In What Way? Part 2/4 [NC-17]

[Litia-sama]

WARNING: This fic is rated NC-17 for graphic sexual content.

A/N: If you haven't read the first part of this story, you might be confused as to what is happening. You can find Part 1 here: http://blissfulignorance.com/phpBB/view ... sc&start=0

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. Wait...wait...Nope. Still don't.

In What Way?
Part 2

The confident stride with which he had entered the room dissolved quickly into an awkward and abrupt halt before the desk. From the other side, Relena was hidden behind the morning paper, with a certain headline, picture, and caption boldly highlighted with yellow marker. The headline read, ?Man found beaten in alley.? The picture was of a young man with blonde hair, his face badly bruised, and the caption read, ?Mendow.?

Heero settled himself. She couldn?t prove anything.

The paper lowered and her image struck him. Her hair was down, a rare treat. Her dress and jacket for the day were pale blue. Her expression was that of forced calm, and he knew her thoughts before she allowed her eyes to drift up to him. She was pissed. It was incredible.

?What did you do??

He went over his mental checklist. ?The dishes, the vacuuming, and some work in the garden. Do you have a request?? Though he knew he would pay for such feigned ignorance later, it was marvelous to watch the red glow of anger rise in her face.

?That?s not what I am talking about,? she said slowly, carefully controlling the volume and tone of her voice. Anyone else would not have been able to interpret her mannerisms. ?What did you do to Clayton??

The name made his face tick. He didn?t answer.

?He?s in the hospital, Heero!? she cried, tossing the paper at him and rising to her feet. ?No one has been brought in for questioning, because he didn?t have any enemies. You?re the only one who expressed an interest in him before the attack. What were you thinking? His face is so bruised that his sister barely recognized him. His left arm is fractured in two places, and three of his ribs are cracked!?

At this, he frowned. Cracked ribs? He thought he?d broken them.

?What do you have to say about this?? she demanded, planting her hands on her hips. The way she was glaring at him made him wonder if she would be angry enough to send him away permanently. If only he could be so lucky.

?It had to be done.?

Relena?s jaw fell open. Apparently, that was not the answer she had been expecting. Did she think he would deny it? The thought had crossed his mind, but what would be the point? She would have assumed he?d done it anyway. She assumed so many things.

?What,? she started, raising her hands to massage her temples. ?What do you mean, ?It had to be done???

?He touched you,? he said simply. That was reason enough.

?Heero, you cannot just go around beating people up for such a small thing!?

Now he did frown. A small thing? Was she insane? Did she not know her own worth?

Before he could explain in detail, she moved from behind the desk and came around to face him. Even with her being the shorter of the two of them, she could still maintain a commanding presence. Though she had to tilt her head up to see into his eyes, the look she gave him was hard, angry, and demanding total compliance. Vaguely, he wondered if she would ever look at her lovers that way. The idea sent fire snaking through him, so he pushed it aside. He?d find them all, eventually.

?I want you to listen to me very carefully,? she was saying, and now that she was so close to him, her scent was surrounding him. Heat was radiating from her and he could detect a slight trembling in her voice. ?Do not ever hurt any of the people around me, ever, no matter what you may think of them. Is that clear??

Her voice was low and held more than a bit of warning. That voice could have been used to seduce any man under different circumstances. But this was not the time for such musings.

?It had to be done,? he explained again, ?Your massage therapist was supposed to be a woman. No man was supposed to touch you that way. He took liberties for which he is now being held accountable.?

There, that should settle things. Satisfied in his explanation, he waited for her to respond with a new list of chores for the day. Instead, she merely blinked at him, seemingly confused, then gasped and put a hand over her mouth.

?You thought,? she paused, her hand dropping down to rest on her heart, ?You thought he was my lover, didn?t you??

His body stiffened as she spoke the words. Any notion of her being with that man, with any man, caused a shiver to ripple through him. All the smug satisfaction he had been enjoying died instantly as she all but admitted to sleeping with the blonde letch. Right under his nose. What a fool he was. No one else would get that close to her again. Ever.

