Don't Push Me Away - Chapter 11 [part 1] (4xR) AU
Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2003 2:03 pm
Don't Push Me Away
by Neon Fantasy
Disclaimer: Don't own the charcaters from GW, as usual the same disclaimer applies.
Chapter 11 (Part 1)
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" --- " - Speaking
' --- ' - Thinking
"I'm sorry Relena, as much as I would love to give you a better mark, I'm afraid that if you don't do any practicals then you would have to put up with these bare passing grades until you do some, theory work is not enough," Mrs. Baker explained as she went back to marking another classes assignments. Relena couldn't hide the fact that she was upset about her grade for the term but she did understand why she did so badly, it wasn't her Music teacher's fault after all; she was only doing this to herself. Nodding her thanks to Mrs. Baker, Relena slowly exited the classroom and began slowly walking down the empty corridor.
It was the last day of term today; their school had been dismissed at lunch time because of it. Looking out the windows to her right as she walked down the corridor, Relena saw hardly any students around, everyone was probably anxious to get out of this place as soon as possible to begin the summer vacation right away. Sighing to herself, Relena started thinking back at her term results. She had received A's in practically every subject, causing her to literally double over at the shock of it, since she hadn't received grades like that for years now. Although, she couldn't take all the credit, no correction, she couldn't take any credit for them since it was all thanks to Quatre's tutoring skills.
Turning her head up to look at the white ceiling, Relena figured that Quatre might want to know about her grades, he deserved to know about them after all, probably to see if his time wasted on her actually paid off or not. What will he say about her Music grade though? That was the only subject she did pretty poor in, she had only just passed the term and that was not good on her part. From all of the subjects she studies, Music 'use' to be her best subject, she always excelled in that class ever since she started high school. Even in primary school, teachers would comment on her musical talents... too bad it couldn't last though. Lowering her head down to the carpet now, memories began flooding back into her mind again, memories she hoped would last... forever.
******Flashback******
Ending the last note of her song, the girl lowered the microphone from her mouth as she closed her eyes and listened into the music playing behind her as it began to die down slowly, from the drums and guitar players, through to the keyboard and it was over. Looking up from the stage to the person sitting in front of them, the woman pressed stop on her tape recorder and couldn't resist getting up from her seat to applaud their performance with great enthusiasm.
"Great work you guys. Excellent, simply brilliant. Another top mark for you all I'm sure, I will have to listen through the tape again though, just to be precise with my marking but once again, great work!" The woman praised repeatedly as the band began packing their things.
"Thanks Mrs. Baker, I'm glad you liked it!" The girl with long honey blonde hair replied as she smiled brightly at her teacher.
"Oh I love hearing you perform Relena; your voice is simply remarkable. You sing from the heart I can tell," Mrs. Baker smiled as she picked up her note book and the tape recorder sitting beside her, she continued, "I will let you all finish up here, I trust you will close the door behind you who ever leaves last alright?" Noticing the nods from the five students, Mrs. Baker nodded back and headed out the door.
Relena continued to smile as she placed the microphone back on the stand and turned to look over her left shoulder at the electric guitar player a couple of metres away from her. Watching his movements closely, she watched as he began pulling the cords out from behind his guitar and went to place it from the case it came from. Her eyes softened as she watched him put his guitar away, although it wasn't going unnoticed by the guitar player either.
Laying the lid of the case over his guitar, he turned his prussian eyes towards Relena and raised an eyebrow at her asking, "Is something wrong?"
"Hm? Oh, no nothing," Relena replied cheekily as she went to help the others pack the rest of the equipment away, causing Heero to look at her suspiciously.
"There we go!! All done," the keyboard player called out as she raised her fist high up over her head in triumph.
"Good, I really want to get home now," the drummer replied as he picked up his school bag beside the stage and started heading towards the door.
"Hey! Wait up!" The bass guitarist said as he rushed to get his bag as well. Looking over to the keyboard player he said, "Come on Marie, we need to go too."
Mariemaia looked to the bass guitarist and whined, "Geez, ok, ok. You are just as bad as Alex, Mueller." Stepping off the stage, Mariemaia grabbed her own bag and jogged over to where Alex and Mueller were waiting for her.
Just as she reached them, she smiled and turned to face Relena and Heero saying, "See you later!" As usual, both didn't say a word to her so shrugging it off she ran out the door to reach Alex and Mueller since they weren't waiting for her if she didn?t hurry.
Once she was gone, Relena hopped off the stage herself and went to her bag and started searching through it for something. Heero busied himself with picking up a few stray cords which were lying about on the stage still but once he finished doing that, he saw nothing else that needed to be cleared up. Looking around for Relena, Heero noticed her on the floor by the stage and went to go see what she was doing.
Watching her rummage through her bag, he heard her mutter a few curses under her breath before she spoke out loud, "Dammit! I must have left it at home..."
"Left what?" Heero asked.
"I wanted to show you another song I was working on. Geez, I knew I was forgetting something this morning. Dammit!!" Relena then went off in a little rage at herself while Heero just stood there staring at her blankly, although her cursing were beginning to get on his nerves though.
"You can always show me later," Heero replied, sitting him self down on one of the many rows of chairs which were in the music room.
"But I wanted to show you now..." Relena whined, allowing her self to get into another fit. Heero sighed to himself and wondered sometimes if she could ever be quiet for at least five minutes of her life. Watching her walk around in circles going on about god knows what, Heero stared at her in deep thought. He had to admit that she was a strong girl; playing along with everyone else's expectations of her and making it appear as though she was 'happy'. He had known her long enough to know that something was hurting her but could never get her to speak out what was troubling her so much... What did he have to do to make her say something? To show her that people did really did care...?
Sighing in frustration, Relena still cursed herself for her forgetfulness but then, she brightened up suddenly when a thought just crossed her. Turning to face Heero, she noticed him sitting down by one of the chairs and smiled sweetly at him. Rushing up to him she knelled down on her knees in front of him and leaned her arms on his lap, causing Heero to snap out of his thoughts at the feel of her touch.
"Hey Heero, do you think you could come over so I can sing it to you then?" Relena asked excitedly, causing Heero to stare at her blankly. Noticing his lack of response, Relena tilted her head off to the side a little and added, "Um, you know, my song? The one I had in my black note book which I forgot to bring today?" Observing his reaction to that remark, she grew a little curious with the way he was suddenly behaving. He still had that emotionless expression over his face but his eyes told another story. The glint in his eyes was something Relena had never seen before; they looked so warm and, loving at the moment.
Just as Relena opened her mouth to ask Heero about that, she was shocked to suddenly feel Heero's lips pressed firmly against hers in a deep kiss. Relena's eyes widened at that moment, never had she even considered this ever happening to her; especially not between her and Heero, how could it? She had known him for so long now that, it almost seemed? wrong. Pulling away from him slightly, Relena looked deep into his eyes in confusion and asked, "?Heero? Wh-"
"Relena," Heero interrupted as he raised his hands up to her cheeks, "Let me? help you?" Heero murmured as her rested his forehead against hers. Relena stared at him blankly at that moment, as though his words had just suddenly struck something within her soul. Her eyes turned glassy at that moment, tears were forming in her eyelids and she was determined to not let them fall. But his soft, deep gaze on her was not allowing her to try and hide anything anymore, it seemed as though he was searching her soul for a sign, something to reveal what he knew was there but... could not see it on his own.
Relena didn't want that, she couldn't let this get to her, she couldn't. Rising up from the ground slowly, she was surprised to suddenly feel Heero?s hands grab hold of her arms. Gazing at her softly, Heero pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her back, hugging her to his chest. Relena's defenses dropped at that moment as she let her tears cascade down her cheeks, weeping quietly to herself as pressed her head against Heero?s school shirt.
She didn?t know how long she had been crying but she felt so ashamed of herself at the moment, feeling so helpless and being at the mercy of Heero. Just as she raised her head up from his shirt, she looked up at him sadly and watched as he raised his hand up to her face, brushing away a tear gently as he did so. Why was he even caring? She had never seen him do such a thing before, why a sudden change of heart? Or was he just taking pity on her? She couldn?t speak; she didn?t have the energy to even try since she had spent it all on balling her eyes out just now.
At that moment though, Heero lowered his head down towards hers once more and gently brushed his lips against hers. Relena reacted slightly to his touch and began kissing him back. His kiss deepened as he held her close, while one arm stayed hooked around her back, another slowly drifted up to the back of her neck, wanting to kiss her more passionately. Relena?s hands rested on Heero?s shoulders but, unknown to him, tears were slowly beginning to flow down her eyelids once more. She was helpless and uncertain to what was going on with her, but one thing was for certain, she felt comforted by Heero at this moment and needed him right now? she needed his strength.
******End of Flashback******
It almost seemed ironic, even during that time three years ago, that was during her so called, 'happy days'. Even then she was a total mess of emotions; she had hardly changed since then either. Looking down at her watch, her eyes widened at what the time read. It was half past one; she should have met up with Duo and the others half an hour ago! Dashing down the corridor, Relena made a sharp turn to the area where the school office was and headed down another corridor to reach the exit of the main building.
She didn?t realize time went by so quickly; did she really talk to her music teacher about her grade for around thirty minutes!? She knew she was in for it now, she could picture the annoyed faces on Duo and everyone else when she were to eventually show up, if they were still at the car park that was.
Just as she raced around the corner, she was shocked to suddenly bump into some thing? or more specifically some one. Gasping as she fell forward, she felt herself fall on top of the person she bumped into and immediately assumed it to be a teacher since she was around the office area after all. Quickly raising her head to who she assumed it to be a teacher she frantically replied, "Oh god! Please forgive me! I am so sorry, I-"
Stopping mid-sentence, she felt the person's hands reach over her arms and heard them reply, ?Miss Relena, are you alright?? Relena?s eyes widened at the familiar voice and felt her cheeks redden as the person lifted their head to look at her.
Gazing down at him, Relena gasped and apologized, ?Q-Quatre! Oh my god, I?m so sorry!? Quatre just smiled and propped himself up on his elbows as he raised his back off the ground slightly. He assumed to think that Relena was going to get off at him at that moment but as he rose his back off the ground slightly, his eyes widened when he noticed his face only an inch or so away from Relena's face. Quatre's cheeks tinted pink at that moment; losing his will to speak in the process as he gazed into Relena's eyes. Relena stared into his at that moment, only having it occur to her just now that Quatre was probably waiting for her to actually get off him. Blushing in embarrassment, Relena quickly got to her feet and wanted to back away from him to give him some space but suddenly tripped up on Quatre's feet and suddenly fell backwards onto the carpet.
Quatre got himself into sitting position instantly and wanted to ask Relena if she was alright but as he looked at her, his eyes suddenly drifted some where down her form and suddenly went as red as a tomato. Relena sat herself up at that moment and brushed some of the carpet fluff off her black blazer and smoothed her short grey skirt down once more as she rose up from the ground. Quatre followed her example of getting off the carpet but his face was still bright red, he couldn't look at Relena at the moment, not when he saw more then he had expected to when he watched Relena fall to the ground. Now he could understand why Duo always went on about how good female?s uniform were, the whole ideal of almost being able to look up them if girls weren't careful. How could he allow himself to stoop down to that level?
Relena looked at him quizzically just now and said, "Sorry about that Quatre I.... Hey, are you ok?" Quatre jumped at that moment and tried shaking his head out of the imprinted image of Relena?s underwear out of his head as he stammered, "Y-yes, of course... I um, I came to go find you s-since everyone is um; waiting so we b-better go ok? Good, let's go." Quatre hastily made his way towards the exit while Relena raised an eyebrow at his strange behaviour. Not having the time to question it she ran to catch up to him, 'Geez he is a pretty fast walker.'
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Noticing Quatre and Relena approaching them, Duo smirked and said, "Well look who finally decides to show up!"
Hilde glared at him and slapped him over the head saying, "Don't be so rude! I am sure Relena has a good reason as to why she was late."
"Hi!!!" Mariemaia yelled out as she waved at them frantically as they approached their group, "What took you so long Rellie?"
"I'm sorry; I went to see Mrs. Baker about my grade..." Relena replied, causing Quatre to look over at her in curiosity.
