Behind Darkness' Mask 10/10
Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2004 12:10 am
Guess what? SURPRISE! This is the last chapter! When I wrote chapter nine, I wasn?t certain, but it turned out to be ten chapters dead even. ^_^ Thank yous are at the end of this chapter, but I?ll say it here too. Thanks for reading, guys! Here?s the end.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing.
*~Behind Darkness? Mask~* Chapter 10
Relena was starting to think Marita was right; maybe she had gone mad. Maybe, she pondered as she tapped her pen against her home desk in the Sank Kingdom palace, she had gone entirely insane and the Preventers would have to lock her up. She felt that way.
Leaning back in her chair, Relena threw down her pen. She also felt that if she didn?t get away from her work and do something she would have a mental breakdown, if one weren?t already in process. Because surely she was crazy to be thinking the way she was.
Regret. It was the top word of Relena?s vocabulary right now. She regretted so many things of the last several weeks; letting Heero convince her to get away from work just so he could get rejected, going to Quatre and Sarah?s party, dancing with the blasted man in black?falling in love with him?and it had been Heero! The entire time it had been! She regretted her curiosity, how she had allowed herself to be swept away by some bloody fake fairytale, and how she had succumbed to that fairytale.
It wasn?t the regret that was making her crazy though. Oh no, it was just what Relena didn?t regret. Because whereas she did cringe at how she had let alcohol influence her into seducing one who could have been a perfect stranger?now that she knew it had been Heero Yuy, the didn?t feel so regretful.
Every time she came to that conclusion, the blood dropped out of her face and sort of rippled back to her heart, making it beat more furiously. It was so strange thinking that way. When Relena had thought about Heero, she?d always thought of how she didn?t know him very well. How he had saved her life multiple times after coincidentally threatening to end it. Or how he had sworn to protect her despite claiming he didn?t have anything to protect.
Or how he had looked so miserable when he?d walked away to leap over the wall in the garden.
Relena?s teeth clamped together. What in God?s name could she do? She was furious with Heero, absolutely raging! How dare he?how dare he trick her like that? What man had the gall to deceive a woman he supposed loved like that?!
And why, Relena wondered desperately, was it more hurtful than embarrassing? She?d never had any particular delusions about her first time having sex. She?d always just figured when it happened, it would happen. But she?d at least want to remember it.
That was where the regret came back. Damn alcohol. How different would things be if she had drank water instead of champagne? If she had kept her head on her shoulders? Would she still ?love? that phony Prince of Darkness? Would Heero have revealed himself even if they hadn?t?
?Shit,? Relena murmured, too sunken into herself to hear the phone ring. When Pagan knocked on her door and came in a few minutes later, she forced herself to smile at him. ?Yes, Pagan??
The old butler wasn?t fooled by his mistress?s cheerful look, but chose to not comment on it. Whatever Relena felt like discussing with him, she would. What she didn?t would remain private. ?I?m sorry to bother you, madam. But you?ve a call from Master Quatre Raberba Winner.?
?Oh.? These damned Gundam pilots. Trowa had gotten a day off today and she had been hoping that she wouldn?t have to deal with any of them for at least twenty-four hours. But she couldn?t refuse Quatre, so she nodded and continued to smile. ?Thank you, Pagan, I?ll take it in here.?
?Yes, ma?am.? Bowing slightly, Pagan backed out of the room and closed the door, fretting for the princess.
Relena closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath, anticipating the look in the rich man?s eyes before she turned on the vidcom on her desk. ?Quatre.?
?Relena.? Sure enough, pity and apology both were set in the blonde?s aqua-colored orbs. ?How are you??
?How are you?? she evaded with the smoothness that made her a good politician. ?Is Sarah ready to burst yet??
He smiled. ?Any day now. And answer my question. How are you doing??
All pretenses faded and Relena?s brow knit. ?You?re a smart man, or so I?ve always figured.?
?I?m that, yes.? Quatre?s smile remained, but now his eyebrows lowered in challenge. ?Just like you?re a smart woman. So you know I?ve called to ask you something.?
Relena only folded her arms and tilted her chin upward to look down her nose as him. ?Well??
?I want you to come watch a basketball game with me.?
The statement befuddled her for a moment, then Relena snorted. ?What??
?You heard me.?
