The World Through His Eyes [14 p.II/?]
Posted: Sun May 02, 2004 8:39 pm
AN: OMG I'm sooo sorry! You all missed the best part!
PART TWO
She was trying to unbind their souls again.
She was blocking him out of her head.
He felt the scarlet begin to bleed into his eyes and he grabbed for his sword again. He wouldn?t let her do this. Ever.
?Why?? He looked at her with eyes mixed with red and amber, eyes that screamed anger and cried betrayal, ?What are you doing this? You promised you?d never try and leave me again.? He was facing her with Kikyou at his back, standing close enough feel her breath fanning out across his chest, but not close enough to touch her. Kagome looked up and met his gaze, but regretted it when she felt the walls she?d built so hastily between them crack. She looked away and tried to explain it to him.
?This is for your own good Inuyasha. Kikyou is your true soul-mate. That is what that dream was trying to tell me. You?re only with me because you had no other choice, but now she?s offering a way for you to be free from me.? Here she stopped to choke out a bitter laugh, that might have been sob before continuing, ?Isn?t my being weaker than her what started all this? I couldn?t master even the weakest of miko spells and you teased me? Now you can have the real thing, and because?because of the kind of bond you?d have with her, she?d be?more alive?not quite human, but alive?I don?t?I don?t think she?d have to steal the souls of young girls anymore?You could be happy with her.?
?Inuyasha you must make your choice now. Her or me?? Kikyou moved around so that she was standing next to Kagome, shoulder to shoulder, but her breath was too shallow for him to feel. He looked at both women, so much alike, but eternally different. Who did he want to send the rest of his moral life and beyond with?
?Kagome??
But was he prepared to be instrumental in Kikyou?s death again? Could he go on living happily knowing that his joy was built upon her destruction? But on the flip side, did he want to trust her to protect part of his immortal soul? Kikyou had tired to kill him numerous times since she?d been resurrected while Kagome had done everything within her power to save his life. Kagome had cried for him. Kikyou had always had her own things to shed tears over. Kagome loved him. Kikyou felt hatred for him. Kagome trusted him. Kagome wanted him for more than just vengeance.
Kagome was also trying her hardest to get away from him.
The growling was back, only this time it wasn?t low in this throat. It all came down to that eternal question. Kikyou or Kagome, Inuyasha?
?If only I could safe them both??
?Damn! Don?t make me choose! I?ve promised to protect you both! I don?t fucking know what to do! Do I forfeit my claim on the only person who?s ever loved me for me and tie myself to a woman who wants to drag my soul into the abyss? Do you know what you?re both asking me to do? I CAN?T DO THIS!? He turned his back on both of them, unable to look at them anymore. His stomach churned and he wondered if he was going to throw up.
?You can?t have both of us, Inuyasha. I only have a few weeks left, but I will give you a little more time, if that?s what you need.? With a weak wave of her hand Kikyou called her youkai to her self and disappeared into the sky. Silence reined in the small clearing for a moment then Inuyasha swung around and peered at Kagome with a piercing glare.
?What the hell were you thinking, bitch! She could have killed you, or worse stolen all of your soul! I can?t believe---?
?I was doing it for you! Everything I do is always for you! Can?t you see that I was only trying to make you happy!? Kagome was feeling the return of her emotions now, anger being the chief.
?BY UNBINDING US?!?? He roared. ?You?re my mate! How was that supposed to make me happy?!?? He advanced on her, and she backed up as he came. She?d never seen quite that look in his eye.
?I didn?t see you arguing with it while we were talking about it! You just sat there as she started the spell and never said one word! What was I supposed to think? You basically agreed with her that I didn?t belong here.? She stopped once her back was resting against a large tree. She didn?t have to worry about him coming any closer because her words had stopped him in his tracks.
?Is that what you think? That I didn?t say anything because I wanted to be with her? After everything I?ve done and said to you these last few weeks, you still think I care for her more than I care for you?? He was no longer shouting, but his voice had dropped down into that low tone that was more animal than human he only used when he was beyond pissed. She pushed away from the tree and continued to back up, and he followed, stalking her now.
?Don?t you? Have you forgotten that I can also feel your emotions through our bond? I know you wanted to go to her, and that I was the only thing that was holding you back.? Kagome tripped slightly over an exposed root but didn?t fall. When she looked back up, Inuyasha was much closer than he should have been.
