Losing Grip: The Messenger
Posted: Tue Feb 25, 2003 10:49 pm
Losing Grip ~ the Messenger
By Engrish Spy
Rating: R/NC-17
Disclaimer: I don?t own The Messenger by The Tea Party or Gundam Wing.
Author?s Notes: Ok so here?s where I am. I think this might be the end but a good end. This is my first Gundam Wing Lemon. YAH! Enjoy! I?m also not trying to be preachy hear about being pro life. I just think that Relena would be a little ashamed that she had to do what she did.
A person once told me to love life and lead it to its fullest. Then why do I feel the shame that I do. Why do I feel like I should be dead and not at this desk writing a report. Why do I feel as if my life is going to come crashing down at any moment? Why do I feel so empty?
-------------------------------------
Got a letter from a messenger
I read it when it came
it said that you were wounded
you were bound and chained
you had love and you were handled
you were poisoned you were pained
oh no you were naked
you were shamed
-------------------------------------
I was floored when Heero appeared in my room. He looked ragged and tired. It was a state that a lot of people never got to see, including myself. I angled my head to the side questioning why he was there. He produced a black polished gun from his jacket and then extended it towards me. I sighed and then looked into his face.
?I guess this is it then,? I said with tiredness, ?I?m ready to die Heero.?
?Relena I want you to kill me,? his voice resonated with clarity.
I was taken aback. It was like that fateful day so many years before. Heero Yuy was asking me to make a decision that could harm me further then what was normally possible. I became fearful that I could have a relapse. I shook my head and pushed his outstretched hands back towards him.
?I can?t do that Heero. I can?t take another life,? I said in a sadened tone.
He hung his head and then grasped it in his own hands and cocked the trigger. I watched as he placed the gun to his head. I watched as the cold black steel reflected the artificial light of my office. My Emotions were clashing as I continued to watch him. I tried to search his eyes for anything. The steely blue eyes just glared at me, trying to pierce my very soul. I was desperate to help. So I did the only thing I could think of. I pressed my lips to his.
-------------------------------------
You could almost touch heaven
right there in front of you
liberty just slipped away on us
now there's so much work to do
oh the door that closes tightly
is the door than can swing wide
oh no not expecting to collide
-------------------------------------
I did not know what propelled me to kiss the man who had beaten me, hated me, and killed me. It was like I was coming to his rescue now. I was to be his saviour. I wanted this.
The kiss did not deepen nor did it lessen. It was different from the last kisses I had shared with him. These were almost pure, or as Quatre would describe as angel kisses sent to save the needy. Was I truly an angel?
I let my eyes flutter open while I was still kissing Heero. He still had the gun pressed to his head, but he was trembling. I felt something wet hit my cheek and mistook it for me crying. Then Heero tore away and turned around hiding his face. I watched as he dropped the now de-cocked gun. I watched as it clattered to the floor and the room was silent. The only noise that could be heard was the clock on my desk and his heavy sobs, which he tried to hide. I reached out to touch him.
-------------------------------------
For a minute I let my guard down
not afraid to be found out
I completely forgot dear
what our fears were all about
oh no there's no need to be without
-------------------------------------
?Don?t touch me,? he stated coolly.
I brought my offended hand back to my heart. It was as if I could feel his pain. My heart felt lighter. I think because he was finally experiencing the pain I had felt as he did what he did. He turned around and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his Preventer jacket. He tried to compose his face in to the cold solider but failed. I smiled and then offered him my hand.
?I?m sorry I couldn?t be that girl you wanted,? I heard myself replied.
It seemed like hours as I stood there like a fool, barring my soul out to him. I could feel his arctic gaze upon me. I kept my eyes averted from him. I did not want to see the anger that the statement might bring.
I was surprised when I felt the warmth of his skin against mine. He then proceeded to tilt my chin up to look at him. I was greeted to the anger that I expected to be there. I cast my eyes downward again trying to avoid it. I did not want him to be angry at me.
Then I felt his arms encircle me in an embrace that I was unprepared for. He also seemed like he was unprepared for his actions. I did the only thing I could think of and kissed him again. He accepted it and let me continue the kiss from before.
The kiss deepened as we continued to embrace. I had not felt this kind of emotion in my body in all my years of living. It felt as if he was filling the emptiness that he caused in me. The kiss was just as awkward as the hug had been. It was as if he had nothing to protect him. It was as he could not hide behind his wall, or behind his fa?ade that he used the first time. It was just Heero and I. Two beings that were lost in a sea of people, of emotions and of life.
