Blissful Ignorance

"Sea of Stars"

A Gundam Wing Story
by Trekkiexb5


Category: Drama, Romance
Couples: 1xR, 2xH--the normal match-ups
Rating: R for language. Heero has a potty mouth and so does Zechs. It's a bit lime-y in parts, too.
Caution: part of this story is about rape, though it is really never described in detail.
Posting: I'm posting at fanfiction.net, but anyone can post it, as long as my name stays attached. AND you write me and tell me how bad (or good) it was.

Summary: Relena told him to get a life, so he did, of sorts. Now, it?s her turn. But the past often shows it's ugly head at the worst of times. Are they ready to handle a past when they are just getting grips with the Present?

Gundam Wing isn't mine. If it was, you would be watching this, not reading it.

Author's notes: WHAT!?!?! You didn't read them? Shame, Shame!

HEY!! Free virtual Cheesy-doodles if you find quotes and situations from other shows and songs. The story's loaded with them.

This chapter is especially dedicated to all you in the prop community. You know who you are!!!

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"Sea of Stars"
Chapter 3
FLIGHT TWICE OVER THE ATLANTIC

I got out of the taxi around 3 pm. It was still storming outside (but not pouring like the other day) as I hobbled into my hotel. Damn crutches! Sally of course drilled me for information. She had help from one Colonel Une. After they picked my brains of my plans, (they agreed it was a good idea) she reattached the two bone fragments jarred loose by Zechs and 'glued them' into their proper places. Thankfully I was unconscious for that part. I can ignore pain for the most part, but I am getting tired feeling it on a daily basis. It's distracting.

She also changed my pain meds- saying that these would just put me to sleep, not make me ill. Otherwise, she pronounced me well enough to travel.

As if she had any control in that.

I somehow made it back to my room. I was still feeling the anesthesia. At least she didn't put it in a plaster cast. I would have screamed then. Well... probably pulled a gun and took a hostage. I laid down my head with my phone on the pillow. I promptly fell asleep...

And woke up to the telephone ringing. Checking the number I saw it was the number to Relena's home office. "Yes?" I answered groggily.

"Um, Heero? Did I wake you up? It's me, Relena," she added unnecessary.

"hn-"

"I've, uhm, made a decision on your proposal."

"hn." Come on, spit it out.

"Uhm, well, er, I'd like to go with you." She finally spit out.

"Good,' was my answer, but the little Duo in my head was doing cartwheels. I had to agree with him.

"Uhm...Uhm, well...do you want me to come to the hotel or what and what should I bring and lady Une and Millardo will take care of the press and my job and...?

"Relena,? I interrupted her. She was babbling. "You don't need any thing heavy to wear; light sweaters, jean shorts, tee-shirts, and the like. Bring swimwear. Casual clothing nothing really fancy. You can bring anything personal but no work related items and communication devices. Don't back too heavy. Meet me at the Spaceport at 1130 hours tomorrow at gate 62. I'll have your tickets ready."

"Oh...ok, then." There was a pause, like she wanted to say more. "Then I?ll see you tomorrow, then." Another pause. "Bye, Heero"

"Bye, Relena." Well, that worked out. I had already taken care of the rest of it, visas and whatnot. I laid back down on the bed. Before I fell asleep, I decided to ditch the crutches.


She was waiting in the terminal wearing a pair of scruffy jeans, a powder blue t-shirt, brown leather jacket and tennis shoes. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She looked like a frail 14-year-old. She sat forlornly in one of those eternally uncomfortable airport chairs, looking down at the carry-on between her feet. I noticed she ditched her bodyguards and her brother. She always had a knack for that, much to my dismay. Now I was glad for it.

Well, the brother part, anyways.

I quietly slid into the chair next to her. ?Hello, Relena,? I said just loud enough that she could hear me over the commotion of the busy terminal.

She nearly jumped through the roof. A bit skittish, anyone?

?Oh! Uhm, Heero! You startled me!?

I can see that-but I kept my mouth shut.

After a moment she sat back down and resumed her inspection of the laminate flooring.

One of the advantages of being injured is that you get to board first. When we were escorted to our sets, I took some meds, buckled up and promptly fell asleep. Relena accompanied me to dreamland, for when the stewardess woke me up to tell me that we were on final approach to JFK, I found that Relena had rested her head against my shoulder and was currently drooling on it.

It was another long walk across the terminal to the hanger but this time I had two hours to get there. And no vomiting. Sally can prescribe meds to me any day of the week.

We even had time to eat in one of the restaurants in the terminal. Well, I ate. Relena barely touched her salad and drank half of her orange juice. If she had been eating like this that last three weeks, no wonder she looked so frail.

I have been trying to keep my anger from showing about this guy. With my injuries, I knew chasing after him was near impossible. I had to let the other Gundam pilots do my footwork and fed them as much Information and advice to Duo, Quartre, and Trowa electronically.

I rarely get emotional about anything, and when I do-I rarely express it. It isn?t because I?m emotionless, or embarrassed by them; it?s because I don?t know how to express them. I know how to discipline myself from pain and react in a methodical way. I thought at first, it was all my training I have had in life, first as an assassin then as a Gundam Pilot that guided me to not have emotions. After all, they are distraction on the battlefield. But now?I don?t know. The only feelings I seem to get in strong ones and seem to overpower everyone around me.

I was concerned if I reacted in anger in front of Relena she would be frightened of me. After all, one man terrified her. And I did not want her to be frightened of me. I do not know why I want that.

So unsure in what to do sitting in the hospital, I e-mailed Duo on my uncertainty of visiting her. He wrote back saying I should go and see her. She always feels safe around me, he said. Still says that, he said.

Yes, I listened to Duo and did what he said. You may think I was stupid to listen to him, but actually Duo occasionally gives out good advice.

When it comes to emotions, I always at least listen to Duo, once in a while.

He isn?t a Gundam pilot for nothing, you know. He?s just-loud.

Well, Relena and I made it to Willard?s plane when they were loading the last of the supplies and luggage in the belly of the fuselage. With a small crowd milling around the lounge area of the hanger, I would hazard a guess that Willard picked up some passengers.

After the fuel was loaded in the wings of the aircraft, we were allowed to board the flying deathtr?I mean, the vintage aircraft. There was no seat assignment. Relena scooted in the seats behind an elderly couple and I joined her. Everybody had boarded and the prop plane finally took off. I knew I wasn?t going to sleep this flight. Turboprop engines are notoriously loud.

The plane had seats for thirty passengers but I counted only eleven, including us. Being with Relena again awakened all those protective bodyguard habits I had. As the proverb goes: Old habits die hard and old soldiers never forget their duty.

So I let my instincts kick in and began to observe the passengers. The couple in front of us was Mr. and Mrs. Graham, residents of the Sargasso of Scottish Descent. In fact, they live down from me. I knew them well. No problems there. They were chatting with another elderly couple cross the isle form them. What I gleaned from the conversation is that they were the Jenkins and they trying to catch up to their cruise ship. I was currently docked at the Sargasso. No bad vibes here. Though not common, missing the cruise ship?s movement does happen.

Behind us were the five other passengers. A middle-aged woman with three children and a single young female. I did not know the mother?s name, but her face was familiar. As for the two couples in front of us, I perceived her and her brood was harmless. Unless the 11-year-old boy tries to fly the plane. Then again, he?d probably do a better job than Willard.

The girl in the back corner I didn?t know. And unlike the other passengers, who were talking amiably among themselves, she sat silent, not even trying to get into the conversations around her. She was trying act like she was reading but I caught her glancing at Relena.

I was suspicious at first, but as Relena isn?t a resident and is famous, I would suppose it would be unnerving, despite the policy of the Seaweed Nations. After all, the Grahams looked at Relena with wide eyes but say anything. And speaking of the Grahams, little old Mrs. Graham turned in her seat to face me. Maybe she was curious. After all, Relena wasn?t in any kind of disguise.

?Heero-isn?t it?? I nodded. She continued in a thick Scottish burr, ?I thought it was you. You are the brave young man who save the Tranchshaw children, right??

Yes I did, please be quiet. But all I did was nod. I can behave in polite company.

?Pity on the parents, such nice folks,? she mused. ? I see you brought a friend for a visit,? she glanced over at Relena, who was staring blankly out the window and apparently ignoring this conversation about her.

?Yes, I did. She?ll have a year vista,? I anticipated her next question.

She blinked at that. Then she leaned over the headrest, and motioned for me to move closer. ?We had heard on the telly what happened, of course. I didn?t know you knew her.?

Well, because I don?t advertise.

?But I?m glad you brought her. The sea air, excellent food, and the atmosphere of our little community will do her all the world of good.?

?Yes,? I answered. And she was right. I knew the day I decided to ask her to come stay with me. Despite everything, the people there change me, at least a little.


I think.

It is hard to psychoanalyse yourself. She nodded brightly and turned back around in her seat.

I was feeling fidgety and nervous. When I woke up in the hospital, I had received several hundred thanks yous and get well soons, as well as balloons, flowers, and stuffed animals. The Consortium equivalent of a newspaper interviewed me, against my better judgment. My shrink thought I should do this. It is all right to have a little bit of prideful ego, he said.

hn- sure, fine, whatever.

