The Price of Freedom (short comedy one shot)
Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2004 2:34 am
A very short comedy piece. I was thinking of something a family member did . . . so it?s based off a true story. And I wanted to avoid homework. Go me!
Disclaimer: I own nothin'! Especially not Gundam Wing!
Relena felt the water wash away a week?s worth of grime and stress. This was the only peace she?d had ever since They had started showing up. It had all started somewhat innocently, when some reporter had asked a question about religion at a press conference and she had given the same answer she always had: that she refused to promote any religion regardless of her personal beliefs since she feel that would be morally unfair of her as a political figure who represented the interests of so many diverse people.
Usually, there were no problems with that answer, but unfortunately this time a certain group had gotten it into their proselytizing heads that having the Vice Foreign Minister speaking their version of life?s answers then getting converts would be that much easier.
At first, they had come up to her while she was having lunch. Of course she was appalled at being assaulted and Heero had shown the person out immediately. They had sustained only minor wounds, and they were lucky they had only been holding a book as they had run up to her else they might have been shot. That was just the start.
After the first debacle, they asked for an appointment to make amends. Relena, charitable as always, agreed and so scheduled some time out of her busy day to meet with them. Of course, they took her friendly acceptance as encouragement and suddenly she found herself besieged by appointments from various people trying to preach to her. The worst part was that since they always had different people coming in, she didn?t know who she could deny appointments to and who to see. Therefore, she finally stated that she would take legal measure if they kept wasting her time that was better spent doing her job. If they wasted any more of her time, which was meant for all the people of the world and the colonies then she would be forced to take a stand and that would just hurt all of them.
For a day, she bought herself some time.
Then, she had found pamphlets by her bed. They were planted all over her house. In every drawer, on every counter, in pockets of jackets, in umbrellas, stuffed in the side of cushions. . . it just kept going. She had Heero run background checks on every member of her staff and had to eject a maid and cook from her service.
It was absolutely mind boggling that these people didn?t get the clue. She wasn?t going to convert and by harassing her now in her private time they were just making her feel negatively towards them. Her hand clenched the soap too hard and it hit the floor with a plop before making a curvy path to the drain where she bent to pick it up again.
There was a knock at the door to the bathroom.
?Yes?? Nearly leaping from the shower she grabbed a fluffy white towel and hastily wrapped it around herself as she poured over possible scenarios in her mind. She said only to come see her if it was an emergency. What went wrong?
?Relena,? Heero said in a serious voice, obviously averting his eyes as she emerged dripping from the bathroom. ?You have to come help. We can?t get Them to go away.?
Her eye twitched. Them. She knew it, she just knew it. They had even found a way to interrupt her most private of times, her shower, and now she just couldn?t hold back the righteous anger any longer. They wanted to talk about final judgments? Well, she was about to lay down hers and she didn?t care what the consequences were. This was her home and her time, so Relena would handle this as she liked, and not as the sane and calm Vice Foreign Minister.
As she marched, clutching the towel, Heero tried to tell her what was going on (still not daring to look at her). It seemed that they had snuck in somehow by making a deal with the gardeners and now a ring of about four of them were singing songs on her front porch and saying that any attempts to remove them violently would mean they would go straight to the press. Their only demand was that Relena come listen to them and give them real consideration.
She was going to give them something; that was for sure.
Stepping out, hair still dripping and water glistening from her body, Relena confronted several more bodyguards and a small ring of people singing and rocking back and forth while sitting on the ground holding hands. The bodyguards looked relieved and shocked at Relena?s entrance and her state of dress.
?That?s enough! All of you!?
?Oh Miss Peacecraft, have you finally come back to us?? Said the closest one, standing up and making her way to stand at the door in front of the steps where Relena had halted.
?I was never with you in the first place, now get off my property and leave me alone. I?m not wasting any more of my time dealing with you!?
?That isn?t very kind, Miss Peacecraft.? Said a man, taking a book out of a pocket. ?Let me tell you something that will change your mind.?
?No! None of that. I?ve had enough. Don?t you understand me?? How could people speak the same language and still not communicate to one another. ?You?re pushing me too far.?
?It?s when we?ve reached our limit that we can finally find what is truly meant for us in life. As the chapter- - - ?
?No!? That was it. No more. Her patience had run out. ?Out! Get out right this second! I don?t want to see even one of you again, and if anyone else from your order so much as pulls out a book within fifty feet of me I will have you ejected from my presence faster than you?d ever believe possible. Just be glad I won?t make a statement about what you all have been doing to me, or else a healthy portion of the Earth Sphere would abhor you. Now OUT!?
All her bodyguards had their eyes on the ground, except for one. As soon as he pulled himself together he grabbed Relena and pulled her in as the four targets of her ire made a quick break for the exit. Heero?s face was red and his jaw was clenched tightly as she felt his hands on her bare back.
Bare?
Oh for everything holy, when she had gestured emphatically at the missionaries her towel had fallen off and she hadn?t even noticed.
No wonder everyone had been so horrified.
And of course, with such strict moral codes as They were expected to follow she had basically just declared herself about as far away from being acceptable as she could be.
Was the price of her newly gained freedom too high? She could feel herself blushing from the tips of her hair on down to her toenails.
?I?ll hunt them down. Every last one.? She heard him murmur it, as if he didn?t know he had even spoken out loud. The accompanying tightness of his protective hug suddenly made her bruised and humiliated ego feel a lot better.
She snuggled into Heero and he shifted his weight, practically radiating discomfort now that he was aware of their proximity and her state of undress. Hearing his heartbeat race, she gave the shocked soldier a peck on the cheek.
?Thanks for bringing me inside. Would you kindly help me back upstairs?? He nodded, and Relena let him puzzle over how to manage it while she smiled internally.
