If Only (9-11)
Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 4:45 pm
~ I know I haven't posted in a _long_ time, and I'm really sorry about that. Have no fear, I am not dead (yet). I'm just a little overwhelmed at the moment. I've got three other fics besides this one that I'm writing. Not only that, but it's finals time. I promise that as soon as finals are over, chapters will be coming out a lot quicker. Anyway, I hope you enjoy
this latest installment!
Disclaimer: I do not, and never will own Gundam Wing or any of its characters.
If Only
Part VIIII (Conflicting Reactions)
By: Penybright
When Sara hugged Heero, he tried to pull away, expecting Sara to hit him. When he realized that Sara had no intention of hurting him, Heero relaxed slightly. He wasn't quite sure how to react when Sara began to cry. Comforting was not something Heero had encountered frequently. Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around Sara, hugging her back almost fearfully.
Sara pulled back, looking into Heero's eyes, searching for something.
"Why don't you come in and we'll talk," she suggested with a smile. Heero turned to the others, and they all nodded.
"We'll be out here if you need us," Relena said, smiling softly.
Sara tugged on Heero's hand, gently pulling him into the house, and closing the door behind her.
"It's so wonderful to see you after all these years!"
"Why?" Heero asked numbly. "Why would you be happy to see the monster who killed your parents, his own parents?"
Sara was momentarily speechless.
"Heero? It wasn't your fault. There is no way you could have known."
"Hn."
The kitchen door suddenly swung open violently. A man around the age of twenty with dark-blue, almost black, eyes and chestnut colored hair stalked in, slamming the door shut behind him.
"Where is he!?!"
"Cyril, please?" Sara pleaded.
Cyril rounded on Heero, glaring at him.
"You!"
Cyril stepped forward, punching Hero right on the jaw. Heero's head snapped back and to the side, but he didn't utter a protest. Cyril then proceeded to punch Heero in the gut, causing him to double over. Sara tried to pull Cyril away from Heero, but Cyril threw her against the wall. Sara scrambled to her feet and rushed outside to get help.
When Duo and Trowa ran in, followed by Sara and Relena, Cyril was shouting at Heero as he kicked him. Heero was curled into a ball, trying to cringe away. Trowa grabbed Cyril's left arm, and Duo grabbed his right. The two of them managed to drag Cyril away from a battered and bloody Heero.
"Bastard!" Cyril shouted, struggling to get away from his captors.
Relena and Sara knelt beside Heero, trying to coax him out of the ball he had curled himself into. As Trowa and Duo held off Heero's enraged brother, the two women helped Heero out to the limo. Once Heero was safely inside, Cyril was released, and Duo and Trowa entered the limo.
"I'll get you for this Heero!" Cyril shouted at the departing limo. "I'll make you suffer?"
Cyril turned sharply, sneering at Sara as he walked by her.
"How could you possibly forgive that S.O.B.? He doesn't deserve to be pitied or forgiven!"
Sara sadly watched the limo that carried her little brother become smaller and smaller.
With a sigh, she turned to go back into the house herself.
"He's already suffered enough?"Sara whispered sadly.
~ Cyril's not a very nice guy. He swears a lot too? Poor Heero, he's got more surprises in store for him. The poor guy never gets a break. Oh, and no, I haven't forgotten about Wufei. Questions? Comments? Criticism? Possibly suggestions?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~ Wow, it's been what... a month since I last posted? I know, I'm such a slacker... Well here's part ten, and I should have part eleven out as soon as I get back from vacation. It's so nice having a laptop. Now I can work on my stuff wherever I go! *sarcastically* Oh joy! Anyway, read part ten and tell me what you think.
Disclaimer: If you still haven't figured it out by now... Gundam Wing and it's characters etc., do not belong to me.
If Only
Part X (Induced Memories)
By: Penybright
"I'm sorry, but we have no choice. It's for his own good."
"There has to be some other way," Relena prompted.
"I'm sorry Miss Dorlain, but Mr. Yuy needs to be institutionalized," the doctor replied.
"But, his wounds weren't self inflicted. He's not a danger to himself. He's usually very calm," Relena tried to argue.
"I'm sure that you're telling the truth, but this is for his own good, as well as yours. He can be properly treated and watched at an institution."
"Surely, there has to be---"
"I'm sorry Miss Dorlain, but there is no other way. I'll let you know when visiting hours are."
Relena nodded numbly, walking out of the doctor's office in a trance-like state. She couldn't believe this was happening. And Heero had been improving too. True, it wasn't exactly a large leap, but it was a minute difference. Even a minute change was good in Heero's case...
!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!
