Afraid To Love Chapter 5
Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 12:07 am
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and Co. They belong to Bandai and Sunrise. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making a profit from it.
Afraid to Love
Written by: WingZero2118
Chapter Five
?I wonder what Heero?s thinking about right now?? Relena thought aloud to herself. ?He seems so distant to me, yet he?s talking to me more now than he ever has in the time we?ve know each other.? ?What?s on your mind Heero? And why won?t you tell me how you feel? I know it may be hard for you to accept your feelings for anyone, let alone me, seeing as how you never express your feelings about anything. Please don?t take to long in deciding what you?ll do Heero. I don?t think I can live like this much longer.?
A short way down the hall, Heero lay outstretched on his bed toiling with a jumble of thoughts that were running through his head. Closing his eyes he envisioned a picture of Relena.
?Relena. There?s so much that I want to say to you, but I don?t know how to say it. I guess there?s just no escaping you. The harder I try to get over you, the more your image seems to haunt me. Now, after all this time apart, it still pains me to see you. The memories of my past and how I treated you keep me from being able to express how I feel. I just need a bit longer to come to grips with these feelings, and figure out how to work around the pain. I just hope that she doesn?t move on without me. I know I don?t have much time on my hands, but Quatre and the others aren?t making this any easier. Relena. Please wait for me. I need to be with you.?
Torn by his emotions for Relena and the pain of his reckless past, Heero lay awake in bed for hours before he was able to drift into a very restless sleep filled with disturbing dreams and nightmares. Heero awoke twice from startling dreams with a jolt, sweating and breathing hard.
?This can?t be happening now. Not while Relena?s here. The last thing I need is for her to find out that I?ve been dreaming about her death.?
Putting those thoughts in the back of his mind as best he could, Heero forced himself to think of things a bit happier to try and ease his mind of the troubled dreams and to keep himself from having another nightmare of Relena?s death. It seemed to work, for he fell into what seemed to be a much deeper more relaxed sleep, until suddenly, without warning, it started again. This time the dream was even more real than the previous ones.
They were all at Quatre?s and it was Christmas time. Everyone was standing around Relena, looking very excited. She was showing them all something on her left hand.
It was an engagement ring!
Heero saw himself in his dream receiving many pats-on-the-back, handshakes, and heart felt congratulations for finally doing what he should have done two years ago.
All was going extremely well and everyone was having such a wonderful time when one of Quatre?s servants rushed in. He had a very grave and severe look on his face as he made his way to Quatre and whispered something in his ear.
?Are you certain about this?? Quatre asked in a shocked and concerned tone.
?Quite sure sir,? the man replied.
Quatre stood up and addressed his friends. ?If I could have everyone?s attention please,? he said quite calmly. ?There is a huge sandstorm heading this way extremely fast. There has also been five cyclones spotted within this storm. I now ask you all to quickly and calmly follow me to the underground shelter while there is still time.?
Everyone became very distressed and alarmed, but stayed calm under Quatre?s guidance. They all followed him out of the hall that they were in and down a corridor heading towards the kitchen and dining room. Quatre opened a portion of the wall that was secretly a door and led them down a hidden passageway behind the kitchen.
Outside the raging sandstorm was upon them. It hit the palace with a force equaling the combined power of all five gundam suits. Walls were obliterated and the ceilings in several rooms collapsed while others were blown away completely. Quatre broke into a run and everyone followed closely at his heels.
They were almost at the door to the shelter when without warning the wall to their left gave way and crashed into the wall on the other side almost blocking the passageway entirely. Quatre, Duo, Heero, and Catherine were trapped on the side closest to the door while Relena, Trowa, and WuFei were blocked on the other side.
?Relena!? Heero shouted.
?Trowa!? screamed Catherine.
?It?s all right. We?re ok,? Trowa yelled back. ?There?s a small hole in the wall that we are going to try and crawl through to get to you. Just wait there for us.?
Since WuFei was the smallest, he went through first to make sure that the other two would fit.
?It?s fine,? he shouted back through. ?You?ll have plenty of room to get through.?