I told Relena that I was going to the bathroom. She nodded, and then continued to stare at the white puffy clouds out her window. What concerned me the most was the fact she hadn't asked me where we were going.

I limped (unpainfully for a change) towards the front of the aircraft where the galley and the bathroom separated the crew from the passengers. After maneuvering in and out of the tiny restroom, I headed for the cockpit. Willard, a balding 42-year-old with a stringy blonde mustache was talking to a younger freckled faced red head male sitting in the co-pilot's seat. Willard smiled at me when he saw me and waved to the empty navigator seat. He pointed to the headset on his head and motioned for me put the spare set on.

"Ah, Heero-they never soundproofed the cockpit."

"That's because they didn't want to waste money on this antique piece of junk,? This was an old argument.

"This 'piece of junk'," he stated regally. "Has personality, unlike some of those new fangled sub orbitals out there."

Hn- personality? He should meet Wing Zero.

"Oh, let me introduce you to my co-pilot," his voice sounding tinny over the headset. " This Jimmy Hutchason? I knew the name, as it was my job as a security officer to know all the Cantilena Pilots. "So SHE came, eh?" He continued.

Why did everybody have to know my business? It must be the worst thing about living in a small community.

"hn."

"She's a tiny little thing," Jimmy spoke up. "Looks like a stiff wind could knock her over."

"hn."

"You're not a talkative fellow are you?" Jimmy pointed out. I wasn't going to dignify that with an answer, but Willard was.

"He's always like that, don't mind him, Jimmy. But one hell of a security officer." He paused. "So interesting mix of passengers, eh?"

"Yes, only eleven this time, I would have thought more." Yes, I was fishing, but Willard is so oblivious I could get away with it.

"Twelve, actually. Jimmy here is a passenger. His plane is at Sargasso, gearbox change. You know those are hell, and he had to get to his sister's wedding."

Twelve? When I called him this morning there was only eleven. It had to be the woman, but I had to be sure. "So Jimmy," I said lightly, at least I tried to sound lightly. "I would have thought, being a pilot and all, you wouldn't be a last minute passenger."

Willard chuckled. "You're right- he's passenger number three, after you and your guest. No, it was the girl sitting by herself." He glanced back at me and saw that my face went suddenly blank. I did not like this at all. "Don't worry,? He said, trying to reassure me. "I put her through all the same security checks as usual. That's why we were a little late taking off."

One of nice things about the Seaweed Nations is that they are just as paranoid as me when it comes to security. Even I had a tough time passing their background checks. Still, I didn't feel good about it. Years of experience told me I should trust my instincts. But the girl felt- wrong.

"Did you forward the passenger list to Sargasso?"

"No, not yet..."

I cut Willard off, angry at his lapse in judgment. "Do it now and send a copy to Officer Stransky." I trusted Anton. He'll know what to do.

Both pilots nodded, and I took my leave of them. When reentered the passenger area, I hazarded a glance at the woman. She met my glance but quickly looked down. Busted. I couldn't to anything now, and I didn't know what type of danger it was, but involved Relena and.

Where?s Relena?

I noticed a honey blonde head of hair sandwiched between the two gray heads. Apparently Mrs. Jenkins and Relena were forced to look at Mrs. Graham's pictures of her latest grandchild. Only danger there is she would die of boredom of the Grahams' stories of their family. I sat back in our seats and watched the woman out of the corner of my eye.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, but not quiet. When one places a toddler, a sullen teenager and a smart mouthed adolescent in a small place and feed them caffeine and sugar the end result is... well not very pretty. It was a good thing I didn't have a weapon, otherwise I would have shot the mother for having annoying brats.

Ok, the little girl was endearing, slightly, when tried very hard to trade her very dilapidated baloney and mustard sandwich for my cookies at dinner.

Relena eventually returned to her seat. Not speaking except to ask me to move so she could go to the bathroom. The first time, the woman in the back started to get up, but one of my patented 'Death Stares' dropped her in her seat. She could pee her pants for I'd care.

As we finally started to circle the Sargasso Sea, Relena gasped, staring at the sight outside the window. To the untrained eye, it looks like a gigantic Spider on the ocean. Actually all the Seaweed Nations do. She turned to me questionably.

I guessed at her question. "Yes Relena, that is where I work and live." Her eyebrows shot up. "I suppose I don't look the type to live on a yacht." Her left eyebrow dropped. Wow, expressions. "I work for the security, there."

She just stared at me for a moment. She then turned her head to gaze at the large conglomeration of docks and boats below.

We soon landed on a, finally, calm Atlantic. Willard taxied into the huge docking matrix, passing several cruise ships and boats of the non-residents. We pulled up to a pier near a cluster of seaplanes. The plane's outer hatch opened and a gangplank was placed in the opening.

I let the other passengers disembark before us, including Miss Enigma. Relena and I soon joined the queue at the end of the dock.

There, a small open aired building that took up the entire width of the dock. Inside, was the customs offer and the officers that search the carry ons. And the metal detector. And the Chemical compound detecter. I told you that they were paranoid.

The officer, dressed in Yellow and Blue, checked your paperwork and made sure that you were cleared to be here. Standing behind the clerk, was Anton, and several more guards. He saw me and nodded after he caught my eye.

To make a long story short no one had problems clearing customs. Even the cruise couple that was greeted by a rep from the ship. But when the woman approached the desk, she was 'escorted' out towards the holding area in the central area of the Sargasso. Mission Completed.

I would later learn that she was a reporter who happened to be staying in the same hotel I was staying in the Sanq Kingdom. She so happened to be in the reception area when Zechs made his appearance.

hn.

END OF CHAPTER 3

Trust me it was much longer and a lot more boring. More character development next chapter. All I got to do is type it up!!

Reviews please!! Also any mistakes please tell me!

"Sea of Stars"

A Gundam Wing Story
by Trekkiexb5


Category: Drama, Romance
Couples: 1xR, 2xH--the normal match-ups
Rating: R for language. Heero has a potty mouth and so does Zechs. It's a bit lime-y in parts, too.
Caution: part of this story is about rape, though it is really never described in detail.
Posting: I'm posting at fanfiction.net, but anyone can post it, as long as my name stays attached. AND you write me and tell me how bad (or good) it was.

Summary: Relena told him to get a life, so he did, of sorts. Now, it?s her turn. But the past often shows it's ugly head at the worst of times. Are they ready to handle a past when they are just getting grips with the Present?

Gundam Wing isn't mine. If it was, you would be watching this, not reading it.

Author's notes: Hey!!! Someone read them and lived long enough to give me a feed back!! There's a lesson there.

HEY!! Free virtual Cheesy-doodles if you find quotes and situations from other shows and songs. The story's loaded with them.

Long live the 'Bluejacket's Manual!'

This chapter is especially dedicated to Ranma, my half Cocker Spaniel and half Black Lab and 100% Spanish. Also to Zapenstap, who was sooo correct in "Desires of the Heart" but why TED? WHAT? You haven't read it? Read this then read hers. I order you!! (hee hee!)

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"Sea of Stars"
Chapter 4

"Sea of Stars" and Zero


After clearing customs, he headed towards the Rotunda, the "body" of the "spider." Relena looked around, wide-eyed. The Consortium doesn't advertise itself, and many people on the planet, politicians included, may have never heard of the Seaweed Nations. What I told Relena was more detailed, but I will keep it simple writing it down. After all, my doctor lives here, and doesn't need an explanation. Frankly, I was glad of her interest and her questions.

The Rotunda, actually shaped like an up-side-down tear, is twenty-five stories tall, seven of which is above the waterline. All eight of the Seaweed Nations Consortiums are laid out the same. The only different one is the South Pacific Consortium, which is approximately five times larger. The tip of the tear is cabled to a seamount. There are also several bracing cables attached to various points on the seamount to prevent stress and drifting. The cables are loose enough to handle rough seas and hurricane force storms. In the worst case, the Rotunda came be completely sealed off and submerged, though this has never happened.

The "spider legs" are large docks that at the widest are about fourteen feet. The length varies, from half a mile at the shortest to three miles. Underneath the wooden and plastic structures is conduits for fresh water, sewer, electrical, and fiber optic communication lines that run to the hundreds of ships, yachts, boats, barges, and aircraft docked here. To make it easier to maneuver through the maze of docks, they are all given street names. There are apartments in the Rotunda, of course, however they are very tiny and very expensive.

The Consortiums are virtually self sufficient, renting subs and docking space for scientific explorations on the deep sea and being a unique stop for cruise ships. Also, hosting its own fishing fleet, it sells its exotic catches to the elite of the land. It grows crops, either on the special 'greenhouse' barges or various seaweeds on the open sea. It has its own police, schools, hospitals, hotels, restaurants, stores, and yes even a swimming pool. But mostly the population is people who are either musicians, artists, writers, and other bohemian types, or drifters who don't really have a place anywhere else. Like me.

Several people greeted me, mostly security personnel in yellow polo shirts and blue shorts/swim trunks. I nodded back. I wanted to get home- and I wanted to talk to Relena in peace. Her questions petered off as we passed the Rotunda to the opposite side from where we landed. She had more questions but she seemed to understand I did not wish to answer them at this moment.