?Clayton wasn?t my lover, Heero,? she said softly, and he noticed, with a certain amount of shock, that she was starting to blush, ?I haven?t?? she paused, her eyes drifting away from him to stare at the wall. ?I haven?t ever had a lover.?

There were several moments of silence between them, which provided him with ample time to let her words sink in. Haven?t ever had a lover. The pulse in his ears was suddenly deafening. By the look on her face, he knew she was telling the truth. She?d never had a lover. She?d never been touched. He?d been the first to see her, the first man to ever know the loveliness of her naked form. The first. The very first. It was unbelievably exciting.

?But, that doesn?t excuse what you did,? her eyes gazed back up at him once more, then widened ever so slightly, and he realized that his thoughts must be showing in his eyes. He quickly relaxed all the muscles in his face and shrugged his shoulders. She blinked at him. ?What are you thinking??

Perhaps the worst question she could ever have asked. She did not want to know what he was thinking. He did not want to know what he was thinking.

He decided he simply wouldn?t answer.

?I command you to tell me what you are thinking.?

Damn her wretched punishment, and her skills in diplomacy.

?I am thinking of what it would be like to be your first lover,? he said plainly. The unexpected temptation to lean in closer, to whisper in her ear about the wonder of seeing her in naught but her skin, was startling. He was only thinking of what it would be like; he would never dare act on such a thing. She did, after all, think so little of him anymore. The statement he had just made was sure to be another nail in his coffin, but at least he had told her the truth.

There seemed to be pain in her somewhere, for her expression was stricken. Was the truth so offensive?

?You?? her voice was breathy. Was she having trouble breathing? Her mouth opened and closed several times, and she licked her lips in complete ignorance as to the reaction such a thing could cause.

?You?re thirsty,? he declared bluntly. ?I?ll be back.? He turned and, with hurried steps, left the room to make his way toward the kitchen to fetch her something to drink.

* * *

Relena had not been able to rid herself of the blush in her cheeks for the entire day. It had been bad enough to venture about her house with Heero in close proximity after seeing her nude, but now that she had slipped up and admitted intimate details about her love life to him, it was far too embarrassing. The relief of leaving to work at the office couldn?t have come soon enough.

Worse yet was him seeming to be totally obliviously to what had happened. He went about the day normally, doing chores, running errands, and calling to find out if she wanted grilled chicken or fried chicken for dinner. If it had been any other day, she would have been seeing stars while thinking about all the little things he was doing for her, but not today. Today, she scolded herself for her girlish behavior, for thinking that Heero was actually doing these things to maintain his station as her protector. To stay close to her. It turned out that he only wanted to sleep with her.

?I am thinking of what it would be like to be your first lover.?

The ever-present blush on her cheeks deepened, and she hid her face in her hands. Why had she told him that she?d never been with anyone? It wasn?t any of his business! Especially not with him running around pummeling her old masseuse. She thought about going to see Clayton to apologize, but decided not to, for his sake. It appeared that Heero was a loose cannon, despite her dominance over him for the next several months. Fear of punishment did not register in his mind. He did only what he believed was necessary, based on the situation and his own his emotions.

His own emotions.

Without her consent, her mind drifted back to their earlier conversation. When she had told him that she?d never had a lover, his stance and his whole body had changed. His face went from impassive and unreadable to downright primal. The look in his eyes went from cold to possessive, from hard to hungry. He?d begun to emanate power and tension, his body stiffening and inching closer to her, all in just a few short moments. The knowledge of her chastity seemed to invigorate him, inspire him to open up to her, to show her what he was really feeling.

He had said he was thinking of what it would be like to be her first lover. Not just any lover. Her first lover.

She told herself that she had imagined his display of interest. It was lust, that?s all. Did she not have enough proof of his habits to convince her of his shady intentions? No, she was thoroughly convinced. Moreover, she was determined that he would not have the outcome he sought. She would not allow him to fulfill his lust with her. She would not sleep with him.

No matter how she much wondered what it would be like. Just once.

