[FIC] Natural Reaction

[dd]

The hallways were full of students, as one might expect.

Walking between classes?? talking in groups?.. laughing and goofing off?? none of them seemed to have a care in the world.

Sousuke envied the other teenagers, even though he wasn?t consciously aware that he did. At the moment, he felt distant, estranged. More than usual There was something on his mind?? something any of the other guys might be able to explain to him?? but he wasn?t close enough to anyone to ask them.

The issue wasn?t a crucial one; but, it did raise a number of questions.

Questions were no big deal to Sousuke, as long as they had corresponding answers. Unanswered questions could be a trap, or an obstacle at the most inopportune time. Any unnecessary impediment or uncertainty was like a black mark on his soul, or an unseen tear in a fully-laden shoulder harness.

Who could he ask?

If he were aboard the TDD-1, he could ask Kurz or Melissa. But, that might get him far more than he bargained for. Captain Testarossa is very intelligent; but, she was not someone he could ask. Not at all! Lt. Commander Kalinin? Perhaps?? but, that might raise questions regarding his fitness for the current assignment.

Kaname was the person he was closest to at Jindai. Unfortunately, she was the last person that he could approach. She was central to the issue in one manner, and her reactions were routinely unpredictable. And, as with Kalinin, he did not wish to raise any suspicions regarding his fitness to perform his duties.

Walking through the student lounge, Sousuke stopped when someone called out his name. It was Shinji. He was seated at a table, his gaming console out and operational.

?Sousuke! Hey, Sousuke!? When the ebullient young man saw the young soldier?s face, he looked somewhat concerned. ?Is there a problem, Sousuke? Did you do something to get Kaname upset again? You look troubled.?

Sousuke shook his head. Shinji was a friend. He was also a boy. While his history would not suggest that he might be knowledgeable on the subject, he still might have some amount of insight. The only question was whether or not he could be sufficiently discrete.

?It is not a problem. At least, I do not think so.? The Mithril operative looked around, seeing whether or not anyone was listening in. ?It is?? uhhh?? I believe?.? He began to perspire, ever so slightly. ?It is a gender-related issue?.?

?Really? What is it?? Shinji suddenly looked eager. He wasn?t a ladies man by any stretch of the imagination, but he loved to hear about other guys? experiences with the gentler sex. ?Is it about dating??

Sousuke swallowed hard. Shinji was all together too eager sounding. He might be prone to gossip. If not, his overly enthusiastic state might prompt him to blurt out something he shouldn?t. He could not be used as a source of information under those circumstances.

The risk of mission failure would be too high.

?Negative. It is not about dating. I still do not understand the nature of that kind of interaction.? That was an understatement. ?However, it may well be a byproduct of male-female interaction. I cannot be entirely certain.? For a moment, he wondered if Mithril might have a manual on the subject. ?If there was an experimental model, I would make use of it.?

?Huh?? Shinji looked perplexed. Then, his features brightened. ?I?m not sure I know what you?re talking about, but I do have something that?s kind of like research!? He waved his hand over his gaming system.

?I see,? Sousuke said, his eyes intense. ?Does your portable computer provide answers about reactions between girls and boys?? This might be perfect! Machines could keep secrets, as long as one did not enter classified data into hackable locations.

?Well-l-l-l-l?? not really?? but, it does show things that can happen in relationships.? Shinji had owned or played just about every dating simulator known to man. But, it hadn?t given him the courage to ask anyone out on a date.

?It would be worth exploring, in that case.? Sousuke looked down at the flip up screen. ?What program is that??

?It?s a game, Sousuke. ?Tokimeki Memorial , Forever With You?. Dating simulation software published by Konami. This is the game that created a whole new genre in this country, with countless fans.?

?If it is that popular, then it must serve as a worthy reference.? Sousuke flexed his fingers. He might finally be onto something. ?How does one approach this mission??

Shinji smiled. Sousuke couldn?t go a day without using the word ?mission?.

?Your mission ?? if you choose to accept it??is to obtain a girl's whole-hearted love confession under a legendary tree. That rewards the lovers with an everlasting relationship, hence the subtitle, forever with you. You'll use various means to achieve your goal, with help from your friend Yoshi. You must complete your assignment before the Graduation day. In the process, you need to make as many memorable moments as possible so that you and your potential lover can look back fondly.?

?Uhhh?? lover?.? Sousuke twitched for a moment. That was a word that had little meaning to him in a concrete sense, but conjured up countless confusing images in an abstract fashion.

?It?s just a game, Sousuke.? Shinji chuckled. ?The most important activity is dating. To find out the proper way to do that, there is an online survival guide.?

?Ahhh!? Sousuke brightened up, sitting more erect. ?It is truly well thought out, then. Too many gaming applications neglect safety issues and references to personal security.?

Shinji just shook his head and sighed before continuing.

?The girls will react to your choices and then tell you how she felt about the date?.. fun, interesting, pleasant, boring, etc. You want the best response each time, unless you want to decrease a girl's interest toward you. You can skip a date, but the result is disastrous and promptly gets an angry call from the girl whom you stood up. Don't skip a date unless it's most dire situation.?

?I see. I will take that as a direct order. Excuse me while I take note of this.? Sousuke added that command to his PDA. ?Proceed.?

Shinj sat motionless for a few moments. Sitting with his friend made him feel relatively normal at times.

?If you have neglected a girl for long time without calling, or asking her out, she'll set a bomb. The bomb will explode without a notice, unless you check with Yoshi. It has a drastic effect of reducing almost all girls' stats. The girls who are friends to each other have more drastic effects on each other than those who are not.?

?What? That is serious!? Sousuke?s mouth went razor straight. ?I was unaware that girls would take things so seriously.? Sousuke scratched his head, looking sorely puzzled. ?Why does Miss Chidori pretend to be so averse to explosives, if they are part of a young woman?s maturation process??

?Geeez!? Shinj slapped his forehead louder than he wanted to. It hurt. The sound drew the attention of people at the adjacent tables. ?It?s just part of the game, Sousuke. It?s not a real bomb. Just a dramatic way of showing that a girl is very unhappy.?

