Disclaimer: (see first chapter)
Chapter 5
A drop of water hit Tifa's hand from the ceiling as she shook a drink, mixing the ingredients together. Looking up, she noted the new wet spot and silently pictured a slightly larger repair bill in her mind. Resentment welled in her heart and she squashed it. She didn't have a budget to repair things yet because she wasn't making much money (using Rufus' money was simply not an option in her mind). She wasn't making much money because most of her customer base had left her. Her customer base had left her because she had married their hated enemy and no one was going to support any endeavor put on by a class traitor. Tifa wished she had thought things out more thoroughly when she made that agreement originally.
Everyday, just a little more, any enjoyment of the freedom she had left chipped away just a bit. The worst part of it was that she couldn't even bring herself to blame Rufus when this was all the fault of her own bad planning and lack of foresight.
The hotel was three fourths of the way constructed and Tifa watched the building that had sealed her future with a resigned hate. It was the source of all her troubles in one way or another, and it would forever be a testament to her carelessness. Another drop landed on her hand while she had paused to look out the window. The rain just wouldn't abate now that it was spring.
It was only a few months, but those months had simply brought more complexity and confusion into her life. The routine that she and Rufus had fallen into had lulled her with the general consistency of it. Since she worked late and he mostly worked early, they rarely saw one another during the week. Tifa got home just after Rufus was in bed, and Rufus got up a few hours before Tifa did. Thankfully, Tifa's insomnia had abated within a few weeks of her moving into the apartment even if it never really felt like a shared living space so much as her intruding upon him. The uneasiness was always there, but it was just a buzz in the back of her mind these days.
Every seventh day, the day that she always closed the bar and took time for herself, they were generally forced to spend time together. Tifa would spend the day with Yuffie if she wasn't out on a job and in the evening Rufus and Tifa would go out to eat at The Reactor to keep up appearances. Additionally, sometimes Tifa had to get Yuffie to run the bar for a night whenever there was some formal engagement that Tifa had to attend with Rufus.
None of this particularly bothered Tifa, though there was a continuous sense of discomfort to it. At every engagement and so long as they were in public he was attentive, affectionate even, holding her hand and hugging her every so often. Sometimes, although rarely, they would kiss one another, but it was always a quick peck on the cheek and never like the one they had had at the wedding reception. There had never been a whisper of rumor that their feelings were anything but loving towards one another and in fact it was becoming notorious as a romantic tale of how they had met and secretly courted. It had been fun coming up with the story at the time, but now she thought that if one more debutante sighed over her supposed "rescue" from jail that she would vomit expensive foods all over someone's ballroom dress.
The second they were in private again, Rufus would pull away from her. A couple times, recently, he had lingered a moment with a hand around her waist or held a hug a little longer than necessary, but sometimes people got caught up in the moment and she didn't think much of it. Other than the formal bits, he treated her more like a roommate than a wife. What she did find herself suspicious of were the gifts.
Some days she would wake up to find a box by her bedside. More often then not it was jewelry, but she figured it was just so she would fit in more with the glittering society women. The only thing that confused her is why he picked them out, instead of sending her to do it. Perhaps he was worried she wouldn't spend enough (as he complained about her tendency to favor things just because they were cheap). As it was she only used the card he had given her to buy food for herself.
Of course this stubborn wish to stay separate from the ties of his money was something that could only last for so long when her money was depleting at an alarming rate while she kept the bar open. She refused to cut the salaries of either Yuffie, who worked herself ragged some days trying to keep the atmosphere happy, or Simon who came to work faithfully and did his job without questions. If things kept going as badly as they had been then she would have to sell the bar.
Maybe Simon would be interested, and if so then she'd just give it to him. It wasn't as if she were in any great need for basic necessities. If she felt that she really needed to start another business she could always just sell a materia. The problem was that she wasn't sure if that would help anything. Who would come to her place? Those high class women in their furs and gems? Not likely. Her people had always been the working people of the city, even if at the moment they didn't want to embrace their seeming prodigal daughter.
"You gonna drink that?" Yuffie sat down on the stool and made a motion to serve the drink to her. It was a Wednesday and there were only two or three people in the bar, all tired and most of them construction workers who stopped off after work every day. Sometimes they were people looking to get in good with the boss' wife, but once Tifa made it clear that she didn't go in for that sort of behavior it settled down to just a couple regulars. Hardly any of the old crowd came in any more. They had given up on her. Tifa felt her stomach burn as the sadness set in.
