Santa Baby Chapter 1
Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2003 1:14 am
<b><u><center><font=+1>Santa Baby</b></u></font>
By the Black Rose</center>
AN: Merry Christmas to you. Merry Christmas to you. I tortured Heero and Duo. For a Christmas gift to you. Thanks for reading!!! Love, Rose
Warnings: Santa abuse. Christmas traditions.
Chapter 1
A chill had settled into the mansion. An undeniable emptiness. But it wasn't the winter that brought it. Relena stepped into the foyer, while still buttoning her coat.
"Your car is waiting, Madame."
She frowned at the old gentleman. "Pagan, please. How many times have I asked you not to call me that?"
"But, Miss Relena. You're an adult, now. It only seems right."
"Well, it doesn't seem right to me. So, please, call me Relena." She went back to fastening the belt around her jacket.
"Miss Relena, your car is still waiting."
She sighed. "Yes, Pagan. I know." She stopped fiddling with her belt and felt her shoulders sag. "I feel terrible for leaving you behind on the holidays, but space travel...."
"You don't have to worry for me, Miss Relena. Just have a nice Christmas on the colony, and take care of yourself."
She managed a small smile - for his sake. "I'll try. You take care, too."
He bowed at the waist. "Of course."
The driver entered, rubbing his hands together at a furious pace, and blowing hot air against them. "Ya all ready ta go?"
She nodded. The driver grinned and picked up her bag, hauling it out the front door. He packed it away in the trunk while she let herself into the back of the car. Relena settled in for the short ride to the shuttle port.
Her hand came up to rest on the window where she could see Pagan standing in the doorway. It didn't seem right to leave the man who was like a grandfather behind during Christmas. But duty called, and she always had to answer?.
<i> "I'm sorry, Heero. I?have a dinner meeting." She hated having to lie to him. But she just couldn't tell him, yet. If at all.
He merely nodded. No hint of an expression on his face. But something had flickered in his eyes. Or maybe it was her imagination.
"Duty calls, then."
His voice sounded strange. Strangled. A slight frown formed above his eyes. Why? Why did he look like?
"Yes." She had to glance away. "Always does." </i>
It wasn't long after, that Heero had left. But she still didn't understand?
What did she do to make him walk away?
* * * * * *
The carolers had kept him awake far longer than he intended. Or maybe it was his memories of her? Either way, it was six in the morning, and there was no coffee strong enough to make him capable of tolerating his partner's yelling. And pacing.
Heero scowled and poured himself another mug. He'd almost drained his coffee pot. If Duo didn't get off his phone, soon, the former Zero pilot would be forced to go for reserves in the community break room down the hall. But whomever usually brewed that stuff made sludge. Heero had to be a desperate man indeed to resort to it.
"Wait a minute, Wufei. What do you mean, it's our only chance? How am I supposed to pull this off?" Duo shouted into the phone while carving trenches into the tile floor of Heero's office with his shoes.
"Think of something? Think of something?" He bent over to roar into the receiver. "I'm not the brains of this operation, you know."
Heero snorted and took another large swig of his black coffee.
"Yes, I know you know." His partner's face tightened into a frown. "Ha. Ha. Yeah, real funny. Don't quit your day job." Duo shot straight up. "Wufei!"
The man with the braid whirled around. "He hung up!" He shook the phone in Heero's direction.
The rather disgruntled Preventer shrugged. He squinted at the monitor on his laptop, the light coming in that window he didn't want open made it tough to see certain areas of his report.
"Heero, do you know what that, that?anal retentive, justice-touting, pain in my ass just told me?"
A smile tugged at his lips and lost. "You mean Wufei?"
"Yes! That-that--"
Heero closed his eyes and sighed. "Stop grousing and tell me what he said."
Duo flopped down in a chair opposite the desk. "He said that we have to meet with an informant tomorrow."
"Hn." Finally. The caffeine was kicking it. He tapped a few keys to fill in holes in the report.
"Not just ANY informant. We have to meet with the one on the Scholtzberg case."
Heero whirled around in his chair. "There's been a crack in the Scholtzberg case? They got an informant?"