?A real bomb would be a clear indication of a girl?s displeasure,? Sousuke replied. ?It would lead to far less uncertainty than the words they often use.? Sousuke was constantly confused by Kaname?s words and actions, especially since they often seemed to be at odds with one another, or subject to change at a moment?s notice.

?Yes-s-s-s?. I can see that.? Shinji held his breath for a moment, and then resumed his instructions. ?Just remember that a girl doesn't need to be at the unhappy state to bomb you. She can be in love with you but set a bomb because you seem to be ignoring her love. Whatever the reason, if a bomb explodes, you'll need to amend things with the girl as fast as you can. But, the damage will already be done, and it may be hard to recover. So, you might want to revert back to the old saved game and try again.?

?That is good advice,? Sousuke said, looking at one of the bruises on his forearm. It was still roughly in the shape of a halisen head. ?Such a mechanism would be invaluable in real life.?

?For some people more than others,? Shinji answered with a twinkle in his eye. He caught sight of something?? more accurately someone?? that Sousuke did not. ?Since the ultimate goal of Tokimeki Memorial is to fall in love with a girl by the end of the three years that span the game, care must be taken to keep only your desired girl enraptured while keeping the other girls at arm's length??making certain that they are still friends.?

?I do not??hmmmm?? Sousuke looked concerned. ?It is important to carry out missions to the best of one?s abilities. But, that is a problem if one is improperly informed, or inadequately armed. I have no knowledge of keeping a girl enraptured.?

?Either do I,? Shinji admitted. ?But, I just try to do what seems best to keep the girl happy. Their reactions are sometimes quite instructive.?

?I see,? Sousuke said, a serious look on his face. He added more data to his PDA. ?This would be much safer than dealing with Kaname. Do any of the girls carry paper fans in the game??

?No,? Shinji answered, grinning. ?Not that I have ever seen. Not too many girls do that, you know.? He looked behind the two of them again, awash in expectation. Initially, he thought that the approaching debacle might be fun.

?The first trap to avoid is trying too hard to please all of the girls all the time. By the middle of the second year, you should have a number of girls blushing over the thought of you, but that has a high probability of getting you into trouble as the end of the game nears. The more properly you date or talk with or walk home with a girl, the more often she will expect you to pay attention to her. If you treat a lot of girls like this, keeping them all happy will be very difficult.?

Sousuke was entering information at a prodigious rate.

?It gets hard for one reason?? the only thing I dislike about the game?.. you may only make one phone call per turn. Since you can only make one call per turn, you must design a strategy that works with that artificial limitation. I can share some approaches that work in the game.?

?That would be appreciated. But, as a professional?? no, forget I said that, I am not a professional?? as a responsible young male, I should make attempts to learn things on my own at first. If I am unsuccessful, I will seek out appropriate training.? Sousuke put his PDA down for a moment.

He was still oblivious to one important fact.

?The second trap to avoid is where you pay little or no attention to anyone but your desired girl. It will lead to a lot of problems during the last third of the game. All of the girls have some degree of interaction with each other in the game's profile. This is why bombs can be big trouble. Like in real life, girls will get together like hens and talk about your good and bad points. If they have good things to say about you among themselves, then at least one girl will have increased expectations just from the gossip. If they have bad things to say, then it affects their feelings and lowers their threshold to bomb you.?

?Hmmmmm. I am quite familiar with girls discussing things which they consider to be my bad points. It appears unavoidable. The situation is disheartening, since as they criticize me for necessary characteristics and well-reasoned decisions.? Sousuke ran his fingers over the series of bumps on his head. He was too engrossed with his note-taking to take notice of the metronomic tapping noise behind him. ?Girls are often foolishly emotional. They believe they possess infinite knowledge, and do not wish to hear otherwise.?

?All girls?? Shinji asked, a wicked gleam in his eyes. ?Or just a certain girl??

Sousuke was busy looking at the information on Shinji?s game screen. His failure to answer saved him a great deal of grief. No, in truth, it merely delayed the inevitable.

?Any way,? Shinji said. ?The way you arrange each successive turn, while you are working on improving your stats?? things like your abilities in humanities, art, science, athletics, and fashion??will greatly affect when and how many girls you will meet during the game. There are two ways to build stats; evenly or unevenly. Use the even method if your goal is Shiori or Megumi. Use the uneven method for the other girls. I will go into more detail later. There are four ways you will come to meet a girl in the game.? Shinji held up one finger.

?By knowing of them already, such as Shiori.? He held up another finger. ?By developing an outstanding stat , such as with Mio, Yuina, Ayako, Nozomi, Mira, and Yukari.? Another finger went up. ?By way of introduction, as with Yuko, Saki, Megumi, Yumi.? A fourth finger went up. ?And by random encounter, with Miharu. Miharu is somewhat of a mystery. You don't really interact with her in the course of the game, though you can go on one date with her just before endgame under rare circumstances. Miharu is who I call the consolation girl; she is the one you end up with if you don't win any of the interactive girls.?

?I see. While she is the only one who might pay attention, she is not entirely like Kaname.? Sousuke stretched his legs for a moment. ?Chidori interacts with me repeatedly, usually in some violent fashion. However, she is the only one around me, as none of the other girls make any kind of effort. I suppose one could view that as a consolation.?

Shinji scooted his chair back a bit, away from Sousuke. He looked at his gaming set-up, as if he were worried about its safety. The deep breathing behind him made the hair on his neck stand on end.

?Ummm? how you plan your dates and conduct yourself while on the dates is what will win or lose the game?? so ummm?... you will want to be at your best when dating your desired girl?? and to give her the best answer. You remember the other time you played one of these games?? ummm?? right??

?Yes! It was before Kaname had me go on a date with Mizuki. Even though I was forced to accompany the girl, and did everything correctly, Kaname threw me into the lake. All because I put my lips on Mizuki?s.? Sousuke almost turned, but didn?t. He was reading some strategies that Shinji had downloaded. ?You sound distressed. Does this subject cause you difficulty as well? Girls appear to be high maintenance equipment.?

Shinji was sweating heavily. He nodded when he saw someone put her finger to her mouth. He felt just like the man who prepares the rope for the gallows.