Many times, she had wondered about how it would feel, who it would be, and whether or not the act would change her. All of her friends were either married, or in relationships, and all of them had mentioned the joys of sex to her. Numerous men had tried to get her into bed. Either by simple suggestion, or by trying to kiss her with their hands wandering about her body. Considering the age she was at now, she ought to have taken a lover years before, but she didn?t. Partly because she wanted it to mean more than just mutual pleasure, and partly because?well?she wanted it to be Heero. How foolish she was! But honestly, what was so wrong with saving one?s virtue? Her responsibilities in public office always came first, no matter what. A lover would only complicate things. Distract her. Plus, relationships themselves were complicated. It simply wasn?t worth it.

But, oh, how she wondered what a more ?intimate? massage from Heero would feel like. Just once.

Coughing and shaking her head to break herself free from her own thoughts, she looked down at her watch in dismay. Eight o?clock. Time to go home. Time to go watch the man she used to dream about crumble before her eyes as she fights to keep her feelings hidden. What a cruel irony it was to finally have him imbedded in her life, only to discover that her body was all he wanted.

She would hide her own desires from him as well as from herself, along with the pain of knowing that satisfying these desires was all he ever sought.

The drive home was shorter than usual, or maybe it just felt that way due her fear of returning to the mansion. Upon entering the front door, her senses were instantly greeted by the smell of grilled chicken, a hint of garlic, a few other spices she couldn?t name, and a subtle hint of chives. Whether Heero had known how to cook so brilliantly before getting caught, or was stealing his recipes out of a cookbook, she didn?t know. Nor did she care. It smelled wonderful, and her stomach began to argue with her about how long she could unwind before eating. Once her coat was safely hung in the closet, she made her way towards the dining room.

The table had been set for one, as usual. Rather than leave platters across the table for her to pick at, he had filled a plate with steaming hot chicken, potatoes, and a vegetable stir-fry just begging for her attention. It was all arranged exactly how she liked it, with just the right portions so that she could finish everything on her plate and not need a second helping. A glass of wine sat beside the plate, and silverware was delicately placed on a napkin. There may as well have been a waiter standing there to ask if she required anything else. Instead, there was Heero, walking steadily into the room from the other side with his eyes glued to table, a basket of breadsticks in his hands. His timing was always perfect.

Not for the first time, she had to bite her lip to keep from sighing at the vision of him. With so much to do during the day, he always dressed simply; black slacks, a black button up shirt, and sometimes, a jacket. It made him appear casual enough to talk to, but handsome enough to steal her breath just by looking at him. He set the basket down on the table near her plate, then pulled out her chair without looking at her. Careful not to brush up against him, she sat down and allowed herself to bask in the glorious scents of her dinner before she began to eat. Everything tasted so wonderful that she thought she might sigh after each bite, but she waited until Heero had returned to the kitchen before she simply moaned around her fork in sheer delight. Absolutely delicious.

From the kitchen, she heard what sounded like twenty metal pans all hitting the floor at once. Confused, she was about to go see what had happened, but thought better of it and continued eating. Heero wasn?t the kind of man who could be brought down by a small mishap in the kitchen. Surely, he was fine.

\\\\\\\\\\

Everything in the kitchen had, at last, been cleaned up. Dropping half of the cookware onto the floor while making his way to the dishwasher had not been his intention, but, damn her, she had moaned aloud with a fork in her mouth. Did she really think he couldn?t hear it?

Grasping onto the counter with both hands, Heero rested his forehead against the cool surface of the kitchen window and cursed at himself. Once again, his reaction to his ?master? had succeeded in proving that she was right. He was a pervert. It was his duty to uphold her honor and protect her from all harm, and yet he could still picture her naked form in his mind. This punishment was far more effective than she could have ever realized. Living with her this way, seeing her and smelling her and not being able to touch her?well, he could touch her, when she commanded. But it wasn?t enough. He found himself to be the man least worthy of her attentions, yet he craved them. Craved her. He deserved none of her affections, and should not be wanting her this way.

