[Fic] Heero Gets an Idea ch 2
Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2003 9:01 pm
Heero woke to an aching head that throbbed to the rythm of his heartbeat and a stomach that felt as if it were trying its damnedest to crawl out of his thraot. He tried to supress his rebellious body with hs iron will, but for once it refused to obey. Setting his leg felt like childs play compared to the agony pounding through his skull.
<Oh kill me. I'm gonna be sick.>
Once again he bent his will to forcing his queasy stomach into obedience, or at least compliance, because of the two, the headache was the easiest to bear. And finally, it ever so slowly began to obey him. Heero sighed a little in relief that he wasn't going to lose his previous dinner all over the carpeting of his apartment and sat up in bed. His headache went up another notch, but it was nothing he couldn't handle.
That was when he became aware of another sound. There was water rushing through the pipes in his apartment, and the sound of the shower pattering down coming from his bathroom, but Heero was the sole tenant of his flat.
<Oh gods, how much did I drink last night?> he wondered. <And who is that using my shower?>
He wasn't sure if he should be hoping for a stranger or someone he knew. It couldn't be an enemy, an enemy wouldn't bother taking a shower before they killed him (perhaps after, but not before). Maybe it was someone who'd helped him home the night before... Nothing need have happened. Maybe nothing did happen. But years and years of training had brought basic defense to the level of instinct and he slowly reached his hand under his pillow for the handgun he kept there. He closed his eyes and feighned sleep, waiting for the intruder to come out of his bathroom.
The sound of the pipes cut off a few minutes later and heero waited, resigned to whatever fate awaited him from the unknown person using his shower because his mind was a complete blank after his third bottle. Mental note, he would have to work on his level of tolerence, someday it might be neccessary for a mission to outdrink another and his low tolerance would be a liability.
There was the sound of humming from inside the bathroom and Heeros eyes flew wide open as he saw who the person was that walked out of his bathroom. He stared in shock (even as he automaticall whipped out his gun, aimed and cocked it at the intruder)at the sight of Relena, dressed in morning-mist-grey business suit pants and a blue-white silk blouse (that Heero could see the outline of her bra through as well as discern one or two other features she hid under her suits) emerged from the bathroom humming cheerfully.
<What in the holy hell is going on here?!> he wondered as she smiled at him and winked in a conspirational manner, completely ignoring the gun he had aimed at her. So what else was new? Heero lowered the gun and put it away and merely sat there looking at her and trying to fathom why she was in his apartment, using his shower.
" 'Morning Honey," she greeted as she walked over and casually pecked him on the cheek then wandered over to his draped windows.
"H-honey?" he repeated stupidly, his expression completely bewildered.
"It's a beautiful morning isn't it mi amor?" she inquired as she pulled apart the heavy drapes and Heero sheilded his eyes. He liked those drapes closed! In the whole time he'd lived in his flat they'd never been opened, and opening them to let the goddamned sunshine in when he was hung over was just downright unkind. She obliviously breathed in the fresh morning air with a curiously wide smile as she said
"The perfect morning to start off the rest of our lives."
"Th-the-the rest of our lives?" he repeated a worried expression begining to form on his face. He really didn't like the sound of that...at all. It sounded rather ominous.
"Yes of course darling," she assured him, her smile bright as the morning sunshine itself; but there was something, oddly predatory about it. Like a cat with a mouse in its paws.
"Darling?" he queiried. He was begining to feel like a simpleton, it seemed that the only things he could say this morning were to repeat the last thing she'd said.
That was when Relena treated him to the full effect of her beautiful blue eyes. They began to cloud with worry and dew up around the edges, her beautiful glossy lips formed into a perfect moue as her smooth brow pucked with concern. It would take a far stronger man than Heero to have to see those pretty eyes of hers even look like they were going to cry and not do anything and everything in his power to stop that.
"You-you mean... you don't remember?" Her eyes were beginning to brim over with hurt. Her lip started to tremble and there was a small sniffle.
"Uhhh...." he temporized, his mind racing to peice together the events of last night. He remembered entering the bar, but then the details just got fuzzier and fuzier. He didn't even remember getting home, and he certainly didn't remember how Relena had gotten here!
Wait aminute. They didn't... they hadn't... had they?
"Er... you helped me home?" he guessed hopefully.
"You *don't* remember!" she cried in distress. "Oh Heero how could you?! It was the most wonderful romantic night of my life and you're saying you don't remember?"
"I never said that," he protested, trying to calm her down.
"How could you forget your own wedding night?!" she said in dismay.
Heero looked like he'd been smacked in the back of the head with a board.