?What in God?s name do you want me to go to a basketball game for? They don?t even play a whole lot of that here in Sank.?
?I know some guys who do,? Quatre told her. ?And they?d appreciate an audience. Besides, you?ve been working yourself too hard and frankly, I need to get away from my wife for a little while.?
?Whatever grief she?s causing you,? Relena retorted, ?you deserve every bit of it.?
Quatre?s mouth turned down. ?I was trying to help a friend, Relena.?
?By lying to me?? she countered angrily. ?By making me believe in someone that never existed? If you wanted to help Heero, you could have introduced him to some women you know.?
?I wasn?t?? Quatre shook his head at her expression. ?I can see you won?t accept anything I tell you. Fine then. At least come with me, please. Loosen up. Both of us need to.?
Relena pressed her lips together. Both of them being highly participating politicians, she had grown close to Quatre over the course of the last ten years. She had stood in the bridesmaid line at his wedding. She had even toasted him the night he had become Colony leader. She honestly liked spending time with the blond ex-Gundam pilot. But?
She sighed. ?Not for long, Quatre.?
Quatre grinned. ?I?ll pick you up in twenty minutes.?
---
Relena was wishing she had changed her mind by the time Quatre had arrived in his casual green convertible. She?d changed into clothes more suitable for a basketball game; blue jean shorts and a slightly baggy sky-blue tank top. Her hair was pulled back into a simple high ponytail. Quatre himself wore plain khaki pants and a black polo shirt.
On the way, they talked about anything but politics ? the weather, the latest show at the New Port theatre, last night?s old movie marathon. Quatre even confessed that he wanted to name his child Dylan if it was a boy. Sarah was holding out for Gwendolyn for a girl.
Then they both slipped into companionable silence, or at least it was companionable until Relena remembered what she had only been able to stop thinking about for the last ten minutes.
?I never meant to upset you,? Quatre said suddenly as he pulled into an unfamiliar parking lot.
?I know.? Trying, Relena sent him a smile, one he returned. Then she looked at the building they had come to, or lack thereof.
There was only a line of outside basketball courts with point lines and boundaries painted onto blacktop. Several of the goal posts had been recently repainted, but the nets hadn?t yet gotten replaced, and some of the posts only had a metal ring.
Relena frowned. What was?
And then she saw the four of them, dribbling and passing. Duo?s braid swung, around his waist as he turned and bounced the ball between his legs as he whirled away from Wufei, whose teeth were clenched as he concentrated on trying to keep up with the former God of Death.
Trowa, her always-familiar bodyguard, had his eyebrows lowered as he kept his elbows close to his body and he knees bent and he walked backward to block off?
Relena gasped and pressed a hand to her heart, then turned to her companion accusingly. ?Quatre!?
Quatre winced slightly but walked around the fender of his car and took her arm. With his ingrained knowledge of muscle resistance, he pulled on her hard enough to make her move, but not enough to cause any pain. ?It won?t be so bad. You?re just watching them with me.? He sat her down on a set of wooden bleachers with a rusty network of metal supports. Then he shot her a very straightforward look. ?Don?t run away.?
Her blood boiled at the intended challenge. ?Why would I?? she seethed, flicking glances at the Japanese man who had just managed to steal around Trowa. ?I?m not at all afraid of him.?
?Good.? So saying, Quatre let go of her arm and leaned forward on his knees, smiling as Wufei cursed when Duo shot and scored two points. ?They?re getting better.?
Relena blinked rapidly, not really knowing what to think. 01, 02, 03, and 05 hadn?t noticed they had come yet apparently. They played on and on, challenging each other, sometime vocally taunting as they matched up to test skill and speed. Like?normal boys.
Men, she corrected herself. Blatantly competitive men. It wasn?t a surprise Quatre wasn?t playing as he had always tended to be naturally more closed. But the others had fought hard during a war, at time even enjoying it, and by the looks of things, hadn?t completely stopped yet.
It was strange, to say the least, for Relena. To be able to watch them like that, as though none of them had ever in their life been soldiers. To be able to regard them as normal people than as the heroes she had always thought of them as even when no one else had. It felt awkward, a little amusing, and still pleasing to know they had all found some sort of comfort level.