"Ah ok, all good, all good. Well, let's get shopping!!! We have a lot to get for my party in a couple of weeks!!!" Mariemaia said as she jumped around excitedly.
"Yeah, we only have around four or so hours until the most of the shops will close so we better get moving," Duo replied. Just as he was about to go to his car he looked over his shoulder at the girls and replied, "Hehe, how about coming with me for the ride ladies?"
Mariemaia shook her head and replied, "I wanna ride with Mueller!" Looking over at him sweetly she wrapped her arms around his and leaned her head on his shoulder, causing him to smile at her.
"Ah well, I am sure Hil and Rel wouldn't mind coming with me then," Duo said.
"But what about Quatre!" Mariemaia shrieked, causing Quatre to look at her blankly.
"Um, I will be alright Miss Mariemaia. It is only a short drive there an-"
"No it is NOT alright!" Mariemaia interrupted, "You won't have anyone to talk to!" Turning her gaze to Relena she grinned widely and pointed to her saying, "You go ride with him Relena, to keep him company and all."
It sounded more like a demand more then anything else from Relena's point of view but she obeyed and slowly nodded, looking over to Quatre as she did so. Although she couldn't help but notice him looking slightly, tense at the moment. She could assume that he was still probably annoyed at her for being so clumsy earlier on. Unknown to her though, that was definitely not the case.
"Well fine, I can be generous," Duo replied. Wrapping his arm around Hilde's shoulders he winked and said, "Well, guess it's just you and me babe."
Snorting at him she replied, "Hmph, you wish, Alex is coming with us too you know. Since I assume Mariemaia and Mueller want to be... alone."
"He can go with Quatre and Relena can't he?" Duo pouted teasingly.
"No!! I would much prefer it if he went with you Duo!" Mariemaia blurted out, causing everyone to look at her blankly. Slapping her hand over her mouth she just shrugged and nudged Mueller towards his car, not wanting to be questioned over her course of car partners just now. Duo, Alex and Hilde watched her suspiciously but decided to drop it as they headed towards Duo's car.
"Just follow us ok Quatre?" Duo called out to him as he waved and got into his car, with Hilde getting into the front passenger seat and Alex at the back.
Quatre nodded and turned to Relena saying, "Well, shall we go?" Relena turned her gaze towards his and instantly their collision in the main building came to mind again, along with him accidentally looking up her skirt as well. Shaking his head to clear those thoughts he couldn't help but blush again as he quickly headed towards his car, causing Relena to look at him blankly but went to follow after him.
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While Quatre was keeping up with Duo's car as they drove towards some traffic lights, Quatre looked over at Relena briefly and noticed her to be staring out the passenger side window. They hadn't spoken a word to each other once they got into the car and Quatre's nerves weren't calming down because of it either.
"Miss Relena," Quatre said, causing her to look over at him, "Earlier on you said that you went to see Mrs. Baker about your grade for the term... what was wrong with it exactly?"
Relena flinched slightly at his question, it didn't occur to her until now that her grades basically reflected off his tutoring for her so, her seeing the teacher about her grade didn't look too good on his part. Why did she have a habit of blurting things out without thinking before hand about the consequences? Duo's and Mariemaia's bluntness seems to be rubbing off on her a bit now.
"Well? Nothing really, my theory work is fine but, it's my practicals which have been holding me down. Since I haven't been doing them...," Relena murmured.
Quatre didn't reply, he had to admit that they hadn't done very much work on music compared to her other subjects so, maybe they should start focusing on that now. There was still one thing he pondered about that though, ever since he had started coming to their school, he had never once seen Relena do any practicals in music and he really had no idea what instrument she actually learned. If he were to help her, he would need to know what she learned before hand. Luckily he had an undying love for music so what ever she did, he was almost certain that he could help her since he was familiar with most instruments, only that the piano and the violin were his favourites.
"What instrument do you learn Miss. Relena?"
"I don't learn an instrument... I, I do vocals..."
Quatre's eyes widened at the mention of vocals, 'She sings!?' He had to admit that he was shocked at first, however the more he thought about it; the more it appeared to be the right thing for her to do. Being as sensitive and secretive as she was, singing would do her good to express her emotions through her lyrics and escape from reality as she lost herself to the sweet melodies of music in the background. He was very anxious to hear her sing now. As strange as it seemed, he could actually picture her with a very beautiful voice and from all the subjects they had, he wouldn't mind spending nights upon nights helping her with it if that meant getting the opportunity to hear her sing. "I would love to hear you sing sometime Miss Relena."
Flinching at the mention of that, she turned to look at Quatre sadly before saying, "I don't think so."
"Why is that?"
"Because I'm not any good," Relena replied, looking down at the ground as she said this.
Now this didn't make any sense to him. It was their last year of school so, she wouldn't have made it this far to do the subjects she does now without being good at them from the previous years, which included music too. How could she claim to say that she wasn't any good if she made this far? She must love singing if she continues to do it, after all, it wasn't hard to change classes if you weren't satisfied with it or if you weren't interested enough to keep going. She did dedicate herself since her theory work was always set at high standards and she did this on her own without any help from him so, why didn't she ever do practicals? She would be just as equally good at them as she was with theory right?
"... I will be the judge of that," Quatre finally replied, causing Relena to turn to him in question, "I will decide for myself if whether or not you are good Miss Relena. You can't say that you are bad when I haven't even heard you sing yet." Softening his gaze, he smiled sweetly at her and replied, "Besides, I can't picture you not having a wonderful voice, I think you are just being modest."
Relena couldn't help but smile slightly at that, she had to admit that she did like singing a lot but her heart wasn't into it anymore, the more she tried singing, the worse she got. She was tempted to tell Quatre that he actually has heard her sing, that day at the park when he first came to their school but no, no one should have heard that song and she felt too embarrest to admit that, that was her. Her voice was shocking since it kept cracking as she tried voicing out her lyrics and she had no passion to put any positive emotion into it either, it had nothing but sadness in it.
Watching Relena from the corner of his eye, he took notice of her body language as she turned to look out the window again and noticed that something was bothering her right now. It wasn't hard to figure out that it had something to do with her singing, but what? There was so much about her that he still couldn't figure out and it was beginning to get harder and harder for him to not scream out at her to tell him what was wrong with her. But no, he wasn't about to pry into her personal life if she wasn't going to willingly tell him herself. Did she understand that he would always be willing to listen to her if she ever did feel like talking? He thought that spending a bit of time with her would help her feel that there were people out there who did care but, how long can he keep being with her like this knowing she was feeling so much pain...
"Have you, ever had a dream Quatre?" Relena suddenly said, still keeping her gaze out the window.
Looking at her blankly for a while before turning his vision back to the road he replied, "... Yes, I did."
"Have you ever felt as though your dream could never come true?"
"Not could, it will never come true. Not for me anyway..." Quatre replied sadly, causing Relena to look up at him in question.
Sighing to himself, he figured that he better give this information to her since he, felt as though this had something to do with her not singing, "... I, I have always had a passion for music. When I was a child, I loved playing all different types of instruments, I had an obsession with trumpets when I was around seven but it got a little too noisy for my father's likings so I found love in the violin and eventually the piano as well," Smiling slightly at that, he continued, "I wanted to be a musician. Anyone who listened to me play always complimented me on how well I played so it gave me all the more encouragement to do it."
"... So, what happened?"
"My father deciding to make me the next heir to our translation company is what happened. I had no say about it either; I had to always spend my free time with him at the company so that I could learn from him how everything worked. Music was never meant to be my career in life, I could do so much better then that with the knowledge I have acquired, or so my father says. My dreams were shattered right before my eyes, and the irony to that was that they were my dreams and someone else had the power to destroy them... If I were to have a change in heart, I would have preferred to be the one to control what I did with my life, not have someone else run it for me."
Relena stared at him in total shock, she never assumed that Quatre's life was set out and planned the way his father wanted it to be. She always assumed that Quatre wanted to do the things he did because he never showed any signs of negativity towards what he did in general. Was this the same for Dorothy too? It didn't seem right; she thought... she was the only one who had her life controlled by her parents. Even her dreams were shattered before her on more then one occasion, her parents didn't approve and just when she thought she had someone to stand by her to support what she did, they shattered her hopes as well.
******Flashback******
Hearing the sounds of the audience applaud her performance, Relena smiled and bowed to them once more before making her way off stage for the next performance. Mrs. Baker was back stage and nodded her approval of how well she did, causing Relena to smile even more brightly. Making her way into the waiting rooms where other students were practicing up for their performances coming up, Relena headed towards the long table at the back of the room which had refreshments and went to get a cup of water. Just as she raised the drink to her lips, she felt a hand land on her shoulder, causing her to jump in surprise. Turning her vision to who stood behind her, she smiled when she noticed it being Heero.
"Heero, did you see my performance? Did you like it?"
Heero nodded to her slowly but didn't say anything as he stared down at her blankly. Taking a few more sips of her water, Relena began feeling a little awkward with the way Heero was staring at her, and what was beginning to worry her was that he didn't look all to happy either. Lowering her cup to the table, she turned to Heero and asked, "Is something wrong?"
Staring at her for a moment longer he replied, "I have to go out there soon but, I have something I need to talk to you about once I finish."
Nodding to him she replied, "Alright, do you want me to wait for you here?"
"Can you wait for me outside?"
"Yes, of course. Good luck with your performance."
Nodding his reply at her, he turned to leave but before he could go he stopped and turned back to look at her once more. Relena just looked at him in curiosity, since she assumed that maybe he was getting nervous she smiled at him to give him confidence she said, "You will do great Heero, you are the best guitar player I know."
Smiling at her slightly, Heero walked back up to her once more and lifted his right hand up behind her neck and lowered his head towards hers to kiss her gently. Brushing his lips against hers, he pulled her closer to him so that he could kiss her more deeply. He could feel Relena slightly react to his kisses but it was because of her lack of response that he decided to end it there. Staring at her for another brief moment he turned and headed towards the stage area, for his last performance.
Relena sat herself down on one of the benches by the school hall and stared up at the stars glistening above her. She couldn't help but smile at how beautiful the night was, even though she noticed that some clouds were beginning to form up above her now. Everything seemed so great at the moment, smiling at nothing in particular, she felt above the world right now. It was because of Heero, he had always been there for her when she needed it and he was being so supportive of her with what ever she did, he was so sweet. It was because of him that she is able to sing so well, knowing that he is there watching her and listening to what she sings, it helped give her a lot of confidence and felt as though she could sing to the world if he was there to support her.
While she was deep in thought about him at that moment, she failed to notice Heero approach her. He looked at her in confusion for a moment before turning his eyes up at the night sky. What ever she was thinking, she seemed to be entranced by what she was staring up at in the sky, though he couldn't see anything fascinating about it. Lowering his gaze back down to her, he took a deep breath and said, "Hello Relena."
Jumping at the sound of her name, Relena turned her vision towards Heero and smiled brightly at him saying, "Oh hello Heero, sorry about that. I didn't see you."
"Its fine," Heero answered as she sat himself down beside her.
After a few moments of silence between them, Relena sighed and said, "Its beautiful tonight isn't it?"
Heero did not reply. He couldn't. Looking at her now while she actually looked to be happy, he wasn't sure if he could go through with what he had to tell her. It was for both his benefit and hers, but he can't deny that it won't be easy for both of them to cope with. She may get upset, but in time, she will heal, because there will be someone there for her to ease her pain, and make her forget. Unlike him, he will be cursing himself for life with what he was about to do. Sure he could go on as though it won't bother him and live life to the fullest like nothing had ever affected him but, this was not something he wanted to do, but he had to, he had no choice.
Turning her vision towards Heero, she smiled sweetly at him and said, "Heero, there is something I-"
"Relena; tonight was my last performance..." Heero suddenly blurted out, causing Relena to stare at him wide eyed, "I'm going to be dropping out of music."
"What!? But, but why!?" Relena asked, looking at him in total shock.
Getting up from the bench, Heero turned his back on Relena and said, "I will not be having anything to do with music when I finish school, the careers I am thinking of pursuing have no relation to music at all, so there is no point in me doing it anymore..."
