Black Ink (Edited)

[Iesu]

Edited... The bold paragraphs are the major edit... Edited the ending mostly...

Black Ink

Red?
A strange red?
It can?t be mimicked by any ink, by any paint?
It was all red?

Death?
It was clear?
She was dead?
On street, she was lying?
I can not see her face?

Just her hand?
A broken watch?
Stopped at quarter past twelve?

She is?
Dead?
A pool under her?
And there was red?
The strangest red?
Blood?

A brown envelope?
The rotund police officer opened it?

An application form?
Her name?
A blur?
The date?
October 26, 2004?

The day?
She?
Died?

I sat up from my bed, shouting out to nothingness on the top of my damned Catholic lungs. The chill of winds rushed through uplifted cotton curtains, fluttering with the breeze that entered the open window, creating a whisper of echoes.
I couldn?t hear?
I didn?t want to hear it?
It was dark, almost pitch black, and I was glad for that. Were there a specter of the dream, a silent reminder, I wouldn?t see it. Only the slightest light from the crescent moon rested upon the window sill, its light clear without any interruption from shadows, another thing that eased me. It was light enough to keep me relatively sane through the night, any less would?ve driven me to wonder what in Christ was in the shadows, any more and I would just madden myself with paranoia. The dark was, as of the moment, my shield, and my wall, too high to let anything be seen by me.
I didn?t want to see?
I couldn?t bear to see?
Sweat trickled down my cheek, or was it a tear? I couldn?t even make myself to realize what was happening to me. My breathing was ragged, my eyes staring down in disbelief, the question echoing in my mind as I tried to fix my thoughts.
Who?
A long moment passed, my skin adjusting to the cold that crept in from the loss of a blanket, thrown to the floor at my wake. My eyes still glued upon the same thing, down. If I looked on, I would see it again, from the distance of my dream. As long as I distracted my sight down, everything would be alright. My watch on the desk blinked then beeped once with a sound where one could not stop but look reflexively, as I did.
Not an alarm, it was too early for that, just a reminder that another hour has passed, a reminder that I woke a bit too early. I stared at the luminescence of green, my breath held in my lungs, not even the slightest of movement until the light dissipated in a quick blink, in an almost unison, my breath escaped. My eyes still remained upon the watch, or at least to what I can see of it through the darkness. And I felt something else in me, creeping in my lungs and up to my head as it cleared, the breath escaping my lips, a dry laugh. I shook my head slowly, sweat that had run upon my hair stringing it as it moved with my shift.
I leaned back upon my bed, my arms moving behind my head as I laid back, trying to forget it all. It was just a dream; it was all a silent dream. I laughed once again upon my stare at the ceiling.
The winds still blew through, whispering what I could decipher of her name, ?L? li??

My mind was clear the next day, it had to be. It was my first day at my new work, another paycheck, another moment to make something of myself.
My mom and dad were on the phone, on their adventure around the world. They deserve it, I mean after raising us little devils they call children and working their butts off to make life easier for us. I was telling them about the usual, to why I still don?t have a girlfriend, to what I plan to do next week, the usual parent stuff. And, of course, I told them of my new job.
Of course they were glad that I had it, it was a step up after all. But something bothered me, I mean I didn?t go through college just to be a messenger boy but they said it was just probationary, and a quick promotion was in store for me in a couple of months, a year at most.
I hung up the phone after my parents saying something about having to sleep in order to party all night or of that sort. I just laughed, said my goodbyes, drank my coffee then moved off.
As I moved over to a mirror, my attention shifted from really handsome guy that I just saw moving into the mirror; heck, a guy has to have self esteem, right; to the calendar beside it, licking my dry lips as I shifted my necktie, rustling a bit without looking.
Today, it was June 7. It was only five months until?
I shook my head, trying to forget everything of the dream. I moved out to the walk way in a quick motion, I had to distract myself from that damned dream.
As I slammed the door of my car shut, I swore under my breath. I couldn?t stop thinking of her. It was something serious, were it true. But I knew the street in my dream, it was in this very city I resided in, and I knew the cop who opened the envelope, a high school buddy. Maybe it was just my imagination, I tried to shake it off again as I turned on the stereo, turning it up until my ears almost start to bleed. Glad that somebody had the great idea to make SKA.

I worked in some kind of scientific building, but because their finance division was already full, I had ended up with work as a message runner. But it didn?t really matter to me, tomorrow was bright, and I was ready for anything.
I started my work with ease, but in time it got really boring and tedious. Back and forth, my husky form didn?t really help with it, so each time I was huffing and puffing up and down the halls. This, at least made me glad that some guy had invented the elevator.
I had the mid-day-graveyard shift, since mid-day was most hectic, and graveyard cause the other messenger had a family he had to go home to. But it was okay, didn?t really bother me much. Transportation was my biggest concern there, but I had a car so it was solved as quickly as it came.

