The Man I Love

[Calla Lily]

"Once upon a time... I saw your face and I smiled."

- - -


The man I love is dead.


The man I love was always dead.
He lived a million different lives with a million different faces meeting a million different people.
Every day, every lifetime.


I knew him, but it wasn't enough.
And he knew me too, that much I'm sure.


He used to sit there across the table from me, I still have the bowl he ate from.
I sang to him.
Took him in and dressed his wounds.
He'd listen.


He watches me, I can feel it.
He doesn't say much, but when he does, he makes sure to get to the point.
Sometimes I wish he wouldn't.
He's changed, somehow.
He'll return to the place where it all started.


He's just waiting.
And so am I.
Because the man I love.


I killed him.


And one rainy day, he'll kill me too.

- - -

Note: Now who do you believe is speaking, Julia or Faye?

[Melina]

I think it's Julia cuz i don't think faye ever did anything that hurt spike that badly. OhI almost forgot lovely poem

[Mellie]

Hmm...It depends if it is during a certain point in the show or not. If it is before they meet I again, probably Julia. But if it is after Spike is killed probably Faye....

But anyways, I absolutely loved that poem. Just reading it held so much meaning (I guess while reading it I pictured it as Faye talking since I saw more of her time with Spike than Faye.) It was amazing, awesome job, Calla.

[wicked]

I say Julia because there's no one else for Spike but Julia (sorry Spike/Faye shippers!).

Gorgeous poem. It fits very well with how Julia never met Spike at the cemetry years prior and then how they do meet only to have bad things occur. And in a sense she did kill him because the main beef between Spike and Vicious (yay! Vicious) was her.

Lovely words. Thank you for posting and sharing!

~Wicked

[ice princess]

That was simply spellbinding. I don't really care who it is, because it's so succinct and raw that it could come from either. It's just specific enough to be Julia, and just vague enough to be Faye. I first read it as Julia, but then with the millions of people Spike influenced, there's no way to tell. And I'm sure you did that on purpose. The efficiency of your writing allows the reader to physically feel the subject's pain, so the subject's identity will probably be regarded as which woman the reader more responded to during the series. But don't get me wrong, I love Faye. It's just that I *shameless plug alert* have a crossover GW/CB fanfic in the works that cements, in my mind at least, that Julia and Spike are meant for each other, but Faye's role in both of their lives is not to be ignored, nor is it insignificant. So anyhoo, I saw the woman as Julia, but it's effective and heartbreaking either way. Splendid piece.

~ice princess

[Calla Lily]

Thank you very much for the great words, everyone. I'm obviously not going to say from whose POV it was from because 1.) it would ruin the poem 2.) you've all posed a good reason for either woman and 3.) it's fun to speculate so why spoil it?

~Calla.

[wicked]

Um, how about I'm the forum mod and I demand you tell me!

*glare*

*evil eye*

*hiss*

*scratch*

*puppy dog eyes*

*wibbles*

Fine then! No cookie for you!

~Wicked

[Calla Lily]

*lol* Wicked, Kira isn't going to be happy if he sees you like this....
Give the answer for a cookie? I see no cookie here, so pooh on you!

[wicked]

And why wouldn't my other darling not be happy to see me threatening someone? He's all about the killin'. Oh wait that's his other self. Hehe.... *shifty eyes*

You could have gotten a cookie in your Christmas card but nooo~o! You just had to go and piss off the mod. No cookies for you! EVER!



~Wicked (who does actually love and adore Calla Lily to no end and knows that she wrote about Julia even if she won't admit it)