Love Among the Ruins 12
Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:56 pm
Sorry.. sorry... I've been seriously preoccupied in the last few months. I'll hopefully remember to post the newest chapters. I'm still waiting for my beta to send me more chapters. If he doesn't reply soon, I may need to find a new beta. 
As for the DJ project, that has also been delayed due to some personal things going on. But I'll try to get working on it. Enjoy!
*************************************************************
Disclaimer: I don?t the GW characters or the music. Then what the hell DO I own? Nothing much really.
Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^
Surprises: There are some. That?s all there is to it. ^_^
Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things.
Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC.
AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins
Act 12: I?ll Say Goodbye
By Sailor Celaeno
[Shall I breathe]
Heero finally left the apartment and began walking. He?d been staring at the four walls of the small apartment he shared with Hilde. He could swear that the walls were closing in on him. He just had to get out before he suffocated in there. Heero decided that walking by the water was what he needed to do. The cool air would really relieve the sensation of doom that swelled over him. ?When will this end?? He kept the question running through his head over and over again as he walked on the pavement.
He approached the lake in the giant park. Relena liked coming here and watch the sun set over the water. She loved the flaming, red sphere of fury that set beneath the sun. Were her feelings like the burning sun?
[Shall I listen?]
There was the shout of laughter in distance and the water softly splashing and flowing under the bridge that Heero stood on. When Relena was alone, he?d watch her from far away. She just stared towards the sun, even after it had set. The moon would start to brighten, but she would just continue staring. ?What was she looking at?? Heero wondered as he watched the sunset.
*****
Relena didn?t quite know what to think. She was just staring at the sunset and felt sad. But for some reason, she just didn?t cry. ?Heero, why did you do this?? Relena would never admit to anyone, not to Duo, not anyone. She loved Heero and hated him too. The sunset was red and slowly sank beneath the horizon. Relena watched quietly with the breeze at her back, and the sounds of laughter and water flowing under the bridge she stood on.
Something about standing here made so much sense to her. There was a promise of peace here, and she wanted to find it. Something to settle her heart. Would the pain in her heart ever go away? Relena watched the beauty of the scenery. The water softly rippled. When the wind blew, there was all this churning and stirring on the water. ?But when the wind settles, there is calm again.? Relena nodded and could understand. She just watched the sunset.
*****
?It?s one of those days where I think about the past. I think about the hellos and good-byes that I?ve said and the faces come and go. I didn?t really want to say goodbye to Duo because then that meant he was out of my life forever. I didn?t want to have him out of my life. I wanted no goodbyes from him.? Hilde sat up in the seat and watched the doctor observing her.
?That?s why you wanted to find him??
?I didn?t want him to be angry with me. I wanted to feel his heart beating in time with mine. I didn?t want to see people?s eyes on me, thinking who knows what from what I did. I didn?t want to see Duo?s eyes full of hate and disgust with me. I wanted him to love me again. It was stupid of me to have such hopes, but I couldn?t help having them. I still loved him.?
*****
[When I walk the street alone]
Hilde had finally arrived on Mars. It didn?t take long for her to find out where Duo could be found. Hilde approached Duo as he walked out of his Martian apartment building. ?Duo,? she said, such tender eyes looking at him sadly.
?Hilde,? Duo glanced at the young woman.
?Duo,? she replied again. He was just as he left her. At least it appeared so, but there was a sharpness in his voice where there was once ease. She had been the harbinger of ruin for him. Now here they were, ex-lovers standing just ten feet from each other, yet never more apart than before.
?What are you doing here?? Duo asked as he pulled on his jacket. He carefully inspected his gun, making sure it was ready for his next mission.
?I wanted to see you again.? Hilde watched him working on his gun like he always did before they headed off on a potentially dangerous mission.
?It?s funny you said that,? he had a smile. ?Just like when Relena said that to He?? Duo stopped as the smile disappeared from his face. He made one last check before putting the gun into the holster. He continued walking and Hilde turned around as he walked past her and towards the front door.
?I love you still, you know?? Hilde watched him sadly.
?There?s little reason for you tell me that at this time. It changes nothing between us,? Duo replied with a sigh. He stopped long enough to speak before continuing his walk.