"Heero! You promised me that we would start our own band together. You said that you would help me reach that goal!" Relena yelled at him as she got off the bench herself.
"I will still help you; I just won't be studying music anymore that's all."
"I can't do this on my own! How could you promise me such lies... you promised..." Relena said, feeling tears swell up in her eyes, "Why... why the change of heart so suddenly!?"
Taking note of the anger in her voice, Heero turned and approached her slowly, causing Relena to glare at him. Staring down at her, Heero kissed her lips firmly and pulled away to look into her eyes. He could see that she was angry, not to mention hurt, but what he wanted to see in her eyes was any sign of emotion for him. Shaking his head in disappointment, Heero stepped away from her, and looked at her with his emotionless gaze. As much as he wanted to make a difference in her life, he noticed now that he had been wasting his time. There was no future for them being together, it wasn't meant to be.
"Relena, I think it would be best if we stopped seeing each other as well. It isn't working out, I'm sure you know that as well," Heero said, noticing his words crush Relena's heart in an instant.
Relena stared at Heero blankly, she didn't want to believe what was coming out of his mouth; it had to be a joke right? Staring into his eyes, Relena could feel the tears cascade down her cheeks now when she noticed Heero was being deadly serious about what he was saying. Where did it go wrong? What did she do to him? Opening her mouth to speak, she felt as though she just suddenly lost the will to speak. She felt as though the darkness of the night was shadowing her surroundings now as she drowned herself into despair. Shaking in fear, she felt, heard and saw nothing, she was alone, with her heart, hopes and dreams shattered.
Relena jumped when she noticed Heero approach her, instantly she backed away from him and saw him as nothing but a stranger. She couldn't understand why he was doing this to her, for two years they had been together and from what she gathered, they never had any problems so... what could have caused this?
"What did I do? How did I hurt you? Did I mistreat you? Or do I not meet your standards of a perfect girlfriend...?" Relena whispered in question.
"Relena, don't pretend like you care," Heero suddenly said, causing Relena to stare at him blankly.
She couldn't take this anymore, it seemed as though their relationship revolved around Heero and not her. What ever he says goes and she had no right to question, only that she had to accept, there was no other choice. Turning her back on him she began running away into the lonely darkness, she wept and cried out in pain as she ran and ran. All of a sudden, she felt droplets of rain land in her face, looking up towards the night sky; she noticed clouds suddenly form up as it began to rain. So much for a peaceful night, it seemed as though the night itself was relating itself to the pain she was feeling right now. Collapsing by the nearest tree, Relena hugged her jacket closely to her body as she continued to cry her heart out, knowing no one was around to hear her she didn?t hold anything back.
Unknown to her though, someone was baring notice to her pain. Leaning by the school building, the figure kept them selves shrouded in the shadows so that they wouldn't be seen. Watching Relena scream and cry out in despair, the figure watched her with saddened eyes and felt very tempted to go and comfort her right now but no, they knew that she wanted to be alone right now, no one could take away the pain she was feeling. Wiping away some of the rain water which collected itself around their short, mustard coloured hair, the figure turned their emerald coloured eyes up towards the sky and stared endlessly as the rain continued to fall.
Heero made no move to follow Relena, he knew she would be upset but, he wasn't expecting for it to hurt her so badly. As he approached the school hall, he couldn't help but feel about ready to cry himself, he could already feel moisture forming up in his eyelids. He didn't want this, the clenching in his heart made it obvious to him but he couldn't continue leading on with this lie anymore. It will get better, for both of them in time. Why didn't he feel convinced of that though? He felt so guilty that he couldn't help Relena after all. He could never break down that impenetrable barrier around her soul where she was hurting so badly and even his affection towards her went unnoticed as well.
Before he entered the building, he stopped when he suddenly felt someone watching him. Keeping his gaze on the back entrance of the building, Heero could sense someone standing in the shadows to his right. The figure leaned themselves against the wall and folded their arms saying, "How did it go?"
"It was done, that's all that matters," Heero replied. Before reaching out for the door, Heero sighed to himself and added, "... Please look after her." The figured turned their black eyes towards Heero in question and watched as Heero entered the building, closing the door behind him as he left. Heero stood where he was for a moment and wondered if this was really the right thing to do for Relena. Could he really hand her down to another in hope that she could be happier then what she 'thought' she was with him? 'Only time will tell.'
******End of Flashback******
Trowa stared down at his food for a moment as he turned his vision up towards the people sitting with him. Beside him sat Lucrezia as she smiled and nodded at the girl with short reddish/brown curly hair and went to add something to their conversation as the girl with curly hair laughed and clapped her hands together. Beside the girl with curly hair sat a man with short light brown hair with ice blue eyes as he smiled and listened into their conversation quietly. Trowa found no interest with what the girls were taking about and looked down at his watch. The girl with short curly hair took notice of this and asked, "Are you getting bored Trowa?"
Looking up at her, Trowa shook his head and replied, "I'm fine," before reaching out for his coffee.
"Well little brother, if you tried joining in our conversation then maybe you wouldn't be so bored. It's a free for all gossip session after all.? Smiling at Trowa she turned to look at the man beside her and nudged his arm with her elbow saying, "Same goes for you too sweetie."
Smiling at her, the man wrapped his arm around her shoulders and replied, "I am content enough as it is just listening to you two ladies drone on already. It is quite amusing actually so I'm hardly bored." The girl with curly hair smiled sweetly at him and kissed him briefly on the lips before starting up her conversation with Lucrezia once more.
Sipping his coffee for a moment, Trowa?s eyes drifted over his sister's head and noticed some familiar faces come into the dinning area of the cafe they were eating.
"Ahh!!! Look who's here!!!" Mariemaia shrieked as she threw Mueller her food tray and went dashing towards Trowa. Wrapping her arms around Trowa's neck tightly she shook him about a bit saying, "Yay!! It has been like AGES since I have seen you out of school like this!!" Slapping him over the head she asked, "You haven't been bothered enough to come visit me either you meany!!"
Trowa sighed and lifted his hands up to un-wrap Mariemaia's viselike lock on him and replied, "Hello Mariemaia."
Narrowing her gaze on him, Mariemaia couldn't stay frustrated for long when she turned her vision up to the curly haired girl and said, "Hi Cathrine!!! I haven't spoken to you for a while now either!!"
Smiling at her, Cathrine raised her arms out towards her and said, "You are definitely right about that, come and give me a hug!" Mariemaia jumped up and down excitedly as she quickly walked around the table to her side of the table as she held put her own arms out to embrace the girl into a big friendly hug.
Duo and the others came around the corner at that moment and as they noticed Mariemaia in deep conversation with everyone at the table, Duo said, "Well, let's get a table beside theirs then." Duo, Mueller, Alex and Quatre occupied the table beside Lucrezia and Cathrine whereas Relena and Hilde occupied the table beside Trowa and the other man.
Quatre watched Mariemaia with the people at Trowa's table with curiosity and noticed how comfortable and open she was being with them. Curious about it, Quatre turned his vision to Duo who was sitting across from him and was about to ask how she knew them until he heard another voice speak out to him suddenly, "Hello Quatre, it has been a while."
Turning to the tall woman with short purplish/blackish hair, Quatre smiled and said, "Hello Miss Lucrezia, it has been a while indeed. How have you been?"
"Oh, alright I guess. Although, I have been a little busy with Uni. and everything." Looking to everyone around her table, she turned back to Quatre and asked, "Shall I introduce you to everyone here?"
Quatre nodded in response and replied, "Yes, I would like that, thank you."
Smiling back at him, Lucrezia turned to look at Cathrine who was sitting opposite from her and said, "This is Cathrine Bloom, Trowa's older sister." Hearing her name being mentioned, Cathrine stopped talking to Mariemaia for a moment as she turned her gaze towards Quatre.
"Ah, Quatre is it? Nice to meet you," Cathrine greeted as she held out her hand to him.
"Pleasure to meet you too Miss Cathrine," Quatre replied as he raised his hand to hers, shaking it firmly. Although, one thing he questioned was the mention of her being Trowa?s sister. Why did they have different last names? Plus their appearances weren?t very similar either. Shaking those thoughts out of his head, he figured that it wasn?t his place to ask such things at the moment.
Once Cathrine released her hold on Quatre's hand she raised an eyebrow at him before Lucrezia replied, "He's very polite isn't he?"
"Yeah, I was wondering that myself. I thought I had just misheard him or something. 'Miss' huh? Hehehe, how cute!"
"Yes, he is such a gentleman. He is Relena's boyfriend," Lucrezia added, causing both Quatre and Relena to jump and redden at the mention of that.
"We're just friends!" Both Quatre and Relena said at once, causing the both of them to look at each other speechless. Everyone laughed suddenly at their little outbursts, causing the both of them to redden more as they sunk into their chairs in embarrassment.
"Awww, how cute! Even if you say you aren't together, you two just look simply darling together. I think you two would make a good match," Cathrine teased as she eyed both Quatre and Relena suspiciously.
Lucrezia tried keeping in her laughter at their little act and continued, "Sitting beside Cathrine here is her boyfriend, Treize Khushrenada who is also Mariemaia's uncle if you didn't know already."
"Nice to meet you Quatre," Treize replied as he nodded towards Quatre.
"Yes, nice to meet you too. Although, I am a bit discouraged that I haven't had the chance to meet you sooner since I have been friends with Miss Mariemaia for a while now," Quatre replied sadly.
"Please don't upset yourself over such small matters Quatre; we were bound to meet each other sooner or later. Besides, I know a fair bit about you from being your sister?s fencing teacher, not to mention Marie has said a lot about you as well."
Mariemaia smiled as she sat herself down beside Hilde and said, "Yeah! I was so excited when I first met you Quatre; since that meant another new friend, and what got better is that we gained another great friend because of you." Looking over to Relena she smiled and winked at her as she went to eating her food. Relena looked at Mariemaia thoughtfully at that moment and couldn't help but smile slightly at that. Trowa noticed this as well, and couldn't help but smile at Mariemaia's remark as well. She was always such a sweet and friendly person, always looking to the positive things in people, it was no wonder she was basically friends with the whole senior school.
"Come on guys! We better hurry up since we need to get some shopping done for my party!" Mariemaia announced as she took a mouth full of spaghetti, "I hope Trowa has told you Cathy that you are both invited, you too Lulu."
"Yes, both Trowa and Treize told me about it and I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Cathrine replied, smiling brightly.
"Are you sure you want me to come?" Lucrezia asked uncertainly, "You don't just have to invite me because I am here."
"No way!!! I want you to come, Heero is invited too you know. Basically everyone at school is invited, it's my eighteenth after all so I want to have the bestest time!!!" Mariemaia said, taking a large mouth full of cola afterwards.
"Oh ok, thank you so much Mariemaia," Lucrezia said as she went to take a bite out of her sandwich.
While everyone got into deep conversations with each other about Mariemaia's birthday party, Relena got up from her seat and went to go buy a drink. Trowa took notice of this and went to follow after her since he had wanted to talk to her over a few things for a while now. While he was heading out though, he couldn?t help but take note of the way Quatre was watching him in curiosity as he disappeared around the corner after her.
Relena looked over the fridges for a moment before deciding to just stick with getting a bottle of water. When she closed the door though, she noticed someone standing behind her by the reflection off the glass door. Looking over her shoulder she took notice of it being Trowa and smiled slightly as she went to go pay for her drink. Trowa continued to watch her closely as she paid for her drink but once she started making her way back to the dining area, Trowa said, "Can we talk for a moment?"
Stopping at the sound of Trowa?s request, Relena nodded and turned to face him, she was expecting him to say something like that since it was rather odd of him to just follow her like this if nothing was on his mind. Heading out the cafe, they both started taking a short walk down the wide mall as they walked past many different shops and many different crowds of people their shopping in hand. It wasn't until they reached the centre of the mall that Trowa nodded towards the direction of benches and went to go sit down.
Sitting down beside him, Relena remained silent as she looked towards him, waiting for him to speak out what ever was on his mind.
"...Are you happy with them?" Trowa asked as he turned his emerald eyes towards her. Noticing the way she was looking at him in total confusion, Trowa added, "Duo's group is who I am referring to, are you happy being with them?"
