Who's Gundam is it Anyway? (2)

[Caliborn]

<Center><BIG><BIG><U>Who's Line is it Anyway?</U></BIG></BIG></Center>

Zechs: Next, we have a game called "Mission Implausible." Two of our players shall be sent off on a strange mission, given to them by a third player, the voice on tape. They will have to complete it before time runs out. Of course, our two players will be Heero and Wu--

Noin: *Clears her throat rather loudly* Duo and Hilde.

Zechs: . . . What?

Noin: *Conceals a smile.* Trust me.

Heero and Wufei: *Look utterly offended, along which a touch of confusion.*

Hilde: *Looks rather startled, but after a moment stands and goes to center-stage.*

Duo: *Blinks, then grins; standing up and puffing out his chest a bit as he steps down to join Hilde . . . where he promptly trips over his own feet, barely managing not to fall on his face and lose ALL dignity.*

Zechs: . . .Right. *Blinks at Noin incredulously.* . . . In any case, Trowa shall play the voice on tape, giving the mission.

Trowa: *Walks forward, taking a microphone from Noin. He sits at the side.*

Zechs: You may begin when we ring the buzzer.

*BUZZ . . .*

Duo: *Wraps his arms around Hilde from behind.* How about we . . .

Hilde: *Cuts him off, wiggling out of his hold.* We have a mission, hot-lips. *Giggles*

Zech: . . . I'm going to try and erase that nickname from my memory. *Nods, pauses, and looks at Noin.*

Noin: *Blinks innocently.*

Zechs: *After a long pause* . . . Anytime now, Trowa.

Duo: *Pouts, pressing the play button on the imaginary tape player.*

Trowa: . . .

Hilde: Er, turn up the volume?

Duo: *Complies.*

Trowa: . . .

Zech: *Head bangs helplessly onto the desk, the sound magnified by the microphone.*

Noin: *Clears her throat.* Uh . . . Correction. -Quatre- shall play the voice on tape.

Trowa: *Stands, offering the microphone to Quatre.*

Quatre: *Takes it, smiling.* Thank you!

Noin: NOW you may begin.

*BUZZ . . .*

Duo: Looks like we've got another mission, Babe. *Presses the PLAY button again.*

Hilde; *Giggles again.*

Quatre: Agent Maxwell, Agent Schbeiker, hello.

Zech: *Look up briefly to ask Noin, in a muffled tone,* Is that her last name?

Noin: *Shushes him.*

Duo: Hellooooo, Quatre! What's up? And it's OO7, please.

Hilde: . . . What he means to say is, what's our mission?

Quatre: *Grins* Well, I hope you two are doing fine today . . . Oh, and before you answer, I'll remind you this is a tape, and I can't hear a thing you're saying.

Duo & Hilde: *Share a look*

Duo: . . . We knew that.

Heero: *Backstage, he slaps a hand to his head.* Dear GOD . . .

Quatre: Anyways . . . Your mission, should you choose to accept it is to . . . is to . . . *Shoots a troubled look to the un-involved performers backstage, grinning as he sees Relena.* . . . Is to choose a suitable outfit for Heero to wear to his casual date with Relena tonight! Spandex is not acceptable! You must choose from Heero's own closet, however.

Hilde: *Blink* We have to infiltrate Heero's closet?

Relena: Casual date?

Heero: . . . Spandex not acceptable?

Duo: *^.^* No prob.

Quatre: *Smiles widely.* This tape will self-destruct in fivefourthreetwoone! . . . Huh, that's fun . . . BOOM!

Duo: *Falls over, twitching on the ground.*

Hilde: . . . He could give us a -little- warning. *Pouts*

Quatre: *Returns the microphone, and returns to his seat.*

Hilde: *Sweatdrops.* Get up, honey.

Duo: *Pops up immediately* Okay, let's go! *Runs off the stage.*

All: *Stare*

Hilde: . . . It's a game, Duo! We're not actually supposed to go and-- Oh, never mind. *Sighs*

Camera man: Eh . . . I'll get the portable.