?Of course,??ummm?? even if you do what you think is best?? ummm?.. it may not turn out to be the best??but that is what makes Toki Memo just a little more like life than a game. But?? ummm?? that?s almost entirely lifelike for you, right?? Shinji couldn?t help himself, he leaned over and picked up his gaming system, pretending to dust off the screen.

Sousuke did not notice that the entire room had formed a circle around his table, watching like the crowd at the ancient Coliseum in Rome. As sharp as he was during combat, he brought obliviousness to new heights in certain situations.

?Just as in real life, I think?? ummm?? dating the girls of TokiMemo is not a science, but an art.? Shinj cradled his console in his arms then slowly took a few steps into the crowd.

?Hmmm?? girls are an art?? Sousuke sounded uncertain. ?Not a science?? He rubbed his chin. ?That would explain their aversion to anything logical. Except for one girl I know, who is very clever and extremely logical.? He thought of Tessa. ?I shall endeavor to employ the lessons that I have learned in Art Class, then?.?

Sousuke finally caught on, when he heard someone whisper loudly about his experiences in that class, especially the episode where he ended up hanging from a tree, bound in ropes. ?Uhhh?? what?.?

He never had the opportunity to ask his question. His eyes widened when he saw Kaname behind him. Her eyes were narrowed and her smile was brittle enough to fracture under the slightest touch.

?Once an idiot, always an idiot, huh Sousuke?? She brought her halisen around, and stroked it slowly. ?Another stupid dating game??

?Yes, Kaname.? Sousuke stood up. ?There are things that I?.. uhhh?? need to learn?.?

?That goes without saying?.? Kaname?s voice was deceptively sweet. ?You ignorance has me enraptured, Sousuke. Do you know that??

The girls in the crowd all began smiling. The guys tensed up some, seeing one of their own treated in such a fashion. Then they relaxed, realizing it was only Sousuke. Just like the game was supposed to be educational to Sagara, his coming experience would prove instructive to them.

?Really, Kaname? Do you wish for me to keep you enraptured?? Sousuke began sweating.

?Ooooh! Who would want that?? Kaname?s eyes flashed, but her face looked needy for just a moment. ?Big idiot!? Striking like an agitated cobra, she unleashed a tremendous swing of the paper fan. Sousuke barely managed to dodge.

?But?.? Sousuke saw the halisen descending again.

?The stupid game is much safer than dealing with me,? the blue-haired girl said, grinning when she saw Sousuke?s head strike the tabletop, and then bounce back up again. ?The first trap to avoid is trying too hard to annoy a certain girl with everything you say and do!? She swung again. ?You will never have any girls blushing over the thought of you, but have a high probability of getting into trouble when you keep walking everywhere behind one girl, even though she does not want you to pay attention to her.?

?Then why?.? Sousuke gulped when Kaname?s erratic swing barely missed hitting him in a uniquely male place.

The guys all groaned. The girls took notes.

?The girls will never have anything good about you to say about you among themselves, and no one could possibly have lower expectations after the gossip. ? Kaname missed as Sousuke made a remarkably quick roll off of the table, knocking a number of bystanders to the floor. That didn?t slow her down, however. Instead, it made her grit her teeth and snort like a bull. ?And no one can criticize you for necessary characteristics and well-reasoned decisions?? they don?t exist!?

Sousuke seemed to disappear right before the enraged girl?s eyes. But, she knew just what to do.

?EVERYBODY DOWN!?

Each and every teenager, with the exception of a certain sergeant, immediately dropped to the floor.

?Uhhh?? Sousuke?s utterance annoyed Kaname even more. She was still in a foul mood from the day before, when the young operative had snuck in and removed all of the arrow tips before gym class, and had been caught with listening devices when she had her scheduled appointment with the career counselor. The fact that he had thrown her book bag out of the window during a downpour hadn?t helped either. The homeroom clock had been on the fritz, ticking loudly and abnormally quickly.

Naturally, a certain boy had been concerned about a time-bomb.

?What??? Kaname?s swing knocked a different clock off of the wall when Sousuke jumped out of the way. ?Makes you think?.? One of the murals painted by the art class sported a new slash mark. ?That girls are often foolishly emotional!?

?Kaname, you?.? Sousuke?s was unable to finish. Each time he dodge one of the angry girl?s swings, he annoyed her even more. If he had simply stood and taken his beating, things would have been defused by now.

Kaname had a lot of pent-up aggression to get out of her system. It had been a rather Sousuke-esque few weeks, and her recent kinder gentler handling of the young military agent had been straining at the seams.

?Me? ME?? This time, the paper fan finally connected, hitting Sousuke in the chin, sending him cartwheeling in dramatic fashion. By serendipity, he landed in Mizuki?s lap. The startled girl tried to slip out from under him when she saw the look on Kaname?s face. ?Why don?t you put your lips on her again, Sousuke??

?Really, Kaname?? Sousuke turned to look at a frightened Misuki.

?OOOOOH!?

Kaname swung hard again.

?BAKA!?

Sousuke tumbled off of Misuki. ?And what is that comment about girls being high maintenance equipment?? That had all of the females in the room frowning and muttering amongst themselves. ?Equipment! And girls are illogical? Except for one stupid twit of a girl who is so very clever?? Kaname?s features were unreadable. ?Well then, why don?t you marry her or something!?

?Kaname, I do?.? Again, Sousuke was cut off.

?Save those words for the priest, you moron!? Eschewing the halisen, she pushed Sousuke over Ryo and Maya who had bent down behind him. ?Girls, go get that rope from art class. Remember, we?re an art, not a science.?

Kaname?s actions, and those subsequent actions of the mob of girls, did not have Sousuke reliving his confounding and curious reactions from earlier in the month . As such, when the janitor cut him down?? with a utility knife, not a chainsaw?? he approached Shinji again, who was almost loath to put the game back on.

At one point, having relented, the bespectacled young man was describing the various girls in the game to his battered and bruised friend.

?Shiori Fujisaki. She?s the star of Kirameki High School. Pretty face. Great figure. Really good at all sports. And, she?s a straight-A student. Some of the boys fight over her, but most consider her to be something of an idol. She has really high standards when it comes to men. Her hobbies are collecting hair bands and listening to classical music. Her favorite food is spaghetti. She wants a guy with a dream, who she can admire from the bottom of her heart.?