About two months into my work, the head honcho of the company made some kind of speech upon the stand. She was a bit shorter than the usual person, almost like a dwarf or a gnome. But she had great ideas popping out of her head so, in a moment we were listening. But, as usual, I got bored of the speech. It would come to me soon. I mean, nothing concerning the company ever escapes the ears of a messenger so I leaned back on my seat, yawned and looked around myself.
A voice from behind me moved through my ears, almost inaudible as I caught a glimpse of its source, a young woman that had leaned forward, trying to listen, ?Leon, what did she say??
The speech was still going on, and I was, as of contradiction to my already growing boredom, listening once again, so I spoke back to her, ?I?ll tell you later??
She nodded in reply as I nodded as well, moving my attention back to our boss as she was just beginning to conclude.
A clap later before our meeting dispersed, each person moving into different directions.
I yawned to the sky as another worker; a guy named Al from my high school days, moved by me and spoke out, ?What do you think of the proposal??
I just shrugged slightly, my usual, ?No complaints here?? moving my arms behind my head as I stretched a bit, my voice continued, ?So? Up for some Call of Duty tonight? Gonna be kickin? ass with Fer and Will.?
Al shook his head, ?Can?t tonight, work.?
?Yeah?? I laughed in compliance, ?Work? Well, later??
As he moved off to his cubicle, I scanned around the room again, a feeling that there was something I forgot. Then, I saw her again, the woman who had asked me about what the boss was saying. I nodded to myself as what I had forgotten moved back into memory, my step taking me to her as she was chatting with two of her friends.
?So?? I voiced to catch their attention as I crouched down a bit to the level of them sitting, ?About the meeting??
She nodded as I started to speak about what I remembered, stuff about this and that and about new proposals and functions with the new policy. Mostly what was talked about was minor stuff.
?? that?s about it?? I concluded as I straightened myself, stretching out once again from the strain of crouching.
I had to be some sort of nice guy. I guess it was a remnant of a high school attitude, even if I was such an ass back in those days. But after it all, it was alright. She smiled and nodded her gratitude.
Before I left, it hit me. I didn?t even know her name, and she knew mine. My brow rose slightly as a swear escaped my lips. That was quite callous of me, not knowing anyone else except a few guys from my sector of work and a few old friends. I shook my head, laughing to myself as I turned.
But then, she was gone. Maybe next time?

One night, I just had gone off from the phone. I swore under my breath as I sighed out to open air. It was always like this on the graveyard shift, only me and a few others I barely see. But the boss is awake all night, even when she is at home so messages must be sent to all departments even through the night.
Glad that this only involved one room, and just one person. Made me wonder why the boss didn?t call this person herself.
I shook my head as I took the final sip of my coffee before moving on the hallways. It was all quiet, it was always quiet. This time was not for the weak of heart, but I was man. Damn right I was a man. A little alone time didn?t really bring up anything in me. In truth it felt kinda nice for some reason, but work came first.

