Birds and The Slugs
Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 3:23 am
Birds and the Slugs
?Sakura.?
Sakura jerked her head up from where she had been dozing. ?What is it Sasuke-kun?? ?Man this stake-out business is boring.? She thought. Sasuke had demanded that they stay completely silent, and had disappeared without a trace.
But now he was right there in front of her, looking confused.
?Has something happened?? She asked, secretly hoping that he had come to have a little ?love-love? session. ?Yes!? Inner Sakura shouted. ?He is lonely in the cold, cold night and he needs a nice warm girl like me!?
?Follow me.? He whispered.
They sped off into the night, jumping from branch to branch with practised ease. Crickets chirped and birds slumbered, the small and vulnerable animals creeping out under the cover of darkness, whilst the silent killers kept to their hungry vigilance.
Where are Kakashi and Naruto?
Well, staying awake for a growing boy is very hard, and Kakashi had gotten the new book in a series he had been waiting for for a very long time, and reading in the dark was just too difficult, and anyway, who needed to watch these kids watch the grass grow?
?There.? Sasuke stopped suddenly, and put his mouth against Sakura?s ear to whisper into it. Sakura?s stomach wiggled its way out of her shoes at the contact. ?What are those two snails doing??
Sakura opened her eyes, which had involuntarily closed, and stared at the entangled beasts before her. They were wrapped around each other in a way she had only dreamed of doing with Sasuke, writhing, oozing, every available surface pressed as hard as they could against each other, reared up and ?
She turned away, blushing.
?Sasuke-kun!? She exclaimed, indignantly. ?Why would you show me ?? ?Wait!? Inner Sakura cried desperately. ?Maybe this is his way of telling us that this is what he wants to do to us!? She eyed him speculatively. Yes, he was looking at her with burning curiosity! He was waiting for her reply! He wanted her, like this, like those two snails! This, this was his way of telling her? she leant in, lips puckering slightly.
?Are they attacking each other??
She opened one eye. Then the other.
?Sasuke-kun, are you being serious??
He started to look a little sulky.
?I mean, not that there?s anything wrong with not knowing, it?s perfectly normal considering your?uh?circumstances.? Oh help. He?d been how old when his parents died? Seven? Oh dear.
?Well Sasuke-kun, when one snail and another love each other very much?wait, that?s not right. When a bird and a bee meet?no, that?s not right either. Okay, let?s try this. Sasuke-kun, have you ever had, uh, ?feelings???
?No, I am both a shinobi and an avenger. A ninja must always keep his emotions under control and make the mission ? ?
?No, no, I mean,? Sakura blushed prettily, ?feelings about?me? Or any other girl for that matter.? She interjected hastily. Sasuke blinked. ?Special feelings.?
?I?I think you have excellent chakra control. You have improved greatly, especially in healing. But Sakura, what does this have to do with ? ?
?Argh, you?re an idiot!? Sakura shouted, losing her temper because she was so embarrassed. ?I mean about girls, naked, like in that pervert Kakashi?s books! Have you ever thought about me naked? Touching you, also naked? That?s what those snails are doing, they?re having sex! They?re making babies, restoring their clans, making love, whatever you call it! Like this!? She grabbed him by the front of his shirt and jerked him towards her.
Their lips met and their teeth clicked together. Sakura?s forehead banged painfully against Sasuke?s forehead protector, and their noses bumped.
?Ow!? They both exclaimed.
?My first kiss! Ruined!? Sakura cried. And then she really started to cry. She?d blown it! Her one chance at getting a kiss from Sasuke and it had hurt! She?d put him off women for life, and now he would hate her and tell Naruto and Naruto would try and kiss her and that Ino-pig would make fun of her and?
a warm hand was cupping her cheek.
Sasuke tilted her head up, blushing a fiery red, and planted a quick kiss on her lips.
?Everything?? he coughed releasing her quickly, blushing even harder, and looking away over to the left somewhere. ?Everything takes practice. A good ninja knows this.?
Sakura gaped at him. He had just kissed her! But it had not been nearly good enough. Not long enough for one thing, and now her lips were cold. Slowly, a wicked little smile curved on her lips, as inner Sakura rose to the surface.
?Then let?s practice, Sasuke-kun.?
Unnoticed, the cold moon and the glittering stars shone their blessings as two snails and two lovers discovered bliss.
---DON'T KILL ME!---
Oh man, that was fluffy cheese. Ew and ew and ew. I'd better get so many scans for this Missy *glares* (You know who you are)
Anyway, first post and all that jazz. Comment away!
?Sakura.?
