Sea of Emotion 13/?
Posted: Fri May 13, 2005 5:58 pm
I'm basically catching up and all that I haven't posted here. Enjoy!
WARNING: There is implication of rape in the dialogue. It is vague, but it is there. You?ve been warned.
Disclaimer: I don?t own GW.
Sea of Emotion ? Chapter 13
By Gundam Girl
It was another day before Quatre would let Heero and Relena out of the medical ward. The young blond man had been astounded by their swimming feat, and more astounded by how their lungs hadn?t collapsed. ?It must?ve been a big breath,? he joked.
But Quatre, and no one but the two of them, would ever know the truth behind that story; the terror, the desperateness, the total need to survive. Some things took more than will or instinct. Some things took refusal to give up.
Relena had been asked by the Bregenz government to write a testimony against Treize. The sea pirate captain wasn?t really getting a trial, but there had to be something there to show just a little bit of ?compassion in the name of justice.? The colonel was willing to provide whatever it took to keep the bastard behind iron the rest of his life.
Heero had wandered off to his own room, letting her write the testimony in peace. She had told him, rather bitterly, that she had more than enough to get Treize the death penalty, but she would only write what would give him a life sentence in jail. She wanted him put away, forced to sit there and reflect on what he could have done differently.
She felt very strongly about it. And while no one had denied Zechs and Relena knowing Treize in the past, it hadn?t been said in the open either. But Heero was positive there was history there, a story untold.
And he wanted to know what it was.
The day before, she had been hot as coals one minute, eager and responsive to whatever move he made?the next, she had locked up, locked him out, as cold as ice. Part of him felt foolish for thinking that Treize had something to do with that, but another part said he was right on the mark.
Heero had seen the man, and for a second he?d even looked straight into his eyes. He wasn?t gentle. He wasn?t kind. He was smart, and Relena respected intelligence. If nothing else, that could have attracted her in the past.
Lying down on his bed, staring at the ceiling that darkened and lightened as the ship sailed beneath the water, Heero sighed. When it came down to it, right down to it, he didn?t know Relena well at all. He, on the other hand, was little more than a file in the Golden Wave?s database, ready to be read and absorbed at the press of a button. Something about that unnerved him. He felt at a disadvantage.
Glancing at the clock that told him it was getting to be evening, he knew Duo would barge in any minute, insisting he come to the bar, enjoy the drinks, enjoy the lights. Enjoy living one more day.
Heero didn?t really find the appeal in celebrating life by destroying your liver, but he thought Duo was free to do what he wanted. However, he was sure as he left his bedroom and headed down the hall, he wasn?t about to be dragged into the Way Of Maxwell.
It was when he?d reached the end of the corridor that he didn?t know where he was intending to go. The bar was the only true activity on the submarine. He supposed he could go work out and sweat as he puzzled?
Or he could just go to the source of his puzzlement. But men weren?t allowed in the women?s dormitories without invitation, and doing otherwise was (to quote Wufei) punishable with suspension or termination.
Relena being the captain?s sister, it would figure that termination would be the more likely consequence, but Heero didn?t believe he would be unwelcome. So he slipped down the hallway lined by the women?s rooms. It was mostly empty; apparently Duo had also seen to it that every female on the ship was down at the party as well.
Arriving at Relena?s door (marked by a plain plate reading ?R. Darlian?), he raised a hand to knock ? then realized it was open, just barely.
Feeling risky, he took his chances and pushed open the door, stepping side quickly and shutting it behind him.
Relena was sitting at her desk, head turned away from him and rested on her upturned palm. ?I told you, Hilde,? came her solid voice, ?I don?t feel like?? When her face was turned back, she swallowed the sentence. ?Heero.?
He smirked just slightly. ?So you don?t feel like Heero?? He took a step back, testing if he really should be here or not. ?Fine, I?ll??
?No, don?t. Don?t go. I?m?? She looked down at the sealed envelope lying in front of her. Odd, she thought, that it was so lifeless and yet it held so much meaning. ?Through with this,? she finished. She swallowed again, this time for a different reason.
Heero sensed the tears before they even appeared. ?You?ve been crying,? he stated, hearing the immense sadness in her voice. ?Why?? Without permission, he strode to her chair and dropped to his knees beside it. ?Did someone say too much about??