?That one sounds somewhat familiar,? Sousuke mused, checking to see if any of his teeth were loose. ?Do they describe violent tendencies for her? Does she like to cook? Does she have any secret mental abilities making her attractive to terrorist organizations??

?Huh?? Shinji screwed up his face. ?Terrorists? I think we?ve all had enough of that kind of stuff, don?t you?? Shinji moved on to the next character. ?Saki Nijino. She?s the manager of the Athletic Club, she's popular with all of all the boys. She'd rather cheer others on than participate herself. She tends to be a bit nosy, but she takes good care of people and she always supports her boys. Her hobby is cooking. Her ideal type is a guy who put his heart into anything he does.?

?I see. It is good to be respected for what you do.? Sousuke jotted down some notes on his PDA. ?Nosy is not good. But, it is good to support one?s forces?? I mean?? uhhhh?? friends?.?

?Yes,? Shinji said, smiling. Sousuke and his military perspective on things made him his idol. ?Mira Kagami. Wow. I wish she were real.? He stared at the scene for a moment, then used the controller to spin her character around. ?She?s one of the most beautiful girls at Kirameki High School. She is so confident of her the way she looks, that she takes a rather haughty attitude toward boys. She likes to eat melon. I wonder if that?s symbolic?.? He pointed to the figure?s rather large and obvious upper attributes. ?She likes a handsome guy who can be a beautiful couple with her.? He sighed, ?I wish I could couple with her?? know what I mean?.?

?Couple? As in pair?? Shinji?s nerdy fantasy went over the young agent?s head.

?Sure. That too. Just look at them.? The quiet boy zoomed the view in, and focused the perspective on Mira?s rather risqu? clothing. Her cleavage was deep and spectacular, looking more real than any computer generated image had a right to. ?Look at them. They?re so?? so round. They move when she walks. Watch.?

Sousuke swallowed hard. He felt that telltale sensation again. Maybe this game would end up showing him what he needed to know after all.

?Uhhh?.. I see?? I would certainly like to try this game out when I have free time.? The young soldier suddenly felt self-conscious. He slid his chair further under the table.

?Sousuke, look out?.? Shinji?s warning was too little too late.

?AGAIN??

It was Kaname. She had returned, on her way to class. When she saw what the screen was zoomed in on, she began to growl.

?I see,? She bit her words off tersely. ?That?s what you like. That?s what you think of women. That?s just like all soldiers, I bet!? She pushed the ?off? button on Shinji?s game. ?And she wasn?t even wearing a bikini!? She began turning read. ?Jerk!?

?Shinji? Does Mira wear a bathing suit later in the game?? Sousuke just didn?t get it.

?AHHH! I HATE YOU!?

Kaname clenched her fists, turned around, then marched out of the room.

?Hmmm. When the girls act like that, it would mean bombs are coming?? Sousuke asked Shinji.

Shinji just sighed.

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The light in the austere cabin was low.

A figure hunched over a small computer screen, sweat dripping down his face, the water droplets making small spots on the polished metal table top when they gave in to gravity.

Gentle rhythmic rolling motions gave the illusion that the computer image was alive, as the submarine banked ever so slightly through one turn. Sousuke was so intent on the simulation, that he paid little attention when the door to his cabin swung inward.

?Sousuke!? Kurz Weber?s loud shout had his younger squadmate jumping. ?So this is where you?ve been hiding yourself a way!? The blonde-haired soldier looked at his other companion and shook his head. ?Looks like we both lose. I bet he would be cuddling up next to Tes-s-s-s-s-a-a-a?? He grinned, waiting for Sousuke?s reaction. He was not disappointed. ?You bet he would be working on Arbalest.?

?Stow it, asshole!? Merlissa Mao pushed Kurz out of the way roughly. ?Don?t let you Tessa hear you talking like that! She?.? The irascible Sgt. Major was interrupted.

?Yeh, yeh?? Captain Cutie Pie would get her hopes up?.. you know how much she?? OOOPPPHHH??Awwwwww.? Kurz doubled over like a folding cot when a kick caught him square on the groin.

?So Sergeant,? Melissa said, addressing Sousuke. ?You?ve been away for a while, and when you get back, you make it a point to avoid your buddies!? She drained off the rest of a beer can, tossed it over her back, and heard it land in the empty trash receptacle after ricocheting off of Kurz? forehead. ?What gives? Chidori giving you a hard time again??

?Uhhh?.? Melissa?s words had Sousuke being entirely too literal in his thoughts for a moment. He almost said something inadvisable. ?Not really. She has been her usual self.? He looked down at his game. The flashing icon meant that the girl was expecting an answer. Now, if not sooner.

He didn?t want to get bombed.

?Ha hah-h-h-h!? Kurz clapped his hands. ?Then she has been giving you a hard time!? He smiled a large self-satisfied smile. ?But, I bet it hasn?t taught you a thing, right?? He shook his head and held his arms out. ?And she?s such a cuddly looking thing?? if only I looked young enough to be in high school?.? He sighed ?Angel-l-l-l-l-l?.

?Shit!? Melissa said, looking like she was prepared to smack Kurz again. Seeing Sousuke quickly type something into the computer, she walked around behind him to see what he was so flummoxed by. ?What the f-ck is this??

?Uhhh?.? Sousuke looked up into Melissa?s face. ?It?s a game. And research.?

?Research?? The attractive woman took out a pack of cigarettes and lit up. ?What the hell do you need to research with that, Sousuke??

?Oh-h-h-h?? naturally, Kurz curiosity was piqued. ?What does our intrepid hero have there?? He sauntered over to stand behind his superior.

?Don?t stand directly behind me Weber. And your f-cking eyes better be on the f-cking screen!? Melissa cocked her elbow, then turned around to blow smoke at her subordinate.

?What else would I be looking at, Sgt. Major?.? The troublesome soldier grinned, then stepped back and to the side. ??.Babe?? He ducked, a fraction of a second before Mao?s foot swept pass, ruffling his hair.

Sousuke, well versed in his SRT comrade?s interpersonal reactions, ignored the bickering and put all of his intention in the game. He had not managed to come nearly as far as he might like, and did not want to have to start again at his last saved spot.