The door was closed; this one at least was, almost all the time, the accounting office, room 302.
Strange, the person?s name was familiar to me but the thought remained at the tip of my mind. I?m sure I never met her, maybe passively through the hallways, but the name stuck in my mind somewhere.
I?ll just go in, give the message, then out again. I stared at the door for a moment then down to the piece of paper that was in my hand, the message that was written about a change in schedule and of new funds that had entered.
Room 302, accounting room, I made certain to the door inscription. I was just about to knock upon the door, when a voice moved to me from behind.
?Excuse me?? She spoke, her voice booming upon my ears as it had been the first sound I heard in these hallways this evening.
I quickly turned around, trying to keep my balance on my quick step as I swore under my breath, my eyes upon her in the slightest of disbelief. It was her, from the meeting, a few days ago.
My voice blurted out in almost a squeak, ?No, I was just? I mean? Uh, well??
The slightest of curls moved upon the edge of her lips, her voice now just one of normal tone, ?Scared you??
?I?m? the? uh? messenger here?? I explained myself, blurting out words as my hand made wild gestures, ?Just? not sure if? but I have a message here? and this door is always closed? and I was wondering about the crack pots up here in accounting? and I was just to deliver this paper of the boss?s message and? I?m??
?Leon?? She continued as she took a step towards me, taking the piece of paper upon my hand and scanning it for a moment, moving it up to cover her face.
My brow rose again as I tilted my head to obtain a better glance of her, ?And you are??
I felt it again, in the back of my head. ?crackpots??? That was a terrible joke. Next time I?ll just shut my mouth for once.
?I am Elizabeth, the crackpot accountant.? She smiled as she moved the paper down a bit, obtaining a glance from me then moving it back up to read.
This? is? Elizabeth?
?I? uh?? I tried to speak but my tongue was all tongue ties, and my dry throat didn?t help, ?Sorry?? all that I could blurt out.
I felt weak. I was a man and it made me feel pathetic that I felt weak, damned masochism.
But, Elizabeth seemed friendly?
?It?s alright.? She nodded once again, moving the piece of paper down to her side, ?We do our jobs, right??
?Right?? it was all that I could whisper out?
I know I sound a little strange? Well, okay, I sound hella strange. I don?t like the situation.
?I?m going to work on the ?Mary Joanna account now.?? She nodded in another smile, moving past me towards the door, her voice trailing behind her, ?See you around??
She was nice to me. But perhaps it was because there weren?t a lot of people around at that hour so one tends to become lonely. Maybe it?s just that, she must have felt lonely.
Elizabeth closed the door as I remained there, a bit stunned, staring at a distance. Wait a sec; we had no client or company named ?Mary Joanna?.
?
Dang, I was so pathetic. That was a joke. I almost knocked on her door again. But then, what would I do? Open it and say, ?Haha, that was clever??
Loser? Lame?
Only a sigh escaped my lips, as I shook my head. What kind of person I turned out to be?
I should just get back.
Then I remembered the name. The dream! It all came back to me. She was the girl in my dream, the one who?
I shook my head off it, swearing to myself. I should just return to my work. Anyway, the clue of the name from my dream was ?L? or ?Li? and her name was? Liz?
It was the thought of my damned dream that I should forget. So many thoughts in my mind. I keep telling myself that it was only a dream, and yet another swear escapes my lips. This wasn?t helping.
Should I tell her?
How could I tell her when I see her again?
Was it even the truth of what will happen?
All these questions, it was no relief.
Seeing Elizabeth, could my dream be really..?

Two weeks have passed, and once again back to the graveyard shift. I was trying to make a tower of pencils and paper clips, tapping this side and that. Just upon its completion, I leaned back on my seat staring at the ceiling as the sound of the clock?s soft tick moved upon my ears. It was almost hypnotic as the minutes passed agonizingly slow. I tried to keep myself awake, but the more I tried, the more tired I became, and the more my eyes forced themselves to sleep.

It was red?
All red?
Nothing but red, and a figure?

She lay there?
Motionless?
All black and white?
Only the red accented her form?
It was all dark?
A canvass of black from red?

But the face, her face?
It was clear?
Her hair winded back?
The slightest freckle?
Just by her ear?
It was all too clear?

I swore upon the air as the realization dawned upon me, sweat trickling down my cheek once again, or was it a tear, I could never know. My breathing was ragged, a wrinkle upon my forehead as I swore once again under my breath.
My head tilted up, upon the sound of the ringing phone. I moved my arm up to wipe the drop off my cheek, picking up to receiver and setting it to my ear. Again, it was the boss, her voice muffled slightly with the cough and cold that she had had for this week. Then, even at that condition, she was still at work.
I shook my head as I nodded on her words, a series of ?Yes Ma?am?s and ?Uhuh?s moved through my lips and with a final, ?It?s none of my business but you should get some sleep now, Boss??
I shook my head as I took my jacket off from my chair, moving outside our little office then into the hallway, moving off once again on the empty walk.
I sort of automatically moved through, not even paying attention to most of the things. I had been here long enough to realize the paths and ways of this building, and nothing creepy had jumped off in the night, nothing that I have seen anyway. But, something else bothered me.
The dream, it was back again, stronger than the last time it came. Now that I knew her, I couldn?t just blow this away. I mean, once was just something out of mind, another one could mean something entirely different. As I passed upon her doorway, I stared at the numbers of her door, pausing upon my step. For some reason, I couldn?t get her off my mind.
I wanted to knock, to just talk to her, maybe to tell her about this crazy dream and just have a laugh about it, but it got too difficult. My hand remained in the air just close to the knob, frozen on its movement.
I still remember, I sometimes meet her in the hallways and meetings. We always greet each other, but for some reason, she always gets my attention first, just the slightest voice of my name, or a, ?Hey, look. It?s Leon.? She seemed really like that, but for some reason, maybe it was all in my mind, she was that smallest, tiniest, least bit warmer to me.
I often see her colleagues and even other guys trying to hit on her. She was friendly, truly friendly, but that was all.
I shook my head upon my thoughts as I returned my arm to my side, swearing once again under my breath. I really don?t know. A breath escaped my lips, almost like some sort of laugh.
In the evening, when I met her sometimes, on the rare occasion that it?s only me and her on the path, she acts so warm towards me, a smile that I could never forget. Maybe it was just me, I really don?t know but for some reason, she never has that cold look with me.
Is it because of the graveyard shift, of this night that we work? She must be tired. I don?t think so, thought. I mean, I still see her in the afternoon, and even then, I can still see that sort of warmth in her eyes.
I shake my head, pivoting slowly towards the stairway off at the end of the hallway. But then, I paused just after a step. My forehead furrowed in thought, licking dried lips in question as the thought almost dawned on me.

