I Never Meant To Hurt You (read this one not the other one)
Posted: Mon Feb 10, 2003 6:42 am
I Never Meant To Hurt You
A/N: This is a 1xR songfic. The song is called Survivors and it's by Phil Collins.
Disclaimer: the song and the GW characters have been used without permission (I just don't have the money *sigh*). So please don't sue me ^_^;
< > = Thoughts
No I never meant to hold you back
I never meant to turn away
Please forgive me
Heero was lying on his king-sized bed, having just woken up he was thinking. Thinking about everything that had happened the night before, what Relena had told him and what he'd said in reply.
...Flashback...
Heero was sitting on a table for two opposite Relena. She was dressed in a beautiful turquoise, evening gown, with a silk scarf wrapped around her pale, slender neck. Her honey-brown hair looked golden in the dim lighting and her sky-blue eyes glistened with both fear and excitement.
'Heero I...I have something I need to tell you... you see I can't... keep it to myself any longer.' She looked up at Heero, their eyes met, his cold and calculating, hers warm and gentle, though burning with determination. 'Heero, I've tried to hold them back, but these feelings just keep resurfacing, as if they've been burnt inside my heart. I love you. I always have and always will.'
Heero turned away; ignoring Relena as if her confession was the sort of thing he heard everyday.
'Heero? Heero if I've said anything to displease you, please say, then maybe I can make it right again.'
Relena reached out to tug his sleeve and in liquid movement, Heero grabbed her wrist and held it tightly, she winced in pain and he lessened his grip. For what seemed like eternity, he glared at her with eyes full of hatred and disgust. The tension was great. Then finally Heero broke the silence.
'I will never love you Relena,' he spoke through gritted teeth.
Tears rolled down her extremely white face like pearls. 'W...why?' She whispered.
'You are nothing more to me than an ideal for peace. And the only reason I'm here is to protect you.'
With that a grief stricken Relena ran out of the restaurant, her eyes wild with sadness and pain, blurred over with tears.
...End flashback...
I never meant to break your heart
I'd give my last breath before I do
Please forgive me
Heero sat up in bed, still thinking of that night. Deep down inside, somewhere in his frozen heart. He knew he didn't mean what he'd said. The thought of Relena in the distressed state she was in when she'd left the restaurant sent a pang of guilt through his mind.
'I never meant it to come out that way, but if we're together she'd be in more pain than she is now, I just hope she can forgive me.'
Suddenly, a terrible thought flashed through his mind. <What if she commits suicide? >
Heero shook himself and said out loud, 'Relena's not as far gone as that,'
He got out of bed and had a shower, it refreshed his mind and he felt a lot better than he had in the last twelve hours. After he'd changed, he took his leather jacket off the coat rack and stepped outside.
It was a clear day, the sky was blue and there were no clouds in sight, the sun although not hot, was warm and there was a slight breeze that ruffled his already messy hair.
He headed to the central park, on his way stopping by a jewellers shop. On a day like this the park could look almost as beautiful as the Garden of Eden. The golden fish swam in the large pond, their golden scales glimmering as the sunlight bounced off them. The plants were also beautiful, and if you climbed one of the many large oak trees and looked around, the scene that hit your eyes would take your breath away.
This was the one place where Heero could always forget about his problems and relax in he shade of a tree where no one would see him. But whenever he had come here in the past, someone did see him, that someone was always there with and for him even though he'd never treated that someone right, and it had always been that someone to relax his mind and comfort him when he got stopped. But now he'd driven that someone away and would probably never see her again.
The logical side of him told him, 'snap out of it Heero Yuy, you did it for the best!'
But the good, sentimental side of him said, 'if breaking Relena's heart...and yours, is for the best, I really don't know what's for the worst!'
But of course Heero, who was very rarely sentimental, listened to his logical side. 'I'd give my last breath before I hurt her, but this is for the best.'
Heero found the tree that he and Relena usually went to, without thinking he went up to it and climbed to one of the higher branches that forked out, he lay on one of he forks and soon fell asleep.
No I never meant to hold you down
I never meant to break your heart
Somehow, somehow
We are survivors
What seemed like hours later, the blazing sun now high in sky Heero was woken by a light rustling of leaves, taking the noise to have been made by the quiet inhabitants of the tree, he was going to go back to sleep when he came face to face with Relena.
Failing to put on his unusually faithful emotionless mask, his face was plastered with shock, but before he could say anything to Relena, she was already climbing back down the tree. However, time and fate were on his side because as she hurriedly scrambled down, protruding branches and leaves clung to her hair and clothes, slowing her progress.
'Wait! Relena, wait!' She didn't reply, she just kept on climbing. Heero followed, swiftly skimming the branches.
No I never meant to hold you back
I never meant to turn away
Relena, in her hurry missed a step and would have fallen to her doom if Heero hadn't have heroically caught her and carried her the rest of the way.