"Of course, why would you ask such a thing?" Relena answered, causing Trowa to stare at her in disbelief. She could see that he wasn't too convinced with her answer, the way he was staring at her confirmed it, but as much as she didn't want to follow up on the subject, she could feel Trowa's searching gaze on her as though it was forcing her to say more.
"They are really nice, all of them. I am happy that they had accepted me into their group but, we had been on different levels from each other for so long that I just can't forget that difference between us."
"... Friends forgive each other; no one is expected to be perfect all the time. I just hope you can see that they aren't going to think less of you if they were to see you for who... you really are."
Looking down at the ground sadly, Relena closed her eyes and shook her head saying, "I, I don't think can, I couldn't. I don't want to burden them with my problems."
"Really? Well what about me? Did you ever think that when you told me things which were troubling you at the time?"
Opening her mouth to speak, she hesitated for a moment and decided to stay silent. He had her there, once again. That was one of the things which annoyed her about Trowa, he always knew what he was talking about and always won with having the last word, no matter what the situation was. His knowledge on people were never wrong, even if he may make assumptions from time to time, he still had a way to make people freeze in shock with what he would speak about them as though he had just read their thoughts... It reminded her of Quatre. While Trowa seemed to read people's heads, Quatre seemed to read people's hearts.
"I understand how you know so much about Duo's group now," Relena suddenly replied, causing Trowa to look at her blankly, "I never knew your sister dated Mariemaia's uncle. Have they been together long?"
"A few years I guess," Trowa answered, "I think they are getting to the stage of considering marriage soon."
"I'm happy for them," Relena answered, smiling slightly.
"Relena, remember what I said to you at Quatre's place that day?" Trowa asked, causing Relena to flinch at the mention of that. Noticing this, Trowa reached out for her chin and tilted her head towards his so that he could get a clear look at her eyes, "Don't forget what I said. For you to be happy, you need to free yourself of these past memories which have been haunting you for years now. You can't heal yourself over on your own, you have been doing this for so long that you have made things harder for yourself. Heero and I have tried helping you, even if you don't want to acknowledge that, it's the truth." Staring at her for a moment, he noticed Relena's eyes turn glassy as she closed her eyes and whispered, "I remember... but why him?"
"He seems to have a gift, a gift to be able to read people's souls. Eyes are like a doorway into your soul, and I feel as though he is one of those people who could dig real deep into your inner self to find what it is that troubles you. Those feelings then swell themselves within his own soul and he uses that to understand why you would be affected by it." Trowa knew this sounded very corny to believe but that day when he confronted Quatre, he was almost certain that he spoke the truth.
Staring at him blankly, Relena wondered if he was beginning to go crazy or something. She felt like laughing at Trowa's words just now but, while she thought about it, it did seem possible. She remembered what Duo said to her at one stage.
'It helps to talk to him you know. He helped me understand things clearer, not to mention that I have learned to cope with everything now. I was just as stubborn about my past as well, but what I find strange about him is the fact that he always seems so understanding you know. Like he can feel your pain or something... Maybe it's just me but it still makes me wonder about him. But getting back to the point, Quatre seems to understand people even without experiencing what ever they went though.'
"I will let you think it over," Trowa suddenly said, causing her to snap out of her thoughts, "I will tell everyone know that you will be back soon." With that said, Trowa began walking back towards the cafe while at the same time, Relena watched him go and whispered, "I wish... things could have been different between us..."
******Flashback******
Parking on the curb by the Winner estate, Trowa got out of the car and began making his way towards the intercom by the front gate. Relena quickly got out of the passenger seat and raced towards him yelling, "Trowa wait!" Trowa was just about to raise his hand to the button before Relena called out to him, turning to Relena he looked at her with a blank expression and waited for her to continue.
Looking through the gates of Quatre's home briefly, Relena turned back to Trowa and asked, "What are we doing here?"
"You should be in there with them," Trowa replied before raising his hand towards the intercom once more.
Taking hold of Trowa's hand, Relena looked at him critically and said, "So you dragged me out of Wufei's home just to bring me here to study, all because I 'should' be here and not his place?"
Unnerved by Relena's actions, Trowa stared down at her and said, "You weren't studying when I was there and as I anticipated, I knew something like that was going to happen." He was referring to the way Wufei had behaved around her. It was lucky that he turned up when he did, otherwise things could have gotten a lot more serious.
Looking at Trowa in confusion, Relena lowered her hand from his and said, "I'm sure, he had a reason..."
"Don't try to cover his actions Relena, you two aren't together anymore so you shouldn't defend him like you are currently doing."
"I needed him to help me with my English exam, how am I going to do it now?"
"Dorothy can help you."
Staring at him blankly for a moment, she looked at him sadly and asked, "Trowa, why did you come to Wufei's place? If you were against me going, why didn't you say anything earlier?"
Staring at her for a moment, Trowa walked towards her and reached out for her arms. Raising them up towards him, he suddenly rolled up her sleeves and revealed what he was hoping not to see. Her gasp in pain earlier on when Wufei grabbed her arms confirmed it. Looking down at the front of her arms, Trowa took note of the numerous finger printed bruises on her arms, most of them were healing over but there were still a few which still had a strong purplish blue colour over them. ?So, it was true that Relena did get grabbed at the hockey stadium??
Relena's eyes widened at what he was doing and tried pulling her arms away from him, but Trowa's grip on her elbows were too strong for her to pull away from.
"... Does this answer your question now?" Trowa said, causing Relena to turn her head off to the side as she stared down at the ground sadly.
"It was my fault!" Relena cried out, "I didn't love him enough, I deserved this."
What suddenly caught her off guard though was when Trowa suddenly flipped her arms over, not expecting to find bruises but something more damaging, more life threatening in other words. This time when Relena pulled away from him, Trowa decided to let her go since he saw what he originally wanted to see.
Staring down at the ground in shame, Relena felt tears coming to her eyes again a she tried holding them back. She didn't pay any attention to what Trowa was doing but after a moment of her trying to gain self control again she suddenly heard him say, "The gates open Relena." Turning to look at him, she went under a massive panic when Trowa was already making his way to the front door.
Running through the gates as they closed after her, Relena grabbed hold of Trowa's arm and said, "You won't say anything about this will you? Please say you won't."
Keeping his gaze forward he asked, "Why not?"
"I don't want to cause anymore trouble, this is my problem; I don't want anyone else getting mixed up in it. Please understand why." Leaning her head on his back, Relena closed her eyes and whispered, "I deserve what ever is thrown at me..."
Sighing in defeat, Trowa looked over his shoulder and said, "... It has nothing to do with me so I have no right to speak of other people's business." With that said; Trowa began walking forward and started heading up the steps to the front door of Quatre's home. Trowa had to admit that he was impressed; the Winners certainly didn't hesitate to spoil themselves over their riches. What surprised him though was when he noticed Quatre staring at him blankly as both he and Relena approached the door.
Quatre couldn't speak, he was confused and worried all at the same time, wasn't Relena suppose to be at Wufei's place? Why was Trowa suddenly with her? Trowa just stared at him blankly as well, he could see the questioning gaze Quatre had fixed on him and waited for him to make the first move. Relena looked between the two in total confusion, they looked a though they were trying to stare each other down or something.
"Who's at the door Quatre!!!" Mariemaia's voice echoed as she looked over Quatre's shoulder, "Ah!! Trowa!! Relena!! It's so great to see you both!!" Pushing her way past Quatre, Mariemaia smiled brightly at Relena as she approached her but once she saw her face; Mariemaia's smile withered away at the sadness detected in Relena's eyes. Turning to look at Trowa in curiosity, she noticed him looking towards Relena as well and nodded to Mariemaia as he turned to leave. He would talk to her later, that?s what he was indicating to her.
Looking towards Relena once more, she smiled slightly as she guided her into the house saying, "Wow Rellie, I'm so glad you could make it, you should see the amount of work we have been doing. Absolutely nothing hahaha!!!" Relena could tell that she was trying to cheer her up, but Relena couldn't even force herself to smile at the moment.
"Wait!" Quatre called out to Trowa as he began walking after him. Trowa didn't stop though, he continued walking towards the front gate as though he hadn't heard Quatre at all.
"What did Wufei do to her?" Quatre suddenly asked, causing Trowa to stop in his steps, "What happened between them? What made you suddenly bring her here?"
Turning his head towards Quatre, Trowa stared at him expressionless for a moment before asking, "What makes you think Wufei did something to her?"
"It's not hard to figure out that much Trowa. I find it quite odd that she suddenly turns up at my house obviously very depressed about something, then seeing you here to just drop her off and leave doesn't exactly make sense to me either."
"... Don't you want her here?" Trowa asked.
"I didn't say that, I am merely asking what happened."
"What if I tell you that it isn't my place to tell you someone else's personal problems?"
"What if I say that I can't help her the way you want me to unless you give me some answers," Quatre suddenly said, causing Trowa to stare at him speechless. If anything he was expecting Quatre to say, he definitely wasn't expecting to hear that since, that was actually his reason for bring her here in the first place. Turning to face his whole body towards Quatre, Trowa slowly walked up to him, keeping his eyes fixed on Quatre?s as he did so.
"If you can read my thoughts like you did just now, why would you need me to explain Relena's pain?"
"I can see that she is hurt, lost, lonely and depressed, but I can't read people's minds, no one can do that but if you know why she is hurting then why aren't you helping her?"
"I have tried, but she has said nothing to me. I know a lot about her I will admit but it is different hearing things from some else's mouth compared to her own. I am sure you can understand the differences. The thing I have noticed about you though is that you seem to be able to understand someone else's pain as though you had experienced it yourself. If anyone is going to help her, you would be the best person for the job."
"I am no miracle worker Trowa; I can't just magically wish away her pain like it was nothing."
"No, I don't expect that but your feelings for her would make it almost seem possible," Trowa suddenly said, causing Quatre to stare at him wide eyed. Now it was Quatre's turn to be put on the spot, except the difference was that he had nothing to say back at that, causing Trowa to smirk at him slightly.
Turning to leave once again, Trowa exited out the gate and headed towards his car. Within a few moments, his car started up and he was gone, causing Quatre to stare endlessly at the gate where he last saw him go, questioning himself on what had just been said between them.
******End of Flashback******
'You can never wish away your problems, but trying to pretend as though they don't affect you is what makes things worse for yourself. Everyone has to face them sooner or later in order to live a happier life. Refusing to recognize them while they are still fresh in your mind and soul will lead to you finding it harder and harder top cope with everyday life, and will eventually lead you to death. Relena, you can't remain hidden in your own little world of despair forever, I just hope Quatre will be able to break through your barriers, for your sake. The problem with this though is that Quatre can't continue carrying everyone else's pain like this too, he needs to stop and recognize his own pain as well. Hopefully you two will be able to help each other out, but with the way things are going, I feel as though only one of you will find happiness, whereas the other will continue down the road of sadness.'
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Author's Note: Thank you to those who have been reviewing my story. I am sorry that I haven't updated sooner but I have been busy with school work (and still am
)
Freelight01, I have taken what you have said to me into account and yes, no more screwing around (well, sort of). I won't lie and say that I won't still be adding suspense to this story from here on out but answers are going to be put forward now. Which was also another reason I took so long updating
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This is the ninth version I have written of Chapter 11, that's how much I have been playing around with this. I had to re-think through the whole plot line in order to start revealing things to everyone, but I didn't want to make it appear as though I got desperate and decided to throw it all out at once, it will be stated one step at a time. I know not much was stated in this chapter but maybe... just maybe it has revealed a little about Relena, not enough, but some. More will be stated about her in the next part of the chapter, along with Heero, Wufei and Sylvia's group, HOPEFULLY. I have a tendancy to change ideas around all the time so it could change I don't know. I just want to let you know that everything is going to be revealing itself in the chapters to come.
I apologise once again about my endless 'unanswered-questions' saga. And I have taken note of what you all want to know, don't think I have over looked anything, it will ALL be answered. Well, enough of me now, see ya!! I will be busy from here on out so I won't be able to update every week like I use to but I will work on this when ever I can.