?Do you want to know why I didn?t say anything while you and Kikyou were talking?? He asked ignoring that she?d even spoken, ?When you locked me out of your head it hurt so much that the backlash almost had me lost in my own mind. It felt like those first few moments after I was sealed to that fucking tree! I still can?t feel you!?
?I couldn?t stand it any more! I couldn?t stand knowing how much you still loved her! You only stay with me because you have to and I hate it! If you can?t love me because I?m me I don?t want?I can?t?I can?t just live like that anymore!? There it was out. He would come to his senses and go chasing after Kikyou now. Kagome actually stopped backing up in anticipation of him leaving her. She was shocked when he kept coming closer. Kagome stumbled backward and almost fell this time but caught herself on a tree that she then leaned back onto for support. Why was she still here?
?Why do you keep saying that? What?s makes you think that I don?t want to be with you? Fucking hell, bitch! I?ve tried everything I know to prove to you that I?m happy with this! What more do you need!? He was close enough to touch her now, but he didn?t. His body was too tense to do anything but stand there and look down at her.
?I keep saying it Inuyasha because it?s the truth. You told me that having a family with Kikyou was impossible for you because of me! Do you think I want to be stuck in a relationship that could possibly last the next millennia with someone who can?t love me? I want someone who sees Kagome when they look at me, not their dead lover!? She was still seething, her slipping control over her powers making it?s self known again. Part of her wanted to just let go of the power raging inside. All her problems would just disappear if she did that but then history would be repeating itself. She?d be killing Inuyasha just like Kikyou had with that sealing arrow.
?Your Mine? He growled out through clenched teeth. The very thought of her with someone else made him want to rip everything in his path apart. His youkai side was screaming at him to make her take her words back, and for once his human side was angry enough to agree.
?Are we back to that ?Your Mine? crap again? That?s all you ever say to me, like it?s the end all to every argument! I can?t even talk about trying to love someone else without you growling that out. Yet whenever Kikyou drifts by you go chasing after her! And I?m not aloud to say anything because, hey you two have a past and no ones aloud to touch that sacred cow! I want to know when you become mine! When am I aloud to fight for you? When am I allowed to stop feeling like an intruder, an outsider? If I belong to you then you should belong to me! Or Maybe it would please you more it I were dead! If I were dead and some witch desiring power brought me back, would you love me then?? She screamed out. ? Would you love me, finally belong to be if I was only walking ash and clay like her?? Before she could catch her breath to yell again Inuyasha slammed his hands into the bark above her head. The loud sound of flesh hitting stone made her mouth click shut in an automatic response. He pressed his face close to hers and Kagome was finally forced to meet his beyond angry golden gaze.
?If I ever hear such bull shit come out of your mouth again I?ll?? His voice was harsh in her ears. Everything in her told her to look away, to forget why they were fighting in the first place, but she couldn?t let this go. Couldn?t allow herself to just forgive and forget this time.
?You?ll what, Inuyasha? You can?t stop me from speaking the truth!? Her eyes held nothing but defiance and determination, but inside she was a mess. They were so close now that she couldn?t help but breathe in some of his used oxygen with every breath.
?I can stop you from talking bitch! And if you don?t think I will, just try me. I know what your trying to do, you?re so scared that I?m going to up and leave you that your trying to make it impossible for me to stay! This isn?t about Kikyou dying, or the dream you had the other night. This isn?t even about how you think I feel. This is about you being to afraid to fucking accept that I love you!? She couldn?t breath. No, he couldn?t mean that. There was no way that he loved her. She?d felt what he felt for Kikyou. Saw the pain in his eyes?.The wall that she?d built to keep him out started to crumble and the first trickles of his emotions started seeping into his mind.
?No, no no no no! What am I supposed to do??
?You can?t mean that---?
?To hell with this.? He swore with a low growl before pressing his lips to hers in a bruising kiss. His eyes burned into hers the whole time, not letting her look away. She gasp when one of his hands found it?s way to her waist. Inuyasha used her surprise to deepen the kiss. He was desperate to prove to them both how untrue her words were. To prove that he loved her like he said he did. To prove that she was the one he wanted by his side for all time. He felt the dam she?d put up between them finally shatter and he almost drowned in the feeling of Kagome. She was back in his mind. A wreck emotionally, but he didn?t care. As long as she was here, apart of him, he didn?t care. She was wholly his again. He quickly found the place that was purely her in his mind and sent her a wave of emotion to match the feelings he was trying to put into the kiss.