Elizabeth?
Liz?
? is nice to me?

I felt silent once again as I took a glance over on the folder upon my arms for some reason just to calm myself by looking at boring numbers and dividends. I understood half of them but I couldn?t get promoted until after this year-long probation. I shook my head and swore, but it was all to distract my thoughts of her, which in its entirety failed.
It returned in my mind, as forcibly as a wrecking ball against a dilapidated building. But it was who she was, right?
I think Liz is really a nice person.
A loud clap rang from behind me, forcing me to jump slightly from my stand; the folder falling to the ground, with luck the papers within didn?t scatter around.
I turned a half-swear escaping my breath as my furrowed brow said it all; yet, upon the sight of the one who had surprised me, my features softened slowly, my eyes stuck once again upon her.
I shook my head as a smile slowly crept upon my lips, ?God, Liz! You? shocked me??
It was her. She had just probably come up from the stairway. The time she leaves her office was just to get something to eat or to go to the bathroom.
?You always look so immersed in your thoughts.? She smiled as she crouched down with me to pick up to folder, ?I think you deliver these messages automatically while thinking of other things.?
Okay, was it really that obvious?
I tried to laugh, but it was a weak one, as I spoke once again, ?I confess, I was thinking about??
Elizabeth, I know, but?
?The ?Mary Joanna account??? She smiled as we straightened ourselves from our crouch, ?I noticed you didn?t get it the first time.?
Was it really that obvious? Maybe it was transparent, a bit too transparent, even plain to be seen.

I am just?
Helpless?
Around her?

?A somewhat? Slight of? Disposition?? I nodded in reply, trying to force out the slightest smile, knowing all too well that I looked goofy.
?? of the mind?? she almost couldn?t hold back a laugh as I shook my head, narrowing my eyes slightly in a sour expression.
She smiled at my pathetic reaction, shaking her head as she repeated it once again, ?A somewhat slight disposition of the mind??
?That?s not funny?? I voiced out in a somewhat sarcastic manner, ?I ain?t that kind of person??
The truth of the matter is, I don?t even know what the heck I was doing, or what the heck I will do. Liz was just really nice to me.
Maybe she even feels it?
We fell silent, eyes upon the distance of the far wall.
A gulp moved slowly down my throat, taking in a deep breath, and a sigh out, speaking under my breath, ?So? Where are you going now??
She shrugged, tilting her head back, ?I?m just? hungry.? She moved her eyes back towards me, ?I just left my wallet back in the office.?
?Ah? I see, alright?? I pointed up towards the stairway as a breath escaped her mouth, a little laugh, nodding to me.
Strangely enough, her eyes bore a strange expression, almost of slight disappointment as she quickly voiced just as I had set my foot on the first step of the stairs, ?Do you want? I mean, where are you going??
?Work?? I smiled slightly to her, almost a mask to hide my confusion of her disappointment, but still, I think I made it well as my voice continued, ?See you later??
She nodded and waved once again as we parted paths in the hallway.
A moment passed before I stood silent on my step once again, the thought hitting me, yet again, what did that gesture mean?

Does? Liz?
Like me?
What should?
I do?

I swore under my breath, kicking air as I shook my head off such a pathetic idea. I laughed myself out of the thought. Staring at the ceiling, it was probably all that I could do not to be in the brink of being obsessed by her. I laugh once again upon the thought, swearing again under my laughter.
My situation, it was complicated, maybe a bit too complicated. I cannot win in anyway.
My shoulders drooped slightly as I continued on the hallway with my work.

It was raining the other night; I was making another message delivery through the floors, until I reached the third floor.
Liz?s floor?

There was always this strange silence, only broken by my perhaps too loud steps. Other than that, only the soft hum of the air conditioning could be heard, and maybe that soft sound on the other room where Liz fingertips were upon the keyboard.
It also could be the rain. It had been pouring quite hard just upon the time that the sun had set, but now, it was time to go home.
I got soaking wet as I ran into my car. Too bad I couldn?t get promoted in this damned place, but, it was work. I couldn?t even get a decent parking space near the office entrance.
Anyway, I?m not really complaining.