?Yuina Himoo, that does not make sense at all.? Sousuke spoke without thinking. ?You may consider yourself a genius, but a Koala at the zoo cannot be a new Bio Weapon!? Sousuke shook his head, finding it hard to believe that the self-centered and wildly ambitious blue-haired girl could believe her own claim. Who could believe such a thing? ?And you should not want to rule the world like a mad scientist. I am required to fight people like that!?

?Whoa-a-a-a-h?.? Kurz came to stand at Sousuke?s shoulder. ?Is Casanova here chatting online with some beautiful girl or something?? He looked down at the screen and looked bewildered for a moment. ?She?s awfully cute, in a bookish way I guess. But that?s animation, not a photograph?.? He chuckled. ?You and blue-haired chicks. Does Kaname know about her??

?Jackass!? Melissa pulled Kurz away from the screen. ?It?s obviously a game of some sort. Just what are you doing, Sousuke??

?I am attempting to have a suitable date with Miss Yuina Himoo?? age 16.?. 161 cm in height?? blood type A??birthday July 7. She is a member of the science club and computer club, so I am attempting to arrange occurrences that will keep her satisfied, without falsely making her believe that she is my chosen girl.? Sousuke worked the cursor, picking out his chosen response.

Melissa cursed. Kurz began laughing louder and louder, and then collapsed onto Sousuke?s bunk.

?I fail to see what is so humorous.? Sousuke looked perturbed. He did not like to have his privacy intruded on. It was worse to be made fun of by his friends.

That only had Kurz gasping for air, holding his belly. Melissa tried to hold back a smile, but failed. She started chuckling, before breaking out in a laugh.

?Why??? Kurz managed to force out a few words at a time. ??..are you??? He began banging one fist against the bulkhead. ???playing a?.? He snorted, then wiped his nose. ???dating video game?.?

?Probably because they don?t leave any bruises,? Mao said. Walking over to Kurz, she chopped him hard across the abdomen, making his eyes bulge. ?Stop making fun of Sousuke.?

?B-B-B-But?.? Kurz sucked in air, wincing. ?Y-Y-You w-w-were?.? His voice was muffled when Melissa tossed a pillow over his face.

Sousuke threw his hands up in frustration. He had done something wrong. The girl had reacted poorly.

?So, Sousuke.? Melissa stood straighter, trying to sound as if she were debriefing her fellow soldier. ?Is this so that you can learn how to behave around Miss Chidori? Have you begun having feelings for the girl?? She raised one eyebrow.

?Or is it just safer to feel up a computer girl?? Kurz rolled off of the bunk, just as the beer can Melissa threw hit where his head had been. Picking up the can, he grinned, about the pop the tab. He rolled the can back after Mao drew her combat knife.

?Negative,? Sousuke said, turning off the game. ?I was hoping that the male character I play would find himself in a certain situation. I was hoping to learn what one should do in such a state, and why such a thing occurs.?

?What?? Kurz grinned. ?You find yourself sporting a woody when some cute girl bent over??

The long-haired Arm Slave pilot was only joking.

Sousuke froze. Kurz had explained that slang to him on more than one occasion. He swallowed hard.

Melissa?s mouth curled upward. Her eyes widened some, and then narrowed. She opened her beer and took a long pull.

?Hu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-h-h-h-h-h-h?.? Kurz noticed Sousuke?s zombie like stare and beads of sweat. It couldn?t be! Could it?

This could be a goldmine!

Sousuke didn?t say anything. He shuffled his feet a bit, and tried to look less tense. One eyelid began twitching.

?Now way!? Kurz rubbed his hands together. ?This is just too rich!? He looked ready to run out of the room shouting Sousuke?s predicament at the top of his lungs. ?Who was it? Was it?..Ka?? na??may?.?

Sousuke opened his mouth, then closed it again. He might still be clueless, but he had learned to think before speaking on occasion.

?Does she know what happened?? Kurz was practically dancing. ?Damn! Would that have been a sight to see!? he frowned, seeing Sousuke look down. ?Oh, she doesn?t know, huh?? He smiled. ?I can take care of that for you. Whoo-hooo-hoo-o-o-o-o-o??

Melissa crushed her now empty beer can on top of Kurz? head.

?You tell the girl?? I make you a girl?.? She took out her knife, pantomimed grabbing a pair of objects, then made a slashing motion.

Kurz was almost certainly certain that Mao was joking. But, with her, absolute certainty was a must. He had learned that the hard way on numerous occasions.

?I want to do it?.? Melissa?s joke had Sousuke looking frantic for a moment, before he resumed his rigid pose. ?Just kidding, Sousuke. I would never do that. You know me?.?

?Affirmative,? Sousuke said, letting out some air in relief. He scowled at Kurz, who merely put on an innocent look and raised his hands in mock disbelief.

?So, since I?m willing to keep your secret?? and a certain Sergeant will do the same unless he wants to volunteer for janitorial duty when we get back to base?? how about you giving us the juicy details? Hmmm-m-m-m-m-m. Tell the Sgt. Major?.? Mao lit up another cigarette, despite the fact that she knew the young operative hated tobacco.

Sousuke clenched his jaw. His face was serene, but his eyes looked like those of a trapped animal.

?I can make it an order?.? Melissa, pulled up a chair, and then sat down, resting her chin on her hands.

Sousuke remained still.

?SERGEANT SAGARA!?

?Sir, Yes sir!? Sousuke stood up. He ignored Kurz, who snapped off a crisp salute to Melissa.

?At ease, Sousuke.? Melissa smirked. ?Now, you will provide me with the pertinent details. Immediately. We can do it here?? or in front of Kalinin?.? She showed some teeth. ?Mardukas?.? She smiled when she saw Sousuke flinch. ?And Tessa?.?

?Uhhh?.? Sousuke looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming tractor trailer.

Kurz looked at Mao with the deepest respect. He hoped to be that good some day.

?NOW, SERGEANT!?

?Uhhh?? yes, sir!? Sousuke actually felt better. He could deal with following orders without thinking. ?It is not a problem. I have noticed such a thing often, when I wake in the morning. My?.? He swallowed. That word gave him trouble for some reason.

