Slavery of the Heart 1/?
Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:12 pm
Slavery of the Heart
By Ally Lei
Summary: A girl, to save her love's life, sells him into slavery. Now he is back this time they are going by his rules and all he wants is revenge and her. But what if they are caught up, again, in the game of deceit that destroyed their love. (AU) HxR
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, its names, or characters
(Heck I don't even own a tape or DVD of the show)
?So where exactly are we headin??? a boy?s voice cracked next to me.
I allowed myself a small smile at the boy?s curiosity. Jakkin had an enthusiasm and curiosity for life that I had admired since the time I first met him, which was about three years ago when I saved him from being executed for spilling juice on a noble?s daughter. He still believes he has to pay his debt to me. Without turning to him I adopted an air of loftiness and replied.
?We will go were ever our paths take us.? my words turned sardonic, ?Or in our case where ever the next client is.?
?There is no ?next client?
This time I did turn to him. We were both astride dune horses so it was rather hard. Jakkin was about fourteen years old and was just now starting to turn into a man. His voice was currently cracking when ever he spoke and he had the lanky awkwardness of a boy who had yet to grow and fill out. He also ate like a horse. We had to accept a sand donkey as a gift from one of my clients just so we could carry enough food for him to eat!
Jakkin was a prostitute?s get and was sold into slavery at an early age. He has no clue who his father is and has vague memories of his mother. He claims from those memories that compared to today?s standard of beauty his mother was rather plain. I don?t put a lot of credit to his words because he is quite handsome for a boy. As do all Sunnsand people, he had a head full of thick, curly dark hair. His skin was tanned but didn?t have the weathered look that so many in the south carried. His cheekbones and black eyes were almost feminine but he had a good strong jaw and heavyset eyebrows. His form was lanky but spoke that with proper nourishment and training he would become a powerful man.
?What do you mean there are no clients requesting my presence to dance? They are always clients wanting me to sword dance so they can place bets and when I win they make money off those bets.? A slight conceited I know but I had yet to come across a rival that could beat me in a fight.
Jakkin gave me a frosty glance but replied.
?You have been working yourself too hard for the past eight months. I felt that you deserved a break and declined every offer from the nobles. And before you protest I told them that you would like a chance to go home and visit with your family. Almost all of them immediately agreed with me and left.? I was a bit surprised he would do that because Jakkin was a very kind hearted boy and wouldn?t do anything without telling me first. Apparently, though, Jakkin also had mother hen syndrome if he felt I wasn?t get enough of this or that he would do it himself.
?You told them I was going to visit my family?! Why would you do that? Are you purposely trying to torture me?? I thought of yelling at the boy but that would only shut him up, leaving me to try to unsuccessfully pump information.
?Like I said you have been pushing yourself to hard and could use this time as a welcome break. I know I could.? he added.
I glared at him but didn?t say anything. Facing forward I contemplated what I could do. It was still early morning. Cool enough that we could ride without using the suncloaks to shade us from the sun, and for the dune horses to canter a bit. We could reach the next town at the end of the day if we did that. Maybe I could leave Jakkin there and disappear leaving him with a note to travel on to my brothers with my sincere apologies I couldn?t come.
?Before you start trying to conjure up an escape plan let me remind you of something.? he turned to me, ?You haven?t been home in three years! You promised your brother you would visit him every year or so. If you don?t visit him soon he is going to look for us and when he finds us both you and I will be in BIG trouble. He is scary enough without having him breathing down my neck and yelling at me!?
I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. Jakkin tends to over exaggerate and blabber a lot. He wouldn?t be punished. Would he? Now that I think about it I wouldn?t put it passed my brother. He is quite terrifying when you don?t know his sequence of moods and how to deal with them. Calm, disbelief, anger, and rage. Those are the only moods he is ever in. Just ignore him and you will do fine. I?ve been doing it for years and I?m still alive.
?You will not get in trouble.? I said firmly.
?Yes, I will. You brother made me promise when he met me, to make sure you didn?t get into trouble and also to make sure you don?t skip out on your duties. Meaning you had better visit your family. He said that I would be punished if-?he was cut off.
?You will not get in trouble, I promise.?
He looked at me in relief. I could tell he was scared I wouldn?t listen to him. With that admission though I had silently agreed to visit my family and he knew it. I wondered at how close we had become in three years. It usually takes me a year or so to open up and even then I wouldn?t trust them with my life. It has only happened once before and the out come was painful for both parties.
?It seems I will forever be in your debt.?
I sighed a bit when I heard that. It seemed to be his favorite saying.
I glanced at him.
He was so serious. Sitting on his mount with his hand resting lightly on the pommel and the other on his sword hilt you could have mistaken him for a full grown adult from his expression. Ah, little one, you will never believe that you have paid your debt to me and then some in companionship and friendship.
We were traveling on an old donkey path that led form one town (where we came from, and now a day away) to another (where we are heading and a day away). The towns don?t have names so you have to remember where they are on a mental map with landmarks. Cities though have enormously long names. It is like they are trying to make up for the lack of town names.
Speaking of towns and debts I owe one to Old Man Moon at home. I blinked in shock. I had not referred to my hometown as my home in years. They say home is where they welcome you. I am not welcomed in my hometown that much. All because of a mistake and rash action. Those who were even good friends with me now speak to me frostily. Everyone acts civil towards me because they have to or else they have a few words with my brother resulting in taxes being raised.
See I was the young and naive daughter to a Lord (my father). I really could do no wrong. I know that is egotistical but I couldn?t. I didn?t believe in making mistakes and always tried to do the right thing. It seemed that everyone loved me and wanted to make me happy. Maybe that is what got me into this mess in the first place...