Relena?s eyes landed on Heero and remained there. He moved quickly, muscles bunching as he ran to snatch up a rebound from Wufei?s missed shot, his biceps flexing as he backed up to check it with Trowa. But beyond the inevitably attractiveness of his body, it was his face that caught her full attention. It was still troubled, something that didn?t surprise her, but it was nearly totally filled with emotion. The way his jaw was firmed showed determination, and in his eyes flared something that she was positive was satisfaction. Well, maybe half-satisfaction.
?Isn?t it weird?? Quatre?s voice said to her suddenly. He sounded loud, though he was speaking softly, and Relena had to jerk herself out of her mind and looked at him.
?What is??
?Them looking like they do now.? He shook his head slightly. ?You saw them all in the war, just a few years ago. In one way or another, we were all haunted?still are somewhat. But now, after a decade of peace?? He chuckled a little. ?Speaking for all of us; there?s more. There?s more to feel and to know for all of us. When we were soldiers, all we had was our missions and our goals and the things we wanted to protect. Now we have all of those, with a new mission and new goals?but more. So much more.? Quatre smiled and set his hand on her shoulder. ?You have that too now, don?t you??
Relena paused and thought. During the war, she?d had everything taken away from her and had slowly regained it. Her respect, her home, her life, her dreams. And now, more than that, she?d regained her family even. Milliardo and Noin and the upcoming niece or nephew she was to have within months had given her more joy than she had claimed to know as a youth. And now, despite all of the flaws and the heartache and the pain?when she looked at him? Relena lifted her head and once again focused on Yuy?s precise gaze.
Something inside of her opened like a flower in sunlight. Because suddenly, resulting from almost nothing, everything made perfect sense.
From her brother and his wife she had family. From Quatre and others she had friendship. From Preventers and people like Trowa who risked their lives for her safety, she had dependability.
What could drive a man to near madness and force him to wear a ridiculous costume and fuel him to betray trust because of just one single hope? And, almost giddily, she knew it.
From Heero? Oh God, from Heero she had real love. Love that was something she had wanted?hadn?t even truly believed she wanted for the longest time.
She had told Damien she didn?t know Heero Yuy. What had that been but rambled words? What didn?t she know about Heero Yuy? Perhaps she had no idea what he had spent his time doing these last so many years, but that was trivial. She knew, didn?t she, that Heero was a respectable man. She knew he had courage and spirit and obvious caring. She knew ? amazingly, she knew ? he had love that he could give her and, more than that, wanted give her.
She pressed the back of her hand to her lips. Everything inside her trembled with an energy she could never begin to describe.
?Quatre,? she murmured. ?I??
?TWENTY to EIGHTEEN!? Duo?s always-loud voice suddenly yelled. ?That?s it, guys, you lose. Damn, Yuy, where the hell have you been? This is the first time in six months that I haven?t gotten my ass kicked.?
Heero pulled the collar of his green T-shirt up to wipe his forehead with it. ?Don?t let it get to your head,? he advised gruffly. ?I need to get a shower and get on my shuttle.? He had decided it last night, in the darkness of Duo and Hilde?s living room, at exactly three-twenty-seven in the morning. With him close to her, Relena would never be happy again. And even if it wasn?t because of or for him, Heero wanted to see her smile.
When he turned to head to Duo?s car, he stopped, suddenly forgetting his body temperature was skyrocketing as every inch of him went cold.
She sat next to Quatre, her posture perfect even though she was just sitting on a half-broken wood bleacher. Clean and dressed well, she made him think of things he had sworn he would forget. Like how he knew what she looked and felt like underneath the shorts and tank and what the neat waterfall of hair felt like when it was down and between his fingers.
Her name escaped him before he could even try to stop it.
?Relena??
Why did her eyes have to be that way when she looked at him? Cool, refreshing even, from everything he had pitted himself against emotionally these last horrific days. He could still see her eyes, dark and dedicated to him when they had?
No. That moment, that night, wasn?t his to cherish. She had practically demanded that back from him, and though he couldn?t give back the time or the events, he had tried at least to give back the memory by forgetting it so that he couldn?t even fall back on it in later years.
?Hey, princess!? Still annoying loud, Duo bounded over to the two blonds? observing place. ?Whatcha think of the game? Me and Yuy whooped a?butt,? he corrected himself, to Relena?s hidden amusement.
?I think you did fine, Duo,? she told him honestly.