Hilde pursued him and tried to grab his arm, but he shrugged free.
[you shrink from me?]
?Duo, wait!?
?For what?? he screamed at her. ?What should I fucking wait for, Hilde? There is nothing to wait for. I?m ready to move on. I thought you were too!?
?Not until I could see you again,? Hilde fought back her frustrated tears.
?Well you have,? he marched towards his car in the parking lot.
?Not like this. I didn?t want us to end this conversation like this! I didn?t want you to walk away from me with hate. Can?t you see I didn?t want things to end like this??
?It?s a bit late for that now isn?t it?? he growled. He refused to look at her, but he didn?t move any further.
?Is that all you have to left to say to me?? she said softly.
[you don?t want to express your anguish]
?You can?t even begin to understand what is happening now, Hilde. If only you?d stop thinking about the past and open your eyes to the present, you?d be less foolish than you already are.? Duo shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. ?I?ve discovered something important, and I don?t want to go back.?
[I?m anxious to know]
?Don?t want to go back? What do you mean?? Hilde asked fearfully.
?I?m not going to just say that we can be a couple or have that old life like before. It hurt learning the truth about how you felt. But I?ve realized that I needed to leave you for my own good. I regret nothing.?
[The plan seems to me a little rash]
?So risking your life in a dangerous mission was what you needed?? Hilde shouted angrily. ?Isn?t it a bit much to get back at me??
Duo shook his head and chuckled patronizingly. ?Why must you think of my actions in terms of you? That?s rather selfish of you to assume that of me. If you can be fickle about me, I could fall out of love with you just as easily. We all wake up from our dreams eventually, Hilde.?
[the hope of changing that ungrateful heart]
?What about those times we were there for each other?? Hilde brought up with tender reflection.
?You should have thought of that before, now shouldn?t you? Don?t think you can blame me for ending this. You made your feelings clear enough that night, and I think that?s all there is to it.? Duo said with a coldness that chilled Hilde.
?All right then. You?ve made yourself perfectly understood. I won?t bring this up ever again.?
?You were always stubborn. I?m glad it got through your willful head that just because you do something for love, that it?ll work out. It doesn?t.? Duo continued walking.
Hilde watched him head towards his car. He soon drove away. That was the last time she ever saw him again.
*****
[of infidelity, jealousy, and rage!]
?That was the last time I ever saw him. I still wish it would have ended differently, but that?s over and done with?? Hilde sobbed again.
?And this is how you killed Duo??
?He said he did it to find something within him. But I don?t totally believe that. He wouldn?t have done that if I hadn?t drove him. I know it. He felt all the dark emotions towards me and he held them within him even then,? Hilde sank into her seat.
The doctor cleared his throat. ?Duo is capable of choosing his decisions. Even if you don?t agree with them, he chose to do what he did.?
?Doctor?? Hilde looked at him with a little surprise.
?I had been helping him after Felix and Simon died. I admit that I wondered if there could have been something I could have done. I?m a therapist and it is my job to help my patients deal with their issues. But it didn?t take long for me to remember that we are only human, Hilde. We cannot predict the actions of others nor can we control what decisions people make. We can guide, and we can advise. We are even able to influence, but in the end??
?Duo chose to do a dangerous mission. He chose to risk his life in spite of the risks,? she finished the thought.
Dr. Carlyle nodded. ?Exactly, Hilde. It might not have been the right choice, but it was his choice. For him, his choice is the only right one there can ever be.?
Hilde growled slightly, ?I just??
?Holding anger at yourself isn?t helping you either. Please tell me more.?
?I guess you?re right,? she replied.
?But?? he added.
?But my heart tells me otherwise.?
To be continued? roll credits!
1) ?Mild und leise? from ?Tristan und Isolde?
2) ?La Mamma Morta? from ?Andrea Chenier? by Umberto Giordano
3) ?Mi chiamano Mim?? from ?La Boh?me? by Giacomo Puccini
4) ?Quando men Vo? from ?La Boheme? by Giacomo Puccini
5) ?Dove sono i bei momenti? from ?The Marriage of Figaro? by Mozart A. Mozart
As for the DJ project, that has also been delayed due to some personal things going on. But I'll try to get working on it. Enjoy!