I felt my face turn mournful. My sky colored eyes turning glassy with tears and my lips forming a small pout. To turn my attention elsewhere, I observed our surroundings.
There was not a single cloud in the sky and a breeze was blowing by. Turning up sand but keeping it away from our eyes since we were facing downwind. It was hot, almost unbearably so. We would soon have to bring out the sun cloaks to protect our skin from being sun burnt. Then there was the desert, endless miles of sand. As far as the eye can see and then some was covered in sand. There were oasis and wells but you had to know where they where at to find them. This whole country is made up of sand!
This is why it is called Sunnsand. Oh ha ha! Our ancient ancestors were so clever. So full of wisdom they decided to settle in a desert of all forsaken places! Though they did settle near The River, the one river in the land that was so big you couldn?t see the other side in some places. And there really was some wisdom in settling the desert because not many enemies are going to invade a desert just to take over a desert. It would be kind of stupid wouldn?t?
?.
I wish some of that wisdom was passed onto me. I could have really used it well.
I felt the sun beating down on my skin and knew I should put my suncloak but I couldn?t bring myself to do it. It wasn?t until Jakkin broke my reverie to comment that we should bring out the cloaks. I did but it was more of an automatic move than even a half-hearted attempt. I couldn?t help it. I was stuck in the past.
~*~
When I first met him I was ten years old and him, thirteen. As said before I was well loved and a very happy child. But that day, that glorious and terrible day when I met him, I saw something that would begin to shatter my innocence.
While coming back from the market because it looked as if it would downpour soon, I waved to the passers and imagined my father?s reaction to the gift I had just bought him for his birthday. I was excited and couldn?t wait for the dinner party tonight when I would present him his gift. He would open right in the middle of the room, in front of all the guests, and then he would smile down at me and say it was just what he wanted for his birthday and that he couldn?t ask for a better gift or a better daughter.
I loved my father tremendously. I loved how he always kept his cool and was conservative, he didn?t value wealth and he had very few personal slaves (of which I was grateful).
The guard at the gate let me in with a question of how well my shopping went. I told him that it was wonderful and I had found father the perfect gift. The guard smiled down at me, I guess because of my excitement. He informed me that my brother had asked to see me when I came back to discuss an important topic. I smiled; I knew my brother wanted to talk about my behavior during the party. He was always worrying about making an impression.
I thanked Brekk, which was his name (I was on first name basis with all of the staff much to the disapproval of my brother), and went through the wrought-iron gate.
The estate was a beautiful building. Built with sand and clay bricks its color was a reddish tan; there were also pathways made of the same bricks leading from the gardens, which were just inside the gate. They also led to the stables and the college. The path through the gardens went straight through them but there were pathways leading off into the gardens. I would normally take these and wonder through them until someone was sent to find and clean me up for supper, but today I had a mission.
From the gardens, the path led to the courtyard which in turn led to the front steps of the great mansion. The building towered over me with towers on all of the corners and two above the main door. Many windows faced the front overlooking the courtyard, gardens, and some, the town (these also looked over the gardens and courtyard). I had managed to obtain the suite of rooms in one of the tallest towers on the mansion, one of the two towers above the front door. I had the best view of the courtyard, gardens, and the town from up there. My destination was the room right next to mine in the other tower above the door: my brother?s room.
Hopping up the steps and skipping through the front door I was stopped by the bustle going on inside. Almost all of the servants were scurrying around the room tidying up a bouquet, dusting off a table, mopping the marble floor, and many other jobs for the party. Some of them smiled at me but most of them ignored me, too intent on the job at hand which was fine with me. I would rather be ignored then taken somewhere to be groomed and dressed in the stuffiest dress imaginable.
I avoided all of the workers and managed to reach the marble staircase to the right of the door without any incidents. The great stained glass window above the front door shed colored light everywhere making you think that you were in another world. A very weird one too. The window and the old, grand chandelier above the Great Hall was the pride of the Peacecraft family. I especially liked it because the crystals hanging form the chandelier caught the light from the window and sprinkled the colors all over the marble hall. One of my favorite games was to try to avoid the little dots by stepping on a larger colored space.
I raced up the steps and turned right down a hallway lined with pictures of my ancestors until I came upon another stair way except not as grand as the main one. I climbed the stairs but stopped two floors up and in between the third and fourth floor. On the wall was a sconce that lit up the stairway like all of the others. This one, though, served a dual purpose; if the small golden knob on the bottom of the sconce was twisted 180 degrees and then the sconce was turned onto its side a panel will open on the opposite wall.
Very useful and very secretive. My mother was very paranoid and she cajoled my father into building a secret passage way that led up to our private chambers. We even had ?play? rooms where all of our toys and some clothes were stored to make it look like we actually lived in them so no one would become suspicious and go looking for where we actually sleep. Also, a most trusted servant would sleep in the bed to make it appear that we were actually there. The plan was very elaborate and had many details yet was way too unreasonable for someone who was well loved by their land owners.
After looking around and making sure that no one was there I twisted the knob and turned the sconce. The panel behind me whooshed up and I caught a waft of mildew. The hallway behind the panel led to the far left side and then up a small staircase to the top of the mansion. There was nothing to extraordinary about the hallway or the stairway. The walls were an off white color from age and the red carpet beneath my feet matted down and smelled, hence the mildew smell. No pictures or anything lined the walls except the standard sconces seen through out the house. Occasionally I could here people in other rooms talking, laughing, and arguing. I passed on level were I could here thumping, as if a headboard was hitting the wall or some one was punching it in rapid succession. I wonder what was going on in there.