?Penis,? Kurz added helpfully. ?Johnson. Dong. Prick. Peter. Pecker. Schlong. Tallywacker. Beef bayonet.? He thought that Sousuke would particularly appreciate that last one. ?Schwanz. Dick. Cock. Member. Thing. Lap Taffy?.? He would have continued for quite a while longer had Melissa not reached over to a nearby equipment locker, grabbed Sousuke?s combat shot gun, and rammed its stock into the blonde-haired soldier?s chimpoko.

?Continue, Sergeant.? Melissa nodded to Sousuke, who was wondering if the blue-faced Kurz needed immediate medical attention.

?In the morning, my?? thing??uhhh?? salutes.? Sousuke swallowed hard again.

?Stands at attention,? Mao said, fighting a smile.

?Affirmative.? Sousuke?s shirt collar was wet with sweat. ?Such a thing does not usually occur at other times. However?.? He hung his head and went quiet.

Melissa felt a little ashamed, teasing Sousuke this way. But, as the saying goes, ?that which does not kill you, makes you stronger?.

?Oooooooo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-h-h-h-h-h-h-h?.? Kurz? moan was truly pitiful.

?Hmmmm. Looks like Sgt. Weber won?t be saluting any time soon,? Mao said with a satisfied look in her eyes. ?So, I take it that K?.? She slowed down. Things needed to be less blunt with Sousuke. She didn?t want him snapping like a spring that was wound too tight. ?You found yourself standing at attention when someone or some part of someone passed in review??

?Uhhh?? affirmative?.? Sousuke nodded.

?Details, soldier. This is an operational review. You know the drill by now!? Melissa?s voice snapped like a wind-blown flag. Her sense of amusement was not picked up by her fellow SRT member.

?Yes, Sgt. Major!? Sousuke brought his feet together and stood taller. ?At 0800 hours, Tuesday, March 12, the mission girl dropped her textbook and uhhh?.? Sousuke paused. He did not need to tell Melissa who the ?mission girl? was. ?The girl bent over to pick up her book. For some reason my uhhh?.?

Melissa hid a grin behind her hand. With anyone else, this would not be a topic worth milking.

But with Sousuke?.

?At 1200 hours on Thursday, March 14, the mission girl walked close to me and purposely pushed me into the wall. She was wearing a scented substance that had my mind somewhat addled. In passing, her arm errantly contacted my?? uh?? thing?? and uhhh?.?

Melissa could picture that very thing happening. She would give a week?s pay just to see the look on Souuske?s face at the time. Still moaning in pain, Kurz chuckled down on the floor.

?Furthermore, at 1000 hours on Monday, March 18, the protected girl leaned over my shoulder to criticize my homework assignment. Her?? cushioned portions of female form??uhhh?? well, she was pressed against?.? Sousuke?s eyes had a faraway look for a brief instant.

Mao grinned, but shook her head. She sat up straight. The game had gone on long enough.

?At 1600 hours on?.? Sousuke was cut off.

?That?s enough, Sergeant.? Melissa knocked her cigarette ashes onto the floor.

?But there are other instances, Sgt. Major Mao?.? Sousuke said.

?Yes?? let?s hear those other instances, Sgt. Major Mao.? Kurz managed to stand, leaning to one side.

?I?ve heard more than enough, Sousuke. There is nothing for you to be concerned about. Those were all normal responses.? Melissa smiled. ?However, the only reason you are still alive is that Kaname did not catch wind of your?? anatomic windfall?.?

?I see. But, if they were merely normal responses, why should Miss Chidori?.?

?SOUSUKE!?

Melissa slammed her hand down on the table top, making the laptop jump. ?To you, it is a natural physiologic response. To her, it would be?.? Mao searched for the right word.

?The arming switch on a nuclear warhead,? Kurz said, imaging such a scene in his head.

?Precisely!? Melissa said. ?The reason is beyond you at this time. You?ll just have to trust me in this.?

?Affirmative,? Sousuke threw back his shoulders.

Kurz was smiling. This was too big of an opportunity to let slide by. They had not gotten the full amount of entertainment value out of things, as far as he was concerned. He knew just the ticket.

?So-o-o-o-o-o, Sousuke old boy?.? The blonde ran his hand through his hair. ?Is Kaname?? I mean ?the mission girl??? the only one who has caused you to have a hard on?? He tried to look and sound nonchalant. ?You?ve never popped one for?? Tessa?? have you?.?

Sousuke?s eyes went wide. So did Mao?s.

?Kurz?.? Melissa was not about to see her frail friend?s name dragged into this muck.

?SOUSUKE!?

Kurz used a trick from Mao?s book. Despite the fact that he wasn?t truly Sousuke?s superior, the ploy worked.

?When she lay on top of me and moved around?? after she had fallen from the M6?.. during the training sessions prior to her A.S. match with Sgt. Major Mao??I did not mean too?.? Sousuke looked like he expected to be brought before a tribunal for court martial and immediate execution.

?Yeeee-ha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h?..? Kurz jumped up and slapped his hand against the ceiling. ?My my my my my-y-y-y-y-y-y?.? Landing catlike on his feet, he gloated. ?Wait until Little Miss Captain hears this one.?

The sound of metal ringing against metal preceded total silence. Melissa held a knife hilt in her hand. The blade had snapped off when she rammed the weapon against the bulkhead, inches away from Kurz? ear. A few stray strands of his hair floated leisurely to the floor.

It was the wildly irreverent sergeant?s turn to swallow hard.

?Let?s keep that our little secret, OK Sousuke?? Kurz tried to smile.

?Yes. It is highly advisable,? Sousuke said. ?I would also request that Miss Chidori never hear word of this.?

?Agreed,? Melissa answered for her and Kurz. ?That is only fair. Whether or not he knows it, Kurz will also promise to keep your confidence.?

Kurz wisely kept quiet. For all of one minute. Another relevant question came to mind. There was no force on earth, not even self-preservation, that could have stopped him from asking it.

?Enough talk about Kaname and Tessa,? Kurz said. He grinned, seeing Sousuke stand more at ease. ?So, have you ever had a major bone for Sgt. Major Babe here??

Melissa?s mouth fell open.

Sousuke looked like he had been hit in the head with a 25 pound sledge hammer.