Sakura jerked her head up from where she had been dozing. ?What is it Sasuke-kun?? ?Man this stake-out business is boring.? She thought. Sasuke had demanded that they stay completely silent, and had disappeared without a trace.
But now he was right there in front of her, looking confused.
?Has something happened?? She asked, secretly hoping that he had come to have a little ?love-love? session. ?Yes!? Inner Sakura shouted. ?He is lonely in the cold, cold night and he needs a nice warm girl like me!?
?Follow me.? He whispered.
They sped off into the night, jumping from branch to branch with practised ease. Crickets chirped and birds slumbered, the small and vulnerable animals creeping out under the cover of darkness, whilst the silent killers kept to their hungry vigilance.
Where are Kakashi and Naruto?
Well, staying awake for a growing boy is very hard, and Kakashi had gotten the new book in a series he had been waiting for for a very long time, and reading in the dark was just too difficult, and anyway, who needed to watch these kids watch the grass grow?
?There.? Sasuke stopped suddenly, and put his mouth against Sakura?s ear to whisper into it. Sakura?s stomach wiggled its way out of her shoes at the contact. ?What are those two snails doing??
Sakura opened her eyes, which had involuntarily closed, and stared at the entangled beasts before her. They were wrapped around each other in a way she had only dreamed of doing with Sasuke, writhing, oozing, every available surface pressed as hard as they could against each other, reared up and ?
She turned away, blushing.
?Sasuke-kun!? She exclaimed, indignantly. ?Why would you show me ?? ?Wait!? Inner Sakura cried desperately. ?Maybe this is his way of telling us that this is what he wants to do to us!? She eyed him speculatively. Yes, he was looking at her with burning curiosity! He was waiting for her reply! He wanted her, like this, like those two snails! This, this was his way of telling her? she leant in, lips puckering slightly.
?Are they attacking each other??
She opened one eye. Then the other.
?Sasuke-kun, are you being serious??
He started to look a little sulky.
?I mean, not that there?s anything wrong with not knowing, it?s perfectly normal considering your?uh?circumstances.? Oh help. He?d been how old when his parents died? Seven? Oh dear.
?Well Sasuke-kun, when one snail and another love each other very much?wait, that?s not right. When a bird and a bee meet?no, that?s not right either. Okay, let?s try this. Sasuke-kun, have you ever had, uh, ?feelings???
?No, I am both a shinobi and an avenger. A ninja must always keep his emotions under control and make the mission ? ?
?No, no, I mean,? Sakura blushed prettily, ?feelings about?me? Or any other girl for that matter.? She interjected hastily. Sasuke blinked. ?Special feelings.?
?I?I think you have excellent chakra control. You have improved greatly, especially in healing. But Sakura, what does this have to do with ? ?
?Argh, you?re an idiot!? Sakura shouted, losing her temper because she was so embarrassed. ?I mean about girls, naked, like in that pervert Kakashi?s books! Have you ever thought about me naked? Touching you, also naked? That?s what those snails are doing, they?re having sex! They?re making babies, restoring their clans, making love, whatever you call it! Like this!? She grabbed him by the front of his shirt and jerked him towards her.
Their lips met and their teeth clicked together. Sakura?s forehead banged painfully against Sasuke?s forehead protector, and their noses bumped.
?Ow!? They both exclaimed.
?My first kiss! Ruined!? Sakura cried. And then she really started to cry. She?d blown it! Her one chance at getting a kiss from Sasuke and it had hurt! She?d put him off women for life, and now he would hate her and tell Naruto and Naruto would try and kiss her and that Ino-pig would make fun of her and?
a warm hand was cupping her cheek.
Sasuke tilted her head up, blushing a fiery red, and planted a quick kiss on her lips.
?Everything?? he coughed releasing her quickly, blushing even harder, and looking away over to the left somewhere. ?Everything takes practice. A good ninja knows this.?
Sakura gaped at him. He had just kissed her! But it had not been nearly good enough. Not long enough for one thing, and now her lips were cold. Slowly, a wicked little smile curved on her lips, as inner Sakura rose to the surface.
?Then let?s practice, Sasuke-kun.?
Unnoticed, the cold moon and the glittering stars shone their blessings as two snails and two lovers discovered bliss.
---DON'T KILL ME!---
Oh man, that was fluffy cheese. Ew and ew and ew. I'd better get so many scans for this Missy *glares* (You know who you are)
Anyway, first post and all that jazz. Comment away!
Someone has managed to make a fic in response to the slug challenge, and a very good, cute and funny one too. 
You didn't downplay the snails, even at the end. A true masterpiece ::applaudes::
... well the explaining part after that, SHE CAN HAVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!