?No, it wasn?t something anyone said. Nobody?s joked about our?ordeal, or anything like that,? Relena insisted, satisfied with her term for near-death experience. ?I?ve just been reliving the past a bit too much for one evening.?
His eyes, serious and stern, fell to the envelope on the desk. ?Treize??
She stiffened at hearing how terse he sounded. ?Yes, some of it,? she replied quickly. In another beat she said, more quietly, ?Most of it.?
Heero thought of Noin. ?Apparently, he?s wrecked a few lives.?
?I?m not wrecked,? she retorted, the sentence almost a snap. But she was honestly too tired to snap. ?He?damaged me a bit, but I?ve mended. I?ve mended damn well.?
He didn?t say anything for a moment. He was sure that no matter how frosty she had been when they had first met, she hadn?t always been that way. After being with her, after knowing her better, she had warmed up several degrees. Certainly, she had been that kind woman for most of her life.
?Yes, you have,? he said finally in a soft voice.
Damn, Relena thought, he was sympathetic. ?Don?t treat me like that then, Heero. Don?t look at me like I?ll break any second.?
?If there weren?t tears in your eyes, I wouldn?t,? he answered honestly.
She stood up and pushed the chair out, walking over to the small window near her small bed. ?When we were young?? She paused, and then started over. ?When Milliardo ? Zechs ? and I were young, our parents died. Oh, we were old enough to take care of ourselves. I was twelve, Milliardo was fourteen. We lived with some distant relative, an aunt, for a few years, but as soon as he was seventeen, Milliardo took me from our hometown, a place just outside Paris, to Nice. He worked, I went to school. He had a job with an engineering plant. He made generally good money, enough to feed us and pay rent anyway.
?When I was eighteen, we had our first real brother-sister fight. He wanted me to go to university. I told him I wasn?t going to stay in school any longer with him working so much, so hard. He was furious. I started working, then, and our hours mixed up; he worked through the nights, while I was a waitress in the day. We stopped being able to see each other for long than twenty minutes at a time, and whenever we did speak, it was always hateful words tossed between us.?
Relena?s tongue stilled for a moment as she stared out at the sea, recalling things that had passed from her brother to her and vice versa. She smiled a little. ?We never meant anything we said, of course. After a few months, though, Milliardo couldn?t take it any longer, which was well, because neither could I. He got me a different job at his plant. He hated the thought of me being a servant to other people. He wanted me to be stronger than the obedient French women in town. He wanted me to be more, I think.?
Heero wanted to tell her she was more, so much more, but he didn?t interrupt her. She wasn?t even there with him; she was eighteen again, a girl who argued with her brother and started working for an engineering plant.
?That was when I met?Treize.? There was a discernible bitterness as she said the word. ?Milliardo had known his for at least two months. He was on the managerial staff, soon to me promoted to vice head engineer. He was shrewd, a visionary, he had ideas. He knew what he wanted to do with himself. And, as he told me after we?d been dating for a year, he saw me there.?
Heero couldn?t help himself. ?You dated?!? he exclaimed.
She only nodded and gave him a look that asked him to please let her continue. Heero shoved his hands into his pockets and fell silent.
?He saw me there with him in every vision. He wanted to go to sea. He had already had a ship built, a classic submarine of metal of and wood. He?s a very traditional person. At first, I was delighted, ready to tell him yes. And then he told me what he wanted to do.
?Prove himself, be stronger than the rest, better than the rest. That was what he described it as, when what he wanted to do was nothing more than simple pirating. Stealing, cheating, lying, even killing. ?If it became necessary.? He said that so much. He would do something bad?if it became necessary. He had bought?he asked me to marry him and go to work with him as his wife. And I?I thought about it. I wore the ring without giving him an answer for nearly a week. As for Milliardo, the thought that I might marry his friend made him exuberantly happy. But he knew nothing of what else he wanted to do, besides go to the sea. Milliardo had wanted to do that as well, so? But then the week came about, and Treize demanded a final answer from me.
?I told him I wouldn?t. Wouldn?t marry him, wouldn?t be a thief with him. But he?he had been so sure that I would agree and be his and be whatever he wanted me to be. So,? she continued, her voice little more than a whisper now, ?he got angry. He raged. And he wouldn?t take no for an answer. He had never loved me, not for me. But he had certainly wanted me.?