We proceeded down 'Stan Lee Ave.' to reached the eighth intersection of docks. We turned right on 'Gotham Way' until we stopped at the third yacht from the end. I didn't think the names for these streets so don't blame me.

Had to get that out.

Anyways she looked up at the yacht on the port side and gasped. I felt my lips twist in a very sight smirk.

"This is where you have been living, Heero?" She whispered, not taken her eyes of the ship.

"I had her made. She's two years old." I directed Relena to the smaller dock that ran between my 'baby' and the second ship from the end. I gestured grandly towards the gangplank leading up to the ship and made a little bow. "Welcome Aboard the 'Sea of Stars'."

You worked very hard on her, so you can be a little proud of her, the Duo-in-my-head smugly acclaimed.

Her hull was almost black at the bow and gradually faded to the colour of the sea in the stern. Interspaced randomly all over the hull were stars that were painted with silver paint. It looked like she was sailing into space. But the on the bow below the bow spirit was the most remarkable piece of craftsmanship. And to think I found it in a boat "junkyard" on the Carolina Islands, rotting away. What, you ask? It is a wooden figurehead.

The figurehead (a woman) was wearing a short-sleeved shift that flowed past her uncarved toes. Her eyes are carved closed and the expression on her face was an expression of pure unadulterated joy. Her arms were stretched out back against her carved angel wings.

She looked like the way I felt when I flew Gundam Wing Zero. The waves and the wind she eagerly embraces will eventually destroy her-but it also gave her such pleasure.

What, I can appreciate beauty.

And, yes, she IS my baby.

So I bought her, had her protected, and placed the wooden figure on, yes, gundamium alloy hull.

Yes, a piece of Wing Zero.

No, I don't feel like writing that story down right now. It's long and rather boring, really. It?s none of your business, so don't ask, doctor.

Otherwise she looks like an average sixty-foot double mast yacht you can buy at any boat dealer.

Well, maybe not the hidden weapons locker design to fool any metal detector. I got a life, but I didn?t stop being paranoid.

Shut-up, Duo.

Relena got halfway up the gangplank when a large brown dog appeared in front of her. She stopped, glancing back apprehensively at me.

I looked at the pathetic excuse of watchdog. "That's Zero,? I told her. I could hear the Labrador?s tail thumping against the deck. "He is an idiot." Like Duo is an idiot; loyal, friendly, and LOUD. "He won't hurt you. He is the opposite of me? I added the last part for a bit of dry humor. Jokes are not my forte, for she didn?t even crack a smile.

But she nodded and approached the animal gingerly, holding her hand out for the dog to inspect it. Zero sniffed it, panted and proceeded to attack Relena with its tongue and its tail.

Idiot.

However, produced something from Relena that no one else has. She smiled, and that smile reached her eyes, if only for a moment.

We stood on the deck for a few minutes, Relena scratching Zero and me watching them. "Why Zero?" Relena looked up at me. She had put back her doll's face but her voice held a hint of curiosity.

I was starting to hate that face.

"I didn't name him for my Gundam, if that was what you were thinking. I named him that because that?s was the percentile chance that a half-drowned 3-week-old puppy had to live." Zero, instinctively knew I was talking about him came over to me. I scratched his white chin and made sure his life vest wasn't chafing. "He was another rescue. I though I was rescuing someone?s 'babies' but it ended up to be puppies. He was the only one out of the litter to survive."

Relena stood up from her kneeling position on the deck. "I never imagined you would have a dog for a pet, or live on a boat. You've changed Heero Yuy."

I looked her in the eyes. I'm glad you finally noticed, Relena. "Thank you. I hope it is for the better. I still understand how to 'live' but I am still trying."

She said nothing. Perhaps that was wise, for I was getting more and more perturbed with her lack of emotion. It was like we traded places. I wondered if I gave her weapon, she would go around killing people and setting her own leg bones. With this sudden insight, I realize how she felt all those years ago, hurt and confused. Why did she put up with me?

I wanted to fight, I wanted to 'kill' that doll that seemed to replaced Relena and stole her soul. I wanted her to have a heated argument with me on a topic of 'getting a life.' The one that should of happened three years ago, if I had a clue what was really going on. I was getting so sick of this flat person with the flat personality, I wanted to shake her. I wanted to show her what life is really like, not that fake one she wears.

Even more, for me, I want to figure out why there is this irresistible force that drives me to her and her to me.

"Yo, Yuy!"

I shook myself from my thoughts and looked over the railing to observe the dark-haired Anton Stransky waving wildly at me. He had obligingly got two porters to help with Relena's luggage and my supplies I bought when I was on land. The teenaged boys struggled with the overloaded dolly on the gently rocking dock to the bottom of my gangplank.

"Yuy, PLEASE tell me this is the steaks," he asked poking at a large Styrofoam box marked 'perishable.'

"Have I ever let you down?" I answered back, watching with amusement at the youth's faces when they realized that the dolly wasn't going to make it up the gangplank. They'll have to hand carry all that stuff. hn. They're getting paid.

And besides, at their age, I was a Gundam Pilot.

Anton ran up the gangplank- only to greeted by Zero. The dog's favorite mode of attack is jumping up on people licking their face.

Damn dog.

Anton pushed the canine down and looked at my visitor. Relena had moved so I was between her and Anton. He noticed her shyness, and gave her is best smile. "Hi, you must be Relena," He said in a deep baritone with hints of his Russian accent. "My name is Anton Stransky. Welcome to the Sargasso Sea."

I couldn't see her reaction, but I can take by the silence, she had closed up again. Anton's award-winning smile dropped a few notches. An uncomfortable silence filled the gaps between us.

Well, to break the silence. "Do you know that Anton, here, worked with your brother?" I turned to face Relena. She blinked owlishly.

"Yes, I was in Antarctica with him, on the Tallgeese project of his."

I could see the gears turning in her head. Then she suddenly gasped, eyes wide. Anton smiled and continued. "Yes,? he whispered, so the two struggling boys could not hear. "I know who Heero is."

She looked at me. I shrugged. I know she had worked hard in the government stop people, for good reasons or bad, to uncover our identities. We never asked her but it was welcomed gift she gave us.

Freedom is always a wonderful gift.

Silence again filled the spaces between us. Relena stood, no emotions playing across her face. She then looked up at Anton and hesitantly held her hand out.

Anton smiled and took her hand with both of his. " So glad we are going to be neighbors." He pointed to the red and white ship moored across the 'street' from me. "That's the 'North Star'? She turned to look at the boat. Anton glanced at me and could see he was taking inventory of my condition.

Releasing the remaining hand from Relena's grasp, he announced that both must be exhausted and order for us to make through the party tonight and properly enjoy Dave's cooking (and my steaks) we should both take naps and he would take care of the luggage and the supplies. Actually, the speech was much longer and far more flowerily, but I don't have the time or patience to write the whole speech out.

To be honest, a nap sounded like an excellent idea. My leg was starting to throb and Relena was suffering from some serious jet lag. Even though I would be short some steaks that Anton would 'mysteriously' acquire, I agreed to it and proceeded to show Relena where she would be living for awhile.

I guided her through the main hatchway into the main living space. The "Sea of Stars" has three decks. The top deck (a half deck) consists of the pilothouse. The lowest deck (and the largest space) is mostly storage area. It also has two cabins in the aft, one I have turned into a library. There is also the chain locker, pump room, desalination equipotent, and engine room. She can be run by propeller if necessary but she's a sailing ship. There is also access to bilge.

The middle or main deck is the space we entered. Four steps from the hatchway down brings you to a blue carpeted living room with two twelve foot couches that line the bulkheads on the port and starboard of the space. Straight ahead aft and to the left the blue carpet turns into tan linoleum and into the kitchen with a table attached and five barstools. Across from the kitchen is another hatch and a hallway that leads back behind the kitchen.

She followed me through the hallway, passing the laundry/ pantry room, two ladderways, and the head to the cabins in the aft of the boat. I showed her to the smaller of the two and opened the door for her.

"This is your cabin. It's smaller than your room back home," by quite a lot, "but comfortable."

Like my cabin, it had a closet with bifold doors and a dresser underneath the curving windows with blue curtains. She only had a twin bed (with storage underneath) made up with blue linens, while I had a queen. There was a small cabinet at the head of the bed, made of a dark walnut, like the rest of the furniture. And like the rest of the furniture on the "Sea of Stars", hell any yacht, it was all bolted down with latches on all doors, cabinets, and drawers.

This home rocks.

hn. Sorry.

She silently inspected the room, placing her carry-on on the dresser, finally coming to sit on the bed. We were uncomfortably silent for several minutes, listing to the hustle outside the cabin door and the gentle lapping of the waves coming from the open window.

I wanted to lie down and take my meds. I coughed. "Relena, my cabin is the next door. If you need anything, just knock,? and pray it is loud enough to wake me from a drug-induced slumber. hn. She didn't look at me.

I'm really hating this silent treatment. If she acts like that tonight, I'll have break it to her tomorrow. I can't help her if she won't talk to me.