"Have it." Tifa poured it out and slid it over.
"Sour." Yuffie scrunched up her face. "What's eating you?"
"I think I'm going to try to give Simon the bar. I can't do it anymore Yuffie. It isn't any use to run a bar no one comes to. And I've run into the gang before and they just give me the same old excuses. They don't trust me anymore." Tifa poured herself a shot. She always made it a point never to have more than one drink at work if any, but tonight she felt like she wanted to forget a lot of things. This shot wasn't the first or the last of the evening.
"Go easy there. . . hey Simon! Fix up some fries for Tifa! I think she should eat somethin'!" There was rattling as Simon cut potatoes and messed with other kitchen utensils. "Are you sure about this? This bar has been everything to you for. . ."
"You don't need to remind me," Tifa interrupted as she downed another shot. "But we both know that in some ways that is the only way it would live on. You know that if it were just you and Simon that this place would be full every night like it used to be with people laughing and eating. If you guys can hold it together until summer, when the hotel opens, you'll get those customers too."
"Stop it, you're talkin like you already gave up!" Yuffie swung her nearly untouched drink wide and sloshed it onto the floor.
"Maybe I have." This time the shot didn't even cause her eyes to water. A fine mist was spreading across her senses, suddenly life felt a lot fuzzier and happier. Perhaps those fries would be a good idea, since she hadn't eaten since breakfast. "No one ever boycotted your business, my friend. Why. . . why did I ever have the unfortune of choooshing, er, I mean choosing my bar to be at the location that was the location Rufus wanted? Location. Why couldn't he have just died when he was supposed to, huh? Instead he stuck around just to make my life a sad drama of. . ." Even drunk she knew this was going too far.
Yuffie seemed very interested. "Oh no, do continue."
"Nevermind, we just had a fight a while ago." Lying was easier when she was drunk, or at least tipsy. She took another shot to push herself over that line. "No trouble in paradise!" Her giggle sounded off, even to her.
"I think I should take you home." Yuffie sounded concerned as she got up to go steady her friend who was wavering on her feet. "I don't think I've seen you this determined to get pissed since Cloud. . ." She cleared her throat at Tifa's look of hurt at the mention of that name. "Anyway, let's get you home."
"Home? I don't have a home anymore. Had to get rid of it." Tifa thought a moment. "Oh, yeah, *home*. I was thinking of, well, I don't know if I was thinking." She managed to take another shot while Yuffie told Simon what was up. He handed her the fries in a bag, which promptly looked like it had been dipped bottom first into the vat of fat itself as the grease soaked the paper.
Yuffie helped guide Tifa to the right door and also helped her slide her keycard through to open the locking mechanism. Rufus, who had been sitting on the couch and reading, regarded a somewhat soaked version of Tifa and Yuffie with mild interest. Rain pounded against the windows that overlooked the city as the spring announced its arrival.
"What happened?" Rufus noticed how Tifa seemed to be having a hard time standing up. Since she had never overindulged in his presence, he was having a difficult time processing the fact that she was drunk.
"You should ask her yourself, though I wouldn't bring up the bar until tomorrow if you have any compassion. She's goin' to need water and lots of it." Yuffie dropped the fries off on a white counter after dumping Tifa in a chair not too far away from Rufus.
"Good evening and thank you Miss Kisaragi." Yuffie made a face at being addressed so formally.
"I didn't do it for you, Mr. Nova." She walked to the door, waving. "You take good care of her now, or I'll bust your kneecaps. Night Tifa!"
Tifa seemed to be inspecting her wet hair very closely when Rufus turned to look at her. She had started crying on the way over but she had stopped a while ago and all that was left was a faint red puffiness. It was both adorable and pitiful as she tried to get up and failed a couple times. Finally, she seemed to notice he was in the room.