Kurz smoothed his finger nails against the rough edge of his uniform pocket. He relished the look on the woman?s face. Sousuke?s look was lagnape.

?Sousuke?.? Melissa was about to tell him that he didn?t have to answer. No, she was about to warn him not to answer, if he knew what was good for him. But, her womanly pride raised its head. Some part of her refused to believe that Sousuke could have responded in a particular way to a blue-haired brat and a silver-haired wallflower, but not to her. ?Answer the question.?

?N-N-Negative?.? Sousuke answered.

Kurz looked disappointed at fist. Then his eyes lit up.

This was even better!

?I won?t write you up?? dress you down?? or give you the same treatment I give the human punching bag over there.? Melissa stood up, and slowly bent over, not believing what she had just done.

?Uhhh?? the answer is still no, Sergeant Major Mao.? Sousuke stopped blinking. He was tempted to close his eyes altogether.

?Really, it?s OK.? Melissa rubbed up against Sousuke, then walked around to do what Kaname had done without thinking. She leaned hard against him.

?I am being entirely truthful to you, Sergeant major. I considered your demand to be an official order.?

Melissa?s face clouded over. For a brief moment, she almost decided to do something unthinkable just to get a rise out of Sousuke, so to speak. Trying to sound disinterested, she asked ?Why? You have a thing for younger women, I guess.?

?You are my superior officer,? Sousuke answered. ?I will not allow myself to react in such a fashion. I would have done so with Captain Testarossa, had she not caught me by surprise, then compounded the?? uhhh?? error??

Melissa nodded her head. Her pride would let her accept that response.

?That?s OK, sis!? Kurz walked over to stand next to Melissa. ?When you were putting on the sex kitten routine there, I think I snapped my fly.? He tossed the pull tap of an empty beer can off one of the walls, watching it zip from one end of the room to the other.

The following series of blows was too brutal to describe.

Melissa left Sousuke with some words of encouragement, telling him that he was merely a normal teenage boy. He could play the dating simulator for fun if he liked, but would not find anything of true use there. She told him to simply let nature take its course.

Kurz begged for help as he was dragged from the room. Receiving none, he vowed his revenge.

Sometime after the submarine staff had sat down for their dinners, then headed back to their respective cabins, there was a light rapping on Sousuke?s door.

?Enter,? he said, wondering who it might be.

?Sergeant Sagara?.? It was Captain Testarossa. ?Sousuke?? Sergeant Weber said that you needed my help.?

?Captain?? Sousuke began to sweat.

?He wouldn?t go into details. His jaw was swollen, so I didn?t force the issue.? Tessa played with her ponytail. ?He told me that you were having difficult with something at school. He mentioned Anatomy class. I was not aware that they taught Anatomy in high school in Japan.?

Sousuke shook his head. He had to cough before speaking. ?N-No?.?

Tessa bit her lip. Her eyes looked impossibly large. Nodding her head, she smiled.

?Don?t be all formal or something, Sousuke. When we?re on duty, I?m the Captain. But when you need my help with schoolwork or something, I?m just Tessa.?

?N-No?? we don?t have Anatomy class?.? Sousuke felt his fight or flight response growing in leaps and bounds.

?Then what?? Tessa raised an eyebrow, then let go of her hair.

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The students were all milling about, waiting for class to start.

Sousuke was instructing Shinji on the true value of sovereign Japanese Arms Slaves, shattering the boy?s treasured dreams in the process.

Kaname, watching the scar-faced soldier speaking knowledgably on a subject she had no desire to hear anything about ever again, struggled to find some pretense to go over there and admonish Sousuke, rousting him back to his desk.

?ATTENTION. WILL SOUSUKE SAGARA PLEASE COME TO THE PRINCIPAL?S OFFICE. IMMEDIATELY.?

The room was immediately awash in the buzz of whispered and normal voiced conversation. Everyone wondered what Sousuke could have done this time.

As Sousuke left to comply, he forgot to retrieve his PDA. The small functional computer drew Kaname?s attention. Not because personal digital assistants were expensive, and not because they were uncommon amongst her fellow students.

How could that big idiot leave that behind?

If she knew Sousuke, he didn?t merely keep his calendar, phone numbers, addresses, and class schedules on the thing. There could well be classified information somewhere in its files. Maybe even evidence of Mithril, or some clue to his true identity!

?Hey! I wonder what Sagara keeps in this?? One of the boys from the karate club picked up the hand held organizer. ?Maybe it?s records of how many times Kaname smacks him!?

?Nah,? one girl answered. ?The thing doesn?t have that much memory!?

Everyone laughed at that. Everyone but Kaname. Kyouko stopped when she caught a glance of her friend?s face.

?Could be dirty pictures!? One nerdy boy put in. ?Let?s check and see.?

?Hah!? Kaname couldn?t grab the device back in time. She would have to try a different tact. ?To Sousuke, a dirty picture would be a rifle without a scope, or a uniform without insignia.?

Everyone chuckled or nodded their heads. For some reason, Kaname sighed.

?We should still check!? A member of the soccer club said. ?It would be fun to find out what that guy would hide away!?

After that, it wasn?t a question of whether or not they should all invade Sousuke?s privacy, it was a battle to see who had the first privilege. That honor went to Oonuki, who snatched it from the grasp of the rugby team captain and slid across the floor to show it to Kyouko.

?Hey! That?s Sousuke?s private property. You shouldn?t mess with that!? Kaname?s stern warning went unheeded. ?Remember what happened when you drank from his thermos??

Everyone froze for a moment. The memory of the Full Monty Virus was not something that they were about to forget.

?Yeh. That damn thing might be booby trapped, or something!? One girl stood up and headed for the door.

?It could have a bomb in it!? Another girl hurried to join her.

?Or poison gas!? Putting his hand over his mouth and nose. A boy slid along the wall, as far away from the PDA as possible.

?Sure. Right. Even Sousuke wouldn?t do that.? Oonuki looked for agreement in Kyouko?s eyes, but found none. He pushed onward just the same, even as a growling Kaname pushed her way past her fellow students.

Looking at the large liquid crystal display, the eager boy used the miniature keyboard in combination with touch-screen technology. Trying to accessing the Palm OSX operating system, he planned to pull whatever data he could from the ROM chip. The programs should all be readily available instantly, without any need for loading times.