He put her on the ground. They were so close together that he could feel her thumping heart, still beating from the shock of falling, they were so close together that he could feel her warm breath against his skin, and her eyes, so beautiful yet they erupted a volcano of hate; they were so close that he could lean in and kiss her. And that's what he did.
Here we are standing here
Survivors in the night
Heero leant in and brushed his lips against hers, and then using his tongue he circled her lips, Relena's lips parted and Heero's tongue slipped inside her mouth, playing with hers. At first Relena enjoyed the kiss and returned it wholeheartedly, but then she remembered whom she was kissing and pulled herself away.
Raising her pearly hand she slapped Heero on the cheek so hard that it turned a violent shade of red.
'How dare you? How dare you...you break my heart repeatedly, and then wrench it away from me saying...saying you don't love me and that you never have! And then you turn around and...and kiss me?' A blood red, angry colour stained her ivory cheeks, and her eyes overflowed with angry tears.
No I never meant to let you down
I'd give my last breath before I do
All I ever wanted was to be right here
Survivors in the night
'Relena, we need to talk.'
Relena turned around and started to walk away, 'I have nothing more to say to you.' She continued to walk but was blocked by a very persistent Heero who wouldn't let her pass.
'Please, Relena.'
She stood there as if frozen and decided to let hem speak, after all he did say please, and this is Heero we're talking about.
When all is said and done
We'll find a way
To put this all behind us
We'll find some way
'cos you know that I won't be leaving
yes I'm here and I won't be leaving
'Talk.'
'Relena, I never knew my parents, I was brought up by Doctor J, only to be the perfect soldier; I couldn't smile, be happy, or love someone. That's the way it was for the perfect soldier. I just wasn't allowed. It was like I was a robot programmed to fight and nothing else.'
'Yeah, so?'
'But when I was with you, I learnt to feel again, I felt so many things that I'd never felt before, and I guess I just wasn't used to the change.'
'No one gets used to changes just like that Heero, we just have to learn to deal with them. You think falling in love is something that we do everyday? You are the only man I've ever loved and I admit that I still do; but if you're not willing to let me in and let me help you get used to the changes, then just do me a favour and leave me alone.'
No I never meant to cause you pain
No I never meant to hurt you
All I want to do is to try my best
Survivors in the night
'Not until I've said what I have to say.'
'You'll never give up will you?' She exasperatedly said.
Heero smiled grimly. 'No.'
'Get on with it then.'
'Relena, I never meant to cause you pain and I didn't mean to hurt you; I just didn't think that there was any way that we could be together.'
'Why?'
'Just think about it for a minute...'
'Hmmm, I though about it, but I still don't understand what your driving at.'
When all is said and done
We'll find someday
We can forget all this
Somehow, someway
'I mean look at us Relena, the Princess of Peace and an ex-Gundam Pilot. By being with me, I'll just be staining your purity, like...like spilling ink all over a clean page. What will the people think/'
'It's none of their business, I'll love who I like, it's not their decision to make, it's mine.'
'So you don't...care who sees or what people think, or that I've taken so many lives?'
Relena's mask of bitter hate disappeared only to be replaced by her usual face of subtle happiness and soft love.
'No Heero, love isn't like that. If you feel so strongly about someone, you shouldn't care who knows.'
'Relena, I promised a long time ago, that I'll always protect you, and I've kept that promise. But now, I know how I truly feel, I promise that I'll always love you. If you'll give me another chance that is.'
Relena, tears of joy filling her eyes, flew straight into Heero's arms and replied with a kiss.
And as long as I'm here
There'll be no worries anymore
And all these promises I'm making now
I'll hold each day
Heero broke the kiss and took out a small, black, velvet box, he opened it and inside was a gold ring with a heart-shaped diamond, and if you looked closely you could see flecks of gold surrounding the heart-shaped diamond, and if you looked even closer, you could see the words, 'Heero loves Relena,' inscribed on it.
Relena gasped in surprise. 'Heero, this must have cost you a fortune, I...I can't accept it.'
'You have to,' he smiled, 'its got our names on it, so it's too late to send it back.' Heero took the delicate ring out of the box and slipped it onto Relena's even more delicate finger. He looked up into her sparkling eyes with his once hate-filled ones, now shining with love.
'With this ring, I seal my promises to always protect and love you, and I hope that one day we can seal this promise ring with an even greater commitment.
With that said he once again leaned in to kiss her, this time with no more worries and anxieties but with true happiness and love.
So don't ever, don't ever forget
That I never meant to break you heart
All I ever wanted was to stand beside you
Survivors in the night
We are survivors in the night.
A/N: So what do you think? I bet you thought the ring was a wedding ring. Please all you people send me your opinions whether nice, kind notes of gratitude and etc or....dare I say it...not-too-mean comments on how this could be better. Cos I really do need to know. Hope to hear from ya.
tornin1/2
A/N: This is a 1xR songfic. The song is called Survivors and it's by Phil Collins.
