Faye:The Therapy Sessions *Chapter 2*
Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2003 11:51 am
Standard disclaimers apply, very broke after 2 weekends of shopping with Erica the dirty whore,please don't sue me
-Chapter 2-Inaudible Melodies
"I remember watching him leave, I couldn't think. The only thing that made any damn sense to me was to shoot off my gun, like that would have stopped him. But he kept walking, I even toyed with the idea of shooting one of his legs to make him stay. But then I realized he would have left me anyway, the past had complete control over him. I toyed with the idea of threatening to shoot myself, but he wouldn't have cared then either. I could imagine exactly what he'd say 'Go ahead, Faye,' as if he didn't care that I lived or died. I remember vividly the image of him all slumped over like usual walking around the corner to die, it' about the only image I do remember well. I collapsed on the metal floor, it usually would have hurt like hell, but I was so numb I couldn't feel anything but this extreme nausea in the pits of my stomach."
I looked up at Doctor Zebb, she merely nodded as if to urge me on. I was trying to keep my breakfast down the best I could. All this talking about him was making me feel that same sickness all over again.
"You look pale Faye, you want to take a break?"
No, I'm on a roll, I wanna get this all out before......I don't know, it just needs to come out, I guess.
"No I'm alright. Well, Jet came out to see me on the floor. All he said was something like 'So Spike left did he?' the mere mention of his name sent my body into this spiral. I knew Jet was saying something else but I couldn't hear him. I felt so completely detached as the hall spiraled around me. Then this wave of nausea hit me and I ran for the bathroom."
"Did you throw up?"
"It started out as just gagging and spitting, then into more of a dry heave, but I never actually got anything up. I came back out to see Jet holding my key, we were going to go after him. After what he just did to us, Jet still wanted to follow. Like we were Spike's pawns or something in his sick little game of life. I wanted to say no, my head was screaming to stay put and let the bastard die. But I couldn't, my heart, my damn heart wouldn't let me. I don't remember any of the flight to the syndicate headquarters, I just remember having to fight off the nausea the entire trip. I'm surprised I didn't crash the Redtail or something. I remember Jet talking to me to, I don't know what he was saying. It was like this bee buzzing around my head, I couldn't focus again. I remember feeling trapped too, I've never felt that way in the Redtail, but it just felt like it was getting smaller and smaller."
"You've never had claustrophobic feelings like that before?"
"No"
"Interesting, please continue Faye"
"We got there and it was a mess, there were policeman and syndicate flunkies all over the place. The Red Dragon members were all bloody, all of them, with these dazed looks on their faces as if they'd never really been outside before. Most were getting cuffed by policeman, Jet yelled at me to get out and help look around. My legs felt like pure jell-o as I climbed down out of Redtail. I followed Jet up this beautiful staircase that was covered in blood. There was so much blood, so many dead bodies, it was too much. I collapsed again and a new, more intense wave of nausea hit me. Jet was talking to a Red Dragon member, I knew he was asking about Spike, Vicious, and Julia. All I could hear was 'dead,' they were all dead every single one of them. Dying for the past, they died for nothing, nothing at all. Jet looked back at me with these painful, glossed over eyes. I lost it, the whole room went spinning again. It felt like there was this war going on in my head, it pounded so hard. I couldn't breathe and the room started closing in on me and it just kept spinning. I was breathing so heavy and shaking so hard, I was so sick. Jet tried to help me up, but the second he touched me I was throwing up, heaving hard, shaking worse than before. Jet was asking the man about Spike's body so we could bury him, the Red Dragon shook his head 'No body.' I was still shaking and dry heaving when Jet came back over to me. He just picked my up, like a child and carried me out to Hammerhead. He got me into his ship and we drove back the ship, he kept patting my shoulder and saying things to me. I don't remember what though, he was trying his best to calm me down but my head was still fighting itself. When we got back to the ship, I felt better, I could walk. I walked around the empty ship, I decided to take a shower considering I had just vomited all over myself. I was feeling better with every step I took, but then I walked by his room. I lost myself all over again, next thing I knew I was shaking and dry heaving over a toilet all over again.
