What If?
Here's my second chapter... I know I said that I would be putting up all of the chapters I have at once, but when I read through them I realized that they still need a lot of work done. So instead, I will put them up as I fix them. It shouldn't take a long time.
I do not own Gundam Wing
Chapter 2
Heero?s eyes opened slowly and were immediately assaulted by the light washing over him. He blinked a few times and let them adjust to their new environment. Despite the fact that he was buried beneath a thick comforter and his face was kissed by the sun, he still felt very cold.
Through the fog of sleep, there was a nagging sense that things were not as they should be? He then bolted up right, remembering the events of the night before. Realizing that he felt no pain, he searched his bare torso for evidence of his injury. There was none. No bandages, no gauze. He ran his hands down the length of his back, only to feel nothing but his icy cold skin. No gashes, no stitches? no markings at all.
What in the hell is going on? He thought to himself. Did I die?
Heero shook his head at the thought. He definitely was not dead, he didn?t believe in an afterlife. He didn?t believe that when your body expired, the good, pure souls were greeted by pearly gates and a land of comfort and happiness, while the damned were condemned to a land of unbearable heat and misery, to be consumed by fire for all of eternity. The thought was absurd, though if there were such a place, Heero was certain he would be counted among the damned.
Just then, the door burst open and a child, about eleven or twelve, surged into the room and jumped onto the bed Heero was lying in with much enthusiasm.
?You?re back!? He exclaimed joyfully, as he clasped Heero?s cheeks with both of his hands.
Heero was completely shocked by the sudden intrusion, but quickly schooled his features back into that impenetrable mask. The kid only laughed at the change and began to play with the bangs that fell across Heero?s forehead. Another soft laughter distracted Heero from his irritation with the child in his lap. He turned his attention to the source of the sound.
If he hadn?t been trained better, his jaw may have dropped at the sight of a girl about his age standing in the doorway. She looked exactly like him. From the shape, lines and contours of her features, to her chocolate brown hair, to the Prussian blue of her eyes. Even the way she moved, with a cat like lithe, was like him. But she was different too. Her features, over all, were softened by her feminine nature. Her hair was much more tame then his, waving softly down to her waist, and her eyes, though intense, were lit by kindness and joy, not at all like his cold, vacant ones. She was him? but not. Her eyes made contact with his and she became unnerved by his glare.
?Hey, why don?t we let him wake up a little? We don?t want to overwhelm him.? She said to the boy.
Reluctantly, he obliged. He got down from Heero?s bed and made his way out the door. The girl shot one last, nervous glace at him before following the child, closing the door behind her.
Heero was once again left alone, this time even more confused then when he first woke. What did they mean by him being back? He had never been here before. He was certain he would have remembered that girl.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and, clad only in a pair of sweat pants, went in search of a shirt. He opened the drawers of a dresser pushed against the wall closest to the window and took out the first tee shirt he found. He pulled the soft fabric on over his head, then surveyed his surroundings. The room was decorated in various shades of blue from sky to indigo. Other then the bed, dresser, and one desk in the room, it was fairly ?non-descrip?. He walked over to the desk, shuffling through the papers on top before searching the drawers, finding nothing of interest.
Where the hell am I! He thought as he slammed the bottom drawer shut. I must be dreaming?a very, very lucid dream.
A shiver moved down his spine from the cold that seemed to refuse to leave him. He rubbed his icy hands against each other, hoping that the friction would generate some heat. It didn?t seem to work.
He heard the door knob twist and saw the door slowly being opened out of the corner of his eye. He turned to face the girl, her arms wrapped tightly around her form as she cautiously moved closer. She stopped about a foot away, not quite making eye contact.
?You don?t remember me, do you.? she said softly, her voice filled with sadness.
He shook his head firmly.
She looked at him and gave a little smile that didn?t reach her eyes.
?That?s okay? it?s my fault that I lost you? I could have fought harder, been stronger.? She next to whispered. ?I barely recognized you myself??
He was confused by her statement, but he didn?t question, and she didn?t clarify.
?You?re here now, and that is all that matters.? She said, a brighter tone in her voice. She smiled genuinely. ?Come on? lets go see the others now.?
?Others?? he questioned in his habitual monotone.
?You don?t honestly think that I was the only one waiting for you to come around? Do you?? She asked teasingly, her smile widening. Her eyes filled with kindness. How odd those expressions seemed to him when displayed on features so similar to his own.