Relena stepped into the pristine white hallway, her footsteps echoing down the corridor as she walked. Something about this pace really creeped her out, and it wasn't the fact that it was an institution. It was something else... Relena rounded a bend in the hall and walked several steps to a large, metal door with a fiberglass window. She could her a scuffle going on, on the other side of the door, and peeked inside. Two attendants were holding Heero down as he struggled against the bonds they were trying to put him in.
"Hold still!" one attendant shouted, wrestling with the uncooperative patient.
"Stop!" Heero cried, fighting against them. "Please stop..."
Relena shoved the door open, rushing into the room. One look at Heero's eyes confirmed her suspicion. He was having flashbacks of his training. Relena had never know anything besides those memories that could terrify Heero so much.
"Let him go," Relena ordered. The two orderlies looked at her in disbelief.
"I'm sorry, miss, but we can't do that. He's mentally unstable, and there's no telling what he could do."
"Heero won't do anything. Now let him go!" Relena ordered again, stepping over to the bed Heero was partially strapped to. Heero tugged against his bonds, his eyes opened wide with a wild look in them. His chest heaved as his breathing became erratic.
"What have you done to him?" Relena accused.
The two attendants merely stared at her. Relena reached a hand out, soothing Heero's sweat-slicked hair back from his face. Heero's frantic eyes shifted to look at her, not sure if she was friend or foe.
"It's all right Heero. No one's going to hurt you. I'm going to get you out of here."
Relena's soothing touch, as well as her words, seemed to calm Heero considerably, until the two orderlies approached. Heero tried to cringe away, once again struggling against his bonds.
"Get away!" Relena shouted angrily. "Can't you see that he's terrified of you? What were you monsters doing to him?!"
"We were just strapping him down to give him his medication."
"He tends to get a little violent when we give him the injections," the second attendant finished. Relena grimaced, glaring at both men.
"Go and get the director of the institution at once," Relena said in low voice, glaring harder for emphasis. The two men hesitated, before scrambling out he door. When they returned, there was an older man with them.
"Miss Dorlain?" the man with gray streaked hair questioned.
"Yes?" Relena responded.
"I was told you wished to speak with me."
"I would like to inform you of Heero's discharge from this institution."
"I'm afraid I can't condone that, Miss Dorlain."
"It's not up to you. I'm taking Heero out of here, and that's final. You people are doing more harm for him than good. Look at him!" Relena accused, pointing to the form huddled on the bed. The doctor looked over to see Heero visibly shaking as he tried to cringe away from everyone in the room except Relena.
"I can't say I like this Miss Dorlain..."
"You don't have to like it, just do it," Relena responded, unbuckling the straps that held Heero down. Once free, Heero latched onto Relena's arm as she led him out of the institution. He didn't let go until they arrived at Relena's mansion, and even then he was reluctant to do so.
"It's going to be long road to recovery," Duo commented to Relena, as the two watched Heero cautiously creep around the mansion.
"But he is going to recover," Relena responded with determination.
"I hope so," Duo whispered under his breath.
~ Hmmm... Heero didn't react very well to being put in an institution, did he? So, was this chapter "up to par"? Questions, comments, criticisms (constructive criticisms)?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~It?s been a long, long, looooong time since I?ve update this. I finally got back into writing, and I?m just popping out chapters left and right for all my fics o.0; I apologize for the long wait, but the epilogue for this will be up within a week, and then you needn?t worry about me having to update this anymore
Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don?t own GW, I never owned GW, and I probably never shall.
If Only
Part XI (Deep Conversations)
By: Penybright
The next month passed slowly, Heero?s condition improving at times and declining at others. Just when Relena thought he was going to break through, he would regress. Wufei, after some searching, had been found. He?d been disgusted to see the state Heero was in, and had only stayed for a few days. Relena couldn?t blame him, it was rather disturbing to see the once proud pilot in such a state. No one seemed to be able to get through to Heero, and Relena was the only one who seemed to have any effect on his mood swings.
It was a Monday afternoon in November. Winter had set in early for the year. Soft flakes of snow drifted down from cloudy skies, blanketing the ground in fluffy layers. Heero was in his room, staring blankly out at the drifting snow. It seemed to calm him, watching the flakes being tossed about in the chill air. Relena had left him to his silence, descending the stairs to find the other pilots. It was comforting to have them around. They supported each other.
As Relena was making her way through the foyer, the doorbell startled her. Making her way to the door, she gazed through the peephole to find a surprise guest.
?Sara?? Relena questioned as she opened the door for the woman. ?What are you doing here??
?After what happened? I?m sorry about Cyril. He?s very volatile, and he never really got over our parents? deaths. I thought I should stay away for a while, but? I need to talk to him. I want him to find closure. He deserves to live a normal life for once.?