Email: neon_fantasy@hotmail.com
by Neon Fantasy
Disclaimer: Don't own the charcaters from GW, as usual the same disclaimer applies.
Chapter 11 (Part 1)
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" --- " - Speaking
' --- ' - Thinking
"I'm sorry Relena, as much as I would love to give you a better mark, I'm afraid that if you don't do any practicals then you would have to put up with these bare passing grades until you do some, theory work is not enough," Mrs. Baker explained as she went back to marking another classes assignments. Relena couldn't hide the fact that she was upset about her grade for the term but she did understand why she did so badly, it wasn't her Music teacher's fault after all; she was only doing this to herself. Nodding her thanks to Mrs. Baker, Relena slowly exited the classroom and began slowly walking down the empty corridor.
It was the last day of term today; their school had been dismissed at lunch time because of it. Looking out the windows to her right as she walked down the corridor, Relena saw hardly any students around, everyone was probably anxious to get out of this place as soon as possible to begin the summer vacation right away. Sighing to herself, Relena started thinking back at her term results. She had received A's in practically every subject, causing her to literally double over at the shock of it, since she hadn't received grades like that for years now. Although, she couldn't take all the credit, no correction, she couldn't take any credit for them since it was all thanks to Quatre's tutoring skills.
Turning her head up to look at the white ceiling, Relena figured that Quatre might want to know about her grades, he deserved to know about them after all, probably to see if his time wasted on her actually paid off or not. What will he say about her Music grade though? That was the only subject she did pretty poor in, she had only just passed the term and that was not good on her part. From all of the subjects she studies, Music 'use' to be her best subject, she always excelled in that class ever since she started high school. Even in primary school, teachers would comment on her musical talents... too bad it couldn't last though. Lowering her head down to the carpet now, memories began flooding back into her mind again, memories she hoped would last... forever.
******Flashback******
Ending the last note of her song, the girl lowered the microphone from her mouth as she closed her eyes and listened into the music playing behind her as it began to die down slowly, from the drums and guitar players, through to the keyboard and it was over. Looking up from the stage to the person sitting in front of them, the woman pressed stop on her tape recorder and couldn't resist getting up from her seat to applaud their performance with great enthusiasm.
"Great work you guys. Excellent, simply brilliant. Another top mark for you all I'm sure, I will have to listen through the tape again though, just to be precise with my marking but once again, great work!" The woman praised repeatedly as the band began packing their things.
"Thanks Mrs. Baker, I'm glad you liked it!" The girl with long honey blonde hair replied as she smiled brightly at her teacher.
"Oh I love hearing you perform Relena; your voice is simply remarkable. You sing from the heart I can tell," Mrs. Baker smiled as she picked up her note book and the tape recorder sitting beside her, she continued, "I will let you all finish up here, I trust you will close the door behind you who ever leaves last alright?" Noticing the nods from the five students, Mrs. Baker nodded back and headed out the door.
Relena continued to smile as she placed the microphone back on the stand and turned to look over her left shoulder at the electric guitar player a couple of metres away from her. Watching his movements closely, she watched as he began pulling the cords out from behind his guitar and went to place it from the case it came from. Her eyes softened as she watched him put his guitar away, although it wasn't going unnoticed by the guitar player either.
Laying the lid of the case over his guitar, he turned his prussian eyes towards Relena and raised an eyebrow at her asking, "Is something wrong?"
"Hm? Oh, no nothing," Relena replied cheekily as she went to help the others pack the rest of the equipment away, causing Heero to look at her suspiciously.
"There we go!! All done," the keyboard player called out as she raised her fist high up over her head in triumph.
"Good, I really want to get home now," the drummer replied as he picked up his school bag beside the stage and started heading towards the door.
"Hey! Wait up!" The bass guitarist said as he rushed to get his bag as well. Looking over to the keyboard player he said, "Come on Marie, we need to go too."
Mariemaia looked to the bass guitarist and whined, "Geez, ok, ok. You are just as bad as Alex, Mueller." Stepping off the stage, Mariemaia grabbed her own bag and jogged over to where Alex and Mueller were waiting for her.
Just as she reached them, she smiled and turned to face Relena and Heero saying, "See you later!" As usual, both didn't say a word to her so shrugging it off she ran out the door to reach Alex and Mueller since they weren't waiting for her if she didn?t hurry.
Once she was gone, Relena hopped off the stage herself and went to her bag and started searching through it for something. Heero busied himself with picking up a few stray cords which were lying about on the stage still but once he finished doing that, he saw nothing else that needed to be cleared up. Looking around for Relena, Heero noticed her on the floor by the stage and went to go see what she was doing.
Watching her rummage through her bag, he heard her mutter a few curses under her breath before she spoke out loud, "Dammit! I must have left it at home..."
"Left what?" Heero asked.
"I wanted to show you another song I was working on. Geez, I knew I was forgetting something this morning. Dammit!!" Relena then went off in a little rage at herself while Heero just stood there staring at her blankly, although her cursing were beginning to get on his nerves though.
"You can always show me later," Heero replied, sitting him self down on one of the many rows of chairs which were in the music room.
"But I wanted to show you now..." Relena whined, allowing her self to get into another fit. Heero sighed to himself and wondered sometimes if she could ever be quiet for at least five minutes of her life. Watching her walk around in circles going on about god knows what, Heero stared at her in deep thought. He had to admit that she was a strong girl; playing along with everyone else's expectations of her and making it appear as though she was 'happy'. He had known her long enough to know that something was hurting her but could never get her to speak out what was troubling her so much... What did he have to do to make her say something? To show her that people did really did care...?
Sighing in frustration, Relena still cursed herself for her forgetfulness but then, she brightened up suddenly when a thought just crossed her. Turning to face Heero, she noticed him sitting down by one of the chairs and smiled sweetly at him. Rushing up to him she knelled down on her knees in front of him and leaned her arms on his lap, causing Heero to snap out of his thoughts at the feel of her touch.
"Hey Heero, do you think you could come over so I can sing it to you then?" Relena asked excitedly, causing Heero to stare at her blankly. Noticing his lack of response, Relena tilted her head off to the side a little and added, "Um, you know, my song? The one I had in my black note book which I forgot to bring today?" Observing his reaction to that remark, she grew a little curious with the way he was suddenly behaving. He still had that emotionless expression over his face but his eyes told another story. The glint in his eyes was something Relena had never seen before; they looked so warm and, loving at the moment.
Just as Relena opened her mouth to ask Heero about that, she was shocked to suddenly feel Heero's lips pressed firmly against hers in a deep kiss. Relena's eyes widened at that moment, never had she even considered this ever happening to her; especially not between her and Heero, how could it? She had known him for so long now that, it almost seemed? wrong. Pulling away from him slightly, Relena looked deep into his eyes in confusion and asked, "?Heero? Wh-"
"Relena," Heero interrupted as he raised his hands up to her cheeks, "Let me? help you?" Heero murmured as her rested his forehead against hers. Relena stared at him blankly at that moment, as though his words had just suddenly struck something within her soul. Her eyes turned glassy at that moment, tears were forming in her eyelids and she was determined to not let them fall. But his soft, deep gaze on her was not allowing her to try and hide anything anymore, it seemed as though he was searching her soul for a sign, something to reveal what he knew was there but... could not see it on his own.
Relena didn't want that, she couldn't let this get to her, she couldn't. Rising up from the ground slowly, she was surprised to suddenly feel Heero?s hands grab hold of her arms. Gazing at her softly, Heero pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her back, hugging her to his chest. Relena's defenses dropped at that moment as she let her tears cascade down her cheeks, weeping quietly to herself as pressed her head against Heero?s school shirt.
She didn?t know how long she had been crying but she felt so ashamed of herself at the moment, feeling so helpless and being at the mercy of Heero. Just as she raised her head up from his shirt, she looked up at him sadly and watched as he raised his hand up to her face, brushing away a tear gently as he did so. Why was he even caring? She had never seen him do such a thing before, why a sudden change of heart? Or was he just taking pity on her? She couldn?t speak; she didn?t have the energy to even try since she had spent it all on balling her eyes out just now.
At that moment though, Heero lowered his head down towards hers once more and gently brushed his lips against hers. Relena reacted slightly to his touch and began kissing him back. His kiss deepened as he held her close, while one arm stayed hooked around her back, another slowly drifted up to the back of her neck, wanting to kiss her more passionately. Relena?s hands rested on Heero?s shoulders but, unknown to him, tears were slowly beginning to flow down her eyelids once more. She was helpless and uncertain to what was going on with her, but one thing was for certain, she felt comforted by Heero at this moment and needed him right now? she needed his strength.
******End of Flashback******
It almost seemed ironic, even during that time three years ago, that was during her so called, 'happy days'. Even then she was a total mess of emotions; she had hardly changed since then either. Looking down at her watch, her eyes widened at what the time read. It was half past one; she should have met up with Duo and the others half an hour ago! Dashing down the corridor, Relena made a sharp turn to the area where the school office was and headed down another corridor to reach the exit of the main building.
She didn?t realize time went by so quickly; did she really talk to her music teacher about her grade for around thirty minutes!? She knew she was in for it now, she could picture the annoyed faces on Duo and everyone else when she were to eventually show up, if they were still at the car park that was.
Just as she raced around the corner, she was shocked to suddenly bump into some thing? or more specifically some one. Gasping as she fell forward, she felt herself fall on top of the person she bumped into and immediately assumed it to be a teacher since she was around the office area after all. Quickly raising her head to who she assumed it to be a teacher she frantically replied, "Oh god! Please forgive me! I am so sorry, I-"
Stopping mid-sentence, she felt the person's hands reach over her arms and heard them reply, ?Miss Relena, are you alright?? Relena?s eyes widened at the familiar voice and felt her cheeks redden as the person lifted their head to look at her.
Gazing down at him, Relena gasped and apologized, ?Q-Quatre! Oh my god, I?m so sorry!? Quatre just smiled and propped himself up on his elbows as he raised his back off the ground slightly. He assumed to think that Relena was going to get off at him at that moment but as he rose his back off the ground slightly, his eyes widened when he noticed his face only an inch or so away from Relena's face. Quatre's cheeks tinted pink at that moment; losing his will to speak in the process as he gazed into Relena's eyes. Relena stared into his at that moment, only having it occur to her just now that Quatre was probably waiting for her to actually get off him. Blushing in embarrassment, Relena quickly got to her feet and wanted to back away from him to give him some space but suddenly tripped up on Quatre's feet and suddenly fell backwards onto the carpet.
Quatre got himself into sitting position instantly and wanted to ask Relena if she was alright but as he looked at her, his eyes suddenly drifted some where down her form and suddenly went as red as a tomato. Relena sat herself up at that moment and brushed some of the carpet fluff off her black blazer and smoothed her short grey skirt down once more as she rose up from the ground. Quatre followed her example of getting off the carpet but his face was still bright red, he couldn't look at Relena at the moment, not when he saw more then he had expected to when he watched Relena fall to the ground. Now he could understand why Duo always went on about how good female?s uniform were, the whole ideal of almost being able to look up them if girls weren't careful. How could he allow himself to stoop down to that level?
Relena looked at him quizzically just now and said, "Sorry about that Quatre I.... Hey, are you ok?" Quatre jumped at that moment and tried shaking his head out of the imprinted image of Relena?s underwear out of his head as he stammered, "Y-yes, of course... I um, I came to go find you s-since everyone is um; waiting so we b-better go ok? Good, let's go." Quatre hastily made his way towards the exit while Relena raised an eyebrow at his strange behaviour. Not having the time to question it she ran to catch up to him, 'Geez he is a pretty fast walker.'
********************************
Noticing Quatre and Relena approaching them, Duo smirked and said, "Well look who finally decides to show up!"
Hilde glared at him and slapped him over the head saying, "Don't be so rude! I am sure Relena has a good reason as to why she was late."
"Hi!!!" Mariemaia yelled out as she waved at them frantically as they approached their group, "What took you so long Rellie?"
"I'm sorry; I went to see Mrs. Baker about my grade..." Relena replied, causing Quatre to look over at her in curiosity.