Duo slumped onto the desk. "You haven't heard the worst of it."
"Maxwell. Senator Scholtzberg is on the Colony defense committee. If he's been accepting bribes--"
"We have to meet the informant tomorrow." He shook his head against the arm lying flat on the desktop. "At a department store. In the middle of the day."
"Preventer needs that information. We'll go no matter what the risk." Heero crossed his arms and glared down at his friend.
Duo propped his head up on his hand. "I'm glad you said that, buddy. I'll be reminding you of that tomorrow."
<b>Twenty-seven hours and fifty minutes later?.</b>
Heero held his breath and counted to ten. "Tell me again how I let you talk me into this?"
He glowered at his green clad partner who looked?ridiculous didn't quite cover it. His long braid was stuffed into a cone-shaped green, fuzzy hat, pulled down low over his forehead. He had two pointy, plastic ears attached via a piece of elastic hidden by the hat. Two red blotches of rouge stained his cheeks. But that wasn't the worst part. Heero couldn't decide if the curly-toed shoes or the tights were more humiliating for his friend.
"Hey. You were the one who said this was so important, the risk didn't matter." Duo shrugged his elven shoulders.
Heero rested his arms on his protruding stomach. "I have a gun, Maxwell. I was talking about bringing a gun."
"Well, you'd better not shoot the elf in front of all those children, Santa, or Preventer will be paying their therapy bills until they're thirty."
The former Zero pilot grit his teeth behind the false white beard and mustache combination currently scratching the hell out of his chin. "Just tell me one thing. Was this your idea or Wufei's?"
"The informant is going to bring his or her child to visit Santa. They're going to give the elf, me, a Christmas list. The child will sit on your lap, tell you what they want, like you're the regular, jolly old St. Nick, and then they'll go along their merry way. The Christmas list they give me is supposed to have the coded information we asked for."
"When?"
"Sometime today. Santa's hours are from ten am to six pm. You do, however, get an hour for lunch."
"So, I have to sit here and play Santa Claus all day."
"Hey, we're lucky we got the department store to go along with this. Their Santa is a professional impersonator. Famous people take their children here, and do all sorts of charity and publicity things. This isn't some rinky dink operation, you know."
"So, you're saying this is Wufei's fault."
"More or less."
"Remind me to kill him the next time I go to Earth."
"Fat chance." Duo paused, looked his partner up and down and burst out into giggles. "Ah ha ha ha ha ha! I said fat chance! And with you wearing a Santa suit."
Heero grimaced, then turned to take a last look in the mirror - to make sure his costume was on straight, and nothing appeared out of place. He almost didn't recognize himself. The fuzzy red hat ended with sewn-in white curls that covered his forehead, and draped down the back of his neck. He had to wear padding under the red coat, which he could already tell was trapping his body heat, and would make him uncomfortably warm throughout the day. His matching, red pants ended in a pair of black patent leather boots. He looked like? An overstuffed, over grown elf with an attitude problem.
"I'm Santa Claus." Heero sighed.
"You can't forget these!" The equally as pathetic looking elf chirped beside him. He pivoted to receive the outstretched round-lens glasses to apparently complete the costume. His eyes were the only recognizable trait left. He donned the frames and stomped out of the dressing room towards "Santa's Enchanted Cave". It was ten o'clock exactly.
* * * * * *
Heero arrived out in front of Santa's?throne, to adults pointing and whispering to their children: "Look, it's Santa!"
The line wasn't too long, probably fifteen or sixteen separate kids waited their turns with their parents. Some were toddlers and babies, others probably as old as nine or ten. It was, thankfully, a weekday, though less than a week before Christmas. He figured it wouldn't be too bad during the morning, but once parents got off work?
Duo brought the first child up and hefted him into Heero's lap. Santa blinked at the little boy on his knee while the mother handed the elf a written Christmas list.
"Aren't you going to say Ho Ho Ho?" The kid's voice whined.
Heero stared at the boy and held him in place at the farthest edge of his lap.