I finally reached the top and was greeted with sounds of grunting and metal slicing through the air only to come to a stop with the loud thud of a sword hitting a practice post. Someone was practicing their swordsmanship and I bet I know who it is. I smiled at the thought of watching my brother practice; I greatly wanted to learn how to use a sword and my brother has taught me some easy defensive moves but no more than that. He says that I should be ladylike and a lady does not use a sword. I was really tempted to use a vulgar word I had heard around the soldiers? barracks when he said that but contained myself. It would not be good to say anything ?unladylike? in front of him when there was still a chance of convincing him to teach me some more.
The top floor was technically an attic and all of the servants, slaves, guards, soldiers, and guests thought that it was. But it wasn?t. The first door on the left opened up into father?s office. I have never been in there but my brother has; to learn how to run things around the estate. Farther down the hall and to the left was a door that led to a private indoor training room and a collection of weapons of old. The right sides had four rooms and in order from the first you see to all the way down the hall are: the private library, my room, my brother?s room, my mother?s room. My father used to sleep up here too, in his office (except it wasn?t an office back then), but when mother died he packed up and moved all of his stuff elsewhere. I really had no clue were he slept. I was greatly tempted to do the same because mother?s death cast a shadow on the whole level and I tried not to stay up here long during the day.
I tiptoed to the training room?s door and slid it open quietly so there was a slit to see through. My brother was an unusually tall person; standing six feet and four inches he towered over the regular five feet and ten inches of the Sunnsand males. An endowment from mother?s bloodline. Another odd feature was his hair, he had long blond hair and while I had the same, my hair was a darker shade than his almost white head. Yes, we were half breeds. Father married mother when he was really young and traveling the land to obtain deals, alliances, and other things newly-made Lords do. He met her on the border of Sunnsand and Coldsnow, the only place where the temperature was not in the extremes. My father fell in love with my mother so much that he married her, much to the disapproval of other nobles. When my mother died Father changed, he still loved us but he seemed to be more aloof and cool toward us. The change had hurt me greatly but eventually I understood that it was his way of coping with the loss.
My brother just took it with utmost respect and coolness that was expected of him and a Lord?s son. Out of the two of us, he was always more rational and logical than me. He gained the troops? respect by going through their training and more. He trained and pushed his body just as hard as our elite soldiers and guards did to theirs. He had the best tutors in the land and led our small legion into battles against attacking river pirate/raiders only to come out victorious. Even now when he had more responsibilities at home he still trained and practiced.
His sword winked at me as it sliced through the air on a complicated maneuver. Balance perfect he completed his practice period with grace and speed, going in for the kill of an imaginary opponent, he faked left then quickly swung right only to change directions again right in the center of the swing to slice upwards effectively cut his opponents throat. All of this was accomplished while looking like an elaborate dance. How I envied him for being able to use a sword. I wanted so much to just feel the weight of my sword whistling through the air while I was in a calm peaceful state. Oh, how I wanted to?
?Come out already Lena, I know you are there. I saw the door move while practicing.? my brother?s deep voice rumbled through the air.
I blinked in surprise. I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I didn?t notice him walking over to the sword rack on the other side of the room to put his sword away and then walk back to the center of the room with a small towel. He now stood looking at the door while wiping sweat off his neck.
Rule #1: Pay attention to your surroundings.
I sheepishly opened the door and stepped onto the hardwood floor in the room. White paneled wall surrounded the room with very few adornments on them. The only ones was a bull?s eye and sword rack along with a towel rack. Light filtered through windows along the far side wall.
?I got back form shopping.? I said, ?I think Father will really like what I got him?
I saw an unidentifiable emotion pass across his face?
?Oh really, what did you get him this time?? my brother questioned in a teasing tone.
I quickly got out a small package from my cloak pocket. Unraveling it revealed a plain box.
?You got him a box?? his voce had laughter in it now. I glared at him and retorted:
?No, Zechs, the present is in he box you idiot.?
And to prove my statement I opened the box to show him. Inside rested a small boot knife. It was relatively simple with a small ruby at the end of the hilt laid in gold-plated metal. Yet because of the simplness and usefulness it seemed to have a dignified aura. Zechs took the knife and laid the edge on his thumb. It sliced through his skin easily letting a small line of blood bead up. He sucked his thumb then placed his forefinger out to rest the knife on it. The knife balanced perfectly after a little of wobbling.
?Well it seems you were right sister. This is a very good present.? I smiled here. ?Perfect balance. A keen edge. Tell me where did you get this. I might like one of my own.?
I grinned up at him in my childish mischief.
?I?m not telling. You?ll just have to wait for your birthday.? I impishly said.
My brother gave a mock sigh of distress and mumbled ?I guess I will?. After having said that he turned serious and I knew this is what he wanted to talk about.
?I would like to talk to you about your behavior for tonight. I know you know the rules so I?m just going to be brief. One- Stay where there are plenty of guest and everyone can see you, Two- do not accept anything from suspicious looking people, Three- mind your manners, and Four- DO NOT go into any corners with boys.? I snorted at the last one. I was ten years old, not many boys were interested in me.
?I know, Zechs? I sounded like a young child I know but they were the exact same rules as last time and the time before that too.
My brother reveled in my grumpiness. Turning back into a smiling teenager he spoke the words I dreaded to hear:
?Go get cleaned up and dressed for the party. I bought you a new dress that should be lying on your bed.?