I closed her door and went to my cabin. I kicked off my shoes and collapsed on my bed. I dry swallowed my meds. Halfway to sleep, I felt a large furry face sniffing my crotch. The weight shifted and the head lay on my stomach and then it sighed.

Damn dog. He knows he shouldn't be on the bed. I swear he's taking advantage of my injury. The last thing I remembered before sleep caught me was my hand petting the canine.

END CHAPTER 4




++++++++++++
Naval Dictionary

Fore-forward of the ship; the front. Often used outside shipboard.
aft-behind. See fore.
bulkhead- a wall.
bilge- lowest area on a ship. water from leaks gather here
port- left
starboard- right
cabin- living area
hatch-an opening in a ship
bow- front of the ship. boward is the direction of the bow, not to be confused with fore.
stern-back of the ship. sternward is the direction of the stern, not to be confused with aft.
fenders and camels- cushions to protect the ship when moored. fenders are above waterline and camel are below the waterline.
ladder and ladderways-stairs
moor-what a ship is when it is tied up at dock.
waterline- the line on the hull of the ship where the water reaches. This change when how heavy the ship is in the water.
head-bathroom.
deck- do I really have to explain this?

More words will be added when I use them. Someone pointed out not everyone knows nautical terms.

R&R pleez!!!!

"Sea of Stars"

A Gundam Wing Story
by Trekkiexb5


Category: Drama, Romance
Couples: 1xR, 2xH--the normal match-ups
Rating: R for language. Heero has a potty mouth and so does Zechs. It's a bit lime-y in parts, too.
Caution: part of this story is about rape, though it is really never described in detail.
Posting: I'm posting at fanfiction.net, but anyone can post it, as long as my name stays attached. AND you write me and tell me how bad (or good) it was.

Summary: Relena told him to get a life, so he did, of sorts. Now, it?s her turn. But the past often shows it's ugly head at the worst of times. Are they ready to handle a past when they are just getting grips with the Present?

Gundam Wing isn't mine. If it was, you would be watching this, not reading it.

Author's notes: (author brandishing large paper fan) read. WHACK! read. WHACK!

HEY!! Free virtual Cheesy-doodles if you find quotes and situations from other shows and songs. The story's loaded with them.

Nobody hasn't 'fessed up yet. What, you don't like cheesy-doodles?

Special dedication to Pink Floyd. Dozens of their albums were playing during the making of this story. Also to THE BLACK ROSE. One of the best Gundam writers out there. And she gave something to appreciate just much as Gundam Wing fan fiction: Full Metal Panic! fan fiction. Check out "Dinner and Desert." As for Full Metal Panic!, weeellll, its the kinder, gentler, and funnier Gundam Wing. Heero and Sanosake are related, cousins really. I highly recommend.


NOW, ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!

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***Remember the thing about rape. It will be discussed in this chapter. Serious nasty icky rotten lime warning. Not to be confused with fresh lime warning <g>. There will be some of those down the line.


"Sea of Stars"
Chapter 5
A Crack in the Wall part 1: Is there anyone out there?



++++++++++++

The strings of plastic coloured lanterns tried vainly to compete with fantastic star field overhead. We were on the Mohlers' boat, the green and white "Southern Cross." Dave's delicious dinner eaten, we were now sitting on the deck on lawn chairs, talking. The blonde Mary Mohler was talking to Relena, telling anything and everything about Sargasso. Relena actually looked interested.

Her husband Chris, a balding marine biologist had gone inside to get more drinks. Anton was listening to Mary's chatter with some interest while holding Dave's hand. Dave, a blonde blue-eyed and often referred as an 'Adonis' by most of the women (and many of the men) of Sargasso was preening. He does that so well, that and acting like a stereotypical homosexual man. We ignore him as much as possible when in he's in that state.

I sat in silence, finally relaxing after several hectic days. I rolled the empty bottle of root beer (Mary wouldn't serve me alcohol. Mother hen) and contemplated my step in Relena's Healing Process.

Even though I'm far from normal, however I really believe I'm far better off than I was. I can have a normal job (which I have to go back to next week), I have friends, and I have a home...

OK, it?s a little different.

Relena, however, has spent her most of her life in the spotlight. She was a prominent politician's daughter, a princess, a Queen, and finally a politician in her own right. Her work is important, butt at what cost?

Would the world self-destruct if she stepped down? Probably. She is willing to 'die' on her 'Cross of Peace'; the world's martyr. They love her, worship her, but they are also willing sacrifice her to Peace. Actually, I'm more concerned how I feel. I don't understand but I wish she would just stay with me forever.

Not that I don't want peace. I killed for peace. I stopped killing for peace. But for some reason I wasn't going to allow the world to destroy her for their own reasons. I didn't carry through my assassination of Relena so humankind could use her as a crutch.

"You are thinking hard, Heero, what's on your mind?" A bottle of root beer appeared in front of me.

After I grabbed the cold glass bottle, Chris flopped down in the empty lawn chair next to me. His lightly toned body settling uneasily in the seat. He dragged his hand through what's left of his light brown hair.

"Good clear night, eh,? he said after a moment, looking at me sideways.

I took a sip of my drink. "hn."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Wha-ya thinking?"

Why do I surround myself with nosy people? I sigh, giving in. "I am thinking in how I should address Relena."

"Well, by her name should be sufficient, or does she like to be called Fluffy-bunny?" He grinned.

I glared at him. "No, how I should address Relena's problem."

He took a swig of his beer and looked thoughtfully at the crowd on the portside of the boat. "Well, I think for you that telling it like it is would be the best." He took another sip before continuing. "I think she would appreciate the honesty. Heero, but don't be harsh. Sugar coat it."

Sugar coat it? Could I sugar coat? I suppose I could. We sat in silence, listening to the ocean and the voices of friends and family. Just enjoying the warm summer night. And I left it at that.

Relena and I woke up in time for lunch. I called the hospital ship for an appointment later this week. I decided to take Relena on a tour of the Rotunda. I didn't have very much to do until work started back up.

She came out of her room and mumbled good morning to me. She plopped on one of the barstools at the table opposite me and looked disinteresting at my plain but good tasting meal. She picked up a fork and started to stab at the macaroni and cheese.

Over and over. What did macaroni and cheese do to her to deserve this?

I reached across the table and grabbed her hand. She looked at me, doll eyes were back.

I became upset. Did I mention I hate those doll eyes?

"This will stop- now," I said.

Her doll eyes blinked at me but she said nothing at me. Damnit!

I took a deep breath. Sugar coat, remember. "I know what was done to you was painful, humiliating, and very wrong." A glaze of pain flickered across her eyes. Good, emotions, finally. "But walking around here like a mobile suit without a pilot will not help you."

Her eyes widened at that statement. I felt a faint tug at my hand. Excellent. I continued. "It won't help you heal, it won't help me and sure as hell it won't help the peace you so carefully created."

The tug became more insistent. "Look, you need to talk about it, if not to me, then to a doctor." with my free hand I pulled her chin up so I could look her in the eyes. There was fear there. Fear of what? "I don't care what you do. Scream, throw things cry, hit me, but you need to express yourself." I bent over the table and looked her deep in the eyes. "Believe me, I know. I am an expert at it." Her eyes widened.

I released her and reached for the business card I sat out earlier. I handed her the card. She took it with trembling fingers. I took another deep breath. "Dr. Andrews isn't my shrink,? Her eyes flashed up in wide surprise. "Yes, Relena I have a shrink. She isn't my shrink but she specializes in rape victims. If you don't want to tell me what happened,? Another surprised look crossed her face. She knew my habits well. "Yes, Relena, I read the police report, but I would like to hear it in your own words. But it isn't important that you tell me."

Shit- Heero, that didn't sound quite right. The mini Duo was screaming rephrase and making dive-bomber noises.

I sighed. She looked confused and afraid and sad. "What I meant is that if you cannot tell me or if you feel uncomfortable telling me, I?m- I'm ok with that." Was I? This whole conversation was going to hell and I felt...uncomfortable myself discussing 'it.' "Talk to Dr. Andrews, OK?" ending the speech quickly.

I guess there are reasons I keep my mouth shut. I rested my elbow on the table and leaned my head into my hand. God, I hope she understood me. I should really stick to what I'm good at, like killing people, guarding others, mobile suite piloting, hacking, and- did I mention piano? Somehow I'm good at that, too.

"Ok"

I looked up at her. Her head was down but a swear I heard...

"Ok, I'll make an appointment"

I smiled (yes, I can do that too. Shut up Duo.) And held out my hand. "I'm sorry that was a little harsh. I'm not good at this." Sugar coating that is.

She looked up, a little surprised that I was smiling, I suppose. Ok, it is rare to see a smile on my face. In fact, I don't know why I smiled. No surprises, there. She grasped my outstretched hand in a handshake. Her lips were starting to move upwards.

She looked at me. "That's ok, Heero. I'm not good at it either."

I was starting to realize that, too.

"I have no plans today, so if you want, I could show you around after we eat. If you want."

She nodded, released my hand and actually started to eat the now cold macaroni and cheese.

Finally.