Noin: Er, thanks, um . . .

Camera man: Cameron. *Walks backstage.*

Hilde: *Takes off after her braided partner* Duo! Wait up!

Duo: *Slips out of the studio door, unseen by the audience.*

Cameron: *Sneaks out after!*

Heero: . . . Oh, no fucking way. He planned this, didn't he? *Gets up and darts after, following.*

Noin: *O.o* Wait! Heero! You aren't play-- Oh dear . . .

Zechs: *While mumbling into the wood of the desk,* No one is going to survive this show, are they?

Relena: *Blinking, confused* Does this mean I have a date with Heero tonight?

~Elsewhere~

Duo: *Hails a taxi.* Hurry up Hilde! And, um . . . Camera guy!

Hilde: *Slips into the cab, quickly.*

Cameron: Cameron.*Hops in*

*And as the taxi roars off, Heero makes it out of the studio.*

Heero: I really -am- going to kill him this time. No, really! See the patented Heero Yuy Glare of Death I wear? *Glares, then hops in his own car and speeds off after them.*

Duo: Er, where's Heero's apartment?

Hilde: *Sweatdrops* Eh . . . *Pulls out her cell phone, and in a monotone voice says:* Call Relena.

Cameron: *Still diligently filming.*

~Elsewhere~

Relena: *Looks startled as her pocket begins to ring, pulling out her cell and flipping it on.* Hello?

Dorothy: . . . You turned your cell phone on in the studio?

Relena: *Gives her a flat look.* Well, you never know when there might be ANOTHER terrorist organization or kidnapping attempt or etcetera etcetera . . . Anyway *Back into the phone,* Hello?

Hilde: Relena! Hi! I hate to bother you at the studio, but, um . . . *Pauses* I'm kind of embarrassed to ask, but what's Heero's address? *She grins, hopefully*

Relena: Oh . . . well . . . *Blush* What makes you think I know?

Hilde: Call it women's intuition.

Zechs: *Lifts his head and blinks at Relena in astonishment, who blushes again.*

Noin: Isn't this another great time for a commercial break? *Hurriedly motions the camera elsewhere.*

~Commercial Break~

Announcer: *Who bears a strange resemblance to Doctor J* Heeeey, kids! Come on down to Poke Depot! We have everything, and I do mean everything, that can possibly be cheaply decorated with Poke things and sold again for an extremely high price! We have Poke-phones, poke-CDs, Poke-dolls, Poke-clothes, Poke-wallpaper, Poke-food, and even Poke-toilet-paper! Come in before twelve and we'll even give you your very own Poke-shopping bag, absolutely free, for only $14.99. It's the greatest store in the world!

*Scene changes so that you can see four or five kids sitting together, looking blank*

Kids: *All together, in a monotone voice* Yay.

*Scene switches back to announcer*

Announcer: So come on down and get your Poke-merchandise today! *Starts to laugh insanely.* Haha! Money! All for me! Hahahahahaha!

~Back to the Studio!~

Zechs: *Just finishing swallowing pills, he blinks and looks up as the camera focuses on him.* . . . Uh . . . Oh! *^.^!* Right! Well, while Heero is on the hunt for Duo's blood, we can move onto the next event . . .

Relena: *Chirps from her seat, swaying a bit* Which is championship midget shaving!

Noin: Um, no. *Eyes her askance, then goes on.* The next event will be . . . *Glances at her cards.* . . . The Dating game! Relena, you will be the bachelorette, looking for a date on a game show. Wufei, Quatre, and Heero-- Oh, wait. Heero's gone . . . All right, Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa will play bachelors One, Two, and Three, who must answer Relena's questions according to a certain personality and/or quirk that is written on your cards. Relena must then be able to guess everyone's true identity before the game ends. Please take your places onstage . . .