Relena came next and was almost out when a loud cracking noise was heard from over head. Heero looked up and saw that the ceiling of the hallway was about to give way.
?Relena get out of there!? he shouted, rushing to try and pull her to safety.
But at that very second the ceiling broke loose and crashed down on the already toppled wall.
?No!? Heero screamed.
He grabbed Relena?s hands and tried to pull her free but she was trapped by the debris of concrete. The crash had opened another hole in the passage and seconds later Trowa was at his side moving rubble to help free Relena. Soon they were joined by the by Duo, WuFei, Quatre, and Catherine.
?Leave me,? Relena pleaded with them. ?I?m not going to make it. Go on and save yourselves. Don?t die on account of me, I?m not worth it. Please, I?m begging you. Save yourselves!?
?No, I won?t leave you Relena. You have to stay with me!? Heero was frantic. He was still moving debris away from the spot where Relena was trapped and had to watch as she slipped from consciousness. ?No! Relena! Please don?t leave me!? Heero dropped to his knees at the spot where she lay trapped in the passage and cried.
The storm continued to rage on all around them and soon Quatre and the others realized that it was needless for them to all die. Facing the facts, as hard as it may have been, Trowa and WuFei seized Heero under the arms and pulled him towards the door.
?What are you doing?!? he shouted at them. ?Leave me here! I don?t want to live anymore!?
?Stop it Heero,? Quatre yelled back at him. ?Think of Relena. She wouldn?t want you to die like this. It would be an insult to her memory to just give up. Do you want that Heero??
But he didn?t answer. All they heard were the cries of pain as he struggled to break their grip on him.
?I?m really sorry about this Heero, but its for your own good,? WuFei said and then he hit him at the base of the neck knocking him unconscious.
Then they carried him through the door and down into the shelter as Quatre locked them all in. After a few minutes, Heero regained consciousness. Realizing that Relena was not there in the shelter, he lost it.
?NO! RELENA!? he shouted as he woke from the dream, heart pounding and his mind racing. Sweat was beading on his forehead and his breath was short and fast. Realizing that he was in his bed and not a storm shelter he lowered his head into his hands and rested his elbows on his knees and just sat there, shaking from the extreme trauma he was experiencing from the dream.
?It was just a dream Heero,? he told himself. ?Relena is still alive and well just down the hall in her own room fast asleep.?
The stress and severe trauma of the intense dream proved to be too much for Heero to handle and tears filled his eyes as the once seemingly invincible pilot and fighter began to cry for the first time in his life.
Heero had been wrong about Relena though, for she was not fast asleep like he thought. She too, was having trouble sleeping for almost the exact same reason. When Heero had screamed out from the horror of the dream, Relena had heard it and jumped up, startled at the sound of her name.
Finally, realizing that it was Heero?s voice that she had heard, she ran from her room and down the hall to his, flung the door open and stopped in her tracks at the sight she saw before her.
?Heero what?s the matter?? she asked in a soft and concerned tone. But he didn?t answer. He just sat there on his bed and continued to cry.
?Oh Heero,? she exclaimed. ?Please tell me what?s wrong. Why did you shout out my name??
Finally, answering through the tears he said, ?It was a dream.?
?I?m so sorry,? she replied. ?It must have been terrible if it made you shout out for real.? She moved as if to sit next to him on the bed to try and comfort him but his next comment made her stop dead in her tracks.
?Stay away from me,? he said.
?Why Heero? What?s the matter? Why do you want me to stay away??
?It?s not safe for you to be around me. Now please, just go. It?s better this way, and I need to be alone.?
?But Heero,? she started but was cut off by Heero mid sentence.
?Just go Relena! It?s not safe for you to be by me. You can never be around me ever again, so I am going to leave and never come back so that nothing bad will ever happen to you.? He got up out of bed and grabbed his bags and began to pack.
?What are you talking about Heero? You?re talking nonsense. Why are you leaving??
With the joy that had been on Heero?s face the past few days gone and a stern, serious expression in its place he replied in a quavering voice, ?I?m leaving so that you won?t die.?