She reached towards him and took hold of his upper arm. The heat generated from her gentle hand burned against his icy skin as she led him out the door and down a small hallway. Her feverish skin warmed his flesh, making him feel more comfortable, more content? then she let go. The warmth quickly faded, the chill, once again, settling into his bones. He retreated back behind his mask.
They entered a small kitchen, where four boys were waiting for them. Two of them were sitting at the small table in the center of the room, conversing quietly. One stood at the stove, stirring various substances in pots while commenting every now and then to the others sitting at the table. The boy that had been in Heero?s room earlier, moved from one person to the other. He was laughing, teasing, trying to get some attention from the others. Some seemed to be annoyed at his hyperactivity, but it was clear to Heero that they all held an affection for the child. They all looked to the door where they had entered, smiling invitingly. He looked to his likeness still standing at his side.
?They are that?s left of our family.? She answered, sensing his question.
?Hn.? was his only response.
She moved towards the stove and began to help with the cooking, adding spices to a large pot at the back and mixing it in.
?You can come in you know?? She threw the words over her shoulder when she saw he still had yet to move.
At her invitation, he sat at the table in the chair farthest from the group. He observed the family. As the meal was served, they all settled into seats around the table. The conversation was light, mainly recounting the events of the day for the others, and some joked while others laughed. They all seemed to try to subtly involve Heero in their musings, with a smile or a nod in his direction. But Heero didn?t feel a part of this life. He felt like an outsider, watching the ease and comfort they all shared with each other. He felt detached. It was then that he realized, where ever the hell he was, that he didn?t belong...
An unsettling silence filled the room as Heero left his place at the table to exit the house. He could have smiled at the irony, he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Suddenly, the screeching sounds of a chair sliding across the linoleum floor caught his attention. Fevered skin gripped the ice of his forearm, and he turned to see the girl hanging onto him with both hands. Her kind, gentle spirit made the grief in her eyes more intense, then a sudden fear ripped through her features.
?Please? you can?t leave me here again! Don?t shove me back behind that wall? I don?t know how much longer I can survive it!? She pleaded, and a faint understanding danced at the back of his mind, just beyond his reach.
?I?m afraid?? she whispered, jarring him, causing him to lose his thoughts. ?I?m afraid of what will happen to you if I cease to exist? you need to und??
He wrenched his arm from her grip. Everything about this place confused him, and his inability to make sense of the events around him was frustrating him. Where he was, he wasn?t sure, but he realized that there were more important things happening in reality that were more pressing then this girl in front of him. He had people to protect.
Hurt crossed her face as she collapsed to the floor. Four sets of eyes watched the two anxiously.
?I can?t stay.? was all he said.
Tears spilt over the rims of her eyes, and she dropped her head into her hands. She cried silently in the middle of the floor as the others attempted to comfort her. His strength overpowering hers, he turned and walked out the door.
The light of day had begun to fade and the artificial breeze ruffled his hair as he walked through the streets. Though his surroundings told him that he was on a colony, it wasn?t any colony that he was familiar with. How was he supposed to find his way out of this when he wasn?t even sure how he got there in the first place? How was he supposed to find the other pilots? How was he supposed to protect Relena?
Just then, Heero caught a flash of gold from the corner of his eye. He turned just in time to catch the sight of golden hair disappearing around the corner. Relena? He took off in that direction. He rounded the corner just in time to see her disappear behind yet another building. He gave chase once again and came upon a dead end alley. His heart almost stopped. There at the end of the alley was Relena. Or at least in body it was Relena. She looked exactly as he remembered. Her hair was pulled back loosely at the nape of her neck, and she was wearing the white pant suit she had worn at the conference. Her beautiful sky blue eyes were staring into his soul. He felt bare, exposed in front of her, but he didn?t feel any warmth or lightness. His heart didn?t react in odd ways to this woman?s presence. He looked over the person standing in front of him. Physically, she was a good mimic, but it wasn?t Relena.
?Who are you?? he asked, his heart sinking into his stomach.
She smiled sweetly at him and moved forward. She stopped just a few inches from him and stared into his eyes. Though the shape and coloring were Relena?s, Heero could see that they were old and wise, as though they had seen many ages.
