Blissful Ignorance

Posted: **Tue Jun 17, 2003 2:32 pm**

Authors: Caliborn and Girl Wonder. 
 
Notes: Well, this fic is from ages ago . . . Back when Girl
Wonder and I weren't even in High School yet. O.o; But enjoy if you will.
^_^ I found this hiding in a file a few weeks ago, tries to clean it up,
and decided to post it. This is actually two parts combined into one . .
. if people like it, we will continue it! We certainly had a lot of fun making
these first two parts. And, um, keep in mind that this was written quite
awhile ago. ^_^ Don't make reviews -too- harsh! 
 
Warnings: This is a parody of GW, based on the popular game show Who's
Line is it Anyway. Extreme character bashing (of them all, pretty much) and
OOCness as well as extreme ICness. ^_^ Sit back and have fun-- and if you're
an easily offended person, I recommend not reading this. If you like comedy,
go right ahead. 
 
Disclaimer: These authors do not own the rights of Who's Line is it
Anyway or Gundam Wing (Gosh darn it.) This fiction is non-profitable.
 
 
<CENTER>
<BIG><BIG>Who's Gundam is it Anyway?</BIG></BIG> 
(A Gundam Parody)
</CENTER>

 
 
 
*Noin and Zechs are at a podium, the host's of the show. Audience claps madly
as theme music plays.* 
 
Noin: *Clears her throat* Goooood evening and welcome to . . . 
 
Zechs: Who's Gundam is it Anyway? 
 
Noin: The game show where lines are made up, the points don't matter, and
you're lucky if you live through it. Zechs: The points matter about as much
as Heero pointing a gun at Relena. 
 
*Suddenly, from the background of the stage* Omae o korosu. 
 
Zechs: *Gulps* Eh . . . 
 
*Also from the back: SMACK* Heero! Come on! 
 
Heero: What? 
 
Noin: *Sweatdrops* Um, introducing our players . . . 
 
*The curtain lifts up, revealing . . .* 
 
Noin: Heero Yuy- 
 
*A voice speaks up from the shadows* Also known as Spandex Boy! 
 
Heero: *Looks around with infamous Heero Yuy Glare of Death (tm), ready to
kill* 
 
Noin: *Sighs* Hilde . . .*Looks to Zechs because she can't remember the last
name* 
 
Zechs: *Shrug* 
 
Noin: Um . . . Right. *Goes on* Relena Peacecraft, 
 
Relena: *Nods in diplomatic acknowledgement* 
 
Noin: Trowa Barton, Quatre Winner, Duo Maxwell- 
 
Duo: *Stands up and bows* 
 
Noin: And Dorothy Catalonia, 
 
*Same voice from behind the shadows.* Crazy eye-brow chick! 
 
Dorothy: *Stands up, looking for murder.* Miss Relena? A gun please? 
 
Relena: *Blinks, startled* No! I'm saving that for Heero! 
 
Heero: *Raises and eyebrow* 
 
Noin: *Deep sigh* 
 
Zechs: *Whispers* This is going no where, fast. 
 
Noin: . . . And finally, Chang Wufei. 
 
Wufei: *Stands in outrage* Why did you put me last, woman?! 
 
Noin: *Gulps and looks toward Zechs.* 
 
Zechs: . . . Er, alphabetical order, of course. 
 
Wufei: *Scowls and sits.* 
 
Zechs: Moving onward. For our first game, we will play 'Party Quirks'. Relena,
you're the host. Dorothy, Duo, Trowa, and Wufei will be the guests. 
 
Relena: *Nods calmly and goes to center stage.* 
 
Zechs: The rest of you have certain quirks written on your cards, which you
will have to act out, in hopes Relena can guess your quirk. 
 
Noin: I would like to take this moment to remind the audience that the players
have never seen the cards before, despite all the Heero Yuy threats. 
 
*As the players get ready, various expressions consist of: wide eyes, scowls,
stares, and one 'oh God, no' expression.* 
 
Zechs & Noin: *Conceal smiles* We'll ring you in one at a time. 
 
*Ring* 
 
Dorothy: Oh man. . . *Text under her suddenly appears, reading: "Crazy War
Freak." Relena can not see it.* 
 
Dorothy: *Grumbles.* I'm Dorothy! I- 
 
Relena: *Instantly.* You're a crazy war freak! 
 
*The audience cheers.* 
 
*Zechs rings the bell again.* 
 
Duo: *Text under him suddenly appears, reading: "Cross
Dresser." Relena can not see it.* . . . Lucky she doesn't know about my personal
life! 
 
Relena: *Blinks.* What? 
 