"Say cheese!" The photographer called out and snapped a picture of Santa and child.
"You're supposed to say Ho Ho Ho." The boy's tone sounded like nails across a chalkboard.
Heero tried to stop himself from snarling at the little know-it-all. "Ho. Ho?.Ho."
The child wrinkled his nose. "You're not s'pposed to say it like that. It's s'pposed to be jolly. Like a laugh."
"Just tell me what you want for Christmas."
The boy crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip. "Don you need to ask my name, first?"
Heero shut his eyes and counted to five. "Fine. Tell me your name."
"Christopher."
"Okay, now what do you want for Christmas?"
"I didn't tell you my last name. There's three Christophers in my class at school. Can you imagine how many there are in just this one colony?"
This time he couldn't stop from snarling. "I thought it would be on your Christmas list your mom gave my?helper." He reigned in his temper. "But fine, give me your last name."
"Christopher Donnally."
"Okay. Now. Christopher Donally. What do you want for Christmas?"
"I want a Death base model and a Space Wars action figure! A bb gun and a live toad, so I can put it in my older sister's bed."
Heero raised an eyebrow. It felt weird with the fake ones glued to his face.
"I want a legoland mobile suit factory kit and all the toys I saw on TV this week. Hot wheels star racer, and--"
"I think that's more than enough." Duo cut in and started to pick the boy out of Heero's lap.
"Whoa whoa whoa, wait." He waved the elf away. "I thought only good boys and girls got presents from Santa."
"I'm good." Christopher's voice went up an octave. Heero winced.
"I help my mom set the table, and I cleaned my room yesterday. Even if I din want to."
"Why do you want a toad to put in your older sister's bed?"
"She picks on me!"
"Gotta go. Lots of kids want to visit Santa." Duo tried again to 'rescue' the little boy in Heero's lap.
"That's not an excuse. If you want a present from Santa, you have to be good. Even to your older sister. Especially to your older sister."
The little boy appeared stricken.
Duo finally snagged Christopher and set him down on his feet.
"I don't have to be nice to her! She's not nice to me first!"
"If you want a present, you'll be nice to her and your mother."
"I hate you!" The kid reared back and delivered a kick to Heero's shin.
Christopher's mom gasped. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over him." She grabbed her son's hand and pulled him several feet away. "Christopher, you do not kick Santa Claus, do you understand me?"
"He's mean! He said I wouldn't get any presents!"
"I said you had to be nice to get them." He wanted to reach down and rub the spot on his shin, but wouldn't give the little brat the satisfaction. Besides, it more surprised Heero than injured him.
"Come along Christopher. And you'd better behave or you're getting a spanking when we get home."
The kid twisted at the end of his mom's arm as she tried to drag him away. "No, mom! I don wanna!"
Heero turned away from the sight to come face to face with the annoying elf. Duo had his arms crossed over his chest and was trying to glare down Santa Claus. He tapped his curly toed shoe against the tile floor. There was no way Maxwell looked anything close to menacing in that outfit. "Try not to scare the children."
"I didn't scare him. I told him the rules."
"Just ask them what they want for Christmas and then go on to the next child. We don't have time for you to lecture each six year old that comes through here on the finer points of being nice to a sibling."
Heero scowled. But somehow he figured his painted rosy cheeks didn't convey his irritation well, either. He settled for motioning the next kid over to sit on Santa's lap.
* * * * * *
It took two hours to get through the original line. At noon, Santa and Elf shuffled through the Christmas lists in search of the coded info. Nothing.
"Dammit. When is the damned informant going to get here."
"It doesn't matter when he or she arrives. We have to play Santa and his helper all day. Your shift ends at six whether the informer arrives at noon or five fifty-nine."
"My head just started pounding when you said that."
"Sorry, pal. I'll buy you a beer as soon as we're done. Or seven."
"Hn." Heero tried and failed to cross his arms. He had to settle for resting his hands on his belly. It was disconcerting.