We walked around the Rotunda after lunch. Being an efficient tour guide, I pointed to all the places of interest, like where to shop and not get ripped off. Yes, I know that. I showed here where I worked.

She didn't ask a lot of questions. However, she showed an interest in just about everything I said. We ate dinner at the "Waterloo" where Dave is the head chief, at least at the moment. Until he pisses someone off or someone pisses him off.

Dave came out and sat with us. Dinner was spent with Dave shamelessly flirting with the both of us. Normally I don't tolerate his crap, but Relena found it mildly amusing so I kept my tongue under control. Hell, he was in such a good mood, he brought a ham bone out for Zero, who accompanied us on our explorations and now was happily panting at out feet.

It was a good day.

The next several flew by in much the same way. Relena and I communicated every morning over breakfast. We didn't 'talk' but it was better than her doll face. She took full advantage of the fact she had the freedom to move around without bodyguards. And She was getting more confidant moving around without me limping beside her.

Over dinner she would tell me were she went and the people she met. Chris even took her on one of the subs during a maintenance dive. She ran into the Grahams and lunch with them. She always came back with something, usually for Zero. Yeah, he got spoiled. But I got a hand made coffee mug she bought. The caption read "...Well I AM good looking and I can still kick your ass."

I did mention bohemian, right? Just checking.

I went to my doctors' (both mental and physical therapists) One read my damn novel I seem to be writing and asked me how I felt having her here with me. And if I had any aggressive urges towards Zechs. hn. I told him and bolted. I hate going there. The other doctor was all together much better, despite the torture. After playing with my leg and getting zapped with more radiation, he pronounced that I have graduated to a knee brace. No active patrol, yet still...

I love my healing speed.

Relena also went to the doctor. She said nothing to me, but I knew. When she returned, she looked pensive, like she had a major decision to make. Perhaps she did.

They gave me a desk job. I hate desk jobs. I was hoping when I returned to work that could go out on patrol. But, no, I was monitoring the cameras. Infinitely dull, but it allowed me to start preparations to sail to the South Pacific Consortium.

Relena was surprised when I told her. I said that I wasn't stupid. Doing patrol in the Mid Atlantic in winter means; 1) I would have to wear thermal scuba gear and 2) Ice berg patrol. Both don't appeal to me.

Actually I would have been gone by now. I am only staying this far into August for Relena. I am giving her a chance to change her mind. I did ask her if would like to leave or stay here. I would have stayed, for her, but I really didn't really want to. She said that I should not alter my plans in account for her being here.

hn.

That's another statement I?m not going to touch.

So, I watched my bank of monitors, while calculating dog food, human food for two, fuel rod for the generator, toll fees for the Panama Canal, docking fees for several ports along the way, and anything else I could think of into my budget.

The Perfect Soldier is doing a budget. I see the humor in it. I'm glad I did it at work. I don't think I could handle Relena's comments on it.

I also called to make sure that South Pacific had a job waiting for me there. The nice thing is that security for the Seaweed Nations is the same everywhere. It also helps that you are so good at your job, that they are willing to take you in even when they are fully staffed. That's with a pay raise.

I'm not bragging, really.

Fine don't believe me.

Shut up, Duo.

So three weeks passed since our arrival. No exiting events. Relena and my conversations were still limited to how our respective days went. We didn't watch or listen to the news. We loaded supplies for the voyage. We talked about the trip.

Honestly, very boring.

I was hoping for a little stimulating conversation. An argument. When I was her bodyguard, she and I had extreme arguments. On extreme topics (though the topic of choice was aspects of her security), extreme intelligent arguments, and extreme sound. Everyone in the mansion knew we were fighting. I relished it. She was challenge to overcome, to beat. Like a mobile suit battle, I suppose. Now I would be happy if would disagree over dinner menu selections.

Something's going to break-soon.

Probably me.

As it turns out, she folded first. And not it the way I thought she would. As my shrink constantly reminds me, we can't go backwards, only forwards.

Damn, I?m gonna miss those fights.

We were eating dinner. Relena was quieter than usual, not looking at me.

"I saw the doctor," she said, pushing an asparagus spear across her plate.

"hn."

'I talked to her and she agreed that I should talk to you first." She looked up at me, a sadness covering her face. "But I don't know how."

I stared at her. Frankly I'm surprised she listened to me. I was used to her counter-manning every other order or suggestion I gave. I put down my silverware. "Come with me? I said.

She nodded and took my outstretched hand. I brought he outside and helped her clamber up on top of the pilothouse. There, due to the angle of the docks and where I was moored, there was a clear and unrestricted view of the western sky.

I've found out that I like to watch the sunset. Well, I thought it was weird, too.

Zero soon joined us, though I could never figure out how the dog got up here. I led her to the aft edge, sat down, pulling her down to sit next to me. I still held her hand, our shoes swinging against the windows on the deck below. We watch the sun sink lower on the horizon.

I coughed, a little nervous and so very unsure. "It is easier to think up here. You don't have to look at anything but the sky. When I'm...confused, I sit up here and it at least helps me to clear my thoughts. Sometimes I get answers. A lot of times I have questions. But mostly it calms me."

Yeah, I said that. I'm starting to amaze myself.

Relena's quiet, but strong voice broke across the balmy sea and the darkening sky. "I finished my speech. It felt strange not seeing you. I had always felt...guilty about firing you."

I squeezed her hand. "I'm not upset about that anymore."

"Thanks." She squeezed my hand back. "Anyways, I checked in with my secretary and the security detail over the next day's schedule. Then I went to bed." She paused, and then continued. "When I got to my room, I locked the door and got undressed to take a shower." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a faint blush on her cheeks. "I of course, took off all my jewelry-including the 'special' ones."

She glanced at me and smiled. "Yes, I listened to you for once and wore the 'panic button' bracelet." She looked back at the sky.

Wow. She listened to me.

"He...he was waiting in the bathroom with a gun and a knife...? I could see that she closed her eyes. There were tears forming in the corners. Unsure what to do, I released her hand and then wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

I guess that was the right thing to do. She shuddered against me her arms snaked around my waist. But she still continued. "He forced me to take a shower making me...touch myself. Then he tied me up and...and..." She started to sob, drenching my tee shirt with her tears.

I had read the police report, of course, and even heard Relena's recorded voice statement. She sounded so clinical, so detached. I'm clinical, I'm detached. Relena is emotional. This was much better.

I think.

I thought she was finished but amazingly she to talk between her tears. "It hurt, Heero, It hurt so much. He would hit me if I ...reacted and called me a whore and if I didn't make a sound he hit me again and called me an unfeeling bitch."

Bastard-he's going to die.

"And the worst thing was..." She practically chocking on her tears. I wanted to tell her to stop, that she didn't have to say anymore, but morbid fascination and the fact if I knew exactly what he did, I could dream up more exotic and slower ways for him to die.

I already decided that his balls and dick should be removed, slowly and mounted and given to Relena. But I'm sure she's not the type to appreciate that.

But I would enjoy doing that.

I squeezed her shoulders. I suddenly realized that she needed to finish. For her. Zero knew this too because he was making whining noises and licking her cheek.

She hiccupped and sat up, my arm falling from her. I suddenly felt cold. She whirled, startling Zero and me. She looked right at me. "He didn't...didn't even ...ejaculated in me...he said I wasn?t worthy of his seed..."

Fucker. I'm going to let him live years under constant torture...

She looked at me like she wanted me to say something. Hell, what was I going to say? Sighing, I broke from her gaze. It?s hard to think looking in her eyes. I took her hand.

"Relena, I'm sorry I wasn't there. I wish I could make it all better but I can't. All I can do is to say that you are a far better person than he was,? hell, I didn't know what I was saying; I was making it up as I go. "I think you needed to be reminded of that. Someone who's a harsher critic than your brother, your co-workers, and even yourself.' I turned to look at her. "You are a good person. You are kind, generous, brave, and selfless. You did not deserve what happened to you."

What the hell was that, Heero? The mini Duo reared his ugly head again. But I had to agree, what in the hell was that gibberish?

Good gibberish, apparently, because Relena smiled through her sobs and hugged me. Startled, I hugged her back, abet, not as fiercely as she did. She was crying and mumbling my name. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

After a few minutes, she released me from her death grip and gave me a smile. Not a fake one or one of those politician smiles. It was one of those types that should be registered as a lethal weapon, for it had the same effect on me as my buster rifle would.

Now I was very confused and unsure what to do. The voice in my head was silent the one time I didn't want it to be. I sighed and took her hand, again. I could do that. She chuckled and threaded her fingers through mine. She turned to watch the sunset.

Ok--could somebody explain this?

But she was smiling and she was talking to me- both good things.

So as I turned towards the western sky, I concluded that this was a good day.

END OF CHAPTER

R&R pleez!!!!

"Sea of Stars"

A Gundam Wing Story
by Trekkiexb5


Category: Drama, Romance
Couples: 1xR, 2xH--the normal match-ups
Rating: R for language. Heero has a potty mouth and so does Zechs. It's a bit lime-y in parts, too.
Caution: part of this story is about rape, though it is really never described in detail.
Posting: I'm posting at fanfiction.net, but anyone can post it, as long as my name stays attached. AND you write me and tell me how bad (or good) it was.