Relena: *Giggles, hiccups, and then moves to sit on a stool. Once she sits down, she very nearly falls over backward, though catches herself just in time.*

The Three Contestants: *Read their cards, and then take their seats onstage.*

Quatre: *Looks at Relena skeptically.*

Relena: *Hiccups again, and blinks slowly, turning with great care to stare back at the offstage contestants, then turns with just as much care and concentration to face the audience again.* That water tasted funny . . .

Dorothy: *Smiles innocently and crosses her legs, shoving a small liquor bottle--now empty--into her inner jacket pocket.*

Relena: Well, aaalllll righty then! *Swerves around to face the three contestants, promptly falls out of her chair, and then slowly works her way back up again.* . . .'scuse me. Eh-hem. Bachelor number One . . . *She pauses, in a half-crouch and not quite back into her seat, gripping the stool tightly to keep her from falling again.* Um . . . I look for many qualities in a man, like . . . stuff. What do you look for in a woman?

Wufei: *Immediately, the words "A Homosexual Male Just Coming to Grips With His Sexuality" appear below him, for audience eyes only to see. Wufei twitches, murmuring about injustice.* Well, Relena . . . In a woman, I look for . . . for . . . Well, to tell the truth, I look for something that most women don't have. *He lets out a deep breath, very glad it's over.*

Relena: Really? *By this time she has managed to regain her seat. She blinks, hiccups, and blinks again.* Okay . . . Bachelor nummer too. *Words beginning to get slightly slurred now,* I'm ushually not materialishick . . . but if you bought me a gift, what would it be?

Quatre: *Immediately, the words "A Reporter Looking for the Inside Scoop on the REAL Relena Peacecraft" appear scrawled beneath him.* Well, Miss Relena, I might get you a lovely pink stuffed bear, decorated with ribbons, lace, and a *Coughs* minimicrophone/taperecorder *Coughs* Oh, pardon me. But I'm sure you'll love it.

Relena: *Nods, slowly, still swaying slightly on her stool* Neat . . .! Bashelor nummer thee . . . how about . . . I know! Deshcwribe your idea of a perfect date in thee wordsh . . .

Trowa: *The words: "Overly Talkative Teenage Valley Girl" appear. In a superb, and at the same time disturbing, valley accent, he speaks.* Like, just, like, three? But, like, there's, like, so much we can, like, you know, do! Like, go to the mall, or like, do facials and make-overs on each other . . . *By now, he's gesturing along with his words, even twirling his bangs in a scarily precise imitation.*

* . . . And by now, every eye in the studio is on Trowa.*

Noin: He speaks . . .

Zechs: *Well, every eye but Zech's, anyway. Barely noticing, he focuses worriedly on his sister.*

Relena: Oh. Okay. Um . . . *Seems to be thinking quite hard.* Bashelor nummer one . . . deshcwribe what . . . um . . . what physical attributes . . . you like in a date.

Wufei: *Sighs.* Well, I like my dates strong, tough, manly . . . Wait! No . . . I mean . . . heh-heh . . . Not-manly?

Relena: *Stares at him for a moment* . .You're stransh . . .

Wufei: *Grumbles, albeit softly.*

Relena: Now, Bashelor nummer thee . . .

Noin: *Clears her throat* Two, Dear.

Relena: Wha? *Blinks, giggles, and hiccups.* Oh, right. Two. Um . . . what sorta things do you like to talk about? With . . . dates . . . and people?

Quatre: Oh, it'd all be about you, Miss Relena. All about you.

Relena: *Hiccups.* About me? *Suddenly pauses, and gets rather teary-eyed all of a sudden.* Would you leave the date early?

Quatre: Of course not, Miss Relena! You're far too interesting for me to want to leave at all.

Relena: *Sniffling* You wouldn't-- *Hiccup.* --stay away from me? You wouldn't threaten to-- *Sniffle.* --kill me every time we-- *Hiccup.* --meet? You wouldn't be-- *Sniff.* --antisocial and give me-- *Hiccup.* --mixed signals? *Abruptly dissolves into tears.*

Dorothy: *Raising an amused eyebrow in her seat at the back of the stage, noting quietly:* She <I>really</I> can't hold her liquor . . .