I have her here?

I swore once again as I started the car, upon the thought that ran through my mind. I laughed to myself, shaking my head to nothing at all. But then again?

Why do I feel this way?

Elizabeth?
Liz?
The dream?
More of the nightmare?
I almost couldn?t just let it go?
Almost?

I always did my ?all around quick message delivery? from top to bottom of the building. To reiterate, I started from the fifth floor to the first floor, or dungeon as it was called. Then, I just changed and decided to go home, to when I got wet. And?
Sometimes I could talk to Liz for a few moments. She even turned, as if some sort of weird female spider sense or something like that, when I moved down the hallway.
She was my excuse for a few minutes break, just to catch my breath?
No? it wasn?t like that. I just felt it?

Elizabeth?

I really wanted to talk to her. Just for a few minutes; nothing serious, just to hear her voice.
To me, it felt amazingly wonderful, for some reason.
I made few friends in the office, not much to talk about, no one really who I would like to talk to; but these few minutes each time I had the chance. They helped me so much, perhaps a bit too much than I thought.
Come to think of it, we never talked about that, my damned nightmare?
As I shifted the gears of my car, I looked back at the building?s entrance, whispering softly, ?Take care? Liz??
I looked around at the different cars still parked around me, making me wonder what car she drove. Maybe the red convertible by mine, or probably that black, off-road model by the car park gates? She probably parked close to the entrance of the building, that blue mustang.
The cars reminded me, that it wasn?t just the two of us in the building; but somehow, I only met others through my knocking and ?invading? their offices. I didn?t meet anyone else in the halls, not at this hour.
I shook my head off the thought as I drove off, giving the guard a small salute as I moved off from the gates. The heavy drops continued to shatter on my wind shield, the wipers doing its job of clearing my view. If the rain got heavier, I would?ve been too afraid to drive. I shifted the wipers on its setting, to max speed.
I just want to get home?
I turned left on the crossing, towards the bus stop, and upon that bus stop, the rain poured even more, but another figure?
Is that...?
Liz..?

It all flashed through my head, almost forcing me to skid my car to a sort of slow movement. Liz, the bus stop, she didn?t drive a car. She is waiting.

Does her shift end the same time as mine do?
Why didn?t I notice her before?
Could it be that?
The bus didn?t come?

I?m moving pass the bus stop now, just thinking of what to do. Should I stop? And ask? Can I do it?
I furrowed my brow, damning myself, of course I could! I cannot just let her stand in the rain. I stopped my car by the bus stop, my fogged wind shield somewhat revealing her. It was not until I lowered the passenger side window until I truly saw her. Surprised, Liz caught my eyes.
?Need a ride?? I voiced to her as I moved my eyes up at the bus stop sign, ?If your bus is late or something??
?But?? She took in a breath, shifting her umbrella with the wind, ?I live? the opposite of where you live??
I shook my head as I pulled the lock of the door open, ?And you expect me to just let you stay under the rain??
She shook her head, her voice once gain moving through, eased right now, ?Thank you. My bus, it just? ran off.?
She moved into my car, and only then did I notice, her jacket was wet.
I started to move upon the roads once again, voicing to her, ?You can put your coat in the back seat? It?s not really a good feeling to sit on wet clothes??
She nodded and in an almost voiceless tone, she spoke, ?Thank you?? before placing her jacket on the back seat.
I turned on the heated air conditioner, her hair and face shining slightly with water, though her breath now was calm.
We drove for a while, and only now did I realize that I was glad for the weather. Because of it, we had to drive really slowly, but it was good. All the time we drove off, we spoke to each other, most of the time it would be me, about some crazy thing we were doing just last week or something like that, she would just smile and laugh a bit, and then she would speak as well.
Through the rains, it felt all the more good to have her. I pointed to the fogging glass of the windshield then to the heater as she nodded, almost dry and slightly stringy hair moving behind her ear with one hand that she raised. She sighed as my eyes took sight of it, the slightest of freckles just by her ear. I blinked as my mouth moved to a slight open, my hand flicking the heater off and moving the cool air conditioner to low.
Her head tilted to me, the slightest of smiles as she spoke, ?The road??
My eyes widened slightly in surprise as I returned my eyes to the road, breathing out a sigh.
We talked once again about stuff, nothing really important, just different things. But strangely enough, for me at least, her mere presence was calming.
We talked all the way to her apartment, pulling off of the road to the mid intersection then another left until we were at the entrance. I stopped the car, and then looked upon her, my lips parting but no words came out.
What should I say?
?Thank you?? She smiled, the first time I realized.
Before I wanted to be with her because of our talks, because she was extremely nice, and even extremely didn?t do her justice.
Her smile, Elizabeth?s smile? She was beautiful?
I wanted to hit myself then and there. Where the, I apologize, fuck was I looking all this time?!
?I?? I blathered out, my breath held as I tried to find the words, the only thing that came out was, ?You? Don?t forget your coat??
I handed her coat back as she nodded her thanks, voicing in a slight wave, ?Bye??
?Take care?? I whispered as she closed the door.
I turn around on the driveway. Now it seemed, the car felt empty. I wanted to turn on the radio, but I can?t. I still wanted her voice to be the last thing I would hear. I wanted her voice to run around in my mind just for a few moments.