As for Kagome, her protection against Inuyasha was finally broken, but she couldn?t find the will to care. His assaults on her senses were leaving her weak in the knees. Her eyes began to grow heavy lidded, but she still couldn?t look away from his burning amber gaze. She moaned and gave up the fight to not kiss him back. Inuyasha?s other hand moved from the wall and into her hair. He pulled her head back ,with a gentleness that belied his rough treatment of her lips, so that he could gain a greater access to her mouth.
Some where in the back of his mind he acknowledged that this wasn?t just about giving her proof anymore, but he tried valiantly to ignore those more primal instincts as Kagome tentively started to explore his mouth in the same fashion he was using to probe hers. One of his sharp fangs bit into her questing tongue and the bittersweet taste of blood filled their mouths. Inuyasha suddenly pulled away from her, breathing heavy. The taste of her blood on his tongue had almost cost him his control over his instincts.
Damn, how he wanted her?.
Wanted to do to her?
He finally broke eye contact with her glazed over eyes as he licked at the stream of red trickling out of the corners of her swollen lips. He leaned his forehead against hers and struggled to calm his racing heart.
?I like you alive and warm, Koishii. Not dead like Kikyou. And if you don?t believe be still, I?d be happy to try and prove it to you as many times as I have to.?
T.B.C
A/N
AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you believe it? That chapter was just short of 30 pages long!
Was it worth the wait to see Inuyasha declare his love?
I hope so.
That last seen, from the time he declares ?Your mine.? Until the end has been written since about September?I?ve just been waiting for the right time to work it in?
I know some of you won?t find it as steamy as I did?but the whole bleeding thing?.
Okay?so I?m strange like that?It?s the goth in me I guess?
But I have to say that I?m overwhelmingly happy with this chapter. I hope it didn?t disappoint any of you.
On a more serious note, thank you all for your emails and reviews in regards to the death of my grandfather. I couldn?t have gotten through it without you all supporting me.
Hitomi?s Handy Dandy Guide to things that might have been a little confusing in this chapter:
What in the hell was up with Kagome?s dream? I really had you going there didn?t I? Okay I?m evil?I knew that in the previous chapter?s Inuyasha had almost gotten her to trust him with her heart. He was just being sooo sweet. And I didn?t have the heart to make him do anything horrible so?I gave her a bad dream?
What the hell was Inuyasha trying to pull in the well? Ehehehe?seduce her? I guess he was kida fustrated because he thought they were passed all that shit and then well Kagome wasn?t over it?I mean the poor guy practically agreed to have a family with her?eesh?
The clay pot always causes them SOOOO much trouble! Are you going to kill her?!? I hope that I didn?t turn her into a bitch this time. I truly am getting sick of Kikyou being portrayed as a slut who only cares for herself. Okay I know she?s easy to target, but come on, in some of the later eps. she?s really nice! Kinda?sorta?Just know that I don?t hate her! And I feel sorry for her a lot?And as for if I?m going to kill her?erg?stick around and you?ll find out in about?a chapter or two? Depends on the plot bunnies?
Does Inuyasha really love Kagome, or is this just an evil plot thought up by the crazed author? Yes Inuyasha is now in this for the long haul and now he?d gonna be hell bent on seducing Kagome. Don?t worry kiddies, this fic will stay PG-13.
Remember that I love you all, and that I have finals coming up next week. I hope to see you sometime in the future?I hope?
NEXT TIME ON TWTHE!
Inuyasha finally gets those damn beads off! Are you really ready to give them up, Inuyasha?
Shippou asks to go home with Kagome! Is there a way for the little fox to go down the rabbit hole?
What? A new subdue spell? But who is it for?
AHHH! Where the hell did that squirrel go? Has Mamenosuke Babomaru Yoshi Itokuzu Hibiki Fujita Seiji no Risu Fluffy the extraordinary super savage death defiying youkai squirrel finally gotten tired of nearly being drowned by Shippou? Maybe he just hates his name?
Yep, your in for one of those semi-fluffy relaxing filler chapters!