Duo blinked and let his shoulders relaxed. He had kind of been expecting the cold shoulder treatment for his inclusion in the big charade they?d all played, but had been thrown off by her presence in the first place. Quatre always came to watch them play every month, but Relena hadn?t even know about it, he?d been sure. What the hell was Quatre doing?
Well, pilot 04 was smiling in a way that wasn?t the least bit forced, so Duo had to assume that his friend had some kind of card up his sleeve. Quatre was the most human of them all anyway.
Tossing a glance over his shoulder, he saw a very pissed Wufei glugging from a water bottle near the goal post. Trowa was leaning against the post, his arms crossed, watching them. When Relena looked at him, he inclined his head in acknowledgement.
Having always been blunt, Heero asked in sincere confusion, ?Why are you here??
Relena turned to him again, and folded her hand in front of her, not surprised to find them shaking. Looking up at his tightly drawn face, she shrugged. ?I was invited to watch a basketball game.? She shot a glance at Quatre, who only shifted his weight to another foot. ?I need to get out of my office.?
Heero nodded in plain comprehension. ?And you agreed to come see us??
?I didn?t know it would be you,? Relena told him, ?although I suppose I should have. When are you all going to give up? What do I have to do??
The pilots of Wing, Deathscythe, and Sandrock all tensed. Whatever maelstrom was in store for them, it hadn?t been wholly unanticipated.
?Do I have to do this?? Confidently, Relena took two steps forward, lifted her hands to Heero lightly damp face, and fused her lips to his.
The basketball court fell utterly silent. Heero?s eyes hadn?t closed, unlike Relena?s. He hadn?t moved a millimeter. He just stood there, soundlessly shell-shocked. And she she pulled away, he remained the same.
Relena swung a pointed glance at Duo. ?Well??
Duo blinked a few times, then put his hands on his hips. ?Goddamned time!? he whooped, then proceeded with a few catcalls that had Quatre grinning, Trowa smirking, and Wufei rolling his eyes.
In the thick of the cloud that had filled Heero muddled brain, he managed to forge a sentence, his voice deep as his mouth tingled in an uncustomary way. ?I don?t understand.?
Relena smiled and kept her hand on his face. ?I do. The day you came to me and I told you I?d never loved you? That wasn?t a lie. I never, ever had. When I told the Prince of Darkness I loved him, that wasn?t a lie either. I did love him. And then, after seeing you today, I figured it out.? Her palms slipped down to his shoulders. ?You are that prince. He?s you; you?re him. So, in a way, I love and don?t love both of you. I don?t love the deception you gave me, but I love the man who gave it.? A rich laugh bubbled up from her. ?I don?t know for how long; maybe from the night you asked me to dance with you in your stupid black getup, but somehow??
Heero didn?t need her to finish. He got it now. ?You do love me,? he repeated, and she nodded. He didn?t know how to react. For several seconds he simply stood staring at her.
?And if you still want to love me at all,? Relena went on, ?you?ll forget that shuttle you were talking about and this time, you?ll stay.?
Heero continued to stare. But then he dropped the basketball he was still holding, and as it bounced-bounced-bounced away, he grabbed her and pressed her against him. Soon he felt something wet join the dried sweat on his shirt and he reached up to dash the tears from Relena?s cheeks.
Slowly, he smiled. ?I?ll stay.? A promise. Bending over, he made up for the kiss he hadn?t responded to earlier.
As Duo?s cheers died down and they broke away from each other, a ringing sound was heard and Quatre pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. ?Sarah?? he said. There was a pause, and then the Winner son?s eyes widened.
?What do you MEAN you?re going into labor?!?
While Quatre went into a small panic attack, Wufei and Trowa rushed over and a unanimous agreement was made as they all rushed to their cars. Heero?s hand caught Relena?s as the Vice Foreign Minister murmured soothingly to Quatre. When the three of them approached the convertible, Relena hurried Quatre into the back seat and tossed the keys to Heero.
?You drive,? she explained. ?On the way to the hospital, I?m going to tell you again that I love you.?
------------------------------------------
That?s the end! Thank you, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, who has ever read this story, even if you haven?t reviewed. But if you?ve reviewed, you get double thanks. This fic has been going since September 25, 2002 and now that it?s done I feel so weightless. (Well, not weightless, I?ve got six more fics still in progress, haha.) But I certainly feel lighter!