"Ah ok, all good, all good. Well, let's get shopping!!! We have a lot to get for my party in a couple of weeks!!!" Mariemaia said as she jumped around excitedly.
"Yeah, we only have around four or so hours until the most of the shops will close so we better get moving," Duo replied. Just as he was about to go to his car he looked over his shoulder at the girls and replied, "Hehe, how about coming with me for the ride ladies?"
Mariemaia shook her head and replied, "I wanna ride with Mueller!" Looking over at him sweetly she wrapped her arms around his and leaned her head on his shoulder, causing him to smile at her.
"Ah well, I am sure Hil and Rel wouldn't mind coming with me then," Duo said.
"But what about Quatre!" Mariemaia shrieked, causing Quatre to look at her blankly.
"Um, I will be alright Miss Mariemaia. It is only a short drive there an-"
"No it is NOT alright!" Mariemaia interrupted, "You won't have anyone to talk to!" Turning her gaze to Relena she grinned widely and pointed to her saying, "You go ride with him Relena, to keep him company and all."
It sounded more like a demand more then anything else from Relena's point of view but she obeyed and slowly nodded, looking over to Quatre as she did so. Although she couldn't help but notice him looking slightly, tense at the moment. She could assume that he was still probably annoyed at her for being so clumsy earlier on. Unknown to her though, that was definitely not the case.
"Well fine, I can be generous," Duo replied. Wrapping his arm around Hilde's shoulders he winked and said, "Well, guess it's just you and me babe."
Snorting at him she replied, "Hmph, you wish, Alex is coming with us too you know. Since I assume Mariemaia and Mueller want to be... alone."
"He can go with Quatre and Relena can't he?" Duo pouted teasingly.
"No!! I would much prefer it if he went with you Duo!" Mariemaia blurted out, causing everyone to look at her blankly. Slapping her hand over her mouth she just shrugged and nudged Mueller towards his car, not wanting to be questioned over her course of car partners just now. Duo, Alex and Hilde watched her suspiciously but decided to drop it as they headed towards Duo's car.
"Just follow us ok Quatre?" Duo called out to him as he waved and got into his car, with Hilde getting into the front passenger seat and Alex at the back.
Quatre nodded and turned to Relena saying, "Well, shall we go?" Relena turned her gaze towards his and instantly their collision in the main building came to mind again, along with him accidentally looking up her skirt as well. Shaking his head to clear those thoughts he couldn't help but blush again as he quickly headed towards his car, causing Relena to look at him blankly but went to follow after him.
********************************
While Quatre was keeping up with Duo's car as they drove towards some traffic lights, Quatre looked over at Relena briefly and noticed her to be staring out the passenger side window. They hadn't spoken a word to each other once they got into the car and Quatre's nerves weren't calming down because of it either.
"Miss Relena," Quatre said, causing her to look over at him, "Earlier on you said that you went to see Mrs. Baker about your grade for the term... what was wrong with it exactly?"
Relena flinched slightly at his question, it didn't occur to her until now that her grades basically reflected off his tutoring for her so, her seeing the teacher about her grade didn't look too good on his part. Why did she have a habit of blurting things out without thinking before hand about the consequences? Duo's and Mariemaia's bluntness seems to be rubbing off on her a bit now.
"Well? Nothing really, my theory work is fine but, it's my practicals which have been holding me down. Since I haven't been doing them...," Relena murmured.
Quatre didn't reply, he had to admit that they hadn't done very much work on music compared to her other subjects so, maybe they should start focusing on that now. There was still one thing he pondered about that though, ever since he had started coming to their school, he had never once seen Relena do any practicals in music and he really had no idea what instrument she actually learned. If he were to help her, he would need to know what she learned before hand. Luckily he had an undying love for music so what ever she did, he was almost certain that he could help her since he was familiar with most instruments, only that the piano and the violin were his favourites.
"What instrument do you learn Miss. Relena?"
"I don't learn an instrument... I, I do vocals..."
Quatre's eyes widened at the mention of vocals, 'She sings!?' He had to admit that he was shocked at first, however the more he thought about it; the more it appeared to be the right thing for her to do. Being as sensitive and secretive as she was, singing would do her good to express her emotions through her lyrics and escape from reality as she lost herself to the sweet melodies of music in the background. He was very anxious to hear her sing now. As strange as it seemed, he could actually picture her with a very beautiful voice and from all the subjects they had, he wouldn't mind spending nights upon nights helping her with it if that meant getting the opportunity to hear her sing. "I would love to hear you sing sometime Miss Relena."
Flinching at the mention of that, she turned to look at Quatre sadly before saying, "I don't think so."
"Why is that?"
"Because I'm not any good," Relena replied, looking down at the ground as she said this.
Now this didn't make any sense to him. It was their last year of school so, she wouldn't have made it this far to do the subjects she does now without being good at them from the previous years, which included music too. How could she claim to say that she wasn't any good if she made this far? She must love singing if she continues to do it, after all, it wasn't hard to change classes if you weren't satisfied with it or if you weren't interested enough to keep going. She did dedicate herself since her theory work was always set at high standards and she did this on her own without any help from him so, why didn't she ever do practicals? She would be just as equally good at them as she was with theory right?
"... I will be the judge of that," Quatre finally replied, causing Relena to turn to him in question, "I will decide for myself if whether or not you are good Miss Relena. You can't say that you are bad when I haven't even heard you sing yet." Softening his gaze, he smiled sweetly at her and replied, "Besides, I can't picture you not having a wonderful voice, I think you are just being modest."
Relena couldn't help but smile slightly at that, she had to admit that she did like singing a lot but her heart wasn't into it anymore, the more she tried singing, the worse she got. She was tempted to tell Quatre that he actually has heard her sing, that day at the park when he first came to their school but no, no one should have heard that song and she felt too embarrest to admit that, that was her. Her voice was shocking since it kept cracking as she tried voicing out her lyrics and she had no passion to put any positive emotion into it either, it had nothing but sadness in it.
Watching Relena from the corner of his eye, he took notice of her body language as she turned to look out the window again and noticed that something was bothering her right now. It wasn't hard to figure out that it had something to do with her singing, but what? There was so much about her that he still couldn't figure out and it was beginning to get harder and harder for him to not scream out at her to tell him what was wrong with her. But no, he wasn't about to pry into her personal life if she wasn't going to willingly tell him herself. Did she understand that he would always be willing to listen to her if she ever did feel like talking? He thought that spending a bit of time with her would help her feel that there were people out there who did care but, how long can he keep being with her like this knowing she was feeling so much pain...
"Have you, ever had a dream Quatre?" Relena suddenly said, still keeping her gaze out the window.
Looking at her blankly for a while before turning his vision back to the road he replied, "... Yes, I did."
"Have you ever felt as though your dream could never come true?"
"Not could, it will never come true. Not for me anyway..." Quatre replied sadly, causing Relena to look up at him in question.
Sighing to himself, he figured that he better give this information to her since he, felt as though this had something to do with her not singing, "... I, I have always had a passion for music. When I was a child, I loved playing all different types of instruments, I had an obsession with trumpets when I was around seven but it got a little too noisy for my father's likings so I found love in the violin and eventually the piano as well," Smiling slightly at that, he continued, "I wanted to be a musician. Anyone who listened to me play always complimented me on how well I played so it gave me all the more encouragement to do it."
"... So, what happened?"
"My father deciding to make me the next heir to our translation company is what happened. I had no say about it either; I had to always spend my free time with him at the company so that I could learn from him how everything worked. Music was never meant to be my career in life, I could do so much better then that with the knowledge I have acquired, or so my father says. My dreams were shattered right before my eyes, and the irony to that was that they were my dreams and someone else had the power to destroy them... If I were to have a change in heart, I would have preferred to be the one to control what I did with my life, not have someone else run it for me."
Relena stared at him in total shock, she never assumed that Quatre's life was set out and planned the way his father wanted it to be. She always assumed that Quatre wanted to do the things he did because he never showed any signs of negativity towards what he did in general. Was this the same for Dorothy too? It didn't seem right; she thought... she was the only one who had her life controlled by her parents. Even her dreams were shattered before her on more then one occasion, her parents didn't approve and just when she thought she had someone to stand by her to support what she did, they shattered her hopes as well.
******Flashback******
Hearing the sounds of the audience applaud her performance, Relena smiled and bowed to them once more before making her way off stage for the next performance. Mrs. Baker was back stage and nodded her approval of how well she did, causing Relena to smile even more brightly. Making her way into the waiting rooms where other students were practicing up for their performances coming up, Relena headed towards the long table at the back of the room which had refreshments and went to get a cup of water. Just as she raised the drink to her lips, she felt a hand land on her shoulder, causing her to jump in surprise. Turning her vision to who stood behind her, she smiled when she noticed it being Heero.
"Heero, did you see my performance? Did you like it?"
Heero nodded to her slowly but didn't say anything as he stared down at her blankly. Taking a few more sips of her water, Relena began feeling a little awkward with the way Heero was staring at her, and what was beginning to worry her was that he didn't look all to happy either. Lowering her cup to the table, she turned to Heero and asked, "Is something wrong?"
Staring at her for a moment longer he replied, "I have to go out there soon but, I have something I need to talk to you about once I finish."
Nodding to him she replied, "Alright, do you want me to wait for you here?"
"Can you wait for me outside?"
"Yes, of course. Good luck with your performance."
Nodding his reply at her, he turned to leave but before he could go he stopped and turned back to look at her once more. Relena just looked at him in curiosity, since she assumed that maybe he was getting nervous she smiled at him to give him confidence she said, "You will do great Heero, you are the best guitar player I know."
Smiling at her slightly, Heero walked back up to her once more and lifted his right hand up behind her neck and lowered his head towards hers to kiss her gently. Brushing his lips against hers, he pulled her closer to him so that he could kiss her more deeply. He could feel Relena slightly react to his kisses but it was because of her lack of response that he decided to end it there. Staring at her for another brief moment he turned and headed towards the stage area, for his last performance.
Relena sat herself down on one of the benches by the school hall and stared up at the stars glistening above her. She couldn't help but smile at how beautiful the night was, even though she noticed that some clouds were beginning to form up above her now. Everything seemed so great at the moment, smiling at nothing in particular, she felt above the world right now. It was because of Heero, he had always been there for her when she needed it and he was being so supportive of her with what ever she did, he was so sweet. It was because of him that she is able to sing so well, knowing that he is there watching her and listening to what she sings, it helped give her a lot of confidence and felt as though she could sing to the world if he was there to support her.
While she was deep in thought about him at that moment, she failed to notice Heero approach her. He looked at her in confusion for a moment before turning his eyes up at the night sky. What ever she was thinking, she seemed to be entranced by what she was staring up at in the sky, though he couldn't see anything fascinating about it. Lowering his gaze back down to her, he took a deep breath and said, "Hello Relena."
Jumping at the sound of her name, Relena turned her vision towards Heero and smiled brightly at him saying, "Oh hello Heero, sorry about that. I didn't see you."
"Its fine," Heero answered as she sat himself down beside her.
After a few moments of silence between them, Relena sighed and said, "Its beautiful tonight isn't it?"
Heero did not reply. He couldn't. Looking at her now while she actually looked to be happy, he wasn't sure if he could go through with what he had to tell her. It was for both his benefit and hers, but he can't deny that it won't be easy for both of them to cope with. She may get upset, but in time, she will heal, because there will be someone there for her to ease her pain, and make her forget. Unlike him, he will be cursing himself for life with what he was about to do. Sure he could go on as though it won't bother him and live life to the fullest like nothing had ever affected him but, this was not something he wanted to do, but he had to, he had no choice.
Turning her vision towards Heero, she smiled sweetly at him and said, "Heero, there is something I-"
"Relena; tonight was my last performance..." Heero suddenly blurted out, causing Relena to stare at him wide eyed, "I'm going to be dropping out of music."
"What!? But, but why!?" Relena asked, looking at him in total shock.
Getting up from the bench, Heero turned his back on Relena and said, "I will not be having anything to do with music when I finish school, the careers I am thinking of pursuing have no relation to music at all, so there is no point in me doing it anymore..."
"Heero! You promised me that we would start our own band together. You said that you would help me reach that goal!" Relena yelled at him as she got off the bench herself.