At one time, her eyes would shine with admiration when she looked up at him. Now she peered at him through suspicious eyes, referring to him in a loathsome manner. By her calculations, he might be considered a modern day Cassanova. He was not. The only woman he wanted, the only woman he had ever wanted, was so far beyond his reach that she may as well be a dream. He had seen her, had been the first to see her, in all her glorious flesh and nothing else. Yet he could not have her. Would not allow himself to have her. He had looked, he could not ever touch. Not like that.

How many times had he wondered? How long had he watched her turn men away, then lie down in her bed with a wistful smile on her face?

?I haven?t ever had a lover.?

Why did that admission make him so glad? He wanted her, yes, but he knew that it could never happen. It was a logical impossibility. Why, then, was he so affected by everything that she did? Why could he not simply tune her out, as he tuned out so many others?

The feeling of something touching his shoulder caused him to whip around so quickly that he startled his visitor.

?Oh! I?m sorry!? Relena stammered, backing up a step, ?I came in to get more wine, and saw you leaning against the glass. Are you all right??

The eyes gazing up at him were full of concern, and it caused a feeling of yearning within him to think that she was interested in his well-being. It had to be stopped. ?I?m fine,? he said curtly, moving to the side so that he could step past her and leave the kitchen. She followed.

?Are you sure? You?ve never taken a break before, not in all the years I?ve known you.?

A break, that would be nice. A break from her and all her sensuous ways.

?Well, if you really are fine, my shoulders are killing me. They could use a rub.?

At his sides, his hands turned to fists and he gritted his teeth. Of all the times to ask for a massage, it had to be on the night he was most sensitive to her presence. Admittedly, he was glad that such things were being done by himself, and not that arrogant masseur he?d had to deal with, but that didn?t make it any easier. She must know what her little ?requests? did to him, that?s why she kept making them. The torture would never end.

He watched as she made her way up the stairs, humming to herself and running her fingers through her hair. What he wouldn?t give to be worthy of her. What he wouldn?t give to be rid of these selfish thoughts.

\\\\\\\\\\

With a happy, full stomach, Relena changed out of her work clothes and slipped into her favorite pink nightie. It probably seemed immature to wear such things, but she believed that a person should be as comfortable as possible when they went to sleep, and for some reason, she was most comfortable in the sheer, sleek fabric of her barely-there satin nighties. It would probably be best to wear regular pajamas with Heero around, but she intended to go straight to bed after her shoulder rub, so she decided to go as she was. Well, almost. She pulled a thin robe on over her shoulders and headed for stairs.

On her way down to the sitting room, she spotted Heero carrying a bottle of some sort of oil over to one of the couches. He sat down and poured a generous amount into his palm, then set the bottle aside and rubbed his hands together. Apparently, he didn?t notice that she had entered, or didn?t care, because he didn?t look up as she approached. With a small sigh, she sat next to him on the couch with her back in his direction, then shrugged the robe off of her shoulders and began to pull her hair to one so of her neck. Then she waited.

Nothing. No hands on her shoulders, no words of complaint. Perhaps he?d never given a shoulder rub before? She?d never asked, but he?d been so good at rubbing her feet that she figured he?d had practice everywhere else. Surely he must have given a shoulder rub to one of his other ladies, she thought wryly. A full minute passed, and still there was nothing.

She turned her head slightly to look at him. ?What are you waiting for??

His hands were still pressed together, as though they had frozen. His eyes were fixed on something above her shoulder blades, and she wondered if he was afraid of bugs and had seen one on her back. She almost laughed at the thought.

?What?s wrong??

She watched him swallow, and then say, ?Straps.?

?Oh!? Of course! She turned back around and hesitated, thinking this might be too personal, but it was his duty to do as she told him, and her shoulders really hurt. Biting her lip, she slowly slid one strap off her shoulder, then the other. Her nightie fell down around her waist, and she lifted her arms to cover her now exposed breasts, even though he could not see them from where he was sitting. For some odd reason, she wanted to giggle. Instead she studied the patterns on one of the throw pillows and prayed that he couldn?t detect the blush creeping up neck.