?Wanted,? repeated Heero, enunciating it because he got a horrible feeling about the word. ?You?you mean??
?Sexually.? There was a small bite to the way she said it. ?And he felt he was going to have just whatever he wanted. So he came for it. He attacked me before I could even guess his intention. But we were in his apartment, a grand place in Nice. His neighbor was a policeman, a big one. He busted in and stopped Treize; actually threw him against the wall. I was hurt. So he called an ambulance, too. And my brother.?
She took a deep breath. ?Unfortunately, the police in France weren?t very good about attempters of rape at the time, so Treize got off with a warning because he didn?t actually do it. And then he became the pirate Treize Khushrenada, marrying Anne Une, who had also worked at the same goddamn plant. Milliardo, furious again, begged me to come with him on his own sea excursion, as a bounty hunter.
?I? I didn?t want to stay anywhere by myself, so I did. And this place, this ship, became our home. It?s been that way ever since. Milliardo had been trying to get Treize down for eight years ? and the day before yesterday, he finally did.? She looked at her listener. ?Thanks to you.?
?Relena.? Heero?s fists were shaking in his pockets. Were there any words to properly reply to that tale with? He doubted ?I hate Treize? was suitable enough. ?I had no idea. I didn?t??
?No one does.? Relena?s eyes were filled with trust, but wariness as well. ?You are the first person on this entire ship who knows the truth about why Milliardo and I are on here, Heero. There?s never been anyone I wanted to know before.? She hesitated. ?I don?t think there?s any reason for me to say this, but please??
?It all stays here,? Yuy promised. ?Every word. I won?t tell anyone, Relena.?
She stood there, watching him from the window with one hand resting on the thin sill. Her gaze was so very soft as she studied his own eyes. Whatever she saw there, Heero realized, must have comforted her a bit, because she stepped over to him and wrapped her arms about him. He wasted no time in returning the embrace.
?Being with him again was something that wore me out, Heero. I?m sorry for being so?exhausted.?
She was apologizing for being emotionally tired. Somehow, that didn?t seem something that was abnormal to Relena?s behavior. Heero forced a smile. ?I?m the one who shoved you into the water.?
She returned to the slightly happy expression, and then her face grew serious again. ?Being with him again did something else to me too, Heero.? Slowly, she rose on her toes, letting her eyes drift close and pressed her lips to his.
It made me realize that I love you.
But she didn?t say it. Wouldn?t. She?d just revealed every important detail about herself to this man who was currently holding her. For now?at least for now, she wanted one secret, one card to hold close to her chest. To her heart.
Heat flared inside of him. Her fingertips brushed across the back of his neck and he inhaled sharply through his nose as he kissed her. ?Relena??
She took a small step back. ?I need something from you. I need you to give it willingly.?
His eyes, he was sure, were less than focused. He watched through a haze as she unbuttoned the cuffs of her uniform shirt. He spoke like he was hypnotized, but every syllable was sincere. ?Anything you want.?
Her eyes landed on his, and suddenly he was fully alert, completely tuned in to whatever she did or said.
Relena?s voice trembled only slightly as she responded. ?I need you.?
Heero took a step forward, then another and another until she was close enough again to where he could help her undo the buttons on her shirt. She responded by taking the hem of his T-shirt and lifting it over his head, tossing it carelessly to the floor.
When she was free of the shirt and wore only a bra on her torso, Heero?s eyes roamed over her ? until they stopped on her stomach and he saw the mark.
Five scratches, deep where they began at the top in tiny crescent shapes, and nearly six inches down her abdomen, thinning out at the bottom. Human scratch marks; one for each finger on one hand.
?I was hurt. So he called an ambulance, too.?
Heero?s eyes whipped up to hers. ?Treize.?
Blinking rapidly, she nodded. ?Please, don?t look at it.? She pressed against him. ?Don?t think about him or what he did anymore. Think about me. Just me.?
He ran a hand over her hair and thought of her. Heero thought only of her for the rest of the night as they learned each other, inside and out.
And, Heero discovered later, when she lay sleeping at his side on her small bed in the dark, he wanted to learn everything about her. And when he knew all?be the only one to ever do so.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apologies for the shorter length of this chapter compared to the other ones. I thought this was a good place to stop for this one. Review please!