This feeling?

I watched the traffic lights?
It was red?

Only now did I realize, Liz, I?

It came to the point that it was no longer unusual for me to drive Liz home. Since we had found out that our shifts ended at the same time, I sometimes took her when the weather was bad.
For some strange reason, being with her, it was always a nice time. Each time we would talk, I felt at ease. Her voice was comforting to say the least but just being with her, it was almost intoxicating, like smoking a pack of cigarettes, if I hadn?t just quit from the habit the past year, or getting high on cocaine, which I never really attempted to do. But this, it made my adrenaline pump overtime; I thought that I had to control myself from blathering on and on. Even on times that we didn?t talk, just driving her home, they felt? special to me.
And the relationship between me and Liz?
We were friends; I think that was just about it. We greeted each other, and we talked, not that much, just probably idle conversation. It has been more or less a month now, and the day my dream foretold was coming near. And what seemed so simple to me just got extremely frightening.
For that point in time, I started to feel uneasy when I was around Elizabeth.
Was it really true that this amazing being was to be killed in a traffic accident?
The thoughts began to haunt me. I knew of this, thusly, it was my initiative to save her. I wanted to; I couldn?t bear to see her die; I will not let her die.

But?
What if?
I fail?

The Friday was another day, but it felt all the while different; another run through the building, another message, another chance. But the uneasiness settled on the pit of my stomach.
Slowly, it hit me on the back of my head, if it were to happen, then I would only have a short time to be with her. My brow furrowed as I swore to myself repeatedly, my fist moved to punch cement, but I felt nothing.
I took in a breath just upon the final step, to the third floor, her floor. My message was for the higher floors so in this one, I just wanted to have a talk with her. I?ve already fixed all my stuff so after this; it?ll just be an elevator ride to the car park.
There, I saw her, moving off down the hallway. I wanted to run to her but, well, with my huskinesque form, I would make too much noise, but granted that I did have the chance to catch up with her, out paths being the same, towards the elevator.
Upon reaching her, she continued to look forward, not even seeing me. I took in a breath and just casually stated a simple ?Hello??
She tilted her head, her eyes widening slightly as her lips parted, her steps paused as it moved me to stop as well, almost tripping on myself. A moment passed before we continued once again upon the path, just after her nod and almost silent ?Hi??
I wasn?t really sure at this point. Usually, she was the open one; she always would greet me each time I wasn?t really looking around myself. Now, it was me. I didn?t even know what the heck I was doing.

It just?
Happened?

I wanted her to know it, to feel it, that I will help her each and every time she needed it. But she was independent, most of the time. I wanted to help her with this and that, I mean we did graduate the same course, but still, she was doing her work well and wasn?t really asking for any help so I found it rude were I to impose on her. I just couldn?t move myself to tell her.
But then, I would say it. Maybe it was just that I didn?t want to lose her, or the fact that I was overstressed, underpaid and these dreams, or nightmares, of her are so damned frustrating.
But then again, I looked at her, and she was still the same; nothing really strange, nothing out of the ordinary. She was still that same person. I wanted to hit myself again. For the past four or so months that I have worked here, I only recently realized how?

Beautiful?
She?
Is?

But at this moment, I reacted from fear. Choose any from the above stated, it all led down to her.
Before I knew it, she was waiting for me to get into the elevator, holding the door open. A half-swear escaped my lips as I jumped, albeit pathetically, into the elevator.
I couldn?t forget it, as she brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, I saw it again, the slightest freckle just by her ear. It made me remember about everything. To why only now did I realize to how insanely amazing she was. To the time where I felt the slightest, even tiniest, smallest bit that maybe, just maybe, she liked me. I felt that all this time that we talked, all this time we were together, each laugh and story that was told, made me feel better, made me feel as if I could go on another day, made me feel that?

I?
Really?
Liked her?

