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Love Among the Ruins 15

Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 3:10 pm
by Sailor Celaeno
Disclaimer: I wish I owned the characters and the opera, but I don?t. And I?m poor. You won?t get anything from me.
Pairings: If you?re reading this chapter, you SHOULD know by now.
Surprises: If you?ve read anything written by me, you should know I throw tons at you.
Genres: Do I really need to remind you?
Warnings: It?s inspired by opera. Most of the famous operas in the world are tragedies. Get the hint? Oh and there will be some references to a ?parallel opera fic? that I?m planning to write which involve 3xMU and 4xD. ^_^ (Pairings that I have a fascination with. To each his/her own.)
AN: To my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.

Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins
Act 15: With Sweetness
By Sailor Celaeno

?Somehow I should have been a better woman. I mean? I go back and think about what I?ve done and then I feel terrible again. I feel terrible and awful. Yet, I see that you were right, doc. You were right. I couldn?t see what was happening around me. I?m only a human being and I can?t control everything around me. Still, there?s a longing in my heart that hasn?t gone away. Will it ever?? Hilde asked with a quiet voice. The end of her tears allowed her to have a clearer head.

?Duo was the sort of man who went his own way,? she closed her eyes. ?After the peace came to the Earth and the colonies, we had found some happiness.? She opened her eyes. There was something gentle and serene in her eyes. ?I had forgotten that Duo was a gypsy.?

?Gypsy?? the doctor asked.

?He told me that he was an orphan. He was used to fending for himself. I had forgotten. I should have known better than to be selfish and think of what I wanted. Those final days, I was selfish. I didn?t realize what Duo needed. He needed his freedom from the past. He needed to be free from me,? she finished.

?You feel sure of this thought? Is that your conclusion, Hilde??

?I was being selfish. After Duo?s funeral, I was shrouded in darkness. There was only gloom and guilt that settled over my heart. I was ignorant that someone was suffering too. It was? eight months ago.?

*****



Heero was sitting in the leather chair behind her desk. ?Just where are you?? It had been nearly two months since Duo?s funeral. He and Hilde were together. They were still a couple, but there was something cooler between them. They were trying to move on with their lives. Hilde avoided the grief counseling. So did Heero. Hilde seriously needed it. At times, Heero was getting worried about her sanity. She didn?t eat or sleep very much. Her thoughts were always elsewhere.

?Relena?? he replied irritatingly. It wasn?t like Relena to be away from her office at that time of day.

The sounds of footsteps approached the office. The sound of her voice grew louder. He could hear the familiar warmth in her voice. Its owner soon appeared and started at the sight of him. ?Heero??

?Relena,? he replied.

?What are you doing here?? she asked. She walked towards her chair. Heero left the seat and allowed her to sit. ?I didn?t expect to see you here.?

?Clearly,? was his answer. ?You haven?t been an easy woman to contact.?

?I know. That was on purpose. I didn?t want just anyone to contact me,? was her reply.

?I?d wait forever if I had to, but this is no time to wait. It was important that I contacted you,? Heero said with concern.

?Contact me? About what??

[A little to tease him]

?None of the others have heard from you. That is? except Sally. It?s something that concerns me,? replied Heero.

Relena had a slight smile. ?Well, I don?t mind having some girl talk. But it?s rather hard to do that with you, Heero.?

[And then a little troubled, he will call]

Heero wasn?t amused. ?Sally?s a good woman, but she?s also a doctor. Is there something that you?re not telling me??

The smile slowly left her face. ?I see. You?re worried about me.?

?Of course I?m worried. Besides your importance to the world? you?re important to my world.? He said the last fragment in a softer voice.

Relena watched him. Her face didn?t change. She was serene in appearance and seemed unaffected by his words. ?I understand you, Heero. There is no doubt that you are earnest about it.?

?What is wrong? You?ve got to be honest with me, Relena. It?s not a game.? Heero?s voice became more urgent.

?No, it?s not. It?s not a game. It?s a cruel joke,? Relena had a bitter tone in her voice.

?What? What is?? He grabbed her by the shoulders.

?You? me? us. The fact that we?re speaking about this is a joke. I wish that you wouldn?t do this anymore, Heero. I wish you?d just leave me alone.?

?The way you?re talking now is worrying me,? he returned.