Thanks again for all the great comments and criticism. I hope each of you will review one last time.
Love to all,
GG
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing.
*~Behind Darkness? Mask~* Chapter 10
Relena was starting to think Marita was right; maybe she had gone mad. Maybe, she pondered as she tapped her pen against her home desk in the Sank Kingdom palace, she had gone entirely insane and the Preventers would have to lock her up. She felt that way.
Leaning back in her chair, Relena threw down her pen. She also felt that if she didn?t get away from her work and do something she would have a mental breakdown, if one weren?t already in process. Because surely she was crazy to be thinking the way she was.
Regret. It was the top word of Relena?s vocabulary right now. She regretted so many things of the last several weeks; letting Heero convince her to get away from work just so he could get rejected, going to Quatre and Sarah?s party, dancing with the blasted man in black?falling in love with him?and it had been Heero! The entire time it had been! She regretted her curiosity, how she had allowed herself to be swept away by some bloody fake fairytale, and how she had succumbed to that fairytale.
It wasn?t the regret that was making her crazy though. Oh no, it was just what Relena didn?t regret. Because whereas she did cringe at how she had let alcohol influence her into seducing one who could have been a perfect stranger?now that she knew it had been Heero Yuy, the didn?t feel so regretful.
Every time she came to that conclusion, the blood dropped out of her face and sort of rippled back to her heart, making it beat more furiously. It was so strange thinking that way. When Relena had thought about Heero, she?d always thought of how she didn?t know him very well. How he had saved her life multiple times after coincidentally threatening to end it. Or how he had sworn to protect her despite claiming he didn?t have anything to protect.
Or how he had looked so miserable when he?d walked away to leap over the wall in the garden.
Relena?s teeth clamped together. What in God?s name could she do? She was furious with Heero, absolutely raging! How dare he?how dare he trick her like that? What man had the gall to deceive a woman he supposed loved like that?!
And why, Relena wondered desperately, was it more hurtful than embarrassing? She?d never had any particular delusions about her first time having sex. She?d always just figured when it happened, it would happen. But she?d at least want to remember it.
That was where the regret came back. Damn alcohol. How different would things be if she had drank water instead of champagne? If she had kept her head on her shoulders? Would she still ?love? that phony Prince of Darkness? Would Heero have revealed himself even if they hadn?t?
?Shit,? Relena murmured, too sunken into herself to hear the phone ring. When Pagan knocked on her door and came in a few minutes later, she forced herself to smile at him. ?Yes, Pagan??
The old butler wasn?t fooled by his mistress?s cheerful look, but chose to not comment on it. Whatever Relena felt like discussing with him, she would. What she didn?t would remain private. ?I?m sorry to bother you, madam. But you?ve a call from Master Quatre Raberba Winner.?
?Oh.? These damned Gundam pilots. Trowa had gotten a day off today and she had been hoping that she wouldn?t have to deal with any of them for at least twenty-four hours. But she couldn?t refuse Quatre, so she nodded and continued to smile. ?Thank you, Pagan, I?ll take it in here.?
?Yes, ma?am.? Bowing slightly, Pagan backed out of the room and closed the door, fretting for the princess.
Relena closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath, anticipating the look in the rich man?s eyes before she turned on the vidcom on her desk. ?Quatre.?
?Relena.? Sure enough, pity and apology both were set in the blonde?s aqua-colored orbs. ?How are you??
?How are you?? she evaded with the smoothness that made her a good politician. ?Is Sarah ready to burst yet??
He smiled. ?Any day now. And answer my question. How are you doing??
All pretenses faded and Relena?s brow knit. ?You?re a smart man, or so I?ve always figured.?
?I?m that, yes.? Quatre?s smile remained, but now his eyebrows lowered in challenge. ?Just like you?re a smart woman. So you know I?ve called to ask you something.?
Relena only folded her arms and tilted her chin upward to look down her nose as him. ?Well??
?I want you to come watch a basketball game with me.?
The statement befuddled her for a moment, then Relena snorted. ?What??
?You heard me.?
?What in God?s name do you want me to go to a basketball game for? They don?t even play a whole lot of that here in Sank.?