While on the outside Relena was all distressed-bride, on the inside of her there was a little chibi Relena with devil horns and a forked tail that was convulsing with laughter.
"W-w-w-wedding? As in married?" he said. Heero had never once in his life stuttered, but he seemed to be developing one rather quickly. He vowed he was never going to touch another bottle of sake again.
"Do you know of any other sort of wedding?" she inquired as she plopped into a chair at his tiny breakfast table/desk and buried her face in her arms. It looked a lot like Relena was weeping, but she'd actually found she could no longer hold back her laughter, and it came out in short breathy gasps that made her look like she was crying silently.
"Don't cry Relena... just tell me what happened last night," he said slowly, taking a deep breath. Relena got up and pretended to regain her composure, her face still flushed with mirth but she hid it well. She wasn't a top politician without being able to control her expression under any and all circumstances.
Her face lit up and she wasn't able to restrain herself from clasping her hands like her greatest ally and rival Dorothy.
"It was so romantic!" Relena gushed, sounding frighteningly like Dorothy. "You came to my window last night and under the light of the full moon you told me you thought I was making a mistake by marrying that other man... and that it was you I should be marrying instead."
Relena's voice sounded oddly quiet on that last part, her voice had slowly seemed to fade from her syrupy sweet enthusiasm to something more meaningful. But then her tone perked right back up to its former cheerfulness.
"So we went out to the strip and found an all-night drive-through wedding-chapel, and you swept me off my feet and carried me to the alter, then when we arrived at your room you carried me across the threshold. It was a grand adventure and when we got back here, we were married!" she chirped.
"Where's the marriage certificate?" he asked.
"Right here," she said happily, thrusting it into his face. It certainly did look like the genuine article, even down to the finger smudge on the official stamp. There were his names and hers signed in bold black ink and notorized by some minister from "the Church of Blue Suede Deliverence." Oh god. He'd been married to Relena by an Elvis impersonator.
Relena felt a jolt of satisfaction as well as a small twinge of guilt as she looked at the stricken face of her late-night kidnapper. Everything was going according to plan and by the end of the day he will have learned his lesson well. Never ever take liberties with Relena Darlian... ever.
The fake marriage liscence had been easy for her to procure, knowing as she did or sorts of people throughout the course of her travels. She had called an old aqquaintence of hers soon after she'd perfected her plan in order to put it in motion. Said aqquaintence was a master at forging realistic-looking official papers and had made Relena up her fake identities when she'd had to lay low after after a few attacks. A useful sort of person to know in a case like this. She'd had him make out the very realistic looking fake mariage certifcate and fax it to a nearby 24 hour copy-shop where the special printers there could handle the details he'd added like the fake finger smudges on the ink of the seal-stamp and the high quality paper. She'd been up since early this morning getting the papers and picking out the rings. She was accustomed to rising early in the course of her work and she wasn't the one who had spent the previous evening drunk as a sailor on shore leave.
"Isn't it wonderful, darling?" she needled as he stared blankly at the document that pronounced them legally man and wife.
"Hey, why'd you keep your maiden name?" was the first thing he could think of to say. "Shouldn't you be called Relena Yuy?"
"Oh don't be so old fashioned," she said scornfully. "Only silly little traditional women change their names when they marry these days. Besides, if I changed my name then I'd have to change my stationary and the plaque on my office and my pens everything else. And to the Public, I'll always be Relena Darlian, so I'll keep it as my working title and in private you may call me whatever you like."
She was in front of his mirror now, checking over her appearence (and making certain that she was able to completely contain the smile of amusement that threatened to burst from her everytime she looked over at him).
"I'd usually be traveling to my next scheduled assignment right now Pookie," she said barely able to contain the laughter as her ridiculous pet names got worse and worse. "But all the activity of last night left me pretty exhausted so I slept in late, cuddly-kins." Oh yes, he was starting to develop a tick over his right eye.
"Activity? What kind of activity?"
The devil behorned and betailed chibi Relena was now on the floor pounding it with her fists at the sight of the look on Heeros face. It took every single last ounce of her formidable self control not to burst out laughing at him and give herself away.
"Well if you can't remember, I'm certainly not going to tell you," she said dismissively, with a sniff.
Heero would have protested that but Relena continued
"I can't belive you don't remember anything, this has to be the worse exprience of the bridal kind on record...," she moaned dejectedly. Then her face perked up when she said
"Buuut, I'm going to let you make it up to me!" she said with an air of one coferring a great favor.
"Make it up how?" Heero asked suspiciously while part of his only half functioning brain was trying to figure out what he was supposed to be making up in the first place.