Relena gave him a hard stare. ?Why? Why are you doing this, Heero? You left me to be with another woman, and then you?re here trying to talk to me like there?s nothing wrong, like there was never anything wrong between us. I don?t care if you?re guilty, or just bored with Hilde. I?m not going to let anyone toy around with my feelings. I can?t afford it, especially now.?

?I?m not doing anything to you,? he replied.

Relena looked at him. ?You have to realize Heero, it?s over between us. I can?t just go back to the way things were. Don?t you get it? Have you and Hilde been together so long that you?ve both turned stupid?? she said, almost yelling. She leaned back in her chair and stared at her ex-lover with an angry look. ?For God?s sake, look around you, Heero. Let?s make one thing clear. This isn?t about you and me. This is about something bigger. You know what that means don?t you??

[She changes the tone of her voice.]

Heero could clearly see the conviction in her eyes. There was something almost desperate in her voice. She really wanted him to understand her intentions, even if it meant something terrible would happen. ?I don?t want to leave you alone. You shouldn?t face your troubles alone.?

Relena had calmed down somewhat. There was something cold about her. Not the heartless sort of cold, but the kind of controlling certainty that he once had. ?I?d wish you?d stop being a knight. I?m a princess that has learned to save herself. If you want a damsel to save, Preventer, I?d suggest you go home and take care of your girlfriend. If Duo?s funeral showed anything? it made it clear that she?s in great danger.?

[She changes her accents, and her thoughts]

?You know then??

?It?s clear that she could lose her mind if she doesn?t get help. She?s not strong like you. I?m no threat to her. I won?t try stealing you from her. What?s the use of saving something that can?t be saved?? was her icy answer.

?I perfectly understand you,? was all he could say to her.

?Good. I?m happy that we have resolved our business, Preventer,? was her reply. She picked up a file on her desk. ?I have important things to do now.? She stood up and began to walk out of the office. Please show yourself out. I don?t think I?ll be seeing you again.?

[fade away]

?I see,? was the only thing Heero could say. He turned to open the door and left.

*****

?What? That?s what Relena said to you?? Hilde was surprised at the change in Relena?s attitude.

Heero nodded. ?I didn?t understand how she could be that way. That?s not like her at all. Do you suppose something has happened to her??

?But we?d need to find a way to get the information from her,? Hilde added.

?It?s a long shot, but I think I know how.? Heero had a slight smile.

*****

Quatre partially wished he wasn?t going to get involved in this. Ever since that night that he, Trowa and Duo were having a bachelors? night months ago, he vowed he wouldn?t interfere in someone else?s romance problems while he had one of his own. However Heero and Hilde convinced him of how serious the situation was. And besides? Sally wouldn?t reveal any concerns that Relena might have told her. Noin and Une were both busy with work. And Dorothy? it?s best they don?t deal with Dorothy at the moment. In his opinion, she was making a huge mistake marrying that man. But this wasn?t the time or place. He wouldn?t drag his personal issues into their dinner. That?s just something for another story and another time.

Relena soon appeared and Quatre stood up to greet her. She was more tired-looking since Duo?s funeral. Maybe it was a good thing he called her. ?Miss Relena,? he called to her.

?Hello, Quatre.? She soon reached the table. He pulled out her chair and he took his seat.

?It?s been? well too long,? she smiled.

?Much too long. How are you??

?Relieved to do something that doesn?t involve Mars.?

Quatre gave her a sad smile. ?I?m glad I could be of service to you.?

?I think you?re doing more for me than anyone has done in quite some time. I was happy to get your phone call. I? haven?t seen any friendly faces since?? she stopped.

?I know how you feel,? he said a little sadly too.

Relena knew what he meant. ?I didn?t realize you felt that way. Did you ever tell her??

?It doesn?t seem to matter if I said anything. She?d probably do it regardless,? was his reply.

?Are you sure? How does she feel about you?? Relena had a worried look.

[My secrets lie hidden within me]


?She knows how I feel. She?s a very shrewd woman. She knows how I feel. And I can feel?? he shook his head. ?There?s no reason to talk about that. I?d much rather talk about you,? he replied.

?It seems we?re stuck,? was Relena?s answer.

?Stuck?? Quatre asked.

?Of course. We both have issues with people that we?d much rather not talk about. After all, there?s no reason for me to talk about Heero and Hilde?s love life, and you?d rather not talk about Dorothy.? Relena stared at her friend with an amused gleam in her eyes. ?In short, Quatre? we are two lonely people that are just playing parts of people who don?t care.?

Quatre returned her look. ?It?s strange. You sound like??

