'm more used to preparing field rations than normal meals. She said that I got the job done, but it wasn't as good as it would have been if I had a real reason to cook."
"'Anyone can fight, but if you put your heart into the battle, and then you'll shine like the brightest star.'"
There was a pause as Heero recalled that quote. "Treize said that, didn't he?"
She nodded briefly. "It was something he told Milliardo when they first met at Victoria Base. I always thought it summed up Treize's personality very well."
"Relena, about the job...what could be so horrible that you don't want to go back?"
With a sigh, she lifted herself off the couch and walked over to a nearby window, which gave her a wide view of the busy city below. "To put it simply...my heart's not in it anymore. When I started with my father's job, I hoped that I could make a difference and actually bring peace. But now..."
She sighed, then looked back at him and continued. "It's strange how one little incident can change everything. I think it all began after Dekim's failed coup d'?tat. Before that, I got lots of respect from the senators and other office-holders. But a couple of months later, it was like I had become a totally different person. The older ones who used to treat me like a granddaughter started acting like I was some airheaded little blonde intern. And the younger ones...ugh."
"If you don't want to talk about it..."
"No, I promised," she said after another sigh. "The younger ones...well, I won't mince words. They acted like I was there to grant them sexual favors. For the love of God, one of them actually tried to slip me some Rohypnol at a state dinner."
Heero's eyes narrowed at that name. "Rohypnol, the date-rape drug."
She nodded. "I only learned about it because he dropped the bottle and I picked it up while he was in the men's room. The worst part is, I couldn't report him."
He jumped up from the couch, the anger in his voice all too apparent now. "Why not?!"
"Because, as he so 'kindly' put it, my word isn't worth jack shit in the UN government nowadays. If I told people about what he did, he would have just said I was lying and everyone would believe him. The truth would have ruined me."
The dark-haired boy plopped back down onto the couch with a sigh. "How did that one incident change you from the most respected member of the government into a lame duck?"
Relena walked back over and sat down next to him. "Because I was captured so easily, it made me look like one of those fairytale princesses who constantly needs to be rescued. On top of that, Preventer, of which I was a strong supporter, was almost totally powerless. Without the Gundams, Dekim would have won."
"Preventer isn't powerless anymore. All of us except for Quatre have joined up, and we're working on ways to deal with future crises."
She looked into his eyes, and he could see the pain she had endured. At the same time, she saw a familiar look of loneliness she had worn all too often before. She made her decision; if anything was going to change, she would have to do it herself. Her hand settled on top of his and she looked into his eyes. "I think I'm ready to go back now."
His eyes showed the confusion that last comment brought to his face. "After all that, you still want to go back? But..."
She put a finger to his lips, stopping him in mid-sentence. "I plan on doing something about it. Please trust me." He nodded his approval, and she leaned in for a kiss. After they broke away, he helped her to her feet. "You're going to need to change. Something tells me that Zechs would have a heart attack if you showed up in that."
She smiled and started off for the bathroom to get her clothes, but then she stopped and looked up at him. He could see something in her eyes. "What is it?"
Trying to hold back her anxiety, she looked him in the eyes and said, "I'll need your help with this, but I don't know if you'll approve..."
He smiked. "How bad could it be?"
********************
"I see they're still talking about it."
Heero glanced up from his newspaper and saw Duo, a look of concern on his face. The braided teen was apparently indicating the front page story about the recovery of the Vice Foreign Minister's shuttle...or what was left of it, rather. Nonchalantly, the Perfect Soldier went back to the article he was reading.
"Hey, aren't you going to say something? Relena's shuttle blew up last month and all you can do is read the goddamned paper?!"
At that point, Heero stood and folded the paper. "Maxwell, you're overreacting again. Now calm down before you wet yourself."
Duo was incredulous. For ages, he had defended his friend's humanity against the accusations of people who called him a robot. But now he was even starting to doubt it himself. Maybe it was denial? Or was he trying to put on a strong face? Whatever the reason, Heero's face changed not a bit.
Just then, the phone on Heero's desk rang. He hit the speaker button. "Yes?"
A feminine voice came in through the tiny speaker, distorted by faint static. "That new recruit is here, shall I..."
"Go right ahead," he interrupted. The door opened, and in she walked. Instantly, Duo's jaw dropped. Heero simply raised his eyebrows.
She was wearing a denim jacket over a forest green halter-top, which was tucked into a denim miniskirt. Her pair of knee-high leather boots made faint thuds against the carpeting as she stepped in. Her fiery red hair gleamed in the sunlight like a polished ruby. The second her violet eyes met Heero's, a sly grin crossed her face.
"Good afternoon, Mister Yuy."
Heero nodded. "How's everything been going?"
"You can imagine how my brother tried to get me to reconsider, but Noin helped me convince him." She paused when she noticed Duo, lips moving like a goldfish's. "Gee, did I break his brain?"
With a smirk, Heero rose from his chair. "You can't break what never existed in the first place. Shall I give you the guided tour?"
Her smile broadened. "Sounds like fun."
They started out the door, but she stopped and looked back at Duo. "Five dollars says he's still like this when we get back."
"You're on."
The sounds of their friendly conversation faded down the hallway as Maxwell returned to reality. He looked at the open doorway and shook his head. "I need a drink."
********************
AUTHOR'S NOTES (again): The next four chapters of this are currently on Fanfiction.net, but if I get enough response, I'll post them here, giving you guys a sneak peek at the revised chapters.