More than once, I felt it. Upon the sight of her eyes, and I could see it upon her gaze. Each time I would move my eyes to her direction, it was almost like she was looking at me and at that moment I had just caught a glimpse of what all people pathetically call to every ethereal being that seemed to roam this land, a goddess. That was pathetic, I know. The fact that only I knew I said it was the consolation.
In her mood, in her smile. It made me feel that I really liked being with her, even just for a minute, even just for half a minute. Just ten seconds was enough.
I breathed out a sigh as she looked at me, my head tilting as well to look at her, and there it was again. Her slightest smile as she just simply nodded, the ring of the elevator bell echoing into the room, signaling our floor. We moved off into the open, taking in a breath as my eyes moved down at the shoe lace of mine that was untied.
I crouched down to tie it, and as I looked up, I saw her, standing, waiting. I finished quickly, I didn?t want to bother her anymore. As we moved towards the exit, it had been a habit of mine to walk here to the bus when the weather was bad, but on this time, she shifted her path to my car.
?I think it?s going to rain?? She whispered half to herself.
I nodded in reply, ?I think it will??
She moved to the passenger?s side of the car as I seated myself to the driver?s seat. I turned on the car, and it was the same scene. We were once again talking about this and that, random stuff that we saw on the road, and things of no real importance, family, life, the usual.
As we reached her apartment, she had just began to move off from the car when I voiced out, ?Liz??
She crouched a bit before closing the car tilting her head as I spoke, ?Are you? doing anything? next week??
She bit her lip for a moment, a long moment that was agonizingly slow, all that I could hear was the sound of the air, and it wasn?t really moving at that time.
She nodded, ?Yes? I?m sorry??
I quickly breathed out a laugh, a pathetic laugh as I shook my head, ?No? I mean, do you have five minutes after work? just to? talk??
She smiled once again, nodding slowly, ?Of course??
I sighed out slightly in a relief, her hand waving slowly in farewell, as was her silent, ?Bye??
I thought it would be just that, until her voice trailed on, ?Take care? and thank you??
I could only tilt my head back to her, and smile, and once again, I knew I looked like some damned idiot.

The next week came, about a week until to when my dream was going to occur. And the day came that I would talk with her.
She was walking off towards the bathroom just upon me reaching her floor. I didn?t really think she saw me as she moved into the bathroom. I waited outside, it would be weird, not to mention perverted, which I really am, but never to her, if I entered the bathroom. I remained silent outside, women always took a long time to themselves in their own private room, and she was not really swaying on the other side of this presumption.
But for some reason, she was a bit quicker, or it was all in my mind.
She smiled to me as she leaned by the door, tilting her head to me.
I took in a breath and a gulp as I voiced, ?Hello??
Her smile widened slightly as she nodded, ?Hi??
I licked dry lips as I started to speak, ?Stressed??
She nodded, and a slightly muffled ?uhuh? from a closed lip reply moved on her throat.
?Weekend..!? I continued, moving my fears to the side, ?Another time to get drunk and wasted!?
She smiled nervously, almost a laugh that rumbled upon her throat, nodding slowly to agree yet to disagree in a manner and demeanor of her shift, ?I? don?t really? drink? and I don?t really smoke too??
I raised my brow, my head tilting towards her, a voice of confusion, ?What brought that up??
She fiddled for a few moments with her fingers just upon the beginning of my step, the rains echoing upon the now empty hallways, as if her nervous demeanor was to say that I might hit her with what she is about to say. A short silent laugh ran across my throat, my form shifting slightly with the shake of my head upon my hand?s touch of her shoulder.
She smiled softly, nervously, her voice softer that usual, ?It?s just that? you smell like cigarettes everyday??
I didn?t really know what she was trying to say, but I realized that feeling so nervous around her was all in my mind. I let it all go, relieving myself of the burden of nervousness, just simply speaking out, just to make her smile; shouldn?t that be what should be done?
Her hand moved upon my arm just as I released her shoulder, whispering under the rains, ?What was it? that you wanted to say..??
The slightest of crimson moved upon her cheeks, her eyes cast down upon the floors, trailing the lines of tiles of the hallway, taking in a deep breath almost in a way to brace herself.
I remained silent for a moment, in thought as it would seem, my eyes remaining upon her face, a timid expression and for the first moment in all this time, I knew.
?Now wouldn?t be the time?? I whispered in reply, my hand moving upon hers, a gentle pat against her light skin, ?It can wait??
Her lips parted slightly, in thought as well, a pause in a way that the world stopped and they were there on the hallway for the shortest moment of eternity. Her expression slowly changed to a small smile, nodding upon his words as the world around them moved to its normal pace. I released her hand, raising a hand slightly in farewell.
As I turned to return back to the offices, her voice echoed slightly upon the hallway, a voice too shy and a whisper too silent, though the gist was evident to him if he wasn?t as ill-observant in such things, a voice that whispered, ?I like??
I paused upon my steps, the last echo of the slow movements, one that didn?t want to leave but simply for the sake of acting out cool, had to.
I turned my form towards her, halfway across, my head tilted towards her direction, voicing simply, ?Eh??
?I?? her eyes widened slightly upon my movement, pausing upon her words, choking slightly with the pressure, her voice though shifting upon her words, closing her eyes half-way, ?I like? The Ring??
My brow furrowed slightly with a confused smile, slowly moving to a silent laugh, turning completely towards her, ?You like horror movies..??
She breathed out a heavy sigh, her shoulders shifting with her movement, slowly moving her head with a nod. She smiled slightly, giving another small nod, a semblance of a bow, though not voiced, of her goodbye.
I heard her steps growing more and more silent as we moved off in different directions, though I knew this sound was only in my mind. The mere fact of the matter is that she moved in a way too slow, and as I had realized of reality, I paused with my steps, counting her soft steps that still created taps across the hall, even through the now heavy rains, the called winds adding to this moment, his fist clenching, speaking to himself in words only he were to know.
He voiced a bit loudly while their backs were turned, his eyes moving upon his clenched fist, a tone that rang through the walls, ?The Ring Zero is playing at the North Gate Theater this weekend??
Her steps had paused, the hall now as silent as the rains and the winds could allow it, a chill and a warmth that made its way around the both of them, his voice once again in a tone that is half-nervous yet determined still, ?Al said it was too much of a love story? but the other series would make more sense after watching it??
She didn?t speak a word, the both of them not even turning to meet each other, though she nodded to herself, and he continued, in a way they did see each other and even across that distance, they felt it, ?Do you want to go out Sunday and see it??
A gasp moved her breath, eyes widened slightly, breath holding upon both their sides as the tension moved higher between them, such a silence that the ticking of her wristwatch clicked with a sound that could be heard from miles away, much more between the two of them.
?Yes?? Her voice was almost too excited and half out-of-breath, ?Please pick me up? at nine??
He voiced a grunt of affirmation, tilting back slightly with a slow smile; she as well moved her head back slightly, her form following to accommodate the movement of her eyes, her expression, of her smile.

