Christmas Cake (part five)

[dd]

Sosuske ran across the back stretch of lawn, keeping low and rolling across any open space longer than his body length. Bushes shuddered and shook as he knifed through them, his shadow having a hard time keeping up with him. Plastering his body flat against the building wall, he ducked down and inched his way under a set of windows.

He did not want to be detected.

At least, not by Kaname.

His mind had not arrived at a final decision yet. In fact, he had not made much headway at all.

Wait. Movement! A momentous leap carried him up to the lower branches of a stately elm tree. Like a gymnast, he swung up and somersaulted, landing on a secure foothold. He would move again as soon as the intruder was identified. The time spent waiting would serve well as more opportunity to consider matters.

Unless the card was a forgery, placed where he could find it by some student with a grudge against him or Kaname? or left by a terrorist or spy hoping to lure him to an isolated location where no one would think to look for him? it was intended for him by Kaname.

Analysis of the situation yielded a rough 99.6 percent probability that Kaname was indeed the perpetrator. It was, after all, her handwriting.

Should he be using the term ?perpetrator??

?It is not a problem.?

Sgt, Major Mao may well be correct in her analysis. But, a good operative thinks things through on his own, covering all possibilities. If Kaname did indeed intend to lure him to a Love Hotel, what was her purpose. The likely reason was difficult to fully comprehend at the moment, so he focused on less plausible scenarios.

Should he be using the term ?lured??

?Also not a problem.?

Just the last week?. after he had accidentally destroyed Kaname?s meticulous botany project, thinking it was a fertilizer-based explosive device? she had sworn vengeance. Could this be an elaborate set-up? a means to take incriminating photographs or embarrassing videos? Doubtful. Likelihood 1.5 percent.

She had also said that they needed to boost their study sessions. Important exams were approaching. A good meal?with highly nutritious food? could provide good strength for industrious students. A quiet hotel room at an out of the way establishment could provide a much better study environment that either of their apartments. Hmmm. Probability estimated at 15 percent. The cost:benefit considerations were decidedly unfavorable.

Three weeks ago, while hiding in a locker to avoid an irate wood shop instructor---who did not appreciate the boost in power he had engineered into the lathe using Bonta-Kun spare parts---he had overheard Ryo tell Kaname that she should throw Sousuke a surprise party if he every went a whole week without shooting anybody.

He had gone two weeks. A personal record by nearly a week. It didn?t matter that he had been ordered by Lt. Kalinin to avoid the use of weapons after he shot the famous movie star. How was he supposed to know that the man was simply playing the part of a robber for the demonstration during anti-crime week. He had missed the introductory remarks. It was more important to give First Aid to the girl who had walked into the trap he had set for the person who was stealing school trophies. How was he supposed to know she actually had been taking them away to be polished?

A surprise party in a hotel? Possible, but not probable. 20 percent chance at best. Kaname would know better than to surprise a Specialist.

Sousuke ran through a dozen more possibilities, but nothing had a rating greater than 35 percent. It would appear that Kaname did indeed want to ask him to a romantic establishment for personal reasons. He began to sweat. He face went rigid. No doubt about it. His thoughts were wandering into unknown territory again. His combat knife appeared in his hand. Absent-mindedly, he began cutting at the tree limb in a sawing fashion. From up on his precarious perch, wood chips floated down on the icy air.

He knew nothing of romance.

That was not a secret.

Melissa had given him a romance novel of Tessa?s once, telling him it might save his life some day. He had taken her at her word, much to Kurz? entertainment later on. Page after page, he struggled to make sense of things. Even the repair manual for the instrument panel of the ARX-7 was more readily comprehensible than that book. To him, it seemed to be written in a foreign language.

He remembered some of the phrases, just the same. Might they be useful when discussing the issue with Kaname?

?What are you doing tonight?. besides me??

Negative. He remembered Melissa?s explanation for that now. Unfortunately, she had clued it in AFTER he used the line on Captain Testarossa---Kurz had told him that it had to do with performance evaluations. He neglected to ask what type of performance.

?Baby, you must have dynamite in your pants, because your ass is the bomb.?

Negative again. He recalled what had happened to Kurz when he tried that on a nurse. To cover his embarrassment, Sgt. Weber had conned Sousuke into believing the woman did indeed have explosives strapped to her undergarments by a deadly terrorist hiding in the shadows. Rather than disrobe the woman as Kurz had expected, Sousuke turned a high power hose on her. ?You are safe now,? he had proudly said. ?The explosives should be too moist to ignite.? He was fortunate that the base doctor could reset his nose.