"I dunno, Heero. Kids just aren't the same as they used to be. Or maybe it's just that we're at this high-dollar mall. But ya know, when I was a kid, I didn't need all these material things. I didn't have a real family, but the family I did have? When I asked God or even Santa for things, I didn't ask for myself. I asked for stuff for Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. The other orphans in Maxwell Church that weren't as lucky as me."
Heero took a deep breath and watched his stomach rise and fall with the movement. It was odd. He flicked his wrist and checked his watch. Sadly, it wasn't six, yet. The line was still empty, so he was 'free' to listen to Maxwell's rambling.
Duo sat down on top of one of the candy canes. "If I did ask for something for myself, it was clothes or shoes. Maybe food. Not these crappy pieces of plastic someone fashioned into a model of a weapon. What's wrong with these people? Don't they know the true spirit of Christmas?"
"You done?"
"Yeah. Sorry. I know I sound like an old geezer whining about the latest generation of young little whipper snappers or something." The elf rested his chin on top of his palm; his arm was propped on his knee - just above those ridiculous shoes.
Heero shook his head. "These kids are brats. But that doesn't mean that everyone with or without money is like these children or their parents."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
A pair of women toting three kids a piece entered the line. The toddler, Timmy, decided Santa was his new litter box, prompting the comment from Duo: "Oh hell, I wonder if urine stains."
Apparently, the red, fuzzy coat and nice-guy beard wasn't enough to keep the former Gundam pilot from scaring little Bethany, the four year old who screamed at the top of her lungs as soon as Heero tried to pick her up. He swore his ears were going to ring the rest of the day.
Madison and Mackenzie, the twins, wanted the latest 'Holiday Glitz Barbie', her mansion, her car, her jetliner, her yacht, and her private island resort. Complete with paid servants. Hunter and Regan, the two boys aged five and eight, wanted army men and assorted small to medium range weapons.
Heero sighed. Mankind had been at peace for four years, now, and children either were still playing war games, or had never been taught otherwise.
He laughed as an image of an eight year old Relena came to mind - talking to her brother's army men, trying to get them to lay down their weapons.
It was a memory that didn't happen, of course, just something he could envision. 'Only her?.'
The latest hellions moved on, leaving behind a Santa that was a little more frazzled, a lot more damp, and infinitely more ready for the day to be over - and he was smelly. It was barely one o'clock. But at least it was time for lunch.
Santa and Elf gladly escaped for their hour-long break. The manager brought them a sandwich and coke in the grove behind Santa's Enchanted Cave. Heero pulled the beard down to his neck in order to eat.
"You have gotten your information, yes?" The manager, a man with black, greasy hair and a pencil thin neck asked with his hands flat together like he was praying.
"No," Heero said around bites of his sandwich.
"Oh, I see." The man dropped his hands.
"Why?"
"Oh, I?It is nothing."
"Spill it." Heero took another bite and glared at the man.
"I was just hoping that we could have our regular Santa return for the afternoon." He brought his hands up like he was trying to hold Heero back. "Not that you are not a wonderful Santa, just?"
"You agreed to the terms Preventer set down. And the payment." Duo popped the last bite of sandwich into his mouth and took a swig of his coke.
The manager bowed his head and his shoulders sagged. "I know. And if you must stay all day, then you must."
"Why? What's going on this--?"
"We need a manager to lingerie. Manager to lingerie." A nasal-sounding woman's voice called over the loud speaker.
The man instantly perked up. He threw them a weird grin and wave and started off at a quick gait.
"Hey! You didn't answer our question."
"Sorry little elf. But lingerie calls, yes? Ta!" And the pencil necked manager was gone.
Heero glared at the man's retreat. "This isn't good."
Duo sighed and slumped in his seat. "I thought this morning was bad enough. I don't want to go back out there."
Santa wiped his mouth and pulled the white beard back over his features. "Come on. We've faced down mobile dolls and Oz soldiers. No two year old named Timmy is going to keep me from doing my job."
Duo rolled his eyes. "Words to live by."
Heero stood up and straightened his belly, belt, and pants. "Shut up. And you owe me seven beers when all this is over." He started stomping off in the direction of the enchanted cave.