"I will still help you; I just won't be studying music anymore that's all."
"I can't do this on my own! How could you promise me such lies... you promised..." Relena said, feeling tears swell up in her eyes, "Why... why the change of heart so suddenly!?"
Taking note of the anger in her voice, Heero turned and approached her slowly, causing Relena to glare at him. Staring down at her, Heero kissed her lips firmly and pulled away to look into her eyes. He could see that she was angry, not to mention hurt, but what he wanted to see in her eyes was any sign of emotion for him. Shaking his head in disappointment, Heero stepped away from her, and looked at her with his emotionless gaze. As much as he wanted to make a difference in her life, he noticed now that he had been wasting his time. There was no future for them being together, it wasn't meant to be.
"Relena, I think it would be best if we stopped seeing each other as well. It isn't working out, I'm sure you know that as well," Heero said, noticing his words crush Relena's heart in an instant.
Relena stared at Heero blankly, she didn't want to believe what was coming out of his mouth; it had to be a joke right? Staring into his eyes, Relena could feel the tears cascade down her cheeks now when she noticed Heero was being deadly serious about what he was saying. Where did it go wrong? What did she do to him? Opening her mouth to speak, she felt as though she just suddenly lost the will to speak. She felt as though the darkness of the night was shadowing her surroundings now as she drowned herself into despair. Shaking in fear, she felt, heard and saw nothing, she was alone, with her heart, hopes and dreams shattered.
Relena jumped when she noticed Heero approach her, instantly she backed away from him and saw him as nothing but a stranger. She couldn't understand why he was doing this to her, for two years they had been together and from what she gathered, they never had any problems so... what could have caused this?
"What did I do? How did I hurt you? Did I mistreat you? Or do I not meet your standards of a perfect girlfriend...?" Relena whispered in question.
"Relena, don't pretend like you care," Heero suddenly said, causing Relena to stare at him blankly.
She couldn't take this anymore, it seemed as though their relationship revolved around Heero and not her. What ever he says goes and she had no right to question, only that she had to accept, there was no other choice. Turning her back on him she began running away into the lonely darkness, she wept and cried out in pain as she ran and ran. All of a sudden, she felt droplets of rain land in her face, looking up towards the night sky; she noticed clouds suddenly form up as it began to rain. So much for a peaceful night, it seemed as though the night itself was relating itself to the pain she was feeling right now. Collapsing by the nearest tree, Relena hugged her jacket closely to her body as she continued to cry her heart out, knowing no one was around to hear her she didn?t hold anything back.
Unknown to her though, someone was baring notice to her pain. Leaning by the school building, the figure kept them selves shrouded in the shadows so that they wouldn't be seen. Watching Relena scream and cry out in despair, the figure watched her with saddened eyes and felt very tempted to go and comfort her right now but no, they knew that she wanted to be alone right now, no one could take away the pain she was feeling. Wiping away some of the rain water which collected itself around their short, mustard coloured hair, the figure turned their emerald coloured eyes up towards the sky and stared endlessly as the rain continued to fall.
Heero made no move to follow Relena, he knew she would be upset but, he wasn't expecting for it to hurt her so badly. As he approached the school hall, he couldn't help but feel about ready to cry himself, he could already feel moisture forming up in his eyelids. He didn't want this, the clenching in his heart made it obvious to him but he couldn't continue leading on with this lie anymore. It will get better, for both of them in time. Why didn't he feel convinced of that though? He felt so guilty that he couldn't help Relena after all. He could never break down that impenetrable barrier around her soul where she was hurting so badly and even his affection towards her went unnoticed as well.
Before he entered the building, he stopped when he suddenly felt someone watching him. Keeping his gaze on the back entrance of the building, Heero could sense someone standing in the shadows to his right. The figure leaned themselves against the wall and folded their arms saying, "How did it go?"
"It was done, that's all that matters," Heero replied. Before reaching out for the door, Heero sighed to himself and added, "... Please look after her." The figured turned their black eyes towards Heero in question and watched as Heero entered the building, closing the door behind him as he left. Heero stood where he was for a moment and wondered if this was really the right thing to do for Relena. Could he really hand her down to another in hope that she could be happier then what she 'thought' she was with him? 'Only time will tell.'
******End of Flashback******
Trowa stared down at his food for a moment as he turned his vision up towards the people sitting with him. Beside him sat Lucrezia as she smiled and nodded at the girl with short reddish/brown curly hair and went to add something to their conversation as the girl with curly hair laughed and clapped her hands together. Beside the girl with curly hair sat a man with short light brown hair with ice blue eyes as he smiled and listened into their conversation quietly. Trowa found no interest with what the girls were taking about and looked down at his watch. The girl with short curly hair took notice of this and asked, "Are you getting bored Trowa?"
Looking up at her, Trowa shook his head and replied, "I'm fine," before reaching out for his coffee.
"Well little brother, if you tried joining in our conversation then maybe you wouldn't be so bored. It's a free for all gossip session after all.? Smiling at Trowa she turned to look at the man beside her and nudged his arm with her elbow saying, "Same goes for you too sweetie."
Smiling at her, the man wrapped his arm around her shoulders and replied, "I am content enough as it is just listening to you two ladies drone on already. It is quite amusing actually so I'm hardly bored." The girl with curly hair smiled sweetly at him and kissed him briefly on the lips before starting up her conversation with Lucrezia once more.
Sipping his coffee for a moment, Trowa?s eyes drifted over his sister's head and noticed some familiar faces come into the dinning area of the cafe they were eating.
"Ahh!!! Look who's here!!!" Mariemaia shrieked as she threw Mueller her food tray and went dashing towards Trowa. Wrapping her arms around Trowa's neck tightly she shook him about a bit saying, "Yay!! It has been like AGES since I have seen you out of school like this!!" Slapping him over the head she asked, "You haven't been bothered enough to come visit me either you meany!!"
Trowa sighed and lifted his hands up to un-wrap Mariemaia's viselike lock on him and replied, "Hello Mariemaia."
Narrowing her gaze on him, Mariemaia couldn't stay frustrated for long when she turned her vision up to the curly haired girl and said, "Hi Cathrine!!! I haven't spoken to you for a while now either!!"
Smiling at her, Cathrine raised her arms out towards her and said, "You are definitely right about that, come and give me a hug!" Mariemaia jumped up and down excitedly as she quickly walked around the table to her side of the table as she held put her own arms out to embrace the girl into a big friendly hug.
Duo and the others came around the corner at that moment and as they noticed Mariemaia in deep conversation with everyone at the table, Duo said, "Well, let's get a table beside theirs then." Duo, Mueller, Alex and Quatre occupied the table beside Lucrezia and Cathrine whereas Relena and Hilde occupied the table beside Trowa and the other man.
Quatre watched Mariemaia with the people at Trowa's table with curiosity and noticed how comfortable and open she was being with them. Curious about it, Quatre turned his vision to Duo who was sitting across from him and was about to ask how she knew them until he heard another voice speak out to him suddenly, "Hello Quatre, it has been a while."
Turning to the tall woman with short purplish/blackish hair, Quatre smiled and said, "Hello Miss Lucrezia, it has been a while indeed. How have you been?"
"Oh, alright I guess. Although, I have been a little busy with Uni. and everything." Looking to everyone around her table, she turned back to Quatre and asked, "Shall I introduce you to everyone here?"
Quatre nodded in response and replied, "Yes, I would like that, thank you."
Smiling back at him, Lucrezia turned to look at Cathrine who was sitting opposite from her and said, "This is Cathrine Bloom, Trowa's older sister." Hearing her name being mentioned, Cathrine stopped talking to Mariemaia for a moment as she turned her gaze towards Quatre.
"Ah, Quatre is it? Nice to meet you," Cathrine greeted as she held out her hand to him.
"Pleasure to meet you too Miss Cathrine," Quatre replied as he raised his hand to hers, shaking it firmly. Although, one thing he questioned was the mention of her being Trowa?s sister. Why did they have different last names? Plus their appearances weren?t very similar either. Shaking those thoughts out of his head, he figured that it wasn?t his place to ask such things at the moment.
Once Cathrine released her hold on Quatre's hand she raised an eyebrow at him before Lucrezia replied, "He's very polite isn't he?"
"Yeah, I was wondering that myself. I thought I had just misheard him or something. 'Miss' huh? Hehehe, how cute!"
"Yes, he is such a gentleman. He is Relena's boyfriend," Lucrezia added, causing both Quatre and Relena to jump and redden at the mention of that.
"We're just friends!" Both Quatre and Relena said at once, causing the both of them to look at each other speechless. Everyone laughed suddenly at their little outbursts, causing the both of them to redden more as they sunk into their chairs in embarrassment.
"Awww, how cute! Even if you say you aren't together, you two just look simply darling together. I think you two would make a good match," Cathrine teased as she eyed both Quatre and Relena suspiciously.
Lucrezia tried keeping in her laughter at their little act and continued, "Sitting beside Cathrine here is her boyfriend, Treize Khushrenada who is also Mariemaia's uncle if you didn't know already."
"Nice to meet you Quatre," Treize replied as he nodded towards Quatre.
"Yes, nice to meet you too. Although, I am a bit discouraged that I haven't had the chance to meet you sooner since I have been friends with Miss Mariemaia for a while now," Quatre replied sadly.
"Please don't upset yourself over such small matters Quatre; we were bound to meet each other sooner or later. Besides, I know a fair bit about you from being your sister?s fencing teacher, not to mention Marie has said a lot about you as well."
Mariemaia smiled as she sat herself down beside Hilde and said, "Yeah! I was so excited when I first met you Quatre; since that meant another new friend, and what got better is that we gained another great friend because of you." Looking over to Relena she smiled and winked at her as she went to eating her food. Relena looked at Mariemaia thoughtfully at that moment and couldn't help but smile slightly at that. Trowa noticed this as well, and couldn't help but smile at Mariemaia's remark as well. She was always such a sweet and friendly person, always looking to the positive things in people, it was no wonder she was basically friends with the whole senior school.
"Come on guys! We better hurry up since we need to get some shopping done for my party!" Mariemaia announced as she took a mouth full of spaghetti, "I hope Trowa has told you Cathy that you are both invited, you too Lulu."
"Yes, both Trowa and Treize told me about it and I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Cathrine replied, smiling brightly.
"Are you sure you want me to come?" Lucrezia asked uncertainly, "You don't just have to invite me because I am here."
"No way!!! I want you to come, Heero is invited too you know. Basically everyone at school is invited, it's my eighteenth after all so I want to have the bestest time!!!" Mariemaia said, taking a large mouth full of cola afterwards.
"Oh ok, thank you so much Mariemaia," Lucrezia said as she went to take a bite out of her sandwich.
While everyone got into deep conversations with each other about Mariemaia's birthday party, Relena got up from her seat and went to go buy a drink. Trowa took notice of this and went to follow after her since he had wanted to talk to her over a few things for a while now. While he was heading out though, he couldn?t help but take note of the way Quatre was watching him in curiosity as he disappeared around the corner after her.
Relena looked over the fridges for a moment before deciding to just stick with getting a bottle of water. When she closed the door though, she noticed someone standing behind her by the reflection off the glass door. Looking over her shoulder she took notice of it being Trowa and smiled slightly as she went to go pay for her drink. Trowa continued to watch her closely as she paid for her drink but once she started making her way back to the dining area, Trowa said, "Can we talk for a moment?"
Stopping at the sound of Trowa?s request, Relena nodded and turned to face him, she was expecting him to say something like that since it was rather odd of him to just follow her like this if nothing was on his mind. Heading out the cafe, they both started taking a short walk down the wide mall as they walked past many different shops and many different crowds of people their shopping in hand. It wasn't until they reached the centre of the mall that Trowa nodded towards the direction of benches and went to go sit down.
Sitting down beside him, Relena remained silent as she looked towards him, waiting for him to speak out what ever was on his mind.
"...Are you happy with them?" Trowa asked as he turned his emerald eyes towards her. Noticing the way she was looking at him in total confusion, Trowa added, "Duo's group is who I am referring to, are you happy being with them?"
