When Somebody Loved Me

[Mystical Angel]

Disclaimer: I do not claim I own Gundam Wing, or Sarah McLachlan's song When She Loved Me.



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When Somebody Loved Me

By Mystical Angel

Rated PG-13



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When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful. Everything was beautiful, because somebody loved me. That's right. Someone gave me their heart and soul. Someone gave me their love with no catch. Me . . . Me of all people . . . Every hour of the day we spent together, each minute that passed by, I treasured in my heart. Because it was spent with this person that loved me. But the most beautiful aspect of this, is that I loved them back. I... Loved . . . Them . . . Back. Oh how my eyes ached every time they landed on their graceful body. Oh how my mind hurt when it was clouded with the scent of them. Oh how my heart broke when she left me.



My love, Relena Darlian left me . . .



~*~*~*~*~*~



There she was, sitting alone, staring into the night sky. She was beautiful. Her white nightgown fell around her gracefully. Her blonde hair rested lightly on her shoulders. She was the perfect picture of peace. But all I could feel was anger. Anger that she had went on a walk . . . Alone. Alone with no protection. How could she have been so careless?



"Are you going to stand there all night Heero?" Her melodic voice sang through the air.



"What are you doing here Relena?" I said monotonously. I wanted to yell it. I wanted to put all my feelings into it, and show her just how angry I was at her carelessness . . . But I couldn't. I could never . . .



"Taking a walk . . . " She said in a matter-of-fact tone. It only fueled my anger.



"Alone. Without protection."



"I wasn't worried . . . " She said. Her eyes left the night sky and drifted toward mine, "I knew you would watch over me."



I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't say anything. It hurt to see all the love shining in her eyes. It hurt, because I knew my eyes could never shine with love. She was filled with emotion. I was filled with emptiness.



"You will always be there for me Heero, won't you?" she said.



I wanted to say yes. I wanted to yell it, and make it a point to anyone who could hear. But I stayed silent. She didn't mind though. She already knew the answer.



"I was lonely," she began, "The stars always keep me company. That's what I am doing here." Her gaze drifted back up to the sky.



"Do you know why the stars comfort me Heero?" No, I didn't know, "Because they remind me of your eyes. That mysterious Prussian blue."



"Why are you lonely Relena?" The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them.



She closed her eyes, but didn't say anything. Slowly she turned her head, facing me. "Because you aren't with me, Heero."



I didn't know what to do. What are you supposed to do, when an angel from heaven practically professes her undying love to you? I didn't know what to do, but my heart did. Before I knew it, I had wrapped my arms around her, my head laid softly atop her hair. She sighed and relaxed against me.



I wanted to say 'I will always be there for you Relena. Always . . . '



But I didn't. No words were needed. And I wasn't about to spoil this perfect moment. All I knew was that when she was lonely, I would always be there to comfort her.



~*~*~*~*~*~



"We are gathered here today to say good bye to a fellow friend. Even though he would not like to be called one, he truly is a hero in all of our hearts. He will be sorely missed. The happiness he gave us will always be remembered . . . "



It hurt to see the silent tears run down her cheeks. It hurt to see the sadness in her eyes. It hurt to see my friend and fellow pilot being lowered down into the soft dirt. It was always thought I would be the first to go. But I wasn't . . . Duo Maxwell was . . .



The funeral was beautiful. Like her, it was beautiful and sad. I considered Duo one of my only friends, if I could have friends. And here he was dead. The emptiness in me grew.



I looked to my side. Relena sat on the black chair, in her soft black dress. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but instead I lifted one hand and gently wiped her tears away. She looked into my eyes then, and I froze. I felt my mind falter. It was a guilty feeling. Here I was at Duo's funeral, where I should have shed tears and mourned with everyone else, I was stuck in the moment, bursting with emotion for this one woman who sat next to me.