Kaname crossed her fingers. She hoped that Sousuike had set the thing up with some kind of system that required a code word or secret entry number. That, or voice recognition technology.

?Bingo! I?m in?.? Oonuki?s words had everyone clustering tightly around him, their fears and misgivings forgotten. One after another, some of them grunted or jumped when Kaname stepped on their feet or elbowed them out of the way.

?Omigod! Look at that. I can?t believe it?.? Oonuki?s voice was drowned out by gasps and a rising crescendo of muttering. ?It?s?.?

Kaname froze. Oh no! They must have found out something about Mithril! That could lead to all sorts of trouble. It might even lead the starched shirts in that organization to pull Sousuke off of the mission.

She didn?t want that! Wait. Of course she did. Right? Things would be peaceful again. There would be no more explosions. The muscles in one of her arms wouldn?t be larger than the other, due to constant halisen use. There were all sorts of benefits, weren?t there?

Weren?t there?

The true nature of her classmate?s discovery shattered her illusions of a tearful and heroic farewell, or a gleeful dance of freedom. As it turned out, Sousuke had managed to tell Tessa that he needed to study male anatomy, without being more specific than that. She had directed him to use Google on the internet, saying it was not a Captain?s place to teach such matters, blushing up a storm.

When Sousuke had asked if Tessa had a circulatory problem like Kaname?s, the small girl had run from the room.

Kaname was not aware of any of that. But, the next words she heard were more than enough. Her hands twitched. She bit her tongue. It almost seemed as if the room was spinning around her.

?Get a load of this!? One member of the karate club exclaimed, reading Sousuke?s notes. ?There are three types of erection. The first is psychogenic, these occur as a result of visual or auditory stimuli, or as a result of fantasy. Reflexogenic erections occur as a result of tactile stimulation of the penis, and are important in maintaining the erection during sexual activity. Finally, nocturnal erections occur during REM sleep. Although the exact mechanism is unknown, it is thought that low androgen levels is one of the components.?

?You forgot the fourth type,? Ryo quipped. ?Military erections, which occur at the mention of anything having to do with weapons and tactics.?

?And paper fan erections,? Maya added. ?They occur during beatings with a halisen.?

Everybody laughed and looked over at Kaname. She had no desire for anyone to look at her during that subject matter. Especially not when it was being talked about in connection with a certain moody military maniac!

?Sagara must have an erection all the time, then.? One boy looked over at Kaname. ?Right, Miss Class Representative?? He would be given the most onerous duties on the upcoming class trip. ?Wham!? He swung his arm in mock fashion. One of his buddies stumbled backwards, holding onto his head.

Oonuki continued reading where the other boy had left off. ?The physiological mechanism by which an erection occurs begins with an increase in blood flow to the penis, filling the sinusoids of the corpora cavernosum. The cavernosal smooth muscle relaxes to allow the expansion to facilitate the extra volume of blood. This expansion presses on the venous plexus, which creates an outflow obstruction, thereby increasing the pressure within the penis and aiding rigidity.? He stopped when he saw Kyoko blush.

Shinji, seeing a chance for some attention, resumed the rather clinical discourse. The information wasn?t fascinating. It was the fact that it was present in Sousuke?s PDA that made it so amazing.

?The relaxation of the smooth muscle of the?? you know?? penis? relies on the parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system controls ejaculation, and also causes constriction of smooth muscle. This constricts the blood containing lacunar spaces of the?? ummm, well ? penis and empties them of blood, therefore aiding detumescence. The maintenance of an erection and the tone of the cavernosal smooth muscle is determined by an integrated response to neural stimulation and paracrine or autocrine systems. Erections are brought about when the?? ummm? penis, or other erogenous zones, are touched. In addition, certain sights, sounds, smells, thoughts and dreams can trigger the blood vessels to open and an erection to form.?

It looked as if Shinji were about to pass out.

?That?? is?? enough?? of?? that!? Kaname grabbed the PDA, and smacked Shinji across the knuckles with her halisen. To be fair, she smashed the paper fan across the crown of Oonuki?s head.

?Mr. Boing Boing standing up, boys?? One clown ducked out of view when Kaname turned in his direction.

Finally safe in her seat, and watching as her classmates settled down and went about their normal habitual behavior, Kaname placed the PDA on her desk. She had no intention to peak at the things that Sousuke had entered. Well, not really. That was not the kind of stuff she had any interest in.

Still, she was curious. Could there actually be any classified information in there? Might Oonuki and the other idiots have stumbled on something much ?? ummm, bigger?? than the things that had them all so amused.

Blushing, she scrolled past the stuff that had already been read aloud, looking for other files. That led her to Sousuke?s diary, and the entries that had prompted his desire for research in the first place. Her eyes went blurry. Her hand went limp. The PDA bounced off of her desk, and skittered across the floor.

Someone stuck his foot out, and stopped the wayward device.

It was Sousuke.

When he walked over to Kaname, she was speechless, staring ahead, a deep blush on her cheeks. She refused to move, or look in Sousuke?s direction.

?Kaname. Are you alright?? Sousuke asked, suddenly concerned. Could a terrorist have attacked in some fashion, unbeknownst to his fellow classmates. ?Kaname! What?s wrong?? He was beginning to get worried.

?She?s probably fine, Sousuke.? Ren spoke calmly and quietly. ?It looks like she?s in shock again. She was reading your personal digital assistant, I believe.? The kind girl smiled. ?Some physiological responses are a mystery, aren?t they??

Sousuke too went speechless.

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THE END

A/N: Sizeable excerpts from an online ?Tokimeki Memorial - forever with you FAQ? site were woven into this story, as I have no personal experience with the game. Also, I took liberty to give the game characteristics it likely does not have.

[Morrighan]

Awww.....!!!! My, that's embarrassing....

Awesome job! I loved this one!

[Magsnus]

Yay, dd youre back awesome.

Great story, its fun when you give the other characthers as Shinji some more space and importance in your fics, I think that that brings alittle more life to the fic

Very amusing, I love how Kaname justified herself to peak into Sousukes PDA

[Melina]

LMAO Oh that would be soo embarrising! ^^ I wonder what else he has in that lil PDA of his.