Ask Heero (A Real Advice Column)

[Adaon]

To add some more:

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

Dog Property Rules
1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.

7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If its broken, it's yours.

Dogs and Light Bulbs
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Rottweiler: Make me!

Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls.

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Doberman: While it's out, I'll just take a nap on the couch.

Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs -- people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

[Andrea]

.. Thank you, Adaon. I'll lend you Wario now... I'm sharing, too.

Seriously, thank you... I needed that.

[Heero]

Here's a joke...

How many people does it take to make a gundam pilot go insane...

The answer? How many people have made a post?

[Adaon]

Here's a joke...

How many people does it take to make a gundam pilot go insane...

The answer? How many people have made a post?

In order of making their first post:
1 blackrose
2 Heero
3 Kaili Charmer
4 Tomorrow
5 The Young Alcoholic
6 Heerako
7 Goldberry
8 Neoen
9 Melville's Best Friend
10 Miss Relena
11 SimplyTurquoise
12 Shooting Gundam Star
13 Yawning!
14 Gundam Girl
15 Morrighan
16 cherryflavored1R
17 White Witch
18 wickedchild_md
19 Myst
20 Lauren
21 Beck
22 Miroku
23 FireMoogle
24 silent muse
25 Shinigamigrul
26 demented fly
27 Litia-sama
28 WhiteWindRRose
29 royal blade
30 lliterate
31 Katy-did Bug
32 Asuka
33 pilot03
34 Jia Li Labyrinth
35 me
36 athena
37 Vastulja_Sata_Menton
38 bookworm
39 paxbanana
40 Faye Faye
41 Beer-monster
42 daemaethor
43 Andrea Sinisterra
44 Rinoah7

I am very bored right now with the Atlanta car race under rain delay.

[Andrea]

Hahaha..!! Oh! Well, I can ask my sister to post... she'll sure drive you bananas, Heero!! Oh, that's something I'd really like to see... or read....

[Melville's Best Friend]

Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

I take offense to that as it is not true. I know you didn't come up with it, so I'm not irked at YOU or anything, but Old English Sheepdogs do NOT eat everything in sight. Seeing as how I've had one for 13 years, *I* know that they're not dumb or anything of that sort. Old English Sheepdogs are the most loyal dogs you can get. Why? Well, they will stick to one person and be as loyal to them as the day is long. (something about a person being their sheep...I don't get it, but Drake does it to my dad...those two are inseperable) They are as faithful a dog as you can get. I know labs are faithful, too, but they love everybody. ^__^ I have one of those, too. And two muts.

Puppies are hyper.

Anywho...I just wanted to say that...My dog Drake doesn't need any more negative attention. I love his old self. I have to after 13 years...^__^

^__^ Carry ON!!!!!!

[Kaili Charmer]

~blink blink~ I was the third poster? Hahahahaha...Adaon, thanks for the list to answer Heero's question. That's rich.

[Shinigamigrul]

Here's a joke...

How many people does it take to make a gundam pilot go insane...

The answer? How many people have made a post?
_________________

In order of making their first post:
1 blackrose
2 Heero
3 Kaili Charmer
4 Tomorrow
5 The Young Alcoholic
6 Heerako
7 Goldberry
8 Neoen
9 Melville's Best Friend
10 Miss Relena
11 SimplyTurquoise
12 Shooting Gundam Star
13 Yawning!
14 Gundam Girl
15 Morrighan
16 cherryflavored1R
17 White Witch
18 wickedchild_md
19 Myst
20 Lauren
21 Beck
22 Miroku
23 FireMoogle
24 silent muse
25 Shinigamigrul
26 demented fly
27 Litia-sama
28 WhiteWindRRose
29 royal blade
30 lliterate
etc..

hahahahahahahah thats halrious...........really...tho adaon you do realize that you should probably fear for your life......but OMG that was just genius

[Heero]

43 people? Wow, more than I thouhgt. Congrats! You've all driven me mad!

[Shinigamigrul]

43 people? Wow, more than I thouhgt. Congrats! You've all driven me mad!

um heero.....exactly how sane were you to begin with..... i mean with all the suicide attempts and what not?