But somehow I knew Duo wouldn't mind. He would have been happy that I was *making a move* finally. He would be happy if his death would bring Relena and I together. I could just imagine him now jumping up and down, his braid swinging dangerously around him, giving me a thumbs up and a suggestive wink.



I smiled at the thought. My hand rested on Relena's still wet cheek. Her hand came up and rested on mine. She looked into my eyes, and as if she knew what I was thinking, she smiled too. In her eyes I still saw sadness, but lurking behind it, happiness was beginning to shine. She was happy, and so was I.



The funeral continued. But Relena and I were glued to this one moment.



~*~*~*~*~*~



Together we walked down the street, hand in hand. I watched her out of the corner of my eye. She was beautiful. The summer sun set cast soft colors across her skin. Her white summer dress turned a shade of gold. She was watching the sky, her head tilted back.



"Are you still lonely?" I asked her.



She faced me, surprised written across her features, "Of course not. Why do you ask?"



"You are watching the sky."



She smiled, and it was lovely.



"You once told me you watched the sky because you were lonely." I said, "Why do you watch it now?"



"Because I am not lonely." Confusion must have crossed my features.


"Every time I look into the sky, I see your eyes." Her words sounded strangely familiar, "I see that mysterious Prussian blue. And I am reminded, that you are by my side."



I smiled at her. A true genuine smile. Slowly I stopped my steps and faced her. I took her hand into mine and brought it gently to my lips. My other hand caressed her face.



"I will always be by your side." I said softly.



She smiled. Slowly I met her lips in a soft kiss. It was as gentle as the summer wind. But the fire in me burned for more. She lit me with passion and emotion I never knew I had. She ignited it and kept it burning. Around her I felt . . . Alive.



I don't know how, but somehow we made it back to my apartment. Our surroundings were plain and dull. But the passion Relena and I let out was enough to decorate any boring room.



My hands drifted across her body as my mouth explored hers. She left out a soft moan into our kiss, and I was fueled on. Slowly I let out my pent up passion and showed her my every emotion.



My hands moved down her body to her hips, and where I pulled her toward me. All thoughts left my mind. The only thing I felt was need. The need to feel her all around me. The need to touch her. The need to be one with her.



We made it to my bedroom where I gently coaxed her to lie on the bed, and I draped my body across hers. We drove each other closer to white-hot pleasure. Our arms and legs were tangled around each other, a helpless jumble of limbs.



We came together, the pleasure riding through both us. And together we slowly drifted from cloud nine. I cradled her sweaty body against my own. She rested her head on my chest, as we both tried to catch our breath.



She was beautiful. Even with her tangled hair sticking to her wet skin. She was beautiful, and I wanted to tell her. Slowly, as if knowing I was gazing at her, she lifted her head to look into my eyes. Her eyes shone with love. I only wished she saw the same in mine.



"Heero . . . " she began, "I love you."



I tightened my arm around her, "Relena... I... I..."



She put her forefinger against my lips, and hushed me, "I won't force you to say it, Heero. I just wanted to let you know how I feel."



I gazed into her eyes and pulled her body closer to mine, "I know Relena, I know."



She smiled and closed her eyes. She laid her head back down onto my chest, and tossed a leg over mine. I wrapped my arms around her body, and followed her into a deep sleep.



~*~*~*~*~*~



Together we walked down the street, hand in hand. I watched her out of the corner of my eye. She was beautiful. The fall sun set cast soft colors across her skin. Her body was wrapped up tightly in a warm coat, her cheeks a rosy red caused by the cold fall air.



My gaze drifted toward the sky. It was cloudy, but the sun set colors made up for the loss of the sky.



"Why do you watch the sky Heero?" she asked me.



I gazed down into her eyes, "Because you do."





"I don't understand." She said softly.



"You watch the sky because it reminds you of me. I watch the sky because you do. Because I know that if we are ever separated, we watch the same sky."



Relena smiled and hugged me closer to her body, "We will never be separated."