PART TWO
She was trying to unbind their souls again.
She was blocking him out of her head.
He felt the scarlet begin to bleed into his eyes and he grabbed for his sword again. He wouldn?t let her do this. Ever.
?Why?? He looked at her with eyes mixed with red and amber, eyes that screamed anger and cried betrayal, ?What are you doing this? You promised you?d never try and leave me again.? He was facing her with Kikyou at his back, standing close enough feel her breath fanning out across his chest, but not close enough to touch her. Kagome looked up and met his gaze, but regretted it when she felt the walls she?d built so hastily between them crack. She looked away and tried to explain it to him.
?This is for your own good Inuyasha. Kikyou is your true soul-mate. That is what that dream was trying to tell me. You?re only with me because you had no other choice, but now she?s offering a way for you to be free from me.? Here she stopped to choke out a bitter laugh, that might have been sob before continuing, ?Isn?t my being weaker than her what started all this? I couldn?t master even the weakest of miko spells and you teased me? Now you can have the real thing, and because?because of the kind of bond you?d have with her, she?d be?more alive?not quite human, but alive?I don?t?I don?t think she?d have to steal the souls of young girls anymore?You could be happy with her.?
?Inuyasha you must make your choice now. Her or me?? Kikyou moved around so that she was standing next to Kagome, shoulder to shoulder, but her breath was too shallow for him to feel. He looked at both women, so much alike, but eternally different. Who did he want to send the rest of his moral life and beyond with?
?Kagome??
But was he prepared to be instrumental in Kikyou?s death again? Could he go on living happily knowing that his joy was built upon her destruction? But on the flip side, did he want to trust her to protect part of his immortal soul? Kikyou had tired to kill him numerous times since she?d been resurrected while Kagome had done everything within her power to save his life. Kagome had cried for him. Kikyou had always had her own things to shed tears over. Kagome loved him. Kikyou felt hatred for him. Kagome trusted him. Kagome wanted him for more than just vengeance.
Kagome was also trying her hardest to get away from him.
The growling was back, only this time it wasn?t low in this throat. It all came down to that eternal question. Kikyou or Kagome, Inuyasha?
?If only I could safe them both??
?Damn! Don?t make me choose! I?ve promised to protect you both! I don?t fucking know what to do! Do I forfeit my claim on the only person who?s ever loved me for me and tie myself to a woman who wants to drag my soul into the abyss? Do you know what you?re both asking me to do? I CAN?T DO THIS!? He turned his back on both of them, unable to look at them anymore. His stomach churned and he wondered if he was going to throw up.
?You can?t have both of us, Inuyasha. I only have a few weeks left, but I will give you a little more time, if that?s what you need.? With a weak wave of her hand Kikyou called her youkai to her self and disappeared into the sky. Silence reined in the small clearing for a moment then Inuyasha swung around and peered at Kagome with a piercing glare.
?What the hell were you thinking, bitch! She could have killed you, or worse stolen all of your soul! I can?t believe---?
?I was doing it for you! Everything I do is always for you! Can?t you see that I was only trying to make you happy!? Kagome was feeling the return of her emotions now, anger being the chief.
?BY UNBINDING US?!?? He roared. ?You?re my mate! How was that supposed to make me happy?!?? He advanced on her, and she backed up as he came. She?d never seen quite that look in his eye.
?I didn?t see you arguing with it while we were talking about it! You just sat there as she started the spell and never said one word! What was I supposed to think? You basically agreed with her that I didn?t belong here.? She stopped once her back was resting against a large tree. She didn?t have to worry about him coming any closer because her words had stopped him in his tracks.
?Is that what you think? That I didn?t say anything because I wanted to be with her? After everything I?ve done and said to you these last few weeks, you still think I care for her more than I care for you?? He was no longer shouting, but his voice had dropped down into that low tone that was more animal than human he only used when he was beyond pissed. She pushed away from the tree and continued to back up, and he followed, stalking her now.
?Don?t you? Have you forgotten that I can also feel your emotions through our bond? I know you wanted to go to her, and that I was the only thing that was holding you back.? Kagome tripped slightly over an exposed root but didn?t fall. When she looked back up, Inuyasha was much closer than he should have been.
