GWCommentary:Ep.2-God of Death and the Fencing Foil of Doom!

[Ard Rhys]

**notice**I moved this from Silly Shorts, so more people would read this. Please excuse my twisted sense of humor.
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Disclaimers: I said it once, I'll say it again: I like these characters, but I must get my jollies be tormenting their poor worthless souls.MUAHAHAHA! Anyway, I don't own anything 'xept my own sick and twisted thoughts. Enjoy, and COMMENT!!!
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Narration: Generations ago, with a great dream for the future, humankind departed from planet earth, seeking a life on space colonies. But as time went by, the World Federation brought the colonies under its control, one after another using its overwhelming military power in the name of peace and justice. After Colony, Year 195. The beginning of Operation Meteor. It was a secret operation by a few colonies which tried to stand against the Federation. The operation was to secretly smuggle specially camouflaged combat weapons onto the earth. However, the operation had been detected by Federation leaders.
Michiru: yada, yada, yada
Asuka: blah, blah, blah,
Lil Washu: How many episodes until this stops?
Asuka: It will never stop!**evil laugh**
Michiru:**glares** In like two or three more episodes
Lil Washu:**Eyes grow huge**The horror!
Relena: It's cruel...
Asuka: Pretty much.
Heero: I will kill you
Michiru: No you won't
Lil Washu: Chicken-Wuss.
Asuka:**glares**No Zell references at Heero(glomps on to Heero's leg, everyone sweatdrops).


The Gundam called death
Michiru:**eyes shimmer dramatically**This is the one with sexy, sexy Duo!!
Asuka: Ok who gave her sugar?
Lil Washu: (as Figgy)**sheepishly**sowie
Asuka:**glare**Don't do it again.


aka~The God of Death and the Fencing Foil of Doom


(Fencing hall in school)
Lil Washu:(as Dorothy) can I play?
ALL: NO!
Asuka: Freaky eyebrow girl!
Michiru:**holding sledgehammer of smiting power** Die thoust with freaky fencing foil fetish**beats girl with sledgehammer**
ALL:**sigh**
Asuka: Much better
Classmate of Relena: I heard all about it, Heero-kun. Tearing up Relena-san's invitation in front of her eyes? Why did you do such a cruel thing? As a classmate of hers, I disapprove of what you did to her. Don't you think that was shameful?
Michiru:(as Heero) No. Not really
Asuka:(as Heero) It was kinda fun.
Heero: [disarms the clasmate with his foil] Next time, tell me ahead of time. I'll decline your invitation instead.
Relena's friend 1: Is that Heero-kun?
Michiru: No it's the Easter Bunny
Asuka: I didn't know the Easter Bunny was hot.
Lil Washu: Almost makes one want to commit Bestiality
ALL:**strare**sweatdrop**
Asuka:**glare**
Michiru:**holds Sledgehammer of Smiting Power**
Lil Washu: Nevermind...
Relena's friend 2: Yes that's him.
Relena's friend 3:He's pretty good, huh? He doesn't look like it though.
Asuka: Good at what?!?
Michiru: Relena's friends are sluts.
Lil Washu: Seriously

