Midnight Chimes and Pink Roses 2/5
Posted: Mon May 31, 2004 6:56 pm
It's been a million years, but in case anyone remembers this fic, it's the sequel to Santa Baby.
<b>Midnight Chimes and Pink Roses</b>
by the Black Rose
AN: The italicized text is Relena's journal entries.
Chapter 2
<i>That entire week was one of the most difficult I'd ever spent. I'd catch him watching me out of the corner of my eye, but couldn't find the courage to meet his gaze.
Despite the fact we hadn't seen each other in two years, we didn't seem to have much to say. Heero was never the type to babble for the sake of conversation, and for my part, I knew better than to pressure him. I'm not sure how I ended up in his bed that morning. And though I enjoyed waking up to his kiss, the tension between us intensified by a factor of a thousand.
He was battling himself. And I could only guess as to the reasons why. Heero was always more of an outsider, and moved around freely throughout his life. Despite his stability of temperament, he wasn't necessarily a stable person. He had a quiet strength about him that I admired, and always had. I loved him for it. Not just his strength, but his courage, his focus, and his kindness.
I loved him for the way he looked like he was glaring when he concentrated, so that every time he sat at his laptop, it appeared as if he was daring it to defy him. I loved him for the beautiful, if very rare smile he could wear. He was the most handsome man in the universe when he smiled, and the sexiest when he scowled.
I loved him very simply because he was Heero.
They say that women often times choose their mate in the likeness of their father. I couldn't say if Heero was like my real father, but I could see similarities between him and Mr. Darlian - my adopted father. The fact that one exited my life around the same time the other began to take center stage, left me, at fifteen, searching for the approval I wanted from my father, from Heero.
They're the same in my heart and yet they're different.
Heero is the man I want to give my heart to. My father is the man that taught me to have one in the first place.
My natural father died before I was old enough to know him. My adopted father died before we had the time to know each other. My adopted mother never recovered from his death. I can't imagine going on with my life without Heero. . .
My brother left after the Mariemaia incident, and I've never felt like I've known him.
The only one who's stayed with me through it all is Pagan.
I wanted Heero to stay by my side. I wanted to remain by his side.
But Heero needed freedom to do the things that Heero needed to do. He never had that kind of liberty before the end of the war.
I could understand that. Even accept that - as long as he had a place to return to, a place he could call home. I wanted to be that for him; I didn't want to trap him. And so I left the door open on a cage that never had a roof - even though the very thought of him leaving stole the breath from my lungs and made the muscle in my chest burn.
I wanted him to stay, but I didn't want to be the one forcing him to stay. How could I make him want to remain on his own? The obvious answer was to sleep with him, but Heero was not the type to be manipulated, and despite my occupation, manipulation was not my strong suit.
Though neither was seduction, apparently.
And so I was stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place: if I asked him to stay, I was certain I would only end up chasing him away.
And if I left him alone, I was afraid he'd believe I didn't care.
The end result was the same, either way.
Heero was going to leave again and break my heart.</i>
* * * * * *
The days passed quickly, though a tense quiet marked most of the time that went by. Heero didn't know how to prove himself to her, but hoped that every day he was there would be another point in his favor. And yet, the more time that went by, the worse things seemed to get.
He finished the breakfast the two of them had eaten, yet again, in silence. He glanced across the table at where she sat, eyes focused on some point far away. Heero scowled and stood up from his seat. He chucked the napkin at the table, and started towards the door. But Pagan halted his exit by entering the room and blocking his path to begin clearing away dishes off the table.
Relena stood up from her chair.
"Master Yuy, if I may ask, for the sake of an old butler's duties, how long are you planning to stay in the household?" Pagan asked, nose down, appearing completely intent on his duties. Relena gasped and placed a hand to her mouth. Her face drained of all its color. She turned and exited the room before Heero could answer.
"I'm staying. Indefinitely."
The butler moved around to the other side of the table, clearing Heero's path to the door. "Do you have an estimated arrival date for your belongings, then?"
Heero shot Pagan a look and moved to go after Relena. "I'll let you know."
"And I suppose your transfer notice has already been approved by the head of Preventer." The elderly butler's voice followed Heero out the door.
He caught up to her only a few yards outside the dining room. Had she continued at her quick pace, she would have been much farther away. So she had to have paused to hear his answer. "Where are you going?"
"I?I have some things to attend to." She looked at his chest when she spoke.
"You're avoiding me."
She laughed. It sounded hollow. "It's difficult to avoid someone living in the same household?" She glanced away. "About?this morning?"
Heero crossed his arms. "Yes."
"I?didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Relena met his eyes this time.
He scowled. "Six years ago, you walking in to that room wearing practically nothing made me uncomfortable. This morning--"
"It was a mistake." She dropped her gaze to the floor.