*************************************************************
Disclaimer: I don?t the GW characters or the music. Then what the hell DO I own? Nothing much really.
Pairings: 1xR? 2xH? 1xH? This will be a mystery to the end. ^_^
Surprises: There are some. That?s all there is to it. ^_^
Genres: Drama, angst, some fluff, and other delightful things.
Warnings: Since this is an operafic, my characters will be even more emotional than they would be as in the original series, so they might be OOC.
AN: A shout out to my beta Daniel, and the reviewers. Thanks for the love. ^_^ The brackets indicate opera libretto.
Gundam Wing: Love Among the Ruins
Act 12: I?ll Say Goodbye
By Sailor Celaeno
[Shall I breathe]
Heero finally left the apartment and began walking. He?d been staring at the four walls of the small apartment he shared with Hilde. He could swear that the walls were closing in on him. He just had to get out before he suffocated in there. Heero decided that walking by the water was what he needed to do. The cool air would really relieve the sensation of doom that swelled over him. ?When will this end?? He kept the question running through his head over and over again as he walked on the pavement.
He approached the lake in the giant park. Relena liked coming here and watch the sun set over the water. She loved the flaming, red sphere of fury that set beneath the sun. Were her feelings like the burning sun?
[Shall I listen?]
There was the shout of laughter in distance and the water softly splashing and flowing under the bridge that Heero stood on. When Relena was alone, he?d watch her from far away. She just stared towards the sun, even after it had set. The moon would start to brighten, but she would just continue staring. ?What was she looking at?? Heero wondered as he watched the sunset.
*****
Relena didn?t quite know what to think. She was just staring at the sunset and felt sad. But for some reason, she just didn?t cry. ?Heero, why did you do this?? Relena would never admit to anyone, not to Duo, not anyone. She loved Heero and hated him too. The sunset was red and slowly sank beneath the horizon. Relena watched quietly with the breeze at her back, and the sounds of laughter and water flowing under the bridge she stood on.
Something about standing here made so much sense to her. There was a promise of peace here, and she wanted to find it. Something to settle her heart. Would the pain in her heart ever go away? Relena watched the beauty of the scenery. The water softly rippled. When the wind blew, there was all this churning and stirring on the water. ?But when the wind settles, there is calm again.? Relena nodded and could understand. She just watched the sunset.
*****
?It?s one of those days where I think about the past. I think about the hellos and good-byes that I?ve said and the faces come and go. I didn?t really want to say goodbye to Duo because then that meant he was out of my life forever. I didn?t want to have him out of my life. I wanted no goodbyes from him.? Hilde sat up in the seat and watched the doctor observing her.
?That?s why you wanted to find him??
?I didn?t want him to be angry with me. I wanted to feel his heart beating in time with mine. I didn?t want to see people?s eyes on me, thinking who knows what from what I did. I didn?t want to see Duo?s eyes full of hate and disgust with me. I wanted him to love me again. It was stupid of me to have such hopes, but I couldn?t help having them. I still loved him.?
*****
[When I walk the street alone]
Hilde had finally arrived on Mars. It didn?t take long for her to find out where Duo could be found. Hilde approached Duo as he walked out of his Martian apartment building. ?Duo,? she said, such tender eyes looking at him sadly.
?Hilde,? Duo glanced at the young woman.
?Duo,? she replied again. He was just as he left her. At least it appeared so, but there was a sharpness in his voice where there was once ease. She had been the harbinger of ruin for him. Now here they were, ex-lovers standing just ten feet from each other, yet never more apart than before.
?What are you doing here?? Duo asked as he pulled on his jacket. He carefully inspected his gun, making sure it was ready for his next mission.
?I wanted to see you again.? Hilde watched him working on his gun like he always did before they headed off on a potentially dangerous mission.
?It?s funny you said that,? he had a smile. ?Just like when Relena said that to He?? Duo stopped as the smile disappeared from his face. He made one last check before putting the gun into the holster. He continued walking and Hilde turned around as he walked past her and towards the front door.
?I love you still, you know?? Hilde watched him sadly.
?There?s little reason for you tell me that at this time. It changes nothing between us,? Duo replied with a sigh. He stopped long enough to speak before continuing his walk.