?Do you want to know why I didn?t say anything while you and Kikyou were talking?? He asked ignoring that she?d even spoken, ?When you locked me out of your head it hurt so much that the backlash almost had me lost in my own mind. It felt like those first few moments after I was sealed to that fucking tree! I still can?t feel you!?
?I couldn?t stand it any more! I couldn?t stand knowing how much you still loved her! You only stay with me because you have to and I hate it! If you can?t love me because I?m me I don?t want?I can?t?I can?t just live like that anymore!? There it was out. He would come to his senses and go chasing after Kikyou now. Kagome actually stopped backing up in anticipation of him leaving her. She was shocked when he kept coming closer. Kagome stumbled backward and almost fell this time but caught herself on a tree that she then leaned back onto for support. Why was she still here?
?Why do you keep saying that? What?s makes you think that I don?t want to be with you? Fucking hell, bitch! I?ve tried everything I know to prove to you that I?m happy with this! What more do you need!? He was close enough to touch her now, but he didn?t. His body was too tense to do anything but stand there and look down at her.
?I keep saying it Inuyasha because it?s the truth. You told me that having a family with Kikyou was impossible for you because of me! Do you think I want to be stuck in a relationship that could possibly last the next millennia with someone who can?t love me? I want someone who sees Kagome when they look at me, not their dead lover!? She was still seething, her slipping control over her powers making it?s self known again. Part of her wanted to just let go of the power raging inside. All her problems would just disappear if she did that but then history would be repeating itself. She?d be killing Inuyasha just like Kikyou had with that sealing arrow.
?Your Mine? He growled out through clenched teeth. The very thought of her with someone else made him want to rip everything in his path apart. His youkai side was screaming at him to make her take her words back, and for once his human side was angry enough to agree.
?Are we back to that ?Your Mine? crap again? That?s all you ever say to me, like it?s the end all to every argument! I can?t even talk about trying to love someone else without you growling that out. Yet whenever Kikyou drifts by you go chasing after her! And I?m not aloud to say anything because, hey you two have a past and no ones aloud to touch that sacred cow! I want to know when you become mine! When am I aloud to fight for you? When am I allowed to stop feeling like an intruder, an outsider? If I belong to you then you should belong to me! Or Maybe it would please you more it I were dead! If I were dead and some witch desiring power brought me back, would you love me then?? She screamed out. ? Would you love me, finally belong to be if I was only walking ash and clay like her?? Before she could catch her breath to yell again Inuyasha slammed his hands into the bark above her head. The loud sound of flesh hitting stone made her mouth click shut in an automatic response. He pressed his face close to hers and Kagome was finally forced to meet his beyond angry golden gaze.
?If I ever hear such bull shit come out of your mouth again I?ll?? His voice was harsh in her ears. Everything in her told her to look away, to forget why they were fighting in the first place, but she couldn?t let this go. Couldn?t allow herself to just forgive and forget this time.
?You?ll what, Inuyasha? You can?t stop me from speaking the truth!? Her eyes held nothing but defiance and determination, but inside she was a mess. They were so close now that she couldn?t help but breathe in some of his used oxygen with every breath.
?I can stop you from talking bitch! And if you don?t think I will, just try me. I know what your trying to do, you?re so scared that I?m going to up and leave you that your trying to make it impossible for me to stay! This isn?t about Kikyou dying, or the dream you had the other night. This isn?t even about how you think I feel. This is about you being to afraid to fucking accept that I love you!? She couldn?t breath. No, he couldn?t mean that. There was no way that he loved her. She?d felt what he felt for Kikyou. Saw the pain in his eyes?.The wall that she?d built to keep him out started to crumble and the first trickles of his emotions started seeping into his mind.
?No, no no no no! What am I supposed to do??
?You can?t mean that---?
?To hell with this.? He swore with a low growl before pressing his lips to hers in a bruising kiss. His eyes burned into hers the whole time, not letting her look away. She gasp when one of his hands found it?s way to her waist. Inuyasha used her surprise to deepen the kiss. He was desperate to prove to them both how untrue her words were. To prove that he loved her like he said he did. To prove that she was the one he wanted by his side for all time. He felt the dam she?d put up between them finally shatter and he almost drowned in the feeling of Kagome. She was back in his mind. A wreck emotionally, but he didn?t care. As long as she was here, apart of him, he didn?t care. She was wholly his again. He quickly found the place that was purely her in his mind and sent her a wave of emotion to match the feelings he was trying to put into the kiss.