Summary: Relena told him to get a life, so he did, of sorts. Now, it?s her turn. But the past often shows it's ugly head at the worst of times. Are they ready to handle a past when they are just getting grips with the Present?

Gundam Wing isn't mine. If it was, you would be watching this, not reading it.

Author's notes: (Fox Mulder approaches the mic) someone make her happy so she will finish MY story, where I'm the exciting dashing gorgeous hero and...

Scully: Mulder!! knock it off! You're bothering people who are trying to read. (Picks up paper fan left over from last chapter) OOOOhhhhh, MuuuuDDer!!!!

Mulder: Shit. (Runs)

HEY!! Free virtual Cheesy-doodles if you find quotes and situations from other shows and songs. The story's loaded with them.

No?

Fine, I'll give my cheesy-doodles to Scully.

NOW, ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!

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*** Serious nasty icky rotten lime warning, again. Sorry. This one may be a lot worse than the last, if there is such a thing. You've been warned. Heero's "Four Wedding's and Funeral" opening scene potty mouth alert.

"Sea of Stars"
Chapter 6
A Crack in the Wall part 2: Skating on Thin Ice

I knew this sense of peace wasn't going to last. Conflict and pain has always surrounded me, so I shouldn't be surprised when the quiet times end.

Also, I should realize that she couldn't be healed just like that. All I need to answer that is to look in the mirror. Poster boy for screwed up life, what makes me the resident expert on everything?

Sorry, ranting.

Actually, things went downhill when we reached the Caribbean Islands. It was had been going smooth (too smooth) until then.

The days leading up to setting sail were pretty frenzied. Relena helped in any way possible, getting more and more knowledgeable on how the ship works. She was also glad that the Mohlers, Dave and Anton were going to sail to South Pacific at the same time. She had become great friends with Mary, often walking or shopping with her after Mary gave her music lessons. And Dave, welll, he often accompanied the two women on their trips and could be found in the 'Sea of Stars' kitchen showing Relena recipes.

Then Disaster # 1.

Well, for me, it was a disaster.

An embarrassing disaster.

Remember the piano thing I mentioned? She found out.

Shit.

Looking back, I had set myself up for this disaster. The guys in Security were throwing Anton and I a going away party. I didn't mention it to Relena. I don't know why. I take that back, I do know why. What happened next is why. She had retired early that day, so I went out to the Rotunda to the little get together that I was conned into. Don't ask.

Even though I wasn't finished with my prescriptions (and you think I would learned my lesson in what happened in the Sanq Kingdom), I still partake of a few alcohol beverages.

OK, beer. I like beer.

After a few rounds, the guys managed to convince me to set down in front of the bar's baby grand and plunk out some tunes. I was under the influence of alcohol, meds and a bunch of drunken security types who somehow know how to push my buttons when I'm in this condition. Again, don?t ask. I wasn't worried; this wasn't my first performance to this crowd.

It was in the middle of 'Piano Man' when I noticed...Shit! Shit! Shit! How long had she been standing there? She moseyed (I cannot for the life of me think of another word to described how she moved) over where I was and sat next to me on the bench. She had one of those smirks she used to wear when she was about to ditch her security detail.

Did I mention, Shit?

"Well, Heero," She drawled. God, I felt like making a hasty retreat. That voice. "You keep unfolding like a flower. When did you learn how to play the piano? And sing?"

Shit, Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, and shit! She heard me sing? That means she's been here for about a an half an hour when I sang my last solo...

I must have been expressing my inner turmoil and surprise because she laughed and gave me a roguish grin. "?Fess up, Heero!"

FUCK!!!

Shit was getting old. I needed a new word.

I looked away from her. "I...I...don't recall, really. I guess I've always known."

She touched my shoulder, causing me to look at her. All the gaiety that was on her face was replaced with a solemn expression. "I'm sorry, Heero. I didn?t mean to hurt you."

My reply was cut off by Anton. "Here?s your beer, Heero. You better start playing or you're not gonna get any more free rounds. Here, Relena,' handing her a glass bottle. "Here's one for you." With a slap on my back that nearly sent me sliding on top of the piano, he walked off.

Relena took a sip then made a face. "How can you drink this? It tastes like...like..."

"Like piss?" I helpfully suggested.

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Yes, exactly. But how YOU know that it does, I don't really want to know." I smirked and she took another sip. Her face scrunched up again.

It was...cute.

Did I just say, cute? I can hear Mini-Duo's drunken laughter echoing from the back of mind.

"It is an acquired taste," I quipped.

"So how many beers does that take?"

I smiled at her and started to bang out the opening measures to 'I go to Extremes.' Billy Joel night. Yes, again, don't ask.

But I answered her. "I don't know how many, I haven't drank enough, yet. But I'll let you know when I get there."

I received her laughter as an answer.

I guess it turned out ok.

We packed the ship for the voyage and said our farewell three days later. The voyage started well. She was interested in everything in handling a yacht. I showed her the basics of navigation, communications, marlinspike, and sailing. I showed her the controls in the Pilothouse, and how to use the abbreviated holo controls and the wheel that was on top of the pilothouse. She even steered the ship a couple of times and released the sea anchor at night, making sure we were not anchored too close to the 'North Star' and the 'Southern Cross.' She soaked it up like a dry sponge.

Another thing that was unexpected but welcomed was her interest in my morning routine.

When I first came to the Seaweed Nations, I had little knowledge and little interest in martial arts. Wufei was the man to see about that. Yes I did know a little from several disciplines but nothing formal. So when an eleven-year-old karate student threw me during a demo, even though I was prepared to stop him, well, it made me think.

I signed up for several lessons that day eventually branching out to more disciplines. I even took Tai Chi. I quickly advanced many levels in Aikido, Karate, Kempo, and others.

Every morning at sunrise I would put on my gi and go through some of those lessons for a morning workout. She watched me for several days when I restarted my regime.

Finally she asked to be taught. I was glad at first; I've been trying to get her to learn self-defense for years. But she was almost...aggressive, pushing herself as far as she could go. I didn't think about it at the moment.

Then Disaster #2.

All of us decided to eat out at this pub on the Island of Puerto Rico. Some place with good food Dave had found. There we were, sitting around the table talking and eating, when Mary paled and stared behind me.

I whirled around to see the newscast being played on the overhead on the bar TV. It was a newsbreak. It was about Relena. They had a positive ID on her attacker via DNA samples. Furthermore, he was wanted for several more attacks and murders.

All women. His MO is to decide if they were worthy, then cut their wrists and allow them to die slowly.

Thank god Relena wasn't worthy.

They flashed his picture up, along with his name. I had the fucker's name. Daniel 'you're a fucking dead man' Halstine. I heard a gasp from Relena. I turned back to see her face go from tanned to white in a matter of seconds

Her eyes widened at the picture on the television. "It's him,? Relena breathed.

Party over.

I stood up, intentionally blocking Relena's view of the flashing screen. Everyone else joined me. Dave went to the bar to pay our bill. Anton waved for a taxi, then stuffed Relena and I inside.

We rode back to the harbor in silence. She clutched my hand so tightly I though she was going to break it.

I got her aboard the 'Sea of Stars.' Then...well I didn?t know what to do. She made the decision for me by saying she was going to bed. She went to her cabin and shut the door.

I could her the sobs.

I was left on the outside, with not a clue what to do.

I spent the next couple hours feverishly hacking and e-mailing. I contacted the other Gundam pilots and Colonel Une with some information I'd gathered. They told me (in no uncertain terms) to take care of Relena. They have everything under control.

Fuck!

I didn?t sleep that night.

The next morning Doll face Relena made her reappearance. This version had a snap to here voice. After a week of dealing with the self-absorbed, pitiful, pissy Relena- I was reaching my breaking point.

It takes fourteen hours to traverse the Panama Canal.

Fourteen hours of hell.

This time I broke first and wasn't pretty.

Sitting around doing nothing and watching Relena do nothing but stare at her water sneakers is far worst than sailing around and watching her. At least then I was occupied and could ignore her.

Fourteen hours of it broke me. I sailed to the port where we were all going to meet. I made dinner. I sat the plate in front of her and watch her stare ate it, again.

THAT'S IT!

Using my arm, I swept both her and my plates off the table. With a loud crash dinner decorated the linoleum and the hatchway door. Relena jumped off the barstool and started to back away from me, eyes wide in fear.

Yeah, you should fear me, doll face.

I stalked around the table and grabbed her by her shoulders. I then pushed her down into the couch.

It wasn?t a very wise thing to do. But, dammnit, she want to come here, I didn?t force her. This healing will be on my terms, and my terms are Strong-arm Physiology.

Mini-Duo was screaming that not everyone does well with brand of medicine. I shoved him into a corner of my mind so I didn?t have to hear him.

I started to pace, then stopped. I turned to face the shaking, tearstained Relena,

"What the fucking hell are you doing?" I growled, seething inside. 'Why do you let that asshole do this to you? Why do you let him WIN?" Her eyes widened but she didn?t say a word to me. "DAMNIT, ANSWER ME!!!!"

"He...He..." she stuttered.