I groaned and sullenly turned towards the door to shuffle out. I was out the door and in the hallway when I saw my Father. I smiled and said hello to him expecting a response back. Only I didn?t get a response. He passed by me in a furious daze without a glance. I was a little put off by that but rationalized that he had a lot on his mind with the party and all. I was just at my doorway when I remembered that Zechs had never given back Father?s Knife. I raced back to the training room hoping to demand it from him. As I neared the door I heard shouting. The voices sounded like my brother and Father, and they sounded mad. I could hear voices but couldn?t understand them until I opened the door to see what was going on.
They were standing in the middle of the room facing each other. In my brother?s hand was a sword, no doubt after I left he started practicing again. He had the sword pointed at Father and was furiously shouting as my father stood three feet away from him watching him red-faced.
?-I don?t care what you think about her. I invited her so I?ll take responsibility.? That was my brother.
?I don?t want to see our good name ruined because some money wanting whore bewitched my son!? Father shouted right back at him.
?She?s not a whore and you know it! And if you were really worried about our name you shouldn?t have married Mother!? I had never seen my brother defend a person much less a girl. I wonder who she is. What was with that comment about Mother?
?You know what I think?! I think you are afraid that now I am becoming a man and planning on getting married-?
I stifled a gasp. When had this happened!?! Zechs always tells me his secrets. I felt oddly betrayed that he didn?t tell me. Again I tuned in to hear what they were saying
?- I will take over and you will be kicked out. I think that you are jealous that I have love and you don?t! I think that you are so corrupt by power that you will do anything to keep your title and gain more power, and killing Mother proved it!!?, so caught up in his rage that he threw Father?s knife, the knife I was going to give Father towards the door. The knife cartwheeled through the air and embedded itself in the door frame. Only a mere four inches from where I was watching.
I didn?t notice though. I was still trying to get around the fact that Father, my father! had killed Mother. No, I must have heard wrong. I had to have heard wrong. Father loved Mother. The next scene however proved me wrong.
Father Hit My Brother!!!!
He Punched Him!!!! Right in the stomach, and while his son was bent over trying to collect his breath from the powerful punch he calmly said, ?I maybe corrupt and I do not deny nor claim to have killed your mother. As for the girl, you will not set seven feet near her. Do you understand? DO YOU UNDERSTAND?? the last part he shouted and kicked Zechs.
I felt hollow. I didn?t even notice tears running down my face or that I was sniffling. I didn?t notice that small mewling whimpers were coming out of my mouth. All I could focus on was the admittance that Father did kill Mother. He killed My MOTHER. Why? Why did he kill her? He loved her, didn?t he? I felt the bottom drop out of the floor and I was sent crashing along with it. My world crumbled showing me a different story, Reality. Father didn?t love Mother and he killed her, and by his display he didn?t love my brother or me either. Could we be killed off too? I felt nothing as these thoughts ran amuck in my head. I just watched the scene before me. My brother on his knees doubled over while my father watched on. Slowly as if knowing I was there my brother raised his head and through with bangs saw me in the crack of the door. His eyes widened considerably and on his face emotions passed quickly.
It was his eyes that broke me of my trance. Deep pitying eyes. He knew I had seen it all. He knew that my innocence of the world was shattered forever, and he was the first to grieve for the once young, naive Lena. My eyes shifted to the knife embedded in the door frame. The simplistic knife I had bought for Father, and as I stared thoughts grew in my head. He didn?t deserve this knife. I had bought it out of love but now he had shattered that love. He didn?t need it and I was not going to give him a weapon for him to kill me or my brother with. Without realizing it my hand snaked out and yanked the knife from the wood. The sound brought my father attention, but he only saw a hand with a knife in its grasp disappearing from view. My brother called after me but didn?t pay any attention.
I raced down the hallway to skid to a stop at the top of the stairs. I ran down the stairs taking two to three at a time all the while tears running down my face. When I look back on this moment it is a wonder to me that I did not trip or fall. The next part is a blur to me. I somehow burst out of the secret doorway without being seen, flew down the stairs and hallway, and bypassed servants on the Grand Staircase and Great Hall without getting stopped. Stumbling down the outdoor stairs I whipped my head from side to side wondering where I should go. I dismissed the Gardens, the Stable, and the College because it would be too easy to find me there. I could also be sent back and I wanted to get as far away as I could. I didn?t see or mind the curious stares I attracted I was in my own world of grief. It was like my mother died all over again.
The only place I had left was the town. I took off down the path running as fast as I could, trying to escape my troubles. In the blink of an eye I was outside the gate, past the rode the led up to it, and in town. I went to the only safe haven I could think of: the park. Once there I ran to a tree on the far side that was up against the small forest. I slid down the tree exhausted and notice that it was raining. It was like the gods felt my grief. I set my knife down beside be and curled up, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my head on my knees.
How long I sat there and cried I don?t know. Eventually I was soaked to the bone and all the tears had come out of me, but I still had my grief. I must have struck a sad picture or something to attract his attention. I don?t know what he saw in me with my wet torn clothes, my grubby hair, and tear-stained faced. I am sure he now regrets having helped me. I felt his hand touch my shoulder and when I didn?t respond arms wrapped around me. I still miss the comforting sense I got from the enclosure. His arms were warm, like the rest of his body, against my shivering cold body. I instantly felt comforted and when he pulled me up I didn?t resist him or struggle to get away. Once on my own two feet he wrapped his oil cloak around me to keep me from getting any wetter. I looked up to see who could and would be so kind to me and I met his eyes. Deep Blue Eyes. They showed understanding instead of pity. They showed me someone could be kind and comforting even to a total stranger.
I loved his eyes.
Almost as much as I came to love him.
________________________
So how was that? Please review me and tell me what you think.