The week ended quickly, and before I knew it, I was out in the main roads with Liz, moving through the main road of North Gate Street, just below the dark grey bridge that acted as its entrance, thus its name. The sun was high upon the skies, beaming across the city, the shades of light encompassing them both, pausing its warmth for a moment upon them just as they had reached the under bridge.
They moved slowly across the street, the quarter step across them moving slowly closer, inching together agonizingly slow, though their voices suggested of a closer bond, her soft laugher a crescendo, the background of a morning that had come to both of them.
Just as they rounded the corner, pausing upon a crossing, she took a step upon the pedestrian walk way, though he quickly stopped her, pulling her back upon the sidewalk, his eyes upon her just upon her slightly annoyed expression.
A gentle smile played across his expression, his eyes tilting slightly to the traffic lights then back upon hers, remaining upon her eyes for a moment, trailing the expression similar to a child not having her way, whispering under her breath, ?Saint??
I almost laughed, but a speeding car stopped my expression, running wild across the road, form glinting with its dark blue paint, almost black, and disregard to the road ahead of it. It screeched out to the end of the road, moving out of sight.
She breathed out a soft sigh, her arm wrapping around his, almost in apology and thanks with her whisper, ?That was close??
My lips parted slightly, a surprised expression written all over my face, realizing the occurrence of a dream, the very same nightmare that had haunted me, and I wondered to myself.

Was it?
Really?
Over...?

With arms clasped together, we moved across the road, my expression dissipating too slowly, her voice and breath evident of a nervous feeling upon her chest, holding on a bit tighter to him.
Her voice, as if to change the topic or to return everything to their laughter, speaking to him, her head tilting up to gaze upon his eyes, reflections of the sun making them glint slightly with warmth, ?I was offered another job last week? Today should?ve been my interview??
?You didn?t take it..?? I shook off the surprised expression, trying to calm my voice and return it to a tone of comfort.
She shook her head against me, biting her lips for a moment before she continued in reply to his words, ?I? have too much going on right now??
With those final words, her embrace around my arm tightened all the more, with the sun once again encompassing our forms, the gentle light moving over us with the end of the shadow of the bridge, and for a moment, the shortest moment of eternity, as the world all around us stopped, and we were together.

[angel222]

owwww, that was great...so sweet

[teardropdangel]

You have such a unique way of writing Iesu. It's refreshing.