Hilde pursued him and tried to grab his arm, but he shrugged free.
[you shrink from me?]
?Duo, wait!?
?For what?? he screamed at her. ?What should I fucking wait for, Hilde? There is nothing to wait for. I?m ready to move on. I thought you were too!?
?Not until I could see you again,? Hilde fought back her frustrated tears.
?Well you have,? he marched towards his car in the parking lot.
?Not like this. I didn?t want us to end this conversation like this! I didn?t want you to walk away from me with hate. Can?t you see I didn?t want things to end like this??
?It?s a bit late for that now isn?t it?? he growled. He refused to look at her, but he didn?t move any further.
?Is that all you have to left to say to me?? she said softly.
[you don?t want to express your anguish]
?You can?t even begin to understand what is happening now, Hilde. If only you?d stop thinking about the past and open your eyes to the present, you?d be less foolish than you already are.? Duo shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. ?I?ve discovered something important, and I don?t want to go back.?
[I?m anxious to know]
?Don?t want to go back? What do you mean?? Hilde asked fearfully.
?I?m not going to just say that we can be a couple or have that old life like before. It hurt learning the truth about how you felt. But I?ve realized that I needed to leave you for my own good. I regret nothing.?
[The plan seems to me a little rash]
?So risking your life in a dangerous mission was what you needed?? Hilde shouted angrily. ?Isn?t it a bit much to get back at me??
Duo shook his head and chuckled patronizingly. ?Why must you think of my actions in terms of you? That?s rather selfish of you to assume that of me. If you can be fickle about me, I could fall out of love with you just as easily. We all wake up from our dreams eventually, Hilde.?
[the hope of changing that ungrateful heart]
?What about those times we were there for each other?? Hilde brought up with tender reflection.
?You should have thought of that before, now shouldn?t you? Don?t think you can blame me for ending this. You made your feelings clear enough that night, and I think that?s all there is to it.? Duo said with a coldness that chilled Hilde.
?All right then. You?ve made yourself perfectly understood. I won?t bring this up ever again.?
?You were always stubborn. I?m glad it got through your willful head that just because you do something for love, that it?ll work out. It doesn?t.? Duo continued walking.
Hilde watched him head towards his car. He soon drove away. That was the last time she ever saw him again.
*****
[of infidelity, jealousy, and rage!]
?That was the last time I ever saw him. I still wish it would have ended differently, but that?s over and done with?? Hilde sobbed again.
?And this is how you killed Duo??
?He said he did it to find something within him. But I don?t totally believe that. He wouldn?t have done that if I hadn?t drove him. I know it. He felt all the dark emotions towards me and he held them within him even then,? Hilde sank into her seat.
The doctor cleared his throat. ?Duo is capable of choosing his decisions. Even if you don?t agree with them, he chose to do what he did.?
?Doctor?? Hilde looked at him with a little surprise.
?I had been helping him after Felix and Simon died. I admit that I wondered if there could have been something I could have done. I?m a therapist and it is my job to help my patients deal with their issues. But it didn?t take long for me to remember that we are only human, Hilde. We cannot predict the actions of others nor can we control what decisions people make. We can guide, and we can advise. We are even able to influence, but in the end??
?Duo chose to do a dangerous mission. He chose to risk his life in spite of the risks,? she finished the thought.
Dr. Carlyle nodded. ?Exactly, Hilde. It might not have been the right choice, but it was his choice. For him, his choice is the only right one there can ever be.?
Hilde growled slightly, ?I just??
?Holding anger at yourself isn?t helping you either. Please tell me more.?
?I guess you?re right,? she replied.
?But?? he added.
?But my heart tells me otherwise.?
To be continued? roll credits!
1) ?Mild und leise? from ?Tristan und Isolde?
2) ?La Mamma Morta? from ?Andrea Chenier? by Umberto Giordano
3) ?Mi chiamano Mim?? from ?La Boh?me? by Giacomo Puccini
4) ?Quando men Vo? from ?La Boheme? by Giacomo Puccini
5) ?Dove sono i bei momenti? from ?The Marriage of Figaro? by Mozart A. Mozart
Tell me soon?