Thanks,
Ally Lei
By Ally Lei
Summary: A girl, to save her love's life, sells him into slavery. Now he is back this time they are going by his rules and all he wants is revenge and her. But what if they are caught up, again, in the game of deceit that destroyed their love. (AU) HxR
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, its names, or characters
(Heck I don't even own a tape or DVD of the show)
?So where exactly are we headin??? a boy?s voice cracked next to me.
I allowed myself a small smile at the boy?s curiosity. Jakkin had an enthusiasm and curiosity for life that I had admired since the time I first met him, which was about three years ago when I saved him from being executed for spilling juice on a noble?s daughter. He still believes he has to pay his debt to me. Without turning to him I adopted an air of loftiness and replied.
?We will go were ever our paths take us.? my words turned sardonic, ?Or in our case where ever the next client is.?
?There is no ?next client?
This time I did turn to him. We were both astride dune horses so it was rather hard. Jakkin was about fourteen years old and was just now starting to turn into a man. His voice was currently cracking when ever he spoke and he had the lanky awkwardness of a boy who had yet to grow and fill out. He also ate like a horse. We had to accept a sand donkey as a gift from one of my clients just so we could carry enough food for him to eat!
Jakkin was a prostitute?s get and was sold into slavery at an early age. He has no clue who his father is and has vague memories of his mother. He claims from those memories that compared to today?s standard of beauty his mother was rather plain. I don?t put a lot of credit to his words because he is quite handsome for a boy. As do all Sunnsand people, he had a head full of thick, curly dark hair. His skin was tanned but didn?t have the weathered look that so many in the south carried. His cheekbones and black eyes were almost feminine but he had a good strong jaw and heavyset eyebrows. His form was lanky but spoke that with proper nourishment and training he would become a powerful man.
?What do you mean there are no clients requesting my presence to dance? They are always clients wanting me to sword dance so they can place bets and when I win they make money off those bets.? A slight conceited I know but I had yet to come across a rival that could beat me in a fight.
Jakkin gave me a frosty glance but replied.
?You have been working yourself too hard for the past eight months. I felt that you deserved a break and declined every offer from the nobles. And before you protest I told them that you would like a chance to go home and visit with your family. Almost all of them immediately agreed with me and left.? I was a bit surprised he would do that because Jakkin was a very kind hearted boy and wouldn?t do anything without telling me first. Apparently, though, Jakkin also had mother hen syndrome if he felt I wasn?t get enough of this or that he would do it himself.
?You told them I was going to visit my family?! Why would you do that? Are you purposely trying to torture me?? I thought of yelling at the boy but that would only shut him up, leaving me to try to unsuccessfully pump information.
?Like I said you have been pushing yourself to hard and could use this time as a welcome break. I know I could.? he added.
I glared at him but didn?t say anything. Facing forward I contemplated what I could do. It was still early morning. Cool enough that we could ride without using the suncloaks to shade us from the sun, and for the dune horses to canter a bit. We could reach the next town at the end of the day if we did that. Maybe I could leave Jakkin there and disappear leaving him with a note to travel on to my brothers with my sincere apologies I couldn?t come.
?Before you start trying to conjure up an escape plan let me remind you of something.? he turned to me, ?You haven?t been home in three years! You promised your brother you would visit him every year or so. If you don?t visit him soon he is going to look for us and when he finds us both you and I will be in BIG trouble. He is scary enough without having him breathing down my neck and yelling at me!?
I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. Jakkin tends to over exaggerate and blabber a lot. He wouldn?t be punished. Would he? Now that I think about it I wouldn?t put it passed my brother. He is quite terrifying when you don?t know his sequence of moods and how to deal with them. Calm, disbelief, anger, and rage. Those are the only moods he is ever in. Just ignore him and you will do fine. I?ve been doing it for years and I?m still alive.
?You will not get in trouble.? I said firmly.
?Yes, I will. You brother made me promise when he met me, to make sure you didn?t get into trouble and also to make sure you don?t skip out on your duties. Meaning you had better visit your family. He said that I would be punished if-?he was cut off.
?You will not get in trouble, I promise.?
He looked at me in relief. I could tell he was scared I wouldn?t listen to him. With that admission though I had silently agreed to visit my family and he knew it. I wondered at how close we had become in three years. It usually takes me a year or so to open up and even then I wouldn?t trust them with my life. It has only happened once before and the out come was painful for both parties.
?It seems I will forever be in your debt.?
I sighed a bit when I heard that. It seemed to be his favorite saying.
I glanced at him.
He was so serious. Sitting on his mount with his hand resting lightly on the pommel and the other on his sword hilt you could have mistaken him for a full grown adult from his expression. Ah, little one, you will never believe that you have paid your debt to me and then some in companionship and friendship.
We were traveling on an old donkey path that led form one town (where we came from, and now a day away) to another (where we are heading and a day away). The towns don?t have names so you have to remember where they are on a mental map with landmarks. Cities though have enormously long names. It is like they are trying to make up for the lack of town names.
Speaking of towns and debts I owe one to Old Man Moon at home. I blinked in shock. I had not referred to my hometown as my home in years. They say home is where they welcome you. I am not welcomed in my hometown that much. All because of a mistake and rash action. Those who were even good friends with me now speak to me frostily. Everyone acts civil towards me because they have to or else they have a few words with my brother resulting in taxes being raised.
See I was the young and naive daughter to a Lord (my father). I really could do no wrong. I know that is egotistical but I couldn?t. I didn?t believe in making mistakes and always tried to do the right thing. It seemed that everyone loved me and wanted to make me happy. Maybe that is what got me into this mess in the first place...