The elf's voice called after him: "That's just not right coming from Santa Claus."
By the Black Rose</center>
AN: Merry Christmas to you. Merry Christmas to you. I tortured Heero and Duo. For a Christmas gift to you. Thanks for reading!!! Love, Rose
Warnings: Santa abuse. Christmas traditions.
Chapter 1
A chill had settled into the mansion. An undeniable emptiness. But it wasn't the winter that brought it. Relena stepped into the foyer, while still buttoning her coat.
"Your car is waiting, Madame."
She frowned at the old gentleman. "Pagan, please. How many times have I asked you not to call me that?"
"But, Miss Relena. You're an adult, now. It only seems right."
"Well, it doesn't seem right to me. So, please, call me Relena." She went back to fastening the belt around her jacket.
"Miss Relena, your car is still waiting."
She sighed. "Yes, Pagan. I know." She stopped fiddling with her belt and felt her shoulders sag. "I feel terrible for leaving you behind on the holidays, but space travel...."
"You don't have to worry for me, Miss Relena. Just have a nice Christmas on the colony, and take care of yourself."
She managed a small smile - for his sake. "I'll try. You take care, too."
He bowed at the waist. "Of course."
The driver entered, rubbing his hands together at a furious pace, and blowing hot air against them. "Ya all ready ta go?"
She nodded. The driver grinned and picked up her bag, hauling it out the front door. He packed it away in the trunk while she let herself into the back of the car. Relena settled in for the short ride to the shuttle port.
Her hand came up to rest on the window where she could see Pagan standing in the doorway. It didn't seem right to leave the man who was like a grandfather behind during Christmas. But duty called, and she always had to answer?.
<i> "I'm sorry, Heero. I?have a dinner meeting." She hated having to lie to him. But she just couldn't tell him, yet. If at all.
He merely nodded. No hint of an expression on his face. But something had flickered in his eyes. Or maybe it was her imagination.
"Duty calls, then."
His voice sounded strange. Strangled. A slight frown formed above his eyes. Why? Why did he look like?
"Yes." She had to glance away. "Always does." </i>
It wasn't long after, that Heero had left. But she still didn't understand?
What did she do to make him walk away?
* * * * * *
The carolers had kept him awake far longer than he intended. Or maybe it was his memories of her? Either way, it was six in the morning, and there was no coffee strong enough to make him capable of tolerating his partner's yelling. And pacing.
Heero scowled and poured himself another mug. He'd almost drained his coffee pot. If Duo didn't get off his phone, soon, the former Zero pilot would be forced to go for reserves in the community break room down the hall. But whomever usually brewed that stuff made sludge. Heero had to be a desperate man indeed to resort to it.
"Wait a minute, Wufei. What do you mean, it's our only chance? How am I supposed to pull this off?" Duo shouted into the phone while carving trenches into the tile floor of Heero's office with his shoes.
"Think of something? Think of something?" He bent over to roar into the receiver. "I'm not the brains of this operation, you know."
Heero snorted and took another large swig of his black coffee.
"Yes, I know you know." His partner's face tightened into a frown. "Ha. Ha. Yeah, real funny. Don't quit your day job." Duo shot straight up. "Wufei!"
The man with the braid whirled around. "He hung up!" He shook the phone in Heero's direction.
The rather disgruntled Preventer shrugged. He squinted at the monitor on his laptop, the light coming in that window he didn't want open made it tough to see certain areas of his report.
"Heero, do you know what that, that?anal retentive, justice-touting, pain in my ass just told me?"
A smile tugged at his lips and lost. "You mean Wufei?"
"Yes! That-that--"
Heero closed his eyes and sighed. "Stop grousing and tell me what he said."
Duo flopped down in a chair opposite the desk. "He said that we have to meet with an informant tomorrow."
"Hn." Finally. The caffeine was kicking it. He tapped a few keys to fill in holes in the report.
"Not just ANY informant. We have to meet with the one on the Scholtzberg case."
Heero whirled around in his chair. "There's been a crack in the Scholtzberg case? They got an informant?"
Duo slumped onto the desk. "You haven't heard the worst of it."