Gently, he placed his hands upon her shoulders and began to slowly knead her flesh. She felt her muscles warming up and smelled the oil, Sweet Almond, if she wasn?t mistaken. Relaxing her neck was impossible while sitting this way, so she let her head loll to one side and let out very content sigh. Wonderful.

Heero?s ministrations seemed to be getting firmer and firmer, and she liked the effect it was having. After a while, she couldn?t keep her head from tilting every which way, and when he spent a few minutes rubbing her neck, she heard herself give a soft moan. She blushed furiously at this, but she couldn?t help it. The tension had been focused in her neck and shoulders for weeks now, and it felt fantastic to finally have some relief from the aches in her muscles. Her arms fell limp at her sides.

The hands working magic on her upper body drifted slowly downward. She felt him working on a knot right below her left shoulder blade, and grit her teeth as he found the center of it and rubbed it out. After that, he moved to knead that flesh under her arms, working diligently to release all the tension that had built up. Strong, but not painful, he worked her flesh in his hands as he made his way down to her waist and back up again. Slowly, powerfully. His fingertips brushed against her ribs and tickled her, and she wanted to laugh. Up, up, until the tips of fingers brushed ever so slightly against the sides of her breasts. An electric jolt shot through her, and her eyes snapped open. His fingertips brushed against the sides of her breasts again. Her breath caught, and her thoughts went wild.

Another brush.

Was he doing this on purpose?

Another.

A gasp escaped her, and she felt the backs of his knuckles slide gently along her ribs, up to her breasts, then dance up to her collarbone. Her breathing had stopped and she dared not start again, even when her skin tingled as his fingertips glided down to circle around her breasts once more. Then, a step further, to glide across her nipples. She glanced down to see that they had hardened into little rosy peaks, and the strong but gentle hands cupped her breasts and lifted them, the thumb and forefinger on each hand giving both of her nipples a slight pinch.

She released her breath with a sharp cry.

It seemed her body was catching fire, for he now massaged her breasts as thoroughly as he had massaged her neck and shoulders. She felt his chest press up against her back and couldn?t tell if he had come forward, or if she had gone backwards. She decided she didn?t care. Her head fell back onto his shoulder and she heard his breath in her ear, fast and heavy, just like her own. For a moment, she wondered how this could be happening, if it really was happening. None of her fantasies had ever felt like this. She felt him give her breasts a tight squeeze and her back arched of its own will, jutting her chest out into his eager palms as she let out another soft moan. Against her cheek she felt the brush of his lips, a wet kiss, working his way down until he kissed the side of her mouth. She lifted her arm to grasp the back of his neck and turned her face into his, pulling his lips onto hers with force.

It was not how she imagined her first kiss with Heero would be. His lips were demanding, hungry, and she gasped at the ferocity with which he kissed her. With her lips parted, his tongue thrust into her mouth, and she felt her body quiver. Never in her life had she experienced such a feeling, such a desperation to be closer, to touch, to feel. One of his hands left her breasts and traced circles along her belly. She wondered if he would dare go lower, and he did. He kissed her more eagerly, then broke away and dropped his head to taste the flesh at her neck. The hand at her navel searched even lower, dipping beneath the robe bunched at her waist, and she thought suddenly that she should stop him. But why? She wanted to know what would happen. She wanted to know what he would do, what she would feel. She wanted to know where these feelings could take them.

Again she felt a pinch on one of her nipples, and sucked in a breath with a sound she didn?t recognize. Had that sound really just come form her? Heero?s mouth moved up to kiss her just behind her ear, while his other hand drifted even lower. He tickled her at the hips and she felt herself move, the fire in her now centered somewhere in the pit of her belly. His fingers slid beneath her panties and brushed through the curls above the junction between her legs, then sailed lower, sliding along that which had never been touched by any man in her life before. His name burst forth from her lips and she shifted, moving her legs to get him closer to the fire. His fingers slid along her entrance again, and then she felt one slip inside, a cry being torn from her throat as his teeth closed around her earlobe. He explored her gently, still kneading her breast in one hand and then dropping his head to kiss her shoulder. She felt his finger thrusting in and out of her slowly, until it was joined by a second. She squeezed her hand on his neck and cried out once more, feeling him sink his teeth into her shoulder as he began to move his hand faster. A ripple of sheer pleasure swept through her and she began to move with him, working herself against his fingers and turning her face into his hair when he began to rub his thumb against a spot just above her opening. It felt suddenly like she was bursting out of her skin, her entire body tensed and she felt the fire inside her spill out into every corner of her being. She heard herself panting and crying out and cared not, the feelings she was having were exquisite.

