My Tourniquet (part one of two songifcs)
Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2003 6:00 pm
A.N.-Alright, this is part one of a two part songfic story. I did this as a one time thing, but then there was this challenge for "Black Rose Immortal" and I didn't have anywhere to begin that with...so here is the beginning of that! Enjoy!
"My Tourniquet"
By: Kanya Barton
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters nor do I claim "My Tourniquet" by Evanescance as my own. Please R&R, flames are accepted, and even read!! Woohoo! Well, here is the story, ummm try and enjoy it!
I sat in the cold tub filled with water mixing with blood from my body, waiting for the cold hands of Death to come over me.
-I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
I lay dying-
Was I doing the right thing? My thoughts flashed to all my friends; the exuberent Duo Maxwell, A.K.A. Shinigami, who refused to stop trying to become close to me no matter how many times I beat the shit out of him; the silent killer, Trowa, the only one who had been through more shit than me. He was emotionless yet he had his own aura of kindness that surrounded him. I have to admit that Trowa was the first Gundam pilot that I truly came to respect, some have thought that it was Duo but I know that they were far from right. Then there was kind Quatre, the innocent one who should've never had to go through half of the things that he did. He was so naive sometimes yet he was the one that usually kept us from killing each other; and at last there is the Dragon, Wufei Chang. I never really got to know him very well, he was often secluding himself from the rest of humanity meditating his thoughts and clearing his mind of all distractions to further improve his fighting.
Then there was the one and only person that learned to love me, "Relena..." I said to no one. What was I doing? Why was I thinking of that silly, obsessive girl? Maybe I'm hoping that she will hear me and come to MY rescue instead of the other way around.
-And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?-
'No, that isn't it...I'm doing the right thing' I thought to myself. No matter how sad I knew that my friends would be, I could never force out the images of all the people that I killed.
-My God, my Tourniquet(1)
Return to me salvation
My God, my Touniquet
Return to me salvation-
Besides, everyone will be better once I am gone, especially Relena...Damnit! There I go again thinking about her.
-Do you remember me
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me?-
My eyes were beginning to become heavier, but I had to hold to the remains of my consciousness; I don't know why, but my brain, or my heart, told me to do it.
Relena only thinks that she loves me; she could be so much happier with someone other than me, I don't deserve to even be as close to her as I am. I wasn't made to love; I wasn't made for peace. I was made to kill and, though I've tried to tell myself differently for a long time, I am a threat to the same peace that I worked and sacrificed so much for.
-I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
My God, my Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My god my Tourniquet
Return to me salvation-
My heart finally gave in to what my brain was telling it. I am a killer, I will never change. I'm not like the rest. "Old habits die hard," I said to myself, "as they say." I laughed at the irony in that saying, causing my body to rack with painful coughs which made my head spin.
-My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverence
Will I be denied Christ?
Tourniquet-
"It's over," I said, laid my head back against the wall, and breathed my last.
-My suicide-
*~*2 days later*~*
A group of people stood over a newly dug grave, silently greiving over their lost comrade. Slowly Relena lowered a white rose, Heero's favorite, and ran her fingers along the inscription on the headstone, tears falling silently down her face.
"Heero Yuy
A.C. 180- A.C. 198
Our 'Perfect Soldier'
Who never got the chance
To love
He will live forever
In our hearts"
It was so true.
(1) Tourniquet- n. a device (as a bandage twisted tight with a stick) to check bleeding or blood flow.
A.N.-Alright, I know that was bad...all those who are madly in love with Heero, I'm sorry. I was in a gloomy mood this day and I was listening to my Evanescence CD and this song came on and hit me as a "Heero" song. I'll write some better ones, for some reason I have all these stories coming to me while I sleep, I know that I will have more coming on; and they will be more cheery than this one too! Anyways, please remember to R&R and I will be accepring flames since this was such a depressing story; however, please remember to use constructive criticism, I'm afraid that I do get a little mad when people come and write a bunch of crap at me...I think that I've bored you enough so I'm gonna stop typing.