Disclaimer: the song and the GW characters have been used without permission (I just don't have the money *sigh*). So please don't sue me ^_^;
< > = Thoughts
No I never meant to hold you back
I never meant to turn away
Please forgive me
Heero was lying on his king-sized bed, having just woken up he was thinking. Thinking about everything that had happened the night before, what Relena had told him and what he'd said in reply.
...Flashback...
Heero was sitting on a table for two opposite Relena. She was dressed in a beautiful turquoise, evening gown, with a silk scarf wrapped around her pale, slender neck. Her honey-brown hair looked golden in the dim lighting and her sky-blue eyes glistened with both fear and excitement.
'Heero I...I have something I need to tell you... you see I can't... keep it to myself any longer.' She looked up at Heero, their eyes met, his cold and calculating, hers warm and gentle, though burning with determination. 'Heero, I've tried to hold them back, but these feelings just keep resurfacing, as if they've been burnt inside my heart. I love you. I always have and always will.'
Heero turned away; ignoring Relena as if her confession was the sort of thing he heard everyday.
'Heero? Heero if I've said anything to displease you, please say, then maybe I can make it right again.'
Relena reached out to tug his sleeve and in liquid movement, Heero grabbed her wrist and held it tightly, she winced in pain and he lessened his grip. For what seemed like eternity, he glared at her with eyes full of hatred and disgust. The tension was great. Then finally Heero broke the silence.
'I will never love you Relena,' he spoke through gritted teeth.
Tears rolled down her extremely white face like pearls. 'W...why?' She whispered.
'You are nothing more to me than an ideal for peace. And the only reason I'm here is to protect you.'
With that a grief stricken Relena ran out of the restaurant, her eyes wild with sadness and pain, blurred over with tears.
...End flashback...
I never meant to break your heart
I'd give my last breath before I do
Please forgive me
Heero sat up in bed, still thinking of that night. Deep down inside, somewhere in his frozen heart. He knew he didn't mean what he'd said. The thought of Relena in the distressed state she was in when she'd left the restaurant sent a pang of guilt through his mind.
'I never meant it to come out that way, but if we're together she'd be in more pain than she is now, I just hope she can forgive me.'
Suddenly, a terrible thought flashed through his mind. <What if she commits suicide? >
Heero shook himself and said out loud, 'Relena's not as far gone as that,'
He got out of bed and had a shower, it refreshed his mind and he felt a lot better than he had in the last twelve hours. After he'd changed, he took his leather jacket off the coat rack and stepped outside.
It was a clear day, the sky was blue and there were no clouds in sight, the sun although not hot, was warm and there was a slight breeze that ruffled his already messy hair.
He headed to the central park, on his way stopping by a jewellers shop. On a day like this the park could look almost as beautiful as the Garden of Eden. The golden fish swam in the large pond, their golden scales glimmering as the sunlight bounced off them. The plants were also beautiful, and if you climbed one of the many large oak trees and looked around, the scene that hit your eyes would take your breath away.
This was the one place where Heero could always forget about his problems and relax in he shade of a tree where no one would see him. But whenever he had come here in the past, someone did see him, that someone was always there with and for him even though he'd never treated that someone right, and it had always been that someone to relax his mind and comfort him when he got stopped. But now he'd driven that someone away and would probably never see her again.
The logical side of him told him, 'snap out of it Heero Yuy, you did it for the best!'
But the good, sentimental side of him said, 'if breaking Relena's heart...and yours, is for the best, I really don't know what's for the worst!'
But of course Heero, who was very rarely sentimental, listened to his logical side. 'I'd give my last breath before I hurt her, but this is for the best.'
Heero found the tree that he and Relena usually went to, without thinking he went up to it and climbed to one of the higher branches that forked out, he lay on one of he forks and soon fell asleep.
No I never meant to hold you down
I never meant to break your heart
Somehow, somehow
We are survivors
What seemed like hours later, the blazing sun now high in sky Heero was woken by a light rustling of leaves, taking the noise to have been made by the quiet inhabitants of the tree, he was going to go back to sleep when he came face to face with Relena.
Failing to put on his unusually faithful emotionless mask, his face was plastered with shock, but before he could say anything to Relena, she was already climbing back down the tree. However, time and fate were on his side because as she hurriedly scrambled down, protruding branches and leaves clung to her hair and clothes, slowing her progress.
'Wait! Relena, wait!' She didn't reply, she just kept on climbing. Heero followed, swiftly skimming the branches.
No I never meant to hold you back
I never meant to turn away
Relena, in her hurry missed a step and would have fallen to her doom if Heero hadn't have heroically caught her and carried her the rest of the way.