"Oh Rufus! Is it the seventh day already? I'm a mess, maybe we should eat in tonight. I'll just go change into something that isn't wet." She finally got herself out of the chair and made a zigzag path towards the bedroom. There was a crash, but there were other noises such as her cursing and some crinkling noises so Rufus simply waited for her to emerge since it was obvious she hadn't passed out. For the first time that night he found himself well and truly shocked as Tifa walked out of the bedroom clad in his black sleeveless turtleneck, his white coat, and a pair of panties but nothing else. She had even combed her hair.
"Where did you find that?" He sounded more tired than angry, since it would do no good to get mad at someone so clueless. Also, she managed to make it look rather sexy as the shirt had to stretch in interesting places to conform to her body.
"Oh I saw it a while ago. I always wanted to try it on. The coat is heavier than I thought it would be." Her eyes were dark and deep, swallowing up the room and him as well and her voice was thoughtful. "How did your clothes, or, I mean, how did you ever survive the blast? I'm married to a dead man. . ." This made her laugh.
She stumbled forward, nearly tripping on the coat that was too long for her and dragging on the ground. Tifa fell forward but he moved fast enough to catch her and she felt him take a deep breath. Rufus hesitated a moment and then wrapped his arms around her as he forced them both to sit on the couch.
"Maybe I'll tell you when you aren't drunk."
"Oh goody! And so nice this time too!" She clapped her hands and swung her legs up and onto his lap while she laid back. "I think you threatened me last time I asked." Tifa inspected the sleeves of the jacket, then the buttons. "You've been so nice to me the past couple months, it was almost enough to make me forget about all those threats at the beginning. You actually treat me like a person. Shocked the hell out of me."
"Obviously I don't treat you well enough, as you still remember the threats rather clearly."
Tifa sat up to rest on her elbows. "Well, it was a rather traumatic time for me. I mean, I think the worst part of it all was not even that I was getting married but that I wasn't going to marry for love. No kids. No happiness. But then I had given up a while ago on all that. This time it was just more official." She fell back again with a sigh.
Rufus rubbed one long leg, massaging the calf absently, while he asked in a low tone. "Why did you give up?"
"Cloud." Tifa's mercurial drunken tendencies forced tears to her eyes again. "I had always expected him to come back someday, to be honest. Marrying you. . . killed my dreams." His hands stopped. "But that's ok, life with you has been good. Surprisingly good. I hardly ever even think about Cloud anymore. You're making me forget. . . so many things. I'm losing so much since you appeared." Her bar resurfaced in her thoughts again. "All these old hurts. I just want to tear them out of me."
The silence that hung around them was punctuated by the increase in intensity of the wind and rain; you couldn't even see the city lights through the rain and dark anymore. It made them feel more enclosed than usual.
"I think it's only fair that I show you my scars too, since you were so kind to offer me yours." Rufus' voice was obscure, far away, and Tifa had to strain to hear it. She felt his body move, and when she finally pulled herself into a sitting position, he was already unbuttoning his white shirt, with the vest open and the tie discarded on the ground. His blond hair fell into his face as he looked down at the buttons. Rufus opened his shirt to her and Tifa found her breath being drawn in with a gasp.
Some jagged, some thin, all of them either white or pink and slightly puckered, his chest was covered with scars. Many of them looked like they had been rather nasty or life threatening, but either a very skillful doctor had gotten to him, or some deity had smiled down on him.
"Most of it was from glass and debris in the explosion. This," He pointed to one at his left shoulder. "was where a pipe was driven clean through my body. I remember fainting when I pulled it out. My back is similar, and there are a few on my legs. Plastic surgery took care of everything around my face, so I retain my handsome features." The bitterness in his voice was hard to miss even if Tifa was still drunk. "I refused to let them alter anything, though. Damn it, if I could survive something like that then there was no use hiding. This is all just borrowed time anyway."
"Rufus. . ." Tifa's pity party had been cut short by the great empathy she had for him. He must have been in terrible pain for a long time. Who knows what sort of condition he was in at the beginning of it all? Maybe the rescuers hadn't even known who he was at first. Now the tears that fell were no longer for herself. She bent close and ran a hand along his chest as he flinched but didn't stop her. Half remembered parental reassurances from long ago prompted her to lean in and softly kiss his abdomen and one of the nastier looking scars. At that he pulled her back.
"No. You're drunk. You don't know what you're doing." He only seemed to be vaguely talking to her. "I'll get you those fries and a glass of water." The pounding of rain continued to fill the silences they left.