"Maxwell. Senator Scholtzberg is on the Colony defense committee. If he's been accepting bribes--"
"We have to meet the informant tomorrow." He shook his head against the arm lying flat on the desktop. "At a department store. In the middle of the day."
"Preventer needs that information. We'll go no matter what the risk." Heero crossed his arms and glared down at his friend.
Duo propped his head up on his hand. "I'm glad you said that, buddy. I'll be reminding you of that tomorrow."
<b>Twenty-seven hours and fifty minutes later?.</b>
Heero held his breath and counted to ten. "Tell me again how I let you talk me into this?"
He glowered at his green clad partner who looked?ridiculous didn't quite cover it. His long braid was stuffed into a cone-shaped green, fuzzy hat, pulled down low over his forehead. He had two pointy, plastic ears attached via a piece of elastic hidden by the hat. Two red blotches of rouge stained his cheeks. But that wasn't the worst part. Heero couldn't decide if the curly-toed shoes or the tights were more humiliating for his friend.
"Hey. You were the one who said this was so important, the risk didn't matter." Duo shrugged his elven shoulders.
Heero rested his arms on his protruding stomach. "I have a gun, Maxwell. I was talking about bringing a gun."
"Well, you'd better not shoot the elf in front of all those children, Santa, or Preventer will be paying their therapy bills until they're thirty."
The former Zero pilot grit his teeth behind the false white beard and mustache combination currently scratching the hell out of his chin. "Just tell me one thing. Was this your idea or Wufei's?"
"The informant is going to bring his or her child to visit Santa. They're going to give the elf, me, a Christmas list. The child will sit on your lap, tell you what they want, like you're the regular, jolly old St. Nick, and then they'll go along their merry way. The Christmas list they give me is supposed to have the coded information we asked for."
"When?"
"Sometime today. Santa's hours are from ten am to six pm. You do, however, get an hour for lunch."
"So, I have to sit here and play Santa Claus all day."
"Hey, we're lucky we got the department store to go along with this. Their Santa is a professional impersonator. Famous people take their children here, and do all sorts of charity and publicity things. This isn't some rinky dink operation, you know."
"So, you're saying this is Wufei's fault."
"More or less."
"Remind me to kill him the next time I go to Earth."
"Fat chance." Duo paused, looked his partner up and down and burst out into giggles. "Ah ha ha ha ha ha! I said fat chance! And with you wearing a Santa suit."
Heero grimaced, then turned to take a last look in the mirror - to make sure his costume was on straight, and nothing appeared out of place. He almost didn't recognize himself. The fuzzy red hat ended with sewn-in white curls that covered his forehead, and draped down the back of his neck. He had to wear padding under the red coat, which he could already tell was trapping his body heat, and would make him uncomfortably warm throughout the day. His matching, red pants ended in a pair of black patent leather boots. He looked like? An overstuffed, over grown elf with an attitude problem.
"I'm Santa Claus." Heero sighed.
"You can't forget these!" The equally as pathetic looking elf chirped beside him. He pivoted to receive the outstretched round-lens glasses to apparently complete the costume. His eyes were the only recognizable trait left. He donned the frames and stomped out of the dressing room towards "Santa's Enchanted Cave". It was ten o'clock exactly.
* * * * * *
Heero arrived out in front of Santa's?throne, to adults pointing and whispering to their children: "Look, it's Santa!"
The line wasn't too long, probably fifteen or sixteen separate kids waited their turns with their parents. Some were toddlers and babies, others probably as old as nine or ten. It was, thankfully, a weekday, though less than a week before Christmas. He figured it wouldn't be too bad during the morning, but once parents got off work?
Duo brought the first child up and hefted him into Heero's lap. Santa blinked at the little boy on his knee while the mother handed the elf a written Christmas list.
"Aren't you going to say Ho Ho Ho?" The kid's voice whined.
Heero stared at the boy and held him in place at the farthest edge of his lap.
"Say cheese!" The photographer called out and snapped a picture of Santa and child.