"What-RAPED you? Outside taking your virginity from you, what did he really do to get you to turn into a robot? What has you REALLY terrified? Answer, THAT, Relena!"

I thought she would shake herself to pieces. But she answered. "He FORCED me to give away my virginity to him!" The last words were spat out. Fear was leaving and anger was showing.

Good. I can handle an angry Relena. "No. He took you CONTROL. Rape is control..."

She broke through my tirade, standing up. She was still shaking, but her fists were clenched in rage. "How the hell do you know? You?re not a shrink!"

"Why do you think you're the only one who has been raped, whose be through that?" I snapped back leaning towards her, making use of my six foot height. "You don't have the corner market on that kind of fear and humiliation..."

Oh god- what am I saying? No one knows this- I don?t want this out.

Damn. True to my description of her, she put two and two together and got...

"Oh, god, Heero," she gasped, anger fleeing from her eyes. "You?"

I turned to retreat, stomping off. I didn?t want her to know. I didn?t want to discuss this. I wanted to leave it where it was in the back of my mi...

She stopped me. With a touch of her hand, she stopped me. How can she do that?

"Tell me Heero, please." She wrapped her arms around my waist, her head between my shoulder blades. "The best thing you have done for me is making me talk about it. Please Heero, follow your own advice."

Hell...

"I was eleven, I think. It was after Odin was killed and I started to work for Project Meteor." She knew this much about my past; Odin and Dr. J. My voice changed to my classic monotone. "They...They needed information from this politician. He had a fetish for little boys. I went and let him...? My voice broke a little but I continued. "Let him have his way with me and when he slept, I crawled out of the bed, got the information and left."

She started sobbing. "Oh Heero, you were just a child. How could they prostitute you?" Her voice got harder through the sobs. "What a FUCKING monster! What happened to him?"

"Six months later, I put a bullet through his forehead."

I took a deep breath and turned to face her. "Look, Relena, I have never been a child. I have as long as I remember been a soldier, an assassin. I knew what was going to happen if I took that mission. I could have refused and ran away but...? Why didn't I? I thought for a moment. "But I know is my duty, my mission. There was no emotion for me to express, I didn?t feel it."

Liar! The girl, the puppy. But that was later, much later.

She gasped and starred at me, wide-eyed. "You have emotions-"

I interrupted. "I know, but I...suppressed them, like I was trained to do." who trained you? Odin? No. "I still repress them, but I?m learning. I?m angry about it now but back then...? I took a shuddering breath.

I don?t want to be here I don?t want to talk to her I don?t want to discuss this, retreat.

"Look, I?m going to take a walk. We'll...we'll talk later."

I fled.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I spent two hours wandering the streets aimlessly. I thought if I got away for a while I could think of something to fix this. That was not happening. My temper cooled, though. However I knew there will be a round two when I returned. I couldn't avoid it. This time, it will be about the both of us.

When I stepped into the living quarters, I noticed that dinner was cleaned up. I also noticed that her door was closed. I took a deep breath and went forward into battle, praying I would come out unscathed this time. I doubt it. I went up to Relena's door and knocked.

"Done sulking," was the muffled reply

"Apparently you're not," I snapped back. My anger was on the rise, again.

Ding, ding round two, anyone?

She threw open the door. Relena glared at me, hands on hips, and anger storming on her face. "WELL, I can do ANYTHING you can do. After all, we share SIMILAR experiences."

The sarcasm in her voice proved what I suspected. Bitchy Relena had finally made her appearance. I could deal with her, too.

I think.

"Good," I shot back. "Now we can agree that I might have SOME CLUE what I'm an talking about, MAYBE we can get back to the topic." I was determined not to have this focused on me. "You're angry that he took your control from you."

Her eyes narrowed. "At least I didn't VOLUNTEER myself to be a whore. I didn?t ask for this Heero." She crossed her arms and took a step past the threshold of her cabin door. "But, you-YOU allowed it to happen."

I growled back. "What the hell was I supposed to do, I was a...? I stopped myself. What was I?

Sensing the advantage, she took several steps forward forcing me to backpedal into the bulkhead. I know that my eyes were wide in surprise and Relena gleefully took the upper hand.

"What?? You were a CHILD? You told me that you were NEVER a child. Make up your mind, Heero Yuy."

I gaped. My mind went blank. What was I? I...I couldn't answer that. I had no way to explain why I did what I did, and she knew it.

"You know what I think," she said, her voice low. She accentuated each word with a finger poking my chest. "I think you WANTED it to happen. I think you wanted to feel something any thing. Pain. Because you think you are this cold unfeeling soldier and wanted to prove to yourself that you were not. So you became Project Meteor?s little whore using the excuse that it part of the MISSION. Did it make you feel real Heero?"

Is she ...right? I didn?t know the answer to this. But my anger flared bright white. Emotionless whore, am I? "I am so SICK of your fucking preaching, Relena. Because you are God's gift to Peace makes you always right? All it has done is BRAINWASH you into thinking that you are INFALLIBLE. NO ONE could come and touch your glory. Then this bastard takes that power away from you in fell swoop."

I pushed her violently against the opposite bulkhead. By god, if I'm going down, she 's coming with me.

bitch.

"Now you're not perfect. You lost power and you cannot accept it. So you lash out on others to make yourself feel SUPERIOR to you. You are so used to being in the center of everyone's universe, controlling everything, only to find you are just like the rest of us." I had an idea. I leaned up against her, our noses almost touching. "How does it feel that one man can take that control away, Relena? Is that why I was fired, huh? That I wouldn't take your bullshit and wearing your ability to be in control down?" I though I heard Duo's voice say to LOSE control. " Did you feel helpless Relena? Did you feel afraid? Did you feel human?"

Her eyes widened, and then narrowed.

A point for the home team. The score was tied.

I smirked. She pushed me away and I let her. I knew what she was going to do next and I let her. After all, she hurt me; I 'm the Perfect Soldier.

"You FUCKING bastard!" She screamed and her fist connected to my eye and nose.

My over-confidence was misleading. All that workout she had been doing over the last couple of weeks had paid off. I fell against the bulkhead with a bang and slid down, dizzy. I could feel the blood leaking out of my nose and pain around the eye socket.

I would thought she would stomp off. But, like me, there are habits even anger could not erase. Hers was taking care of me whenever I got hurt. Though, this was first time I got hurt directly from her.

"Oh, god, Heero," she fluttered. There is no other way I could describe what she was doing. "Stay here. Don?t move." I wasn?t planning to, Relena.

She ran to the head a returned less than a minute later with towels (some wet) and the first aid kit. She knelt beside me and gently wiped my face.

"Come on Heero, let's get out of the passageway." She stood and opened the door to my cabin. After helping me up and helping me lie down flat on my back on the bed, she scampered to the kitchen. She returned quickly, with a baggy full of ice, a glass of water and aspirin.

Relena sat next to me and continued to clean my face. "I hope it doesn?t scar, " she murmured.

"Vat Scarb?" Was my intelligent-sounding question.

"I cut you above the right eye." She answered, holding up her hand and pointing out the gemstone ring on her finger. Ah. That's why I was still bleeding after my nosebleed had stopped. "I am so stupid for hitting you like that."

"I probably deserved it after what I said,? I mumbled, wincing in pain at her attempts to clean my face. I could feel the right side of my face slowly inflating. "Nice right hook, by the way." I added.

She smiled. "A compliment about my fighting ability. Thanks Heero. Coming from you, that says a lot."

I think it was a compliment.

"Why do we do this to each other?" She continued. "We are so good at hurting each other but we loath to be away from each other."

I shrugged, then hissed when she placed the ice on my eye. "Glutton for punishment, perhaps?" I answered. I got a smile in return. "I don?t know. I could have said what I did in a nicer way; sugar-coat it?"

Her nose scrunched up. "You. Sugar-coat? God Heero that's not you. The first weeks with you, when you were so polite and nice, I thought aliens had kidnapped you and replaced you with a pod person." She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. "No, this is more like it. Except, now I know how to hit." She smiled. "You can?t sugar-coat and quite frankly I can?t stand it. I hear it from politicians and professionals and over-zealous brothers everyday. I like your brand of honesty. Though, I could live without the physical violence." She grinned. "After all, I'm the 'Dove of Peace.'"

"So we agree to disagree?" I hedged. I was glad we were talking. I was surprised and even gladder that she liked our fights.

"No," she answered. "We agree that both of us, despite different backgrounds and public behaviors, are the most stubborn people on the planet. We agree we are both control freaks. We may have different ways of dealing with our loss of control, but we both agree that they are major issues still in our lives. And finally, we agree we can?t move on until we deal with this...thing...between us."

"Thing?"

"Thing."

"Would you quantify that, Relena?"

"I would but then I would haveta kill ya, Mr. Yuy."

"hn...bitch."

"Ass."

We stared at each other then started to laugh.

"God, Heero. We are so sick!" she snickered.

"hn. I wonder what the adoring public would think if they knew that the Vice-Foreign Minister had a filthy mouth."

She gave me a roguish grin. "That's not the only thing I have that's filthy."