WARNING: There is implication of rape in the dialogue. It is vague, but it is there. You?ve been warned.
Disclaimer: I don?t own GW.
Sea of Emotion ? Chapter 13
By Gundam Girl
It was another day before Quatre would let Heero and Relena out of the medical ward. The young blond man had been astounded by their swimming feat, and more astounded by how their lungs hadn?t collapsed. ?It must?ve been a big breath,? he joked.
But Quatre, and no one but the two of them, would ever know the truth behind that story; the terror, the desperateness, the total need to survive. Some things took more than will or instinct. Some things took refusal to give up.
Relena had been asked by the Bregenz government to write a testimony against Treize. The sea pirate captain wasn?t really getting a trial, but there had to be something there to show just a little bit of ?compassion in the name of justice.? The colonel was willing to provide whatever it took to keep the bastard behind iron the rest of his life.
Heero had wandered off to his own room, letting her write the testimony in peace. She had told him, rather bitterly, that she had more than enough to get Treize the death penalty, but she would only write what would give him a life sentence in jail. She wanted him put away, forced to sit there and reflect on what he could have done differently.
She felt very strongly about it. And while no one had denied Zechs and Relena knowing Treize in the past, it hadn?t been said in the open either. But Heero was positive there was history there, a story untold.
And he wanted to know what it was.
The day before, she had been hot as coals one minute, eager and responsive to whatever move he made?the next, she had locked up, locked him out, as cold as ice. Part of him felt foolish for thinking that Treize had something to do with that, but another part said he was right on the mark.
Heero had seen the man, and for a second he?d even looked straight into his eyes. He wasn?t gentle. He wasn?t kind. He was smart, and Relena respected intelligence. If nothing else, that could have attracted her in the past.
Lying down on his bed, staring at the ceiling that darkened and lightened as the ship sailed beneath the water, Heero sighed. When it came down to it, right down to it, he didn?t know Relena well at all. He, on the other hand, was little more than a file in the Golden Wave?s database, ready to be read and absorbed at the press of a button. Something about that unnerved him. He felt at a disadvantage.
Glancing at the clock that told him it was getting to be evening, he knew Duo would barge in any minute, insisting he come to the bar, enjoy the drinks, enjoy the lights. Enjoy living one more day.
Heero didn?t really find the appeal in celebrating life by destroying your liver, but he thought Duo was free to do what he wanted. However, he was sure as he left his bedroom and headed down the hall, he wasn?t about to be dragged into the Way Of Maxwell.
It was when he?d reached the end of the corridor that he didn?t know where he was intending to go. The bar was the only true activity on the submarine. He supposed he could go work out and sweat as he puzzled?
Or he could just go to the source of his puzzlement. But men weren?t allowed in the women?s dormitories without invitation, and doing otherwise was (to quote Wufei) punishable with suspension or termination.
Relena being the captain?s sister, it would figure that termination would be the more likely consequence, but Heero didn?t believe he would be unwelcome. So he slipped down the hallway lined by the women?s rooms. It was mostly empty; apparently Duo had also seen to it that every female on the ship was down at the party as well.
Arriving at Relena?s door (marked by a plain plate reading ?R. Darlian?), he raised a hand to knock ? then realized it was open, just barely.
Feeling risky, he took his chances and pushed open the door, stepping side quickly and shutting it behind him.
Relena was sitting at her desk, head turned away from him and rested on her upturned palm. ?I told you, Hilde,? came her solid voice, ?I don?t feel like?? When her face was turned back, she swallowed the sentence. ?Heero.?
He smirked just slightly. ?So you don?t feel like Heero?? He took a step back, testing if he really should be here or not. ?Fine, I?ll??
?No, don?t. Don?t go. I?m?? She looked down at the sealed envelope lying in front of her. Odd, she thought, that it was so lifeless and yet it held so much meaning. ?Through with this,? she finished. She swallowed again, this time for a different reason.
Heero sensed the tears before they even appeared. ?You?ve been crying,? he stated, hearing the immense sadness in her voice. ?Why?? Without permission, he strode to her chair and dropped to his knees beside it. ?Did someone say too much about??