Duo: Eh-heh, never mind . . . *Strikes a pose.* Think I have a nice figure?
*Walks off on tiptoes.* 
 
Relena: *Stares after him* 
 
*Doorbell rings again, and now Trowa steps up.* 
 
Trowa: *Text under him reads: "Mime." He shakes Relena's hand and walks off
silently.* 
 
Relena: . . .Um, himself? 
 
Zechs: Very close . . . 
 
*Doorbell rings again. Wufei steps up, murder written all across his face.*
 
 
Wufei: *Text under him reads, simply, "A Woman." (We'll let you think about
that.)* 
 
Relena: *Notices the expression on his face and steps back.* 
 
Wufei: *Growls.* 
 
Trowa: *Feeling an invisible wall.* 
 
Duo: *Striking various poses.* 
 
Wufei: *Busy insulting himself.* 
 
Relena: Oh, I know! *Points, to Trowa, Duo, and Wufei, respectively.* He's
a mime, he's a cross dresser, and he's-- *Pauses and then walks calmly over
to Zechs and continues, more softly,* --Gonna kill you. You gave him that?!
*Whispers what Wufei is.* 
 
Zechs: *Beams* Correct! Good job, little sis. *Proudly pinches her cheek.* 
 
Relena: Millardo! *Wrinkles her nose and steps back, then, in a pouting
tone,* I'm sixteen! God! 
 
Zechs: *Turns back to the rest of the players.* You may take your seats.
 
 
Relena: *Rolls her eyes, then bravely walks over to Wufei.* Don't worry.
I won't call you that. 
 
Wufei: *Twitching, he grumbles.* Get away from me. Now. 
 

<BIG><BIG>Event two: Relena
and Dorothy- Don't put them together.</Big></Big>

 
Noin: For our next event, we will play something called: 'The Question Game'. The
way you play is that we will give you a scene, and you will have to act it
out accordingly. However, you can only speak in questions, or you lose. The players
will be: Relena, Dorothy, Heero, Duo, Trowa, and Hilde. 
 
The players: *All take their spots, Heero and Duo face each other on stage,
with Relena and Trowa lined up behind Duo, and Hilde and Dorothy behind Heero.*
 
 
Zechs: Now, the scene will be: One of you is trying to infiltrate an enemy
base. When I ring the buzzer, you may start. I will also ring the buzzer
when you mess up. Ready? Go. 
 
*BUZZ . . .*<o:p></o:p> 
 
Heero: Have you ever heard of 'The Ambiguously Gay Duo'? *This said in a
tone as innocent as Heero can possibly be.* 
 
Duo: *Blinks, sputters* 
 
*BUZZ . . .* 
 
Noin: May I remind everyone to stick
to the scene? 
 
Duo: Damn you, Heero. *Walks off to behind Relena.* 
 
Hilde: *Steps up.* Can I help you? 
 
Heero: Where are the enemy's secret files? 
 
Hilde: Don't you think I would tell you if I could? 
 
Heero: What if I said I'd kill you if you didn't? 
 
Hilde: *Pauses . . .* Um . . . 
 
*BUZZ . . .* 
 
Hilde: No fair . . . *Stalks off.* 
 
Heero: *Feeling triumphant* 
 
Relena: *Steps up.* Heero, will you please kill me now? 
 
Heero: *Eyes widen, and he pauses.* Uh . . . why? 
 
Relena: Aren't you always telling me you will? . . . Do you need a gun? *Hands
him one.* 
 
Heero: I . . . uh . . . no? 
 
*BUZZ . . .* 
 
Heero: *Scowls* Omea o korosu. *Walks to behind Hilde.* 
 
Relena: *Calls to Heero:* Great! Can't wait! 
 
Dorothy: *Walks up* Why not act your age, Miss Relena? 
 
Relena: *Eyes narrow* Why haven't you cut off your strange eyebrows yet?
 
 
Noin: Stick to the scene! 
 
Dorothy: *Ignores her and scowls at Relena* Why don't you just kill
yourself if you want to die so badly? 
 
Relena: *Angrily* Don't you know that's
his job? *Points at Heero.* 
 
Heero: *Blinks, a bit lost.* 
 
Dorothy: *Eyes narrow.* Want me to step in for him? 
 
Relena: Do you really want to say
my name every fifteen seconds? 
 
Dorothy: Why don't you just marry him? 
 
Relena: How old do you think I am? 
 
Noin: Come on! *Rings buzzer* 
 
Dorothy: Aren't you old enough to go chasing after him? 
 
Heero: *-.-* Will you two please leave me alone? 
 
Relena: *Glances at Heero, apologetically, and then turns back to Dorothy
and moves on to offense.* Why don't you go marry Quatre? 
 