Relena nodded, offering to take Sara?s coat.
?He?s upstairs. I?ll go get him.?
?Thank you??
Heero stood transfixed at the bottom of the stairs, staring anxiously at his sister. His eyes flitted about, searching for Cyril, waiting for him to attack again. Sara approached her baby brother with caution. He was very fragile right now, and she didn?t want to spook him.
?Heero??
He flinched at his name, looking as if he were about to bolt.
?It?s okay. I just want to talk to you? Please??
Relena watched the scene unfold in fascination. Heero allowed Sara to approach him, if warily. She couldn?t help but smile at seeing the two siblings together, as they were meant to be. Sara reached her hand out, not taking Heero?s but asking permission with a look. Heero nodded. Smiling warmly, Sara pulled her brother into a hug. Pulling back from the embrace, she took her brother?s hand and led him to a quite area in the sitting room. Relena left them alone, not wanting to disturb the moment.
?You used to love the snow when you were a child,? Sara smiled wistfully, gazing out the large picture windows. ?Heero? I know a lot has happened to you since you were taken from us? I won?t even pretend to understand what you?ve been through.?
?I just? want the pain to end,? he whispered.
?The pain is what lets you know you?re alive little brother. It lets you know you?re human.?
?I? I have no purpose anymore. I?m not needed.?
?I think you know, deep down, that?s not true. There?s someone who needs you. If you can?t pull yourself together, and live life for yourself? at least do it for her. She needs you. You?re her strength, and with you gone? her world is falling apart. Think about it little brother, won?t you??
Heero nodded, a perplexed expression crossing his face.
?Think about it,? Sara smiled softly. ?The answer is right in front of your face. I?ll always be here for you if you need me, but? family can only encompass so much of your life, and I?m part of your past. Forgive and forget, Heero. Wipe the slate clean and start your own future, free of the ghosts of the past.?
Standing up, Sara leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her brother?s forehead.
?Keep in touch,? she murmured, playfully ruffling his hair. Heero watched her leave, watched her put on her coat and exit through the door. He didn?t say goodbye, didn?t utter a word. His mind was working furiously, mulling over what his sister had said. ?Forgive and forget??
Standing up as if in a trance, Heero made his way to the door. Opening it, he stared out at the peaceful snow covered landscape. Grabbing his coat off the hook by the door, he wondered out into the white solitude.
~Yay! Just the epilogue to go, and this sucker is finished
this latest installment!
Disclaimer: I do not, and never will own Gundam Wing or any of its characters.
If Only
Part VIIII (Conflicting Reactions)
By: Penybright
When Sara hugged Heero, he tried to pull away, expecting Sara to hit him. When he realized that Sara had no intention of hurting him, Heero relaxed slightly. He wasn't quite sure how to react when Sara began to cry. Comforting was not something Heero had encountered frequently. Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around Sara, hugging her back almost fearfully.
Sara pulled back, looking into Heero's eyes, searching for something.
"Why don't you come in and we'll talk," she suggested with a smile. Heero turned to the others, and they all nodded.
"We'll be out here if you need us," Relena said, smiling softly.
Sara tugged on Heero's hand, gently pulling him into the house, and closing the door behind her.
"It's so wonderful to see you after all these years!"
"Why?" Heero asked numbly. "Why would you be happy to see the monster who killed your parents, his own parents?"
Sara was momentarily speechless.
"Heero? It wasn't your fault. There is no way you could have known."
"Hn."
The kitchen door suddenly swung open violently. A man around the age of twenty with dark-blue, almost black, eyes and chestnut colored hair stalked in, slamming the door shut behind him.
"Where is he!?!"
"Cyril, please?" Sara pleaded.
Cyril rounded on Heero, glaring at him.
"You!"
Cyril stepped forward, punching Hero right on the jaw. Heero's head snapped back and to the side, but he didn't utter a protest. Cyril then proceeded to punch Heero in the gut, causing him to double over. Sara tried to pull Cyril away from Heero, but Cyril threw her against the wall. Sara scrambled to her feet and rushed outside to get help.
When Duo and Trowa ran in, followed by Sara and Relena, Cyril was shouting at Heero as he kicked him. Heero was curled into a ball, trying to cringe away. Trowa grabbed Cyril's left arm, and Duo grabbed his right. The two of them managed to drag Cyril away from a battered and bloody Heero.
"Bastard!" Cyril shouted, struggling to get away from his captors.