?I know some guys who do,? Quatre told her. ?And they?d appreciate an audience. Besides, you?ve been working yourself too hard and frankly, I need to get away from my wife for a little while.?
?Whatever grief she?s causing you,? Relena retorted, ?you deserve every bit of it.?
Quatre?s mouth turned down. ?I was trying to help a friend, Relena.?
?By lying to me?? she countered angrily. ?By making me believe in someone that never existed? If you wanted to help Heero, you could have introduced him to some women you know.?
?I wasn?t?? Quatre shook his head at her expression. ?I can see you won?t accept anything I tell you. Fine then. At least come with me, please. Loosen up. Both of us need to.?
Relena pressed her lips together. Both of them being highly participating politicians, she had grown close to Quatre over the course of the last ten years. She had stood in the bridesmaid line at his wedding. She had even toasted him the night he had become Colony leader. She honestly liked spending time with the blond ex-Gundam pilot. But?
She sighed. ?Not for long, Quatre.?
Quatre grinned. ?I?ll pick you up in twenty minutes.?
---
Relena was wishing she had changed her mind by the time Quatre had arrived in his casual green convertible. She?d changed into clothes more suitable for a basketball game; blue jean shorts and a slightly baggy sky-blue tank top. Her hair was pulled back into a simple high ponytail. Quatre himself wore plain khaki pants and a black polo shirt.
On the way, they talked about anything but politics ? the weather, the latest show at the New Port theatre, last night?s old movie marathon. Quatre even confessed that he wanted to name his child Dylan if it was a boy. Sarah was holding out for Gwendolyn for a girl.
Then they both slipped into companionable silence, or at least it was companionable until Relena remembered what she had only been able to stop thinking about for the last ten minutes.
?I never meant to upset you,? Quatre said suddenly as he pulled into an unfamiliar parking lot.
?I know.? Trying, Relena sent him a smile, one he returned. Then she looked at the building they had come to, or lack thereof.
There was only a line of outside basketball courts with point lines and boundaries painted onto blacktop. Several of the goal posts had been recently repainted, but the nets hadn?t yet gotten replaced, and some of the posts only had a metal ring.
Relena frowned. What was?
And then she saw the four of them, dribbling and passing. Duo?s braid swung, around his waist as he turned and bounced the ball between his legs as he whirled away from Wufei, whose teeth were clenched as he concentrated on trying to keep up with the former God of Death.
Trowa, her always-familiar bodyguard, had his eyebrows lowered as he kept his elbows close to his body and he knees bent and he walked backward to block off?
Relena gasped and pressed a hand to her heart, then turned to her companion accusingly. ?Quatre!?
Quatre winced slightly but walked around the fender of his car and took her arm. With his ingrained knowledge of muscle resistance, he pulled on her hard enough to make her move, but not enough to cause any pain. ?It won?t be so bad. You?re just watching them with me.? He sat her down on a set of wooden bleachers with a rusty network of metal supports. Then he shot her a very straightforward look. ?Don?t run away.?
Her blood boiled at the intended challenge. ?Why would I?? she seethed, flicking glances at the Japanese man who had just managed to steal around Trowa. ?I?m not at all afraid of him.?
?Good.? So saying, Quatre let go of her arm and leaned forward on his knees, smiling as Wufei cursed when Duo shot and scored two points. ?They?re getting better.?
Relena blinked rapidly, not really knowing what to think. 01, 02, 03, and 05 hadn?t noticed they had come yet apparently. They played on and on, challenging each other, sometime vocally taunting as they matched up to test skill and speed. Like?normal boys.
Men, she corrected herself. Blatantly competitive men. It wasn?t a surprise Quatre wasn?t playing as he had always tended to be naturally more closed. But the others had fought hard during a war, at time even enjoying it, and by the looks of things, hadn?t completely stopped yet.
It was strange, to say the least, for Relena. To be able to watch them like that, as though none of them had ever in their life been soldiers. To be able to regard them as normal people than as the heroes she had always thought of them as even when no one else had. It felt awkward, a little amusing, and still pleasing to know they had all found some sort of comfort level.
Relena?s eyes landed on Heero and remained there. He moved quickly, muscles bunching as he ran to snatch up a rebound from Wufei?s missed shot, his biceps flexing as he backed up to check it with Trowa. But beyond the inevitably attractiveness of his body, it was his face that caught her full attention. It was still troubled, something that didn?t surprise her, but it was nearly totally filled with emotion. The way his jaw was firmed showed determination, and in his eyes flared something that she was positive was satisfaction. Well, maybe half-satisfaction.