Quatre: *Looking concerned suddenly.* Are you alright, Miss Relena?

Relena: N-Nuh-No! *Sniffling.*

Zechs: *Blinking. very worried.* . . . I think it's time to ring the buzzer . . .

Relena: *Abruptly sits up straighter, wipes her nose and blinks, stopping her crying.* Wait! There's still Bachelor number three! And, um . . . I can't think of a question . . . *She slumps, then, sadly, and still sorta sways on her stool*

Trowa: Like, don't worry! I can, like, answer anything!

Relena: Answer why he hates me. *Hiccup, tilt.*

Trowa: Nobody hates you, 'Lena! Like, isn't it, like, totally super obvious or whatever!?! He's just, so, like, gag-me-with-a-spoon-shy, that like, he can't talk to, like, the wonder that like, is you! Like, for sure!

Relena: Oh. *Hiccups, nods, more tilting . . . she quickly rights herself.* Okay. I'm done then! *She hops off the stool, quickly stumbling.* I think . . *Hiccup.* I need a break . . . *Focuses blankly on the far wall of the studio for a minute, before promptly lacking out.*

Dorothy: *Looks all too pleased with herself.*

Quatre: *Rushes forward to help her.*

Trowa: *Walks over to her slowly, to help.*

Wufei: *Laughing*

Zechs: . . . Relena! *O.O*

Noin: *Clears her throat and presses the buzzer* Game over! . . .Eh-heh . . .

Quatre and Trowa: *Move Relena to a seat between them.*

Wufei: *Puts away the stools, still laughing.*

Zechs: . . . Wufei, you will not have a tongue to laugh with if you keep that up. *Glares*

Noin: . . . I think it's time for another commercial break . . . *Weakly.*

Wufei: *tries (yet fails miserably) to conceal his laughter.*

Zechs: *Stands, and stalks towards Wufei with a dangerous look in his eyes as the stage fades and a commercial appears.*

~Commercial!~

********

Author's Note: Enjoy? Not enjoy? Either way, we need audience suggestions, people (Though I hope it was the former)! Suggestions for "Scenes from a hat" and "Who's Line" would be appreciated muchly!

[TetsuDeinonychus]

THAT WAS GREAT!

Now what about the game where they have the guy stand in front of the blue screen and pretend to give a news report, and has to guess what's being shown in the background.

[Neoen]

lol, hilarious. Looking forward to more.

[White Witch]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I got to watch Whose Line once, and it was hilarious!!! There was this one time when they were pretending to make a movie, and one person has to act as the director and he tells them if they act like hillbillies or sailors or whatever. Continue!!!!!

[Chibi-sitter]

OH MY GOD! FUNNY CRACK UP HILARIOUS I watch "whose line is it anyway?" and your version turned out wonderful more i want more! NEED MORE love it!

[Ayane Armstrong]

I need to watch Who's Line Is It Anyway more so I can give some suggestions!

[Calla Lily]

Hm, sorry no suggestions at the moment. Oh wayyyy---ttttt.
The HOE-DOWN!!! Yes, that's my fav part.

But this chapter was pretty good. To see Trowa speak like a typical Valley girl has forever scarred my mind. That, and Relena not able to speak properly.

Relena: *Sniffling* You wouldn't-- *Hiccup.* --stay away from me? You wouldn't threaten to-- *Sniffle.* --kill me every time we-- *Hiccup.* --meet? You wouldn't be-- *Sniff.* --antisocial and give me-- *Hiccup.* --mixed signals? *Abruptly dissolves into tears.*

This would have to be the best part, IMO. Oh yes, the drama, the tears, the laughter. Poor lass.

[Raspberry]

That is crazy! ME LIKE IT!!!

[bookworm]

I wanna see Heero beat Duo to a pulp!!! Oh, the torture!!! Oh the pain!!! Oh the wait!!!! I want more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!