"A mistake." Heero dropped his arms to his side and clenched his fists. His breakfast turned over in his stomach.
"Yes, I didn't mean--"
His eyes narrowed. "Are you talking about today or six years ago, Relena?"
"I?"
His heart hammered in his chest. He didn't even want to know her answer. "Because between the two of us, there have been only two mistakes, to my recollection." Her expression didn't change. Her face was blank, emotionless, like she was waiting for an axe to fall.
"The most recent being your refusal to give me a chance." He turned and started to walk away.
"And the other?" Her soft voice floated after him.
He kept walking.
<i> "Ever leaving in the first place."</i>
* * * * * *
<i> It had been five whole days since Heero had come back into my life. And with all the turmoil his very presence managed to put me in, I'd almost completely forgotten the generic 'holiday' party invitation I had received and already affirmatively answered.
Pagan reminded me of it that afternoon, and so I had to call and change my RSVP to two people instead of just one. For a change, Heero seemed almost willing to go. Perhaps it was being virtually trapped inside the house with nothing but his laptop, and whatever project he had started on my chimney.
For years, my chimney had been 'protected' the way it was. Now, it was suddenly a weak point in the security system. I don't think I want to know how he managed to find that out.
Despite my reluctance to stay in the room, I overheard Heero's conversation with Pagan. His transfer within the Preventers hadn't been taken care of. He'd made no plans to move anything from his apartment on L2.
In all the time I'd known him, Heero had always proved to be an honorable person. He's a man of his word. I had absolutely no reason to doubt that Heero would keep his promises. He always had. Except when it came to leaving.
He left the night of the attack on St. Gabriel's Academy. He left the Sanq Kingdom while I met with the representatives from Romafeller. He left at the end of the war. He left after the Mariemaia incident. He left after my seventeenth birthday party had been cleared of terrorists.
He left the Christmas of my nineteenth year.
Simple logic says, "But he always comes back." Yes, yes he does. But usually only when I'm in danger.
Perhaps that's why he's here, now. Perhaps the 'chimney project' is a cover for something else. I had been ushered off the L2 colony pretty quick. Wufei said there was a hacker...
But Heero is an honorable person. He would tell me if that was why he came back. He's not much for fa?ades, and even less for lying. And his words, I knew, were ones I could count on.
Heero said he was staying indefinitely.
He never said forever.</i>
<b>Midnight Chimes and Pink Roses</b>
by the Black Rose
AN: The italicized text is Relena's journal entries.
Chapter 2
<i>That entire week was one of the most difficult I'd ever spent. I'd catch him watching me out of the corner of my eye, but couldn't find the courage to meet his gaze.
Despite the fact we hadn't seen each other in two years, we didn't seem to have much to say. Heero was never the type to babble for the sake of conversation, and for my part, I knew better than to pressure him. I'm not sure how I ended up in his bed that morning. And though I enjoyed waking up to his kiss, the tension between us intensified by a factor of a thousand.
He was battling himself. And I could only guess as to the reasons why. Heero was always more of an outsider, and moved around freely throughout his life. Despite his stability of temperament, he wasn't necessarily a stable person. He had a quiet strength about him that I admired, and always had. I loved him for it. Not just his strength, but his courage, his focus, and his kindness.
I loved him for the way he looked like he was glaring when he concentrated, so that every time he sat at his laptop, it appeared as if he was daring it to defy him. I loved him for the beautiful, if very rare smile he could wear. He was the most handsome man in the universe when he smiled, and the sexiest when he scowled.
I loved him very simply because he was Heero.
They say that women often times choose their mate in the likeness of their father. I couldn't say if Heero was like my real father, but I could see similarities between him and Mr. Darlian - my adopted father. The fact that one exited my life around the same time the other began to take center stage, left me, at fifteen, searching for the approval I wanted from my father, from Heero.
They're the same in my heart and yet they're different.
Heero is the man I want to give my heart to. My father is the man that taught me to have one in the first place.
My natural father died before I was old enough to know him. My adopted father died before we had the time to know each other. My adopted mother never recovered from his death. I can't imagine going on with my life without Heero. . .
My brother left after the Mariemaia incident, and I've never felt like I've known him.
The only one who's stayed with me through it all is Pagan.
I wanted Heero to stay by my side. I wanted to remain by his side.
But Heero needed freedom to do the things that Heero needed to do. He never had that kind of liberty before the end of the war.
I could understand that. Even accept that - as long as he had a place to return to, a place he could call home. I wanted to be that for him; I didn't want to trap him. And so I left the door open on a cage that never had a roof - even though the very thought of him leaving stole the breath from my lungs and made the muscle in my chest burn.
I wanted him to stay, but I didn't want to be the one forcing him to stay. How could I make him want to remain on his own? The obvious answer was to sleep with him, but Heero was not the type to be manipulated, and despite my occupation, manipulation was not my strong suit.