Yes, it had been worth it.
Disclaimer: I own nothin'! Especially not Gundam Wing!
Relena felt the water wash away a week?s worth of grime and stress. This was the only peace she?d had ever since They had started showing up. It had all started somewhat innocently, when some reporter had asked a question about religion at a press conference and she had given the same answer she always had: that she refused to promote any religion regardless of her personal beliefs since she feel that would be morally unfair of her as a political figure who represented the interests of so many diverse people.
Usually, there were no problems with that answer, but unfortunately this time a certain group had gotten it into their proselytizing heads that having the Vice Foreign Minister speaking their version of life?s answers then getting converts would be that much easier.
At first, they had come up to her while she was having lunch. Of course she was appalled at being assaulted and Heero had shown the person out immediately. They had sustained only minor wounds, and they were lucky they had only been holding a book as they had run up to her else they might have been shot. That was just the start.
After the first debacle, they asked for an appointment to make amends. Relena, charitable as always, agreed and so scheduled some time out of her busy day to meet with them. Of course, they took her friendly acceptance as encouragement and suddenly she found herself besieged by appointments from various people trying to preach to her. The worst part was that since they always had different people coming in, she didn?t know who she could deny appointments to and who to see. Therefore, she finally stated that she would take legal measure if they kept wasting her time that was better spent doing her job. If they wasted any more of her time, which was meant for all the people of the world and the colonies then she would be forced to take a stand and that would just hurt all of them.
For a day, she bought herself some time.
Then, she had found pamphlets by her bed. They were planted all over her house. In every drawer, on every counter, in pockets of jackets, in umbrellas, stuffed in the side of cushions. . . it just kept going. She had Heero run background checks on every member of her staff and had to eject a maid and cook from her service.
It was absolutely mind boggling that these people didn?t get the clue. She wasn?t going to convert and by harassing her now in her private time they were just making her feel negatively towards them. Her hand clenched the soap too hard and it hit the floor with a plop before making a curvy path to the drain where she bent to pick it up again.
There was a knock at the door to the bathroom.
?Yes?? Nearly leaping from the shower she grabbed a fluffy white towel and hastily wrapped it around herself as she poured over possible scenarios in her mind. She said only to come see her if it was an emergency. What went wrong?
?Relena,? Heero said in a serious voice, obviously averting his eyes as she emerged dripping from the bathroom. ?You have to come help. We can?t get Them to go away.?
Her eye twitched. Them. She knew it, she just knew it. They had even found a way to interrupt her most private of times, her shower, and now she just couldn?t hold back the righteous anger any longer. They wanted to talk about final judgments? Well, she was about to lay down hers and she didn?t care what the consequences were. This was her home and her time, so Relena would handle this as she liked, and not as the sane and calm Vice Foreign Minister.
As she marched, clutching the towel, Heero tried to tell her what was going on (still not daring to look at her). It seemed that they had snuck in somehow by making a deal with the gardeners and now a ring of about four of them were singing songs on her front porch and saying that any attempts to remove them violently would mean they would go straight to the press. Their only demand was that Relena come listen to them and give them real consideration.
She was going to give them something; that was for sure.
Stepping out, hair still dripping and water glistening from her body, Relena confronted several more bodyguards and a small ring of people singing and rocking back and forth while sitting on the ground holding hands. The bodyguards looked relieved and shocked at Relena?s entrance and her state of dress.
?That?s enough! All of you!?
?Oh Miss Peacecraft, have you finally come back to us?? Said the closest one, standing up and making her way to stand at the door in front of the steps where Relena had halted.
?I was never with you in the first place, now get off my property and leave me alone. I?m not wasting any more of my time dealing with you!?
?That isn?t very kind, Miss Peacecraft.? Said a man, taking a book out of a pocket. ?Let me tell you something that will change your mind.?
?No! None of that. I?ve had enough. Don?t you understand me?? How could people speak the same language and still not communicate to one another. ?You?re pushing me too far.?
?It?s when we?ve reached our limit that we can finally find what is truly meant for us in life. As the chapter- - - ?
?No!? That was it. No more. Her patience had run out. ?Out! Get out right this second! I don?t want to see even one of you again, and if anyone else from your order so much as pulls out a book within fifty feet of me I will have you ejected from my presence faster than you?d ever believe possible. Just be glad I won?t make a statement about what you all have been doing to me, or else a healthy portion of the Earth Sphere would abhor you. Now OUT!?
All her bodyguards had their eyes on the ground, except for one. As soon as he pulled himself together he grabbed Relena and pulled her in as the four targets of her ire made a quick break for the exit. Heero?s face was red and his jaw was clenched tightly as she felt his hands on her bare back.
Bare?
Oh for everything holy, when she had gestured emphatically at the missionaries her towel had fallen off and she hadn?t even noticed.
No wonder everyone had been so horrified.
And of course, with such strict moral codes as They were expected to follow she had basically just declared herself about as far away from being acceptable as she could be.
Was the price of her newly gained freedom too high? She could feel herself blushing from the tips of her hair on down to her toenails.
?I?ll hunt them down. Every last one.? She heard him murmur it, as if he didn?t know he had even spoken out loud. The accompanying tightness of his protective hug suddenly made her bruised and humiliated ego feel a lot better.
She snuggled into Heero and he shifted his weight, practically radiating discomfort now that he was aware of their proximity and her state of undress. Hearing his heartbeat race, she gave the shocked soldier a peck on the cheek.
?Thanks for bringing me inside. Would you kindly help me back upstairs?? He nodded, and Relena let him puzzle over how to manage it while she smiled internally.
Yes, it had been worth it.
Sequel, sequel, sequel!!!! 