I felt my face turn mournful. My sky colored eyes turning glassy with tears and my lips forming a small pout. To turn my attention elsewhere, I observed our surroundings.
There was not a single cloud in the sky and a breeze was blowing by. Turning up sand but keeping it away from our eyes since we were facing downwind. It was hot, almost unbearably so. We would soon have to bring out the sun cloaks to protect our skin from being sun burnt. Then there was the desert, endless miles of sand. As far as the eye can see and then some was covered in sand. There were oasis and wells but you had to know where they where at to find them. This whole country is made up of sand!
This is why it is called Sunnsand. Oh ha ha! Our ancient ancestors were so clever. So full of wisdom they decided to settle in a desert of all forsaken places! Though they did settle near The River, the one river in the land that was so big you couldn?t see the other side in some places. And there really was some wisdom in settling the desert because not many enemies are going to invade a desert just to take over a desert. It would be kind of stupid wouldn?t?
?.
I wish some of that wisdom was passed onto me. I could have really used it well.
I felt the sun beating down on my skin and knew I should put my suncloak but I couldn?t bring myself to do it. It wasn?t until Jakkin broke my reverie to comment that we should bring out the cloaks. I did but it was more of an automatic move than even a half-hearted attempt. I couldn?t help it. I was stuck in the past.
~*~
When I first met him I was ten years old and him, thirteen. As said before I was well loved and a very happy child. But that day, that glorious and terrible day when I met him, I saw something that would begin to shatter my innocence.
While coming back from the market because it looked as if it would downpour soon, I waved to the passers and imagined my father?s reaction to the gift I had just bought him for his birthday. I was excited and couldn?t wait for the dinner party tonight when I would present him his gift. He would open right in the middle of the room, in front of all the guests, and then he would smile down at me and say it was just what he wanted for his birthday and that he couldn?t ask for a better gift or a better daughter.
I loved my father tremendously. I loved how he always kept his cool and was conservative, he didn?t value wealth and he had very few personal slaves (of which I was grateful).
The guard at the gate let me in with a question of how well my shopping went. I told him that it was wonderful and I had found father the perfect gift. The guard smiled down at me, I guess because of my excitement. He informed me that my brother had asked to see me when I came back to discuss an important topic. I smiled; I knew my brother wanted to talk about my behavior during the party. He was always worrying about making an impression.
I thanked Brekk, which was his name (I was on first name basis with all of the staff much to the disapproval of my brother), and went through the wrought-iron gate.
The estate was a beautiful building. Built with sand and clay bricks its color was a reddish tan; there were also pathways made of the same bricks leading from the gardens, which were just inside the gate. They also led to the stables and the college. The path through the gardens went straight through them but there were pathways leading off into the gardens. I would normally take these and wonder through them until someone was sent to find and clean me up for supper, but today I had a mission.
From the gardens, the path led to the courtyard which in turn led to the front steps of the great mansion. The building towered over me with towers on all of the corners and two above the main door. Many windows faced the front overlooking the courtyard, gardens, and some, the town (these also looked over the gardens and courtyard). I had managed to obtain the suite of rooms in one of the tallest towers on the mansion, one of the two towers above the front door. I had the best view of the courtyard, gardens, and the town from up there. My destination was the room right next to mine in the other tower above the door: my brother?s room.
Hopping up the steps and skipping through the front door I was stopped by the bustle going on inside. Almost all of the servants were scurrying around the room tidying up a bouquet, dusting off a table, mopping the marble floor, and many other jobs for the party. Some of them smiled at me but most of them ignored me, too intent on the job at hand which was fine with me. I would rather be ignored then taken somewhere to be groomed and dressed in the stuffiest dress imaginable.
I avoided all of the workers and managed to reach the marble staircase to the right of the door without any incidents. The great stained glass window above the front door shed colored light everywhere making you think that you were in another world. A very weird one too. The window and the old, grand chandelier above the Great Hall was the pride of the Peacecraft family. I especially liked it because the crystals hanging form the chandelier caught the light from the window and sprinkled the colors all over the marble hall. One of my favorite games was to try to avoid the little dots by stepping on a larger colored space.
I raced up the steps and turned right down a hallway lined with pictures of my ancestors until I came upon another stair way except not as grand as the main one. I climbed the stairs but stopped two floors up and in between the third and fourth floor. On the wall was a sconce that lit up the stairway like all of the others. This one, though, served a dual purpose; if the small golden knob on the bottom of the sconce was twisted 180 degrees and then the sconce was turned onto its side a panel will open on the opposite wall.
Very useful and very secretive. My mother was very paranoid and she cajoled my father into building a secret passage way that led up to our private chambers. We even had ?play? rooms where all of our toys and some clothes were stored to make it look like we actually lived in them so no one would become suspicious and go looking for where we actually sleep. Also, a most trusted servant would sleep in the bed to make it appear that we were actually there. The plan was very elaborate and had many details yet was way too unreasonable for someone who was well loved by their land owners.
After looking around and making sure that no one was there I twisted the knob and turned the sconce. The panel behind me whooshed up and I caught a waft of mildew. The hallway behind the panel led to the far left side and then up a small staircase to the top of the mansion. There was nothing to extraordinary about the hallway or the stairway. The walls were an off white color from age and the red carpet beneath my feet matted down and smelled, hence the mildew smell. No pictures or anything lined the walls except the standard sconces seen through out the house. Occasionally I could here people in other rooms talking, laughing, and arguing. I passed on level were I could here thumping, as if a headboard was hitting the wall or some one was punching it in rapid succession. I wonder what was going on in there.
