Blissful Ignorance

It was good, but the way you wrote the character's thpughts using ::thought:: was really a bit...annoying. Other than that, I really can't complain, but try adding more depth and detail to the characters as you go along. Good job anyway,

Hey everyone i edited this, filling in some holes and stuff so i hope you like the edition to the story. Don't forget to read the other chapters.