Though neither was seduction, apparently.
And so I was stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place: if I asked him to stay, I was certain I would only end up chasing him away.
And if I left him alone, I was afraid he'd believe I didn't care.
The end result was the same, either way.
Heero was going to leave again and break my heart.</i>
* * * * * *
The days passed quickly, though a tense quiet marked most of the time that went by. Heero didn't know how to prove himself to her, but hoped that every day he was there would be another point in his favor. And yet, the more time that went by, the worse things seemed to get.
He finished the breakfast the two of them had eaten, yet again, in silence. He glanced across the table at where she sat, eyes focused on some point far away. Heero scowled and stood up from his seat. He chucked the napkin at the table, and started towards the door. But Pagan halted his exit by entering the room and blocking his path to begin clearing away dishes off the table.
Relena stood up from her chair.
"Master Yuy, if I may ask, for the sake of an old butler's duties, how long are you planning to stay in the household?" Pagan asked, nose down, appearing completely intent on his duties. Relena gasped and placed a hand to her mouth. Her face drained of all its color. She turned and exited the room before Heero could answer.
"I'm staying. Indefinitely."
The butler moved around to the other side of the table, clearing Heero's path to the door. "Do you have an estimated arrival date for your belongings, then?"
Heero shot Pagan a look and moved to go after Relena. "I'll let you know."
"And I suppose your transfer notice has already been approved by the head of Preventer." The elderly butler's voice followed Heero out the door.
He caught up to her only a few yards outside the dining room. Had she continued at her quick pace, she would have been much farther away. So she had to have paused to hear his answer. "Where are you going?"
"I?I have some things to attend to." She looked at his chest when she spoke.
"You're avoiding me."
She laughed. It sounded hollow. "It's difficult to avoid someone living in the same household?" She glanced away. "About?this morning?"
Heero crossed his arms. "Yes."
"I?didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Relena met his eyes this time.
He scowled. "Six years ago, you walking in to that room wearing practically nothing made me uncomfortable. This morning--"
"It was a mistake." She dropped her gaze to the floor.
"A mistake." Heero dropped his arms to his side and clenched his fists. His breakfast turned over in his stomach.
"Yes, I didn't mean--"
His eyes narrowed. "Are you talking about today or six years ago, Relena?"
"I?"
His heart hammered in his chest. He didn't even want to know her answer. "Because between the two of us, there have been only two mistakes, to my recollection." Her expression didn't change. Her face was blank, emotionless, like she was waiting for an axe to fall.
"The most recent being your refusal to give me a chance." He turned and started to walk away.
"And the other?" Her soft voice floated after him.
He kept walking.
<i> "Ever leaving in the first place."</i>
* * * * * *
<i> It had been five whole days since Heero had come back into my life. And with all the turmoil his very presence managed to put me in, I'd almost completely forgotten the generic 'holiday' party invitation I had received and already affirmatively answered.
Pagan reminded me of it that afternoon, and so I had to call and change my RSVP to two people instead of just one. For a change, Heero seemed almost willing to go. Perhaps it was being virtually trapped inside the house with nothing but his laptop, and whatever project he had started on my chimney.
For years, my chimney had been 'protected' the way it was. Now, it was suddenly a weak point in the security system. I don't think I want to know how he managed to find that out.
Despite my reluctance to stay in the room, I overheard Heero's conversation with Pagan. His transfer within the Preventers hadn't been taken care of. He'd made no plans to move anything from his apartment on L2.
In all the time I'd known him, Heero had always proved to be an honorable person. He's a man of his word. I had absolutely no reason to doubt that Heero would keep his promises. He always had. Except when it came to leaving.
He left the night of the attack on St. Gabriel's Academy. He left the Sanq Kingdom while I met with the representatives from Romafeller. He left at the end of the war. He left after the Mariemaia incident. He left after my seventeenth birthday party had been cleared of terrorists.
He left the Christmas of my nineteenth year.
Simple logic says, "But he always comes back." Yes, yes he does. But usually only when I'm in danger.
Perhaps that's why he's here, now. Perhaps the 'chimney project' is a cover for something else. I had been ushered off the L2 colony pretty quick. Wufei said there was a hacker...
But Heero is an honorable person. He would tell me if that was why he came back. He's not much for fa?ades, and even less for lying. And his words, I knew, were ones I could count on.
Heero said he was staying indefinitely.
He never said forever.</i>
:x :o
), you have their characters down to a tee. You're writing is amazing, as usual, and I love this reticent battle between them. They just can't get right to the point with their relationship. I especially loved the last point Relena made, about how he said he'd stay indefinitely, but not "forever." Genuis, Rose. Pure genius. I love word manipulations. 