Quatre: *From the back of the stage, biiiig gulp* 
 
Dorothy: Why don't you leave him out of this? 
 
Relena: And what's with those goggles? 
 
Dorothy: Why don't you take that back? 
 
Noin: *Pressing buzzer over and over again.* 
 
Relena: What, you haven't told
him yet? 
 
Trowa: *Raises an eyebrow towards Quatre.* 
 
Quatre: *Sinks lower in his chair.* 
 
Dorothy: *Eyes widen.* How did you find out about that? 
 
Relena: Isn't it obvious? 
 
Dorothy: *Turning red* Aren't you a pacifist? 
 
Relena: Isn't there always time for change? *Smiles* 
 
Noin: *Gives up at this point* 
 
Relena and Dorothy: *Keep on with insults, loyally in constant question format.
. .* 
 
Zechs: . . . Time for a Commercial Break! 
 
COMERCIAL: 
 
Annoying Announcer: How Quatre Winner eats a Reeses Peanut Butter cup. 
 
Quatre: *Holding one* Please, run away . . . You have to run away . . . 
 
RPC: *Hoesn't move* 
 
Quatre: *Eats it* I told you to go! 
 
Announcer: There's no wrong way.. 
 
*Shows an army of RPCs running like mad* 
 
Announcer: To eat a Reeses! 
 
 
<IEnd Commercial 
 
 
*Back at the studio, Relena and Dorothy
are still fighting, game forgotten.* 
 
Zechs: *Looks pointingly towards Heero and Quatre* 
 
Heero & Quatre: *Sigh. They both go over and drag the bickering two back
to the seats.* 
 
Relena & Dorothy: *Don't seem to care, still bickering.* 
 
Heero: *Looks to Quatre.* 
 
Quatre: *Sighs, pulls out a gun and points it at Dorothy.* Please shut up,
I don't want to kill anyone. 
 
Dorothy: *Eyes widen as she sees the gun, she shuts up* 
 
Relena: A threat like that won't work on me, Heero. *^.^* 
 
Heero: Actually, I was going to threaten to leave you alone if you can't
shut up. 
 
Relena: Oh. *Becomes quiet instantly.* 
 
Noin: *Turns to Zechs.* Do we dare go on? 
 
******* 
 
Notes: . . . And yeah. ^_^;; Like? Dislike? Anyway, listen! If you would
like us to continues, we need help! For anyone who has seen Who's Line is
it Anyway, you might note that the audience gives a lot of ideas for some
of the games. So, if you will, please help us out! We need: Scene ideas for
the game Scenes from a Hat, (Like "World's worst janitor" or, "What Treize
does when he runs out of roses".) and Line ideas for the game "Who's Line?",
which are little things the characters have to randomly say in the middle
of a scene. Anyway . . . that's about all . . . hope you liked it!

Posted: **Wed Jun 18, 2003 11:33 pm**

HAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!

ha.

That was crazy! This is the first fic in a really long time that really made me laugh so hard I almost friggin wet myself.

I LOVE THE REESE'S AD!!! Run away, little peanut butter cups!!! Run!!!

Relena: Do you really want to say
my name every fifteen seconds?

That's great... just greatness...

-Cherry

Posted: **Thu Jun 19, 2003 9:56 pm**

I read a story just like this but it was G Gundam characters. This one was way funnier.

Posted: **Tue Jun 24, 2003 8:10 pm**

THAT WAS SO HILARIOUS!
~rolling on floor clutching stomach~

Posted: **Tue Aug 26, 2003 9:49 pm**

LOVED IT!

Needs a "song-styles" chapter, though.

Posted: **Fri Oct 03, 2003 5:53 pm**

Hmmm...*scratches head* I can't think of any idea to continue this with. But I want to compliment it 'cause it's funny AND it's FUNNY*. There.

*There's a diff. between the two. There's funny, and then there is FUNNY.

Posted: **Wed Mar 10, 2004 12:46 pm**

great!

more please!

dorothy & relena cool

owch - sore jaw from laughing

Posted: **Sun Mar 14, 2004 1:51 pm**

This is really good! You should do much more! I have to start watching Who's Line Is It Anyway again.

Posted: **Sun Mar 14, 2004 2:58 pm**

Ah yes, this was amusing. Pitting Dorothy and Relena together is my favourite skit by far. Poor Quatre.
Well, it's off to the next chapter!!!
[swishing of a super hero cloak]
Dun dun dun.

Posted: **Fri Apr 09, 2004 8:45 am**

That WAS funny! Hahahahaha! *she runs laughing like a moron*