I smiled, "Never is a long time."



"Never is eternity." She said, "And I mean it."



"And I believe you." Heero said softly, "The question is, do you believe it."



"Always and forever."



"Why do you choose me Relena?"



"What do you mean?" she asked quizzically.



"Why do you choose to love me?"



"I don't know," She said thoughtfully, "You draw me to you. You draw me into your mysterious Prussian blue eyes.



"And every time I see you, I lose all my strength, and can't do anything but allow it to happen.



"You ignite this fire in me. And no matter how hard I try I can't put it out. You feed it. And while you are by my side, you will always fuel it.



"I'm not making any sense." She finished frustrated.



"No." I replied back. I stopped walking and cupped her face in my hands, "You make perfect sense."



She stared at me questioningly.



"I understand you completely, because that is exactly how I feel. You ignite my fire Relena."



She smiled, and it was lovely. She cupped my face, and brought my lips down to meet hers. The kiss was as gentle as the falling leaves, in the different hues of gold. Because that was what she was... Gold.



Through the summer and the fall, we had each other... She and I together, like it was meant to be.



~*~*~*~*~*~



The years went by. I stayed the same. She still possessed every thought of mine. She was always around me. Her scent was always lurking under my nose. Her silky hair was always on the edge of my fingertips. Her beautiful voice sang every where I went.



But she began to drift away. She went on trips more and more. She left for the colonies, for a friend's party, for her wedding toward Quatre Winner. I watched silently from the shadows as she walked down the aisle in her wedding dress.



She was beautiful.



No. She was radiant. And she was happy. Her smile shined with it, as she continued her path to her future husband.



I once thought, that whenever she was happy. I would be happy too. But as I watched her become husband and wife to a fellow Gundam pilot, I could not feel that happiness. I could feel nothing. I was empty. And that was all I ever would be.



I left before their first marital kiss. I could not bare to watch anymore. She once said we would always be together. She hadn't promised it, but I had believed it. And it had proven to be false.



I was left alone. She left me. Oh how my heart broke when she left me. I fell into the void of loneliness. I did not have the strength to claw myself out. I could not. My every dream and thought were plagued with her. Her scent, her smile, her beauty.



I could not leave and make my way into the real world. Because I knew, she would never be mine. I would never be able to hold her after a kiss, after a walk, after we made love. If only I had told her I loved her. If only I had presented my feelings toward her more often.



If only... But it was too late.



Opportunities presented themselves to me over the years. Times where I could move on, and forget the golden haired angel I once loved... I still love. But I ignored them. I still hung onto the thought that maybe...Just maybe one day she would come back to me.



I waited for the day when she'd say, "I will always love you."



But it never came...



~*~*~*~*~*~





"I love you Heero." She said.



I looked down at her. It was totally random for her to say it, but I smiled anyway.



One day I will say those exact words back to her. She didn't seem disappointed when I didn't say anything. She just turned her head and continued to watch the sky. I sat in my spot frozen, and watched her.



"Why do you watch me Heero?"



I lifted my gaze to her eyes wonderingly.



"What?"



"Why are you always watching me? Are you afraid I will attack you or something?" she said, teasing me.



I smiled, "I am afraid you will disappear, and this will all fade away... Like a dream. Because you are a dream Relena."



Relena sighed and wrapped her arms around me, "I'm not a dream Heero. And I will never disappear."



"Never?"



"Never." She confirmed it.



"You once told me never was eternity."



"And we have all of eternity to be with each other." She said.



I stroked my hand through her hair, "That sounds nice."



"Heero?" She asked hesitantly.



"Yea."



"Do you love me?"



"Do you really need to ask that?"



She sighed, "No."



We sat there, gazing into the night sky.



~*~*~*~*~*~



"I never see you watch the sky any more Relena." I said. She looked up from her work, and gazed into my eyes.



"Why not?" I asked.



"I..."