?Do you work for UPS because I swear I saw you checking out my package??

Once again the logic escaped him. Package? Kurz told him that the line was corny and unlikely to earn a man a smile. Since anything Sgt. Weber suggested was usually wrong, it was probably a keeper. Yes. It would be good to make Kaname smile. As he should also bring her a gift, the line WOULD have some relevance. He would then ask Kaname to explain it to him afterwards.

?Why don?t you come over here, sit on my lap, and we?ll talk about the first thing that pops up.?

It was worth remembering, because it sounds warm and friendly. A girl no doubt likes to know that a man cares about what she wants to say. But, ?sit on my lap?? Is that degree of closeness mandatory? Just what will be required of me? Why am I feeling nervous? Certainly my lap would be able to support the weight of a well-proportioned teenage female of medium frame.

?You?ll do.?

Hmmm. Short. Affirming. And to the point. He took out a pen to write that one down. No doubt Kaname would appreciate the fact that he found her acceptable.

Found her acceptable?

?Uh??

He tried to take back that truth, wondering if it was untrustworthy, given the lack of supporting evidence. How could he make such a judgment, if he didn?t even have criteria to apply? He was struck by an epiphany. There were no criteria. There would be no manual. As Melissa had said, he needed to find his own answers.

He had never found someone acceptable before. Then again, he had never really looked. There had been no opportunity. There had been no reason. Kaname had given him both.

?Acceptable is not sufficient. Not for a specialist.? Very true. Very true indeed.

The professional in him was taking over, despite what the Sgt. Major had said. He couldn?t help himself. It was the one thing he knew well enough to take as gospel. Who says that the same type of evaluation he would use with a potential new gun could not be applied to a girl?

In a spontaneous fight, a combatant should settle for any weapon he had opportunity to get his hands on. It was common sense. Do whatever is necessary to survive! But, when one has time to make preparations, one should choose the weapon that is best suited to him, not merely one which is adequate. He should try out as many as is possible, until he is adept at recognizing generalities. Perhaps it might be wise not to explain that to Kaname. Of course, when one finds a weapon that is right for him, he need not look any further.

Sousuke?s eyes widened. Another stupendous realization. He remembered an early instructor?s comment. There are two ways to determine which weapons are truly exceptional. The one way was to study specifications, test their consistency, speak to more seasoned soldiers, read reviews, and reason things out. The right way was simply to get an intuitive feel for them. For some, they never acquired the talent. Others were naturals. Everyone else fell somewhere in between.

Sousuke realized that he was soaked with perspiration.

He also noticed that there were only ten more minutes before the start of class.

The splintering of wood and the hard fall to the ground showed him too late that he had hacked his way through the tree limb.

Wincing with pain, he picked up on his last train of thought. If he wanted to find the right girl, he would need to get a feel for her. How else would he know? It would make sense to accept Kaname?s offer. What better away to find out? For a moment, his confidence soared higher than an eagle. It was so simple!

He had a beautiful view of the ground as he began falling back to earth. Figuratively, he spun his arms around, unable to slow the descent. He pulled the cord on his parka, but he had neglected to pack a chute. He had put the cart before the horse. He had made an armor assault without infantry support.

Plucking an abandoned bird?s nest out of the crook of one arm, he realized that he first needed to answer an even more important question: did he want to find the right girl? No. Did he want to find any girl at all?

Suddenly and unexpectedly, his legs gave out on him. He sat hard on the ground, out in the open, suddenly unconcerned whether or not someone would see him sitting there.

He had radioed for assistance. .. annoyed his squad commander... received useful advice. .. and promptly ignored it. Perhaps he was too reckless, too undisciplined. Maybe he was simply too impulsive, or a slave to his better understood instincts. He watched in amazement as his hands shook. It could simply be that he was afraid.

Afraid?

A Specialist?

A veteran of countless near death experiences?

A man who had faced potential tragedy and brought the world back from the brink of disaster?

Frightened of possible feelings for a member of the opposite sex?

Scared to simply ask himself questions?

?Yes.?