?Isn?t it weird?? Quatre?s voice said to her suddenly. He sounded loud, though he was speaking softly, and Relena had to jerk herself out of her mind and looked at him.
?What is??
?Them looking like they do now.? He shook his head slightly. ?You saw them all in the war, just a few years ago. In one way or another, we were all haunted?still are somewhat. But now, after a decade of peace?? He chuckled a little. ?Speaking for all of us; there?s more. There?s more to feel and to know for all of us. When we were soldiers, all we had was our missions and our goals and the things we wanted to protect. Now we have all of those, with a new mission and new goals?but more. So much more.? Quatre smiled and set his hand on her shoulder. ?You have that too now, don?t you??
Relena paused and thought. During the war, she?d had everything taken away from her and had slowly regained it. Her respect, her home, her life, her dreams. And now, more than that, she?d regained her family even. Milliardo and Noin and the upcoming niece or nephew she was to have within months had given her more joy than she had claimed to know as a youth. And now, despite all of the flaws and the heartache and the pain?when she looked at him? Relena lifted her head and once again focused on Yuy?s precise gaze.
Something inside of her opened like a flower in sunlight. Because suddenly, resulting from almost nothing, everything made perfect sense.
From her brother and his wife she had family. From Quatre and others she had friendship. From Preventers and people like Trowa who risked their lives for her safety, she had dependability.
What could drive a man to near madness and force him to wear a ridiculous costume and fuel him to betray trust because of just one single hope? And, almost giddily, she knew it.
From Heero? Oh God, from Heero she had real love. Love that was something she had wanted?hadn?t even truly believed she wanted for the longest time.
She had told Damien she didn?t know Heero Yuy. What had that been but rambled words? What didn?t she know about Heero Yuy? Perhaps she had no idea what he had spent his time doing these last so many years, but that was trivial. She knew, didn?t she, that Heero was a respectable man. She knew he had courage and spirit and obvious caring. She knew ? amazingly, she knew ? he had love that he could give her and, more than that, wanted give her.
She pressed the back of her hand to her lips. Everything inside her trembled with an energy she could never begin to describe.
?Quatre,? she murmured. ?I??
?TWENTY to EIGHTEEN!? Duo?s always-loud voice suddenly yelled. ?That?s it, guys, you lose. Damn, Yuy, where the hell have you been? This is the first time in six months that I haven?t gotten my ass kicked.?
Heero pulled the collar of his green T-shirt up to wipe his forehead with it. ?Don?t let it get to your head,? he advised gruffly. ?I need to get a shower and get on my shuttle.? He had decided it last night, in the darkness of Duo and Hilde?s living room, at exactly three-twenty-seven in the morning. With him close to her, Relena would never be happy again. And even if it wasn?t because of or for him, Heero wanted to see her smile.
When he turned to head to Duo?s car, he stopped, suddenly forgetting his body temperature was skyrocketing as every inch of him went cold.
She sat next to Quatre, her posture perfect even though she was just sitting on a half-broken wood bleacher. Clean and dressed well, she made him think of things he had sworn he would forget. Like how he knew what she looked and felt like underneath the shorts and tank and what the neat waterfall of hair felt like when it was down and between his fingers.
Her name escaped him before he could even try to stop it.
?Relena??
Why did her eyes have to be that way when she looked at him? Cool, refreshing even, from everything he had pitted himself against emotionally these last horrific days. He could still see her eyes, dark and dedicated to him when they had?
No. That moment, that night, wasn?t his to cherish. She had practically demanded that back from him, and though he couldn?t give back the time or the events, he had tried at least to give back the memory by forgetting it so that he couldn?t even fall back on it in later years.
?Hey, princess!? Still annoying loud, Duo bounded over to the two blonds? observing place. ?Whatcha think of the game? Me and Yuy whooped a?butt,? he corrected himself, to Relena?s hidden amusement.
?I think you did fine, Duo,? she told him honestly.