?To be able to recognize a person?s soul so keenly is a very powerful and rare connection.? she said in an ethereal voice that seemed to echo in his ears.
?Where am I?? Heero then asked, realizing he wasn?t going to get a straight forward answer to his first question.
The smile never wavered from her face as she rose to her toes and leaned into him until her lips almost touched his ear.
?Limbo?? she answered softly, ?the thin line between life and death.?
Heero backed away from her, as if her words burned him. He didn?t believe in such things, he had to be imagining this. She didn?t seem startled by his actions.
?Why am I here?? He demanded.
?To learn.? She answered simply.
?Learn what?? He questioned. He was starting to get frustrated, though he didn?t show it.
?I can?t answer that. That is for you to find on your own.?
?So, what happens now?? He asked.
?That is your choice.?
?Hn?? He hadn?t been expecting that answer. ?Why would you give someone like me a choice??
?Because there are those who saw good in you? they spoke for you.? She answered kindly.
Heero remembered Quatre at his side. He had said something in his language as he held tightly to his wrist.
?Quatre prayed for me.? He stated. He could have been mentioning the weather for all the emotion his voice held.
?Yes? he spoke aloud. But don?t discount all those who spoke silently, for they were just as powerful.?
Heero broke away from her eyes and looked to the ground. He still didn?t understand why he would be given a choice. Who was he to make such a decision? Wasn?t he a killer? Wasn?t death the only thing he had known since childhood? Surely a life like that was damned from the start, wasn?t it?
He looked to the woman in front of him again. Sadness had settled over her borrowed features. She reached out to him and the tips of her fingers graced his cheek. Her touch was more like a breeze then a solid form. The feeling sent a chill down his spine.
?You still truly can?t see your goodness, can you? You have only lived half a life? and that is why they spoke so powerfully, they could see that.? She sighed. ?Should you choose to live, I promise you that you will still suffer at times, as this is simply a part of human existence. But I can also promise you that you will be given every opportunity to live a whole, complete life, you only have to take it. Should you choose to die, you will no longer suffer, no longer fear, there will be peace, but you must realize what you will be giving up in return? the choice is yours.?
He closed his eyes in thought. Had Heero been asked the question just a few years earlier, his answer would have come easily, but now, even as he gave himself lists of reasons why he didn?t deserve to live, all he could see was Relena?s face. She was the first person to ever truly care for him, and the only person who hadn?t seen him as the weapon, the machine that he had been raised to be, but as a person. She had been his reason for surviving the war, and she was, to this day, the reason why breath still filled his lungs. In her eyes, he always found the will to live. He needed to live, to protect her.
He opened his eyes, but ?Relena? was no longer standing in front of him. He felt searing pain engulf his body as he began to feel heavy. His limbs started to tremble and he looked down at his hands? they were covered in his blood. Crimson stained his clothes as he collapsed to his knees, except there wasn?t a ground to fall to anymore. The scenery around him dissolved as he closed his eyes and fell into a free fall.
Heero could hear noises coming from a distance. The hurried movement of feet accompanied by the rustling of plastic and fabric. Frantic voices were shouting indiscernible words as he descended towards the commotion. There was a sound of an electric machine charging as an unbroken, high pitched beep sounded in the background.
?I?m calling it?? a weary voice claimed. ?Time of death: 20:17.?
?No!? He heard Relena shout, accompanied by the sound of a thud and cracking plaster. There was a low guttural cry of frustration and anger.
?Get her out of here.? Heero heard the unfamiliar voice say with no force.
As the falling sensation ceased, Heero could feel Relena?s trembling hands cupping his face and her tears hot against his skin. He took a deep, much needed breath as the machine beeped back to life. His eyelids felt as though they were weighed down, but he still managed to open them partially. He shifted his head slightly to get a better look at Relena?s pale, shocked face. He groaned weakly at the pain.
?Heero?? She said, relieved. A smile spread widely across her face and she pressed her forehead to his, crying again.
?Unbelievable?? voices around them murmured, astonished. ?Impossible?? and the frantic pace picked up again.
He felt Relena being pulled away from him, and turned to see Duo taking her away with his left arm, his right hand was swollen and bruised.
?Don?t worry Heero,? she called out to him, ?I will be here? I promise.?
She vanished from his view. His eyes were pulling closed, his body screaming for rest.
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Please let me know what you think.