(Naval base)
Commander: What are they doing? This aircraft carrier is not designed to carry Mobile Suits. It takes time to unload them all. Just throw them into the water as quickly as possible -- all of them.
Soldier: Commander, there is a call from Lt. Zechs of the Special Unit.
Asuka:(as Commander): It's about time...he didn't call after the other night
Commander: What does Treize's boy want?
Asuka: OUCH! He's Trieze's bitch!
Michiru:**shudders**yaoi
Asuka: I hate those 6x9 fics
Michiru: Have you actually read any?
Asuka: No...IT'S GROSS!!
Zechs: [on viewscreen] It seems you're having some difficulties with the off-loading.
Commander: That's none of your business
Lil Washu:(as Commander) Why didn't you call, bitch?.
Zechs: I know this is none of my business. I'm just afraid, for your sake, that if you waste too much time here, it'll affect your next evaluation.
Commander: Don't threaten me!
Asuka:(as Butthead) Don't threaten my bunghole!
Michiru: Asuka?
Asuka: Yeah?
Michiru: Don't
Zechs: To tell you the truth, we are also having some trouble down here. Our new undersea carrier has some engine trouble.
Asuka: Have you noticed how many of Zech's line's can be taken in totally the wrong way?
(Switch of location to: Zechs' ship)
Commander: I told them not to waste money on that piece of crap.
Lil Washu: (as commander) Atari sucks!
Zechs: As a favour, can we repair our ship on your deck?
Commander: [on viewscreen] On top of my aircraft carrier?
Asuka: So that's what he calls it.
Zechs: Yes. In return, we will let you use our state-of-the-art undersea Mobile Suits, Pisces and Cancer.
Commander: I see. You're trying to bribe me, for not telling the higher-ups about your engine trouble, aren't you?
Zechs: So what do you say?
Commander: Deal. Come aboard!
Michiru: Wow! That was sooo wrong!
Zechs: Okay.
Soldier 1: Lt. Zechs, what engine trouble are you talking about?
Lil Washu: (as Zechs)**unzips pants** come here and I'll show you.
Zechs: All it takes is a humble offer to get him to cooperate with us seriously. We'll take the treasure.


(Relena's class are studying dressage)
Teacher: Everyone? Are you all here? Okay, then let's start. We are going to study how to 'Piroette' today.
Girl 1: Where's Heero-kun?
Girl 2: Why do you care?
Girl 3: At least he doesn't need equestrian lessons anymore.


(Computer room in school)
Heero: [brings up secret military data] This will do it. Anti-undersea-carrier torpedo... Radio control. Heat seeking systems... The Naval Arsenal...It's nearby... Now, to take care of my records... [puts a disk in the computer and starts typing]
Michiru: Heat seeking missiles? They are just throwing the phallic references at us!
Heero: Heero Yuy -- Tuition: cleared. Boarding expenses: cleared. Admission fees: cleared. Parents' financial background: no problem.
Lil Washu: I wish I could do that!
Michiru: What?
Lil Washu: Hack into my school and get all fees cleared

(Relena in her baby pink car)
ALL:**singing**I'm a barbie girl...
Friend 1: So, Relena-sama, we'll see you at your house in a few hours. Relena-sama?
Friend 2: Relena-sama, what's wrong?
Asuka: (as Relena) the little stick has a plus sign on it...
Michiru: (as Relena) Damn that Heero!
Friend 3: It's your birthday, you should be happy.
Michiru:(as Relena)**singing**it's my party and I'll cry if I want to...
Friend 1: Cheer up, Relena-sama.
Relena: [smiles] Thankyou, everyone.
Asuka: Did you ever notice what a fake smile Relena has?
Michiru: That can only mean one thing!
ALL: Relena is a born politician!

[Heero is sneaking into the naval base under a car]

Relena: [thinking, as the car takes her home] A boy with secrets...
Asuka:(as Relena)I wonder if he's had a sex change...that'd explain a lot...

[Heero breaks open a door]

Relena: With so many secrets...
Lil Washu:(as Relena) With such a big...
Michiru:**whacks Relena with sosp**
Lil Washu:(as Relena) What? I was going to say gun.

[Heero found the missiles]
Michiru: Wow! That's one for the Heero is gay camp
Asuka:**evil glare**
Michiru: What? I was just pointing it out!

Relena: [whispering] And I know too much...?