Relena and Sara knelt beside Heero, trying to coax him out of the ball he had curled himself into. As Trowa and Duo held off Heero's enraged brother, the two women helped Heero out to the limo. Once Heero was safely inside, Cyril was released, and Duo and Trowa entered the limo.
"I'll get you for this Heero!" Cyril shouted at the departing limo. "I'll make you suffer?"
Cyril turned sharply, sneering at Sara as he walked by her.
"How could you possibly forgive that S.O.B.? He doesn't deserve to be pitied or forgiven!"
Sara sadly watched the limo that carried her little brother become smaller and smaller.
With a sigh, she turned to go back into the house herself.
"He's already suffered enough?"Sara whispered sadly.
~ Cyril's not a very nice guy. He swears a lot too? Poor Heero, he's got more surprises in store for him. The poor guy never gets a break. Oh, and no, I haven't forgotten about Wufei. Questions? Comments? Criticism? Possibly suggestions?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~ Wow, it's been what... a month since I last posted? I know, I'm such a slacker... Well here's part ten, and I should have part eleven out as soon as I get back from vacation. It's so nice having a laptop. Now I can work on my stuff wherever I go! *sarcastically* Oh joy! Anyway, read part ten and tell me what you think.
Disclaimer: If you still haven't figured it out by now... Gundam Wing and it's characters etc., do not belong to me.
If Only
Part X (Induced Memories)
By: Penybright
"I'm sorry, but we have no choice. It's for his own good."
"There has to be some other way," Relena prompted.
"I'm sorry Miss Dorlain, but Mr. Yuy needs to be institutionalized," the doctor replied.
"But, his wounds weren't self inflicted. He's not a danger to himself. He's usually very calm," Relena tried to argue.
"I'm sure that you're telling the truth, but this is for his own good, as well as yours. He can be properly treated and watched at an institution."
"Surely, there has to be---"
"I'm sorry Miss Dorlain, but there is no other way. I'll let you know when visiting hours are."
Relena nodded numbly, walking out of the doctor's office in a trance-like state. She couldn't believe this was happening. And Heero had been improving too. True, it wasn't exactly a large leap, but it was a minute difference. Even a minute change was good in Heero's case...
!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!^!
Relena stepped into the pristine white hallway, her footsteps echoing down the corridor as she walked. Something about this pace really creeped her out, and it wasn't the fact that it was an institution. It was something else... Relena rounded a bend in the hall and walked several steps to a large, metal door with a fiberglass window. She could her a scuffle going on, on the other side of the door, and peeked inside. Two attendants were holding Heero down as he struggled against the bonds they were trying to put him in.
"Hold still!" one attendant shouted, wrestling with the uncooperative patient.
"Stop!" Heero cried, fighting against them. "Please stop..."
Relena shoved the door open, rushing into the room. One look at Heero's eyes confirmed her suspicion. He was having flashbacks of his training. Relena had never know anything besides those memories that could terrify Heero so much.
"Let him go," Relena ordered. The two orderlies looked at her in disbelief.
"I'm sorry, miss, but we can't do that. He's mentally unstable, and there's no telling what he could do."
"Heero won't do anything. Now let him go!" Relena ordered again, stepping over to the bed Heero was partially strapped to. Heero tugged against his bonds, his eyes opened wide with a wild look in them. His chest heaved as his breathing became erratic.
"What have you done to him?" Relena accused.
The two attendants merely stared at her. Relena reached a hand out, soothing Heero's sweat-slicked hair back from his face. Heero's frantic eyes shifted to look at her, not sure if she was friend or foe.
"It's all right Heero. No one's going to hurt you. I'm going to get you out of here."
Relena's soothing touch, as well as her words, seemed to calm Heero considerably, until the two orderlies approached. Heero tried to cringe away, once again struggling against his bonds.
"Get away!" Relena shouted angrily. "Can't you see that he's terrified of you? What were you monsters doing to him?!"
"We were just strapping him down to give him his medication."
"He tends to get a little violent when we give him the injections," the second attendant finished. Relena grimaced, glaring at both men.
"Go and get the director of the institution at once," Relena said in low voice, glaring harder for emphasis. The two men hesitated, before scrambling out he door. When they returned, there was an older man with them.
"Miss Dorlain?" the man with gray streaked hair questioned.
"Yes?" Relena responded.
"I was told you wished to speak with me."
"I would like to inform you of Heero's discharge from this institution."
"I'm afraid I can't condone that, Miss Dorlain."
"It's not up to you. I'm taking Heero out of here, and that's final. You people are doing more harm for him than good. Look at him!" Relena accused, pointing to the form huddled on the bed. The doctor looked over to see Heero visibly shaking as he tried to cringe away from everyone in the room except Relena.
"I can't say I like this Miss Dorlain..."