"You can take me on our honeymoon!"
* * *
End chapter... what chapter was I on???
<Oh kill me. I'm gonna be sick.>
Once again he bent his will to forcing his queasy stomach into obedience, or at least compliance, because of the two, the headache was the easiest to bear. And finally, it ever so slowly began to obey him. Heero sighed a little in relief that he wasn't going to lose his previous dinner all over the carpeting of his apartment and sat up in bed. His headache went up another notch, but it was nothing he couldn't handle.
That was when he became aware of another sound. There was water rushing through the pipes in his apartment, and the sound of the shower pattering down coming from his bathroom, but Heero was the sole tenant of his flat.
<Oh gods, how much did I drink last night?> he wondered. <And who is that using my shower?>
He wasn't sure if he should be hoping for a stranger or someone he knew. It couldn't be an enemy, an enemy wouldn't bother taking a shower before they killed him (perhaps after, but not before). Maybe it was someone who'd helped him home the night before... Nothing need have happened. Maybe nothing did happen. But years and years of training had brought basic defense to the level of instinct and he slowly reached his hand under his pillow for the handgun he kept there. He closed his eyes and feighned sleep, waiting for the intruder to come out of his bathroom.
The sound of the pipes cut off a few minutes later and heero waited, resigned to whatever fate awaited him from the unknown person using his shower because his mind was a complete blank after his third bottle. Mental note, he would have to work on his level of tolerence, someday it might be neccessary for a mission to outdrink another and his low tolerance would be a liability.
There was the sound of humming from inside the bathroom and Heeros eyes flew wide open as he saw who the person was that walked out of his bathroom. He stared in shock (even as he automaticall whipped out his gun, aimed and cocked it at the intruder)at the sight of Relena, dressed in morning-mist-grey business suit pants and a blue-white silk blouse (that Heero could see the outline of her bra through as well as discern one or two other features she hid under her suits) emerged from the bathroom humming cheerfully.
<What in the holy hell is going on here?!> he wondered as she smiled at him and winked in a conspirational manner, completely ignoring the gun he had aimed at her. So what else was new? Heero lowered the gun and put it away and merely sat there looking at her and trying to fathom why she was in his apartment, using his shower.
" 'Morning Honey," she greeted as she walked over and casually pecked him on the cheek then wandered over to his draped windows.
"H-honey?" he repeated stupidly, his expression completely bewildered.
"It's a beautiful morning isn't it mi amor?" she inquired as she pulled apart the heavy drapes and Heero sheilded his eyes. He liked those drapes closed! In the whole time he'd lived in his flat they'd never been opened, and opening them to let the goddamned sunshine in when he was hung over was just downright unkind. She obliviously breathed in the fresh morning air with a curiously wide smile as she said
"The perfect morning to start off the rest of our lives."
"Th-the-the rest of our lives?" he repeated a worried expression begining to form on his face. He really didn't like the sound of that...at all. It sounded rather ominous.
"Yes of course darling," she assured him, her smile bright as the morning sunshine itself; but there was something, oddly predatory about it. Like a cat with a mouse in its paws.
"Darling?" he queiried. He was begining to feel like a simpleton, it seemed that the only things he could say this morning were to repeat the last thing she'd said.
That was when Relena treated him to the full effect of her beautiful blue eyes. They began to cloud with worry and dew up around the edges, her beautiful glossy lips formed into a perfect moue as her smooth brow pucked with concern. It would take a far stronger man than Heero to have to see those pretty eyes of hers even look like they were going to cry and not do anything and everything in his power to stop that.
"You-you mean... you don't remember?" Her eyes were beginning to brim over with hurt. Her lip started to tremble and there was a small sniffle.
"Uhhh...." he temporized, his mind racing to peice together the events of last night. He remembered entering the bar, but then the details just got fuzzier and fuzier. He didn't even remember getting home, and he certainly didn't remember how Relena had gotten here!
Wait aminute. They didn't... they hadn't... had they?
"Er... you helped me home?" he guessed hopefully.
"You *don't* remember!" she cried in distress. "Oh Heero how could you?! It was the most wonderful romantic night of my life and you're saying you don't remember?"
"I never said that," he protested, trying to calm her down.
"How could you forget your own wedding night?!" she said in dismay.
Heero looked like he'd been smacked in the back of the head with a board.
While on the outside Relena was all distressed-bride, on the inside of her there was a little chibi Relena with devil horns and a forked tail that was convulsing with laughter.
"W-w-w-wedding? As in married?" he said. Heero had never once in his life stuttered, but he seemed to be developing one rather quickly. He vowed he was never going to touch another bottle of sake again.