[Heero modifies the missiles]

Relena: That's why... I'm going to be killed?!
Pargan: [laughs] A new suspense novel, Miss?
Asuka: More like a new Romance novel

(at the naval base)
Heero: If some of these hit the Gundam directly, that'll trigger the self-destruction system. I have to destroy it before it falls into the OZ's hands. I have to do it.
ALL:**singing**My, my there's this Japanese boy...
(underwater vessle)
Soldier 1: Lt. Zechs, we've got a metallic response at 180,000 ft. below the surface.
Zechs: Alright then. Launch Cancer and Pisces.
Soldier 1: Sir, please let me go.
Asuka:(as Zechs) You have no importance to the plot. Therefore you will die!
Zechs: Are you sure? Underwater is even tougher than up in space.
Soldier 1: I understand. But I'd like to do this by myself.
Zechs: Alright. Good luck.

[The cancer and pisces are launced]

Soldier 1: After Pisces. Cancer will be launched. I will be in charge.
Soldier 2: Roger!
Soldier 3: Lt. Zechs, it's the Marine's Mobile Suits.
Zechs: That damn Commander! Did he read my mind? An explosion?
Asuka: No, you just told him last night in bed.
Soldier 3: The Mobile Suits behind us are being destroyed one after another!
Zechs: Stop the ship. I want to know what's going on.
Soldier 3: What about Pisces and Cancer?
Zechs: We'll let them go on ahead. What is happening?

[A pisces is cut in half by Deathscythe]

Soldier 1: Enemy attack! An unidentified enemy has... [explodes]

Michiru:DDDDUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
(Surface vessle)
Soldier 1: We lost contact with all the Mobile Suits!
Commander: Drop all the depth charges into the area!
Soldier 2: But Lt. Zechs' undersea carrier is also down there.
Commander: I don't care! That weasel might be the one responsible for this mess! FIRE!!

[numerous underwater missiles are launced]

(on Zechs' underwater vessle)
Soldier 3: The fleet opened fire!
Zechs: What is he doing?
Lil Washu: You don't wanna know!
Soldier 1: [on viewscreen] I hear explosions. What is going on?
Zechs: Be careful, the enemy seems to be in the area.
Soldier 1: You mean... that Gundam is still functional?
Zechs: I don't think so. But watch for it.
Asuka: Of course it is! You fool! Gundams are indestructable!
Soldier 1: Yes, sir.


(surface vessle)
Commander: How was that? Nothing could have survived that massive attack. [explosion] What the...? [ship is cut in half]

[Deathscythe lands on the ship]
Duo: [chops things up] Die... Anyone who sees me must die.

Michiru:**eyes glittering**I'll turn out the lights then, my love!
Asuka: She's going to be useless the rest of the episode
Lil Washu: Or at least any scenes with Duo.
(Relena's party)
Relena: Thank you all for coming to my party today. I am very happy to see you all
Asuka:(as Relena) NOT!.
Friends: Relena-sama, happy birthday. Happy Birthday!
Relena: Everyone, thank you.
Mrs. Darlian: Dear, do you really have to leave now? Can't you stay just a bit longer for Relena?
Relena: Father...
Mr. Darlian: Relena... I'm sorry, Relena.
Relena: Don't be, Father. I understand. I'm not a child anymore. Take care
Michiru: Have you ever wondered what it'd be like for Heero and Relena's kids with Relena having her fathers job?
Asuka:**eyes glint**FANFIC IDEA!
Michiru: Dear God no!
Lil Washu:(as Duo) You rang?
Michiru:**turns into puddle**.

[Mr. Darlian drops some pictures of meteorites]

Relena: Those pictures...
Radio voice: Next: According to a Defence Department spokesman, the five meteors expected to hit the earth have apparently all burned up during entry to the atmosphere. Also the conspiracy theory regarding the colony alliance turned out to be just a false rumour.
Relena: A bunch of lies... I know Heero was in that falling object. But then, could Heero be a 'Little Prince' who fell to earth?
Asuka:**snickering**aww...lookie at the little prince!
Michiru:(as Heero)Omae O Korosu!