"You're supposed to say Ho Ho Ho." The boy's tone sounded like nails across a chalkboard.
Heero tried to stop himself from snarling at the little know-it-all. "Ho. Ho?.Ho."
The child wrinkled his nose. "You're not s'pposed to say it like that. It's s'pposed to be jolly. Like a laugh."
"Just tell me what you want for Christmas."
The boy crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip. "Don you need to ask my name, first?"
Heero shut his eyes and counted to five. "Fine. Tell me your name."
"Christopher."
"Okay, now what do you want for Christmas?"
"I didn't tell you my last name. There's three Christophers in my class at school. Can you imagine how many there are in just this one colony?"
This time he couldn't stop from snarling. "I thought it would be on your Christmas list your mom gave my?helper." He reigned in his temper. "But fine, give me your last name."
"Christopher Donnally."
"Okay. Now. Christopher Donally. What do you want for Christmas?"
"I want a Death base model and a Space Wars action figure! A bb gun and a live toad, so I can put it in my older sister's bed."
Heero raised an eyebrow. It felt weird with the fake ones glued to his face.
"I want a legoland mobile suit factory kit and all the toys I saw on TV this week. Hot wheels star racer, and--"
"I think that's more than enough." Duo cut in and started to pick the boy out of Heero's lap.
"Whoa whoa whoa, wait." He waved the elf away. "I thought only good boys and girls got presents from Santa."
"I'm good." Christopher's voice went up an octave. Heero winced.
"I help my mom set the table, and I cleaned my room yesterday. Even if I din want to."
"Why do you want a toad to put in your older sister's bed?"
"She picks on me!"
"Gotta go. Lots of kids want to visit Santa." Duo tried again to 'rescue' the little boy in Heero's lap.
"That's not an excuse. If you want a present from Santa, you have to be good. Even to your older sister. Especially to your older sister."
The little boy appeared stricken.
Duo finally snagged Christopher and set him down on his feet.
"I don't have to be nice to her! She's not nice to me first!"
"If you want a present, you'll be nice to her and your mother."
"I hate you!" The kid reared back and delivered a kick to Heero's shin.
Christopher's mom gasped. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over him." She grabbed her son's hand and pulled him several feet away. "Christopher, you do not kick Santa Claus, do you understand me?"
"He's mean! He said I wouldn't get any presents!"
"I said you had to be nice to get them." He wanted to reach down and rub the spot on his shin, but wouldn't give the little brat the satisfaction. Besides, it more surprised Heero than injured him.
"Come along Christopher. And you'd better behave or you're getting a spanking when we get home."
The kid twisted at the end of his mom's arm as she tried to drag him away. "No, mom! I don wanna!"
Heero turned away from the sight to come face to face with the annoying elf. Duo had his arms crossed over his chest and was trying to glare down Santa Claus. He tapped his curly toed shoe against the tile floor. There was no way Maxwell looked anything close to menacing in that outfit. "Try not to scare the children."
"I didn't scare him. I told him the rules."
"Just ask them what they want for Christmas and then go on to the next child. We don't have time for you to lecture each six year old that comes through here on the finer points of being nice to a sibling."
Heero scowled. But somehow he figured his painted rosy cheeks didn't convey his irritation well, either. He settled for motioning the next kid over to sit on Santa's lap.
* * * * * *
It took two hours to get through the original line. At noon, Santa and Elf shuffled through the Christmas lists in search of the coded info. Nothing.
"Dammit. When is the damned informant going to get here."
"It doesn't matter when he or she arrives. We have to play Santa and his helper all day. Your shift ends at six whether the informer arrives at noon or five fifty-nine."
"My head just started pounding when you said that."
"Sorry, pal. I'll buy you a beer as soon as we're done. Or seven."
"Hn." Heero tried and failed to cross his arms. He had to settle for resting his hands on his belly. It was disconcerting.
"I dunno, Heero. Kids just aren't the same as they used to be. Or maybe it's just that we're at this high-dollar mall. But ya know, when I was a kid, I didn't need all these material things. I didn't have a real family, but the family I did have? When I asked God or even Santa for things, I didn't ask for myself. I asked for stuff for Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. The other orphans in Maxwell Church that weren't as lucky as me."