It almost hurt him to admit it. He didn?t know why. It could be because it made him seem so different than other boys his age. It was difficult being different. It was exhausting and demoralizing to be so different for so long. But he could not force the issue. He had found that out numerous times in the past, for many different things.

?A coward is not a man who fears. He is a man who lets his fears rule him.? Sousuke knew the truth of that adage from the battlefield. He also realized the corollary: ?A hero is a man who carries on despite his fears.?

Indeed. He could only do his best. It was unrealistic to expect more. Another instructor?s advice came to mind. The skill of a true fighter will not necessarily be reflected in the situations he puts himself in. It will be clear from the way he handles those situations. The heart of the warrior will not be judged best when he rushes into a battle easily won. It will show its true meddle when he walks into a situation he stands little chance of winning. A positive attitude, unconditional bravery, and perseverance can serve as catalysts, making good things happen where intellectuals are certain nothing good can come.

?It is not a problem. I can do this for Kaname. I should do this for me.?

As he limped off towards the rear door of the school, he began asking himself the types of questions that Melissa had suggested. The answers were not easy in coming. He was a maestro when it came to suppression, repression, and denial as well. But with each step he took, he became more adept at sensing the truth. With each discovery, he felt the need to find more truths. He had to fight the urge to analyze and completely verify each point.

He was oblivious to everything around him. The major thoroughfare in the school did not register on his senses the way it usually did. It almost seemed two-dimensional, constricted, populated by stick figures instead of people. He walked on slowly, giving himself as much time for reflection as he could.

?Mr. Sagara. Why all the nerve! You are tracking leaves into the school. What are you going to do about it??

Without conscious thought, Sousuke walked over to one of the janitor?s cubby holes?. took out a broom?. walked over to the Vice Principal?. handed him the broom?.and continued on his way.

One hallway over, he was confronted by Tsubaki Issei.

?Sagara. I can wait no longer. The time for our final confrontation will come. There must be a victor.? Without his glasses, the other boy began chanting, gathering up tremendous amount of chi.

Sousuke simply handed him a number of twigs and leaves and continued on his way, deep in thought. He never heard the karate enthusiast?s enraged sputtering.

Following a large number of walking students, the young sergeant shuffled down the last corridor. Shinji waved to him excitedly. He called out in an overly loud voice.

?Sousuke. Hey Sousuke. I just got the newest bound volume of Jane?s ?All The World?s Arm Slaves.? You should see the photos. They have a Czech CS-10... a Chinese Xi-2000... A Brazilian Yaguar? an Israeli Gibbor? even shots of a mysterious machine with some kind of glowing force shield? EVERYTHING??

Sousuke didn?t even acknowledge his friend. His focus was on his desk and his chair. He took the card out of his coat pocket and brushed off a few clinging fragments of tree bark. Each subsequent stride was measured with metronomic precision. There were no extraneous thoughts or movements. His mind briefly flashed back to a previous mission.

He had stolen a Hind Mi-35 helicopter, needing to get a data disc to the designated authorities in a certain amount of time. He had been perilously low on fuel. The weather was terrible and the sea was incredibly choppy. The heaving deck of the cruising aircraft carrier was difficult to see in the heavy downpour. He had sighted his target? said a prayer? tightened his focus? and made the necessary choices.

Obviously, he had walked away from that mission. If fate smiled on him, he would be successful here as well. Saying a prayer, he adjusted his speed, took the best possible path, and sat down squarely on his chair.

Kaname looked up at him as if awakening suddenly from a deep sleep. She knocked her book upon the floor with an unexpected spasm. Her eyes widened. She held her breath

?I have your card, Kaname.?

For some reason, she looked all around herself. Glaring at Sousuke, she began waving her hands, trying to send him some signal. What was so important? She put a finger to her mouth and made a ?Shhhhhhh? sound.

?Miss Chidori. Mr. Sagara. Is there something you?d like to share with the class?? The teacher spoke with a deep baritone voice. Kaname flinched. Her eyes pleaded with him. What was she trying to tell him?

?Yes.? Sousuke said.

Kaname fell out of her chair.

[Perfect Soldier]

O.O;; oh god... I'm at the edge of my seat, please, please, please, let this work out. I'm really exited to see what'll happen now.

Zero

[Eienvine]

Oh, no, what is he going to do now? I thought this chapter was absolutely hilarious, the way Sousuke was figuring out the probability of the different choices in percents and wondering about the cost:benefit ratio. Very funny chapter.