"Rufus?" Tifa looked over the couch so that all he could see was her eyes from his view in the kitchen space. She looked innocent and perplexed at his sudden rejection.
"What?" He dumped the fries onto a plate and tried to wash the grease off of his hands.
"I'm sorry if I did something wrong."
He walked over and set the plate on her knees and the water on the glass table in front of her. "Just eat your fries, and don't spill on my coat. It was rather expensive to have it remade."
* * *
Tifa woke up feeling funny. More specifically, she woke up feeling like her eyes were trying to bore into her brain and her head was trying to explode out her ears to compensate. Now she remembered why she didn't get drunk. At least she was in the apartment and not on Yuffie's couch, which had a spring in it that always poked her back wrong whenever she had lain on it. That was how she had woken up the last time she did this. When she had just come to Jarta and didn't know what to do with herself. She had gotten drunk more than a few times back then.
Gingerly she minced her way to the bathroom and shed the black turtleneck she was inexplicably wearing as well as her underwear and climbed into the shower. When she walked out, robe clad and squinting at the world, she found Rufus sitting on the bed waiting for her.
"What are you doing here still?" She was cranky and didn't particularly want anyone seeing her like this. Vague recollections from last night were only starting to return to her. There was something she was mad at him about, she knew, and something else was important about him if she could grasp it. . .
"We need to talk, so I cancelled all my appointments until this afternoon." When he saw her make a shooing motion, he stood outside of the room and let her dress. "First of all last night was, hm, unacceptable."
"Listen," Tifa stuck her head out of the door to look him in the eyes. "You don't have to tell me that. I haven't gotten that sloshed in years and I don't plan on doing it any time soon again. Frankly, I don't know what came over me. What happened? Did I break anything?"
As she retreated to continue dressing, Rufus was silent as if choosing the subject to pursue. "I think that you made it very clear that you are troubled by both your bar and our," There was that disturbing pause again. "arrangement."
Tifa burst from the room in a flurry of wet hair and indignant gestures. "I'll just give it to you straight because I'm an honest person: of course I'm upset! My bar is about to fold and the only thing that I've invested time and love into for the last few years is about to disappear from my life. If your business suddenly folded wouldn't you be upset!" She clutched her head as the effort to yell had brought a surge of pain she couldn't ignore. Hangovers should be illegal.
"If you recall, it's something I'm well acquainted with, actually." It was said so evenly that Tifa almost didn't catch the fact that she was walking on dangerous ground.
"Oh, well, yes." With some of the steam behind her outburst stolen, she looked visibly deflated. "Then you know exactly how I feel." She sat down against a window and looked at the glistening wet city as it went about its morning business.
Rufus stood near her but maintained an acceptable distance not to be threatening. "I could give you money easily enough. If that's all you need. But that still doesn't address my other concern."
"I don't want your money. It was never about the money." Tifa was quiet. "And when it comes down to the. . .arrangement . . . in some ways, well, that is to say that. . ." She reflexively fisted her hands and released them. Tifa wanted to leave and exercise, or just do something to feel less twitchy and less pained. "It's not that bad. These days I almost believe that you could be a good person."
She was looking down at her hands, memorizing them, and didn't catch the gentle smile that softened his face and made him look less intimidating.
His voice wasn't gentle, however. "You have too much faith in people." Tifa's eyes burned with feeling as she got ready to defend the pure nature of her friends and the inherent nobility of most people, but Rufus simply caught her hands and pulled her up.
"Let's just get some breakfast; I'm hungry. I cancelled all my appointments to talk to you so, damn it, we're going to talk. Even if it's just you lecturing me all morning."
* * *
Yuffie offered the man a knife to look at. She was impatiently telling him about it's various features, hoping he'd either buy it or leave so that she could talk to Tifa, who had wandered in looking sheepish a couple minutes ago.
"Yeah, yeah, it's good for. . . stuff." She tapped her fingers against the counter, eyes open and aggressively staring at the man who was becoming increasingly nervous. "Look, you stick the sharp bit into things and yoink. I don't see why this is so difficult. You won't find a better one anywhere else, ok?"
"I'll, er, take it then." He handed the knife back with a cringe.