"My Tourniquet"
By: Kanya Barton
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters nor do I claim "My Tourniquet" by Evanescance as my own. Please R&R, flames are accepted, and even read!! Woohoo! Well, here is the story, ummm try and enjoy it!
I sat in the cold tub filled with water mixing with blood from my body, waiting for the cold hands of Death to come over me.
-I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
I lay dying-
Was I doing the right thing? My thoughts flashed to all my friends; the exuberent Duo Maxwell, A.K.A. Shinigami, who refused to stop trying to become close to me no matter how many times I beat the shit out of him; the silent killer, Trowa, the only one who had been through more shit than me. He was emotionless yet he had his own aura of kindness that surrounded him. I have to admit that Trowa was the first Gundam pilot that I truly came to respect, some have thought that it was Duo but I know that they were far from right. Then there was kind Quatre, the innocent one who should've never had to go through half of the things that he did. He was so naive sometimes yet he was the one that usually kept us from killing each other; and at last there is the Dragon, Wufei Chang. I never really got to know him very well, he was often secluding himself from the rest of humanity meditating his thoughts and clearing his mind of all distractions to further improve his fighting.
Then there was the one and only person that learned to love me, "Relena..." I said to no one. What was I doing? Why was I thinking of that silly, obsessive girl? Maybe I'm hoping that she will hear me and come to MY rescue instead of the other way around.
-And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?-
'No, that isn't it...I'm doing the right thing' I thought to myself. No matter how sad I knew that my friends would be, I could never force out the images of all the people that I killed.
-My God, my Tourniquet(1)
Return to me salvation
My God, my Touniquet
Return to me salvation-
Besides, everyone will be better once I am gone, especially Relena...Damnit! There I go again thinking about her.
-Do you remember me
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me?-
My eyes were beginning to become heavier, but I had to hold to the remains of my consciousness; I don't know why, but my brain, or my heart, told me to do it.
Relena only thinks that she loves me; she could be so much happier with someone other than me, I don't deserve to even be as close to her as I am. I wasn't made to love; I wasn't made for peace. I was made to kill and, though I've tried to tell myself differently for a long time, I am a threat to the same peace that I worked and sacrificed so much for.
-I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
My God, my Tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My god my Tourniquet
Return to me salvation-
My heart finally gave in to what my brain was telling it. I am a killer, I will never change. I'm not like the rest. "Old habits die hard," I said to myself, "as they say." I laughed at the irony in that saying, causing my body to rack with painful coughs which made my head spin.
-My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverence
Will I be denied Christ?
Tourniquet-
"It's over," I said, laid my head back against the wall, and breathed my last.
-My suicide-
*~*2 days later*~*
A group of people stood over a newly dug grave, silently greiving over their lost comrade. Slowly Relena lowered a white rose, Heero's favorite, and ran her fingers along the inscription on the headstone, tears falling silently down her face.
"Heero Yuy
A.C. 180- A.C. 198
Our 'Perfect Soldier'
Who never got the chance
To love
He will live forever
In our hearts"
It was so true.
(1) Tourniquet- n. a device (as a bandage twisted tight with a stick) to check bleeding or blood flow.
A.N.-Alright, I know that was bad...all those who are madly in love with Heero, I'm sorry. I was in a gloomy mood this day and I was listening to my Evanescence CD and this song came on and hit me as a "Heero" song. I'll write some better ones, for some reason I have all these stories coming to me while I sleep, I know that I will have more coming on; and they will be more cheery than this one too! Anyways, please remember to R&R and I will be accepring flames since this was such a depressing story; however, please remember to use constructive criticism, I'm afraid that I do get a little mad when people come and write a bunch of crap at me...I think that I've bored you enough so I'm gonna stop typing.
i say, you're the angst princess!!!!!!!!! 