(on the Bayside highway)
Relena's classmate: [on a motorbike] Damn! I'm late for Relena-sama's party. [nearly gets run over by Heero in an ambulance] Was that Heero? It couldn't be...
Heero: The OZ is already on the way. Can I make it?


Commercial break

(Circus)
Ringmaster: What? You wanna join us? You've got any experience? [Trowa gives him a paper] This doesn't tell me anything.
Asuka:(as Robo-Trowa) I AM MODEL X18999 TRITON
Trowa: [holds out his hand to the lion] Hello.
Ringmaster: How did you do that?
Trowa: [pets lion] They never attack anyone who's not a threat. Animals are very straightforward.
Cathrine: A strange boy...
Michiru: You don't know the half of it, sister!


(Tents in a desert)
Butler: Quatre-sama, I brought you something to drink.
Quatre: Thank you. Put it over there, please.
Butler: How do you like Earth so far?
Quatre: Wonderful. Great. It's really great. The earth... It's so beautiful...
Asuka:(as Quatre) **eyes dilate**pretty butterfly..

(Outside a truck)
Asuka: Here we find Wufei doing a drug deal.
Michiru: Prozac?
Asuka: Explosives
MIchiru: Damn.
Wufei: [hands over briefcase with money] Thank you.
Man 1: Where do you want me to unload the stuff?
Man 2: Here's good.
Man 1: Right here? Are you sure you want to leave such an enormous amount of explosives with a boy that age here?
Man 2: Don't ask any questions. We've got our money. [salutes Wufei] Good luck.
Wufei: Sorry for your trouble.


(At Relena's party)
Friends: Relena-sama, blow it out. Go ahead, Relena-sama. Blow out the candles.
Relena: Oh, that's right.
Asuka: Make a wish Relena.
Michiru:(as Relena) I want Heero naked with my own personal leash!
Relena's classmate: Ah, I guess I made the main event just in time. Happy birthday, Relena.
Relena: Thank you.
Relena's classmate: So, Heero is not here, after all? Maybe that really was him, then...
Relena: You saw Heero?
Asuka:(as Classmate) Yeah, he was coming out of a Motel 6, and....
Michiru:**holds sledgehammer**Enough with the yaoi!
Asuka: But it's funny! I'm only teasing! and making those yaoi sickos happy!
Relena's classmate: Yeah, on the Bayside Highway. But, listen to this -- he was driving an ambulance! It couldn't be him.
Relena: [thinking] An ambulance...? It must be him!
Relena: Which way was the ambulance heading?
Relena's classmate: I guess it was heading towards the military port..
ALL: of course!.
Friend: [Relena leaves in a hurry] Relena-sama, where are you going?
Relena: You all enjoy the party. I'll be back later.
Relena's classmate: If you're going to the port, I'll give you a ride.
Friends: we're coming with you, too.
Relena: NO! I'm going alone. Now, if you'll excuse me...
Mrs. Darlian: Hold it, Relena! What is wrong with her? She never explodes like that...
Relena: [thinking] Heero... What are you planning? Who are you going to kill?
ALL:YOU!

(Underwater vessles)
Soldier 1: That's Leo. But the Gundam... Where is the Gundam? It's strange. There's no other metallic responses.
Soldier 2: I found it! I can see it over here!
Soldier 1: Great! Let's report it to Lt. Zechs.
Zechs: Is that so? You've found it.
Soldier 1: But I'm surprised. It's not damaged at all.
Zechs: Our enemy has created some incredible monsters... But now we can capture one of these monsters and learn all about it. Watch out for the currents. We'll stay right here.
Soldier 1: Okay. Ready the wires and floats.
Soldier 2: Roger.
Soldier 1: Wh-what is that? A self-destruct system?! [somthing floats down from above, and blinds everyone nearby with its light] What?