"Good man." She deposited the gil in a box under the counter and gave him the required smile (something Vincent had told her was expected of people in sales) and it was fierce enough to send him practically flying out of the shop. "Finally! Tifa, you ok? Last night you were in a pretty bad way."
"I know, I know. You didn't see all those shots I had before you came over to talk to me. I felt like someone pulled a death card on me." As it was everything still felt too light out despite the grey clouds covering everything.
"This mean the bar isn't opening today?" Yuffie seemed concerned.
Tifa looked down at her shoes, noticing how scuffed they were for the first time. "I'm not going to open it ever again. I just got the contracts to sign all the property over to Simon. I'll make a clean break of it and wish him well. He should be getting there soon to start preparing the food. I wanted to talk to you first though. There's a lot to say. In fact, I'll need to talk to Vincent too, at some point." She sat on the countertop. "I talked with Rufus this morning over breakfast."
"I left you with him last night. I didn't know what else to do, I mean, I always just tossed the drunks out like you told me to so I never knew what to do with em really. He didn't do anything to you did he?" Tifa wondered at how Yuffie always remained suspicious, even paranoid, of Rufus without failure.
Tifa felt somewhat happy to be able to finally unload some things, though, so even Yuffie's paranoia was cute to her. "He was a perfect gentleman. He always is. Or at least, the more I remember of last night, the more I respect him. This morning we had a talk.
"I told him that I was going to give up the bar, but I didn't want to be useless and he suggested I just start up a charity organization. I mean, I helped coordinate lots of things for AVALANCHE back in the day and now I could use those skills more constructively. Hopefully, I'll be doing a community out reach for the kids in the slums. You know, clean up areas and make parks and playgrounds instead of letting all those trash heaps take over. Maybe I'll tear down a condemned building or something to get some space."
Yuffie looked skeptical. "What's he getting out of this?"
"That's what's so amazing. He doesn't get anything! He isn't even going to use it as a tax write off. It will be entirely mine after he helps me set it up. I'll have total control, and maybe I can even get some of those snobby rich women to get in on it with me." Tifa grabbed her friend's shoulders and shook her a little. "I'll have purpose again, Yuffie!"
Despite herself Yuffie found herself starting to get excited about the project too. Tifa always had to be doing something to challenge herself, whether it was martial arts, or running a business and her enthusiasm was so addictively infectious. Now all that energy would be directed towards the people she cared about the most: the regular person struggling in the world.
"And I'm going to get on his case about finishing the Wall on the edge of the city as soon as the hotel takes off. I can do great things with my position now, no matter how much I hated it at the start!"
"What?" Yuffie latched on to the last statement. "I thought Rufus was what you wanted."
Tifa's enthusiasm dampened a bit. "That's the other thing I need to talk to you about. Rufus said I could tell you and Vincent since it was still troubling me to lie to you both. Only now it isn't a lie, exactly, anymore. It's confusing." The words came faster now that she was more nervous. "I think I may be starting to like him a little."
"Whoa there. Make sense. Start from the beginning."
The man who had bought the knife earlier walked in. "I didn't get a receipt, miss."
"Can't you see I'm busy!? Come back tomorrow!" The man scurried out of the door. "Now spill it, girl!"
Tifa twisted some of her long hair around her fingers. The story poured forth, with all of its twists and turns. The night at the bar when she helped the men, the visit from Rufus and the agreement she made while in jail, and the months of lying to everyone around them. Tifa ended with an apology and then waited as Yuffie went very pale and digested all the new information.
"So, let me get this straight. You married him because he threatened you, and you lied to us because you had to or else he was going to destroy a healthy portion of the city and possibly kill a lot of innocent people?" Tifa nodded. "But you think he's maybe changed a bit because he hasn't mentioned any threats since, he treats you nicely, and now he wants to help you?" She nodded again. "Are you crazy?!"
"What?"
"I can't believe you're grateful to him for letting you have the right not to lie to your closest friends when he took it away from you in the first place! Maybe he feels he doesn't need to mention the threats anymore! He's the one who is making you lose your bar! And you actually think he might have changed in the mere two plus months that you've lived together? In which you've barely talked, I might add, considering you live together. Do I need to go on, Vince?" Yuffie looked very red now, and she gasped a little from not breathing enough while she had yelled.