"Why not Relena?"



"I have no reason too." She said finally.



"You once said you watch the sky because it reminds you of me. Then you said you watch the sky because it reminds you I am by your side.



"Am I still by your side Relena?"



"Yes Heero." She said softly.



"Are you still by side?"



She didn't answer.



She didn't need too.



I stood and walked to the door. Slowly I turned around and faced her. She was beautiful. She was no longer mine. But she still gazed at me with her eyes full of love. I didn't understand.



I will never understand.



"I will always be by your side Relena."



Tears welled up her in her eyes. It hurt to see them. I once would have wiped her tears away. I once would have comforted her when she was lonely. But I was no longer the person who did that. She had another.



"Whether you see me or not, I will always be by your side."



I left her that day. But it could more accurately be said, she left me.



~*~*~*~*~*~



"We are gathered here today to say good bye to a fellow friend. Even though he would not like to be called one, he truly is a hero in all of our hearts. He will be sorely missed. The happiness he gave us will always be remembered..."



I wished it was I being lowered into the grave of dirt. But once again it wasn't. I wasn't the first to go, and I wasn't the second to go. Somehow I know that I will probably be the last one to die. The one to suffer the longest.



Silently the priest let his words trail off as he finished his speech, "Quatre Winner will forever be remembered."



She was crying again. And no one was there to wipe her tears away. She was lonely. Just like me. I wanted to comfort her. But who would comfort me?



Selfish, I know.



I thought back to the first funeral I went to. Duo Maxwell had brought Relena and I together through death. Who was to bring us together now? Maybe we were never destined to be together for eternity. After all, eternity was a long time.



The funeral continued on. But I had long ago left it.



~*~*~*~*~*~



I didn't want to go. But somehow I found myself at the door step of the Maxwell home. Hilde had invited me to celebrate her late husband's birthday. I rang the doorway and was greeted with Hilde's smile.



Her house hadn't changed much. It still looked the same as when Duo was alive. I wondered how she coped with it. I wouldn't have been able too...



The party was a happy event. For everyone but me that is. It was sad to see all the people from my past. People I hadn't talked to a long time. But the hardest thing was when I gazed into her eyes.



Old feelings stirred up in my body. I felt a fire long ago put out, ignite once again. I was lonely and forgotten and I never thought she'd look my way.



But she did...



"Hello Heero." She said walking up to me.



"Relena."



"It's good to see you again."



"You too."



The day's following passed by in a blur. The newly ignited fire in me burned endlessly as I found her naked body huddled next to mine. I stroked my hand through her hair and took in her gentle scent.



She lifted her head and smiled at me. She wrapped her arms around me and held me just like she used to do. Slowly she laid her head on my chest. She held me through the night. She didn't let go once. It was like... She loved me.



"Heero?"



"Yes Relena."



"What has changed between us?" she asked softly.



"Time. Time has changed us."



"Heero?"



"Yes Relena."



"I love you."



My eyes lifted to her face. I couldn't have possibly heard her right.



"No matter what has happened to us, I will always love you."



I didn't know what to say. I just stared at her, my eyes wide.



She looked away disappointed. And I knew what I had to do.



I wrapped my arms around her small body and brought my lips down to her cheek.



"Relena?"



"Yes Heero." She said softly.



"I love you."



She opened her eyes and gazed into mine, "I don't need to force it out, like you once thought I had too. You filled my emptiness."



"Relena Darlian, I will always love you."



She closed her eyes and silently tears escaped her shut lids, "You once told me Heero you will always be by my side. I once told you the same thing."



She paused, lost in the memories, "You kept your side of the promise. But me... I didn't."



"Hush Relena." I said interrupting her, "We never made any promises."



"But..."



"No buts. What has happened in the past doesn't matter. What matters is that we are together... Now."



"Always and forever?" she asked softly.



"Always and forever." I confirmed, "Never will we be separated."