Afraid to Love
Written by: WingZero2118
Chapter Five
?I wonder what Heero?s thinking about right now?? Relena thought aloud to herself. ?He seems so distant to me, yet he?s talking to me more now than he ever has in the time we?ve know each other.? ?What?s on your mind Heero? And why won?t you tell me how you feel? I know it may be hard for you to accept your feelings for anyone, let alone me, seeing as how you never express your feelings about anything. Please don?t take to long in deciding what you?ll do Heero. I don?t think I can live like this much longer.?
A short way down the hall, Heero lay outstretched on his bed toiling with a jumble of thoughts that were running through his head. Closing his eyes he envisioned a picture of Relena.
?Relena. There?s so much that I want to say to you, but I don?t know how to say it. I guess there?s just no escaping you. The harder I try to get over you, the more your image seems to haunt me. Now, after all this time apart, it still pains me to see you. The memories of my past and how I treated you keep me from being able to express how I feel. I just need a bit longer to come to grips with these feelings, and figure out how to work around the pain. I just hope that she doesn?t move on without me. I know I don?t have much time on my hands, but Quatre and the others aren?t making this any easier. Relena. Please wait for me. I need to be with you.?
Torn by his emotions for Relena and the pain of his reckless past, Heero lay awake in bed for hours before he was able to drift into a very restless sleep filled with disturbing dreams and nightmares. Heero awoke twice from startling dreams with a jolt, sweating and breathing hard.
?This can?t be happening now. Not while Relena?s here. The last thing I need is for her to find out that I?ve been dreaming about her death.?
Putting those thoughts in the back of his mind as best he could, Heero forced himself to think of things a bit happier to try and ease his mind of the troubled dreams and to keep himself from having another nightmare of Relena?s death. It seemed to work, for he fell into what seemed to be a much deeper more relaxed sleep, until suddenly, without warning, it started again. This time the dream was even more real than the previous ones.
They were all at Quatre?s and it was Christmas time. Everyone was standing around Relena, looking very excited. She was showing them all something on her left hand.
It was an engagement ring!
Heero saw himself in his dream receiving many pats-on-the-back, handshakes, and heart felt congratulations for finally doing what he should have done two years ago.
All was going extremely well and everyone was having such a wonderful time when one of Quatre?s servants rushed in. He had a very grave and severe look on his face as he made his way to Quatre and whispered something in his ear.
?Are you certain about this?? Quatre asked in a shocked and concerned tone.
?Quite sure sir,? the man replied.
Quatre stood up and addressed his friends. ?If I could have everyone?s attention please,? he said quite calmly. ?There is a huge sandstorm heading this way extremely fast. There has also been five cyclones spotted within this storm. I now ask you all to quickly and calmly follow me to the underground shelter while there is still time.?
Everyone became very distressed and alarmed, but stayed calm under Quatre?s guidance. They all followed him out of the hall that they were in and down a corridor heading towards the kitchen and dining room. Quatre opened a portion of the wall that was secretly a door and led them down a hidden passageway behind the kitchen.
Outside the raging sandstorm was upon them. It hit the palace with a force equaling the combined power of all five gundam suits. Walls were obliterated and the ceilings in several rooms collapsed while others were blown away completely. Quatre broke into a run and everyone followed closely at his heels.
They were almost at the door to the shelter when without warning the wall to their left gave way and crashed into the wall on the other side almost blocking the passageway entirely. Quatre, Duo, Heero, and Catherine were trapped on the side closest to the door while Relena, Trowa, and WuFei were blocked on the other side.
?Relena!? Heero shouted.
?Trowa!? screamed Catherine.
?It?s all right. We?re ok,? Trowa yelled back. ?There?s a small hole in the wall that we are going to try and crawl through to get to you. Just wait there for us.?
Since WuFei was the smallest, he went through first to make sure that the other two would fit.
?It?s fine,? he shouted back through. ?You?ll have plenty of room to get through.?