"Do you know of any other sort of wedding?" she inquired as she plopped into a chair at his tiny breakfast table/desk and buried her face in her arms. It looked a lot like Relena was weeping, but she'd actually found she could no longer hold back her laughter, and it came out in short breathy gasps that made her look like she was crying silently.
"Don't cry Relena... just tell me what happened last night," he said slowly, taking a deep breath. Relena got up and pretended to regain her composure, her face still flushed with mirth but she hid it well. She wasn't a top politician without being able to control her expression under any and all circumstances.
Her face lit up and she wasn't able to restrain herself from clasping her hands like her greatest ally and rival Dorothy.
"It was so romantic!" Relena gushed, sounding frighteningly like Dorothy. "You came to my window last night and under the light of the full moon you told me you thought I was making a mistake by marrying that other man... and that it was you I should be marrying instead."
Relena's voice sounded oddly quiet on that last part, her voice had slowly seemed to fade from her syrupy sweet enthusiasm to something more meaningful. But then her tone perked right back up to its former cheerfulness.
"So we went out to the strip and found an all-night drive-through wedding-chapel, and you swept me off my feet and carried me to the alter, then when we arrived at your room you carried me across the threshold. It was a grand adventure and when we got back here, we were married!" she chirped.
"Where's the marriage certificate?" he asked.
"Right here," she said happily, thrusting it into his face. It certainly did look like the genuine article, even down to the finger smudge on the official stamp. There were his names and hers signed in bold black ink and notorized by some minister from "the Church of Blue Suede Deliverence." Oh god. He'd been married to Relena by an Elvis impersonator.
Relena felt a jolt of satisfaction as well as a small twinge of guilt as she looked at the stricken face of her late-night kidnapper. Everything was going according to plan and by the end of the day he will have learned his lesson well. Never ever take liberties with Relena Darlian... ever.
The fake marriage liscence had been easy for her to procure, knowing as she did or sorts of people throughout the course of her travels. She had called an old aqquaintence of hers soon after she'd perfected her plan in order to put it in motion. Said aqquaintence was a master at forging realistic-looking official papers and had made Relena up her fake identities when she'd had to lay low after after a few attacks. A useful sort of person to know in a case like this. She'd had him make out the very realistic looking fake mariage certifcate and fax it to a nearby 24 hour copy-shop where the special printers there could handle the details he'd added like the fake finger smudges on the ink of the seal-stamp and the high quality paper. She'd been up since early this morning getting the papers and picking out the rings. She was accustomed to rising early in the course of her work and she wasn't the one who had spent the previous evening drunk as a sailor on shore leave.
"Isn't it wonderful, darling?" she needled as he stared blankly at the document that pronounced them legally man and wife.
"Hey, why'd you keep your maiden name?" was the first thing he could think of to say. "Shouldn't you be called Relena Yuy?"
"Oh don't be so old fashioned," she said scornfully. "Only silly little traditional women change their names when they marry these days. Besides, if I changed my name then I'd have to change my stationary and the plaque on my office and my pens everything else. And to the Public, I'll always be Relena Darlian, so I'll keep it as my working title and in private you may call me whatever you like."
She was in front of his mirror now, checking over her appearence (and making certain that she was able to completely contain the smile of amusement that threatened to burst from her everytime she looked over at him).
"I'd usually be traveling to my next scheduled assignment right now Pookie," she said barely able to contain the laughter as her ridiculous pet names got worse and worse. "But all the activity of last night left me pretty exhausted so I slept in late, cuddly-kins." Oh yes, he was starting to develop a tick over his right eye.
"Activity? What kind of activity?"
The devil behorned and betailed chibi Relena was now on the floor pounding it with her fists at the sight of the look on Heeros face. It took every single last ounce of her formidable self control not to burst out laughing at him and give herself away.
"Well if you can't remember, I'm certainly not going to tell you," she said dismissively, with a sniff.
Heero would have protested that but Relena continued
"I can't belive you don't remember anything, this has to be the worse exprience of the bridal kind on record...," she moaned dejectedly. Then her face perked up when she said
"Buuut, I'm going to let you make it up to me!" she said with an air of one coferring a great favor.
"Make it up how?" Heero asked suspiciously while part of his only half functioning brain was trying to figure out what he was supposed to be making up in the first place.
"You can take me on our honeymoon!"
* * *
End chapter... what chapter was I on???
I *LOVE* this story!!! :razz: I can't believe Relena's 
It's perfect!!! This story idea deals 
Heero, run now.
Elyn Yuy
Boy, Heero totally deserves it!! Can't wait for the next chapter!!!!