[Deathscythe emerges on the scene]

Soldier 1: What is that light?
Michiru:(as Duo) Your eminent death...
Soldier 2: Enemy attack! Enemy attack! [explodes]
Soldier 1: It can't be! No thermal blade weapon can be used in water! Damn you! [attacks Deathscythe, which goes down] I did it! I did it, Lt. Zechs! [explodes as Deathscytereturns the attack]
Duo: [rubbing his head] Damn! That's the OZ's latest machine?! Pretty good... [sees wing] There's yet another new design? Self-destruct system? That machine looks just like mine! Even its self-destruct system is located in the same place. [neutralises it] I guess I don't have to destroy this one. It can be my backup machine.
Asuka:**looks at Michiru**yup...she's gonna be useless...
Lil Washu:**nods head in agreement**

(At the naval base)
[explsions detonate at the base]
Soldier 1: Evacuate! Take the wounded to the hospital! Ambulance! What are you doing? Hurry up! Hey, where's the driver?

Relena: Heero! I know it is you, Heero. Don't do it, Heero.
Lil Washu:(as Heero) **holds up hands** I didn't do it the one-armed man did!

[is about to launch the missiles, ignores Relena]

Relena: Heero, what are you doing here? And who are you? Those are torpedoes, aren't they? I just want to know more about you. Talk to me, Heero!
Heero: Relena...
Asuka: They're starting this shit this early?!?
Michiru:**sweatdrops**
Relena: Heero...
Heero: [points a gun at Relena] You know too much! Goodbye, Relena!
Lil Washu: You sure do underestimate the girl.
Asuka:**whack**Leave 'Lena alone!
Lil Washu: What? I don't like her in the beginning of the series. The girl smokes dope!

[Suddenly, and out of nowhere, someone else appears, and shoots Heero]

Relena: Heero!
Heero: [glares at the intruder] Who?!
ALL: DDDUUUUUOOOOOOO!!!!
Michiru:**turns into puddly**
Duo: [points his gun at Heero] Obviously you are the bad guy here, aren't you? Are you alright, Miss?
Relena: [rushes over to help Heero] Are you alright, Heero?

[Heero lunges for his gun, and Duo shoots him again]

Duo: Don't hurt yourself any further.
Lil Washu: And shooting him will help?
Asuka: I have to seriously question Duo's logic.
Relena: That's enough. Why did you have to hurt him?
Duo: Hey, wait a second. Damn, I'm the bad guy now...?
ALL:**giggle uncontrollably**
[Relena bandages Heero up]

Duo: [alarm clock goes off] Oops, already here? I may have miscalculated the high tide...
Relena: [spots the Gundam] What is that...?
Asuka: The tin man?
LIl Washu: The Easter Bunny?
Michiru:**drool**
Duo: [pulls out another one of those blinding light things] I can't let you see it. Miss, I don't know what's going on here, but you'd better go home now. It's for your own sake.

[Heero lunges for the missiles]
Asuka: Tsk, tsk, tsk, boys and their toys...
Lil Washu: Such...
Asuka: Obsessiveness?
Lil Washu: uh-huh.
Duo: Hey, back off! [shoots at Heero again]
Heero: That's my Mobile Suit! [launches the missiles]
Duo: What are you doing, bastard?! [shoots at Heero again]
Heero: This is... the end... Mission complete. [plunges into the water, seemingly dead]
Duo: [the missiles hit Deathscythe and Wing] He knows about the Gundam's self-destruct system. Is he the pilot of that Mobile Suit?
Relena: Who are these people?
Asuka: Do you really want to know?


(Underwater vessle)
Soldier: Lt. Zechs, we can't restore communications with either Cancer or Pisces.
Zechs: I see. No one who sees a Gundam ever gets away alive... I will not accept that.

To be continued

[TidusLover]

The excitement is tooooooooooo much!

[Ard Rhys]

Wow. Didn't know anyone wanted me to continue. Thanks I put out the next chapter in a few hours.

[TidusLover]

Please keep writing your stories! Even if just me reads them! Theyre sooooooooooo good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!