As for Kagome, her protection against Inuyasha was finally broken, but she couldn?t find the will to care. His assaults on her senses were leaving her weak in the knees. Her eyes began to grow heavy lidded, but she still couldn?t look away from his burning amber gaze. She moaned and gave up the fight to not kiss him back. Inuyasha?s other hand moved from the wall and into her hair. He pulled her head back ,with a gentleness that belied his rough treatment of her lips, so that he could gain a greater access to her mouth.
Some where in the back of his mind he acknowledged that this wasn?t just about giving her proof anymore, but he tried valiantly to ignore those more primal instincts as Kagome tentively started to explore his mouth in the same fashion he was using to probe hers. One of his sharp fangs bit into her questing tongue and the bittersweet taste of blood filled their mouths. Inuyasha suddenly pulled away from her, breathing heavy. The taste of her blood on his tongue had almost cost him his control over his instincts.
Damn, how he wanted her?.
Wanted to do to her?
He finally broke eye contact with her glazed over eyes as he licked at the stream of red trickling out of the corners of her swollen lips. He leaned his forehead against hers and struggled to calm his racing heart.
?I like you alive and warm, Koishii. Not dead like Kikyou. And if you don?t believe be still, I?d be happy to try and prove it to you as many times as I have to.?
T.B.C
A/N
AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you believe it? That chapter was just short of 30 pages long!
Was it worth the wait to see Inuyasha declare his love?
I hope so.
That last seen, from the time he declares ?Your mine.? Until the end has been written since about September?I?ve just been waiting for the right time to work it in?
I know some of you won?t find it as steamy as I did?but the whole bleeding thing?.
Okay?so I?m strange like that?It?s the goth in me I guess?
But I have to say that I?m overwhelmingly happy with this chapter. I hope it didn?t disappoint any of you.
On a more serious note, thank you all for your emails and reviews in regards to the death of my grandfather. I couldn?t have gotten through it without you all supporting me.
Hitomi?s Handy Dandy Guide to things that might have been a little confusing in this chapter:
What in the hell was up with Kagome?s dream? I really had you going there didn?t I? Okay I?m evil?I knew that in the previous chapter?s Inuyasha had almost gotten her to trust him with her heart. He was just being sooo sweet. And I didn?t have the heart to make him do anything horrible so?I gave her a bad dream?
What the hell was Inuyasha trying to pull in the well? Ehehehe?seduce her? I guess he was kida fustrated because he thought they were passed all that shit and then well Kagome wasn?t over it?I mean the poor guy practically agreed to have a family with her?eesh?
The clay pot always causes them SOOOO much trouble! Are you going to kill her?!? I hope that I didn?t turn her into a bitch this time. I truly am getting sick of Kikyou being portrayed as a slut who only cares for herself. Okay I know she?s easy to target, but come on, in some of the later eps. she?s really nice! Kinda?sorta?Just know that I don?t hate her! And I feel sorry for her a lot?And as for if I?m going to kill her?erg?stick around and you?ll find out in about?a chapter or two? Depends on the plot bunnies?
Does Inuyasha really love Kagome, or is this just an evil plot thought up by the crazed author? Yes Inuyasha is now in this for the long haul and now he?d gonna be hell bent on seducing Kagome. Don?t worry kiddies, this fic will stay PG-13.
Remember that I love you all, and that I have finals coming up next week. I hope to see you sometime in the future?I hope?
NEXT TIME ON TWTHE!
Inuyasha finally gets those damn beads off! Are you really ready to give them up, Inuyasha?
Shippou asks to go home with Kagome! Is there a way for the little fox to go down the rabbit hole?
What? A new subdue spell? But who is it for?
AHHH! Where the hell did that squirrel go? Has Mamenosuke Babomaru Yoshi Itokuzu Hibiki Fujita Seiji no Risu Fluffy the extraordinary super savage death defiying youkai squirrel finally gotten tired of nearly being drowned by Shippou? Maybe he just hates his name?
Yep, your in for one of those semi-fluffy relaxing filler chapters!
But I totally feel for her and how it seems like Inuyasha is only with her because Kikyo is some kind of undead . . . thing. No, Kagome, believe!