God. I am so dead. Mini-Duo was laughing his head off. Shit! And I didn?t know why. But what a way to go, the Mini-Duo snickered.

"Hey, you guys awake?" Our thoughts were interrupted with the appearance of Anton and Dave's faces in my cabin. "Hey there you are! Chris and Mary went some fancy restaurant, their Anniversary or something, and we wanted to know if... What the hell happened to you, Heero?" Anton's voice was very loud in my ears. I winced.

Relena and I looked at each other guiltily.

"Oh never mind. Relena, sweetie, could you move that cute butt for me?" Dave asked briskly. Well, his version of briskly. She obediently got up off the bed. "Your pupils are the same, no concussion. God, what it cut! I hope it doesn't mar those handsome looks of yours,? he said after removing the ice pack. "We came over to see if you have eaten yet." I must have looked guilty because he shook his head and let out a dramatic sigh. "Anton, babe, could you go and get the beef stock in the frig. It's on the second shelf. Oh, and get the fresh bread that was just pulled from the oven. It should be cool now. And get the blue bottle out of the medicine cabinet. The one I take when that bitch Devin calls to show off his latest cooking trophy. And, oh, Relena, sweetie, could you be a dear and go with him? Other wise Anton might squish the bread." He winked at Anton.

Anton stuck his tongue out at Dave but they both nodded and left me with him. Alone. In my cabin. With the man who has made it clear he wants me. On my bed. I don't need this.

Dave rummaged through the abandoned first aid kit, pulling out some antiseptic cream, gauze, and medical tape. "Oh, stop fidgeting, Heero. I'm not going to jump your bones." The surprise must have been on my face, for he answered, "I can firmly grasp the concept that you are clearly heterosexual."

He placed a dollop of the cream in the middle of the gaze square and placed it on my cut. It felt cold. I felt confused. Have I always read him wrong? "Then why do you always flirt with me?"

He chuckled, ripping a piece of tape off the roll. "'Cause, I like to watch you squirm. It's so cute." He gently smoothed the tape over the gauze, making sure it adhered to my skin. "Why should care Heero? Why should it bother you so? I never picked you as a homophobic." He ripped another piece of tape off.

Am I? Why is everything suddenly revolving around me? No. Despite what happened to me in my past, I am not homophobic. Hell, I roomed with Anton for months after he told me he was interested in sleeping with me. But Anton doesn?t...act gay, while Dave acts like a...like a...girl.

"Ow." He had surprised me by placing another piece of tape on the gauze.

"Do you know why I act the way I do, Heero?" He tossed the supplies back in the kit and latched the lid firmly in place. "To be honest, I?m not really sure of my place in this world, or my sexuality. You and Anton are very confidant of who you are and what you are, you make me jealous, sometimes."

If he said that yesterday, I would agree, but today has been a nerve-rattling day.

Dave cocked his head at me. "You want to know a secret, Heero Yuy? Anton isn?t as confidant in himself as he puts on. He wears that self-assurance like a facade that hides his insecurities. Like I use my 'Openly Gay' facade to hide mine. In order to see behind that barrier, you need to give trust. In other words, you can?t trust a person unless they trust you. It's a vicious circle. Sometimes the awards are worth the risk bearing your soul, sometimes not." He grinned at me. "As for me, I like my facade. And I rather not get hurt. That?s why I am the way I am."

I learned more about Dave in the last ten minutes than in the last two years. I think he's hinting at something, maybe several things. Stuff about his relationship with Anton, may be trying to help me with Relena. Is he saying Relena has put up a facade? Did I? Or is it a wall?

What the hell am I talking about?

Dave stood up, hands on his hips. "Oh don?t be so gloomy. You've got a woman who can knock you flat on your ass-literally and figurative." Huh? "You'll figure it out eventually,? He crossed his arms. "Or you both will kill each other. Either way, I've got great seats to the show."

Ok, Relena must have hit me really hard, because I have no clue what he is saying.

He shook his head, finger spread across his face, eyes closed. "You are a little dense aren't you? Never mind." He brought his hand down. "Awesome left hook."

At least I knew that was about. "It was a right,? I answered, a little proud.

"Oh yes, the ring." He noticed. Dave is very observant, I'm finding out.

"Dave," I smirked, sitting up against the headboard. "You have more layers than a onion."

He nose wrinkled, but he gave me an answering smirk. "I prefer cakes, myself. Unless its Vidalia onions."

We sat in companionably in silence until the sound of the hatch shutting and Zero barking alerted us to the return of Relena and Anton.

The conversation at dinner was animated. Even I occasionally joined the fray, talking through the headache. I had a lot to think about, but I put it aside for a good night with good friends and excellent food. Dave can certainly cook. Anton and Dave were concerned about my ability to pilot 'Sea of Stars' out the harbor. So did I. They had agreed to have Anton stay aboard for the six days to South Pacific, but I deterred. I told them Relena could do it. It wasn?t Sydney or New York, but I was confident she could do the job.

"No" answered the repeated offer. "Thank you, but no. I know Relena can do the job."

Relena just stared at me.

They left hours later. They finally noticed that I was finally feeling the throb in my head. I took the medicine Dave left for me and retired. But I couldn?t sleep. The day kept repeating itself without any resolution. There was no resolution, I think. First we were screaming at each other then I run away. Then I come back and we are screaming at each other and she then hits me. Dave plays nurse and I get a glimpse behind the flat 'flaming gay man' stereotype I made him out to be. Relena and I stop screaming at each other, with no discernable reason. I don't know what happened, and that was the worse thing about it all.

So Here I was at night, curled on my side staring at the bulkhead in the moonlit cabin, when there was a knock at my door. "Heero, are you awake?" Was Relena's muffled voice.

I hesitated before replying. Oh hell, Heero why not? "hn. Come in." I answered softly.

She closed the door behind her. I heard the scuffling of bare feet on the thick blue carpet and then the bed dipped with her weight.

I didn?t move to look at her. Quite frankly, she was disturbing my thoughts and in wanted her to leave as quickly as possible.

"Heero."

"hn."

"Busy day."

There?s the understatement of the year. "hn."

"I cant...cant sleep. I?ve been thinking. I guess I owe you an apology. You were right, of course, that I'm a control freak."

"No,? I mumbled. "You?re right. We are both control freaks. But in wasn?t thinking of that? Why did in say that? Its none of her business what I was thinking about, right? Right? What is wrong with me? "I was think about the 'thing.'"

"What 'thing?'"

I rolled to my back. She was sitting on the bed. Her toes grasping the blanket. "The 'thing' you mentioned. The one you said that was between us."

"OH." She paused. "Have you figured it out?"

I sighed. "No." We sat silent in the darkness. "Why did you come to my cabin?" I finally asked.

"Well, uhm, I just needed to reconnect with you, to see if you weren?t still angry and apologize..."

She was babbling. There was an 'and' behind that run-on sentence. "And?" I pressed.

"What and?"

"And-this is the real reason you came in here, Relena."

"Uhm, well, I wanted to ask, uhm...? She sounded flustered. "Well, why are you letting me pilot 'Sea of Stars' tomorrow?"

"Why, don?t you want to? Or do you think you aren?t capable?"

"No, NO! I thought uhm, I want to, of course, but I ...uhm."

I found her hand in the darkness. "Relena, I trust you,? Dave?s words came to haunt me. Well the ones I could understand. "I know you can do it."

I heard her sniffles. Great. I made her cry, again. But unlike the other times, apparently it was good. She flopped down on the bed. She then snuggled up next to me, laying her head on my shoulder. I could feel her tears on my bare chest. "Thank you, Heero," she sniffled.

I sighed. I guess she's here for the night. I adjusted the blankets so she was underneath them. She soon fell asleep, her hand splayed on my chest and her head tuck on my shoulder.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and placed the other one over her hand that was between my pectorals. I don?t what?s going on, again. This project was rapidly spinning out of control-my control. But was that really a bad thing, I mused. I sighed, playing with her hair glowing softly in the moonlight. My mind drifted, my heart bet slowed in time with her breathing. The sounds of the gently lapping water lulled me towards sleep.

My last thoughts before in joined her was, regardless of everything, this moment was perfect.


END OF CHAPTER

Could somebody tell me how to spell Hilde's name right? I've packed all my Gundam referances.

*******
Glossary-

Marlinspike--the art of ropes and wires; caring of, tying, spicing and the like.

R&R pleez!!!!

heh.Read this on FFnet and liked it pretty well too.I wanna know just who's the victim that made the mistake'o raping Relena.

Why victim?

Cause he better hope the others find him before Zechs or Heero do.

WOW.

Again, I have been blown away. Perhaps its becuase it is very late, and I've very tired, BUT...I'm still in love with this story!

Your Heero! I want to wrap him up and take him home. He's so cute! Piano? Dog??? *grins* But he's still Heero, and he still has his past.

Wonderful job again. Must read the rest....but right now? I need to sleep. Can't wait to find out what happens! The plot twists are great.

Yay! This story keeps getting better and better. I'm going to scamper off now to read the rest. Peace out!

YAY!! i love this story i love heero .. i like his personality in this one not too far from the original one.. keep it up !!

I'm moving this to the front in preparness for the next chapter