-Chapter 2-Inaudible Melodies
"I remember watching him leave, I couldn't think. The only thing that made any damn sense to me was to shoot off my gun, like that would have stopped him. But he kept walking, I even toyed with the idea of shooting one of his legs to make him stay. But then I realized he would have left me anyway, the past had complete control over him. I toyed with the idea of threatening to shoot myself, but he wouldn't have cared then either. I could imagine exactly what he'd say 'Go ahead, Faye,' as if he didn't care that I lived or died. I remember vividly the image of him all slumped over like usual walking around the corner to die, it' about the only image I do remember well. I collapsed on the metal floor, it usually would have hurt like hell, but I was so numb I couldn't feel anything but this extreme nausea in the pits of my stomach."
I looked up at Doctor Zebb, she merely nodded as if to urge me on. I was trying to keep my breakfast down the best I could. All this talking about him was making me feel that same sickness all over again.
"You look pale Faye, you want to take a break?"
No, I'm on a roll, I wanna get this all out before......I don't know, it just needs to come out, I guess.
"No I'm alright. Well, Jet came out to see me on the floor. All he said was something like 'So Spike left did he?' the mere mention of his name sent my body into this spiral. I knew Jet was saying something else but I couldn't hear him. I felt so completely detached as the hall spiraled around me. Then this wave of nausea hit me and I ran for the bathroom."
"Did you throw up?"
"It started out as just gagging and spitting, then into more of a dry heave, but I never actually got anything up. I came back out to see Jet holding my key, we were going to go after him. After what he just did to us, Jet still wanted to follow. Like we were Spike's pawns or something in his sick little game of life. I wanted to say no, my head was screaming to stay put and let the bastard die. But I couldn't, my heart, my damn heart wouldn't let me. I don't remember any of the flight to the syndicate headquarters, I just remember having to fight off the nausea the entire trip. I'm surprised I didn't crash the Redtail or something. I remember Jet talking to me to, I don't know what he was saying. It was like this bee buzzing around my head, I couldn't focus again. I remember feeling trapped too, I've never felt that way in the Redtail, but it just felt like it was getting smaller and smaller."
"You've never had claustrophobic feelings like that before?"
"No"
"Interesting, please continue Faye"
"We got there and it was a mess, there were policeman and syndicate flunkies all over the place. The Red Dragon members were all bloody, all of them, with these dazed looks on their faces as if they'd never really been outside before. Most were getting cuffed by policeman, Jet yelled at me to get out and help look around. My legs felt like pure jell-o as I climbed down out of Redtail. I followed Jet up this beautiful staircase that was covered in blood. There was so much blood, so many dead bodies, it was too much. I collapsed again and a new, more intense wave of nausea hit me. Jet was talking to a Red Dragon member, I knew he was asking about Spike, Vicious, and Julia. All I could hear was 'dead,' they were all dead every single one of them. Dying for the past, they died for nothing, nothing at all. Jet looked back at me with these painful, glossed over eyes. I lost it, the whole room went spinning again. It felt like there was this war going on in my head, it pounded so hard. I couldn't breathe and the room started closing in on me and it just kept spinning. I was breathing so heavy and shaking so hard, I was so sick. Jet tried to help me up, but the second he touched me I was throwing up, heaving hard, shaking worse than before. Jet was asking the man about Spike's body so we could bury him, the Red Dragon shook his head 'No body.' I was still shaking and dry heaving when Jet came back over to me. He just picked my up, like a child and carried me out to Hammerhead. He got me into his ship and we drove back the ship, he kept patting my shoulder and saying things to me. I don't remember what though, he was trying his best to calm me down but my head was still fighting itself. When we got back to the ship, I felt better, I could walk. I walked around the empty ship, I decided to take a shower considering I had just vomited all over myself. I was feeling better with every step I took, but then I walked by his room. I lost myself all over again, next thing I knew I was shaking and dry heaving over a toilet all over again.