"Never is a long time." She said.



"Never is eternity."



~*~*~*~*~*~



When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful. Everything was beautiful, because somebody loved me. That's right. Someone gave me their heart and soul. Someone gave me their love with no catch. Me... Me of all people... Every hour of the day we spent together. Each minute that passed by, I treasured in my heart. Because it was spent with this person that loved me. But the most beautiful aspect of this, is that I loved them back.



I... Loved... Them... Back.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



That's the end of my first Gundam Wing fan fic. What did you think? Please review or email me.



Stay tuned! I have two more GW stories I am writing. But no worries! I haven't forgotten about Forgotten Secrets! I am just at a stalemate right now.



And my new Rurouni Kenshin fan fic is almost done! So expect that very soon!

[melodrama]

Gosh Mystical!

That was lovely! A really well written and thought provoking piece! Your tone and use of the song lyrics was lovely.

Thank you so much for sharing and I look forward to reading more of your work!

Take care!

Mel

[Litia-sama]

Darn it mel, I wanted to be first!

*gasp* Newbie!!! *cheers*

About your fic, OH MY GOD! Are you sure this was your first GW fic? Because you were right on. Seriously. I mean that- just- whoo!

When She Loved Me. You have no idea how much I love that song. Your intertwining the lyrics into the fic was perfect. You hear me? PERFECT.

It says you've only made one post. So this is your first post, eh? *evil grin* And I get to praise it. Buahaha!

This was so well done. I mean it. I mean it. I actually felt my stomach drop when Relena married Quatre. I was like, holy crap! And then Duo being the one in the first funeral...I just...I just...

Wow.

Ok, I'll stop now. I'll save you the trouble of hearing my bad reputation for niceness and just assure that if you don't write more, I'll PM you until you eventually cave and write a 50 piece arc consisting ENTIRELY of 1xR lemons. Don't think I won't do it, because I will.

So, once again, GREAT fic and WELCOME to BI. Prepare to go insane.

~Litia

[Beck]

What a lovely piece of work. Just the back and forth dialouge between the two was enough to know what they felt. So sad though to have to bury Duo and Quatre but you can't live forever no matter who you are. I felt for Heero but at least to know that he never stopped loving her regardless of what it might have felt for him. Nice approach with how you used the song too. Hope to see more of your stuff soon.

[Mystical Angel]

Hiya everyone! Thanks for commenting ^^ I'm glad ya'll like it!

Litia-sama - It almost makes me want to not write to see if you really will PM 50 times ^^

[Morrighan]

Oh my Goddess... Are you sure this is your first Gundam Wing fic??? *bows* I pay my respects to a wonderful writer. I could just go on and on about how impressed I am with this, but I won't, cuz it'll be too long to read.

But long story short, it flowed extremely well and it almost seemed like the story was singing itself to life. No, I'm not kidding about that last part. It really seemed like that!

Wonderful job, I can't wait to see more of your work soon!

[Tomorrow]

Wow... the emotion in this fic was overwhelming. I felt Heero's pain so vividly, as well as Relena's guilt at the end. Such raw emotion.

[Litia-sama]

Litia-sama - It almost makes me want to not write to see if you really will PM 50 times ^^

Don't say that. Curiosity didn't just kill the cat, it ate it too.



~Litia

[miyuchan]

This was fantastic! Absolutely beautiful. I was drawn in from teh very first detail and held on to the last. Very emotionally intense. Very real! Great job! Can't wait to read more of your work. ^^

[Mystical Angel]

Thanks Morrighan, Tomorrow, and Miyuchan for reviewing ^^

Hehe, it kind of reminds me of this one time I had to write this story for school. It was for science so my teacher wasn't expecting anything huge, but I went all out anyway. It was this huge dramatic piece that ended in a cliffhanger about a girl being murdered... or not. And everyone was all like "What was going through your head!" hehe. It was pretty funny @_@