Relena came next and was almost out when a loud cracking noise was heard from over head. Heero looked up and saw that the ceiling of the hallway was about to give way.
?Relena get out of there!? he shouted, rushing to try and pull her to safety.
But at that very second the ceiling broke loose and crashed down on the already toppled wall.
?No!? Heero screamed.
He grabbed Relena?s hands and tried to pull her free but she was trapped by the debris of concrete. The crash had opened another hole in the passage and seconds later Trowa was at his side moving rubble to help free Relena. Soon they were joined by the by Duo, WuFei, Quatre, and Catherine.
?Leave me,? Relena pleaded with them. ?I?m not going to make it. Go on and save yourselves. Don?t die on account of me, I?m not worth it. Please, I?m begging you. Save yourselves!?
?No, I won?t leave you Relena. You have to stay with me!? Heero was frantic. He was still moving debris away from the spot where Relena was trapped and had to watch as she slipped from consciousness. ?No! Relena! Please don?t leave me!? Heero dropped to his knees at the spot where she lay trapped in the passage and cried.
The storm continued to rage on all around them and soon Quatre and the others realized that it was needless for them to all die. Facing the facts, as hard as it may have been, Trowa and WuFei seized Heero under the arms and pulled him towards the door.
?What are you doing?!? he shouted at them. ?Leave me here! I don?t want to live anymore!?
?Stop it Heero,? Quatre yelled back at him. ?Think of Relena. She wouldn?t want you to die like this. It would be an insult to her memory to just give up. Do you want that Heero??
But he didn?t answer. All they heard were the cries of pain as he struggled to break their grip on him.
?I?m really sorry about this Heero, but its for your own good,? WuFei said and then he hit him at the base of the neck knocking him unconscious.
Then they carried him through the door and down into the shelter as Quatre locked them all in. After a few minutes, Heero regained consciousness. Realizing that Relena was not there in the shelter, he lost it.
?NO! RELENA!? he shouted as he woke from the dream, heart pounding and his mind racing. Sweat was beading on his forehead and his breath was short and fast. Realizing that he was in his bed and not a storm shelter he lowered his head into his hands and rested his elbows on his knees and just sat there, shaking from the extreme trauma he was experiencing from the dream.
?It was just a dream Heero,? he told himself. ?Relena is still alive and well just down the hall in her own room fast asleep.?
The stress and severe trauma of the intense dream proved to be too much for Heero to handle and tears filled his eyes as the once seemingly invincible pilot and fighter began to cry for the first time in his life.
Heero had been wrong about Relena though, for she was not fast asleep like he thought. She too, was having trouble sleeping for almost the exact same reason. When Heero had screamed out from the horror of the dream, Relena had heard it and jumped up, startled at the sound of her name.
Finally, realizing that it was Heero?s voice that she had heard, she ran from her room and down the hall to his, flung the door open and stopped in her tracks at the sight she saw before her.
?Heero what?s the matter?? she asked in a soft and concerned tone. But he didn?t answer. He just sat there on his bed and continued to cry.
?Oh Heero,? she exclaimed. ?Please tell me what?s wrong. Why did you shout out my name??
Finally, answering through the tears he said, ?It was a dream.?
?I?m so sorry,? she replied. ?It must have been terrible if it made you shout out for real.? She moved as if to sit next to him on the bed to try and comfort him but his next comment made her stop dead in her tracks.
?Stay away from me,? he said.
?Why Heero? What?s the matter? Why do you want me to stay away??
?It?s not safe for you to be around me. Now please, just go. It?s better this way, and I need to be alone.?
?But Heero,? she started but was cut off by Heero mid sentence.
?Just go Relena! It?s not safe for you to be by me. You can never be around me ever again, so I am going to leave and never come back so that nothing bad will ever happen to you.? He got up out of bed and grabbed his bags and began to pack.
?What are you talking about Heero? You?re talking nonsense. Why are you leaving??
With the joy that had been on Heero?s face the past few days gone and a stern, serious expression in its place he replied in a quavering voice, ?I?m leaving so that you won?t die.?
