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The Storm

Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2003 2:42 pm
by dark-angel
My friend and I co-own Gin, but none of the others. We just wish we did!!!!

Kagome screamed when the huge clap of thunder sounded through the land. Inuyasha jumped from hearing Kagome scream and so did everyone else. “Kagome calm down!” Inuyasha shouted. “I…I’m sorry everyone I just really don’t like storms. I never have,” Kagome whispered. “It’s ok. We all have our fears,” Miroku said sympathetically. “Yeah Kagome,” Shippo piped in, ”it’s ok.”
Kagome felt more at ease when Inuyasha pulled her onto his lap and in his arms. Sango, Shippo, and Miroku had seen a lot of this lately so they weren’t surprised, or at least not as surprised as when he first started holding her. Everyone was a couple now: Inuyasha and Kagome; Miroku and Sango; Koga and Gin; Sesshomaru and Rin, everyone but Shippo and Sota. Kaedae got with Grampa and Kagome’s mom remarried to a kind man named Sora. Shippo doesn’t really care and Sota’s going in and out of relationships with girls from his time. Sesshomaru was good now and he and Koga get along better with Inuyasha and Miroku then they did before. They have respect for each other and sometimes act like a group of kids. They spare together and try and get each other in trouble with their girls. The girls just laugh at it and don’t worry. They think it’s good for the boys to have the same friendship as the girls do.
Just then Koga, Gin, Rin, and Sesshomaru all came in soaking wet and laughing. Well the boys were laughing and the girls were blushing. Then they noticed the tear stains on Kagome’s face. “What’s wrong? Did Inuyasha make you mad again?” Rin asked. “Now Rin,” Gin popped in, “if Inuyasha made Kagome mad do you really think Kagome would be on his lap?”
Everyone knew Inuyasha would be kissing the ground and Kagome would be hitting him, so no one answered. Kagome either laughed or choked, but she snuggled closer to Inuyasha. “She said that she’s scared of storms,” Sango said. “I’m alright everyone. I just wish the thunder would go away that’s all.” Kagome said that and sat up. “Sorry but if I stay like that I’ll fall asleep,” Kagome whispered then yawned. Everyone laughed or at least the girls did the boys just smiled or snorted. (Boys do that don’t they?)
Now just so everyone knows they are in a village created by themselves. In other words they made this village to fit what they wanted. Every couple has a hut and every couple has a second hut because some of the girls might kick their guys out. And there were also many other huts for guests if they come by, or for anyone who passes by that needs a room. There are bathrooms for couples and for one-person baths and group baths too.
“So,” Inuyasha trying to come up with conversation said, “what were all of you doing before you came in, hmm?” The girls went beet red and the boys grinned then winked. Everyone but Shippo knew what happened. “What! What! What happened!” Shippo screamed. “Don’t worry about it Shippo,” Kagome whispered and then said, “O.K. everyone get to your own huts ‘cause I want to go to bed.” “Good night Kagome,” everyone said as Rin and Gin dragged Sesshomaru and Koga away.

To be continued…

Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 4:45 pm
by Kanya Barton
It was nice...but what was the point of the story? What exactly were you trying to get across by writing this? In order for it to be an interesting story it needs to have something really going on instead of just information on who's dating who and whatnot. There's no conflict so there can't be a climax, and without a climax there is nothing to attract more readers. This is something that you might want to work on. I'm not trying to put you down or anything...I'm just giving some constructive criticism...that's all. Okiday? :)
Peace out! :D

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2003 6:05 pm
by dark-angel
It's in parts all of this is to help you understand my greatest project that I haven't had time to really start. I'm only in middle school and have too many extra stuff never have time anymore I wrote all these part over the summer and I'm going to work hard over holidays for you will that be ok Kanya? Everyone?

Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 8:42 am
by WaterGoddessX
hey that sounds kewl.. i cant wait to read the rest.

Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 3:29 pm
by bookworm
Interesting. I wonder how the couples came together? Can't wait to read about that.

Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2003 9:10 pm
by Kanya Barton
Ooooooohhhhh...I see now! Okiday...well, yeah...I feel really bad now. :x I'm such a meanie! Argh...well, I can't wait until you start the big project that you're talking aboot!
Peace out! :D