He put her on the ground. They were so close together that he could feel her thumping heart, still beating from the shock of falling, they were so close together that he could feel her warm breath against his skin, and her eyes, so beautiful yet they erupted a volcano of hate; they were so close that he could lean in and kiss her. And that's what he did.
Here we are standing here
Survivors in the night
Heero leant in and brushed his lips against hers, and then using his tongue he circled her lips, Relena's lips parted and Heero's tongue slipped inside her mouth, playing with hers. At first Relena enjoyed the kiss and returned it wholeheartedly, but then she remembered whom she was kissing and pulled herself away.
Raising her pearly hand she slapped Heero on the cheek so hard that it turned a violent shade of red.
'How dare you? How dare you...you break my heart repeatedly, and then wrench it away from me saying...saying you don't love me and that you never have! And then you turn around and...and kiss me?' A blood red, angry colour stained her ivory cheeks, and her eyes overflowed with angry tears.
No I never meant to let you down
I'd give my last breath before I do
All I ever wanted was to be right here
Survivors in the night
'Relena, we need to talk.'
Relena turned around and started to walk away, 'I have nothing more to say to you.' She continued to walk but was blocked by a very persistent Heero who wouldn't let her pass.
'Please, Relena.'
She stood there as if frozen and decided to let hem speak, after all he did say please, and this is Heero we're talking about.
When all is said and done
We'll find a way
To put this all behind us
We'll find some way
'cos you know that I won't be leaving
yes I'm here and I won't be leaving
'Talk.'
'Relena, I never knew my parents, I was brought up by Doctor J, only to be the perfect soldier; I couldn't smile, be happy, or love someone. That's the way it was for the perfect soldier. I just wasn't allowed. It was like I was a robot programmed to fight and nothing else.'
'Yeah, so?'
'But when I was with you, I learnt to feel again, I felt so many things that I'd never felt before, and I guess I just wasn't used to the change.'
'No one gets used to changes just like that Heero, we just have to learn to deal with them. You think falling in love is something that we do everyday? You are the only man I've ever loved and I admit that I still do; but if you're not willing to let me in and let me help you get used to the changes, then just do me a favour and leave me alone.'
No I never meant to cause you pain
No I never meant to hurt you
All I want to do is to try my best
Survivors in the night
'Not until I've said what I have to say.'
'You'll never give up will you?' She exasperatedly said.
Heero smiled grimly. 'No.'
'Get on with it then.'
'Relena, I never meant to cause you pain and I didn't mean to hurt you; I just didn't think that there was any way that we could be together.'
'Why?'
'Just think about it for a minute...'
'Hmmm, I though about it, but I still don't understand what your driving at.'
When all is said and done
We'll find someday
We can forget all this
Somehow, someway
'I mean look at us Relena, the Princess of Peace and an ex-Gundam Pilot. By being with me, I'll just be staining your purity, like...like spilling ink all over a clean page. What will the people think/'
'It's none of their business, I'll love who I like, it's not their decision to make, it's mine.'
'So you don't...care who sees or what people think, or that I've taken so many lives?'
Relena's mask of bitter hate disappeared only to be replaced by her usual face of subtle happiness and soft love.
'No Heero, love isn't like that. If you feel so strongly about someone, you shouldn't care who knows.'
'Relena, I promised a long time ago, that I'll always protect you, and I've kept that promise. But now, I know how I truly feel, I promise that I'll always love you. If you'll give me another chance that is.'
Relena, tears of joy filling her eyes, flew straight into Heero's arms and replied with a kiss.
And as long as I'm here
There'll be no worries anymore
And all these promises I'm making now
I'll hold each day
Heero broke the kiss and took out a small, black, velvet box, he opened it and inside was a gold ring with a heart-shaped diamond, and if you looked closely you could see flecks of gold surrounding the heart-shaped diamond, and if you looked even closer, you could see the words, 'Heero loves Relena,' inscribed on it.
Relena gasped in surprise. 'Heero, this must have cost you a fortune, I...I can't accept it.'
'You have to,' he smiled, 'its got our names on it, so it's too late to send it back.' Heero took the delicate ring out of the box and slipped it onto Relena's even more delicate finger. He looked up into her sparkling eyes with his once hate-filled ones, now shining with love.
'With this ring, I seal my promises to always protect and love you, and I hope that one day we can seal this promise ring with an even greater commitment.
With that said he once again leaned in to kiss her, this time with no more worries and anxieties but with true happiness and love.
So don't ever, don't ever forget
That I never meant to break you heart
All I ever wanted was to stand beside you
Survivors in the night
We are survivors in the night.
A/N: So what do you think? I bet you thought the ring was a wedding ring. Please all you people send me your opinions whether nice, kind notes of gratitude and etc or....dare I say it...not-too-mean comments on how this could be better. Cos I really do need to know. Hope to hear from ya.
tornin1/2