I finally reached the top and was greeted with sounds of grunting and metal slicing through the air only to come to a stop with the loud thud of a sword hitting a practice post. Someone was practicing their swordsmanship and I bet I know who it is. I smiled at the thought of watching my brother practice; I greatly wanted to learn how to use a sword and my brother has taught me some easy defensive moves but no more than that. He says that I should be ladylike and a lady does not use a sword. I was really tempted to use a vulgar word I had heard around the soldiers? barracks when he said that but contained myself. It would not be good to say anything ?unladylike? in front of him when there was still a chance of convincing him to teach me some more.
The top floor was technically an attic and all of the servants, slaves, guards, soldiers, and guests thought that it was. But it wasn?t. The first door on the left opened up into father?s office. I have never been in there but my brother has; to learn how to run things around the estate. Farther down the hall and to the left was a door that led to a private indoor training room and a collection of weapons of old. The right sides had four rooms and in order from the first you see to all the way down the hall are: the private library, my room, my brother?s room, my mother?s room. My father used to sleep up here too, in his office (except it wasn?t an office back then), but when mother died he packed up and moved all of his stuff elsewhere. I really had no clue were he slept. I was greatly tempted to do the same because mother?s death cast a shadow on the whole level and I tried not to stay up here long during the day.
I tiptoed to the training room?s door and slid it open quietly so there was a slit to see through. My brother was an unusually tall person; standing six feet and four inches he towered over the regular five feet and ten inches of the Sunnsand males. An endowment from mother?s bloodline. Another odd feature was his hair, he had long blond hair and while I had the same, my hair was a darker shade than his almost white head. Yes, we were half breeds. Father married mother when he was really young and traveling the land to obtain deals, alliances, and other things newly-made Lords do. He met her on the border of Sunnsand and Coldsnow, the only place where the temperature was not in the extremes. My father fell in love with my mother so much that he married her, much to the disapproval of other nobles. When my mother died Father changed, he still loved us but he seemed to be more aloof and cool toward us. The change had hurt me greatly but eventually I understood that it was his way of coping with the loss.
My brother just took it with utmost respect and coolness that was expected of him and a Lord?s son. Out of the two of us, he was always more rational and logical than me. He gained the troops? respect by going through their training and more. He trained and pushed his body just as hard as our elite soldiers and guards did to theirs. He had the best tutors in the land and led our small legion into battles against attacking river pirate/raiders only to come out victorious. Even now when he had more responsibilities at home he still trained and practiced.
His sword winked at me as it sliced through the air on a complicated maneuver. Balance perfect he completed his practice period with grace and speed, going in for the kill of an imaginary opponent, he faked left then quickly swung right only to change directions again right in the center of the swing to slice upwards effectively cut his opponents throat. All of this was accomplished while looking like an elaborate dance. How I envied him for being able to use a sword. I wanted so much to just feel the weight of my sword whistling through the air while I was in a calm peaceful state. Oh, how I wanted to?
?Come out already Lena, I know you are there. I saw the door move while practicing.? my brother?s deep voice rumbled through the air.
I blinked in surprise. I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I didn?t notice him walking over to the sword rack on the other side of the room to put his sword away and then walk back to the center of the room with a small towel. He now stood looking at the door while wiping sweat off his neck.
Rule #1: Pay attention to your surroundings.
I sheepishly opened the door and stepped onto the hardwood floor in the room. White paneled wall surrounded the room with very few adornments on them. The only ones was a bull?s eye and sword rack along with a towel rack. Light filtered through windows along the far side wall.
?I got back form shopping.? I said, ?I think Father will really like what I got him?
I saw an unidentifiable emotion pass across his face?
?Oh really, what did you get him this time?? my brother questioned in a teasing tone.
I quickly got out a small package from my cloak pocket. Unraveling it revealed a plain box.
?You got him a box?? his voce had laughter in it now. I glared at him and retorted:
?No, Zechs, the present is in he box you idiot.?
And to prove my statement I opened the box to show him. Inside rested a small boot knife. It was relatively simple with a small ruby at the end of the hilt laid in gold-plated metal. Yet because of the simplness and usefulness it seemed to have a dignified aura. Zechs took the knife and laid the edge on his thumb. It sliced through his skin easily letting a small line of blood bead up. He sucked his thumb then placed his forefinger out to rest the knife on it. The knife balanced perfectly after a little of wobbling.
?Well it seems you were right sister. This is a very good present.? I smiled here. ?Perfect balance. A keen edge. Tell me where did you get this. I might like one of my own.?
I grinned up at him in my childish mischief.
?I?m not telling. You?ll just have to wait for your birthday.? I impishly said.
My brother gave a mock sigh of distress and mumbled ?I guess I will?. After having said that he turned serious and I knew this is what he wanted to talk about.
?I would like to talk to you about your behavior for tonight. I know you know the rules so I?m just going to be brief. One- Stay where there are plenty of guest and everyone can see you, Two- do not accept anything from suspicious looking people, Three- mind your manners, and Four- DO NOT go into any corners with boys.? I snorted at the last one. I was ten years old, not many boys were interested in me.
?I know, Zechs? I sounded like a young child I know but they were the exact same rules as last time and the time before that too.
My brother reveled in my grumpiness. Turning back into a smiling teenager he spoke the words I dreaded to hear:
?Go get cleaned up and dressed for the party. I bought you a new dress that should be lying on your bed.?