"You're not seeing the whole picture, I think. Besides, it's Tifa's choice to do what she wants." Vincent's calm voice came from the door at the front of the shop. Tifa hadn't even heard the bell ring to announce someone had entered. "I've been looking into his business practices since Tifa asked me all those months ago, and he's been keeping clean. Or at least as clean as most of the businessmen in town. None of the old tricks and cheats, which doesn't mean he isn't using new ones, but on the outside he's been honest enough. And except for that hotel fiasco, his projects have been benign. It's almost like he really isn't a Shinra any more."
Tifa was glad for further confirmation of something positive about Rufus. "No, he isn't a Shinra anymore. He said so himself, that Rufus Shinra was dead."
"I still think you're blinded by infatuation. He's a snake and you're going to get bit." Yuffie was sullen.
"I am *not* infatuated with him!" Tifa felt herself getting flustered. "I am still being careful. It just seems that if he wanted to really be cruel to me, he had a lot of opportunity that he never capitalized on and instead he's gone out of his way to be nice to me in some ways. I've got resources to fall back on if he double crosses me, and hopefully I have friends I can rely on as well." Tifa tried to catch Yuffie's eye as the other girl crossed her arms and stared into space.
Vincent swept over and put his hand on Tifa's shoulder. "Of course I'll always support you, and so will Yuffie once she calms down. You always had faith in us, and I will never forget it. If Rufus makes you happy, even if you're still working out some issues, then I will do nothing to oppose it. Your heart is too kind, and I worry that he wants to use you, but I think you're right in that he could have done much worse to you. Just be on your guard. I agree with Yuffie to some extent, in that I don't think he could ever really change." His gaze would always look a little dead and Tifa wondered about those vampire rumors. "For you I'll suspend my disbelief."
Tifa gave Vincent a smile, the soft heart of hers he referred to overflowing with love and relief to finally be able to represent herself truthfully. Throwing aside misgivings, she gave him a tight hug. He gave a little gasp and mentioned that if nothing else she could always come work here what with her fighting skills and nearly inhuman strength. Even Yuffie softened a little and said she would help with the charity when Tifa got it going and even lend a hand to Simon until he found someone to replace her.
When Tifa handed the papers to Simon not too much later he seemed surprised and somewhat dismayed. As always, he remained a man of few words and took the forms with only one question on his lips: why?
She explained as best as she could, without going into any detail about the private life she and Rufus shared, wrapping it up with "The time has come for it, I think. I'm starting out new again, Simon. This bar was an escape as much as it was something I cared about. Now I think I might be able to construct something just a good, maybe even better, and actually help people instead of numbing them with alcohol."
"Come back tomorrow." He looked worried. "Goodbye party."
"It isn't necessary, you know."
"I want to." He seemed even more agitated, in a very unusual way for Simon. "Come."
Tifa laughed off her apprehension and remorse, and nodded. "Ok. Tomorrow at opening I'll come by and we can have a party. I'll tell Yuffie. Oh yes, and she'll make drinks tonight, though I don't suppose hardly anyone will come, like always. Don't worry, once everyone knows it's your place they'll start coming back. We're the best bar in town!" Tifa took the contracts, newly signed, and headed out the door. She would have a long day with the lawyers telling them exactly what sort of charity she was setting up and how it would be run, as well as getting them to file this paperwork.
After she left, Simon got up and slowly made his awkward way to the phone. The number he dialed wasn't local, and he knew it was unwise to call on this phone but someone had to be notified. "We have to move it up. She's leaving tomorrow." The person at the other end was quiet a moment and then a stream of orders issued forth.
"Yes, sir." Simon said. "I'll make the arrangements. Mrs. Nova will be in our custody tomorrow. He'll have to listen to us then. . ."
* * *
(((AN: Ok, so those of you who think her mind changed too fast about Rufus, keep in mind about all that changed was her firm conviction that he would always be a villain. I figured after two months of being treated in a polite and differential manner in private and a doting manner in public would eventually wear down if not confuse someone like Tifa. I mean, someone who is willing to follow a childhood friend across a world just based on a little love and a general feeling of duty is probably the sort who would be swayed by that brand of kindness. Considering her abandonment issues at that point, she is pretty vulnerable. So you see, it isn't a radical character change! I have been thinking about motivation!)))