-------------------------------------
If there's a chance I would take it
this desire I can't kill
take my heart please don't break it
I will crawl to your foothill
-------------------------------------
He deepened the kiss and began to fumble with the buttons on my blouse. I traced my fingers down the skin of his face. It was warm and still wet from the few tears he had cried before. As we continued to kiss, I then realised that we were standing in the exact same spot three years earlier. I pushed him away and then grasped the open blouse.
?Not here,? I gasped.
Heero nodded and then hung his head trying to hide the passion and fever in his eyes. I buttoned the blouse I wore and then straitened myself. I crossed the floor and picked up the forgotten gun and then handed it to Heero.
?You should put this away,? I said softly.
Heero took it from me and holstered it, inside his coat. I made my way back to the desk and pushed a button. I told my secretary to cancel my day and I was going back to bed under the pretence of being sick. She smiled and then nodded. I then took Heero by the hand and led him from the study. When we reached my room, the awkwardness returned again, but Heero made quick work to return to where we were. Quickly we rid ourselves of our clothes. I watched as Heero stood there looking apprehensive. I kissed him hoping to distract him.
I led us to the bed as we continued to kiss. This was entirely different from the last time we had done this. I did not seem rushed or forced. I felt alive and new. I felt childish as if it were the first time all over again. I watched in fascination as Heero trailed his fingers down my skin. It felt as every touch no matter how soft it was, was setting my skin on fire. I could feel the heat begin to burn at my centre. I was out of my mind. My hands copied what he did. I could hear him gasp as I touched him.
It was not long before he entered me. It was slow and gentle and bittersweet. It was as if he was trying to make up for something that was. The first few pushes were tight and hurt slightly but I waited and as the pain faded with each stroke, a delightful ache replaced it.
Heero continued to push and I continued to push back. I could feel my end drawing near as he continued to speed up our pace in this sweet, arduous tryst that we were engaged in. I saw white and a sigh escaped my lips as I came in, relieving the sweet release that he brought me.
Heero followed soon after. He groaned and then let four words escape his lips as it ended. I love you Relena.
-------------------------------------
I?m frightened but I?m coming
please baby please lay still
oh no I?m not coming for the kill
-------------------------------------
TBC?
By Engrish Spy
Rating: R/NC-17
Disclaimer: I don?t own The Messenger by The Tea Party or Gundam Wing.
Author?s Notes: Ok so here?s where I am. I think this might be the end but a good end. This is my first Gundam Wing Lemon. YAH! Enjoy! I?m also not trying to be preachy hear about being pro life. I just think that Relena would be a little ashamed that she had to do what she did.
A person once told me to love life and lead it to its fullest. Then why do I feel the shame that I do. Why do I feel like I should be dead and not at this desk writing a report. Why do I feel as if my life is going to come crashing down at any moment? Why do I feel so empty?
-------------------------------------
Got a letter from a messenger
I read it when it came
it said that you were wounded
you were bound and chained
you had love and you were handled
you were poisoned you were pained
oh no you were naked
you were shamed
-------------------------------------
I was floored when Heero appeared in my room. He looked ragged and tired. It was a state that a lot of people never got to see, including myself. I angled my head to the side questioning why he was there. He produced a black polished gun from his jacket and then extended it towards me. I sighed and then looked into his face.
?I guess this is it then,? I said with tiredness, ?I?m ready to die Heero.?
?Relena I want you to kill me,? his voice resonated with clarity.
I was taken aback. It was like that fateful day so many years before. Heero Yuy was asking me to make a decision that could harm me further then what was normally possible. I became fearful that I could have a relapse. I shook my head and pushed his outstretched hands back towards him.
?I can?t do that Heero. I can?t take another life,? I said in a sadened tone.
He hung his head and then grasped it in his own hands and cocked the trigger. I watched as he placed the gun to his head. I watched as the cold black steel reflected the artificial light of my office. My Emotions were clashing as I continued to watch him. I tried to search his eyes for anything. The steely blue eyes just glared at me, trying to pierce my very soul. I was desperate to help. So I did the only thing I could think of. I pressed my lips to his.
-------------------------------------
You could almost touch heaven
right there in front of you
liberty just slipped away on us
now there's so much work to do
oh the door that closes tightly
is the door than can swing wide
oh no not expecting to collide
-------------------------------------
I did not know what propelled me to kiss the man who had beaten me, hated me, and killed me. It was like I was coming to his rescue now. I was to be his saviour. I wanted this.