?No, it wasn?t something anyone said. Nobody?s joked about our?ordeal, or anything like that,? Relena insisted, satisfied with her term for near-death experience. ?I?ve just been reliving the past a bit too much for one evening.?
His eyes, serious and stern, fell to the envelope on the desk. ?Treize??
She stiffened at hearing how terse he sounded. ?Yes, some of it,? she replied quickly. In another beat she said, more quietly, ?Most of it.?
Heero thought of Noin. ?Apparently, he?s wrecked a few lives.?
?I?m not wrecked,? she retorted, the sentence almost a snap. But she was honestly too tired to snap. ?He?damaged me a bit, but I?ve mended. I?ve mended damn well.?
He didn?t say anything for a moment. He was sure that no matter how frosty she had been when they had first met, she hadn?t always been that way. After being with her, after knowing her better, she had warmed up several degrees. Certainly, she had been that kind woman for most of her life.
?Yes, you have,? he said finally in a soft voice.
Damn, Relena thought, he was sympathetic. ?Don?t treat me like that then, Heero. Don?t look at me like I?ll break any second.?
?If there weren?t tears in your eyes, I wouldn?t,? he answered honestly.
She stood up and pushed the chair out, walking over to the small window near her small bed. ?When we were young?? She paused, and then started over. ?When Milliardo ? Zechs ? and I were young, our parents died. Oh, we were old enough to take care of ourselves. I was twelve, Milliardo was fourteen. We lived with some distant relative, an aunt, for a few years, but as soon as he was seventeen, Milliardo took me from our hometown, a place just outside Paris, to Nice. He worked, I went to school. He had a job with an engineering plant. He made generally good money, enough to feed us and pay rent anyway.
?When I was eighteen, we had our first real brother-sister fight. He wanted me to go to university. I told him I wasn?t going to stay in school any longer with him working so much, so hard. He was furious. I started working, then, and our hours mixed up; he worked through the nights, while I was a waitress in the day. We stopped being able to see each other for long than twenty minutes at a time, and whenever we did speak, it was always hateful words tossed between us.?
Relena?s tongue stilled for a moment as she stared out at the sea, recalling things that had passed from her brother to her and vice versa. She smiled a little. ?We never meant anything we said, of course. After a few months, though, Milliardo couldn?t take it any longer, which was well, because neither could I. He got me a different job at his plant. He hated the thought of me being a servant to other people. He wanted me to be stronger than the obedient French women in town. He wanted me to be more, I think.?
Heero wanted to tell her she was more, so much more, but he didn?t interrupt her. She wasn?t even there with him; she was eighteen again, a girl who argued with her brother and started working for an engineering plant.
?That was when I met?Treize.? There was a discernible bitterness as she said the word. ?Milliardo had known his for at least two months. He was on the managerial staff, soon to me promoted to vice head engineer. He was shrewd, a visionary, he had ideas. He knew what he wanted to do with himself. And, as he told me after we?d been dating for a year, he saw me there.?
Heero couldn?t help himself. ?You dated?!? he exclaimed.
She only nodded and gave him a look that asked him to please let her continue. Heero shoved his hands into his pockets and fell silent.
?He saw me there with him in every vision. He wanted to go to sea. He had already had a ship built, a classic submarine of metal of and wood. He?s a very traditional person. At first, I was delighted, ready to tell him yes. And then he told me what he wanted to do.
?Prove himself, be stronger than the rest, better than the rest. That was what he described it as, when what he wanted to do was nothing more than simple pirating. Stealing, cheating, lying, even killing. ?If it became necessary.? He said that so much. He would do something bad?if it became necessary. He had bought?he asked me to marry him and go to work with him as his wife. And I?I thought about it. I wore the ring without giving him an answer for nearly a week. As for Milliardo, the thought that I might marry his friend made him exuberantly happy. But he knew nothing of what else he wanted to do, besides go to the sea. Milliardo had wanted to do that as well, so? But then the week came about, and Treize demanded a final answer from me.
?I told him I wouldn?t. Wouldn?t marry him, wouldn?t be a thief with him. But he?he had been so sure that I would agree and be his and be whatever he wanted me to be. So,? she continued, her voice little more than a whisper now, ?he got angry. He raged. And he wouldn?t take no for an answer. He had never loved me, not for me. But he had certainly wanted me.?