Duo blinked and let his shoulders relaxed. He had kind of been expecting the cold shoulder treatment for his inclusion in the big charade they?d all played, but had been thrown off by her presence in the first place. Quatre always came to watch them play every month, but Relena hadn?t even know about it, he?d been sure. What the hell was Quatre doing?
Well, pilot 04 was smiling in a way that wasn?t the least bit forced, so Duo had to assume that his friend had some kind of card up his sleeve. Quatre was the most human of them all anyway.
Tossing a glance over his shoulder, he saw a very pissed Wufei glugging from a water bottle near the goal post. Trowa was leaning against the post, his arms crossed, watching them. When Relena looked at him, he inclined his head in acknowledgement.
Having always been blunt, Heero asked in sincere confusion, ?Why are you here??
Relena turned to him again, and folded her hand in front of her, not surprised to find them shaking. Looking up at his tightly drawn face, she shrugged. ?I was invited to watch a basketball game.? She shot a glance at Quatre, who only shifted his weight to another foot. ?I need to get out of my office.?
Heero nodded in plain comprehension. ?And you agreed to come see us??
?I didn?t know it would be you,? Relena told him, ?although I suppose I should have. When are you all going to give up? What do I have to do??
The pilots of Wing, Deathscythe, and Sandrock all tensed. Whatever maelstrom was in store for them, it hadn?t been wholly unanticipated.
?Do I have to do this?? Confidently, Relena took two steps forward, lifted her hands to Heero lightly damp face, and fused her lips to his.
The basketball court fell utterly silent. Heero?s eyes hadn?t closed, unlike Relena?s. He hadn?t moved a millimeter. He just stood there, soundlessly shell-shocked. And she she pulled away, he remained the same.
Relena swung a pointed glance at Duo. ?Well??
Duo blinked a few times, then put his hands on his hips. ?Goddamned time!? he whooped, then proceeded with a few catcalls that had Quatre grinning, Trowa smirking, and Wufei rolling his eyes.
In the thick of the cloud that had filled Heero muddled brain, he managed to forge a sentence, his voice deep as his mouth tingled in an uncustomary way. ?I don?t understand.?
Relena smiled and kept her hand on his face. ?I do. The day you came to me and I told you I?d never loved you? That wasn?t a lie. I never, ever had. When I told the Prince of Darkness I loved him, that wasn?t a lie either. I did love him. And then, after seeing you today, I figured it out.? Her palms slipped down to his shoulders. ?You are that prince. He?s you; you?re him. So, in a way, I love and don?t love both of you. I don?t love the deception you gave me, but I love the man who gave it.? A rich laugh bubbled up from her. ?I don?t know for how long; maybe from the night you asked me to dance with you in your stupid black getup, but somehow??
Heero didn?t need her to finish. He got it now. ?You do love me,? he repeated, and she nodded. He didn?t know how to react. For several seconds he simply stood staring at her.
?And if you still want to love me at all,? Relena went on, ?you?ll forget that shuttle you were talking about and this time, you?ll stay.?
Heero continued to stare. But then he dropped the basketball he was still holding, and as it bounced-bounced-bounced away, he grabbed her and pressed her against him. Soon he felt something wet join the dried sweat on his shirt and he reached up to dash the tears from Relena?s cheeks.
Slowly, he smiled. ?I?ll stay.? A promise. Bending over, he made up for the kiss he hadn?t responded to earlier.
As Duo?s cheers died down and they broke away from each other, a ringing sound was heard and Quatre pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. ?Sarah?? he said. There was a pause, and then the Winner son?s eyes widened.
?What do you MEAN you?re going into labor?!?
While Quatre went into a small panic attack, Wufei and Trowa rushed over and a unanimous agreement was made as they all rushed to their cars. Heero?s hand caught Relena?s as the Vice Foreign Minister murmured soothingly to Quatre. When the three of them approached the convertible, Relena hurried Quatre into the back seat and tossed the keys to Heero.
?You drive,? she explained. ?On the way to the hospital, I?m going to tell you again that I love you.?
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That?s the end! Thank you, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, who has ever read this story, even if you haven?t reviewed. But if you?ve reviewed, you get double thanks. This fic has been going since September 25, 2002 and now that it?s done I feel so weightless. (Well, not weightless, I?ve got six more fics still in progress, haha.) But I certainly feel lighter!
Thanks again for all the great comments and criticism. I hope each of you will review one last time.
Love to all,
GG