Heero took a deep breath and watched his stomach rise and fall with the movement. It was odd. He flicked his wrist and checked his watch. Sadly, it wasn't six, yet. The line was still empty, so he was 'free' to listen to Maxwell's rambling.
Duo sat down on top of one of the candy canes. "If I did ask for something for myself, it was clothes or shoes. Maybe food. Not these crappy pieces of plastic someone fashioned into a model of a weapon. What's wrong with these people? Don't they know the true spirit of Christmas?"
"You done?"
"Yeah. Sorry. I know I sound like an old geezer whining about the latest generation of young little whipper snappers or something." The elf rested his chin on top of his palm; his arm was propped on his knee - just above those ridiculous shoes.
Heero shook his head. "These kids are brats. But that doesn't mean that everyone with or without money is like these children or their parents."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
A pair of women toting three kids a piece entered the line. The toddler, Timmy, decided Santa was his new litter box, prompting the comment from Duo: "Oh hell, I wonder if urine stains."
Apparently, the red, fuzzy coat and nice-guy beard wasn't enough to keep the former Gundam pilot from scaring little Bethany, the four year old who screamed at the top of her lungs as soon as Heero tried to pick her up. He swore his ears were going to ring the rest of the day.
Madison and Mackenzie, the twins, wanted the latest 'Holiday Glitz Barbie', her mansion, her car, her jetliner, her yacht, and her private island resort. Complete with paid servants. Hunter and Regan, the two boys aged five and eight, wanted army men and assorted small to medium range weapons.
Heero sighed. Mankind had been at peace for four years, now, and children either were still playing war games, or had never been taught otherwise.
He laughed as an image of an eight year old Relena came to mind - talking to her brother's army men, trying to get them to lay down their weapons.
It was a memory that didn't happen, of course, just something he could envision. 'Only her?.'
The latest hellions moved on, leaving behind a Santa that was a little more frazzled, a lot more damp, and infinitely more ready for the day to be over - and he was smelly. It was barely one o'clock. But at least it was time for lunch.
Santa and Elf gladly escaped for their hour-long break. The manager brought them a sandwich and coke in the grove behind Santa's Enchanted Cave. Heero pulled the beard down to his neck in order to eat.
"You have gotten your information, yes?" The manager, a man with black, greasy hair and a pencil thin neck asked with his hands flat together like he was praying.
"No," Heero said around bites of his sandwich.
"Oh, I see." The man dropped his hands.
"Why?"
"Oh, I?It is nothing."
"Spill it." Heero took another bite and glared at the man.
"I was just hoping that we could have our regular Santa return for the afternoon." He brought his hands up like he was trying to hold Heero back. "Not that you are not a wonderful Santa, just?"
"You agreed to the terms Preventer set down. And the payment." Duo popped the last bite of sandwich into his mouth and took a swig of his coke.
The manager bowed his head and his shoulders sagged. "I know. And if you must stay all day, then you must."
"Why? What's going on this--?"
"We need a manager to lingerie. Manager to lingerie." A nasal-sounding woman's voice called over the loud speaker.
The man instantly perked up. He threw them a weird grin and wave and started off at a quick gait.
"Hey! You didn't answer our question."
"Sorry little elf. But lingerie calls, yes? Ta!" And the pencil necked manager was gone.
Heero glared at the man's retreat. "This isn't good."
Duo sighed and slumped in his seat. "I thought this morning was bad enough. I don't want to go back out there."
Santa wiped his mouth and pulled the white beard back over his features. "Come on. We've faced down mobile dolls and Oz soldiers. No two year old named Timmy is going to keep me from doing my job."
Duo rolled his eyes. "Words to live by."
Heero stood up and straightened his belly, belt, and pants. "Shut up. And you owe me seven beers when all this is over." He started stomping off in the direction of the enchanted cave.
The elf's voice called after him: "That's just not right coming from Santa Claus."
The picture of Heero as Santa is great! Lovely!