?I now understand why it was that she acted so coldly to me? back when we first met. Being kind may be a good thing, but it hurts like hell when you get dumped aside.?

Quatre could really see the change in her. ?Could Heero and Hilde have possibly done this?? He found it hard to believe that their relationship could have really affected Relena so deeply. But here he saw the proof. She was a different person. There was something that was gone in her.

[I freeze, and then feel my soul burning]

Dinner passed pleasantly and they talked about other things. Soon the conversation changed back to something deeper. ?I still can?t believe so much time has passed since the war. We?ve all changed and grew up. Did you ever think that your life would be like this?? Relena asked as she picked up her wine glass for another sip.

Quatre had a tiny smile. ?No. I wasn?t really sure what future would happen. I just knew in my heart that it just had to be better than the way the world was at that time. I wholeheartedly believed that people wanted peace. I felt it was better if I was the one that did the fighting than??

?So? you willingly accepted the burden of doing terrible things because you love humanity that much. You have enough faith in it to believe that it was worth saving,? Relena said.

Quatre gave her a smile. ?You can say that. I loved my family and even at the darkest hour? I just thought about those dearest to me. I remember that I suffered because I loved them too much to let them suffer.?

?I wished I was that certain?? her eyes were turned downwards.

?Miss Relena??

[and in another moment go back to freezing]


Relena looked up with a trouble smile, ?It?s nothing. I?m fine. I think that it?s been a long day. I should probably leave soon.?

Quatre nodded. ?If you ever need to talk, I?m here.?

Relena got up. ?Yes. I know. I will,? she offered him a smile.

Quatre got her coat and politely helped her put it on. They said their farewells and parted. He watched as Relena leave the restaurant. ?I wonder? what will they think when I tell them about tonight?? Quatre wondered to himself.

*****



?How did you feel when he told you and Heero?? Dr. Carlyle asked.

?How was I supposed to feel? It just convinced me that something was wrong. It convinced Heero something was wrong. At the same time, I felt that Heero might slip away to her. Even though she said she didn?t want him around? I know perfectly well there?s just something about Heero that makes his persistence a force that can?t be fenced off. Even now? he?s watching her. That?s what makes this whole thing ridiculous,? Hilde growled in frustration.

?Have you ever asked yourself, why is it that you felt so strongly about keeping Duo and Heero??

?You?re the shrink you tell me,? was her sarcastic reply.

Carlyle sighed, ?It seems to me that in the few short hours that we?ve been having this conversation, I?ve begun learn to a great deal about you. You?ve clung onto Duo because you wanted to feel important to him.?

Hilde stared at him with ?what?s your point?? look on her face.

?When you met Duo during the war, you admired his wish to end the pointlessness of war. You wanted to do whatever you could to help him. But then you discovered something in Heero that you wanted too. You said it to yourself, that you loved him because his convictions are strong. It?s obvious what is at the heart of the problem for you, Heero, Duo, and Miss Relena,? he proclaimed.

?What? Tell me, what??

?Simply emotional dependence. You loved Duo and Heero because you depend on them for something that you were missing. You?d do anything to hold onto that secure feeling they gave you. So even though you love Heero, you couldn?t let go of Duo. Without Duo in your life, there?d be an empty spot.?

?Could it be true? Could I have based my love for them? all on selfish desires?? she said softly.

?In order to truly love someone, you can?t love them to fill emptiness your emptiness. You must love them because you are both complete people.?

?Complete people? He wasn?t complete? He was feeling something was missing and I didn?t fill it?? Hilde paused for a moment before she added, ?I suppose the real questions are did I ever really love Duo or Heero? And did they ever really love me?? Hilde wondered, ?Would that explain why Relena did what she did???

AN: I?d like to thank the following composers for creating such wonderful music to inspire me.

1) ?Un Bel di Vedremo? from ?Madama Butterfly? by Giacomo Puccini

2) ?O Mio Babbino Caro? from ?Gianni Schicchi? by Giacomo Puccini

3) ?La Donna e Mobile? from ?Rigoletto? by Giuseppe Verdi

4) ?Nessun Dorma? from ?Turandot? by Giacomo Puccini

5) ?Voi Che Sapate? from ?The Marriage of Figaro? by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

6) ?Largo al Factotum? from ?The Barber of Seville? by Giaochino Rossini

Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 8:31 pm
by silversong
How very interesting!

:D Thanks so much, I'm looking forward to the next one!

~Silver