"Of course, why would you ask such a thing?" Relena answered, causing Trowa to stare at her in disbelief. She could see that he wasn't too convinced with her answer, the way he was staring at her confirmed it, but as much as she didn't want to follow up on the subject, she could feel Trowa's searching gaze on her as though it was forcing her to say more.
"They are really nice, all of them. I am happy that they had accepted me into their group but, we had been on different levels from each other for so long that I just can't forget that difference between us."
"... Friends forgive each other; no one is expected to be perfect all the time. I just hope you can see that they aren't going to think less of you if they were to see you for who... you really are."
Looking down at the ground sadly, Relena closed her eyes and shook her head saying, "I, I don't think can, I couldn't. I don't want to burden them with my problems."
"Really? Well what about me? Did you ever think that when you told me things which were troubling you at the time?"
Opening her mouth to speak, she hesitated for a moment and decided to stay silent. He had her there, once again. That was one of the things which annoyed her about Trowa, he always knew what he was talking about and always won with having the last word, no matter what the situation was. His knowledge on people were never wrong, even if he may make assumptions from time to time, he still had a way to make people freeze in shock with what he would speak about them as though he had just read their thoughts... It reminded her of Quatre. While Trowa seemed to read people's heads, Quatre seemed to read people's hearts.
"I understand how you know so much about Duo's group now," Relena suddenly replied, causing Trowa to look at her blankly, "I never knew your sister dated Mariemaia's uncle. Have they been together long?"
"A few years I guess," Trowa answered, "I think they are getting to the stage of considering marriage soon."
"I'm happy for them," Relena answered, smiling slightly.
"Relena, remember what I said to you at Quatre's place that day?" Trowa asked, causing Relena to flinch at the mention of that. Noticing this, Trowa reached out for her chin and tilted her head towards his so that he could get a clear look at her eyes, "Don't forget what I said. For you to be happy, you need to free yourself of these past memories which have been haunting you for years now. You can't heal yourself over on your own, you have been doing this for so long that you have made things harder for yourself. Heero and I have tried helping you, even if you don't want to acknowledge that, it's the truth." Staring at her for a moment, he noticed Relena's eyes turn glassy as she closed her eyes and whispered, "I remember... but why him?"
"He seems to have a gift, a gift to be able to read people's souls. Eyes are like a doorway into your soul, and I feel as though he is one of those people who could dig real deep into your inner self to find what it is that troubles you. Those feelings then swell themselves within his own soul and he uses that to understand why you would be affected by it." Trowa knew this sounded very corny to believe but that day when he confronted Quatre, he was almost certain that he spoke the truth.
Staring at him blankly, Relena wondered if he was beginning to go crazy or something. She felt like laughing at Trowa's words just now but, while she thought about it, it did seem possible. She remembered what Duo said to her at one stage.
'It helps to talk to him you know. He helped me understand things clearer, not to mention that I have learned to cope with everything now. I was just as stubborn about my past as well, but what I find strange about him is the fact that he always seems so understanding you know. Like he can feel your pain or something... Maybe it's just me but it still makes me wonder about him. But getting back to the point, Quatre seems to understand people even without experiencing what ever they went though.'
"I will let you think it over," Trowa suddenly said, causing her to snap out of her thoughts, "I will tell everyone know that you will be back soon." With that said, Trowa began walking back towards the cafe while at the same time, Relena watched him go and whispered, "I wish... things could have been different between us..."
******Flashback******
Parking on the curb by the Winner estate, Trowa got out of the car and began making his way towards the intercom by the front gate. Relena quickly got out of the passenger seat and raced towards him yelling, "Trowa wait!" Trowa was just about to raise his hand to the button before Relena called out to him, turning to Relena he looked at her with a blank expression and waited for her to continue.
Looking through the gates of Quatre's home briefly, Relena turned back to Trowa and asked, "What are we doing here?"
"You should be in there with them," Trowa replied before raising his hand towards the intercom once more.
Taking hold of Trowa's hand, Relena looked at him critically and said, "So you dragged me out of Wufei's home just to bring me here to study, all because I 'should' be here and not his place?"
Unnerved by Relena's actions, Trowa stared down at her and said, "You weren't studying when I was there and as I anticipated, I knew something like that was going to happen." He was referring to the way Wufei had behaved around her. It was lucky that he turned up when he did, otherwise things could have gotten a lot more serious.
Looking at Trowa in confusion, Relena lowered her hand from his and said, "I'm sure, he had a reason..."
"Don't try to cover his actions Relena, you two aren't together anymore so you shouldn't defend him like you are currently doing."
"I needed him to help me with my English exam, how am I going to do it now?"
"Dorothy can help you."
Staring at him blankly for a moment, she looked at him sadly and asked, "Trowa, why did you come to Wufei's place? If you were against me going, why didn't you say anything earlier?"
Staring at her for a moment, Trowa walked towards her and reached out for her arms. Raising them up towards him, he suddenly rolled up her sleeves and revealed what he was hoping not to see. Her gasp in pain earlier on when Wufei grabbed her arms confirmed it. Looking down at the front of her arms, Trowa took note of the numerous finger printed bruises on her arms, most of them were healing over but there were still a few which still had a strong purplish blue colour over them. ?So, it was true that Relena did get grabbed at the hockey stadium??
Relena's eyes widened at what he was doing and tried pulling her arms away from him, but Trowa's grip on her elbows were too strong for her to pull away from.
"... Does this answer your question now?" Trowa said, causing Relena to turn her head off to the side as she stared down at the ground sadly.
"It was my fault!" Relena cried out, "I didn't love him enough, I deserved this."
What suddenly caught her off guard though was when Trowa suddenly flipped her arms over, not expecting to find bruises but something more damaging, more life threatening in other words. This time when Relena pulled away from him, Trowa decided to let her go since he saw what he originally wanted to see.
Staring down at the ground in shame, Relena felt tears coming to her eyes again a she tried holding them back. She didn't pay any attention to what Trowa was doing but after a moment of her trying to gain self control again she suddenly heard him say, "The gates open Relena." Turning to look at him, she went under a massive panic when Trowa was already making his way to the front door.
Running through the gates as they closed after her, Relena grabbed hold of Trowa's arm and said, "You won't say anything about this will you? Please say you won't."
Keeping his gaze forward he asked, "Why not?"
"I don't want to cause anymore trouble, this is my problem; I don't want anyone else getting mixed up in it. Please understand why." Leaning her head on his back, Relena closed her eyes and whispered, "I deserve what ever is thrown at me..."
Sighing in defeat, Trowa looked over his shoulder and said, "... It has nothing to do with me so I have no right to speak of other people's business." With that said; Trowa began walking forward and started heading up the steps to the front door of Quatre's home. Trowa had to admit that he was impressed; the Winners certainly didn't hesitate to spoil themselves over their riches. What surprised him though was when he noticed Quatre staring at him blankly as both he and Relena approached the door.
Quatre couldn't speak, he was confused and worried all at the same time, wasn't Relena suppose to be at Wufei's place? Why was Trowa suddenly with her? Trowa just stared at him blankly as well, he could see the questioning gaze Quatre had fixed on him and waited for him to make the first move. Relena looked between the two in total confusion, they looked a though they were trying to stare each other down or something.
"Who's at the door Quatre!!!" Mariemaia's voice echoed as she looked over Quatre's shoulder, "Ah!! Trowa!! Relena!! It's so great to see you both!!" Pushing her way past Quatre, Mariemaia smiled brightly at Relena as she approached her but once she saw her face; Mariemaia's smile withered away at the sadness detected in Relena's eyes. Turning to look at Trowa in curiosity, she noticed him looking towards Relena as well and nodded to Mariemaia as he turned to leave. He would talk to her later, that?s what he was indicating to her.
Looking towards Relena once more, she smiled slightly as she guided her into the house saying, "Wow Rellie, I'm so glad you could make it, you should see the amount of work we have been doing. Absolutely nothing hahaha!!!" Relena could tell that she was trying to cheer her up, but Relena couldn't even force herself to smile at the moment.
"Wait!" Quatre called out to Trowa as he began walking after him. Trowa didn't stop though, he continued walking towards the front gate as though he hadn't heard Quatre at all.
"What did Wufei do to her?" Quatre suddenly asked, causing Trowa to stop in his steps, "What happened between them? What made you suddenly bring her here?"
Turning his head towards Quatre, Trowa stared at him expressionless for a moment before asking, "What makes you think Wufei did something to her?"
"It's not hard to figure out that much Trowa. I find it quite odd that she suddenly turns up at my house obviously very depressed about something, then seeing you here to just drop her off and leave doesn't exactly make sense to me either."
"... Don't you want her here?" Trowa asked.
"I didn't say that, I am merely asking what happened."
"What if I tell you that it isn't my place to tell you someone else's personal problems?"
"What if I say that I can't help her the way you want me to unless you give me some answers," Quatre suddenly said, causing Trowa to stare at him speechless. If anything he was expecting Quatre to say, he definitely wasn't expecting to hear that since, that was actually his reason for bring her here in the first place. Turning to face his whole body towards Quatre, Trowa slowly walked up to him, keeping his eyes fixed on Quatre?s as he did so.
"If you can read my thoughts like you did just now, why would you need me to explain Relena's pain?"
"I can see that she is hurt, lost, lonely and depressed, but I can't read people's minds, no one can do that but if you know why she is hurting then why aren't you helping her?"
"I have tried, but she has said nothing to me. I know a lot about her I will admit but it is different hearing things from some else's mouth compared to her own. I am sure you can understand the differences. The thing I have noticed about you though is that you seem to be able to understand someone else's pain as though you had experienced it yourself. If anyone is going to help her, you would be the best person for the job."
"I am no miracle worker Trowa; I can't just magically wish away her pain like it was nothing."
"No, I don't expect that but your feelings for her would make it almost seem possible," Trowa suddenly said, causing Quatre to stare at him wide eyed. Now it was Quatre's turn to be put on the spot, except the difference was that he had nothing to say back at that, causing Trowa to smirk at him slightly.
Turning to leave once again, Trowa exited out the gate and headed towards his car. Within a few moments, his car started up and he was gone, causing Quatre to stare endlessly at the gate where he last saw him go, questioning himself on what had just been said between them.
******End of Flashback******
'You can never wish away your problems, but trying to pretend as though they don't affect you is what makes things worse for yourself. Everyone has to face them sooner or later in order to live a happier life. Refusing to recognize them while they are still fresh in your mind and soul will lead to you finding it harder and harder top cope with everyday life, and will eventually lead you to death. Relena, you can't remain hidden in your own little world of despair forever, I just hope Quatre will be able to break through your barriers, for your sake. The problem with this though is that Quatre can't continue carrying everyone else's pain like this too, he needs to stop and recognize his own pain as well. Hopefully you two will be able to help each other out, but with the way things are going, I feel as though only one of you will find happiness, whereas the other will continue down the road of sadness.'
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Author's Note: Thank you to those who have been reviewing my story. I am sorry that I haven't updated sooner but I have been busy with school work (and still am
)Freelight01, I have taken what you have said to me into account and yes, no more screwing around (well, sort of). I won't lie and say that I won't still be adding suspense to this story from here on out but answers are going to be put forward now. Which was also another reason I took so long updating
.This is the ninth version I have written of Chapter 11, that's how much I have been playing around with this. I had to re-think through the whole plot line in order to start revealing things to everyone, but I didn't want to make it appear as though I got desperate and decided to throw it all out at once, it will be stated one step at a time. I know not much was stated in this chapter but maybe... just maybe it has revealed a little about Relena, not enough, but some. More will be stated about her in the next part of the chapter, along with Heero, Wufei and Sylvia's group, HOPEFULLY. I have a tendancy to change ideas around all the time so it could change I don't know. I just want to let you know that everything is going to be revealing itself in the chapters to come.
I apologise once again about my endless 'unanswered-questions' saga. And I have taken note of what you all want to know, don't think I have over looked anything, it will ALL be answered. Well, enough of me now, see ya!! I will be busy from here on out so I won't be able to update every week like I use to but I will work on this when ever I can.
Email: neon_fantasy@hotmail.com
Well, I can't wait for the next chapter to come out! 