?Wanted,? repeated Heero, enunciating it because he got a horrible feeling about the word. ?You?you mean??
?Sexually.? There was a small bite to the way she said it. ?And he felt he was going to have just whatever he wanted. So he came for it. He attacked me before I could even guess his intention. But we were in his apartment, a grand place in Nice. His neighbor was a policeman, a big one. He busted in and stopped Treize; actually threw him against the wall. I was hurt. So he called an ambulance, too. And my brother.?
She took a deep breath. ?Unfortunately, the police in France weren?t very good about attempters of rape at the time, so Treize got off with a warning because he didn?t actually do it. And then he became the pirate Treize Khushrenada, marrying Anne Une, who had also worked at the same goddamn plant. Milliardo, furious again, begged me to come with him on his own sea excursion, as a bounty hunter.
?I? I didn?t want to stay anywhere by myself, so I did. And this place, this ship, became our home. It?s been that way ever since. Milliardo had been trying to get Treize down for eight years ? and the day before yesterday, he finally did.? She looked at her listener. ?Thanks to you.?
?Relena.? Heero?s fists were shaking in his pockets. Were there any words to properly reply to that tale with? He doubted ?I hate Treize? was suitable enough. ?I had no idea. I didn?t??
?No one does.? Relena?s eyes were filled with trust, but wariness as well. ?You are the first person on this entire ship who knows the truth about why Milliardo and I are on here, Heero. There?s never been anyone I wanted to know before.? She hesitated. ?I don?t think there?s any reason for me to say this, but please??
?It all stays here,? Yuy promised. ?Every word. I won?t tell anyone, Relena.?
She stood there, watching him from the window with one hand resting on the thin sill. Her gaze was so very soft as she studied his own eyes. Whatever she saw there, Heero realized, must have comforted her a bit, because she stepped over to him and wrapped her arms about him. He wasted no time in returning the embrace.
?Being with him again was something that wore me out, Heero. I?m sorry for being so?exhausted.?
She was apologizing for being emotionally tired. Somehow, that didn?t seem something that was abnormal to Relena?s behavior. Heero forced a smile. ?I?m the one who shoved you into the water.?
She returned to the slightly happy expression, and then her face grew serious again. ?Being with him again did something else to me too, Heero.? Slowly, she rose on her toes, letting her eyes drift close and pressed her lips to his.
It made me realize that I love you.
But she didn?t say it. Wouldn?t. She?d just revealed every important detail about herself to this man who was currently holding her. For now?at least for now, she wanted one secret, one card to hold close to her chest. To her heart.
Heat flared inside of him. Her fingertips brushed across the back of his neck and he inhaled sharply through his nose as he kissed her. ?Relena??
She took a small step back. ?I need something from you. I need you to give it willingly.?
His eyes, he was sure, were less than focused. He watched through a haze as she unbuttoned the cuffs of her uniform shirt. He spoke like he was hypnotized, but every syllable was sincere. ?Anything you want.?
Her eyes landed on his, and suddenly he was fully alert, completely tuned in to whatever she did or said.
Relena?s voice trembled only slightly as she responded. ?I need you.?
Heero took a step forward, then another and another until she was close enough again to where he could help her undo the buttons on her shirt. She responded by taking the hem of his T-shirt and lifting it over his head, tossing it carelessly to the floor.
When she was free of the shirt and wore only a bra on her torso, Heero?s eyes roamed over her ? until they stopped on her stomach and he saw the mark.
Five scratches, deep where they began at the top in tiny crescent shapes, and nearly six inches down her abdomen, thinning out at the bottom. Human scratch marks; one for each finger on one hand.
?I was hurt. So he called an ambulance, too.?
Heero?s eyes whipped up to hers. ?Treize.?
Blinking rapidly, she nodded. ?Please, don?t look at it.? She pressed against him. ?Don?t think about him or what he did anymore. Think about me. Just me.?
He ran a hand over her hair and thought of her. Heero thought only of her for the rest of the night as they learned each other, inside and out.
And, Heero discovered later, when she lay sleeping at his side on her small bed in the dark, he wanted to learn everything about her. And when he knew all?be the only one to ever do so.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apologies for the shorter length of this chapter compared to the other ones. I thought this was a good place to stop for this one. Review please!
Keep it up!!