I groaned and sullenly turned towards the door to shuffle out. I was out the door and in the hallway when I saw my Father. I smiled and said hello to him expecting a response back. Only I didn?t get a response. He passed by me in a furious daze without a glance. I was a little put off by that but rationalized that he had a lot on his mind with the party and all. I was just at my doorway when I remembered that Zechs had never given back Father?s Knife. I raced back to the training room hoping to demand it from him. As I neared the door I heard shouting. The voices sounded like my brother and Father, and they sounded mad. I could hear voices but couldn?t understand them until I opened the door to see what was going on.
They were standing in the middle of the room facing each other. In my brother?s hand was a sword, no doubt after I left he started practicing again. He had the sword pointed at Father and was furiously shouting as my father stood three feet away from him watching him red-faced.
?-I don?t care what you think about her. I invited her so I?ll take responsibility.? That was my brother.
?I don?t want to see our good name ruined because some money wanting whore bewitched my son!? Father shouted right back at him.
?She?s not a whore and you know it! And if you were really worried about our name you shouldn?t have married Mother!? I had never seen my brother defend a person much less a girl. I wonder who she is. What was with that comment about Mother?
?You know what I think?! I think you are afraid that now I am becoming a man and planning on getting married-?
I stifled a gasp. When had this happened!?! Zechs always tells me his secrets. I felt oddly betrayed that he didn?t tell me. Again I tuned in to hear what they were saying
?- I will take over and you will be kicked out. I think that you are jealous that I have love and you don?t! I think that you are so corrupt by power that you will do anything to keep your title and gain more power, and killing Mother proved it!!?, so caught up in his rage that he threw Father?s knife, the knife I was going to give Father towards the door. The knife cartwheeled through the air and embedded itself in the door frame. Only a mere four inches from where I was watching.
I didn?t notice though. I was still trying to get around the fact that Father, my father! had killed Mother. No, I must have heard wrong. I had to have heard wrong. Father loved Mother. The next scene however proved me wrong.
Father Hit My Brother!!!!
He Punched Him!!!! Right in the stomach, and while his son was bent over trying to collect his breath from the powerful punch he calmly said, ?I maybe corrupt and I do not deny nor claim to have killed your mother. As for the girl, you will not set seven feet near her. Do you understand? DO YOU UNDERSTAND?? the last part he shouted and kicked Zechs.
I felt hollow. I didn?t even notice tears running down my face or that I was sniffling. I didn?t notice that small mewling whimpers were coming out of my mouth. All I could focus on was the admittance that Father did kill Mother. He killed My MOTHER. Why? Why did he kill her? He loved her, didn?t he? I felt the bottom drop out of the floor and I was sent crashing along with it. My world crumbled showing me a different story, Reality. Father didn?t love Mother and he killed her, and by his display he didn?t love my brother or me either. Could we be killed off too? I felt nothing as these thoughts ran amuck in my head. I just watched the scene before me. My brother on his knees doubled over while my father watched on. Slowly as if knowing I was there my brother raised his head and through with bangs saw me in the crack of the door. His eyes widened considerably and on his face emotions passed quickly.
It was his eyes that broke me of my trance. Deep pitying eyes. He knew I had seen it all. He knew that my innocence of the world was shattered forever, and he was the first to grieve for the once young, naive Lena. My eyes shifted to the knife embedded in the door frame. The simplistic knife I had bought for Father, and as I stared thoughts grew in my head. He didn?t deserve this knife. I had bought it out of love but now he had shattered that love. He didn?t need it and I was not going to give him a weapon for him to kill me or my brother with. Without realizing it my hand snaked out and yanked the knife from the wood. The sound brought my father attention, but he only saw a hand with a knife in its grasp disappearing from view. My brother called after me but didn?t pay any attention.
I raced down the hallway to skid to a stop at the top of the stairs. I ran down the stairs taking two to three at a time all the while tears running down my face. When I look back on this moment it is a wonder to me that I did not trip or fall. The next part is a blur to me. I somehow burst out of the secret doorway without being seen, flew down the stairs and hallway, and bypassed servants on the Grand Staircase and Great Hall without getting stopped. Stumbling down the outdoor stairs I whipped my head from side to side wondering where I should go. I dismissed the Gardens, the Stable, and the College because it would be too easy to find me there. I could also be sent back and I wanted to get as far away as I could. I didn?t see or mind the curious stares I attracted I was in my own world of grief. It was like my mother died all over again.
The only place I had left was the town. I took off down the path running as fast as I could, trying to escape my troubles. In the blink of an eye I was outside the gate, past the rode the led up to it, and in town. I went to the only safe haven I could think of: the park. Once there I ran to a tree on the far side that was up against the small forest. I slid down the tree exhausted and notice that it was raining. It was like the gods felt my grief. I set my knife down beside be and curled up, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my head on my knees.
How long I sat there and cried I don?t know. Eventually I was soaked to the bone and all the tears had come out of me, but I still had my grief. I must have struck a sad picture or something to attract his attention. I don?t know what he saw in me with my wet torn clothes, my grubby hair, and tear-stained faced. I am sure he now regrets having helped me. I felt his hand touch my shoulder and when I didn?t respond arms wrapped around me. I still miss the comforting sense I got from the enclosure. His arms were warm, like the rest of his body, against my shivering cold body. I instantly felt comforted and when he pulled me up I didn?t resist him or struggle to get away. Once on my own two feet he wrapped his oil cloak around me to keep me from getting any wetter. I looked up to see who could and would be so kind to me and I met his eyes. Deep Blue Eyes. They showed understanding instead of pity. They showed me someone could be kind and comforting even to a total stranger.
I loved his eyes.
Almost as much as I came to love him.
________________________
So how was that? Please review me and tell me what you think.
Thanks,
Ally Lei
.....YAYAYAYA!!!!!!