Hazy now, she felt her body go lax. Relena was aware of her own breathing, and the breath against her neck, and a feeling of contentment she had never known before. Heero stirred against her, removing his hands from their intimate places, and held her gently in his arms. In her heart was a feeling she dared not speak aloud, but she reveled in it, reveled in being near him, in his arms. Against her back she could feel his heart pounding, his chest moving quickly with his labored breath. For a moment she was confused, then her senses all became focused on the hard bulge pressing into her lower back.

Her body stiffened instantly. Did this mean?had she really just allowed him to??

Before she could finish her thought, he moved swiftly from the couch and pulled her robe back up over her shoulders. Turning to face him, she caught only the sight of his chest as he leaned down and scooped her up into his arms, cradling her against him as he turned and walked out of the room toward the stairs.

Her heart beat frantically in her chest. What was he doing? What did he intend to do? He reached the top of the stairs and turned, heading towards her bedroom. Panic coursed through her. He?d said he wanted to be her first lover. He thought he had fully seduced her. He meant to take her chastity!

At the entrance to her room he turned, carrying her inside and heading over to the bed. Desperately she tried to think up an escape, to voice an objection. Looking up into his eyes, she could see only hard determination. As he lay her down on the mattress, she opened her mouth to protest when he abruptly turned, striding away from her and out of the room.

With wide eyes, she watched the door to her bedroom slam shut, and heard the sound of a fist striking the wall. Still frozen in place, she listened to the sound of Heero slumping against her bedroom door, then the sound of his footsteps as he walked away.



TBC

[Midge-14]

Ah! Noooo! I thought this was a resolution! Poor Heero. Damn I was scrolling down and reading along when the chapter ended! ARGH! More more more please!

[HiFreak]

Hope the next update doesn't take 2 years, this is too good to wait.

[NafX]

Phew! *fans self*
Well now ... that was ... *fans self faster*

Ahem ... *swallows*

Do come back soon with more won't you ...

Love, love, LOVE IT!!!

~Nat.

[Litia-sama]

Hope the next update doesn't take 2 years, this is too good to wait.

Don't worry, I'm just getting started

Ah! Noooo! I thought this was a resolution! Poor Heero. Damn I was scrolling down and reading along when the chapter ended! ARGH! More more more please!

You reminded me that I have finally narrowed down the number of parts to this story! There shall be four in all. Muah!

Phew! *fans self*
Well now ... that was ... *fans self faster*

Ahem ... *swallows*

Do come back soon with more won't you ...

Love, love, LOVE IT!!!

Fear not. This fic is first on my to-do list, and it won't be the last. I will never let the 1xR fandom die!

[MarvelGirl09]

*Fans Herself* That self-control was EPIC- a lesser man would have taken her completely on the bed! Only Heero!
I commend him!

[lilac310]

waahhh..this is soo good! That was very admirable of Heero to have been able to control himself...especially now that they had gone that FAR. The sexual tension is amazing! lol...I can't wait for the outcome. *wink* *wink*

[hhryah]

*Fans self vigorously*
The sexual tension...gaaaaaahhh so amazing!

[Lady Saffir]

I think there's now a shortage of fans world wide, as we're using all of them. Whew! *turns fan on high*

Please post soon!

[rain2cry]

The sexuality in your writing is simple and yet completely erotic. I read this chapter over and over and over again, and each time it was only better and I gathered more from it.

Please keep writing! I cannot wait to see the rest of this, I know it will be an awesome read as your earlier work has proven .