"You don't have to like it, just do it," Relena responded, unbuckling the straps that held Heero down. Once free, Heero latched onto Relena's arm as she led him out of the institution. He didn't let go until they arrived at Relena's mansion, and even then he was reluctant to do so.
"It's going to be long road to recovery," Duo commented to Relena, as the two watched Heero cautiously creep around the mansion.
"But he is going to recover," Relena responded with determination.
"I hope so," Duo whispered under his breath.
~ Hmmm... Heero didn't react very well to being put in an institution, did he? So, was this chapter "up to par"? Questions, comments, criticisms (constructive criticisms)?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~It?s been a long, long, looooong time since I?ve update this. I finally got back into writing, and I?m just popping out chapters left and right for all my fics o.0; I apologize for the long wait, but the epilogue for this will be up within a week, and then you needn?t worry about me having to update this anymore

Disclaimer: I don?t own GW, I never owned GW, and I probably never shall.
If Only
Part XI (Deep Conversations)
By: Penybright
The next month passed slowly, Heero?s condition improving at times and declining at others. Just when Relena thought he was going to break through, he would regress. Wufei, after some searching, had been found. He?d been disgusted to see the state Heero was in, and had only stayed for a few days. Relena couldn?t blame him, it was rather disturbing to see the once proud pilot in such a state. No one seemed to be able to get through to Heero, and Relena was the only one who seemed to have any effect on his mood swings.
It was a Monday afternoon in November. Winter had set in early for the year. Soft flakes of snow drifted down from cloudy skies, blanketing the ground in fluffy layers. Heero was in his room, staring blankly out at the drifting snow. It seemed to calm him, watching the flakes being tossed about in the chill air. Relena had left him to his silence, descending the stairs to find the other pilots. It was comforting to have them around. They supported each other.
As Relena was making her way through the foyer, the doorbell startled her. Making her way to the door, she gazed through the peephole to find a surprise guest.
?Sara?? Relena questioned as she opened the door for the woman. ?What are you doing here??
?After what happened? I?m sorry about Cyril. He?s very volatile, and he never really got over our parents? deaths. I thought I should stay away for a while, but? I need to talk to him. I want him to find closure. He deserves to live a normal life for once.?
Relena nodded, offering to take Sara?s coat.
?He?s upstairs. I?ll go get him.?
?Thank you??
Heero stood transfixed at the bottom of the stairs, staring anxiously at his sister. His eyes flitted about, searching for Cyril, waiting for him to attack again. Sara approached her baby brother with caution. He was very fragile right now, and she didn?t want to spook him.
?Heero??
He flinched at his name, looking as if he were about to bolt.
?It?s okay. I just want to talk to you? Please??
Relena watched the scene unfold in fascination. Heero allowed Sara to approach him, if warily. She couldn?t help but smile at seeing the two siblings together, as they were meant to be. Sara reached her hand out, not taking Heero?s but asking permission with a look. Heero nodded. Smiling warmly, Sara pulled her brother into a hug. Pulling back from the embrace, she took her brother?s hand and led him to a quite area in the sitting room. Relena left them alone, not wanting to disturb the moment.
?You used to love the snow when you were a child,? Sara smiled wistfully, gazing out the large picture windows. ?Heero? I know a lot has happened to you since you were taken from us? I won?t even pretend to understand what you?ve been through.?
?I just? want the pain to end,? he whispered.
?The pain is what lets you know you?re alive little brother. It lets you know you?re human.?
?I? I have no purpose anymore. I?m not needed.?
?I think you know, deep down, that?s not true. There?s someone who needs you. If you can?t pull yourself together, and live life for yourself? at least do it for her. She needs you. You?re her strength, and with you gone? her world is falling apart. Think about it little brother, won?t you??
Heero nodded, a perplexed expression crossing his face.
?Think about it,? Sara smiled softly. ?The answer is right in front of your face. I?ll always be here for you if you need me, but? family can only encompass so much of your life, and I?m part of your past. Forgive and forget, Heero. Wipe the slate clean and start your own future, free of the ghosts of the past.?
Standing up, Sara leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her brother?s forehead.
?Keep in touch,? she murmured, playfully ruffling his hair. Heero watched her leave, watched her put on her coat and exit through the door. He didn?t say goodbye, didn?t utter a word. His mind was working furiously, mulling over what his sister had said. ?Forgive and forget??
Standing up as if in a trance, Heero made his way to the door. Opening it, he stared out at the peaceful snow covered landscape. Grabbing his coat off the hook by the door, he wondered out into the white solitude.
~Yay! Just the epilogue to go, and this sucker is finished
