Ask Heero (A Real Advice Column)

[Katy-did Bug]

I'd have to agree with the one and only perfect soldier on the "what makes you happy" poll. Happiness for me is when I complete something and especially when I have done my very best on that thing.
But, I do have a question for Mr. Yuy.
What annoys you the most (besides people who ask questions you have repeatedly told them you won't answer)?

[Heero]

Sit in a corner. That's where I sit. Corners. Not one, but two seperate walls to lean on. Corners are the sitting place for me.

My annoyances are people pestering me. This advice column gets me on edge, but has not truly annoyed me yet. It is easy to peice together, that Duo also annoys me. And right when you think he's out of your life and you never have to see him again, Cristmas Eve, a brand new mission. With none other than the self-proclaimed god of death as your partner. But hopefully once again, I will never see him again. Yet I find myself wondering about my upcoming missions when it lists that I have a "partner"

[Katy-did Bug]

Dear Heero,

Maybe you could always pull a "Zechs" on Mr. Maxwell, and send a computer generated copy of yourself to him and do the mission on your own.

[Heero]

Good point. He's so dense, I'm sure he won't be able to tell the differance.

[Melville's Best Friend]

Duo: I am NOT dense! I am...

BI: *waits*

Duo: I swear I'm not dense. I was GOOD in a mobile suit, and just as serious when it came to fighting as any of the other guys!!!

Trowa: You were captured more than anyone else.

Wufie: And you were NEVER serious.

Duo: Yes I was! Serious about Hilde.

Quatre: ^_^;;;

Heero: I'll give you five seconds, Maxwell. Then your life ends. *aims gun*

Relena: a-a-aHEM. *pointed look*

Heero: *exhasperated sigh*

Relena: *learned death glare*

Heero: *raises eyebrow*

Relena: *puppy face*

Heero: *lowers gun* I hate you.

Relena: ^____________^

Wufie: *cackles*

Trowa: She has you on a leash, Heero.

Heero: *glares*

Quatre: Can't we all just get along?

Duo: I SWEAR! I'm NOT dense! I'm NOT! I'm just overly-American! The writers tried to make me too American!!!! I wanna grill a burger...

Wicked: *walks in, glaring* You, you, and YOU are supposed to be in the lair. *glares*

Trowa: *sighs* It was fun while it lasted.

Wicked: I AM THE QUEEN OF THE KIDNAP THE BISHI CULT! YOU WERE ALL KIDNAPED! GET YOUR SECCY ARSES BACK WHERE THEY BELONG!!!

MBF: *sits with same picture of a bishi* Lil' BI-ISHI!!!! You are the ONE FOR ME!!!! You are the ONE I LOVE!!!! Sent from UP ABOVE!!!!

Relena: Mellie, you're scary...

Trowa: No one questioned your authority. Stop looking at us like that.

Wicked: TO THE LAIR!!!!!!!!!!!! *drags Quatre, Trowa, and Zechs (who appeared out of nowhere) to the bishi lair*

Wufie: I hate that woman.

MBF: That woman hates you.

Wufie: *glares*

MBF: Start something, ho. I dare you.

Relena: You two. Stop.

MBF: I heard that, wuffles!

Wufie: I AM NOT WUFFLES!

Duo: I like waffles!!!!

Heero: Dense. Relena, let me kill him.

Relena: Heero, no. Wufie, stop talking, Mellie, calm down.

Duo: There was this one time where Hilde was only wearing waffles...

Relena:

MBF: SAY THAT TO MY FACE, HO!!!! *tackles Wufie*

Relena: MAKE IT STOP!!!!!

Heero: I can!!! Oh, oh, oh!!! I CAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!

Relena: Shoot him, and no more "negotiations".

Heero: That's hardly fair.

Relena:







Okay, so now that that's out of my system...This happiness factor...I'm happy all the time for no apparent reason, and I freak people out. I like to cackle, too, so I'm really always happy. ^__^ I scared this girl so badly the other day, she left the dorm. Oops...

Anywho...Chocolate makes me happy. Or my lil' bishi. *glomps lil' bishi*

YESIREE!

And...yeah, completeing something...like math homework...*shudder*

Bob makes me happy. Wicked makes me happy. And...did I already mention the bishi? *glomps lil' bishi...maybe again*

Hey, Heero? What's the difference between a sack of potatoes and Duo?

Just curious.

How about a sack of 'tatoes and Wuffles?

What about a sack of taters and Qautre?

And Trowa?

WHAT ABOUT YOU?!?!??!

Relena: *seemingly innocent smile* I know the answer to that last question. Tee hee hee...

[Katy-did Bug]

Or you you could take your own advise and totally freak him out until he has ni choice but to leave you alone.
I thought i read somewhere that you told some girl to freak out her date if she didn't like him.

[Katy-did Bug]

Dear Heero
I know I've been posting alot but the previous posts have suddenly given me an urge to respond.
I want to rescue the people held captive in Ms. Wicked's lair, should I?
If so, how would I go about doing so. Do you think I should call the Human Rights Organization, I have a feeling that whats going on in that lair isn't legal.
But I have a question, are you still looking for a way to get vengence on Miss Catalonia? Even though I do respect her, I think you should get her back.
Have you ever thought of a way to embaress her?
I have a good joke that would.
Simply make sure you two are in a crowd of people but that everyone can hear you. lIKE A crowded library and tell her this joke.
What to blondes and spaghetti have in common?
then if she says something like "I don't know".
(if You're under the age of 17 don't read this)
Or should i even tell the answer?
Please reply.

[Shinigamigrul]

Wicked: TO THE LAIR!!!!!!!!!!!! *drags Quatre, Trowa, and Zechs (who appeared out of nowhere) to the bishi lair*

LOL where is the Bishie lair.......me want to visit Yuy-san please dont kill Duo or any one at BI it would be rather messy....

[Heero]

There will be no killing from my hands... but you can still do a whole lot withou really "killing"

Potaoes are vegitables, and the ex-gundam pilots, including me, are humans. That is the most important differance. But therre are many others, such as height, sleeping patterns, and thought processes.

And although your joke may be amusing, that is hardly revenge. I'm not seeing the vengance in this plan. Not to mention that I will most likely nevr see her in a crowded library.

[Melville's Best Friend]

Dorothy wouldn't be embarassed over a joke. Dorothy's the kind of woman who would laugh at you then stab you (literaly) in the back after you said it. And then she'd sneer. She still sneers. Even after her house "MYSTERIOUSLY" blew up. The FDP thinks it was leaking gas.

:-?

They're too stupid for their own good.

Yeah, Heero. I know they physical differences to a potato and all the G-boys. Good grief. You're no fun. Relena's more fun than you. More so when she's drunk, but you probably already know that. ^__^
(keep her away from vodka at all costs)

Anywho, I was wondering something. Why is it that when someone buys something that tastes bad, they insist you taste it? I mean, if it's BAD, why would you want to taste it?

"Taste it, it's disgusting."

"I don't wanna'."

"But it's really gross."

"Yeah, I don't wanna'."

"I mean, it's NASTY. Want some?"


It BOTHERS me. *shudders* Thanks.