The kiss did not deepen nor did it lessen. It was different from the last kisses I had shared with him. These were almost pure, or as Quatre would describe as angel kisses sent to save the needy. Was I truly an angel?
I let my eyes flutter open while I was still kissing Heero. He still had the gun pressed to his head, but he was trembling. I felt something wet hit my cheek and mistook it for me crying. Then Heero tore away and turned around hiding his face. I watched as he dropped the now de-cocked gun. I watched as it clattered to the floor and the room was silent. The only noise that could be heard was the clock on my desk and his heavy sobs, which he tried to hide. I reached out to touch him.
-------------------------------------
For a minute I let my guard down
not afraid to be found out
I completely forgot dear
what our fears were all about
oh no there's no need to be without
-------------------------------------
?Don?t touch me,? he stated coolly.
I brought my offended hand back to my heart. It was as if I could feel his pain. My heart felt lighter. I think because he was finally experiencing the pain I had felt as he did what he did. He turned around and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his Preventer jacket. He tried to compose his face in to the cold solider but failed. I smiled and then offered him my hand.
?I?m sorry I couldn?t be that girl you wanted,? I heard myself replied.
It seemed like hours as I stood there like a fool, barring my soul out to him. I could feel his arctic gaze upon me. I kept my eyes averted from him. I did not want to see the anger that the statement might bring.
I was surprised when I felt the warmth of his skin against mine. He then proceeded to tilt my chin up to look at him. I was greeted to the anger that I expected to be there. I cast my eyes downward again trying to avoid it. I did not want him to be angry at me.
Then I felt his arms encircle me in an embrace that I was unprepared for. He also seemed like he was unprepared for his actions. I did the only thing I could think of and kissed him again. He accepted it and let me continue the kiss from before.
The kiss deepened as we continued to embrace. I had not felt this kind of emotion in my body in all my years of living. It felt as if he was filling the emptiness that he caused in me. The kiss was just as awkward as the hug had been. It was as if he had nothing to protect him. It was as he could not hide behind his wall, or behind his fa?ade that he used the first time. It was just Heero and I. Two beings that were lost in a sea of people, of emotions and of life.
-------------------------------------
If there's a chance I would take it
this desire I can't kill
take my heart please don't break it
I will crawl to your foothill
-------------------------------------
He deepened the kiss and began to fumble with the buttons on my blouse. I traced my fingers down the skin of his face. It was warm and still wet from the few tears he had cried before. As we continued to kiss, I then realised that we were standing in the exact same spot three years earlier. I pushed him away and then grasped the open blouse.
?Not here,? I gasped.
Heero nodded and then hung his head trying to hide the passion and fever in his eyes. I buttoned the blouse I wore and then straitened myself. I crossed the floor and picked up the forgotten gun and then handed it to Heero.
?You should put this away,? I said softly.
Heero took it from me and holstered it, inside his coat. I made my way back to the desk and pushed a button. I told my secretary to cancel my day and I was going back to bed under the pretence of being sick. She smiled and then nodded. I then took Heero by the hand and led him from the study. When we reached my room, the awkwardness returned again, but Heero made quick work to return to where we were. Quickly we rid ourselves of our clothes. I watched as Heero stood there looking apprehensive. I kissed him hoping to distract him.
I led us to the bed as we continued to kiss. This was entirely different from the last time we had done this. I did not seem rushed or forced. I felt alive and new. I felt childish as if it were the first time all over again. I watched in fascination as Heero trailed his fingers down my skin. It felt as every touch no matter how soft it was, was setting my skin on fire. I could feel the heat begin to burn at my centre. I was out of my mind. My hands copied what he did. I could hear him gasp as I touched him.
It was not long before he entered me. It was slow and gentle and bittersweet. It was as if he was trying to make up for something that was. The first few pushes were tight and hurt slightly but I waited and as the pain faded with each stroke, a delightful ache replaced it.
Heero continued to push and I continued to push back. I could feel my end drawing near as he continued to speed up our pace in this sweet, arduous tryst that we were engaged in. I saw white and a sigh escaped my lips as I came in, relieving the sweet release that he brought me.
Heero followed soon after. He groaned and then let four words escape his lips as it ended. I love you Relena.
-------------------------------------
I?m frightened but I?m coming
please baby please lay still
oh no I?m not coming for the kill
-------------------------------------
TBC?